Musicians you would really punch in the face

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Like I'm trying to think of a musician I would honestly physically attack if I saw them, like right there, that asshole, he/she's earned this one, ooh, POW! Assault charges and a serious beating from hefty bodyguards. There are plenty of musicians I have little or no respect or use for, but I used to have a certain set of people I really HATED, and now I don't. I might punch Sean Combs, but I think now it'd be easier and more appropriate to just make fun of him.

What about you?

― Millar (Millar), Friday, 6 June 2003 22:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Millar rage!

R. Kelly probably deserves a beatdown.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 6 June 2003 22:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Tim Wheeler. It's not just the fact that the man is a talentless irritant, but I could also handle him quite easily. Few slaps, couple of kicks to the skull, easy.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 6 June 2003 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Eminem, no doubt. He's so full of himself it's sickening. And that fake b-boy accent drives me crazy.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 6 June 2003 23:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I wouldn't walk up and punch him, but I wouldn't mind dropping the gloves with Our Liam.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 6 June 2003 23:09 (twenty-two years ago)

cregg from the vines

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Friday, 6 June 2003 23:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Rob Thomas.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 6 June 2003 23:12 (twenty-two years ago)

C.C. DeVille.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 6 June 2003 23:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Does Ethan Hawke play an instrument?

Can I count the "Add It Up" scene from Reality Bites?

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 6 June 2003 23:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, 50 Cent as well. The man swans around with what appears to be a pair of silk underpants on his head, thinks he's fucking Bertie Big Bollocks, doesn't he?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 6 June 2003 23:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Scott Weiland
That guy from Creed
Courtney Love
J. Lo
L.L. Cool J
Canibus
Morrissey
Orrin Hatch
John Ashcroft
Bright Eyes
Roger Waters

― King Kobra (King Kobra), Friday, 6 June 2003 23:43 (twenty-two years ago)

The guys from Queens of the Stone Age

― Aja (aja), Saturday, 7 June 2003 00:17 (twenty-two years ago)

a very sad thread

― jess (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 7 June 2003 00:23 (twenty-two years ago)

jess. :)

― Mike Taylor (mjt), Saturday, 7 June 2003 01:02 (twenty-two years ago)

That John Ashcroft article is one of the most hilarous things ever.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Saturday, 7 June 2003 01:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Ted Nugent?

― William R Henderson (Cabin Essence), Saturday, 7 June 2003 01:36 (twenty-two years ago)

That John Ashcroft article is one of the most hilarous things ever.

Yeah. Until you hear the song. And that blows the article away.

― King Kobra (King Kobra), Saturday, 7 June 2003 02:12 (twenty-two years ago)

This is indeed a very sad thread. However, I am a very sad man:

That singer from The Vines

Richard Ashcroft

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Saturday, 7 June 2003 02:21 (twenty-two years ago)

i would like to punch in the face:

- all the people i went to high school with.

- the guitar player in the band i auditioned for when i was 19.

- jay-z, 50 cent (though these are not actually musicians and should be much higher on the list)

- anyone who plays in a new-style "rock duo" involving either guitar and drums or bass and drums. particularly white stripes for nauseating me, lightning bolt for annoying me.

- sigur ros

- carl newman from the new pornographers

- david gedge (you can't moan, can you?)

- lou barlow (a punch in the nose)

- ahhh fuck it.

― fields of salmon (fieldsofsalmon), Saturday, 7 June 2003 04:50 (twenty-two years ago)

haha I REALLY want to hear Fields' band now, actually

― Millar (Millar), Saturday, 7 June 2003 05:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Bono!

― T. Weiss (Timmy), Saturday, 7 June 2003 06:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Getting into a fistfight with Courtney Love = instant fame and worldwide adoration. Even if you lose.

― Hank Ten Beer (kenan), Saturday, 7 June 2003 06:27 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't know about a punch to the face, but Craig from Vines deserves multiple kicks up the arse. this could be accompanied with shouts of

"Take that, you dope smoking, hamburger eating, 'twisted genius'"

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Saturday, 7 June 2003 06:38 (twenty-two years ago)

avril lavigne, but only if two other people held her arms.

― your null fame (yournullfame), Saturday, 7 June 2003 07:08 (twenty-two years ago)

avril's face looks like it's taken enough punishment

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Saturday, 7 June 2003 07:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Can I punch some of the former Singing Senators? Not Jeffords though. Also.. a friend from Utah clued me in on the musical career of Senator Orrin Hatch. I hear his albums sell quite well back in his home state. A partic. highlight: "America Rocks!"

― daria g, Saturday, 7 June 2003 09:11 (twenty-two years ago)

the rock band Jet

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Saturday, 7 June 2003 10:37 (twenty-two years ago)

all of them

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Saturday, 7 June 2003 10:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Jet are the coolest kids in Melbourne!

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Saturday, 7 June 2003 10:44 (twenty-two years ago)

bwahahahaha!!!

you'll be saying R1ff Rand0m are the future of rock and roll next.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Saturday, 7 June 2003 11:18 (twenty-two years ago)

jim, they are in fact, my oz rock heros.

― Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Saturday, 7 June 2003 11:31 (twenty-two years ago)

More reasons to punch Ashcroft (John, not Richard), preferably with a large vibrating dildo:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2003/06/07/MN243223.DTL

But Richard too, obviously.

― Momus (Momus), Saturday, 7 June 2003 11:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Matthew Herbert. sample that fucker.

― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 7 June 2003 11:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Someone already said Ted Nugent, but I'll say it again: TED NUGENT.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Saturday, 7 June 2003 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

the datsuns. all of them. i would win. they are pussies.

― di smith (lucylurex), Saturday, 7 June 2003 13:29 (twenty-two years ago)

im surprised Moby hasn't been mentioned yet.
morrissey could use a slap.

― g.s (kissmyfist), Saturday, 7 June 2003 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm so much more of a wedgie kind of guy.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 7 June 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Hasn't Moby suffered enough? He kind of annoys me too but really, he's pretty harmless.

My choice: Good Charlotte

― David Beckhouse (David Beckhouse), Saturday, 7 June 2003 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

The cruelest thing you could do to any of these people, really, is to ignore them.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 7 June 2003 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

i would punch Jet, then ignore them afterwards.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Saturday, 7 June 2003 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

they're quite a bit bigger than me, but they wouldn't be able to run after me in trousers that tight

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Saturday, 7 June 2003 16:48 (twenty-two years ago)

there's alot out there i'd slap if i knew i could get awat with it. but no mucician (no, not even lars or even kelly osbourne) would be worth the terrible beat down that would be layed upon me by any securty present.

― dyson (dyson), Saturday, 7 June 2003 17:11 (twenty-two years ago)

though all I'd wish on him is a few threatening sholder thrusts from Eminem, it is clear from his recent photo work and interviews that Moby has definitely not suffered enough.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 7 June 2003 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't recall his name but that guy who did "Don't Worry Wear Your Nappy Now" song.

― N. Ron, Saturday, 7 June 2003 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I really want to punch Uncle Kracker.

― Mike Taylor (mjt), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Can I hold him down for you?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I am glad you feel me on this one, ned.

― Mike Taylor (mjt), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Robbie Williams. Especially with all the Knebworth hype starting soon. He is going to be inescapable.

― Franklin Ambrose (Franklin Ambrose), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

*bows* There are other people I'm not fond of even more passionately, if you will, but he always struck me as useless.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't whanna punch Robbie, i'll get all his rabies infested mucus on my fist.

― Jrvision (visionjr), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

how is eminem's b-boy affect any more false than any other rapper's?

― amateurist (amateurist), Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:54 (twenty-two years ago)

mofo from the ... dammit, that Stonesy band. he married Kate Hudson. that guy! Chris something!

― Aaron A., Saturday, 7 June 2003 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

- Those cocksnots from Good Charlotte. Not just the twins either. Their spindly guitar player and Twinkie-loving bassist need some ballistic face re-alignment as well.

- Ja Rule

- Every member of Linkin Park.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 7 June 2003 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe it's not, amateurist, but it seems especially forced. anyhow, I just can't stand the way he talks.

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 7 June 2003 23:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Michael Jackson

― Evan (Evan), Sunday, 8 June 2003 04:38 (twenty-two years ago)

it'd probably fall off

― amateurist (amateurist), Sunday, 8 June 2003 18:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I could see myself delivering a personal beatdown to Sean Combs accompanied by the original version of "Kashmir" played at full volume.

I wouldn't put it beyond myself to maybe kick Fred Durst in the neck and face repeatedly to the tune of N*E*R*D's "Rock Star" upon a chance encounter.

If confronted by Courtney Love on the street whilst I happened to be drunk, I'd whip my dick out and wave it around at her while singing "instant karma's gonna get YOOOOOUUUUU!". She probably wouldn't get the joke ('joke' = I've seen her genitalia far too many times oh stop the burning sensation in my mind's-eye!!!!!).

I probably wouldn't hurt him, but if I did happen to bump into Ryan Adams, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from at least pointing and laughing, or maybe if I could keep control of myself I might just walk by him, not look at him or act like I recognize him at all, but as I pass him by, hum a few bars of "Summer of '69", just loud enough for him to hear it.

Most of all though, if I ever get my hands on that Nickalicious fucker...well, you know that intro bit from "M.E.T.H.O.D. Man"?

― not nickalicious (nickalicious), Sunday, 8 June 2003 19:13 (twenty-two years ago)

'ilm: i want to hurt famous black people and non-famous totally unknown indie musicians'

― trife (simon_tr), Sunday, 8 June 2003 19:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Michael Jackson's black?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 8 June 2003 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

well this thread is fucking appaling.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah im writing to my mp

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:28 (twenty-two years ago)

that's even worse!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:30 (twenty-two years ago)

i love how all the indie celebs are like conceited sellout types who want to be big rockstars and so ilm thinks theyre abandoning their roots or some bullshit like that, but the rappers rnb singers etc named are just rappers and rnb singers!!! their crime is being successful!!!

― trife (simon_tr), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I'm very jealous of P. Diddy, you got me, trife. Have you ever listened to any Dave Matthews?

― Millar (Millar), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:36 (twenty-two years ago)

its like ilm is mark fuhrman and yo look out jay z is driving while black!!!

― trife (simon_tr), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you suggesting, trife, that Jay Z is not a "conceited sellout types who want to be big rockstars"? That sounds pretty accurate to me.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

ILM in big collection of envious bigots shocker, trife?

― Millar (Millar), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

theres not the same reaction to jay 'selling out' because i doubt millar or whoever was a reasonable doubt head who still wants him to be gritty, its the p diddy thing too, their history doesnt matter for shit to you because theyre 'selling out' by not being marginalized and poor!!

― trife (simon_tr), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

and millar i never said anything about jealousy or envy so stop trying to bring that, i know youre not envious of puffy i mean come on hes COLORED

― trife (simon_tr), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:56 (twenty-two years ago)

p diddy is going back to being marginalised and poor to make iffy house records

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 8 June 2003 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay trife you got me there! Ha ha! Boy did I feel stupid when I found out Carl Craig and Derrick May were BLACK, I sure did want to punch them in the face!

― Millar (Millar), Sunday, 8 June 2003 21:04 (twenty-two years ago)

not famous

― trife (simon_tr), Sunday, 8 June 2003 21:14 (twenty-two years ago)

this is sub trifean at best.

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 8 June 2003 21:18 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah trife stick around, in the late show we hate on gay people too

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 9 June 2003 00:09 (twenty-two years ago)

the datsuns aren't sellouts, they were always shit. i wanted to punch them BEFORE they were all over england's tits. only difference is they got a stylist now. i can't believe they need someone to choose their denim for them!

― di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 9 June 2003 00:15 (twenty-two years ago)

in the past week the only thread on ilm to mention puffy or em or 50 or jay z is this one, when you only trot out these artists for a useless beatdown thread it starts to seem a little like racial profiling!! puffy hasnt even had a hit in years, hes not there for himself hes there as a symbol for rap that white people shouldnt like

― trife (simon_tr), Monday, 9 June 2003 00:28 (twenty-two years ago)

yawn.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 9 June 2003 00:31 (twenty-two years ago)

trife Alex is right. Puffy isn't a symbol of anything except lame, unimaginative, f**kin' not-real-in-any-Goddamn-sense-of-the-word-except-the-one-that-means-"yes,-it-exists"
shitty ass gives-a-bad-name-to-a-good-genre rap. Calling Puffy's records "rap" does the whole genre a terrible disservice. I saw him on the Regis
Philbin show doin' his "I want a girl who's there for me" song and it was just painful. It's not "racist" to fucking loathe Puffy. It's just good sense.

Sorry to get all emo but this is the second time you've played this card today

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 9 June 2003 02:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean, I don't notice you calling misogyny when two guys talk about how one's gonna hold Avril Lavigne down while the other one beats her...oh, wait, that's right, racism=bad, sexism=not something to worry about

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 9 June 2003 02:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus Christ what do you want should I start a thread called 'RAPPERS I WOULD NEVER DREAM OF PUNCHING IN THE FACE?' I've got quite a list. Is it so wrong then to call out the rappers I don't like? What the fuck. I knew when I started this thread it would get all 'if you don't have anything to nice to say' boo-hooey, which is why I prefaced it with a comment about the fact that I don't really have any musicians that fit the thread description anymore. Whatever. Please remain on the smug pedestal and rain down yr righteous indignation, it's almost as productive as the rest of this thread.

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 9 June 2003 02:32 (twenty-two years ago)

mention puffy or em or 50 or jay z is this one, when you only trot out these artists for a useless beatdown thread it starts to seem a little like racial profiling!!

Which one of these things doesn't belong here? (hint: coughthesecondonecough)

BTW, I hate gays and blacks equally.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 9 June 2003 02:37 (twenty-two years ago)

don't forget women and the disabled

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Monday, 9 June 2003 02:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, I think their food is running low...gotta go refill the vats. Thanks Jim!

― oops (Oops), Monday, 9 June 2003 02:58 (twenty-two years ago)

: ( i love p diddy

― trife (simon_tr), Monday, 9 June 2003 03:04 (twenty-two years ago)

that's not our fault

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 9 June 2003 03:07 (twenty-two years ago)

: ( i love p diddy

and I love you, and you know it, too, but your conviction that white ppl not liking aboveground rap=white ppl revealing their secret racist hearts!!! needs serious reexamination. My hatred of Puffy isn't 'cause he's a convenient stand-in for stuff I don't like, it's cause back when he was all over the charts, listening to pop radio/watching MTV or its various equivalents became a fucking chore because I couldn't stand all that uncreative, dull recycling of songs under the guise of "sampling." You gotta give people the benefit of the doubt & take 'em at their word: people might just wanna punch Puffy in the face 'cause they think he sucks.

Oh yeah and there was the whole "I am no longer Puff Daddy, now I am P. Diddy" thing, which merits as much ridicule as the world can spare

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 9 June 2003 03:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I believe I have now become a musician whom Trife would punch in the face ;)

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 9 June 2003 03:19 (twenty-two years ago)

physically attacking a bunch of black people = racist

physically attacking a bunch of black people who make 'bad' music = not racist

also he was diddy was before the namechange, he used it all over no way out!!

My hatred of Puffy isn't 'cause he's a convenient stand-in for stuff I don't like, it's cause back when he was all over the charts, listening to pop radio/watching MTV or its various equivalents became a fucking chore because I couldn't stand all that uncreative, dull recycling of songs under the guise of "sampling."

this statement makes no sense!! the second half merely reaffirms the first part you deny!! 'i hate modern hiphop--puffy is a representative of modern hiphop--i hate puffy' (or the even less convincing conclusion '--puffy is not a representative of modern hiphop')

― trife (simon_tr), Monday, 9 June 2003 03:32 (twenty-two years ago)

agree re: punchability but that's why he's got so many guns around him, he's not stupid

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 9 June 2003 03:37 (twenty-two years ago)

trife, you may have had a point if every person listed here was black. But most of them aren't. Are we to pretend we like all black acts just cuz they're black and we feel guilty from slavery?
No one here is 'physically attacking a bunch of black people' or 'physically attacking a bunch of black people who make 'bad' music'. We are simply attacking PEOPLE. The only person here to whom race is a factor is you.

― oops (Oops), Monday, 9 June 2003 04:11 (twenty-two years ago)

i cant imagine anyone hating puffy except if because they were racist!!

― trife (simon_tr), Monday, 9 June 2003 04:25 (twenty-two years ago)

c'mon the i need a girl remix was fucking great.

and all that biggie stuff you love j0hn? straight puffy productions.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 9 June 2003 04:48 (twenty-two years ago)

and all this "he steals other artists" bullshit? c'mon its not like STING'S artistic integrity needs preservation or something, not to mention which critics flipped when the Fugees did it worse.

badboys 4 life was great too.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 9 June 2003 04:49 (twenty-two years ago)

His production on "You Gets No Love" kills everything ever, and "Bad Boy For Life" is one of the best rock songs of 2001, but he still has a face that needs punching, so does Eminem, so does Kobe Bryant. They're all at the top of their game but they all seem so cocky about it = punchable punchable punchable

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 9 June 2003 05:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Sterling you've got me confused with somebody else, I like Biggie fine but only own one album of his and generally I'm the guy saying "Biggie's overrated" in a room full of ppl goin' "oh Biggie, best MC ever" etc

trife, here's what you said upthread:

so I was responding to that. Despite your multiple exclamation points, it is perfectly possible (even rational!) to hate Puffy because one thinks his music is ass & he couldn't write a lyric if his life depended on it. His records are ass. His production skills, whatever. The records he takes lead on suck bone. Period. As Sterling points out, he has appalling taste in music ("Every Breath You Take" is worth biting? JESUS), and his "sampling" is just such dull use of the medium. I NEVER SAID "oh he steals other people's stuff." I said that the way he did it is BORING. And it is.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 9 June 2003 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I threw a punch at one member of Sum 41.

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Monday, 9 June 2003 12:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I've implied violence towards members of Jimmie's Chicken Shack

― Travis Angel (Travis Angel), Monday, 9 June 2003 12:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Trife, I like you bro, but this "____ would punch Puffy = ______ is a racist" is the weakest argument I've heard not come from the mouth of Rush Limbaugh. I hate Puffy cuz he's a fucking god-awful horrible weak-like-a-stream-of-squirrel's-piss-flow-having rapper who has raped-with-a-switchblade some of my favorite recordings of the past 25+ years.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 9 June 2003 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

....I can't understand what makes a man hit another man, help me understand....

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 9 June 2003 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

trife note that nick didn't say he was against sampling, only that Diddy sucks at it

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, 9 June 2003 13:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't like Puffy's music, but he's awesome! He's like Sinatra, and has made Ashton Kutcher his bitch.

I honestly can't think of any musician I'd like to punch; I accidentally ended up shoving Damon Albarn once and since he is my most hated that was satisfying enough.

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 9 June 2003 13:10 (twenty-two years ago)

If Puffy is like Sinatra, I'm the Ayatolah.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 9 June 2003 13:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Exactly.

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 9 June 2003 13:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I am not a violent person but what frustrates me the most is all of these self-professed "artists" and "liberals" who spend all their riches on cheesy nouv.-riche McMansions out in the burbs. I know they want their privacy and all but...

I am not a big fan of Moby, but after my limited viewings of Cribs, I respect him a lot for still staying in the City.

The worst offenders are: Hollywood people who seem to care a lot about the victimized around the world, but probably dont ever step down from the hills to do anything about it at home (NB I finished City of Quartz a month ago and am still naseuous.) I am more unusure of how to feel about rappers, as some have made their money decalaiming the opressive police state in the ghetto and then they escape behind gated communities once they get famous. Either they didnt learn anything or know too much.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Monday, 9 June 2003 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

He's like Sinatra, and has made Ashton Kutcher his bitch.

I need clarification on these points.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 9 June 2003 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

vic chesnutt (or whatever his name is)
& i am joking.
so who here has been punched in the face?

― kephm, Monday, 9 June 2003 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I have been punched in the face.

― kate (kate), Monday, 9 June 2003 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I haven't been punched in the face yet, but I have had a beer bottle thrown at me accompanied by a yelled command to "play some Pantera, we don't wanna hear this stupid wigger shit!". It hit me in the face. We kept playing. I bled a lot that night.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 9 June 2003 14:27 (twenty-two years ago)

hardcorelicious.

― NA. (Nick A.), Monday, 9 June 2003 15:03 (twenty-two years ago)

did you bleed all over your guitar? how GAWTH!
i hate it when the pain goes away , but the blood keeps on running.

― kephm, Monday, 9 June 2003 15:09 (twenty-two years ago)

i got punched in the face once, by random toughs in Providence, RI

also once in Soho by a bunch of beered-up mooks

both times it was because i was at the top of my game yet not sufficiently humble about it

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 9 June 2003 15:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned, just watch the MTV movie awards.

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 9 June 2003 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know, that's a scary prospect at the best of times.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 9 June 2003 17:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, but Tatu!!! And JT homoeroticism!!! Etc.!!!

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 9 June 2003 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

The only part i saw was Chris Kattan dressed as a huge envelope and getting kicked. I saw that part about three times for some reason, it was on that exact part every time I turned on the TV. Now, Chris Kattan is kickable, yes, but fuck that stupid shit.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 9 June 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

It goes without saying that most of it was k-lame and stupid -- the remarkable thing was the interesting parts like Tatu, etc.

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 9 June 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

It goes without saying that most of it was k-lame and stupid

You have identified the chief flaw. Also, the prospect of Mr. Weedy Boy getting homoerotic with anything disturbs my soul.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 9 June 2003 18:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Drums!

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 9 June 2003 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Especially if he got homoerotic with those.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 9 June 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Mr. Combs was observably drunk in the clips I saw of him at the MTVMAs. Something to the effect of 'Yo MTV you sure know how to put on a m--------kin' party!' with a big martini in hand. Now there's nothing wrong with that in the least, but that's doesn't make him Frank Sinatra. Also, making Ashton Kutcher your bitch is nothing to brag about, really. Can anybody else believe that celebrities actually fall for that shit on "Punk'd?"

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 9 June 2003 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

there's soemthing suspiciously false about "punk'd" sometimes...like the camera coverge they're getting is a bit unlikely from concealed cameras and often the prankees suspicious avoid eye contact with the camera--like their eyes dodge away from it after resting on it a moment. i.e. they know it's there.

however some of the pranks seem real insofar as the celebrity reactions are much more muted than hoped for. "oh, guys, this waiter is being annoying, let's leave a tip and go." "hahahaha beeatch you got PUNK'D!" "hm? oh, good show ashton, does anyone know where i parked my jetta?"

― amateurist (amateurist), Monday, 9 June 2003 20:32 (twenty-two years ago)

mofo from the ... dammit, that Stonesy band. he married Kate Hudson. that guy! Chris something!

Chris Robinson. I know how to box; I'll help you out. Oh yes, and it's sub-Stones, darling. :)

As for a number of other posts here

1. MTV is the devil. If I could punch the lights out of every single individual responsible for MTV from ca. 1998 - present, I would.

2. Puff Daddy and people like him nauseate me. The very classic, very great Run DMC never needed a "posse" -- why the hell should this poor excuse need one? Oh, that's right -- to show off in the only way his bloated ego knows how. Bloody hell. All I know from 50 Cent is what my youngest cousins tell me, and I wouldn't touch him with a 50-foot pole. Does all the above make me racist? Hell no. If I were racist, I wouldn't miss Corey Glover on VH1 so much. If I were racist, I wouldn't have the love for Chic, Change, Chaka Khan, and Queen Latifah that I do. If I were racist, I wouldn't be able to play Duran Duran's Liberty, because you know, the drummer's one of "them" (Sterling Campbell, fyi). I am not racist for absolutely abhoring the "show the camera the $100,000 of jewelry you have, in a gaudily-decorated mansion no one of taste would actually get, with big bottles of undetermined liquor laying about everywhere, in a video that shows women nearly nude and men with big, baggy clothes and teed-off expressions that are pathetic instead of being threatening" ilk. I'm just someone who's a bit fed up, that's all. And it would be a bit laughable to assume I'm racist, after all the stories my parents have told me about how they were treated Way Back When.

*whew* Needed some things to be worked out, of course. :)

― Dee the Lurker (Dee the Lurker), Monday, 9 June 2003 22:28 (twenty-two years ago)

"And it would be a bit laughable to assume I'm racist, after all the stories my parents have told me about how they were treated Way Back When."

!!!!!!!!!!

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 9 June 2003 23:43 (twenty-two years ago)

wow sterling that was poignant

― Millar (Millar), Monday, 9 June 2003 23:51 (twenty-two years ago)

"show the camera the $100,000 of jewelry you have, in a gaudily-decorated mansion no one of taste would actually get, with big bottles of undetermined liquor laying about everywhere, in a video that shows women nearly nude and men with big, baggy clothes"

fuck, where do i sign up for this!!! dee, what kind of mansions do people 'of taste' have?

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 00:22 (twenty-two years ago)

what kind of mansions do people 'of taste' have?

er, they don't.

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 00:26 (twenty-two years ago)

also 'way back when' haha!! phew good thing that nasty culturally institutionalized racism is all over now and black people have completely equal rights and opportunities to whites!!!

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 00:26 (twenty-two years ago)

"rich people with taste" = oxymoron

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 00:26 (twenty-two years ago)

thank you for romanticizing the sensibilities of us poor folks, we truly are noble, what with our lack of grocery money and all

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 00:32 (twenty-two years ago)

if puffy and all those other rappers can just stay in the projects theyll be so much more TASTEFUL! but wait people in the projects like diddys taste as well!! i guess theres no winning for 03 hiphop culture, good thing the world has decided rap isnt tasteful enough and is therefore molded in the image of the white stripes

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 00:36 (twenty-two years ago)

my god, you really are an idiot, aren't you?

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 00:38 (twenty-two years ago)

FIGHT THE POWER, TRIFE!!

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 00:44 (twenty-two years ago)

trife I understand yr anger but nothing you've said has convinced me that 'I'll be missing you' is anything less than the most crass and painfully tasteless moment in the entire history of recorded music.

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 00:52 (twenty-two years ago)

millar do you hate rock'n'roll?

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 00:52 (twenty-two years ago)

save that dime for the cigarette machine

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 00:55 (twenty-two years ago)

actually jess I hate all music, I just post here to antagonize people

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 00:57 (twenty-two years ago)

actually, I'd argue every song where he mentions Biggie ASIDE from "I'll be missing you" is crass and tasteless. I figure you gotta give the guy one memorial song. After that Diddy's just trying to remind us why he's admired (because he stood next to a good rapper).

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:00 (twenty-two years ago)

millar its hardly one of his best singles (thatd be the all about the benjamins remix, been around the world, d.i.d.d.y., p.e. 2000, countless others) but its certainly better than the song it samples, i like faiths singing part and it does make me genuinely sad that biggie died, maybe you have to actually care about big for it to affect you!!!

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:05 (twenty-two years ago)

miccio, 'crass and tasteless', theres that word TASTE again!! and in what way is puffy 'crass' specifically?

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Somehow it didn't occur to all the other musicians who have had friends pass away, violently or otherwise, to sample an entire riff from an old #1 hit, change the chorus a little bit, and produce a completely throwaway candypop 'memorial' exploiting the public's immediate fascination with the subject matter to sell million of records. If a friend of mine chose to 'memorialize' me in such a lazy, greedy fashion I'd do everything in my power to curse him from beyond the grave. Frankly though whatever Combs does matters little in a relative sense compared with, say, Karl Rove or Henry Kissinger, so I'll save my rage for them. Forget I ever started this thread. Being angry at musicians for sucking eggs and pushing shit on the public with no regard for anything but revenue, how gauche.

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:09 (twenty-two years ago)

and dude for real even pretending that song is better than the Police original is no less subjective or capable of being called 'racist' than any of the statements above, so fuck off with that shit

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I can be genuinely sad that biggie died without watching MTV, how about that?

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:12 (twenty-two years ago)

actually jess I hate all music, I just post here to antagonize people
Tanya Headon to thread for corroborating evidence!

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:13 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah fuck those musicians who have 'no regard but anything but revenue'!! good thing every artist you like isnt like that eh millar!! and why is sampling a factor?? and from an old number one hit no less!! making pop music is so tasteless!! anyone who is doubting puffys sincerity in ill be missing you didnt see his beautiful solo dance to it at the 97 mtv music awards, i think making something that made so many people feel for biggie the way puff surely did is a wonderful thing to do when a friend has passed on, its a positive fucking effort!!

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:16 (twenty-two years ago)

haha Missy to thread and the sonic youth Silver Sessions ("I know how to memorialize Jason! A throwaway CD of cheap feedback!")

Lou Reed tried the same trick on New Sensations with "My Friend George" but it was too crap to catch on.

Anyway ANYTHING done to a sting song is an improvement.

Oh right now I remember why nobody memorializes rockstars when they die -- coz they're usually drug-bloated hulks where you saw it coming ten miles away. Either that or they're sad indie fucks who off themselves and it takes 30 years before anyone notices.

The obv. exception being Perry Cuomo's touching memorial "Sid, Nancy, and the Kids (Flowers in the wind, ashes in my eyes)"

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:18 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah don maclean - american pie (which i also like) to thread!!

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:19 (twenty-two years ago)

you didnt see his beautiful solo dance

Are you for REAL???

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:24 (twenty-two years ago)

completely, it was heartbreakingly funereal, i didnt like it as much once the song really kicked in and there were other dancers but puffy alone in in a spotlight was the most touching and appropiate response to a death since c.s. lewis - a grief observed, i guess writing a book about your wife dying is a crass tasteless cash-in too

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:28 (twenty-two years ago)

that's cool--it didn't seem that way to me, but I'm not about to tell someone else how to react to something.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Anyway the cheapest ugliest hip-hop cashin lately was Nas w/ Pac doing Thug Heaven.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:30 (twenty-two years ago)

for cheap ugly cash ins elton john to thread

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:30 (twenty-two years ago)

cheapest ugliest hiphop cash-in: outkast - stankonia

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I just wrote a big nice paragraph trying to explain my argument here but never mind. Sterling and trife can go enjoy their contrarian rebel love-in where they shit on The Police and discuss the myriad virtues of sampling four-bar phrases all at once

as I said before, this thread was a complete mistake, there is obviously nothing to get angry about regarding any musician, ever, oh, except Sting

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:32 (twenty-two years ago)

i really recommend anyone who hates puffy watch the mtv awards version of ill be missin you if you can find it, im completely serious about how tearjerking it is

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Millar there's nothing contrarian about shitting on Sting and enjoying big rich luxurious samples.

― True Majority (s_clover), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:37 (twenty-two years ago)

urine samples?

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:40 (twenty-two years ago)

urine jokes are crass and tasteless

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:42 (twenty-two years ago)

who's joking?

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:43 (twenty-two years ago)

wow Sterling have you ever listened to Dave Matthews?

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:44 (twenty-two years ago)

OMG you like dave too?!!?!1

my indie friends told me he wasn't "transgressive" enuf for them. :-(

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:46 (twenty-two years ago)

What the flying fuck. FWIW, Dee's background is Mexican and Spanish.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:50 (twenty-two years ago)

and?

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:54 (twenty-two years ago)

ned in 'all brown people are the same' shocker!!!

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:56 (twenty-two years ago)

good thing those spaniards are genetically incapable of racism!! hear that south america, everythings aight!!

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:57 (twenty-two years ago)

FWIW=For what it's worth

trife in jumping to conclusions blah blah

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:57 (twenty-two years ago)

They are all exactly like Divine Styler, right?

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:57 (twenty-two years ago)

'what the flying fuck'!!

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 01:59 (twenty-two years ago)

trife I saw that dance when it was happening and thought it was completely lame. and stop calling what Puff Daddy does "sampling," it isn't. sampling's creative. Puff Daddy sings over old tapes. Badly. And instead of mourning his friend, or taking the opportunity to bewail the culture of violence to which his fallen friend contributed signifigantly and unrepentantly, Puffy sez: "Hot damn! With my patented 'sing-over-a-hit-and-call-it-"sampling"' technique, I bet I can make a load of money!" And does. Any friend who saw his friend milking the corpse as long & hard as Puffy has Biggie's would be pissed OFF.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:08 (twenty-two years ago)

and finally, trife again I say that you know I love you, but you are routinely calling people who have actively opposed racism in many arenas "racist" and it's shitty of you to do so

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:10 (twenty-two years ago)

thats right folks, that rap game authority that is the mountain goats has decreed that 'singing over old tapes' isnt sampling!! who knew!!!

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:10 (twenty-two years ago)

"tasteful" rap = Where Is The Love by the Black Eyed Peas.

I love it, but do YOU?

be careful what you wish for foax.

(oh trife did you know that rapping is just talking and anyone can do that?)

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:12 (twenty-two years ago)

here is a list of some things that do not in any way prevent you from being racist in some way:

a) having previously opposed some form of racism
b) being mexican

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:13 (twenty-two years ago)

What about being Spanish and Mexican?

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:13 (twenty-two years ago)

or tex mex, oriental, or other kinds of food and carpetry?

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:15 (twenty-two years ago)

c)anything you have ever done, will do, said, have said, thought, have thought, etc.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:16 (twenty-two years ago)

can somebody lock this thread and then maybe delete it please

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:16 (twenty-two years ago)

on what grounds?

― jess (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:20 (twenty-two years ago)

millar everyone is having fun except you.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:20 (twenty-two years ago)

And indie rockers, of course. . .

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Millar's right, it's about to get ugly, trife is pissed off (and I don't blame him since a thread got started calling for his "beatdown")

that said, I am a better emcee & more reliable authority on rap than P Diddy

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:26 (twenty-two years ago)

talk about a sore loser, if there was any time this thread shouldve been deleted it was when it started

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:27 (twenty-two years ago)

trife would you hurry up and learn to play guitar so I can punch you in the face

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:28 (twenty-two years ago)

basically jess this thread should be locked because I suck

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:28 (twenty-two years ago)

link please

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:30 (twenty-two years ago)

j0hn did you hear that singing over a guitar isn't music? it isn't. music's creative.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:31 (twenty-two years ago)

ho ho ho

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:31 (twenty-two years ago)

trife would you hurry up and learn to play guitar so I can punch you in the face
He already knows how to play the worlds smallest violin....and its playing a sad, sad song right now for all of ILM.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:31 (twenty-two years ago)

j0hn did you hear that singing over a guitar isn't music? it isn't. music's creative.
sez who? the Anti-Geir?

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:32 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe I should just post tubgirl links until I get banned

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:33 (twenty-two years ago)

custos, geir brought more to ilm than your clueless forced gags could ever dream to

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Geir brought misery and strife. I bring sunshine and joy.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:35 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't make music, I BLOW MINDS

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:37 (twenty-two years ago)

but is your point "sampling is any use of a prerecorded track"? whether was Puff Daddy does counts as sampling seems a fair question to me

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:38 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm sampling my ass into a frenzy of dik play!!!

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I think what he does is called karaoke, cept he uses other words.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:40 (twenty-two years ago)

somebody give electric sound of jim a medal, that was completely brilliant

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah good thing indie groups never get known for doing stuff from cheesy pop groups like i dunno, Ace of Base or anything.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I now await Sterling's meditation on how one properly is supposed to argue with the Mountain Goats's swarm of 15 year old fans.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:45 (twenty-two years ago)

yes, but they're white, so it's completely OK.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:46 (twenty-two years ago)

bargain with them using cheap vodka and cigarettes

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:46 (twenty-two years ago)

oh c'mon ned you know I love j0hn to bits.

even more than a comparable singer-songwriter like dave.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:47 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah but I didn't rhyme "we pray for you" with "we pray for you" therefore I win

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:51 (twenty-two years ago)

i love when rock musicians get on rappers for not writing good enough lyrics!!

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 02:54 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah that's right trife, all rappers write better lyrics than all rock musicians

I publicly challenge Puffy to write a lyric better than the stuff I throw away

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 03:06 (twenty-two years ago)

j0hn I don't wanna hate on yr. lyrics but how can you deny something like:

"I'm the definition of, half man, half drugs
Ask the clubs, Bad Boy - that's whassup
After bucks, crush cruise after us
No gaze, we ain't laughin much
Nothin but big thangs, check the hitlist
How we twist shit, what change but the name?
We still here, you rockin wit the best
Don't worry if I write rhymes, I write checks
Who's the boss? Dudes is lost
Don't think cause I'm iced out, I'ma cool off
Who else but me? And if you don't feel me
that mean you can't touch me, it's ugly, trust me
Get it right dawg, we ain't ever left
We just, moved in silence and rep to the death
It's official, I survived what I been through
Y'all got drama, the saga continues..."

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 03:25 (twenty-two years ago)

as Ethan learned in chat my hatred of Puffy is so pathological that I'd probably hate on "shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" if he'd written it. originally I wrote up a long paragraph about the above-quote lines but the substance was, no, I really don't see much in there outside of a nice triple internal (touch me/ugly/trust me) and an admittedly nice "been through/continues" (followed by "y'all got drama," which sounds like a meaningly syllable placeholder to me)

but my post above is asking for trouble so let's just forget it, I've written plenty of clunkers, I don't rap, I just try to avoid rhymes as sloppy as "best/checks" and keep it real for the children, etc.

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 03:44 (twenty-two years ago)

"meaningly"="meaningless," bedtime for me

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 03:45 (twenty-two years ago)

"i cant imagine anyone hating puffy except if because they were racist!!"

1) no one would "really punch [puffy] in the face" because you would be at least guaranteed a massive beatdown and just maybe you would get shot at somebody who's supposedly tight with him but who later does hard time while diddy gives interview from the pool

2) i have this urge to punch ppl who are really really good at what they do YET/AND needs like a separate car for their self-regard; it IS jealousy mainly, and also anger at the sense that this person is frittering away the enormous loyalty and admiration i'd love to have for myself. i think puffy makes some great songs and i guess that's what we pay him for, nobody complains about baseball players setting moral standards for the rest of us, but monomaniacal self-aggrandizement at this stage of the game IS crass (trife, don't think "i'll be missing you" didn't have its elements of that, puffy laying his big signet ring over biggie's legacy. i wonder who would have gone to jail if biggie had the trigger finger in Club New York, say five years earlier?)

also i want to punch"good-looking" people with same YET/AND attached, no bearing on puffy i guess, except that it's part of this continuum of jealousy; Matthew Barney comes to mind

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 04:51 (twenty-two years ago)

haha millar this is my favourite thread for months!!

i punch you and it feels like a kiss

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 09:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I haven't read the whole thread, but has anyone commented how this makes such little sense it's hard to get angry at it? "trife: ILM: we hate indie celebs who are successful, and since we're blatant hypocrites, we also hate r&b celebs who are successful." Am I missing something?

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 10:45 (twenty-two years ago)

i really recommend anyone who hates puffy watch the mtv awards version of ill be missin you if you can find it, im completely serious about how tearjerking it is

I was in tears, too, because it really seemed like everyone on stage except for Faith was lining up to skull-fuck Biggie's corpse while shooting ping-pong balls out of their asses.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 10:48 (twenty-two years ago)

trife has salvaged this thread Millar. what a comedian.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 10:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan that was so beautiful

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 11:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd punch Thom Yorke so hard that his eye would stop being wonky

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 11:46 (twenty-two years ago)

beautiful in the sense of NEVER SAY IT AGAIN

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Pardon me for being late with this, but Trife typed....

cheapest ugliest hiphop cash-in: outkast - stankonia

Is that a joke?

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 11:51 (twenty-two years ago)

why is simon "when did you stop beating your wife" trife so hung up on race anyway?
some of the arguements on this thread are such dicksweat geir would be ashamed of them

― robin (robin), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 12:04 (twenty-two years ago)

lets all pretend we like every single black person ever to avoid pc hysteria

― robin (robin), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 12:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes. It's this: Indie Guilt: C/D :-)

― pete b. (pete b.), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 12:07 (twenty-two years ago)

anyway it just occurs to me that i was arguing about lyrics with a guy whose favorite music is people shouting in scandinavian.

i guess lyrics only matter if yr. not white.

< /sub-trifean>

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

michael i suspect youre just willfully misinterpreting what i said so i dont know why im bothering to explain but violently hating prepackaged 'sell-out' popstars like the p diddys and r kellys mentioned in this thread is different than feeling a personal offense at some smalltime indie rocker like ryan adams or whatever 'selling out' by not being another anonymous faceless indie musician (i dont actually know anything about ryan adams except that he used to be in an alt country band and now people hate him because his records sell at borders and now he doesnt peddle the indie marketing ploy of a false lack of self worth), ilm likes indie musicians but fuck them if they get a car commercial!! whereas the only possible context for non-famous p diddy or r kelly is to just not be hearing them at all

― trife (simon_tr), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah all the bono haters round here offend me with their anti Irish ways.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not being perverse, but I still unclear about the distinction you're trying to make.

"People hate certain indie musicians because they transgress some notions of integrity, but hate R&B singers just because they're there." I think people hate Ryan Adams for very similar reasons they hate Diddy: both of them come off as irredemiably arrogant fucks. This irritation isn't due to a "an indie marketing ploy," ep -- if I remember correctly, arrogance has been a well-loathed personality characteristic since the garden.

As for R. Kelly, I think the disgust people are feeling towards him has probably more to the sex scandals than anything else. AND BULLSHIT P. Diddy hasn't had any hits lately.

You also succumb to some really dire logical fallacies up above (as Robin pointed out), but I'm not gonna touch them. Not yet.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Trife what are you smoking? for every ilmer who complains about an indie rock car commercial, five ilmers rise up and say "shut up, what the hell's the diff. if a song's in an ad or not." The hateration has nothing whatsoever to do with success, though I have a feeling you're going to go on thinking that it does since that's the easiest route. People hate on Diddy 'cause they think he sux0rz

now, why people hate on R. Kelly albums is on the other hand a great mystery to me

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Trife, what's weird about your characterization of ILM-as-racist is that I've always regarded this board as being very much pro mainstream hip-hop/pop, and thus by proxy champions of black artists. Maybe Puffy doesn't get a lot of love around these parts, but dozens of people here worship Missy Elliott. And not a day goes by where posters aren't singing the virtues of various singles by 50 Cent, Jay-Z, Snoop, etc. This was one of the first things I noticed as being unique about ILM, when I first came here -- precisely that it wasn't like Pitchfork, who cover hip-hop only to criticize its commercialism or else praise it but in an awkward, obvious fit of white indie guilt.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

People hate on R.Kelly because he's got this fantastic voice that gets wasted on fucking horrible material (IOW he will never top "Fiesta").

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

awkward, obvious fit of white indie guilt

of course the same charge could be levelled against pop-hop lovers, but what the hell

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 18:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Fancy a Punch?

― kephm, Tuesday, 10 June 2003 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)

make sure you get my good side

― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

luckily I have no fear of being racist what with my being oriental and all.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 18:37 (twenty-two years ago)

you big orientalist

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

awkward, obvious fit of white indie guilt
Hey! Thats not PC enough. You have to say "Oppressor-American Indie Guilt"
(unless of course, saying "Indie" is somehow insensitive to non-Indies.)
Me: Well, she's an Indie Crazy PC Lady: "you can't call her that. You have to say 'Non-Mainstreamist-American." It's racist to call her Indie." Me: She plays electric washboard in a avant-grunge neo-bhangra jug band. She prefer to be called Indie.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 19:15 (twenty-two years ago)

women be shopping!

― James Blount (James Blount), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 19:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I really would hit Fred Durst.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 10 June 2003 19:18 (twenty-two years ago)

All of areosmith..

MOST of KISS

definitely BONO and i'm irish myself so fuck off.

Peter Frampton..

― sarah mcc______, Tuesday, 10 June 2003 19:21 (twenty-two years ago)

MOST of KISS

Anti-semite!

(ducks, runs, hides, etc.)

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Thursday, 12 June 2003 00:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought Vinnie Vincent was an Egyptian. Oh hold on that's still 'semitic' rite!

― dave q, Thursday, 12 June 2003 06:27 (twenty-two years ago)

[one thing i have always *liked* abt the horrible beatdowns i got into on ilm is where a week or a day or an hour or a minute later yr on another thread and the person i wz uber-rudely hating on says something that's totally THAT'S WHAT I THINK TOO => and instead of oogly-pointless fiting it's all suddenly hot fucking] [in my head] [i have never had sex w.anyone one ilx] [except [MODERATORS LEAP IN]]

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 12 June 2003 08:58 (twenty-two years ago)

and if you had an opportunity to bitch-slap frank zappa, mr. sinker, would you pass on it?

― Tad (llamasfur), Thursday, 12 June 2003 08:59 (twenty-two years ago)

no, tad — cz then i'd have to have sex w.him obv!!

the only person i ever "punched" as a "grown-up" is swellsy! (i slapped his baldy head once at the nme when he was OH irritating me so much, and he hit me back really hard on the arm, to "teach me respect for violence" = HIS ACTUAL WORDS!!)

(ps i heart swellsy despite all and this wz just youthful omega males dicking around in too confined a space long ago)

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 12 June 2003 09:06 (twenty-two years ago)

mick hucknall
marti pellow
ronan keating
g g g g gareth g g g gates
slipknot
axl rose

for a start

― frenchbloke, Thursday, 12 June 2003 14:12 (twenty-two years ago)

(i slapped his baldy head once at the nme when he was OH irritating me so much, and he hit me back really hard on the arm, to "teach me respect for violence" = HIS ACTUAL WORDS!!)

I love that story!

― Nicole (Nicole), Thursday, 12 June 2003 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

mick hucknell gets my votes. ive actually planned out a whole talk show event to shame him. the idea is, i get this talk showand id invite him on, tell him he can perform and shit. then just before he starts to do his song, i get a gang of convicts to come out and gang rape him. it'd be like jay leno, cept with even more reaming

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Thursday, 12 June 2003 16:10 (twenty-two years ago)

eewwww

― frenchbloke, Thursday, 12 June 2003 16:16 (twenty-two years ago)

three months pass...

The very classic, very great Run DMC never needed a "posse"

How did this one slide by?

― Frank Kogan (Frank Kogan), Friday, 3 October 2003 22:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to punch the lead singer of the Darkness. He's ruining what could be a perfectly fine pop-metal group.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 3 October 2003 22:22 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

That prick from The Feeling:

http://www.thunderchunky.co.uk/the-feeling-header.jpg

Look at him!

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Monday, 5 June 2006 16:13 (nineteen years ago)

he reminds me of

http://www.scrubs-fr.net/encyclo/personnages/images/13.jpg

― Konal Doddz (blueski), Monday, 5 June 2006 16:48 (nineteen years ago)

That prick from The Feeling:

You'll have to narrow that down a bit.

― mei (mei), Monday, 5 June 2006 17:01 (nineteen years ago)

Like I'm trying to think of a musician I would honestly physically attack if I saw them, like right there, that asshole, he/she's earned this one, ooh, POW!

oh dear lord, that's funny. It's like the desire to punch is there first. It's like William Burroughs saying that white people like to marshall the army before there are any enemies

― nicky lo-fi (nicky lo-fi), Monday, 5 June 2006 17:04 (nineteen years ago)

two years pass...

That Buggles-looking motherfucker from Hot Chip

― Peter "One Dart" Manley (The stickman from the hilarious 'xkcd' comics), Tuesday, 11 November 2008 13:32 (sixteen years ago)

Would be really cool to punch Yngwie Malmsteen in his face and release his fucking fury. :)

― Geir Hongro, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 13:37 (sixteen years ago)

i'd pay $10 to punch trent reznor in the face

― the sir weeze, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 14:13 (sixteen years ago)

this is an angry thread

― Kevin Keller, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 14:15 (sixteen years ago)

Can't believe no-one's suggested that fucking Kaiser Chiefs drummer.

― nate woolls, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 14:23 (sixteen years ago)

I'd like to line up The Decemberists and give them a collective face-slap...

― henry s, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 14:32 (sixteen years ago)

That Buggles-looking motherfucker from Hot Chip

Oh god me too, he is the walking, breathing epitome of all that is shite about modern music.

― MaresNest, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 14:37 (sixteen years ago)

Carlos Santana.

Johnny Bovril from Razorlight.

― Sven Hassel Schmuck, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 15:22 (sixteen years ago)

Any "freak-folk"/"psych-folk" musician who is not Skip Spence (and he's dead, so that'd just be mean and pointless).

I was gonna say Jim O'Rourke too, but Peter Brotzmann (allegedly) will beat me to it.

― Sara Sara Sara, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 15:27 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.brooklynvegan.com/img/music/rollins.jpg

― DavidM, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 15:53 (sixteen years ago)

3/5 of The Strokes based on their faces / expressions alone.

― If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 16:35 (sixteen years ago)

man if you get a shot at Rollins you better not miss, that's all I'm gonna say...

― henry s, Tuesday, 11 November 2008 18:07 (sixteen years ago)

I'd rather target someone who is stupid rich, absurdly self-important & prone to violent outbursts (Axl Rose, say) and antagonize them to the point where they punch me. Hello early retirement..

― Sugar hiccup, Makes a pig soar and swoon (Pillbox), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 05:12 (sixteen years ago)

Glenn Danzig, but many have beaten me to that punch.

― Eater of Mexicans (Bo Jackson Overdrive), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 05:25 (sixteen years ago)

danzig is like 5"3" tough guy

― the night of counting the years (Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 05:56 (sixteen years ago)

5"3"? What's that, measuring up and then out?

― Lower GI Joe (libcrypt), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 06:07 (sixteen years ago)

Let's be real here, Axl would probably just throw a diva-fit rather than fight back.

― mr. mayan end times guy (The Reverend), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 08:26 (sixteen years ago)

OK then, DMX. Eminem? Scott Stapp.

― Sugar hiccup, Makes a pig soar and swoon (Pillbox), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 08:30 (sixteen years ago)

Rose Melberg

― endangered cocktails, fish house punch, frivolous filly (unregistered), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 08:32 (sixteen years ago)

I would go to town on Pharrell Williams, for sure. He's probably my most loathed of all musicians. Then I'd make a trip over to Steve Aoki's house. . .(not that he can be called a musician), and Busy P, that dude needs a bout with some sort of unpleasant pox.

― Their time's limited, hard rocks, too (mehlt), Wednesday, 12 November 2008 15:47 (sixteen years ago)

How in the world have we made it this far without a DevBan mention? Him then.

― jon /via/ chi 2.0, Wednesday, 12 November 2008 22:16 (sixteen years ago)

omg 5 years ago is embarrassing jesus

― BODY PROP (nickalicious), Thursday, 13 November 2008 02:33 (sixteen years ago)

embarrassing, jesus

― BODY PROP (nickalicious), Thursday, 13 November 2008 02:33 (sixteen years ago)

haha you were right the first time.

rollins has been punched in the face zillions of times! didn't y'all read GET IN THE VAN??

hatin' on the strokes in 08 is funny though.

Any "freak-folk"/"psych-folk" musician who is not Skip Spence (and he's dead, so that'd just be mean and pointless).

^^do not hit gary higgins or bill fay in the face they are old (and maybe dead in fay's case)

― M@tt He1ges0n, Thursday, 13 November 2008 02:41 (sixteen years ago)

i think i'm going to try these crazy login names the kids are so crazy about these days.

― 'RAPPERS I WOULD NEVER DREAM OF PUNCHING IN THE FACE?' (M@tt He1ges0n), Thursday, 13 November 2008 02:42 (sixteen years ago)

I can't imagine hating on Puffy. He is like a fountain of amusement.

― mr. mayan end times guy (The Reverend), Thursday, 13 November 2008 07:48 (sixteen years ago)

one year passes...

you've come a long way, baby

― thomp, Thursday, 3 December 2009 13:48 (fifteen years ago)

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