Songs about women that think they're sensitive/caring but are actually skeevy/misogynist/sexist

My. Thoughts. Exactly.

fabolous' "can't let you go" is especially disturbing in this regard though.

the cam'ron thing doesn't even try to be that ultra-sensitive but just sorta casual and fun and i think it pretty much succeeds.

and how is the blink song not just the sweetest cutest thing on the planet?

Also:
Mr. Big - To Be With You (for the "waiting on that line" stuff)
Poison - Every Rose Has its Thorn

I thought that song was about their roadie dying in a motorcyle accident....and how life is tough and all.

It makes me physically ill. See also: Bryan Adams, "Let's Make It a Night to Remember".

And the Blink 182 thing is sort of cute, except the way that the girlfriend in question seems entirely subsumed by and subservient to the needs and wants of the Blink in question. Besides, the general fear-of-women metatheme in Blink's ouvre and OC pop-punk in general makes me leery.

Another candidate: almost anything that ever came out of that guy from Everclear's mouth except the stuff that's about his dad or drugs.

[Chorus - lil mo]
I really wanna be with you (be with you)
But I gotta be real with you (real with you)
I can't leave you alone (lone)

And I know I'm livin' wrong
But i can't let ya go
Your the one i want in my life (want in my life)
Already got a wife (got a wife)
Can't leave you alone (lone)
And I know I live and grown?
But I can't let ya go

[Fabolous]
You aint ever step out of line
Or get out a pocket
So I made sure canary sent out your locket
To protect you, I'll get out and cock it
And you know the barrel of my gun is big enough to spit out a rocket
Oh, you gonna play dumb if cops do come through
I gotta keep the top up if my drop do come through
But I know the boutiques and shops you run through
So Icop her one, and cop you one too
You always get a daily page, weekly ring
Plus you aint too shy to do them freaky things
I aint gotta put a band on your finger
Or worry about you tellin the whole world I'm your man while on Springer
At first you were somethin I denied
Something I would slide
Just to do somethin in the ride
But shorty
There's something you provide
'cause the entré ain't as good without somethin on the side

[Chrous]

[Fabolous]
Uh oh, i might be leavin the earth soon
My girl gonna kill me if she smells the scent of your perfume
Its gonna be a clitt toss if I go back
With stains of your lip gloss on my throwback
She wont care if im a platinum rapper
If she catch me with an empty magnum wrapper
So keep it on the down low call the car celly
You seen what happened with Mr. Big and R Kelly

[Lil Mo]
You know I care for you
Anytime this chick is there for you
Feelings im'ma share wit you
Which makes it a Lil Mo clear for you

You're not trying to tell me that anyone believes this song is anything other than misogynist?

"Now I´m no longer doubtful
Of what I´m livin´ for
And if I make you happy
I don´t need to do more"

"You make me feel like a natural woman"

It isn’t what she’s got to say
Or how she thinks or where she’s been.
To me, the words are nice, the way they sound.
I like to hear them best that way -
It doesn’t much matter what they mean...

cos, y'know, it's just something in the way she *moves*...

The idea of the thread seems to be songs that have one intention, but unwittingly belie buried assumptions that the songwriter probably isn't even aware are sexist. Bob Dylan does not have this problem.

Lloyd Cole - "Undressed"... since he's so apologetic about it, it (maybe) comes off (or is meant to) as complimentary.

"What's wrong with being sexy?" - Nigel Tuffnel

Of course he hasn't, yawwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnn.

I have a bunch of ex-Catholic relatives who'd love to take you up on this point.

Are there any songs about women which are sensitive and caring?

Yes. They're all written by Ani DiFranco.

I thought that song was about their roadie dying in a motorcyle accident....and how life is tough and all. "

Is it? I totally added it based on the dejected-sounding "It seems that you met somebody new / and that I never meant that much to you" line, which my girlfriend totally hates. This line would seem to indicate that it's not about a dead roadie, but I can't remember too much of the rest.

Because the women of the world really need a stern-faced lecture from Lord Jamar. Great beat, though.

How is "Catch" misogynistic/sexist? Is the fact that he sometimes let this other girl fall on her face sexist?

She can nag and be a constant pain
Ohhhh that woman
But those hips she's got me whipped
And it's just to hard to resist

(I.e.: women are annoying, but they make me horny, so God bless them for that?)

I wasn't actually that interested in authorial intention (*storm clouds gather*) when I started this thread. If anything, I'm interested in the way songs that externally seem to try to be winning and sweet and sensitive end up reading as skeevy or gross. There are clearly intentional instances of this effect ("Shame" by Randy Newman, for example), but there are just as many ("Just Like a Woman," say) where I honestly can't tell if it's supposed to deliberately be gross or is a stab at sensitive lover-man stuff gone horribly awry.

What a pompous dick.

You're kidding about this, right? Every source I've ever seen about this song says that it's about a spaceship landing in Fogerty's back yard.

Just The Way You Are by Billy Joel

What a pompous dick.

And, if the interviews I've seen with him are any indication, he still can't figure out why anyone would want to object to the song. Pompous dick is right.

that's "Something to Believe In". "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" is about being dumped by Pamela Anderson for Tommy Lee....and how life is tough and all.

Outkast's "Ms. Jackson" is almost a very good sensitive/caring song, up until Big Boi's "cuz my dick all in her mouf" verse.

so leaving the mother of your child is very sensitive/caring, but sex is mutually exclusive?

achin' to be

ah, but is that song about a woman?

achin' to be compares himself to her in every quality. "achin to be/just like me".

it seems to be a sort of character portrait of a woman with existential emptiness.

how the fuck is that sexist?

("she ain't exactly pretty... she ain't exactly small..")

on songs which actually are sensitive, 'all that i got is you' by ghostface might qualify. unfortunately it's on same record as 'wildflower' which should really result in immediate disqualification. it's also not exactly unknown for heavy duty misogynists get dewy eyed over their mothers. see grant mitchell

My theory about this song is that Clapton's kinda disinterestedly placating the female, like "*sigh* YES darling you look smashing, now stop asking."

"Magic Stick," on the other hand, actually seems sort of sincere to me.

If I was with some other chick and someone happened to see
and when you asked me about it I said it wasn't me
would you believe me, or up and leave me?
How deep is our bond if that's all it takes for you to be gone?
We only humans girl we make mistakes
To make it up I'll do whatever it take

He starts out this part going "Do you trust me when I say I'm not cheating on you," but then the "we make mistakes" line makes it sound like he may very well be cheating and is sort of insisting that the girl not worry about it, citing concerns of "trust." Sigh. And then to "make it up" with the lame closing fat kid/cake joke is kind of sorry.

But maybe we're talking about different things here. Who wants to unpack the term "skeevy"?

the chorus went "you're not just a recepticle"
er, thanks lads.

i've never heard it, but i imagine S*M*A*S*H's "lady love your cunt" was pretty damn horrendous too

per the grtst hts liner notes - music by CC, lyrics by Bret, tone inspired by CC's feeling about roadie's death, but explicit content about a girl and, see above, "Something to Believe In" is the one that actually refers to him.

Try implies intent. But songs that have some secondary meaning that subverts their romantic appearence I'll allow. (It's just all the "oh I am so much smarter than Sting 'cuz I see his love song is actually possessive and sexist" that bothers me.)

"You don't have to be afraid, luv/`Cuz I'm a safe surfer, darlin'"

...referring to the horny, re-assuring male's fib to his apparently gullible paramour that he's "clean".

Whew! Under the wire.

But anyway, doesn't the idea of "subverting" imply intent, too? I'm more interested in the idea that these songs are somehow wrong about what they are.

as she gave herself to him
did she feel like such a good woman
as she gave herself to him
was he happy with my used woman

sorry, but 'my used woman' just makes me wretch.
especially since on 'get around too', he most unfortunately decides to revive the 'free bird' genre of 'a man's a man baby, i'm gonna cheat on you so deal with it'. though with the added bonus of 'hey, you can too'. (though by the looks of the verse above i'm not sure how cool he is with it)...

now i know you're not the only game in town
baby i never meant to bring you down
but i get around
and you can get around too

this and given the fact that he's about twice as old as many scenesters give him not an air of youthful sexual arrogance, but just general creepiness.

OK, how 'bout "I'm In Love With A Girl" or whatever by Big Star as (maybe the only) opposite of what this thread is about.

"Brown skin lady" especially.

"Creating an environment for happy brown babies" = yech

Your right breast."

Yeah, they're so laid-back and have a natural sense of rhythm, too.

here it is for reference.

However, when I saw this thread, I immediately thought of Billy Joel. "Always a Woman" give me the heebs.