Top 100 Response To Requests While DJing

83. "This is the new [x] single."

(I cannot remember which band 83 happened to me with.)

OK, it's not funny, but I got this from Mr Stringfellow once, and he actually did play the record I asked for. So ner.

70. 'pictures of you' by the cure? it's new year's eve love.
69. it's a party not a fckng funeral pal.
68. i've got it on the ipod/pc/ at home but not here.
67. no, the indie hour was from 11-12. you missed it.
66. i've only got the libery x version sorry.

65. [smash disc]

"Can you not play some punk?"
"Well, this is The Clash on now..."
"Some old punk then"

- when someone asked me to put on some Silverchair whilst doing an IDM set on my PC.

57. "This is Venom/Aphex Twin/Fela/Kvikksolvguttene -- it's a lot better than U2!"

56. "I'll take care of this -- you go back out there and take care of drinking!"

(this happened to me at a party two weeks ago - twat thought that just cos he'd brought the amp and speakers, he could bore everyone shitless with an hour-plus of tedious generic "dance" rubbish that made everyone miserable. Turns out he was right. I'll-take-my-ball-home wanker.)

50. "Erm, I don't have that one. But I've got such and such which is very much like that [punter hasn't heard of it and it doesn't sound a damn thing like what they wanted]. You'll love it!"

44. Nope, don't own any Bad Company LPs

43. ask me to play R.E.M. again and I'm putting "Radio Song" on repeat for an hour and telling everyone you requested it.

36. "No. Sorry. I'm just playing the Shamen's entire discography tonight"

"Am I annoying you, I am amn't I"
"Yes"
"If you play some ........ I promise I'll dance!"
"the dancefloor is full already, I don't care if you dance"

34. "Yeah I love that song! it's great! You come here every week? Yeah I've noticed! I'm finished in a half hour, my name is Ronan"

(from CLIQUE, manchester)

me: 'hi can i help?'
grrl: 'u do requests?'
me: 'yeah sure'
grrl: 'can u not play something we can like, shake our asses to? some real booty shaker?'
me: 'errr okay..well what like?'
grrl: 'like missy or something'
me: 'yeah we were gonna play missy next actually'
(grrl goes away. 5 minutes pass, and we're into the missy track)
grrl: 'oh come on! let's have something we can really get down to!'
me: 'okay well like what for example?'
grrl: 'like some r n b or some booty bass or some... some misy!
me: THIS IS missy!
grrl: 'yeah but not this one...'

fin.

[Duran Duran's "Rio" is playing on the background.]

Girl: Can you play, like, some eighties music?
Me: This is eighties music I'm playing right now.
Girl: Yeah, but can you play some hits?
Me: This was a big hit back then.
Girl: Yeah, but I mean, something I recognize.

32. "No I don't have it. I don't have any rock music with me. In fact, I don't even own any rock records."

(You can't imagine what a hard time some people have accepting this answer, even though it's true. For example, one confused girl responded, "But Iron Maiden isn't rock...")

then not playing it.

28. The next DJ might have it, you may want to ask him/her...

ha! i've used that line so many times.

pretending you haven't noticed someone is trying to get your attention is a good one too. if you manage to avoid eye contact for about 5 minutes, they usually go away. if they persist in being annoying -

25. fuck off, i'm trying to mix.

usually works.

it amazes me how many people try to pester for a request me when i'm in the middle of a mix. this guy who plays guitar in a local band is always doing it. i'm really tempted to go along to his next gig and get on the stage while he's doing a solo, tap him on his shoulder and request he plays 'i wanna be your dog'.

haha!! clasic. like, how many times does this happen? even the talking DJ at butlin's barry island in 1984 would think twice (worst dj ever).

anyway, I'm NOT one of those assholes who's like, DJing is like playing an instrument, I mean, I can talk to you, no problem, but when I'm actively djing, I'm controlling the music everyone is hearing. You wouldn't walk onstage when a band is playing and grab someone's arm! Likewise, when I'm djing, please don't try to get my attention by grabbing the very arm that is CAREFULLY trying slow down the playing record with subtle touches of the record!

There's the difference between djing on either side of the atlantic, I suppose.

24. [pretends to fumble with mixer] Yeah, your CD doesn't work in my player. I don't know what's wrong with it.

"yeah, but like, any old school disco."

"well, this is from the 70's..."

"What about from the early '90s?"

"Uhhh... I don't really have any idea what you're talking about."

"Abba?"

"no, that's just not really what i play..."

"Ah, well, what about Grease?"

"Ummm.. like the movie? [23.] Yeah, see, pretty much if you can request something that sounds like what i'm playing right now, there's a chance that i might actually have it, let alone play it. As it stands, I have a policy of generally not taking requests."

-- response from the DJ to me when I requested Edie Brickell's "What I Am" at what I didn't realize was an exceedingly fundie-charismatic youth-group dance in early 1989

Prev should be #20.
Joesph McCombs #21.
jeffery #22.

Oh, and gear... OTM.

Obviously to be used with discerning judement, but I swear, the person pestering you becomes the center of all negative attention just like that. I especially enjoy doing it in response to silly/abusive requests by management, not clubbers.

(In response to 'play something faster' request during probably the fastest record I had with me)

#18 Deliberately play the slowest records you have (in this case it was Audioperú's 'Viviendas Paraiso' and Le Dust Sucker's 'Mandate My Ass').

#18.- I bet you'll have some more fun if you go and enjoy what you're listening to than if you stay here listening to me just telling you a bunch of "NO's"

17. "Oh, that is a great request! I'm gonna put it on right now!"

bloke "alright mate?"
me "not so bad thanks!"
bloke "can you do us a dedication?"
me "er, what? through the mic u mean?"
bloke "yeah..it's for julie and tom, just say 'happy..."
me "well in actual fact no we don't really do dedications"
bloke "oh...well then have you got any bananarama?"

Another time this cute girl liked my selections so much she came to offer me some booze. I ended up walking her home... literally, since it was wintertime and the ground was icy, and she was so drunk she had trouble not falling down. That never lead to anything, however. Sigh.

Obviously to be used with discerning judement, but I swear, the person pestering you becomes the center of all negative attention just like that. I especially enjoy doing it in response to silly/abusive requests by management, not clubbers.

Brilliant.

"i'm straight"

"Sorry, I only play a bunch of stuff everyone hates to make the guest DJ look better."

Meanwhile dancefloor is packed for Blur.

me: [plays "the great commandment" by camouflage]
person: is this from the new depeche mode album?
me: ...yes.
person: awesome! [proceeds dancing]

before i DJed i never knew why DJs seemed pissy whenever i approached them. it's because every single question, no matter how innocuous, inevitably comes off as, "i don't like what you're playing, please play something else"
-- gear (gear), Tuesday, December 13, 2005 3:35 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

except when they ask you what it is you're playing and you tell them and they dance away even more giddy than before

"Jesus fuckin' Christ, my grandpa listened Led Zeppelin"

I got this cracker in a club whilst playing soul & funk, at that moment I had on some James Brown classic...

"you sound like a good DJ" (says the guy with a blonde girl wrapped around him)
"thanks"
"have you got James Blunt"
".........."
"you know, You're Beautiful"
"oh, em, em, oh, well, thanks, but I'm not gay"

love this thread, keep it at the top!

Well, James Blunt is hardly classic, but at least I prefer James Blunt to James Brown.

If only Geir had been in the club, you would all have had a rockin' good time!

friend and i djing, girl comes up and asks my friend if she can play the stone roses. only possible response = to say nothing, but turn a gaze of immense contempt and pity on her, and hold it until she withers into dust. or turns tail and scurries away, whatever.

someone once asked me to play "some rock, not all of this r&b crap", i told them i couldn't help their shit taste in music, and after they'd hassled me twice i got the bouncers to throw them out of the club :)

I think I've mentioned it in a similar thread, but once I was DJing at a student party, and I was playing some breakbeat stuff, and a girl came to talk to me:

Her: "Do you have something we can dance to?"
Me: "I think this is dance music what I'm playing right now."
Her: "Yeah, but something more commercial!"
Me: "Er... More commercial?"
Her: "Yeah, I study business."
Me: "Well, that's your problem then."

That's so weird, "I study business, can you play something that matches my demographic".

Last night some dude asked me to play Kaskada, worst request ever. I just ignored him. Then some guy who asked for Klaxons or Daft Punk. I think usually these requests just make me want to play crazier techno even though if I was playing at home for my own amusement or doing my radio show I almost always play quite deep housey stuff.

I just sometimes like to try and obliterate all requests with a vast wave of unhinged techno.

And in fairness to Mr Daft Punk/Klaxons, afterwards he came up and said he really enjoyed the set and asked when would I be playing again. So you see, you can change them!

If only Geir had been in the club, you would all have had a rockin' good time!

My DJ set would have consisted of 80s synthpop/new romantics, 80s Europop and 80s Italo Disco. The only dance music worth listening to. :)

friend and i djing, girl comes up and asks my friend if she can play the stone roses. only possible response = to say nothing, but turn a gaze of immense contempt and pity on her, and hold it until she withers into dust. or turns tail and scurries away, whatever.

gaze of immense pity that she was listening to your set

Used at a recent wedding (which I Dj'd as a gift to my friend the groom):
"Does the horse jockey let you ride the horse?"

That could be an answer to the puzzling requests of people no one has ever seen or heard before, politely asking mid-set to DJ themselves for a while. Never ceases to amaze. Maybe there's some sort of legend that you can spontaneously break into the business this way *shrug*

this bitch came up to me at a party in may and said, "could you play something we could dance to?" meanwhile, i'm playing black devil, going into more house stuff. so i say, "uh, this is dance music." she looks around, turns to me again, and says, "but no one's dancing." i look up and see people dancing, just not her group of friends. "uh, there are people dancing." "yeah, but could you play something we could dance to, yknow, something that isn't like hipster music?" after that strawman, i just went back to my computer and ignored everything else she said.

13. I can't believe you are speaking to me when I deign to DJ for you blah blah blah PS all the music you like is crap.

this bitch came up to me at a party in may and said, "could you play something we could dance to?" meanwhile, i'm playing black devil, going into more house stuff. so i say, "uh, this is dance music." she looks around, turns to me again, and says, "but no one's dancing." i look up and see people dancing, just not her group of friends. "uh, there are people dancing." "yeah, but could you play something we could dance to, yknow, something that isn't like hipster music?" after that strawman, i just went back to my computer and ignored everything else she said.

-- the table is the table, Saturday, July 14, 2007 1:02 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

you do sound like a BIT of a dick here.

no but people do say stupid things. I've been asked for "something funky" when I've been playing Funk, "something to dance to" when playing Disco and people are dancing... etc etc Can't beat a good request though

Nah, I'd say Table was well within his/her rights. It's not a DJ's job to please all of the people all of the time. It can't be done.

oh oberlinpaws

i've found that most djs are totally down to talk if its the right environment and yr talking to them music nerd to music nerd and not bitching about selections or being a dick in general or badgering them.

Her: "Do you have something we can dance to?"
Me: "I think this is dance music what I'm playing right now."
Her: "Yeah, but something more commercial!"
Me: "Er... More commercial?"
Her: "Yeah, I study business."

Hahah this cracks me the fuck up.

http://nobreastsnorequests.tumblr.com/

What you need is to say "Just had a request from this dude here!" and play a short burst of "Dreadlock Holiday"

that tumblr is p.funny

people who make DJ requests are the most disgusting savages in the world

http://i.imgur.com/kHy4y.jpg

freeeeeeeeeebird (prins thomas edit)

I see that guy around town alot, never knew who he was til now.

I'll make sure I point and stare next time.

WON'T BE SEEING HIM AROUND TOWN FOR A WHILE

Her: "Do you have something we can dance to?"
Me: "I think this is dance music what I'm playing right now."
Her: "Yeah, but something more commercial!"
Me: "Er... More commercial?"
Her: "Yeah, I study business."

(Whilst playing a slow jam.)

Her: Can I ask the DJ to come dance with me?
Me: Er, this is the last tune of the night, so I guess it's okay...

I ended up dating her for some time.

aw, that's adorable!

12. smile, say "ok, it's up next!", then play it next

i love doing that, even if it's not my favorite song/a different bpm/etc

Are most of these tongue in cheek? If not most of you guys are insane douches. The few times I've dj'ed if they request something similar to the style I'm doing at the moment I'll try to play it, if it's not in the style but I like it I'll see if I can cram it in a few songs later when I'm changing the mood... if I don't like it or I don't know it at all I'll smile and tell them I'm sorry. If they ask for something I hate I'll just smile and nod while staring back into the set.

I mean I get djs are not jukeboxes but let's not fool ourselves and think we're the ultimate tastemakers, I love getting requests and recommendations, helps me get an insight on the kind of people that frequent the place and maybe try to evolve the sound into a middle ground between what we both want.

I once had a guy that came up to me with his ipod and the dock cable and kept insisting that I sync it with my music. He was driving me mad, had to explain him a thousand times that I couldn't do it because I was busy and it would risk overloading the computer, clipping the sound and he just wouldn't go. I had to ask the bar manager to take him out of my face.

It's when massive sweaty drunk people start leaning against your equipment bawling "CLUB TROPICANA! WHERE IS IT?!" that I start getting hostile.

"I love getting requests and recommendations, helps me get an insight on the kind of people that frequent the place and maybe try to evolve the sound into a middle ground between what we both want."

^^^ this

When I used to DJ in student parties, I usually played the songs that people requested if I had them, or tried to play something similar. Basically my principle was that I was being paid to provide some people a fun night, and it would be kinda detrimental to that if I took an elitist stance and only played underground techno or something. I had no problem playing loads dance hits if they were tunes I myself liked too. (Thankfully I love a lot of cheesy Eurodance and handbag house.) The only thing I refused play was metal and hard rock, not just because I don't like those genres and I don't own any metal/hard rock records, but because you can't really dance to them. A couple of times I played that kind of music, when people who had brought CDs of their own requested it, but usually it meant everyone else exited the dancefloor except the couple of metal dudes who requested the song. So I refused to play the kind of music that would turn the atmosphere down for most people.

After I while I began to end my set by playing old swing tunes, other oldies such as Sinatra and Dean Martin, Finnish schlager, and all sorts of sentimental slow jams. I remembered how fun it was, back when I was a teenager, to dance the last slow jam in a teen disco with some girl you'd just met, to put your hands in her back pockets... So in these student parties, I wanted to end my sets by playing stuff you can dance to with a partner, and people really liked it! They always went bananas when they heard the first notes of Glenn Miller's "In the Mood"! And during the slow jams, you could always see some drunken couples finding each other on the dancefloor, which was cute. I think DJs should play more slow tunes, at least if they're last act of the night.

Well, speaking for myself, I wasn't the DJ I was more the...

(what do you call the people that appear in front of the DJ box, wave arms, shout into mics, that sort of thing? One of those people, anyway)

... so although I'd go into the DJ box to see what was coming up for 'vibe' reasons, I didn't have any say in the music selection.

Still, people would come up and complain that the choice of material wasn't 'rad' enough. So, they know a lot about their music, but they couldn't tell the difference between a Dj and a ...(wdycatptaifrotDbwasimtsothOothpa)

xpost ^^ nice post Tuomas. We should have a "Favourite DJ techniques/tricks" type thread.

xpost MC?

hype man?

confusingly, in Jamaican-music circles, this is called the DJ.

MC is a bit grand, ...

I dunno, "Dancer" seems to suggest I was a good dancer.

Anyway, you know.

ah, what Tuomas said brings a little of it back for sure.

It'd be Sinatra, and a fair bit of Spike Jones, around the 4am "go home people!" time.

Vibe manager and supervisor.

I was once DJing a psych night and was playing Brainticket, and some douche requested Robbie Williams. It was downstairs at a bar, though, so we had a lot of wankers. Also got asked for some Fratellis at one point. Probably while I was playing Cromagnon.

No, as I say, I was in charge of nowt, and I wasn't the only one there.

Moving on....

The Bez

Pilled-up goon.

i lolled

'This is my job. I don't knock the dick out of your mouth when you're at work.'