ASHLEE SIMPSON SINGULARLY PERSONIFIES EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD.

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Seriously, she makes Good Charlotte fronted by Beyonce Knowles seem like Killing Joke. There is simply no one worse.

She should be set on fire and her ashes sprayed over septic tank via a vulgarly lifelike prosthetic penis.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 2 July 2004 06:16 (twenty-one years ago)

BEHEAD HER, WORLD, BEHEAD HER!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 2 July 2004 06:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, Hillary Duff and her sister are worse.
Who has seen the video for that duet they do -- with the two of them frolicking in the fountain? Considering their age, there is something child porn-ish about it that makes it somewhat uncomfortable to watch.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Friday, 2 July 2004 06:25 (twenty-one years ago)

That is bad....but you do realize it's an "homage" to the Go-Go's' "Our Lips Are Sealed" (which song they butcher in video for same).

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 2 July 2004 06:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Seeing as I don't know who the fuck you're talking about, I can only conclude that things I don't are what is wrong with the world.

― Sasha (sgh), Friday, 2 July 2004 06:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't realize that it was a cover. Hmm, so the fountain scene was in the original video?

Still, there was no purpose in releasing a second Duff sister into the music world when the first one was as intolerable and talentless as she is.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Friday, 2 July 2004 06:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Hmm, so the fountain scene was in the original video?

Yep.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 2 July 2004 06:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Alex, may I ask why you even pay attention to someone such as Miss Simpson?

― oops (Oops), Friday, 2 July 2004 06:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Just saw her video .

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 2 July 2004 06:52 (twenty-one years ago)

alex you are being stupid.

― amateur!st (amateurist), Friday, 2 July 2004 07:51 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

Oh no I'm not.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 6 August 2004 02:55 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahaha best thread revival ever

― Al (sitcom), Friday, 6 August 2004 03:03 (twenty-one years ago)

let it never be said that you are not a master of the 35-day rebuttal, Alex.

― Al (sitcom), Friday, 6 August 2004 03:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Never heard of her. Or is she that one with the big knockers wot has her own telly show?

Anyway, "is she hot?" I think is the pertinent question.

― Sasha (sgh), Friday, 6 August 2004 03:06 (twenty-one years ago)

her T's are C-able.

― Al (sitcom), Friday, 6 August 2004 03:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Her music makes Avril Lavigne's sound like Diamanda Galas by comparison.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 6 August 2004 03:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I thought you liked punk, Alex.

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Friday, 6 August 2004 03:32 (twenty-one years ago)

It's time for you colon to be set on fire, C0L1n!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 6 August 2004 03:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Whenver her single comes on the radio, I think it's going to be some weird version of "Tom's Diner"

― C0L1N B3CK3TT (Colin Beckett), Friday, 6 August 2004 03:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Ashlee is vapid and disposable, MUCH LIKE THE SEX PISTOLS.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 6 August 2004 03:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I think that by 2010 the entire music industry will entirely consist of the vanity projects of people raised in show businesss and their relatives. The industry will become entirely closed off to the rest of the world and will become so inbred that by 2030, everyone will be hemophiliacs with Down's Syndrome.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 6 August 2004 04:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, wait...I think that's already happened.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 6 August 2004 04:47 (twenty-one years ago)

sorry alex, i think i was overreacting to the "let's do irreversible bodily harm to a perfectly nice if not terribly exciting teen pop sensation" meme.

― ||amateur!st|| (amateurist), Friday, 6 August 2004 05:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Gotta behead something

― Andrew Blood Thames (Andrew Thames), Friday, 6 August 2004 10:11 (twenty-one years ago)

I imagine Alex's inner life to be a lot like a GWAR show.

― adam (adam), Friday, 6 August 2004 11:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Alex, you like good music. How do you find time to learn about crap?

― Red Panda Sanskrit (ex machina), Friday, 6 August 2004 12:17 (twenty-one years ago)

ASHLEE SIMPSON SINGULARLY PERSONIFIES EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD

but what about the pretty girls?

― dleone (dleone), Friday, 6 August 2004 12:48 (twenty-one years ago)

also if AS, for all her faults, personifies everything that is wrong with the world, then the world is in better shape that i typically think. (no war, disease, ethnic cleansing, famine, etc.)

― ||amateur!st|| (amateurist), Friday, 6 August 2004 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

For or against here, this is pretty classic:

"In fifth grade, I was obsessed with Green Day and was always going to punk shows, getting in the pit and gettin' dirty."

― artdamages (artdamages), Friday, 6 August 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow:

Ashlee's unsure about the first single, but has a song she's particularly fond of called "Sucks to Be You." "It's a punk song," she said. "It has horns and everything."

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 6 August 2004 13:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Its awesome someone made a song called "Sucks to be You (Because You Aren't Exhorbitantly Wealthy Because of Your Big Sister's Knockers)"! We used to always say that in high school!

I hope she also has a song called "You Suck At Life".

― artdamages (artdamages), Friday, 6 August 2004 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Ashlee Simpson's entire existence is based on unchecked ego-gratification, manipulation of the lemming-like masses and unfounded mythology. Just like Al Qaeda.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 6 August 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

but she has a punk song, with horns and everything!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 6 August 2004 13:56 (twenty-one years ago)

http://home.uchicago.edu/~taghatta/images/lemmings.gif

― ||| (amateurist), Friday, 6 August 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

the title of this thread should have been

ASHLEE SIMPSON SINGULARLEE PERSONIFIEES EVEREETHING THAT IS etc

― g--ff (gcannon), Friday, 6 August 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I just saw 30 seconds of her video and she's not nearly as terrible as I had expected.

― Huck, Friday, 6 August 2004 14:04 (twenty-one years ago)

"So far, she's not worked with other producers or musicians, but she would love to get Dave Grohl on a track."

DAVE ARE U THERE GET THEE TO TEXAS

― common_person (common_person), Friday, 6 August 2004 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I like her album, I think, surprisingly enough. She's a really good singer. After one listen, it sounds like the best fake Courtney Love album I've ever heard -- "La La" is my favorite song so far, but that might change. (And Skye Sweetnam's album is even better, by the way -- that one will almost definitely make my top ten.)

― chuck, Friday, 6 August 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I just love how on the show they show how fake/artificial the process of this teenpop stuff is in a totally nonchalant way, as if it was the natural order of things. (Which in the pop world it is, I guess).

― Zach Ayres (Z_Ayres), Friday, 6 August 2004 14:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I heard the song once but all I can remember is her schnoz. I truly believe the schnoz is the one reason she's taking the "edgy" angle at all. She should sing about her nose. Haven't seen the show, but I can't imagine why old alt-rock torchbearers would want to even see it. Was there any doubt it would offend your sensibilities?

Since Stan Frazier produced I'm kinda curious to hear her LP. I dig my Sugar Ray.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 6 August 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey Anthony, did you know that the Gore Gore Girls have been on the road with Sugar Ray this summer?? That's so weird...

― chuck, Friday, 6 August 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

"Haven't seen the show, but I can't imagine why old alt-rock torchbearers would want to even see it. Was there any doubt it would offend your sensibilities?"

Honouring the fire requires eternal vigilance.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 6 August 2004 14:43 (twenty-one years ago)

hahaha I didn't even know Sugar Ray was going on tour! Still haven't heard the Gore Gore Girls but I'd check it out the show if I got the chance.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 6 August 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.cs.duke.edu/~anderson/travesty/gonzo.jpg

― artdamages (artdamages), Friday, 6 August 2004 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Alex, you like good music.

Thank you.

How do you find time to learn about crap?

Well, contrary to what some here would have you believe, I don't live in a hole in the ground. I'm somewhat pop-culturally-aware of things, for a cranky thirtysomethingyearold.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 6 August 2004 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

i think karma dictates that your child will grow up to be a big menudo fan.

― ||amateur!st|| (amateurist), Friday, 6 August 2004 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't believe Menudo still exist, tho'.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 6 August 2004 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

she will spend hours scouring obscure thrift stores for rare Menudo vinyl and discuss them on FutureILX.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Friday, 6 August 2004 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

HONOR THE MENUDO!

― St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Friday, 6 August 2004 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

She is such a shitty television character. In the first episode they try to set up her background and it's completely obvious they have nothing. She says something like "Well, I always wanted to be a dancer. But uh, now I want to be a singer!"

She's not nearly as funny as her sister to boot.

― David Allen (David Allen), Friday, 6 August 2004 16:13 (twenty-one years ago)

but she has a punk song, with horns and everything!

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 6 August 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

sorry, i just can't get over that quote.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 6 August 2004 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Youre right about the vanity project thing too. Her album sounds like those albums you used to be able to record in the mall to give to your friends. She would choose the "punk rock" background and just make some shit up real quick.

― David Allen (David Allen), Friday, 6 August 2004 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

i like the idea of a synthetic (i.e. all cheap casio synthesizer) "punk rock" backing track.

― ||amateur!st|| (amateurist), Friday, 6 August 2004 16:29 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm surprised it hasn't happened yet.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 6 August 2004 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

momus, are you watching?

― ||amateur!st|| (amateurist), Friday, 6 August 2004 16:36 (twenty-one years ago)

maybe if i have sex with her, she'll get better.

― peter smith (plsmith), Friday, 6 August 2004 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Hahahahaha.....

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 6 August 2004 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

It wouldn't hurt...unless she wanted it to.

― St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Friday, 6 August 2004 17:41 (twenty-one years ago)

That came out creepier than intended.

― St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Friday, 6 August 2004 17:41 (twenty-one years ago)

What I want to know is, where do they find the clowns that play in her band (or Avril's, same thing), they're like corporate produced punk rock portraits.

― Jimmy James, Saturday, 7 August 2004 00:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to be in Avril's band so hard

― Sonny A. (Keiko), Saturday, 7 August 2004 01:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I remember I used to bump into her occasionally in the pit at punk shows like Green Day. Now look at her, what a sellout!

― Joseph Pot (STINKOR™), Saturday, 7 August 2004 01:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Did she used to break her nose a lot? Is that why it's so fucked up? Happened to Owen Wilson, you know.

― Sonny A. (Keiko), Saturday, 7 August 2004 01:28 (twenty-one years ago)

"..getting in the pit and gettin' dirty."
http://arctic.bio.utk.edu/AEO/Ascension_Island_photos/images/Drill%20entry%20pit.jpg

― Joseph Pot (STINKOR™), Saturday, 7 August 2004 01:32 (twenty-one years ago)

She seemed to really like circle pits the best. And she would do the "floorpunch" to the Offspring.

― Joseph Pot (STINKOR™), Saturday, 7 August 2004 01:35 (twenty-one years ago)

What I want to know is, where do they find the clowns that play in her band (or Avril's, same thing), they're like corporate produced punk rock portraits.

-- Jimmy James (tri_ac...) (webmail), August 6th, 2004 8:57 PM. (later) (link)

they go the campus center at the berklee college of music and wave a few hundreds in the air.

― ||amateur!st|| (amateurist), Saturday, 7 August 2004 05:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Stepping away from Ashlee a bit -- a meeting of the minds.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 August 2004 05:45 (twenty-one years ago)

those are some impressive, er, minds.

― ||amateur!st|| (amateurist), Saturday, 7 August 2004 05:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Fred sleeps with that hat on, doesn't he

― Joseph Pot (STINKOR™), Saturday, 7 August 2004 06:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Ashlee is not good or bad. She is just a product of commercialism, like her sister Jessica. Covering songs and having your voice enhanced by technology does neither make you a good singer or a great artist. Ok how about singing lyrics written by others? Lame crap! MTV and the rest of the world will sell you the idea. You have the choice to accept it or reject it. If we all reject it, MTV will die like a newborn deprived of the warmth and fat of its mothers breast. Make your choice! Don't wallow like a damn pig waiting for its slaughter!

― Naysayer, Saturday, 7 August 2004 07:48 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.studiowondercabinet.com/media/pigs.jpg

― ||amateur!st|| (amateurist), Saturday, 7 August 2004 07:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, because if everyone rejects the artists pushed by MTV, there's no way they'd switch focus to a different set of artists. Nope, not at all.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Saturday, 7 August 2004 09:47 (twenty-one years ago)

The sarcasm is refreshing. We need more sarcasm! The sheer beauty would be a total shunning of MTV so that it would die no matter what focus they tried. MTV should be punished for its sins. Death seems like a fitting punishment for something so evil.

― Doom Prophet, Saturday, 7 August 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait, is Naysayer's post a joke, or just really really embarrassing? I honestly can't tell!

― chuck, Saturday, 7 August 2004 20:48 (twenty-one years ago)

oh the confounding world of Nu-ILX

― Vic (Vic), Sunday, 8 August 2004 11:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Her feet are scary and indicate she might be some sort of wraith or banshee:

http://www.mcarecords.com/MCAImageUpload/751793-Master.jpg

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Sunday, 8 August 2004 17:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I am a bit surprised she decided to share them with the class

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 8 August 2004 17:37 (twenty-one years ago)

remarkable bracelets though

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 8 August 2004 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I dunno, but I must hear her song now!

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 8 August 2004 18:10 (twenty-one years ago)

The concept of her autobiography unnerves me.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 8 August 2004 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

The concept of her autobiography unnerves me.

Oh, Bing to the fuckin' O, there, Nedrick! Her single is called "Pieces of Me" and her album is called My Autobiography. Could she possibly be any more narcissistic? Moreover, I sincerely doubt she even wrote any of that shit.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 8 August 2004 19:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Moreover, I sincerely doubt she even wrote any of that shit.

fake narcissism: Genius or Stupid?

― Zach Ayres (Z_Ayres), Sunday, 8 August 2004 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm all for the mainstream reaffirming how easy it is to commodify the superficial elements of subcultures and countercultures. I hope that eventually the hipsters will realize this and start focusing on something more substantial than fuckin' haircuts and guitar tones.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 8 August 2004 22:23 (twenty-one years ago)

something more substantial than fuckin' haircuts and guitar tones

as signifiers of credibility and artistic value. Plus it might make people realize how often mainstream acts are often equally valid.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 8 August 2004 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

btw she's really drawing attention to her nasty-ass feet with those legwarmers.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 8 August 2004 22:29 (twenty-one years ago)

actually since its been ten years since Green Day took punk to the bank and people are STILL bitching about who should be allowed to wear what shirt, it's probably a lost cause to hope folks will wake up in re: to this crap.

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 8 August 2004 22:43 (twenty-one years ago)

btw she's really drawing attention to her nasty-ass feet with those legwarmers.

Yuck, I wouldn't have noticed that if you hadn't mentioned it. Those look like granny feet.

― Barry Bruner (Barry Bruner), Sunday, 8 August 2004 22:49 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm indifferent to ms. ashlee simpson, but legwarmers are hot.

― ||amateur!st|| (amateurist), Monday, 9 August 2004 01:41 (twenty-one years ago)

That's the point, legwarmers make your legs hot. I think they should of digitally retouched those crazy feets out of the picture. Oh yeah, that pigs picture pwnz!

― Naysayer, Monday, 9 August 2004 01:46 (twenty-one years ago)

i dont like the one song of simpson's that i have heard but sarah vaughan didnt sing her own songs so lets at least do better with our bashing thanks.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Monday, 9 August 2004 01:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Exactly, the author's been dead for decades now. I really think it's time to get over that aspect of "criticism." I haven't really heard her music yet, but I'll bet it's catchy and is polished to an amazing sheen.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 9 August 2004 01:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Sarah Vaughan was from a different era, before media super over hyped artists with little talent to make them appear better than they are and hence sell lots of stuff.

Ashlee Simpson still suxors in my book, but the girl tweenies (10-15 year olds)seem to love her so she can't be all bad.

― Smarterthanjoo, Monday, 9 August 2004 02:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Also, she was pretty heavily involved in the writing process of her songs if her MTV show has even a nugget of truth to it.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 9 August 2004 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

"heavily involved" meaning "interjecting random thoughts about how boys are confusing while a songwriter comes up with a tune and plays his/her guitar and sings about being a teenage girl so she can parrot it," sure

― mike h. (mike h.), Monday, 9 August 2004 13:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Hence "pretty".

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 9 August 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

>Sarah Vaughan was from a different era, before media super over hyped artists with little talent to make them appear better than they are and hence sell lots of stuff. <

Probably not true; there were many popular artists with no talent in Sarah Vaughan's day, too. I'm sure. (Not that I give a shit about Sarah Vaughan. Hell, I might not even give a shit about "talent," whatever that is. But I do give a shit about good records. Including Ashlee's album. And I give a shit about Elvis Presley and the Shangri-Las and the Supremes, none of whom wrote many of their own songs, either. So yeah, I'm still amazed when otherwise apparently intelligent people act like that matters AT ALL, or like it ever did.)

― chuck, Monday, 9 August 2004 13:53 (twenty-one years ago)

CHUCK OTM. Yet another reason why punk is evil is this fucking idiotic attitude that writing a song makes you a god.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 9 August 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

My own personal standard for the glory of interpretation has been Marc Almond -- but at the same time, he works in covers first and foremost as opposed to songs written for him to sing, so it's a different case there.

My own frustration is when someone who is alleged to be a pop genius in terms of writing and production isn't more often than not, or else is celebrated for something that I don't think is anywhere near as good as other stuff, whether for another artist or the same one (thus my feelings on Max Martin -- "Baby One More Time" nowhere NEAR as good as "Oops I Did It Again," and I think as Kate once noted the reason is just because of the bassline).

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 9 August 2004 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Though, to be fair, Alex's point may have been that it's kinda weird for Ashlee to title her album *Autobiography* IF she didn't write any of her songs. Which it is, kinda. (Though whether she wrote them or not still has no bearing on how GOOD the album is. If it's good, it's good, and if it's bad, it's bad. Whether she wrote them or not.)

― chuck, Monday, 9 August 2004 14:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I object to the legwarmers and the feet, but her single is fine (I have not heard the album).

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Monday, 9 August 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

dylan's self-portrait largely comprised covers and traditional tunes.

dan ned et al: this argument comes around every now and then, but really is there any regular poster (as opposed to googlers) on ILM who subscribes to the must-write-own-material notion (except *maybe* alex on a particularly angry day)? i think we're almost 100% in consensus on that point.

dan: i don't really think said notion came from punk, although i guess punk has had a lot to do with perpetuating it.

― |||| (amateurist), Monday, 9 August 2004 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm sure many granola-eating hippies believed it before punks did..."Autobiography" (the title track, and first song on Ashlee's album) is really good, though, by the way. ("La La" is GREAT, period. I hope those both become hits.) Overall, this sounds to me like a better Courtney Love album than Courtney's album (which I like).

― chuck, Monday, 9 August 2004 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

i think we're almost 100% in consensus on that point.

I'd agree, I think this was more just general venting beyond ILX folks.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 9 August 2004 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, it was. I also blame punk for elevating DIY to godhead status (largely because most of the music I like is more influenced by punk than folk, therefore I have to deal with punk more often).

*shakes fist at punk*

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 9 August 2004 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

ps) I think my third favorite (or maybe second favorite) song on Ashlee's album is the final track, "Undiscovered." Though that could change.

― chuck, Monday, 9 August 2004 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

This is my point. I don't care that she didn't write the crap she sings (neither did Kiss, half the time), but it's the SELF-REFERENTIAL TITLES that make it such a farce. Also, what is she, 16 years old? That's going to be a damn short autobiography (written by a bunch of jaded 30-somethings trying to assume the mind of a niche demographic).

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 9 August 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

why is it so hard to imagine her writers crafting songs that they imagined (w/input from ashlee) fit her life, or the public version thereof? i don't see anything wrong in that.

and dan, i think the whole "god, they don't even write their own songs" thing can be blamed on the beatles.

― |||| (amateurist), Monday, 9 August 2004 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

whatever, i guess i'm having the same argument with alex in nyc that i've had 18,000 times.

― |||| (amateurist), Monday, 9 August 2004 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

>jaded 30-somethings trying to assume the mind of a niche demographic). <

Sort of like Chuck Berry?

― chuck, Monday, 9 August 2004 17:25 (twenty-one years ago)

She's 19, Alex, and most of the album seems to be about how much she hates Jessica.

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 9 August 2004 17:26 (twenty-one years ago)

and dan, i think the whole "god, they don't even write their own songs" thing can be blamed on the beatles.

Which is amusing given all the covers they did early on, etc. etc.

To my mind, the example I see among my generation more than the Beatles is Duran Duran. I've heard the "they were a boyband but they actually did their own songs!" argument more than once from friends my age, and these are people who are actually extremely pop-friendly in their listening habits to this day, so it's not rockism as such.

most of the album seems to be about how much she hates Jessica

Does anybody like her? I have yet to meet anyone who seems to be an actual fan.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 9 August 2004 17:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Of Jessica or Ashlee, Ned? If Ashlee, see above. (If Jessica, well, I kinda do like that song about her wearing nothing but a T-shirt.)

― chuck, Monday, 9 August 2004 17:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Jessica.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 9 August 2004 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I also liked the one she did a couple years ago where she sampled John Cougar's "Jack and Diane"! Which I believe means she has more songs I like than every Elephant 6 band put together. Though I doubt that makes me a "fan", per se.

― chuck, Monday, 9 August 2004 17:37 (twenty-one years ago)

chuck, please try complimenting a pop singer without denigrating an indie band for a change!

― |a|m|t|r|s|t| (amateurist), Monday, 9 August 2004 17:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I've done A w/o doing B thousands of times, obviously, am't'st. But denigrating indie bands is fun, when they deserve it. And anyway, I wanted to explain my math. So request denied.

― chuck, Monday, 9 August 2004 17:42 (twenty-one years ago)

(Besides, upthread I compliment Ashlee and Courtney both, plenty.)

― chuck, Monday, 9 August 2004 17:44 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, it just felt (more than) a little gratuitous. no biggee.

― |a|m|t|r|s|t| (amateurist), Monday, 9 August 2004 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Does anybody like her? I have yet to meet anyone who seems to be an actual fan

I recall Tom E. giving her singles some glowing reviews. I kind of liked "Irresistable" but everything else by her seems pretty awful.

― Leon Czolgosz (Nicole), Monday, 9 August 2004 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Ashleee Simpson in "Irreversible II"

― sexyDancer, Monday, 9 August 2004 18:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i know that most of us on a good day arent purists when it comes to singing and songwriting put together but i still felt like saying what i had to say i guess. i would be interested to see the writing credits on the album, if only to know how (in)appropriate the album title is.

lastly there was no halcyon era. sarah vaughan recorded over orchestral arrangments of dubious quality. the supremes had to learn how to dance while consultants chose their wardrobe. there were just as many "poseurs" at the Factory as there were at Luxx. Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five had to be enticed to record "The Message". incidentally, after knowing all of this, and hearing more of simpson's music, i still feel the same as Alex ;-) there is something unsettling about people believeing their own hype, about the erasing of the boundary between marketing platitudes and human identity... at least i think maybe brtiney might "get it" on some level.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Monday, 9 August 2004 18:27 (twenty-one years ago)

>there is something unsettling about people believeing their own hype, about the erasing of the boundary between marketing platitudes and human identity... <

And this is something you can deduce from Ashlee's music?? (Or did I misunderstand?) 'Cause if so, I sure don't know what song you heard it in. (i.e., How does "getting it" or "not getting it" {assuming there's anything to get} make her or Britney's music any different?)

If I'm reading the somewhat cryptic credits in the CD booklet correctly, it looks like Ashlee gets co-writing credits (with a whole gaggle of other people) for all the songs. Also, wow, Mellencamp's great drummer Kenny Aranoff, plays on three tracks; I wonder if *American Fool* was big in the Simpson household growing up, or what?? And Robbie Nevil gets one co-writing credit. So: c'est la vie.

― chuck, Monday, 9 August 2004 18:48 (twenty-one years ago)

nd most of the album seems to be about how much she hates Jessica.

Well, I'm all for that, but she still sucks a giant tube of rancid bean paste.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

i think i wasnt clear actually its my fault. im not especially a fan of her or her music. i generally dont like the style of music she plays, regardless of the player. but i do get a sense from snippets of TV that there is just something weird... i tried to explain above but i really am not familiar enough with her OR techniques of psychoanalysis to really know what i am talking about.

― Aaron Grossman (aajjgg), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

And Robbie Nevil gets one co-writing credit. So: c'est la vie.

Oh Chuck, what's it to ya?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 9 August 2004 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

the author's been dead for decades now

Corpse pop?

― Mr. Tony Plow (Leee), Monday, 9 August 2004 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

dude she fucking sucks no matter what. what a boring bunch of songs. god you older men music crits are sick and weird.

― Sir Chaki McBeer III (chaki), Monday, 9 August 2004 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

cue Seventh Heaven theme song

― Joseph Pot (STINKOR™), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 00:25 (twenty-one years ago)

i love chaki so much right now.

― maura (maura), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 00:27 (twenty-one years ago)

(also, i still stand by my assertion that AS looks like randal from clerks in drag)

― maura (maura), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 00:28 (twenty-one years ago)

(NOT THAT IT HAS ANY REFLECTION ON HER MUSIC obv)

― maura (maura), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 00:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Maura, supahgenius.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 00:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Tony Loves Chaki too

― CeCe Peniston (Anthony Miccio), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 00:32 (twenty-one years ago)

(oh man maybe her next cover will be a duet of 'you look at me' -- you know, the 'joanie loves chachi' theme song -- with her sort of bf, what with the elevator-music songwriters of the '80s being the tin pan alley of the present day and all)

― maura (maura), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 00:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't believe you know what the "Joanie Loves Chachi" theme song is called

― wetmink (wetmink), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 00:44 (twenty-one years ago)

it's only repeated like 10x during the 60 second under-credit snippet!

― maura (maura), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 00:46 (twenty-one years ago)

But has it been on TV since like 1985? Or do you own the DVD or something?

No offense, I'm just surprised anyone knows that. I guess it's ILM, so someone knows every song that's ever existed.

― wetmink (wetmink), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 00:49 (twenty-one years ago)

i kind of have every song i heard between ages eight and 10 committed to memory. why i don't know. i also am like this with license plates.

― maura (maura), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 01:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah, so you're THAT Maura. From the I Love License Plates board.

― wetmink (wetmink), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 01:11 (twenty-one years ago)

she's hideous, talentless, charismaless, brainless, and SHE STOLE BEA ARTHURS FEET!!!!

the simpson family has no shame.

― jess, Tuesday, 10 August 2004 01:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I like the episode of the Ashlee show when she's driving in her jeep and crying into her cell phone to her mom about how the label wants her record to be less rock/more pop.

Pieces of Me is a real good song. The Simpson family is significantly creepy though. They kind of exist to be the object of America's simultaneous envy and contempt. But I guess you could say the same for most celebrities.

― herbert hebert (herbert hebert), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 02:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude people actually care about Ashlee Simpson?!?! I give up. Jessica Simpson is kind of hideous in real life, not that it matters, I mean Jarvis Cocker's looking pretty goddamn awful nowadays but I'd still buy any ol' crap he's on but damn. Her covers of Take My Breath Away and Angels are like stealing a tiny little piece of my soul every time I see that they exist on MTV. Ashlee Simpson I know nothing about other than she seems to be on tv but I didn't know anyone actually listened to her music. Sort of like Jessica I guess.

― Allyzay Science Explosion (allyzay), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 02:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Isn't "Pieces of Me" just a rip of Suzanne Vega?

― philip sherburne (philip sherburne), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 02:28 (twenty-one years ago)

i have never heard ashlee simpson nor seen her in motion. i only have this picture above. i sort of have a spot of sympathy for somebody named ashlee with two "e"s.

― |a|m|t|r|s|t| (amateurist), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 02:44 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.paramount.com/television/7th-heaven/_content/7th-heaven-main_a.jpg

― Joseph Pot (STINKOR™), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 02:57 (twenty-one years ago)

7th Heaven is mega-creepy. And I even like creepy family dramas. I own the 1st season of Once & Again on dvd. But that show is satanic.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 03:01 (twenty-one years ago)

the 7th heaven parents KNEW there daughter had a drug problem because she maxed out her credit cards and had to get a PART TIME job to stay afloat. Not creepy just retarded. I'm glad she didn't end up on the streets like kelly from 90210.

― cs appleby (cs appleby), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 03:45 (twenty-one years ago)

back to ashlee....

― cs appleby (cs appleby), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 03:46 (twenty-one years ago)

her feet really do look like a tree trunk before it goes underground.

― cs appleby (cs appleby), Tuesday, 10 August 2004 03:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Chuck, I'm with you. "Autobiography" is great! Although I find "La La" a bit too...something...for me to connect with.

― Sam Benson (Sam Benson), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 05:32 (twenty-one years ago)

The album is actually fairly enjoyable. I'm surprised at the backlash, as if she were the first media created pop star...

― dean? (deangulberry), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 05:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Just listened to "La La" again and I changed my tune. She's got a great voice.

― Sam Benson (Sam Benson), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 05:42 (twenty-one years ago)

i enjoy the fact that ashlee simpson is where ILM finally draws the line on liking crappy pop music!

to be contrary, that pieces of me song is evily catchy and I can't hear it without it being in my head for an hour. but I'm OCD so should be disregarded.

― kyle (akmonday), Wednesday, 11 August 2004 05:46 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

Where's Alex in NYC when we need him?

You've got to admit it: Ashlee Simpson is a survivor. In 2004, when she was caught lip-synching on a disastrous Saturday Night Live appearance, all but her most ardent fans had considered her career to be at the start of a sharp decline. But now, Simpson has bounced back with a well-received second album, entitled I Am Me, and is currently wrapping up a successful tour.

For her next release, Simpson may be taking a cue from pop music peer Mandy Moore, who released an album comprised entirely of covers in 2003, called Coverage. Moore's album included renditions of songs by a diverse array of artists, from Elton John and Cat Stevens, to pop rockers XTC and new wave legend Blondie.

Simpson's album, tentatively titled Cover Girl, will similarly cover a wide range of the pop-rock spectrum, including versions of popular songs like "Gypsy" by Fleetwood Mac and "Brown Eyed Girl" by Van Morrison, alongside lesser-known tracks like "I Believe" by the British punk band the Buzzcocks and "When My Boy Walks Down the Street" by the NYC group the Magnetic Fields.

"This is a big step for me, this record," Simpson said at a press junket in Chicago last Wednesday. "I continue to want to bring challenges not just to myself but to all of you who continue to support as well as inspire me with your enthusiasm and love for great music."

Cover Girl is scheduled for an October release on Geffen Records.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 15:37 (twenty years ago)

hey this is like when ASH covered the buzzcocks.

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 15:46 (twenty years ago)

i saw ashlee at the cat and fiddle bar in l.a. a few weeks ago.

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 15:48 (twenty years ago)

i saw in some tabloid she got a nose job!

― -+-+-+++- (ooo), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 15:50 (twenty years ago)

now that you mention it her nose did look a little fucked up!

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 15:52 (twenty years ago)

hey this is like when ASH covered the buzzcocks.

haha but even ashlee simpson can sing better than whatshisname in ash!

i only recently found out about her blonde hair, i am woefully behind :(

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 15:54 (twenty years ago)

http://home.cinci.rr.com/justamerican/images/Siren_animated.gif http://home.cinci.rr.com/justamerican/images/Siren_animated.gif

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 15:56 (twenty years ago)

there is no punk in this world anymore.

― p@reene (Pareene), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 15:58 (twenty years ago)

bwahahaha

― Eppy (Eppy), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 16:03 (twenty years ago)

Now, I'm sorry, but what the FUCK??!!?!? Ashlee Simpson covering the BUZZCOCKS? AND the MAGNETID FIELDS? Honest, kids... the world IS ending. Satan MUST be in our midst. It was one thing when it was Mandy Moore. Mandy Moore actually HAS some taste, and what's more, some CLASS. And even some talent, if you're able to get past the teeny-bopper bubble-gum poppy sound of her songs. And just think of the HORRIBLE exposure this will give to Stephin Merritt. The Magnetic Fields have already become slightly tainted as they've become kind of a trend among poser assholes, but now he potentially will also have a following of Ashlee Simpson fans.

― Eppy (Eppy), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 16:05 (twenty years ago)

She should cover "Sister, I'm A Poet"

― Zwan (miccio), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 16:09 (twenty years ago)

It's a bummer about the nose job, her funny beak was the best thing about her.

― shookout (shookout), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 16:09 (twenty years ago)

That would be great!

I miss Alex in NYC.

― The Mercury Krueger (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 16:10 (twenty years ago)

I READ ZOILUS TOO

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 16:13 (twenty years ago)

Fuckin Canada-hugger.

― Eppy (Eppy), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 16:28 (twenty years ago)

Haha, I was got back from Canada yesterday.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 16:39 (twenty years ago)

Uh, I mean JUST got back.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 16:40 (twenty years ago)

jaymc, is that from cnn?

― JW (ex machina), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 16:46 (twenty years ago)

i thought singers refrained from nosejobs? i recall its something about how the shape of their nasal passages informs the sound of their voice, etc. of course, with ashlee this could be a vast improvement.

― mts (theoreticalgirl), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 16:47 (twenty years ago)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v719/gofugyourself/GFY112005/57325177.jpg

― horrified, Wednesday, 3 May 2006 16:59 (twenty years ago)

Jon, it's from Billboard.

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 17:00 (twenty years ago)

I love how Alex now works for the people responsible for this hellspawn.

― jinx hijinks (sanskrit), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 17:22 (twenty years ago)

he works for the voice?

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 17:25 (twenty years ago)

Those bands suck anyhow. Who cares.

― accountsettings (account), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 17:29 (twenty years ago)

MTV, no?

x-post

― Chairman Doinel (Charles McCain), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 17:30 (twenty years ago)

an album comprised entirely of covers

I bet it will be "punk"...with "horns and everything".

― Edward Bax (EdBax), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 20:56 (twenty years ago)

the buzzcocks are pretty good. the magnetic fields are pretty fucking terrible, at least they are now.

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 21:03 (twenty years ago)

but where does alex stand on ashlee vs scout niblett?

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 21:05 (twenty years ago)

"She should be set on fire and her ashes sprayed over septic tank via a vulgarly lifelike prosthetic penis."

"I find it so detestable that it makes me want to cease all human life on this planet."

ashlee makes him want to kill her, scout niblett makes him want to kill everyone

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 21:07 (twenty years ago)

You've got to admit it: Ashlee Simpson is a survivor.
You've got to admit it: Ashlee Simpson is a survivor.
You've got to admit it: Ashlee Simpson is a survivor.
You've got to admit it: Ashlee Simpson is a survivor.
You've got to admit it: Ashlee Simpson is a survivor.
You've got to admit it: Ashlee Simpson is a survivor.

― NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 21:07 (twenty years ago)

The next time I fix a problem at work, I think I'm going to write myself some self-congratulating emails in the style of that article.

― NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 21:08 (twenty years ago)

I can't wait for Lily Allen's big comeback in the winter of 2007.

― NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 21:09 (twenty years ago)

admit it:
http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drf800/f865/f86597a339a.jpg

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 21:12 (twenty years ago)

popular songs like "Gypsy" by Fleetwood Mac and "Brown Eyed Girl" by Van Morrison, alongside lesser-known tracks like "I Believe" by the British punk band the Buzzcocks and "When My Boy Walks Down the Street" by the NYC group the Magnetic Fields.

egad, is this true? if so, i am so looking forward to this. i like how OPPOSITE some of those songs are. what well-informed music geek, in a million years, would even think of doing "brown eyed girl" and "i believe" in the same session? it makes no sense. but to ashlee, or to whoever picked these songs, they're just random songs on an ipod, and they probably don't come from any particular traditions at all except they're all, ya know, old, from the '60s or the '70s or the late '90s or whatever. ashlee doing "when my boy walks down the street" could be disastrous or great, i'm dying to hear which it is. ashlee singing "THERE.IS.NO.LOVE.IN.THIS.WORLD.ANYMORE" over and over for four minutes straight ... this is the kind of thing i live for.

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Thursday, 4 May 2006 05:00 (twenty years ago)

i hadn't heard about this when it first went around, so i thought i'd share the joy.

ashlee simpson drunk at mcdonald's
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFMht18fmLA

― jaime, Thursday, 4 May 2006 05:07 (twenty years ago)

Will she keep in that line about believing in the Final Solution on "I Believe"? Of course she will! Nazi chic is no doubt the theme of Ashlee's next album of original material, which will take on a very industrial sound and will feature a neo-futurism album cover.

After all, can you get any more punk than totalitarianism and concentration camps? Me doubts it!

― Cunga (Cunga), Thursday, 4 May 2006 05:13 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

dude she fucking sucks no matter what. what a boring bunch of songs. god you older men music crits are sick and weird.
-- Sir Chaki McBeer III (chaki), Monday, August 9, 2004 3:13 PM (3 years ago)

: )

― gershy, Monday, 10 September 2007 04:38 (eighteen years ago)

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