Honestly criticize your favorite bands / artists

David Gedge sounds like Kermit.

(sorry - best i can do.)

when oneida is at their best (90% of the time, mind you), the music is near-perfect. engaging, energetic, repetitive, and LOUD rock music. when the songcraft isnt there, sometimes im afraid im just listening to "funky-acid-groove music", and i experience a little bit of former-jam-band-fan guilt.

The Fall's rhythm section gets away with a lot.

Drive By Truckers overdo it with the liberal stuff, almost as if they want more than anything to prove that despite being Southern, they really HATE prejudice and all that, making for some rather hamfisted lyrics

Danzig has never been truly 'aware' of his own audience, and is more than slightly 'out of touch,' and that is why he hasn't made a good record since 1992

Royal Trux? Shiiiiit. Well, I guess they could have recorded more cover songs.

The Dead C don't utilize Michael Morely nearly enough as a 'frontman' - this whole 'freenoise' thing disturbs me greatly.

Wolf Eyes flood the market.

A lot of Hank Williams songs sound exactly the same. Sometimes I'll be singing "Lost Highway" and then I'll go right into the chorus of "How Can You Refuse Him Now?" by accident

Spiritualized -- Pure Phase. The twelfth track, "Pure Phase", perfectly embodies this album. A whirring, humming, single note (G) fades back and forth, from speaker to speaker, for six and a half minutes. Jason Pierce likened it to the sound of a violin section tuning up -- a single, pure, sustained note to relax and lose yourself in. If indeed you find yourself lost in such a listening experience, then "Pure Phase" may be for you.

Otherwise, this album can try your patience like no other. "Pure Phase", that everlasting G, never really goes away, as it is featured at various levels in the mix throughout most of the album. Thus, the entire album is in a single key, casting a blanket of sameness over all of the material. The usual concept of "songs", with verses, bridges and choruses, is flippantly tossed aside. With a few exceptions ("These Blues" and "Lay Back in the Sun" are two of them) everything is a sequence of instrumental one note mantras (e.g. "Electric Mainline), and semi-stoned warbling over wibbly guitar feedback (e.g. "Slide Song"). Jason seems to disappear over long, vocal-less sections of the album, vanishing into a swath of droning, purring notes, while the listener is left behind wondering and waiting if the droning will ever stop and if something will actually happen on this album. "Spread Your Wings" is a fine example of the kind of orchestral arrangements that would be further perfected on the next two Spiritualized albums, but it is the sole example of it's kind here, in the presence of "balladry" such as "Take Good Care of It", which contains one sustained chord, Jason's voice buried beneath a mile of gauze, and very little else.

It's not difficult to understand why Spiritualized had to wait until "Ladies and Gentlemen We are Floating In Space" to make their critical and commercial breakthrough.

sometimes, when you make music, its fun to release it!

Brian Wilson should not be encouraged to make new music.

also, i think all of my complaints make me feel too conservative. maybe im just feeling like a crusty bastard today though.

Pinback needs a new song template.

Robert Pollard needs a goddamn editor.

The Beach Boys should have never allowed Mike Love in the band. (I don't care what he added to Good Vibrations or Wouldn't it be Nice).

Built to Spill need to quit jamming on stage.

Black Sabbath were occasionally more self-righteous than heavy drug users probably should be

Saint Etienne needs to release more albums and fewer compilations! Also, their early album covers aren't so good.

The Handsome Family sometimes drifts a little too close to cliched murder ballads (usually saved by Rennie's remarkable lyrics and the deceptively simple arrangements).

Underworld - Love them, but the last two albums had one or two interchangeable, anonymous-sounding tracks that sounded like filler to me.

I find this one to be the saddest.

Pixies - Bossanova has a bit too many less-than-memorable songs on it, moreso than the other albums. Pixies albums in general also seem to start off rather untouchably for the first 8-10 tracks but start to peter out after that. Kim Deal was underused on their last two albums.

Aphex Twin - dude's just being lazy at this point. a bit too much goofiness on later records.

Nirvana - i love nirvana but the "st. kurt" crap impedes enjoyment of them as what they were: just a great pop-rock band.

Nine Inch Nails - T-rez is a fucking genius as producer/programmer/ sound designer (and occasionally song writer) but his lyrics have never been the best. Plus they suffer from a terminally adolescent worldview. Though that's not always a bad thing. But most of all, finish the damn album, "perfectionist"!

Meshuggah - Vocals are a tad generic and have always been the weak link for that band.

My Bloody Valentine - What Ned said upthread.

Metallica - Needs no explanation really.

Black Flag - Sort of got lost in a thick haze of the wacky tobbacky on the later albums. Plus Henry Rollins post-damaged.

Minor Threat - Despite the rather dubious legacy of Straight Edge (which is still afucking great song), i've got nothing much negative to say.

Slayer - Geat band but prolly not the brightest bulbs in person.

Sonic Youth - Have been really hit-or-miss for more than a decade. Haven't heard Sonic Nurse yet.

Misfits - What pleasekillme upthread about Danzig, plus Jerry Only pissing all over the fucking legacy.

Hahahahaha.

K-Cob

-- Alex in NYC (vassife...), September 10th, 2004.

i think i stole that from somewhere but i don't remember where.

Patterson Hood (Drive By Truckers) has about 2 melodic tricks.

x-post

Embrace don't know how to produce themselves and need to give in to their urges to make noise more - the melody will shine through.

Orbital should have stopped as a creative (but not necessarily live) force in 1999, not 2004.

The Stone Roses only released two full albums and both of them had WAY too much filler on. They also should have made an album of spooky groove shit in 1991.

The Verve are cunts or weirdos with the exception of the drummer.

Bark Psychosis should make more than an album every ten years. But also they shouldn't.

Disco Inferno should never have lost their stuff.

Lambchop should have totally gone disco for their last album.

but i do.

?

Morrissey also has terrible pitch, and one stock melody that he's been using for over two decades. He got away with it in the Smiths because of Johnny Marr's brilliant arranging skills.

As much as I love his old records, Rakim fell the fuck off with The 18th Letter and has been phoning it in ever since. He needs to find some better beats and get re-inspired. (Not that he's done much over that last seven years.)

KRS-One is turning into a preachy, grumpy old man.

Todd Edwards makes some of the most amazing house grooves I've ever heard, but his need to foist his Christian beliefs onto everything he does gets tiresome.

Squarepusher-less wanking, more booty please.

I also truly believe that, as good as the radio edit of "Sunrise" is, the band's "reunion" efforts are purely for financial reasons and that they aren't going at it with every fiber of their being. They have become sellouts. They have orchestrated something that would be purely for the benefit of the bottom line and that saddens me, because I've seen how GOOD their music can be when they concentrate on musical evolution. I think that as good as the music for this new upcoming album will sound like, it will always sound hollow and soulless to me because of the motivations behind it and the lack of genuine feeling to the whole proceedings.

(I won't even comment about most Duran fans. Let's just say that I'm glad I'm not like them.)

Mogwai -- the last two albums sounded almost exactly the same. Just saying. Albini messed up the recording of "My Father My King". It was a good try, though. Do more remixes of other people's material.

Vainqueur -- release something new before I strangle you.

Xiu Xiu -- ... nah, too easy.

Tindersticks. Don't ever return to ripping off Stax. You are soulful without resorting to those sorts of tricks. The style of your second album is completely played, and you should never sound like that ever again.

Duane and Berry should have worn helmets.

the Dead shouldn't have stood by and let Ron drink himself to death.

haha they're coming to town in two weeks!

Sean O' Hagen should give the strings a(nother) rest and dive back into the electronic burbles and shit. Admittedly, Beet, Maize and Corn was near perfect but Buzzle Bee and Snowbug was god, he should have kept that up despite the criticism/indifference that came with it. Let em eat cake

He absolutely has. When I saw them (1998) he was ON FIRE. (Also he's in tune on _101_.)

GG Allin displayed no empathy for chronic constipation sufferers

Also, the whole 'they should get back together' thing.

Labradford - Mr. Nelson, leave off Pan American, get back with the Brown and Donne.

Lamb - get back onto the dance floor. PLEASE.

Mogwai - you look like dads.

Plaid - it's 2004. Forget about Trainer, and get new synths. In fact, take autechre's. No, I take that back -- give us real beats, fellas.

Portishead - any time this millennium.

Shakira - sing in Spanish.

Sleater-Kinney - you are too good looking, it undermines your credibility.

Tricky - you are from Bristol, not NYC.

What? No. Only "Elizabeth My Dear" and maybe "Don't Stop," but that hardly makes it filler strewn.

Ludacris needs to make albums that stand up to his guest spots.

He absolutely has. When I saw them (1998) he was ON FIRE. (Also he's in tune on _101_.)

Yup. Did vocal training lessons in the mid-nineties after the near-death incident and everything's been very grand since.

The Chameleons -- guys, I know you love and hate one another in equal measure, it seems. I know Mark B.'s personality must have some sort of downside that I've never seen in my encounters with the man. You've all known each other for twenty-five years and while I wasn't expecting the reunion to be permanent, I was still hoping for just a little bit more, because goddamn you can all still bring it live.

Dom's totally got it on XTC.

Dave Gahan seems to have a one-octave range.

I wish sonic youth would record avant-garde covers as well as songs on their LPs and not treat the two as separate.

I'd like Borbetomagus to play/invite other people to play on their records. This goes for much of free improv; like to see diff combinations of players, and the more risk of failure that comes with it.

When at their best, Radiohead are a decent pop band. Why do they want to be taken for so much more?

REM should have stayed out of politics and fashion.

Bono should be muzzled and the Edge should take on all PR duties for U2.

It's already been said, but Mike Love should have NEVER been a Beach Boy. He should also NOT be allowed to tour now as he does under the beach boy moniker.

The Super Furry Animals should have played the game a bit more instead of being so perverse. They would be massive if they had.

mingus didn't make enough recordings of himself in trio / duet / solo context, because he vaingloriously reached for grand ellingtoniana too much. his bustling compositions are pretty great and his wild n wooly aesthetic for recording them was perfect, but they haven't stood the test of time nearly as well as his plain old soloing chops.

fela - after a few years of loving his records to death, it really does start to all sound sort of the same

Sometimes Fred Frith uses kinda cheesy rock riffs - he then expands from them into great things but still. Also, sometimes the way the guitars are recorded can sound really weedy, especially on Quartets. The Tzadik stuff sounds great, of course.

All the "they haven't released enough" answers are bathetic copouts.

Hole -- Courtney's narcissism is on par with her ex's. And giving Patty Schemel the ax was a terribly stupid move. Plus, you had Melissa lip-synching Kristen's back-up vocals on the "Violet" video. Did you think fans wouldn't realize this??!

7 Year Bitch -- speed it the hell up once in a while. Their musicianship was fair at best.

Babes in Toyland -- aside from Fontanelle, there was not much to love.

Lunachicks -- easily the best of the bunch, but I would've loved to see them get heavier and let Squid and Gina have more vocals.

Mazzy Star - scientifically there must be a way of rehabilitating "We Will Fall", and someday somebody is going to find it, but not with the help of anything available over-the-counter

Oh my god

I think Belle and Sebastian try too hard sometimes to kid on that they still cling to the ideals they started with, and I'm not always convinced that they ever really meant it in the first place, and that Murdoch isn't actually sitting in his ivory tower sniggering behind his back at the pathetic twee-ery that he is peddling (in terms of outlook and attitude, not necessarily in terms of the music, which I don't find twee at all, early Stuart David songs excepted).

Yeah, and directed at me half the time!

---

yes, very true! even though i dig the noisy dead c freak-outs in a limited kind of way (i preferred their live show / russells live solo shows to most of their last few albums), its morleys 'wreck small speakers', and wonderful songs like 'all of this' and 'rain' that make me want them to be more song-structured..

Lightning Bolt dress like retards and their free noise bits are nowhere near as good as they think.

Low are Mormoms FFS.

Khanate have no sense of their own ridiculousness.

While their high points are incredible, Dinosaur Jr are more often than not boring and meandering.

Actually come to think of it, most of my favourite bands only have about 4 or 5 great songs and about 10 good songs, which is not enough to justify me buying so much of their discography.

soo soo OTM...everytime I hear his versus I'm like "Wow if this was anyone else you would just flat out say it was a shit verse"

Archers of Loaf seemed to think they were as good at being wierd and downbeat as they were being great tuff pop punk anthem writers...see the last album for the tragic results.

Flaming Lips: More country songs and less screaming Japanese women!!

The Streets: Perfect!!

The Strokes: ROOM ON FIRE HAS NO GODDAMNED MELODIES ON IT!!!

Haha, okay our tastes are so divergent that I dub you anti-Dan.

*This can mean "small green animal" or "Kermit" or "French guy" or all of the above, whatever you prefer

Britney Spears has released some really horrible singles (Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know, Not A Girl), and the next one (My Prerogagive)is looking to compete with them.

David Bowie hasn't released anything very consistent in 24 years.

Dickon Edwards is too consumed by narcissism to make Fosca into anything more than the delight of London transsexuals. And he hasn't released anything in two years.

Jarvis Cocker is now an incredibly ugly son of a bitch.

So true it makes your criticsms ring hollow.

Superchunk should have broken up after Foolish and reformed as a different band, which is what they sound like to me. It is ok to rock, especially when you don't sing that well.

The Grifters shouldn't have started making solo projects, none of them are nearly as good as what they had going together. If they would have run out the dry spell, I think people would get it now.

Bob Mould alone on an acoustic guitar is kinda boring. Bring the noise and make peace with Grant Hart, shit man it has been sixteen years.

Page and Plant need to quit shitting on John Paul Jones. To go out and do a record and a couple of tours and make a bunch of cash is fine, but to use call the record "No Quarter" and make it kind of the centerpiece of this get together is lame considering that is one tune that JP Jones definitely put together. Oh well...it is kind of par for the course, no?

-- Mr. Snrub (mistersnru...) (webmail), September 13th, 2004 6:14 PM. (Mr. Snrub) (later) (link)

that song *is* rubbish, and i really like the rapture

Also, while I'm here: Crooked Fingers, brilliant though they are, have never released an album that is not without its (more than fair) share of filler.

haha yeah well see thread title.

That Radio One cover of Take Me Out is even worse.

Wilco: you are not a kraut-rock or noise-drone or detached cool hip indie band. Bring back the hooks and the enthusiasm please!

King Crimson were over-indulgent and Fripp's solo-ing favoured technicality over feeling. (hurt to write that though)

Pink Floyd - you're boring.

Jane's Addiction - you shouldn't have got back together.

Tom Waits - can't do it. Even the most schmaltzy 70's stuff is wonderful and necessary, while the most abrasive later period clanging has its place. But yep, he should f**kin' tour.

Pavement - They were great but they could have been phenomenal if they had just given a shit. The slacker thing went out in '92.

Sonic Youth - Most of the recent albums contain no surprises or anything even resembling a new idea. They're still enjoyable but you can tell what a SY record will sound like before it even comes out.

Public Enemy - Ceased to be groundreaking about 10 minutes after Apocalypse '91 was released.

De La Soul - Consistently inconsistent.

New Order - Even on the classic records, there's always a

little

James Brown - Seems like he's a little unstable at times.

But but "Little Speaker"! Most quiet ambient things don't crescendo so rewardingly.

(hmm, "Trim" is "Bruce Lee" though, you're right)

to this comment of mine from upthread i must ammend: Also the video for "Eardrum Buzz".

2-3 years ago, this was true.

Led Zeppelin, well, I love you guys but I could go on for two hours about your faults.

Tortoise, that Ennio Morricone shit is lame, and it sounds the same everytime you do it from the first album to the most recent. Your Steve Reich rip-offs are sometimes good but they're pretty half-assed Steve Reich rip-offs.

Jay-Z if you wanted to retire at the top of your game you should have quit after The Blueprint.

Bill Evans, you played a great ballad but you never swung like Bud Powell.

I forget that there are lots of new ILMers who weren't here when Geir last graced our presence!