Stupid people saying stupid things about music you like. or Dude seriously hates his dumb-as-balls roommate and can you blame him?

And I thought I'd bitch about it and hope someone else tells a funny story.

does this make me one of the "stupid" people?

there's nothing inherently stupid about finding the Arcade Fire guy's voice horrible. He sounds like a turkey doing an Isaac Brock impersonation.

Yeah, but the perspective from which you condemn him is an informed one. If you're just some jerk with some preconceived notion of one thing being good, and all the rest bad, then you can go fuck yourself in a ham sandwich.

the nerve...

While watching American Idol after a Hispanic guy sings really poorly. My roommate: "See, people with accents shouldn't try to sing songs that were originally wrote by someone without their accent! It just doesn't work! You can't do that! He should have sung Ricky Martin." (The guy didn't have a Hispanic accent at all. This comment was based completely on his appearance.)

x-post

While watching Lost in Translation and repeatedly claiming that it is "like watching grass grow," "has no plot," and "is terrible," despite continuing to watch it: "You see, this is a really new genre -- the type of film that follows someone's regular life, like, a normal person. They only started making movies like this a couple years ago."

By the way, his "passion" is movies. He is an expert on them. Really, ask him. He is.

Me: "Uh, I think you're wrong. They've been making independent movies that are more like real life than fantastic Hollywood movies for a while."

Him: "No they haven't."

Him: "He [Chirac] is such an asshole."

See, it's times like this that I know he either has absolutely no reason to hold his said opinion, or it is completely factually incorrect. Although he is terrible to argue with, I often can't help but ask anyway.

Me: "Why?"

Him: "See, he said going into the Iraq war they had no WMD's --"

Me: "Yeah, he was right."

Him: "--but, but... all along, France was giving Iraq the instructions and capabilities to make WMD's! That's why France was opposed to the war all along, because the whole time they were helping them make nuclear weapons."

Me: "I am absolutely sure that you are wrong. I dare you to find me one credible source that says that."

Him: "No, seriously! I mean, it happened about a year ago..."

Me: "Then it should be easy for you to find a credible source backing that up. Seriously, show me one and then I'll believe you."

Him: "..."

Him: "No, no! That page is lying! It is physically impossible to be a marathon runner and be a vegetarian!"

Me: "So, all these pages are lying?"

Him: "I know what I'm talking about! I'm a runner! It is physically impossible. You can physically not do it!"

Later we found a page that cited some scientific research whose results said something along the line of "not eating meat does not hinder athletic ability."

Him: "No, he's wrong! Who is he? What are his credentials?"

Me: "You're grasping really hard here to defend yourself when you're obviously wrong."

Him: "No I'm not! I'm just asking, what are his credentials? Huh? What are they? And why is he doing this experiment?"

Ex-girlfriend reading the webpage: "He's a licensed M.D."

Him: "Then who gave him his degree? Where did he get his degree?"

Ex-girlfriend reading the webpage: "Ugh, forget this."

xpost

Him: "So, the girl was turned down and didn't get to go on to the next round. So when she was talking to the camera, she said, 'They made a mistake! I'm the next damn American Idol'. What a stupid bitch. She just cussed on national television. America doesn't want that! She is not an American Idol with an attitude like that."

You can use the paper bag between posts.

I grew up in Chapel Hill, NC. Here is my roommates thought on the area:

Him: "Most the people who go to UNC are fucking assholes. They think, 'Oh, I'm so educated and I'm so smart, so I'm going to listen to this really obscure underground music that nobody else has heard of, because I'm smarter than everybody else.'"

Me: "Well, Chapel Hill does have a big independent music community. That's where Merge Records is, the label that the Arcade Fire is signed to. I don't think people there consciously choose to listen to obscure music because they think they're smarter than anybody else. They're just music enthusiasts and like a wide variety of music."

Him: "No, they all think they're so smart, so they're going to listen to all this unknown music because they're so educated going to UNC, and better than everybody else. Everybody I know there is like that."

Me: "Well, I can't argue with you about the personalities of the maybe twenty people you know in Chapel Hill since I've never met them, but you know it's unfair and plain wrong to say the whole city is the same."

Him: "The majority of them are."

Me: "You do realize that majority means over fifty percent. You can't say fifty-one percent of UNC students think they're educated and smarter than everybody else, and that is why they want to listen to underground music and everything else isn't good enough for them."

Him: "Also, I'm not counting all the people listening to Nelly, being brainwashed into thinking they're black."

The weirdest thing about the above quote is that he likes Nelly.

I'm not even making this shit up.

http://www.lasvegas-nv.com/showpics/don-rickles.jpg

xpost, no this thread rules.

I just walked in the livingroom, and his ex-girlfriend was starting to tell this story. He interrupted and told it for her.

A couple years ago, one of his other ex-girlfriends broke up with him. He got drunk and tried to commit suicide by jumping off the balcony. He ended up in the psych ward that night.

By the way, the apartment was on the second floor. He was about fifteen feet off the ground.

"Dude seriously hates his dumb-as-balls roommate and can you blame him?"

While he's sleeping, punch him in the ribs. Dash back to your bed before he can wake up. Report your results tomorrow.

xxxpost:
Yeah, I'm looking forward to his end-of-term fabulations and rationalizations as he explains why he didn't get his stuff done or get the grades he deserved.

By the way, I showed her this thread. Maybe she'll start contributing!

He was telling me about an episode of American Idol. There was a guest judge on who I'd never heard of, so I asked him who it was.

Him: "He's a recording artist."

I just thought it was really funny that he referred to him as a 'recording artist'. People actually do that?

My roommate: "Hmm. He can sing decent, but there's an image problem."

To understand how funny that is, you have to realize that he says that exact same line at least three times every show.

Me: "In other words, the guy is Asian."

Him: "..."

Him: "Yeah."

Aznz can win merit-based music contests.

i know, massive xpost.

sorry.

As someone who has a vague sense of 1) showbusiness and 2) Rock (oh dear I said that), there is nothing wrong in having some study of American Idol, but this seperates out into category 1, whereas you are in category 2).

That's it.

!

Cher and random club mixes >>>>>>>>> Arcade Fire, dude.

and your current roommate disturbs me but he was pretty spot on about the Arcade Fire singer's voice.

This is not possible. Even my friend who purchased and listens to The Last Samurai soundtrack hated The Punisher. I haven't had terrible roommates, except for the raver guy that bought 1.5 kilos of fake opium and sold it to all the idiots on campus so when it ran out I had to listen to everyone complain about "withdrawal." Also he thought Sasha and Digweed = pinnacle of all music.

ps arcade fire sux lol

I think it's time to play your roommate Magma's Mekanik Destruktiw Kommandoh. I'd start with side 2.

Flatmate: Can't you play something we can all relate to?

(puts on a Tarantino soundtrack)

Oh come the fuck on. In almost every story people have told they've had completely ridiculous roommates.

He came out to New York with 200 dollars, ran out in a week, and since then I've paid for the rent, all his food, metro cards, path cards, concert tickets... everything. I've loaned him over $800 so far.

He made a big deal of telling all his friends via phone cals and posts on his LJ that he was coming to NYC and they all said "Wow, that takes guts! We're so proud of you!"

Except he didn't mention to a one of them that I even exist! Nope, he's doing it all by himself.

And when I came home from WORK yesterday (yeah, I work as in, make money), he had on the phone a girl I used to see and have TOLD him several times and in drunken sad rants that I still have a thing for, and he made sure to ask loudly several times about how the sex is going with her new boyfriend.

Says it all. OTM!

"Say It Ain't So"

over and over

the drum kit was above my bed.

-- teeny (teen...), January 16th, 2003.

Except for the fact that it isn't. Deriding a process designed to generate mainstream, broad-brush appeal singers form being too mainstream is kind of asinine and stupid.

He came out to New York with 200 dollars, ran out in a week, and since then I've paid for the rent, all his food, metro cards, path cards, concert tickets... everything. I've loaned him over $800 so far.

Do you want sympathy for being a chump?

I think it's time to play your roommate Magma's Mekanik Destruktiw Kommandoh. I'd start with side 2.
Why stop there? Why not go the whole hog and play him the entire 99 cent Magma box set?

they called normal budweiser "bud heavy" in her hometown.
"Bud heavy" sounds to me like something from a Burning Spear song.

I think you and I have finally found our perfect common ground.

Rentboy, no offense, but like David Allen noted, most of the roommates mentioned sound like they exist to drive people up walls regardless of their musical taste. But if you have the patience of a saint, then hey...

-- rentboy (rentboyd...), February 1st, 2005.

Well, he's still my friend. A shitty friend, but a friend.

Only if you're completely discounting the possibility of good "mainstream" music to begin with.

Which the people deriding American Idol are doing.

ah that is different. i thought this was just some random guy who like answered a roommate wanted ad or something. but even so, you're enabling. :-p

and yeah, i've not got the patience of a saint or anythign Ned, but hating your roommate because they like American Idol and bad movies and "can't appreciate the finer art like Arcade Fire" just kinda reeks of the self-righteous bullshit that goes along with self-appointed hipster-head-up-their-own-ass people. and i'd take an american idol fan any day over someone who was a part of the hip culture gestapo

(xpost What I'm really saying is that I yearn for the day that people who are even vaguely educated about singing post to ILM.)

And btw, I am fairly educated about singing -- my parents are both trained professional singers, I sang in choirs as a child, etc.

Wow, this is some thread.

It's not rockist to say that people are missing something by claiming this tv show is a way to judge musicians because it completely discounts writing music and actually, you know, playing instruments. Punishing someone because they're foolish enough to sing the song they wrote instead of farming it out is a dud.

That said, does American Idol allow pro submissions? If someone who has been doing off-Broadway productions or opera auditioned, would they let them on? That's a better comparison than this whole American Idol versus Arcade Fire thing.

American Idol is looking for reasonably versatile pop singers who can be marketed at the top 40. This style has pretty much been dileniated by the success of Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Celine Dion, Bryan McKnight and R. Kelly, so it really shouldn't be a surprise when the most successful contestants can all trace their lineages back to those singers.

Also, if American Idol is trying to instruct people on what a "good singer" is, the relative successes (in the competition) of Justin Guarini, Nikki McKibbin, Josh Gracin, Carmen Rasmussen, Jasmin Trias and Diana DiGiarmo over Tamyra Grey, RJ Helton, Vanessa Olivarez, Rickey Smith, Trenyce, George Huff, Jennifer Hudson and LaToya London would indicate that America isn't really interested in learning those "lessons".

Furthermore, interpreting a song is just as important to its performance as writing it (as season 3 found out when they tried to sing Gloria Estefan).

No, you don't want that. Canadian Idol has pulled off the seemingly impossible trick of being even MORE lame than American Idol.

On preview, Dan, that's pretty much the point I was trying to make but somehow left off. Faulting someone for singing what they wrote is dumb, but so is faulting others for not writing what they sing.

-- The Ghost of Dan Perry (djperr...), February 1st, 2005.

Wait, this is really annoying. I didn't SAY anything about them not writing their own songs. I wouldn't say that. Someone else said that, and I don't even think that's really what he was saying.

ps Interpret =/= (necessarily) add lots of trills and embellishments.

I believe the American Idol class is either offered in the music department or liberal studies.

my freshman year can be summed up as Scott Joplin vs. Pussy Galore

-- Ned Raggett (ne...) (webmail), February 1st, 2005.

Ned, OTM. When I started this thread, my goal was to present my roommate's personality and worldview as the subject, as seen through his critique of the Arcade Fire. The object of ridicule was meant to be him, not his particular critique. I realized though that I was articulating my point very poorly and decided to take the thread in a different direction.

I don't want this to be a T/S - hipsters vs people who enjoy American Idol.

Him: (laughing) "That was slightly mean!" (As I read this thread)

Me: "What?"

Him: "I was just talking to my ex-girlfriend (the one he tried to commit suicide over) and she told me that she's coming here to see a band, Strike... something. A political punk band."

Me: "Strike Anywhere?"

Him: "Yeah, that's them! She told me they're a loud, angry, political punk band. I told her that was weird, because that's not the type of person she is, and then I said, if I saw her flower ass in the street, I'd definitely run her over with a fucking tank." (He walks away laughing)

Him: "What are you watching? Ah, Communist News."

I'm pretty sure he has no idea what communism is.

* I enjoy watching the Idol audition episodes because, fabricated or not, the trainwrecks are some damn fine TV viewing. Once they pick the finalists, the whole thing gets a little too serious, and I lose interest, mainly because of the over-emphasis on vocal pytotechnics. (Someone made OTMed upthread that Kelly Clarkson works much better as a pop-rock act than an r'n'b-lite act, and I'm hoping that the show keeps that in mind once this season kicks into high gear.)

* Mickey's roommate has some pathological must-always-be-right thing happening that suggests to me that: a) there may be some psychological condition at play here, and b) I'd lay money that he grew up in an incredibly argumentative family. I've had similar situations with some ex-co-workers of mine. I find myself both amused and repulsed by people like this, as it's some weird, unscratchable itch. One side of me wants to keep the debate rolling just to hear what fucked-up logic comes next. The other wants to duct-tape that person's mouth shut and roll him or her off the back of a moving truck.

* Getting used to / coping with your roommates' taste in music / TV / movies is both a rite of passage and a losing battle. Buy some headphones, if you haven't already.

So I was at a party on a Saturday night, mostly hip-hop on the soundsystem, major hits (Big Pimpin - Ignition - Gin and Juice etc.) and its fun enough, obvious music but thats fine with me, everyone dancing, pretty thoroughly trashed, having a great time ... I'm hitting on a girl who seems a little shy but also playing coy, and we're dancing around, brushing the dirt off her shoulder, eyes meeting then looking away... and then in come the WEEZER THREE, who parade through the living room, girls OUT ON THE PROWL who ruin their own chances by spending the entire night hanging out w each other laughing at each other's jokes, yelling that the guy who's carpet we're currently stomping on should change the music to Weezer. And they've even brought their own CD.

Once they succeed in bribing the "DJ," the party is essentially splintered. People just don't dance to Weezer, because listening to Weezer at parties is about shared memories (which I don't share) for the 90s and high school and linking arms in a circle and singing the lyrics to stupid songs about sweaters. Some of us make attempts to restart the party in the other room with michael jackson, but the dancefloor quickly disintegrates into make-out city and I end up heading home in a drunken daze where I watch Roger Daltrey-hosted infomercials for Legends, a classic rock box set from Time Life.

he hasn't picked a major yet. Most semesters of college he's started to do poorly, flunked out of classes, or eventually given up, so he has very few credits despite it being his third year here.
Mickey, this sounds like your interpretation of events. To get a balanced picture, don't you think we should hear his side of the story?

And Ken L, I agree that it is only fair that he tells his own story. Don't hold your breath waiting for me to invite him to this thread, though.

xpost:
Curious G on the money about upcoming fur fly.

Actually Mickey, what I really meant was that what you wrote was merely a summary without any of the color of the other anecdotes, and I wanted to hear the long version of these events as told to you, because presumably this would be amusing. But maybe not, maybe this would backfire and we would start to feel sorry for the guy.

fox news = communist? ahahaha hello alternate/parallel reality

When he gets drunk, he is awesome. Like how every single time he watches American Idol, at least several times he'll place his chin on his hand, make a sound indicating he is in deep thought, and then declare for the nth time, "The singing is good, but there's an image problem," he has other rituals. When he's drunk, sooner or later he's wrong about something. It can be anything. He might put his drink down somewhere, forget where, and then claim that somebody moved it. Then, he gets all worked up and shouts, "I'm not fucking drunk! I'm not drunk!" and then goes on to decry that whatever trick someone is surely playing on him won't work, because he isn't drunk.

david allen: link us to his LJ?

Mickey, I don't wish to distract you from the task at hand, but maybe it's about time you read this thread.

"American Idol is looking for cruise boat singers who would like to put out a single filler-filled album. The [AI] style can pretty much been dileniated by the sound of old Star Search episodes."

-- roxymuzak (emilysu...), February 1st, 2005.

What for?

This entry in particular is a circle jerk of congradulations between his friends and him: http://www.livejournal.com/~roger_sheldon/31461.html

I'm just amused by this.

He was hired by Best Buy, but it doesnt open until March! Until then, I'm forcing him to work at this "labor-ready" place that pays him by the day for manual labor, and if not I'm telling him to kiss my ass and go home.

There's all these plays and concerts and movies I wanted to go to, but didn't because I didn't want to pay for his ticket but felt bad going without him -- but now; fuck that.

Custos OTM on the Star Search angle. Don't both shows have basically the same screening process and competition angle?

Man, I hit the "next entry" button on that livejournal link. Why did I have to do that?

In any case, David, you should totally make sure that the dude goes through the software training. Best of all, ILX can probably help him- you know, Dan Perry, Jon Williams- the whole software crew.

I'm quite honest and not trying to be mocking when I say this, but: have you been here long and have you read many of Dan's posts? You have no idea how completely you're missing the mark here, and to be frank, his posts above seemed clear enough that this type of question has already been answered.

Now back to my ginormous Kelly Clarkson album collection!

But American Idol is structured differently than Star Search (ie, Star Search didn't OWN all their competitors, material, etc.) I can see the point of studying American Idol as a social phenomenon, but expecting it to teach anyone anything about music (or expecting it to produce decent music) seems completely insane to me. It isn't about music - it's all about marketing machinery and finding some hapless peon who's happy to squeeze themselves into it.

x-post

$2100 in debt to me.

Unemployed for sixth consecutive month.

Alcoholic.

Mickey's roommate >>>>>>>>>>>> Mine.

(xpost: Oooh, you're talking about Andre, aren't you? Wasn't his band called something stupid like WYNDVAYNE?)

gosh, whatever could you be referring to... will you at least admit that American Idol subscrubes to a very very narrowly defined aesthetic criteria (ie, the lineage you laid out?) The judges, the producers, etc. don't make any bones about this, and I respect them for that. They are completely up front and open about trying to create a very specific product (whether the audience votes along those lines is another matter altogether). You can see this sometimes when the judges will admit to liking a certain aspect or style of a contestant, but pointing out that it isn't "right for the show". The thing is, the show's rhetoric functions in such a way as to imply that there is NO other barometer of quality outside of the show itself, even when Simon or Randy will occasionally imply otherwise. But anyone who argues that the American Idol process distills an essential criteria for "good" singing is obviously just as "rockist" and blinkered as someone who argues that none of the performances on Idol are ever any good because they're all "manufactured".

Custos, that's funny, because until I reread the thread I thought Dan Perry was being telepathic! I should just give up and go home today.

Just makin' jokes here, Dan. I can't be bothered learning game show contestants' names. And being dismissive is fun!

Do you have a reading comprehension problem? How did "criticizing American Idol for being successful at what it sets out to do is stupid (and also saying that that end result has no merit is flat-out wrong)" become "American Idol showcases the one true way of singing"?

(xpost: The point is that the person you're singling out didn't win!)

The very concept of this is hurting my brain.

I can't believe I remembered that.

Condescension based on demonstrable idiocy = this is a problem?

There's no real point in repeating that whether you find American Idol repellant or not is deeply intertwined in whether you like the end result of the process but I'm going to do it anyway.

Well okay maybe you just come off as being very slow or stoned all the time. But having these arguments with the guy and then going to the lengths of searching the web to prove him wrong. I mean it doesn't exactly speak to your intelligence either, ya know.

That's debatable.

http://www.fullmoonsales.com/ProductImages/dvd_images/big_justinkelly.jpg
http://www.spiceradio.com/justincdcvr.jpg

hahaha. Best remark in this thread.

(x-post)

Do you? My point was that by your own definition American Idol is incredibly narrow, and as such inherently market-(and marketing)driven, and my take on it reflects THAT, not any of your stupid "label that fucker a ROCKIST" bullshit presumptions.

Rinse and repeat.

x-post

Against my better judgement, I will ask the following:

How does the inherent process of "American Idol" keep it from producing good performers?

Star Search was totally better, and American Idol will never produce anybody on a par with Usher.

I agree with the judges' opinions more often than I disagree with them so it's difficult to say they aren't worth shit.

The "pointless" genre-hopping is supposed to showcase versatility and the ability to interpret and one thing that you can say about all three winners is that they can interpret the hell out of anything.

I completely agree about the age limit and story arcs.

I would say that Kelly is well on her way to being on par with Usher with a wider palette of material (keeping in mind that Usher has a 5-year head start on her and is also a dancer).

Oh, for the days of Sawyer Brown.

I don't get why searching the web to prove the guy wrong is a bad thing. At worst it seems maybe juvenile, but I don't see how it says anything about his intelligence.

Season 1 was the first season, and it was of course the weakest. They were pulling from a thin pool, and the age limit was still low. So, in my opinion, it's a miracle that they managed to find people as solid as Kelly Clarkson and Tamyra Gray. I doubt that either of them would win in a competition with the better singers from the recent competitions.... Justin would stand little chance against Clay Aiken, for instance.

The true tragedy of the show is the way that the voting works. A performer can be first one week and last the next -- not because of performance, but simply because the audience autocorrects. They notice that their favorite is in last place, and they overvote the following week. Or they vote for someone they're worried might get cut instead of the artist they think is the best, and the person who is the best winds up not getting enough support. At some point, I think the audience should stop having complete control and should be relegated to only a share of the vote to avoid such inconsistencies.

Polyphonic, why do you hate democracy?

xpost

All this discussion about AI and pigeonholing into certain styles or whatever has somehow ignored the simple fact that American Idol is a TV SHOW, first and foremost. Any money that the winners could make from their musical careers is likely drarfed by the motherload of cash that Fox makes by airing this show and entertaining its extremely devoted viewing audience.

Hahaha stop now.

My state elected Arnold Schwarzenegger as governor.

/shaaaame

BTW, a guy I know was on Idol once. His name is Paul Anh. He rapped in Korean. The judges did not enjoy it.

My roommate: "LL will pass her through because she's thick. You know how black guys love fatty girls."

(yay for being from Charlotte)

The LL quote is classic.

I was going to say be tolerant of your roommate's dissimilar musical tastes, but I think his problem is less bad taste in music and more being stupid.

Fuckiny yeaaaaaa!

This is the ex and no, no fur will fly - I'm much too amused by the whole scenario. As for us being "stupid" for getting caught up in the arguments, what the hell else is there to do in Charlotte? It's for the intellectual's amusement and speaks not to our intellect, simply to the lack of entertainment on a given weeknight. Hello everyone, I have joined the party.

That Paula Abdul interview was really terrible.

man this show is funny.

I was thinking another reason this show will never really produce quality work is noted above in the comments about the "career by committee" approach these admittedly fine voices are locked into for life. They will never get the chance to really work with high quality, complementary people.

The thing about James Brown guy was that his upper range was OUT OF CONTROL PHENOMENAL. I mean, the ease and clarity with which he was popping out HIGH Es FULL VOICE!!!!!! If this doesn't work out for him, a year of operatic training would put him on the fast track to ruling the Met.

I dunno what the fuck Paula was on during that interview, but her speech was definitely all stilted and weird...

Roommate: "I can't believe this, I lost again!"

(a few minutes later)

Him: "I lost again! I suck at this."

(a few minutes later)

Him: "Man, I really suck at bingo. I've been playing this ever since they started, a year ago, and I still can't win."

Me: "Dude, you can't suck at bingo. It's one-hundred percent pure luck. You can't suck at something that's pure luck."

Him: "Yes, you can. I haven't won a single time!"

Me: "Yeah, but it's just luck."

Him: "It's no different than poker."

He also spent a large portion of his year playing every single Leisure Suit Larry video game in the series and then replaying them. If you don't know, Leisure Suit Larry is a video game where you are a loser in a 70's leisure suit and your ultimate objective is to get proportionately unrealistic animated girls (that are not even partially as sexy as hentai characters) to undress for you. But he refused to look at pornography of any kind because he didn't want to hurt anyone's dignity.

When I began making plans to live with someone else for the next year, my friend told me that we were going to have a cat. I told my friend that I had allergies and jokingly added that if he got a kitten, I would bake it in the oven. My Weird Al-loving roommate happened to overhear and exploded- screaming over and over "Cats is people!" and "I will kill you!"

After he got his new, overpriced (and underskilled) headshots, he would call his mom and talk to her about what he was going to do when he was famous. If schadenfreude wasn't such an important aspect in my character, I'd probably feel sorry for him (Instead, I'm posting stories about him to a bunch of cynical assholes).

OTM! Cats is people!

...Is that like being a Laotian or something?

When I say ran everywhere- I mean he was a 5'6", pudgy guy who had aged prematurely, had large glasses, and carried a backpack FULL of books that offset his balance as he ran, turning his gait into some kind of retarded alpaca scamper... to and from class (couldn't miss the latest episode of DragonBall Z!).

He also had extensive knowledge on the respective variations of King Arthur tales.

But if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't know that Lt. Worf is the voice of the main gargoyle in Gargoyles. Truly I am blessed.

Seriously... "Rockist."

-the pinkest term I've heard this week.

Anyway, welcome. Uh, curious handle you have, I have to admit.

My spirit animal is irony.

(Yes, I'm cursed, but apparently uberdorks and career misanthropes are are the two unresolvable personality types when questionnaires for roommate assignment are reviewed.)

This isn't really a story about anyone being dumb as balls but about me being a jackass: Once when a couple of fellow X-filers came knocking to take him to dinner, I bolted the door and blocked his exit by force. When he tried to scream for help, I screamed over him. Then he'd try to fake me out like he'd given up but I'd beat him to the door. This went on for a few minutes until finally I ran to my desk, put on headphones, and adopted a casual position so it looked like nothing had happened when his buddies were let inside and he couldn't convince them otherwise.

I'm a terrible person, I know, but you know you wish you'd done it.

When my roommate gets drunk, she pretends she's a spy and sneaks around the dorm...spying.

Also I have seen some clips of Paula Abdul on American Idol and I think she is seriously cracked out.

I said, "But you're eating chicken wings right now."

She said, "Right. So I can vegetables and milk and eggs. And animals that make milk and eggs."

If I was a braver man, I would have pointed out that her definition of vegetarianism seemed to encompass omnivorism, but she was the 18-year-old girlfriend of one of my best friends, so i just drank more beer.

She was pretty upset about that, and understandably so. I completely empathized with her -- I had just spent a year living with my parents as my father died of lung cancer -- so I told her that if she wanted to talk about it, all she had to do was ask.

She responded, "You just don't know what it's like to have a sick parent!"

I loved that. To this day, it was probably the funniest thing anyone's ever said to me. I couldn't be upset, because it was just too crazy. I cherish those memories.

-- Ignorant Racist (greenschem...), February 2nd, 2005.

I've known that exact same person, many times. They ALL wear that dragon print shirt. Also, shirts with flames on them, and t-shirts with pictures of wolves or humanoid dogs driving muscle cars and hanging out with women in bakinis with the word "big dawg" on it.

(that are not even partially as sexy as hentai characters)

There is something dangerously wrong with that sentence.

I had another roomate that sat on her neatly made bed and watched boy meets world reruns all day. She was black and when one of Ian's friends came to visit he was in the middle of telling a story about how messy black people are when he finally noticed her ethnicity. He then tried to back it up by proclaiming "but I love black people! I'm half black!" He then offered to go out and buy her some chicken to make up for it. I wanted to seriously slaughter him but hey, he was a marine so maybe that explains it.

"Oh, I didn't mean to offend you! Have some watermelon."

Yeah, we filled out roommate matching cards at our dorm. I'm convinced they didn't read them. I'd try to figure out what kind of music my roommate hated by leaving a cd of it running and then leave to go to the bathroom to masturbate. By the time I got back, if he had turned it off that meant he hated it. Then I'd make a playlist of the music he hated (things like Boyd Rice, Ravi Shankar:Chants, and Aphex Twin:SAWII) and leave it on repeat at a very polite volume whenever he tried to study.

Ian came in and sat down and said, "You do know that Bill O'Reilly is a communist, right?" Some day I'm going to ask him what he thinks communism is. He must feel pretty strongly about this since it's the second time he's told me.

FEED ME

"It really bothers me how other people in the class aren't accepting of music they don't normally listen to. Especially... not to be stereotypical, but especially the black population of the class! Today he was playing Bohemian Rhapsody, and this black girl behind me was trying to sing it. She didn't know the song, so of course she got lots of the words wrong. I just wanted to turn around and tell her, 'Do you realize that you are mocking the best vocal singer ever?' It really bothers me how unaccepting the black people are."

Also, here's some of his political musings I've heard in the past few days:

- Bush saved the economy with the tax cuts. Otherwise, everything would be a lot worse right now.

- It's a good thing we invaded Iraq when we did, because maybe they didn't actually have WMD's, but they were about to get them! So close!

- Okay, so maybe Bush did mess up and Iraq didn't have WMD's, but at least he did the right thing by sticking to the course and not admitting he made a mistake.

I'm not sure how "sticking to the course and not admitting a mistake" is the right thing to do, but my roommate assures me that it is.

-- Mickey (modestmicke...), February 5th, 2005.

hahahahaha omg my former boss to thread

Okay, you are making this up. Please tell me you are making this up.

LOL

Actually, the majority of Americans have this attitude (but I know no one on this list would be that stupid ;))... If politicians get information that is useful or become more educated on a subject and act on it, that's called "Waffling." If you close your eyes and drive the steamroller straight ahead, that's called "Courage."

x-post

Me: "Is he new?"

Him: "No, he just sucks at his job. He's black. And, he plays the race card on everything too!"

Oh, the irony.

any more roommate stories?

Im living alone now and miss the hell of other people.

sorry, I was just feeling nostalgic for old ILM threads.

imagine living with mickey & having him constantly run to wikipedia after everything you say - i feel like i need estela to sum up how i feel about that

wow banned mickey wasn't lying about the american idol class at his school:
http://media.www.browndailyherald.com/media/storage/paper472/news/2004/11/08/CampusWatch/UncCharlotte.Takes.idol.Worship.To.New.Level-796570-page3.shtml

Mickey finally got banned?

Good find, Chad.

Good findill selection

i heard a live recording of the arcade fire once. i agree with the roommate.