All new ILE movies poll: THE WORST FILM OF ALL TIME, EVER, WITHOUT ANY QUALIFICATION. Nominations thread.

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In the ongoing quest to disseminate pessimism, I've decided to suggest a new poll. Easy 'nuff. So-as I'm not the only voter, and thus wicked lame, please contribute your ideas for the worst movie ever made. If you feel so inclined, submit your ideas as haikus or couplets. I will.

Scoring will be determined.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 00:15 (twenty-one years ago)

the anniversary party.

― f--gg (gcannon), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 00:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Signs - it was like having M. Night Shymlanan beat me about the head for two hours

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 00:17 (twenty-one years ago)

legends of the fall.

― f--gg (gcannon), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 00:17 (twenty-one years ago)

ps this is ILM

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 00:18 (twenty-one years ago)

If movies were req'd in hell,
they'd be made by Raja Gosnell. (Big Momma's House)

I think that we could agree in plenum
in relation to the movie Venom. (Venom)

― Remy (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 00:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Pret a Porter? Faraway, so close?

― jed_ (jed), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 00:21 (twenty-one years ago)

The Principal. Game over.

― briania (briania), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 00:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Is the world not polled out yet?!

― Michael F Gill (Michael F Gill), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 00:22 (twenty-one years ago)

oh that reminds me: dr t. and the women!!

― f--gg (gcannon), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 00:23 (twenty-one years ago)

't will be moved, I hope.

also:

On Raja Gosnell: If re. his ability you disagree
I suggest you rent Home Alone part 3.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 00:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Talented Mr Ripley. A whopping two-hour wank.

― Flash (cowboytrance), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 00:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Dreamcatcher, Dreamcatcher, DREAMCATCHER!

― Bryan Moore (Bryan Moore), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 00:29 (twenty-one years ago)

COLLATERAL

― W i l l (common_person), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 00:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Love Actually.

― Matt Chesnut, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 00:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Dungeons & Dragons, without question.

― Drew Daniel (Drew Daniel), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 00:35 (twenty-one years ago)

The Doors was pretty bad.
Battlefield Earth truly is awful though, i was hoping it would be fun schlocky bad, but no.

― zappi (joni), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 00:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Gigli was pretty goddamned bad.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 00:56 (twenty-one years ago)

The one I hated the most was Romeo + Juliet, though.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 01:00 (twenty-one years ago)

the reckoning

― f--gg (gcannon), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 01:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Garden State.

― adam (adam), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 01:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Citizen Kane

― Star Cauliflower (Star Cauliflower), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 01:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Pay It Forward!!!

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 01:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Taking Lives

― Lingbertt, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 01:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Signs seconded. I literally wanted to find and kill MNS when I walked out.

― Aaron A., Tuesday, 15 February 2005 01:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Duets

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 01:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Amos & Andrew

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 01:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Phone Booth, Contact, anything directed by Schumaker or Zemeckis. Or Kevin Smith or MNS.

― Aaron A., Tuesday, 15 February 2005 01:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Freejack.

― Oblivious Lad (Matthew Lazowski), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 01:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Tomcats!!

― Mike O. (Mike Ouderkirk), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 02:07 (twenty-one years ago)

8mm

― tremendoid (tremendoid), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 02:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I think you guys are just cut n pasting Armond White's top ten list here.

and apparently no one has seen Cold Creek Manor! Stephen Dorff terrorizes Dennis Quaid and Sharon Stone! and so on.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 02:33 (twenty-one years ago)

21 Grams

― ryan (ryan), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 02:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Grease
The English Patient

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 02:44 (twenty-one years ago)

3000 Miles to Graceland

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 02:48 (twenty-one years ago)

life is beautiful

― chris andrews (fraew), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 02:53 (twenty-one years ago)

it's "sphere" or "outbreak"
both starring dustin hoffman
inexplicably

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:16 (twenty-one years ago)

200 Cigarettes

― rainbowelf, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Garden State

― JD from CDepot, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, it probably is Volcano.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I think you're forgetting that Volcano had a volcano and therefore it had fire. There are several other films listed here that did not.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:35 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd say "kate and leopold" but i never saw it, and neither did you.

― f--gg (gcannon), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Armageddon

MISSION TO MARS

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Conspiracy Theory and possibly irrationally, School of Rock

― Aaron A., Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:42 (twenty-one years ago)

"i'd say "kate and leopold" but i never saw it, and neither did you"

I saw it! It wasn't as bad as Pay It Forward.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Reality Bites.

― mike a, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:44 (twenty-one years ago)

i liked Signs. i thought it was a great piece of hokey X-filesishness, i thought the fake looking lizard men were GREAT!

i liked the atmosphere of the film...cornfields and things that jump!

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:44 (twenty-one years ago)

american beauty

― Shmool McShmool (shmuel), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Conspiracy Theory seconded...I HATE TAHT FUCKIN MOVIE BECAUSE IT COULD'VE BEEN GOOD IF THERE WERE NO STARS AND RICHARD DONNER ATTACHED.

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Papparazi was pretty dire...though quite hilarious!

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:48 (twenty-one years ago)

oh shit, Reality Bites! How could I forget?

Defend the Indefensible: "Reality Bites"

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Come on, Cookie's Fortune was waaaaaaay worse than Reality Bites, and Cookie's Fortune was nowhere near as bad as Pay It Forward.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:52 (twenty-one years ago)

team america. i can't believe i got talked into seeing this atrocity.

― stirmonster, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:53 (twenty-one years ago)

The Lost World: Jurassic Park

Godzilla

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:54 (twenty-one years ago)

that Neil LaBute one with Rachel Weisz, what the fuck was that called? God, was that excruciatingly horrible. 10 times worse than Volcano!!! I'd watch Volcano any day of the week.

― scott seward (scott seward), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:54 (twenty-one years ago)

The Shape of Things! Neil Labute is a fucker, too.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 03:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Bulletproof, the one with Adam Sandler and Damon Wayans as buddy cops.

― a banana (alanbanana), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 04:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Birth of A Nation. I think that Griffith's agenda was to make a film so overlong and horrible that audiences would find themselves rooting for the Kl4n so that the film would end sooner.

― Leeeter van den Hoogenband (Leee), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 04:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Singles. The Core. 21 grams. gone in 60 seconds.

― Star Cauliflower (Star Cauliflower), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 04:29 (twenty-one years ago)

21 Grams would definitely make a strong showing.

The Shape of Things was good! (Gretchen Mol+Rachel Weisz=yaaaaay)

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 04:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Slacker (the one with Jason Schwartzman, not the pluralized Linklater film)
Jurassic Park 3

― mike h. (mike h.), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 04:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Spun (the one with Jason Schwartzmann that was so bad I nearly walked out the cinema for the first time in my life)

― stet (stet), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 04:46 (twenty-one years ago)

"gone in 60 seconds."

OTFM

"Slacker (the one with Jason Schwartzman, not the pluralized Linklater film)"

OTFM

"Jurassic Park 3"

i liked it better than the second JP movie! it was simple and stupid rather than just plain stupid like The Lost World.

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 04:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Slacker (the one with Jason Schwartzman, not the pluralized Linklater film)

you mixed the titles up

― a banana (alanbanana), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 05:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Street Fighter

― Lingbertt, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 05:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Bram Stoker's Dracula

― Bumfluff, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 06:25 (twenty-one years ago)

No, that had style. Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, though -- that was shit of the bull.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 06:31 (twenty-one years ago)

ooh, Bram Stoker's Dracula is a good one.

― The Good Dr. Bill (The Good Dr. Bill), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 06:35 (twenty-one years ago)

(good choice, not good movie)

― The Good Dr. Bill (The Good Dr. Bill), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 06:35 (twenty-one years ago)

John Carpenter's 'Vampires': GRRRRRRR!!!!! On the bright side, it instilled in me a life-long hatred of James Woods, so there's that.

'Saw': To date, the biggest damn waste of my time despite being led to believe otherwise. PE speaketh the truth: Don't Believe The Hype. Or as my husband says: sheeple are stupid.

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 06:49 (twenty-one years ago)

reclamation project: School of Rock is tops! and I kind of liked Cookie's Fortune

― tremendoid (tremendoid), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 07:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Seconded: School Of Rock is great!

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 07:18 (twenty-one years ago)

School of Rock is among a few movies mentioned in this thread that I like quite a bit.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 08:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Grease WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!

― Bryan Moore (Bryan Moore), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 10:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't remember which one the worst Madonna film was, but that would be my vote.

― NickB (NickB), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 10:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Churchill: The Hollywood Years
Powder
Unbreakable

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 10:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I rather liked PhoneBooth but it works better on the small screen I think.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 10:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Grease 2.

― The Horse of Babylon (the pirate king), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 10:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't remember which one the worst Madonna film was, but that would be my vote.

THe one with Griffin Dunne (sp?). I can't remember the title. "Who's That Girl"?

― stevie nixed (stevie nixed), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 10:52 (twenty-one years ago)

recently: Van Helsing - everything loathsome about contemporary movies - stupid, incoherent, exhausting, excessively cartoonish, loads of CGI effects ladled on with sledgehammer force

in the nineties : Reality Bites - a middle-aged studio executive's vision of "Generation X". Winona Ryder says things like "I'm just trying to be myself, but i don't who that is anymore" and ends up in the arms of Ethan Hawk's repugnant, snobby, 24 hour-a-day taste fascist. Yuck.

― Neil FC (Neil FC), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Titanic. Forever.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

i found a film in my local indie video place called 'Karate Ghostbusters'. it should have been fantastic with a name like that, but incredibly, it sucked all of the ass in a mile radius.

otherwise, i'd say 'Croupier'. that dumb voice-over still haunts me.

― fsharp (fsharp), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Any Oliver Stone film.

"The prospect of having to sit through another Oliver Stone movie was too much.”
-- Pauline Kael, upon retiring

― Jazzbo (jmcgaw), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 12:53 (twenty-one years ago)

man, i can't believe i forgot about 'Batman and Robin'.

― fsharp (fsharp), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Most of these aren't that bad.

― o. nate (onate), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Dogville
South Bronx Heroes
Enter The Dragon

― Jay-Kid (Jay-Kid), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Fight Club

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

A RANDOM selection:

'Closer'
'Barbarian Invasions'
'Salo'
'The Good Girl' (unless it improved radically; I switched off early)
'La Peau Douce'

― Henry Miller, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Fight Club OTM

also:
The Sixth Sense
The Others
Underworld (w. Denis Leary)

― Jay-Kid (Jay-Kid), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 14:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Pootie Tang
Batman Forever (or whatever the fourth one was called)
Scooby-Doo
The Fifth Element
54 (despite great acting talent)
A Guy Thing (what a cast, but this sucked!)
From Dusk Til Dawn
Austin Powers 3
So I Married An Axe Murderer

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Austin Powers 1, 2 and 3

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

There are so many overhyped movies and so many more incompetent movies. I think a true terrible film has to have some talent involved and still go horribly awry (or intentionally horrible). Like, for example, "Bonfire of the Vanities." But my default "worst film ever," since I first saw it, has been :

"Con Air"

Sub-Michael Bay spaz editing and direction!
Ridiculous script!
Nicolas Cage as a lethal weapon with a mullet!
numerous jokes about rape, and women and children constantly put in needless jeopardy!

Cage, Buscemi, Cusack, Malcovich! Ving Rames! Dave Chapelle! All shit. All the time. It ends with a plane crash landing into a casino, which is as excessive as excess gets.

― Josh in Chicago (Josh in Chicago), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Con Air fucking rules.

― Henry Miller, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Con Air fucking rules.

seconded, although i always feel a bit uncomfortable when buscemi is left with that little girl. was that really necessary, michael bay?

― Jay-Kid (Jay-Kid), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Simon West, actually! (Whither?)

― Henry Miller, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Simon West went on to do the "Tomb Raider" movies. Yes, he's that good.

"Con Air' Is such a piece of shit, not least for the "will Buscemi molest the little girl?" tea party scene. Oh, the humor! Oh, the drama! Oh, the humanity!

― Josh in Chicago (Josh in Chicago), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Independence Day fills me with a great emptiness...

― Canute, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

"Godzilla" is worse than "Independence Day." For God's sake, how do you mess up "giant lizard destroys city?!"

― Josh in Chicago (Josh in Chicago), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Battleship Potemkin yo, the storming of the Winter Palace had every cliche in the book.

― Gordy Stevenson, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Arthur 2: On The Rocks

― coco, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate it when people nominate stuff from the past 12 months in an ALL-TIME thread, but, seriously, has cinema ever sank as low as A Cinderella Story? Or Tale. Or whatever it was called. Any film that features a three minute interval where the main character tries on a variety of wacky outfits to the soundtrack of a female fronted power pop act whilst the token geek and the token black of the movie stand on looking alternately bemused and horified, really. There's about seven a year.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Any film that features a three minute interval where the main character tries on a variety of wacky outfits to the soundtrack of a female fronted power pop act whilst the token geek and the token black of the movie stand on looking alternately bemused and horified

That's so OTM I can't even believe it. It can also be someone restoring a house or learning to be good at some kind of sport to that power pop song.

― Jay-Kid (Jay-Kid), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

The Matrix 2.

Mind you, I've never seen the Matrix 3. Or Austin Powers.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

footloose.

― Jay-Kid (Jay-Kid), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Baise Moi, The Patriot. Both just bloody awful

― Jason J, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Fight Club OTM
also:
The Sixth Sense
The Others

What, are you MAD? Fight Club may be pretty over-rated but WORST MOVIE EVAH?!?!? And as for the other two, I suspect you're just trying to be controversial. How anybody could even THINK about nominating The Others while Quentin Tarrantino still has a career is beyond me.

― hobart paving (hobart paving), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 16:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Sleepless in Seattle

― Joe (Joe), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

power pop montages are the bread and butter of cinematic art.

― ryan (ryan), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 16:41 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG! I've got it:

HUMAN TRAFFIC!!!

The most condescending, embarassing excuse for film I've ever seen!

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Fight Club is hilarious!

Worst.. True Lies. The Scarlet Letter. (I haven't seen that one, but I am guessing it at least deserves to be voted on here.)

Something by Lars Von Trier?

Pas de repos pour les braves (No Rest for the Brave) was one of the few I've actually walked out of, but it's probably too obscure to be worth the trouble..

― daria g (daria g), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 16:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, wait.
I forgot exactly how much I hate Rainman.

― coco, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

28 Days Later

― johno, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

The only Fight Club that matters:

Fight Club 1910 (A Masterpiece Theatre/Merchant and Ivory Production)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 16:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Thirteen
Elephant
Baby Geniuses
The Faculty
10 Things I Hate About You

― billstevejim, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Garfield
Alien vs Predator

― billstevejim, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

HUMAN TRAFFIC!!!
I liked that one! V. entertaining!

True Lies
This one should be in the finals, too.

Something by Lars Von Trier?
Yeah, I mentioned 'Dogville' upthread.

Fight Club
The Sixth Sense
The Others
What, are you MAD? Fight Club may be pretty over-rated but WORST MOVIE EVAH?!?!? And as for the other two, I suspect you're just trying to be controversial.

No, I really, really dislike that trend in movies that these three films represent: In the late 90ies / early 00's every godamn movie had to have this stupid-ass ending that turned the whole thing around in a really pathetic and aren't we surprised??? manner. And after 'The Sixth Sense, anyway, everybody had guessed that this was one of those movies (if it was) after 5 mins. 'The Life Of David Gale' firts into that category, too. Luckily, this seems to be largely over by now.

― Jay-Kid (Jay-Kid), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 17:14 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread has continued to mention films that I enjoy unapologetically since my last post.

― polyphonic (polyphonic), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 17:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Am I the only one who thinks Donnie Darko is RIDICULOUSLY overrated?

Anyway, as far as worst movie evah goes:
From Hell
Gigli
Envy
Armageddon
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (I saw this in the theater with my younger brother and we both walked out--he was around 8 at the time)

I'm personally a fan of "laughably bad" movies (Showgirls, Resident Evil, Blade Trinity was a LAUGH RIOT), but the above mentioned were just torture.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Not even the worst of these movies is as bad as the ILX 1990s poll... or any collective tabulation of ballots, for that matter.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 17:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't believe I'm this far down in the thread and Highlander 2 hasn't been mentioned.

― brandon larson, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 20:09 (twenty-one years ago)

funny how all of these were made in the last decade

― a banana (alanbanana), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 20:27 (twenty-one years ago)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the original.

― David Merryweather (DavidM), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 20:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, the last decade ain't exactly the Golden Age of Cinema...

― Joe (Joe), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 20:36 (twenty-one years ago)

How about Araki's The Doom Generation?

― Joe (Joe), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I think I pissed blood for a week after watching "Love Actually", so I'll second that choice.

― darin (darin), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 20:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Boat Trip
The Matrix 3
What Women Want (noted for excessive trying-on-outfits scene)
Wild Wild West

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 20:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Warriors of Virtue

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 20:54 (twenty-one years ago)

The Neverending Story, Pt. II

― n/a (Nick A.), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

True Lies was hilarious!!

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Battleship Potemkin yo, the storming of the Winter Palace had every cliche in the book.
-- Gordy Stevenson (sonofsteve...), February 15th, 2005.

HAHAHA. Brilliant!

― Francisco Monar (fmonar), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

LOST IN TRANSLATION

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Would this be a good time to mention that Leonard, Part 6 is finally coming out on DVD in April?

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

DC Cab

― daria g (daria g), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

please people these movies are all better than those you voted for in the ILE "best of" poll

i mean seriously guys seriously

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Am I the only one who thinks Donnie Darko is RIDICULOUSLY overrated?

Metacritic says:
Video: Donnie Darko (2001) 71
Film: Donnie Darko: The Director's Cut (2004) 88

So, no.

LOST IN TRANSLATION

No.

american beauty

No.

I'm usually pretty good at avoiding terrible movies altogether. I don't know if I'd call this the worst, but it's horrible and it hasn't been mentioned:

Star Wars Episode 1, 2.

― sleep (sleep), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Donnie Darko IS overrated, but it's also really good.

― billstevejim, Tuesday, 15 February 2005 22:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Re: Donnie Darko - I meant "so, no, I don't think it's overrated".

― sleep (sleep), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 22:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean, personally I've never heard anyone raving about it or anything, so all I have to go on is the metacritic scores as a rule of thumb. And if I had to attribute a numeric score to that film (the original, I haven't seen the director's cut), it would be higher than 77.

― sleep (sleep), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

or 71 even!

― sleep (sleep), Tuesday, 15 February 2005 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

From the past 15 years or so:

1. Irreversible
2. Groove
3. Duplex
4. Glitter
5. Baise Moi
6. 8mm
7. Fat Girl
8. Sweet Home Alabama
9. About Schmidt
10. Monster's Ball

Runner's up:

The Patriot
The Phantom of the Opera
Prospero's Books
Anger Management
Reindeer Games
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace
Sleepless in Seattle
Bringing Down the House
Cabin Fever
Paparazzi
National Lampoon's Gold Diggers
Now You Know
Lovely & Amazing
Duct Tape Forever
Hollow Man
Igby Goes Down
The Anniversary Party
Kicking and Screaming
3000 Miles to Graceland
Ali
Chaplin
One Hour Photo
Road to Perdition
40 Days and 40 Nights
Crime and Punishment in Suburbia
Edgeplay: A Film About the Runaways
Flight of the Phoenix
Full Frontal
Garfield: The Movie
Sleepless in Seattle
Pay It Forward
The Ladykillers
King Arthur
Imaginary Heroes
All the Real Girls

― Pete Scholtes, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 00:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I actually own Donnie Darko, and like it less every time I watch it. After it came out on DVD a lot of people at my high school and now in my dorm are OBSESSED with it and think it's just the greatest! movie! ever! while I think there are better time travel movies (12 Monkeys) and just better movies period. Unfortunately I have no knowledge of Metacritic's rating system, so the numbers mean nuffin to me. ;p

Oh, and Star Wars Episode 2 seriously almost made me cry. It was like watching a childhood pet being brutally raped.

Oh, and I just remembered the atrocity that was Swordfish. And then I blacked out for five minutes.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 00:14 (twenty-one years ago)

If you see it in a used bookstore, The 50 Worst Films of All Time is actually a very entertaining read. But it leaves off in the '70s...

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0445041390/ref%3Dnosim/thestinketheulti/103-1692983-7487002

― Pete Scholtes, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 00:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Falling Down

― Stupornaut (natepatrin), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 00:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Well I mean, I can understand if everyone around you was obsessed with it and wouldn't shut up about it. Overexposure changes things of course, and I'm the same way with music. Personally I just saw Donnie Darko recently having never really heard of it. It's one of my favorite films I've discovered within the past year or so.

Metacritic scores are out of 100, and they're basically a weighted average of the reviews of a bunch of different major/respected publications/critics. So it gives a rough idea of general critical consensus.

― sleep (sleep), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

what's funny about SW: Ep 2 is that I thought it some some sequences that were really quite good (much of that opening chase scene business, Ewan McGregor travelling to that water world) surrounded by appalling crap.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 02:06 (twenty-one years ago)

oh and Road to Perdition is almost unbearably awful, you're right. The sort of movie that tries to trick people into thinking it's good. Fucking terrible.

― Riot Gear! (Gear!), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 02:07 (twenty-one years ago)

people: Million Dollar Baby

― Aaron A., Wednesday, 16 February 2005 02:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Sleepless in Seattle

So bad, I listed it twice.

― Pete Scholtes, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 03:02 (twenty-one years ago)

The most thought-provoking comment ever made about Sleepless in Seattle was when someone pointed out to me that if Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks' characters swapped places, it wouldn't be a cute love story, it would be stalking.

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 03:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Attack of the Clones.
D Darko -- overated, but good.

I Heart Huckabees was fucking awful.

― Star Cauliflower (Star Cauliflower), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 04:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Titus is the only movie I ever walked out of.
Third for Love Actually.
Moulin Rouge makes me violent- not just for the movie itself, which is fucking horrific, but for the obnoxiousness of the people I know who tried to convince me it was wonderful.

― TayBridgeCatastrophe (TayBridge), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 04:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Scary Movie 2 might be the worst movie I have ever seen.

― sleep (sleep), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 04:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I liked Moulin Rouge and Love Actually. And I'm a guy. Does that mean I'm gay?

― Star Cauliflower (Star Cauliflower), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 04:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry, but the Medved brothers book is the duddest of duds. And not just because I think Ivan the Terrible is one of the two handfuls of the greatest of great. Mostly because it's like MST3K without the funny and with the snark hostility turned up to a super-entitled degree.

And quit doggin' on the French artsploitation.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 08:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Falling Down

What!? This is one of the classics of the 1990ies! It works on so many levels, even though it's spelling things out for us at times. Robert Duvall is such a fine actor. I just love to see watch him on the screen. He doesn't really have to do much, just run around and talk a little.

― Jay-Kid (Jay-Kid), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 09:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Starship Troopers 2.

it wins handsdown. Pack up your bags and go home - nothing to see here.

― Anko Painting (Anko2), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 10:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm not a big fan of romantic comedies in general, though can understand their 'place' in the movie/life rubric and why people would want to see them. But there's something about Sleepless in Seattle particularly that really pushes my buttons, I can't really put my finger completely on it. It reaches beyond Hanks' mewling for his departed wife (usually, they at least try to be more subtle about that level of audience-manipulation factor in the scripts) and even moreso that annoying little kid who instinctively just...knows!!! who is right for his dad and will sabotage anything/anyone that doesn't fit The Plan...to unite his Dad with a woman from some other part of the country whom neither has met.

It's not just that I find the movie's sentiment exceptionally false, even for a romantic comedy, but more that what it's holding up as an ideal for a relationship...that you should "just know" (by instinct or fate or "magic") who the right person is that's "meant for you", and that forming a healthy relationship doesn't require work, trial and error, and substantial emotional investment and constant communication to maintain once you think you have found the right person...it seems to me a rather harmful message. I find it mind-boggling that anyone would be *touched* by the story after having seen it rather than insulted and slightly disturbed.

― Joe (Joe), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, Falling Down is pretty good.

― billstevejim, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Holy crap, Top Gun isn't on here.

― billstevejim, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:07 (twenty-one years ago)

HUMAN TRAFFIC

― monia.l (monia.l), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I've never been so bored and shocked by how bad a film has been

― monia.l (monia.l), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I think there are more good films in this thread than the ILE Best of the '90s.

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/6300268624.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

YOU'VE LOST THAT LOVING FEEEEEEEELIIIING

Top Gun = so bad it's great

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Spy Kids

― Leon the Fatboy (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:14 (twenty-one years ago)

2001! the acting is atrocious and the dialogue so wooden! and whats the deal with men in monkey suits for half an hour! c'mon people theres a movie already out called planet of the apes k thnx.

oh and theres a "light show" at the end! i was half expecting pink floyd to start murdering my ears!

and a giant baby at the end! wtf? kubrick's totally ripping off that simpsons episode when homer goes to space!

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

and dont get me started on that red camera Hal 2600!

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Love Actually. Haven't even seen it, but the trailer came on in Blockbuster and a simmering rage began to well up inside me as the gospel choir version of All You Need Is Love played and the smug voiceover smugged away. Being a placid fellow, I didn't lose my rag, but man, was it excruciating.

People are dissing a lot of mediocre and flawed movies but missing out the real dreck, such as:

Batman & Robin (Arnie: "they won't put me in the cooler")
The General's Daughter (another godawful Travolta thing)
An Alan Smithee Movie
K-Pax (Spacey smugfest that even Jeff Bridged couldn't redeem)
Beaches
Mrs Doubtfire (travesty of a fine kids book. Anne Fine was not happy)

I was going to include The John Denver Story but it's actually quite funny for the relentlessly chirpy lead actor and his hair.

― stew, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Top Gun - no film with a 26-year-old, towel-clad Val Kilmer sneering can be all bad.

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, and 40 Days And 40 Nights. Ok, Sharon Sossamon is almost unbearably lovely, but it really is a crude and jarring attempt to combine filth with romance.
The worst bit is when he spends the night with her but can't touch, so he makes her come by blowing a feather up and down her body...

Gigli does look truly horrendous. "Gobble gobble" aaarrrgggh!

― stew, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Batman & Robin (Arnie: "they won't put me in the cooler")

"Everybody Chill!"

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:35 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah i think thats actually the worst film ever

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, Batman & Robin was a date movie for my 16 year old self (nothing else on in my shitty town). Didn't see her again...

― stew, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

All five of the movies below are FUCKING SHIT:

* BEST DEFENSE - this is a FUCKING SHIT film
* PLANET OF THE APES (Burton) - this is a FUCKING SHIT film
* 8 LEGGED FREAKS - this is a FUCKING SHIT film
* BURN HOLLYWOOD BURN - this is a FUCKING SHIT film
* VERONICA GUERIN - this is a FUCKING SHIT film

― Huey (Huey), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man

― zaxxon25 (zaxxon25), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man

No, that movie is classic!

Trenchcoats made of Kevlar...mwahahahahaha!

― Jessie the Monster (scarymonsterrr), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

My Multiplex in Hell

200 Cigarettes

Lost World Jurassic Park

Escape from LA

Requiem for a Dream

The Triplets of Belleville

American Beauty

Oceans 11 (the remake)

Traffic

― Spicy Club Sauce, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 20:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Basic. A film with John Travolta AND Samuel L Jackson has no right to be this shit.

Battle Royale 2 kind of sucked as well.

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 20:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Not even the worst of these movies is as bad as the ILX 1990s poll
these movies are all better than those you voted for in the ILE "best of" poll
I think there are more good films in this thread than the ILE Best of the '90s.

Dumb point taken!

― Pete Scholtes, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 22:51 (twenty-one years ago)

anything directed by Schumaker

--Tigerland?

or Zemeckis

--Back to the Future? Cast Away?

or Kevin Smith

--Clerks?

Any Oliver Stone film

--Salvador? Born on the Fourth of July? Talk Radio?

― Pete Scholtes, Wednesday, 16 February 2005 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Bicentennial Man

― Mike O. (Mike Ouderkirk), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Mrs Doubtfire
yeah, and the one where that schmuck is playing a robot with human feelings, too!

― Jay-Kid (Jay-Kid), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Super Fuzz
Cannonball Run 2

― shookout (shookout), Wednesday, 16 February 2005 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Not even the worst of these movies is as bad as the ILX 1990s poll
these movies are all better than those you voted for in the ILE "best of" poll
I think there are more good films in this thread than the ILE Best of the '90s.

Dumb point taken!

I only said it once, for the record, but I'm glad I'm not alone... except for romantically.

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 17 February 2005 01:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Funny Farm -- This is a terrible, unfunny comedy starring Chevy Chase and worse yet directed by George Roy Hill, who made quite a few really good movies at one point. It is the worse movie I ever actually paid to see.

― Earl Nash (earlnash), Thursday, 17 February 2005 02:52 (twenty-one years ago)

All of those Fear/The Babysitter/Poison Ivy 2 movies from the early 90s are pretty atrocious.

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 17 February 2005 21:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Total Eclipse (feat. Leonardo DiCaprio & David Thewlis)

― nader (nader), Thursday, 17 February 2005 22:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Scanners,
or
Naked Lunch.

Cronenbourg is a genius? Only if genius means rubbish.

― dmun, Friday, 18 February 2005 00:04 (twenty-one years ago)

you can die.

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Friday, 18 February 2005 00:07 (twenty-one years ago)

http://movies.infinitecoolness.com/21/scan04.jpg

plus you mispelled his name!

― latebloomer: HE WHOM DUELS THE DRAFGON IN ENDLESS DANCE (latebloomer), Friday, 18 February 2005 00:09 (twenty-one years ago)

No-one mentioned "Sliver" yet? In that case, I will.

― Si Carter (Si Carter), Friday, 18 February 2005 00:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah, sorry i spelt his name wrong, but Cronenbourg or Cronenberg, he's still made the same dire films.

― dmun, Friday, 18 February 2005 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

How the heck did I forget Star Wars Episode i? That might be worse than anything else on this thread.

― Raymond Cummings (Raymond Cummings), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Does The Star Wars Holiday Special count as a movie? If so, it's a dead cert.

― Huey (Huey), Friday, 18 February 2005 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Battleship Potemkin yo, the storming of the Winter Palace had every cliche in the book.
-- Gordy Stevenson (sonofsteve...), February 15th, 2005.

HAHAHA. Brilliant!

Aw, c'mon - they weren't cliches in fucking 1924!

But that's my only comment regarding the dozen-or-so above films that I like. My choice for worst:

"Crash" (wurst movie I ever paid money to see!) may have turned me off Cronenberg (& R. Arquette for that matter) forever - and I liked everything previous. Never woulda believed that any film could be repellent, unbelievable and deadly dull all at once - a near-impossible combination! - so at least I'll give him credit for that.
2nd würst $ layout: "Howard The Duck", and in fact EVERYTHING w/George Lucas's name on it after, oh, 1981 is a contenda. And every movie in which Michael Douglas plays an executive. And the aforementioned "Con Air" - Has there ever been a worse film w/as many usually dependable actors? (No.)

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Friday, 18 February 2005 17:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Search party required for Myonga Von Bontee's sense of humour!

― ailsa (ailsa), Friday, 18 February 2005 22:55 (twenty-one years ago)

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