who is Bob Lefsetz?

But I've got to warn you. There are SEA CUCUMBERS!

Oh, you wear reef shoes. But littered on the bottom of the ocean are these...well, CUCUMBERS! But they're alive. And squishy. And they urinate. And it's almost so gross you don't want to go in. You CERTAINLY don't want to step on one.

...

"Dvorak-style amalgam of ex-ATN writers taking the piss" is the FUNNIEST PHRASE I HAVE READ ALL DAY though i don't know why.

He also turns up on the Rhino podcast with hystronic tirades about The State Of Things and endless flashbacks to his life in the 70s when things were So Much Better. In short, he's one of the Ghost World record collectors only with an income.

You know what brings you back, again and again, to Bob Lefsetz? It's the PASSION. Oh, you can try to stay away. You can subscribe to a million other blogs. You can tell yourself that music's changed, or that you've changed, or that you don't understand anymore. But you know what? It's not that you've got older - it's that your generation has lost touch! They've SOLD OUT. And it's the KIDS on the INTERNET with thei iPods and their Blackberries who are reminding you why you got into this WHOLE CRAZY FUCKING BUSINESS IN THE FIRST PLACE. It's the MUSIC! Oh, you can tell yourself it isn't. BUT IT IS. And if you don't listen, you and every other exec LEECHING off the hindquarters of a MEMORY is going to BITE THE FUCKING DUST!

Heheh.
I unsubscribed offa the Lef'Letter again awhile ago.

Seriously though his blog is my fave industry read and has been for a while now.

omg somebody's gotta imagebomb this dude and his ridiculous opinions

Another thread on him. Also, Chuck mentioned and quoted a recent Lefsetz country music and Sirius radio thing on the Rolling Country thread.

His most recent column begins 'I was at the psychiatrist today...'. Magnificent. We are Lefsetz FANATICS at our house. Oh, you can laugh. But that's because you're HISTORY.

How about that T.I. diatribe...Is he right about touring rock bands having more sustained longevity than rappers or pop acts?

But I'll take T.I. over Rory Gallagher and many of the washed-up blooz-rockers and classic-rock dudes he loves.

Is he right about touring rock bands having more sustained longevity than rappers or pop acts?...YES

...he must have a lot of time on his hands and he reminds me of mixerman

Who's mixerman? I think Lefsetz is a retired music biz attorney.

One of his pet themes is that only individuals whom he says audiences perceive as 'real' will have lasting careers. He says this does not include American Idol performers and most rappers and pop acts.

Nelly Furtado Thursday 6/7/07 The WaMu Theater at Madison Square Garden, New York, NY Gross: $316,400 4,992/4,992 (100% Ticket prices: $65.00/$45.00 That was her best gig. In Boston, she did 3,644 out of 6,500 (56.1%). In Sayreville, NJ, she did 1,165 out of 2,050 (56.8%). In Detroit, she did 1,761 out of 2,585 (68.1%). In Grand Prairie, TX, she did 2,375 out of 2,503 (94.9%). In other words, she did SHITTY! And these weren't big halls to begin with, positively small, THEATRES! Her album has sold 1,873,719 copies, it's still number 50 on the chart A YEAR LATER! In other words, record sales don't mean shit. Work with Timbaland all you want. Have a hit on Top Forty radio that fewer people are listening to every day. Most people are not paying attention. They don't think you're REAL! Real acts don't conspire with a multitude of people, the usual suspects, to create their of the moment music. No one's even going to REMEMBER her tracks half a decade from now. No one's even going to PLAY them! (Have you heard Eminem recently?) It's not about music being stolen, that's not the big story in the music business today. It's about the bifurcation in its soul. Touring used to reflect record sales. No longer is this the case. And the real acts, the lasting acts, can all do good live business. The public got the memo, the press has not. As for the major labels? If they want a taste of every piece of the pie they've got to be trustworthy, have the act's best interests at heart. Ain't that a laugh.

so bob thinks the PUBLIC wants REAL, but it's hard to notice that said public has responded to THE REAL BOB himself by leaving ZERO COMMENTS so far on his latest blog post. ZERO COMMENTS on the post before that. ZERO COMMENTS on his LAST FOUR POSTS, in fact. the one before that elicited ONE COMMENT. so maybe everyone's talking about him but NO ONE CARES. most people are not paying attention. in other words, capital-letter posts about THE REAL don't mean shit. on the other hand, matthew fluxblog, champion of the pop, the artificial, the unreal, got 14 COMMENTS on his most recent posts. and 20 COMMENTS on the one before that. and 12 comments for his thoughts on KELLY CLARKSON. take that, bob!

So who's READING these blogs? The Arizona girl you met at UCLA you secretly wanted to fuck? NO! That aging A&R rep with the combover whose ass you wanted to kick cos he thought he was DOWN with the kids? NO-ONE who CARES about MUSIC reads BLOGS! They're too busy LIVING! And what do they want as their soundtrack to life? Music about LOVE - love gained, love lost, love refrigerated briefly prior to baking. LOVE is what keeps us coming back to music. NOT blogs. NOT UCLA postgrad programs. NOT even Arizona girls. And especially not Matthew fucking PERPETUA.

Who's mixerman?

http://www.mixerman.net/diaries_main.php

With just a few changes to the word lists, Lefsetz could pass for a SubGenius spewbot.

ctrl-f HITS not found

Bob always quotes 2 types of e-mail responses he gets (as many folks receive his stuff via e-mail rather than looking at his site)--from retired or current folks in the biz, or from ordinary folks who tell him how much they love 'real' music and then proceed to enthuse about the most bland middlebrow rock. The tone in both types of responses are often pretty amusing.

But I'll take T.I. over Rory Gallagher

Any sane person would. (Which says it all.)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=laBpl0TPaNg

I never heard of this guy until yesterday, but his old timer shtick is kind of entertaining, I read it hearing the voice of Bob "The Kid Stays In The Picture" Evans, and then think of the Martin Landau character from Entourage.

Subscribed a couple of weeks ago after someone mentioned him on the Radiohead thread, I tried, but I just don't get it, unsubscribed again.

Random thoughts that go nowhere, boasting about scoring a tour jacket from a 70's Clapton tour, comments from people who apparently do get what he means, irrelevant grumpy old man stuff, nothing I want to read about several times a day.

Am I missing something or is that it?

His rants against the music biz, while largely predictable at this point, are often entertaining reading. Same goes for his stories of his life and his nostalgia.

omg somebody's gotta imagebomb this dude and his ridiculous opinions

Article on Lefsetz in the Washington Post

The fact that he is "one of the music industry's most influential analysts" speaks volumes. If you pretend you're reading an Onion editorial his pieces are entertaining though.

When I worked at Rhino, I'd hear stories about Bob's refusals to edit his histrionic rants. Consequently, most 'casts were 90 percent wall-bouncing froth over Spirit's Dr. Sardonicus and tear-soaked Aspen weekends in '75 when MUSIC and LOVE were REAL and YOUNG, 10 percent contributions from actual Rhino employees.

He's like Lsetz, the Dean of Music Analysis.

Oh not that guy again. There was also this interesting take on Feist.

ugh.

he reminds me of ben gazzara as jackie treehorn: "we used to have a little thing called production values... FEELINGS..."

That and the Onion editorial comment both made me roffle.

howard_beale.jpg

I kinda like reading his rants as SubGenius devival art but the guy can't be bothered to put the full text of his posts in his RSS feed so screw it.

LOL at his anti-Ticketmaster rant. Welcome to 1994 Bob!

oh man is he ever happy about the new Tom Petty

Mudcrutch vs. Tin Machine

I'm officially starting the trend of calling them The Crutch.

dudes don't harsh The Crutch

dude, The Crutch killed it last nite at the cow palace

Pure seventies. Pure magic.

dude the crutch don't know any other way to rock.

Pure seventies. Pure magic.

this was totally my favorite line

Kind of sums it all up, doesn't it?

White Room

by Bob Lefsetz

The sixties were different. They were light, and dark, and nothing in between. Today we live in the gray. In the onslaught of media, nothing sticks out, nothing is in relief, we're all hiding in our bunkers, trying to figure it all out. But, in the sixties, we ventured out, we wanted to experience IT ALL!

In the sixties there was context. It wasn't like today, where without a major hype campaign nobody knows the story. We only had three TV networks. "Rolling Stone" didn't come on the scene until the end of the decade. There were limited media outlets, and we paid attention. The big breakthrough was FM underground radio, and you were lucky if you had an outlet in your community, where you could hear Cream.

Cream was something you heard about from your friends. You went over to somebody's house and they played you "Sunshine Of Your Love". Pete Townshend eventually sang about one note, pure and easy, playing so free, but really it was one RIFF that people lined up behind. And that riff, the one that got it all started, was the one from "Sunshine Of Your Love".

Listen to "Sunshine Of Your Love" today, you'll be STUNNED how little is on the record. God, it sounds like there were NO overdubs, just a power trio laying it down. Still, it wasn't just the notes Clapton was playing, it was the SOUND of those notes. There was a RICHNESS in this hard rock, a SWEETNESS! This wasn't music for boys only, this was music for EVERYBODY with genitals. It had such a weird effect on you, hearing this sound, you felt it in different parts of your body, your brain, your lower abdomen and your groin. Right after the set-up, after the richness, there's this bit of distortion in the guitar, you feel like you're in it for the long haul, to climax, four minutes hence.

Hearing "Sunshine Of Your Love" you had to buy "Disraeli Gears". And that's when you discovered it, the essence, opening side two.

Today the label picks the track, and what's left of radio takes instruction, it's all a CAMPAIGN, which you're AWARE OF! But listening to FM back then was like listening to XM today. Your relationship is with the DEEJAY! Not his voice, not his inane rap like on Sirius, but his CHOICES! That's why we love people, because of who they ARE! And when you heard "Tales Of Brave Ulysses" on the radio your life was made, the same way when Mike Marrone plays some obscure cut that only I thought I knew it makes my day.

One can argue quite strongly the first Cream album is the best. The sound isn't as good as "Disraeli Gears", but overall the songs are BETTER!

But after "Disraeli Gears", the songs got worse. Except for the unexpected "Badge", NOTHING was the caliber of what came before. Still, there was a huge hit on "Wheels Of Fire", a simple song, but one with a monster riff so exquisite that we were touched once again. It was just the SOUND of Clapton's guitar, it sounded like he was WEEPING! But then Ginger hit the drum, and Jack sang richly. Yes, as great as Clapton was, Jack's vocals were a key element of the band.

The dude who made available the MP3s of the Royal Albert Hall show left three out, the last three numbers of the concert. He hopped to, posted them on the site, and I just downloaded them, and heard "White Room".

I don't understand flying around the world to see a band. That's not what rock and roll is about. Rock and roll is about scraping up every dollar you've got, eating the equivalent of dog food just so you can AFFORD to go to the gig. The gig isn't an afterthought, ONE thing you can acquire, experience, but the ONLY thing!

While we were experiencing flower power in the U.S., the Brits were experiencing rain. The music from across the pond was different from ours. It wasn't sunny, it was dark. Made in the U.K., it was America's dark underbelly. It coexisted with Monkees hits. It was necessary, for balance.

Flying across the pond forty years later has NO darkness. Unless you saved up every last dollar you had and slept on the street in order to go.

And, going was SO much different then. You went ALL THE TIME! Because the tickets were CHEAP! Under five bucks. The concert experience wasn't about preferred parking and alcohol, it was about the MUSIC!

And that music can be heard in Cream's rendition of "White Room" on May 5th.

Eric gets that unique guitar sound. But really, it's Ginger's drums. You can hear the FEROCITY!

And then, on top of it all, in comes Jack.

Oh, he's singing along, all those words you remember. And then you hear it...

"I'll wait in this place where the sun never shines Wait in this place where the shadows run from themselves"

I'm waiting for this place to return. Where business trumps art. Where creativity is revered over music. Where the messiah returns.

Religious zealots think the messiah is going to come from heaven. Down to save us.

But I don't believe that. I don't believe in a higher power. I believe in people. Their ability to triumph, do the right thing, against incredible odds.

Here, just before the show is over, almost two hours into it, having deliv ered upon expectations, Cream FINALLY throws off the limitations and just RIPS! THIS is music-making. When you're no longer going by the rehearsal, when you're just WINGING IT! When you stop concentrating on being together, do your own thing and it all FALLS INTO PLACE!

And a little over halfway through the number, Eric finally takes center stage, he finally WAILS! Not in the way he has for the past thirty years, but the way he did with John Mayall, as a SIDEMAN! In the tradition of great bluesmen, he's taking his LICKS! He's just part of the club.

And all these years later, it's still a championship team.

How many of his letters start out with something about the sixties or the classic era being "different"?

Lefzetz meets Pitchfork, world implodes.

this guy's paragraph breaks are so psychotic.

someone needs to get the Pitchfork Reviews Reviews guy and Bob Lefsetz together

Have you heard of the Weeknd?

is this revive actually from 2011

Psychotic Paragraph Breaks would be a good name for a genre.

I still read his column all the time. Setting aside his stylistic tendencies towards a hranguing tone, I like his open, straightforward style, his siding with a certain kind of artist who doesn't particularly want to be a publicity hound, and his fairly enlightened and, these days, quite rare advice about the importance of concentrating on developing your craft over a long period of time. It's a tonic to all those 'Zap Pow Future Music Biz 2.0 Ideas Machine' type blogs. Also: how often do you get this forward looking, optimistic, rallying kind of pep talk from an avowed baby boomer? He recently he even got turned on to Deadmau5, which was a delightful thing to behold. So my view of him is that he's a character, and not without a certain uncanny capacity to hit on the important things to do with art and the creative process that get lost in the wake of internetty and publicity oriented stuff.

thing is even when he talks and talks about ART and CREATIVITY he still sounds like a suit who knows to pay lip service to those values as opposed to a serious music buff. also this is his idea of insight in October 2011:

Throw out all your twentieth century thinking.

There’s more ways to make money in music than selling discs.

But the old players can’t see this.

So they’re going to be left behind.

and his next line is

Ian Rogers never worked at a major label.

not at a label, but he he worked for a major label act for the first five years of his career, worked with major labels at Yahoo, and works with major label acts now. not to denigrate the dude's genuine forward-thinking in any way, but Lefsetz' point is offset by Rogers' cashflow having pretty much always originated at majors, no?

i always imagine this guy as looking like the monopoly guy, except dressed as a parrothead.

even when he has the occasional point there's not much sadder than people whose central motivation is making sure you know that whatever the kids believe, that's what they believe too

The 10,000 Hour Rule"
In Hamburg, we had to play for eight hours

He is so obsessed with this point from Gladwell's Outliers book regarding what you have to do to be good at something

does malcolm gladwell have a use besides blowing the minds of first year business majors?

You can turn him upside down and scrub out your toilet.

does malcolm gladwell have a use besides blowing the minds of first year business majors?

― the 500 gats of bartholomew thuggins (upper mississippi sh@kedown

You might be right, but he still writes for the New Yorker so more folks than just college kids quote him. A parent of a kid on my son's high school baseball team is frequently quoting him to me.

x-post-- yep that hair of Gladwell's is something

Today everybody's so into image, everybody's got such narrow tastes, but back then you could like Zeppelin AND Loggins & Messina. You were open to everything, we were all in it together.

I don't think this music is going to be remembered, there's not going to be a Loggins & Messina renaissance, but "Mother Lode" holds up. Play it on a long, dreary drive, you'll see your whole life unfold in front of you.

Yeah.

back then you could like Zeppelin AND Loggins & Messina.

people's taste seems so much broader to me than it ever was now

Jesus Christ people who fetishize the 70s AOR era will just always always be even more annoying than any other era-specific cheerleaders, which is a bummer, because buried amidst their starry-eyed walks down memory lane are some actually true things about that era and what made the records good (in short: more studio budget, engineers with more open ears i.e. dudes who weren't yet locked into a style, less tech to smooth out takes that needed to be redone)

(Have you heard Eminem recently?)

You were open to everything, we were all in it together.
lol that's great. the 70s, a time of great cultural unity.

lol otm

and fwiw loggins messina renaissance is already underway, come on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpmr9P2_K4g

so everyone is mad at lefsetz for this today: http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/

"I wasn’t sure what to do after Beyonce’s appearance, join a gym or masturbate." stupid line, and the guy is an awful writer, but i fail to see how this piece is sexist or racist. maybe it's because I personally can't stand Beyonce because I hate her music and everything about her. But I restrained myself from saying anything in person or online last night because I knew I'd get my head bitten off. I don't doubt the dude is a pudgy Boomer prick with an ancient outlook, but what about this piece is getting everyone so pissed off, aside from his dislike of Beyonce's performance?

another egregious line tho - "hip hop is full of attitude"

x-post

On what are you basing your suggestion that this piece is getting more people pissed at Leftsetz than other ones? Tweets? facebook? ???

I've read almost as much twitter vitriol on the subjext today as I read about the superbowl itself yesterday.

in addition to the masturbation thing this part was pretty sexist (and just gross generally in other ways:

Who do we blame? Madonna? Who invented a new paradigm and then went for a victory lap wherein she dieted down to nothing and spent hours a day working out? Do you think Adele works out? Ha!

"Do you think Adele works out?" Go fuck yourself, Lef.

"the Lumineers are bigger than Alicia Keys" Yikes.

but i fail to see how this piece is sexist or racist

you mean as in only one or the other?

lol j/k who cares what this nobody-guy writes on a blog

x-post -- Tweets About Beyonce or about Leftsetz re Beyonce?

Leftsetz has a huge mailing list of industry people and musicians who always seem to put up with his cluelessness

I saw Ned talking about it on twitter and then saw the deluge of music crits and randos going nuts...

@LauraSterritt I'm so so appreciating all of the men I'm seeing calling out Lefsetz's Beyonce post. Really heartwarming.

@1000TimesYes Everyone please quit calling the Lefsetz post "sexist." It's racist too!

@robmitchum So McCain and Lefsetz both committed social media suicide before noon today. This could turn out to be a pretty great week.

‏@randlechris lefsetz confused here. "ONLY MUSIC MATTERS" but if women made it you apparently prefer to write about their bodies with a pair of forceps?

@Marcissist Truth RT @maura hey bob @lefsetz: you are a gross sexist scumbag and the fact that anyone takes you seriously about anything is embarrassing

@lfitzmaurice The easy joke there is that Bob Lefsetz would be better off choosing the gym
^lol

@lfitzmaurice What RT @Lefsetz: Alicia Keys is the new Sheryl Crow. Showing up everywhere. Hey Alicia! There's a supermarket opening around the corner!

@killquilty if there's anything more infuriating than the lefsetz letter it's the lefsetz letter wasting time focusing on amanda palmer

@brandon_weigel @notrivia Couldn't get past the second sentence of Lefsetz's garbage.

The assertion that the Lumineers are bigger than Beyonce was pretty lol.

there's not one sentence of this that rings true at all.

I wasn’t sure what to do after Springsteen’s appearance, join a gym or masturbate. It was spectacle befitting the game, one could argue strongly it was more dynamic and exciting than the game. You had no desire to check your Twitter feed, all you could do was pay attention.

But how much did this have to do with music?

Who do we blame? Tom Petty? Who invented a new paradigm and then went for a victory lap wherein he embodied blue collar America in a tight t-shirt? Do you think Tom Petty works out? Ha!

Springsteen made Tom Petty look old. He proudly strutted his beefcake arms, in one fell swoop making a whole swath of America’s men feel good about themselves.

She proudly strutted her luscious thighs, in one fell swoop making a whole swath of America’s women feel good about themselves.

Stupid Beyonce liking ladies.

man I'm glad no one sexualizes Prince

x-post- you should send that Springsteen satire to Leftsetz

Scroll down to the previous Lefsetz Letter for pure Patrick Bateman vibes - an ode to Phil Collins' Face Value.

even the under-the-radar digs are just meaningless, like:

The thought of her drinking Pepsi is akin to believing Alicia Keys uses a BlackBerry!

uhh you can very well believe keys uses a blackberry. shitloads of people use them! she endorses them, right? (esp if lefsetz means "BB" as a stand-in for smartphones in general) and no, it doesn't make it more likely that beyonce drinks soda.

really annoying that i feel compelled to direct any brainpower toward this crap, but this guy is inexplicably influential

i saw the twitter hate but not the reason why til now. feel slightly unclean.

why DO people pay attention to this guy though?

For posterity, here's the link to the actual super bowl/beyonce post rather than his blog's generic url:
http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/2013/02/03/beyonce-at-the-super-bowl/

"She proudly strutted her luscious thighs, in one fell swoop making a whole swath of America’s women feel good about themselves." nvm somehow i missed this one, moronic and offensive. but. man i hate beyonce's music and thing.

...though i wonder if he really is. is there a term for people who don't advance thought in any way but have a career bravely telling people what they already think? it's not really 'influence' but, idk, management

Blame the CD, where subtlety doesn’t sound good.

you are totally illiterate about your own field of expertise, jesus

The pundit class?

Xpost

wish wcc had saved her powder for this dude

well of course, but i meant a succint term as opposed to 'influence'

"confluential" maybe, lol

people pay attention to him because the music industry, including the gameable bullshit awards like the grammys, are more about appealing to the executive wisdom and idiocy of the lefsetzes of the world than actually making music.

same old shit

Scroll down to the previous Lefsetz Letter for pure Patrick Bateman vibes - an ode to Phil Collins' Face Value.

He's not kidding. Sadly.

I'd say less influential than indicative of the type of people at the executive offices of music labels.

he reminds me of ~music matters man~ middle aged dudes on message boards everywhere (not just rock boards either, classical music boards too)-- there's always some invariably female pop star acting as an ideological bugbear for these ppl, fuck these assholes in the eye IMO. At one time it was Madonna, then it was the (always misspelled) 'Brittany' Spears, I'm seeing Katy Perry inveighed against a lot now...

keep scrolling down to where he links up amanda palmer and howard stern approvingly!! well, stopped clock i guess

The conflation of Madonna as a looks-only, no-longevity musical phenomenon that he's comparing Beyonce to falls completely flat when you realize Madonna is in her third decade in music and still relevant enough to be played regularly, even if newer material falls flat at the super bowl or whatever. Trying to make her performance about looks, and then saying that Beyonce succeeded on looks, is ridiculous.

Dude is a biased old sexist.

uhh you can very well believe keys uses a blackberry. shitloads of people use them! she endorses them, right? (esp if lefsetz means "BB" as a stand-in for smartphones in general) and no, it doesn't make it more likely that beyonce drinks soda. -goole

Not to defend Lefsetz, but I recall him quoting an older A. Keys article where she said she used an iphone and so he was critiquing her based on that prior usage. in addition to Leftsetz, others were commenting on her suddenly endorsing Blackberry after having been an iphone user (with her own designed iphone app too I think)

Jon Lewis OTM. The Steve Hoffman board is lousy with those schmoes.

huh all right. i could have figured. that's pretty damn dumb.

xp

His recent discovery of '90s techno was pretty funny. He circulated a playlist someone sent him with Moby on it

wonder if he thinks all the people in super bowl pepsi commercials actually drink pepsi all the time

I mean, other than beyonce

That seems dumber on Blackberry's part than Keys. Lol at the idea that the authenticity fetish extends even to product endorsements.

tbf Lefsetz reminds me of the brand-loyal old people who are wandering in trying to buy an RCA television or whatever because the one they had for the last thirty years was the best

Yes & no. He definately has that old-school mentality regarding certain values and certain styles of music but he is always boasting about how knowledgable he is on the latest tech, he happily praises Amanda Palmer for her online approach, and he dismisses the music industry for its stuck in the past ways regularly.

Great, so instead of 1974 he lives in 2004.

that old-school mentality regarding certain values and certain styles of music

RCA televisions

btw his traditional likes are kind of artistically and technologically bankrupt, too

he likes amanda palmer's online approach because she works in a more classical mode of composition and live arrangement

racism and sexism are timeless and really have nothing to do with whether he likes the Eagles or crowdsourcing or both.

the main way the music industry is stuck in the past is the idea that the heads of music labels, who themselves do not make music or tour at this time, are arbiters of taste and success in the music industry

these are also the only reasons people listen to him, assuming that experience is key over popular appeal and experience of those who regularly tour

i'm sure i said this on another thread, but he's got some kind of cossacks-work-for-the-czar mental error going on. his analysis is that it's "the industry" that's pushing all this bad CD-quality (lol) pop music (at once blander and more aggressive than is ideal) on "the people", who could not possibly like that music really, which is why the business is faltering. but "the internet" will allow new rabble-rouser/hustler types to reach the people directly, resulting in a hopeful return to dominance of AOR/MOR folk-pop with feelings.

well said

howard talked about this today and mentioned lefsetz. his take was "it was a dance recital more than a musical performance."

beyonce doesn't usually bookend her stadium shows with half a football game either, what the fuck do these guys think they're even talking about

They have a classic rock/ rockist mentality combined with sexism, and they like to be provocative. Lefsetz also keeps returning to certain themes of his that do not always make sense-- he suggests that we should never blame ticketmaster or the like for high ticket prices or shows selling out quickly because, according to him, the artist alone deserves the blame for not dictating a lower price to the ticket service and for not coming up with a special method of distribution that will allow more fans than scalpers to get the tickets. I think blame can be shared, but everything seems to be black or white to him.

wasn't it more of a dance recital than a musical performance tho

wasn't it more of a dance recital than a musical performance tho

No, it was not. There were talented musicians up there, performing under what I would imagine were really difficult conditions sound-wise (what's the monitor mix like at the fucking Super Bowl?). But no one's ever gonna talk about them. The guitarist had to shoot fucking sparks out of her guitar to get noticed at all.

he likes amanda palmer's online approach because she works in a more classical mode of composition and live arrangement

this isn't true, I don't think - Lefsetz's deal is basically to champion the internet as it was understood at the outset of social media, when Myspace was (briefly) the default mode of presentation. He's not terrifically interested in the nature of an artist's composition or their arrangement; he's old-school in the sense that what counts for him is success, hits, asses in seats.

talking about the talented musicians behind beyoncé: http://colorlines.com/archives/2013/02/but_what_about_beyonces_band.html

what's the monitor mix like at the fucking Super Bowl?

in-ear monitors p. much industry standard now tbqf

cool link lex!

weren't most of the tracks canned loops? certainly didn't sound live. i assumed the guitarist was playing to a track because of the sparks. then again i didn't watch the performance closely and basically had it in the background...had no idea she had a 10 piece band w her. im just gonna slink into this corner ...

Awesome; of a 10-piece band, four get spotlit (but not the drummer, which considering the rhythmic focus of Beyonce's music is a pretty glaring fucking omission), and/but the backup singers get their own YouTube video. Ha.

the "dance recital" "musical performance" thing is so confusing to me, in what way is dance not a musical performance and iirc the super bowl halftime show used to be like, puppet shows, so where is it written that singing has to take precedence over dance

xp the drummer got a few seconds on camera, i only noticed her and the guitarist

I feel like his embrace of technology is similar to how my parents love the XM radio and USB ports in their cars but only use them to listen to classical stations and ripped CDs of Moody Blues albums.

trying to pretend the super bowl is anything other than a theatrical performance is ridiculous

I stand corrected on my take on his interest in seeing traditional songwriting and performance after discovering a tweet about him chilling w/Skrillex's dad: "He's proud. He should be"

I hope the MBV album sells a billion copies, forcing this doofus to write some reactionary "kids today" piece.

i'm not like a beyonce super fan or w/e but goddamn what in god's fuck more could you possibly want out of a superbowl halftime show????

People playing instruments that you can also masturbate to?

What's Marah up to these days?

chillin' in philly

Oh shut up with your cliches:

And you know what's great about Bourbon Street? The people! They haven't got ugly, lumpy, imperfect people in Los Angeles, they're stopped at the border, like in "The Grapes Of Wrath." But here in Louisiana I came in contact with the real America, one that descends to the southern tip of our country to let loose, because while those on the coast are pursuing their career dreams, those in the middle know it's about having fun, and that's what you do in New Orleans, party.

Sub "Sixth Street", "Texas", and "Austin" in the appropriate places and he probably published the same thing about SxSW.

Is Lefsetz allowed in any cities by that criteria

They haven't got ugly, lumpy, imperfect people in Los Angeles, they're stopped at the border

http://www.internationalmusicsummit.com/img/speakers/picture/detail/bob_lefsetz-300x300-18.jpg

did I never drop my Lefsetz is Vizzini science itt?

?

please do

getting taken by bourbon street in 2013, yeah...

His post also described his love for some lame jamband he saw at Jazzfest.

it's so weird when ppl say stuff like that i wonder if they've ever been to L.A., there are all kinds of normal looking people in los angeles

Leftsetz lives in L.A. but apparently never looks around or in the mirror

Lesfetz spends all of his time poolside at the Chateau Marmont iirc

Lefsetz is the drummer for Gay Dad.

Oh hold on... His latest email wasn't even thinly veiled racist diatribe. Let the games commence...

i saw this one recently and i was just awestruck by how dumb this guy is

http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/2013/05/10/are-foodies-quietly-killing-rock-and-roll/

lol

he is the brains of the music industry, of this I am sure

it was funny cuz it was someone on twitter who was like "Great stuff from Lefsetz as usual" and I just glanced and assumed it was an ILXor being snarky so I tweeted back "lol" but I think they were being serious :/

even better imo

"Lefsetz daft punk"
About 47,100 results (0.34 seconds)

Howard Stern always goes on and on and on about this dude.

Was “Gangnam Style” a fake?

You’ll think so after reading this article. If nothing else, you’ll learn how to rig the game. That’s what today’s media manipulators do, make you think you’re living in your own self-created world when the truth is you lived in a walled Disneyland, where your odds of building a ride are bupkes.

Bupkes!

His instant pronouncements make me wanna do a SNL "really"

And I realized everybody was smoking because I saw them out last night in Piccadilly Circus. I'm used to L.A., where there is no nightlife, where everything interesting is happening at home, and you're not invited. But there's definitely a scene in London, and it's not only there.

Have you seen “Book Of Mormon”? There’s a tribal chief with a name so OUT THERE, so OFFENSIVE, so SWEAR WORD, that I cannot use it in this e-mail, or you won’t get it.

Yup, I love to use the F-word. But I can’t. Because too many of you work for uptight corporations with spam filters that won’t let that word through. Yup, you think you’re so hip, that you’re not like your parents, that you’re open-minded and accepting. But the truth is so many are still on the treadmill of life, working for the man, and we depend upon artists to show us the light, to question convention, to stretch our minds, to show us the POSSIBILITIES!

lefsetz on a recent stones concert is a+

It’s weird, because as buzzed as the audience was before the show, during it they were relatively sedate, there were no peaks, until Lisa Fischer sang Merry Clayton’s part.

War, CHILDREN!

Lisa’s the star of “Twenty Feet From Stardom” and she’s the star of the first half of the Stones show too. She misses not a note, her voice is so powerful, she exudes the sex in rock and roll that Mick Jagger can’t, since he’s dieted down to nothing, you can almost see his bones. What a sentence that must be, being unable to eat so you can fulfill the image of your audience, which has aged itself.

Hell, Lisa was not svelte, but if you think sex is about appearances, you’ve never done it. It’s about a spirit inside. And Lisa evidenced hers.

this guy is just so unbelievably dumb i think i'm getting kind of obsessed w/him

yeah who the hell isn't hate-reading him at this point

is his primary reader-base just bitter past-prime industry folk who miss the 90s?

or are they even older?

feel like it's mostly business mag readers who don't know much abt music (industry)

or miss the late '60s I would say. But he's got Kid Rock emailing him and lots of American music performers and supporters emailing him and other industry biz insiders. There was a big Washington Post profile of him awhile back that got into describing his readership a bit, I recall.

Americana I meant

He was a music biz attorney himself

why can't mick jagger embrace his inner curviness?!!

yeah i miss the voluptuous, busty mick jagger of the 1960s

my god he's bony now! Bony!

he's like a skeleton oh my god we're all going to die someday

the most LOL thing about the whole stones thing is that it's like a backup singer's big boobs gave him a boner and he turns it into some PROFOUND POINT ABOUT LIFE, it's that lefsetz magic maaaan

he's just someone's mean parody of a boomer

http://images.fanpop.com/images/polls/52210_1202984064989_100.jpg?v=1202983828
http://images.fanpop.com/images/polls/52210_1202984092469_100.jpg?v=1202983828
http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/wp-content/themes/lefsetzletter/author.jpg
http://images.fanpop.com/images/polls/52210_1202984110047_100.jpg?v=1202983828
http://www.goobertech.net/gallery2/34761/49842356_l.jpg

i saw this one recently and i was just awestruck by how dumb this guy is

http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/2013/05/10/are-foodies-quietly-killing-rock-and-roll/

― jay-z's ansari (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, May 14, 2013 8:54 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

late to this one, but

There are no restaurant business schools that I’m aware of.

that is probably because you are as dumb as a bag of rocks, bob.

Going to the show is expensive. But food has gone downmarket. You can eat gourmet at a food truck for under ten bucks. Try seeing a music star live for that price.

I guess 'star' is the operative word in there but ... lol.

There is eating at a food truck and then there is going to Le Bernardin. There is going to a dive bar and then there is going to a big stadium show.

oh man that whole thing is amazing.

In other words, as Bob Dylan sang, “He not busy being born is busy dying.” Quote me some lyrics from today’s artists.

Point proven.

The LEF is tweeting from Ibiza!!!!

Bob Lefsetz ‏@Lefsetz 24 May

Listening to Sven Vath. Great insight and honesty. English not his first language, but he expresses better than most Americans. #imsibiza

There's nothing that I love more than a fat old 60 something dude from LA regurgitating the same hackneyed wonder about Ibiza that my fucked up student friends did 20 years ago.
Talk about being on the ball...

Sven Vath! Richie Hawtin! All night parties! The Beach! E!

friends with Angelina Jolie!!!!!!!

http://www.examiner.com/article/angelina-jolie-former-bodyguard-claims-she-has-an-imaginary-friend-named-lefsetz?cid=taboola_inbound

did I never drop my Lefsetz is Vizzini science itt?

― Fred by Durst (The Reverend), Thursday, May 2, 2013 11:47 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

?

― jay-z's ansari (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, May 3, 2013 6:42 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

please do

― curmudgeon, Friday, May 3, 2013 7:05 AM Bookmark

Vizzini from The Princess Bride! He looks like Vizzini and you can read all of his posts in #vizzinivoice and they work perfectly.

lol

"At first, Lefsetz was a dog, then turned into a cat, then into an elephant, then an alien, and now is a full-blooded imaginary human."

Bob Lefsetz came to Minneapolis!!! I didn't see him...but he came here...and learned....something.....about....something i guess.

Minneapolis

It’s cold here!

I could feel it in the gap between the jetway and the plane, the blast of not quite frigid air that told me I was not in California anymore.

What’s interesting about the new connected world is that you can live anywhere. Once upon a time, if you weren’t in L.A. or New York you were off the grid. The outskirts were a good place to raise children, but chances were you were never going to be anything more than a big fish in a small pond.

But those days are history. The Internet works everywhere. As does cable TV. You can be hip anywhere. As well as completely out of it in the metropolis. With the onslaught of information chances are some kid in his basement in the midwest is much more savvy than you are on the coast. Which is why Spotify can be started in Stockholm, where the broadband speeds dwarfed those in the United States. That’s what we all desire these days, a fast connection. That’s why you must upgrade from your iPhone 4 or 4s to a 5, for the LTE. It’s like surfing at home. Well, a U.S. home.

And there are rich people everywhere. We’re driving along the banks of the Mississippi (I know how to spell it because of the song!) and on the St. Paul side are manses so big and beautiful, that you contemplate moving.

Not that Minneapolis was ever backward. It was always hip.

But always cold.

But the one thing they don’t tell you is that just as cold as it is in the winter, that’s how hot it is in the summer!

And since the advent of global warming, it’s not as cold as it used to be, but everything’s relative.

And where did I learn about Minnesota?

College! Going to school with Dodd Cosgrove, whose father ran Jolly Green Giant, and the kids from Wayzata, they taught me how to pronounce it!

And “The Heartbreak Kid.” Forget the remake, the initial Charles Grodin flick is incredible. The final scene is priceless, when he’s in Minnesota, giving his spiel to the blue bloods, this Jewish sporting goods retailer… But the highlight is the beach scene, where Grodin lays his towel down amidst endless sand and suddenly feels a shadow… And he looks up and it’s Cybill Shepherd saying “You’re lying in my spot!” That’s what all males are looking for, a female to say we’re lying in their spot. For all the machismo, most men are weak. If you’re waiting for the man to move first, you’re gonna wait a very long time, if not forever. Want a date with a guy? CALL HIM!

Or text him or e-mail him or…

Wendy, that’s my sister, is a Facebook addict. I asked how the population was over there. She said in the last year so many have dropped out. I’m about done with Twitter, because I post and get no reaction, it’s too frustrating. As for Facebook, I only play with a fake name, looking up those I used to know.

And the colors! We don’t get them in Los Angeles. Even Colorado is not the same thing. But Minneapolis is like the east coast, and I’ve hit it perfectly, at its peak, when the trees are blazing and the leaves are still on.

And we’re driving across the bridge and Wendy laments that winter is coming. How does she know? The clouds! They’re flat, not puffy. The long tunnel is beginning.

And we drove under the new Guthrie, with its cantilever over the roadway.

And we saw the bridge that fell… In a cannot do nation, it was inspiring to see the replacement. It’s lit up at night. Thoroughfare as celebration. And there’s a memorial to the fallen. I got out and looked at the blue columns, with a short bio for each of the deceased.

And I know David Byrne is railing about the Internet. And Thom Yorke has doubled down on his hatred of Spotify. And track sales are dropping, because of YouTube streaming, if nothing else. And once upon a time we bought records, then tapes, then CDs, then MP3s and now…everything is available at our fingertips. It used to be important to get an iPhone, now a Samsung Galaxy is good enough. The tech comes and goes.

But the people, the culture, the society, remain.

They know that in Minneapolis.

man that's really something

it really is something that you wrote there, bob

we know that in minneapolis

we do

That’s what all males are looking for, a female to say we’re lying in their spot.

The fall foliage does look really good right now, I think cuz we had a dry summer? Is that how it works?

Internet seems to still be working as well.

this literally might be the most incoherent thing i've ever read

I’m about done with Twitter

just a guy thinking bout minneapolis...

I can't believe he didn't mention Prince, who is apparently an artist of some note from this area who doesn't get a lot of press

ever heard the replacements man? they wrote songs from the heart...songs about regular guys down and out in a dive bar, scrappin it out in the midwest, not about fancy parties with supermodels in los angeles

if you haven't i recommend you start with "Gary Got a Boner"

did Dodd Cosgrove play keys in Lipps Inc or do i have that wrong

from his wiki - good poll potential:

In 2007, Lefsetz and Kid Rock engaged in an email feud but have since reconciled. [5][6][7]

In 2009, Lefsetz and Kiss bassist Gene Simmons exchanged insults via e-mail and in person at the Canadian Music Week conference, and they debated officially at the Royal York Hotel in Toronto.[8] [9]

In 2010, Taylor Swift wrote the song Mean, reputedly in response to Lefsetz's accusation after her 2010 Grammy performance that she uses Auto-Tune. [10]

In 2013, Lesfetz visited Minneapolis.

In 2014, Lefsetz became done with Twitter (projected).

so how DO you pronounce Wayzata?

In 2028, Lefstez stood on a street corner yelling that President-Elect Swift once wrote a song about him (projected).

no wonder the record industry loves lefsetz if he keeps getting into fights with artists that are exceptionally good at playing the record industry

he stands for all the davids who dare to face the royalty-seeking goliaths

sleeve: why-ZET-uh

excellent school district!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Giant

i wonder if lefsetz has heard this?

In 1963, a 7" 33rp lp record,"When Pea Pickers get together" was released. Side 1 was a medley of popular country songs, while side 2 was the story of how Tennessee Ernie Ford and the Jolly Green Giant collaborated on writing his signature TV song, narrated and sung by Tennessee Ernie Ford. The jacket for the record gives the official "biography" of the Jolly Green Giant.

i worked at a green giant canning factory one summer

Wayzata Ryder

1953, Connecticut April 22, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is born
2007, Lefsetz, at the age of 50-something, begins blogging
In 2007, Lefsetz and Kid Rock engage in an email feud but reconcile
In 2009, Lefsetz and Kiss bassist Gene Simmons exchange insults via e-mail and in person at the Canadian Music Week conference, and they debate officially at the Royal York Hotel in Toronto.
In 2010, Taylor Swift wrote the song Mean, reputedly in response to Lefsetz's accusation after her 2010 Grammy performance that she uses Auto-Tune.
1985, Austrian rock singer Falco records ... Rock Me Amadeus!

Ha, I fucked that up, but probably because I amused myself so much while I was putting it together. Salieri version!

Sadness.

You don't hear it in hip-hop.

You don' hear it in Katy Perry's music, wherein she's roaring about girl power.

That makes me sad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stgrSjynPKs

"Shift Chris Barron or girls break units, sell-by date."-BobBot

x-post re sadness, I left out a line

And I will say at points in this video Miley Cyrus is oversinging, but there's a subtle element, a quality of that summertime sadness.

Sadness.

You don't hear it in hip-hop.

have we talked about this twitter? i'm a big fan: https://twitter.com/fakeboblefsetz

FOLLOWED

fake account is amazing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWR01JcSIGI

The Lef is just riffin' here, gang.

http://variety.com/2013/biz/news/katy-perrys-prism-a-good-example-of-how-albums-dont-work-anymore-1200824933/

i clicked on this article without knowing it was by lefsetz and got halfway through it before i was like 'this is horseshit, it sounds like lefsetz' and looked at the byline

Lol first sentence he says in that q&a "I don't believe in self-promotion."

the part where he's telling a story about "hanging with" the former head of mtv and having a bangladeshi-taxi-style revelation that people don't listen to the radio anymore, and he suddenly pauses to say "you done with your call?" to an insufficiently respectful conferencegoer, is top-tier lefsetz

i'll give an example. irving azoff again. let's go back ten years. steve jobs wants the eagles. UP HIS BUTT UNBELIEVABLY, ok? i buy a computer, i got a problem with it, i call irving. "get ahold of steve," ok? and he says, i can't get him on the phone since i made the eagles deal. that's the way it works.

lefsetz waxes rhapsodic on the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees - Lefsetz in extremis, a document to be parsed by future generations

Hallelujah, they finally get it right.

I’m not saying Yes doesn’t belong inside, and Deep Purple for the riff to “Smoke On The Water” alone, but it’s been years since there was no controversy and everyone agreed.

Except for maybe Kiss.

But the point is there’s no hip-hop, no jazz, no Madonna, no questionables like Patti Smith, everyone is deserving and it’s about time.

NIRVANA

No questions asked. An automatic.

Let this be a lesson to the industry, that we should focus on individuals as opposed to money and commitments. If so, Kurt Cobain would be alive today.

Just try going on the road. Playing to an adoring throng and then getting in the bus with the same dudes you’ve known since high school, trying to come down to do it all over again. It takes drugs. And if you’re doing drugs it’s just a matter of time until you die.

Kurt was pushed too hard. And felt so alone. That’s the conundrum of stardom, oftentimes you’re the only one left inside, the world spins around you and you’re frequently oblivious.

I know nothing about his death you don’t, but I will say this guy had an ability to fuse melody and punk in a way that the public just could not resist. Add in the ability to emote with his voice and you have possibly the last rock superstar.

Not that Krist and Dave didn’t help. But there are only a few true superstars, and Kurt Cobain was one of them.

Come as you are. Please. Don’t dress up. Don’t make a deal with a fashion house. Don’t do endorsements. Keep it punk.

That’s why we believed in Nirvana. Because Kurt believed in rock and roll. Too bad he won’t be at the induction ceremony.

CAT STEVENS

And where do the children play?

He wrote “The First Cut Is The Deepest” before anybody knew who he was.

Ditto “Trouble,” featured in the classic “Harold and Maude.”

And if you didn’t play “Tea For The Tillerman” incessantly, you weren’t alive. Back when rock was a state of mind more than a sound. Yes, Cat Stevens was truly rock and roll.

As for becoming a Muslim… Story is he committed himself to God after nearly drowning. Near-death experiences will change you. And at least he’s still alive.

The albums got worse as time went on. But there were so many hits, such a sound, that this guy would be successful in any era.

He might not have found that “Hard Headed Woman,” but we were enraptured by his search.

The hit was “Wild World,” but “Sad Lisa” was so seventies, so great, when you didn’t have to boast and play to the last row, but could be intimate, to the point where we were all leaning in.

But my favorite track on “Tea For The Tillerman” is the closer, the title cut, only a bit longer than a minute, you had no choice but to drop the needle on the LP and listen to it again.

PETER GABRIEL

The road less taken.

He quit Genesis just when the band was getting traction.

And the third solo album is the best, with “Biko,” but he’s never done anything you can shrug your shoulders at and say NEXT!

Too much talent, it’s too bad he’s not still making new, original music. But the problem is the audience is not ready for it. But Gabriel has got a hard core of fans possibly exceeding those of any other act on this list, in intensity if not numbers. Proving you can shoot high instead of dumbing it down.

Wanna tip? Listen to “Secret World Live,” one of the top ten live albums ever, one which no one seems to know about. Especially the extended versions of “Secret World” and “In Your Eyes.”

But it all comes down to “Solsbury Hill.”

I was feeling part of the scenery

Alienation. It’s the essence of rock and roll. If these people could fit in, play on the football team, date a cheerleader, we’d never have this exquisite greatness.

I walked right out of the machinery

That’s what we all did. We weren’t best friends with our parents, they were clueless, we were forging our own path.

My heart going boom, boom, boom

Do you feel alive? Too many are somnambulant. But the best music wakes us up.

Hey,’ he said ‘Grab your things
I’ve come to take you home’

Here we go! Pack up your old kit bag. We’re gonna go down the rabbit hole of rock and roll. To the Fillmore, to Woodstock, to the arena, to the stadium, not every once in a while, but all the time, because rock and roll was the most important thing in our lives, superior to our automobiles, more important than technology.

We’re going home.

Just put on the record and…LISTEN!

LINDA RONSTADT

Oh baby don’t it feel like heaven right now
Don’t it feel like something from a dream

The waiting truly is the hardest part. The fact that Linda Ronstadt wasn’t inducted upon initial eligibility is a travesty. That she had to get sick for these moribund men to vote her in… These same men who jerked off to her, who didn’t even need a picture, who could just close their eyes, because she was just that ubiquitous, everyone knew the cute style icon the men wanted to impress and the girls wanted to befriend. Linda Ronstadt was the seventies’ biggest female rock star. Hell, only Zeppelin and the Eagles were in her league. But men hate letting the women inside. Then again, Linda never begged. She snorted cocaine and screwed the desirable people just like the guys. Which is why she was always an insider and the idiots on this committee are not. Because musicians comprise a club, and the fans are not included, not the critics, only the writers, players and singers. They’re who we want to be. And inside the inner sanctum…it’s all jokes and references and life in a lane so fast only the strong survive.

If I were Linda Ronstadt I’d give the R&RHOF the middle finger and refuse to show up.

But she will.

And I know she won’t be conciliatory. I know she’ll tell it like it is. She’s not afraid to be three dimensional, to speak her truth, which is why she’s a star and you’re not.

HALL & OATES

You’re a rich girl, and you’ve gone too far
‘Cause you know it don’t matter anyway
You can rely on the old man’s money
You can rely on the old man’s money
It’s a bitch girl, but it’s gone too far

To hear this sound emanating from the radio was…enough to make you drive immediately to buy the album, “Bigger Than Both Of Us,” which it truly was. Hall & Oates went from obscurity to superstardom. Even better, after falling all the way back down, even having to play clubs, they came all the way back, with the infectious “You Make My Dreams” and so much more…

It was the “Royals” of yesteryear. You only had to hear a few notes.

What I want you’ve got
Though it might be hard to handle

Yes, it was hard for the wannabes of the twenty first century to admit how much talent the band actually had, how good a voice Daryl Hall possessed. This isn’t yacht rock, unless the term represents something so good it rains down money to the point where you can buy one!

Hall & Oates are so good.

Come on, who had that many hits.

And now they’ve got this victory lap. This inclusion. Just when they’d given up on it.

Because the sound has been burgeoning, become deafening. Hell, who wouldn’t want to be invited to Daryl’s house?

KISS

Induct Bill Aucoin. Come on, if you’re including Brian Epstein and my buddy Andrew Loog Oldham, without whom there’d be no Beatles or Stones, Aucoin deserves to be in too, for without him there’d be no Kiss.

Which might be okay.

But still, even I will admit I liked “Rock And Roll All Nite.” It was a band for those who missed the sixties. And despite Gene Simmons being the number one blowhard in music, the guy with no sense of humor about himself, they had a string of hits.

My favorite?

LICK IT UP!

Don’t wanna wait ’til you know me better

This is the ESSENCE of Motley Crue, which played Kiss’s role in the MTV eighties. Come on, let’s throw off our inhibitions, take off our clothes in this pre-AIDs era and have some fun!

You gotta live like you’re on vacation

Before the baby boomers, life was boring. A sentence. But rock and roll said NO MAS! Fun is the one thing that money can’t buy. Except a ticket to the show. Where the amps are big and powerful and the songs are known by heart and you’re amongst your brethren and there’s nowhere you’d rather be.

So…LICK IT UP!

Come on. Life is short. Discover what you’re into, and go full bore, to the max. This is what all of the above inductees did. They didn’t play it safe, have a fall back position, they just went for greatness.

And we followed them.

P.S. The E Street Band. My only point is if we’re gonna induct them, how about the rest of the backup bands? This is b.s., evidence that the R&RHOF is east coast-centric, driven by Jann Wenner and Jon Landau and the holier than thou who think we’re listening.

We are not. You don’t have to be inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame to mean something to people. You just have to reach deep down inside and throw your innermost feelings down on wax. Do it right, and it’s life itself.

That’s rock and roll.

Rock ain’t money… Unless you’re peeling off hundreds to pay hotel damages.

Rock ain’t awards… If you need a Grammy to justify your existence, you lead a sorry little life.

Rock is about ATTITUDE! And SOUND!

Are you willing to do it your way? Not worried about what anybody says? Whether it be Simon Cowell or Doug Morris or Dr. Luke? Are you willing to piss all over the powers-that-be, stand up and lead?

Then you’re ready to rock and roll.

And I’ve only got one message for you. Go straight down to Guitar Center, buy that Les Paul or Stratocaster, and plug it into that Marshall or Fender and TURN IT UP!

Drive your parents crazy.

It’s not about tattoos.

It’s not about clothing.

It’s about what’s inside!

It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll.

But if you do…we wanna party with you all night and every day.

You show us everything you’ve got
You keep on dancing and the room gets hot
You drive us wild, we’ll drive you crazy

Yes, there’s no rock and roll without an audience.

You keep on shouting, you keep on shouting

I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day

I certainly do. And so do you.

And there’s no better place to start than with the above inductees. If you’re not happy with these acts, if you don’t want to listen to their music, I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU!

genius!

*the essence of genius

But the point is there’s no hip-hop, no jazz, no Madonna, no questionables like Patti Smith, everyone is deserving and it’s about time.

*closes tab*

Can't tell if that is an Onion article or not. Ha, almost quoted that exact thing

Just try going on the road. Playing to an adoring throng and then getting in the bus with the same dudes you’ve known since high school, trying to come down to do it all over again. It takes drugs. And if you’re doing drugs it’s just a matter of time until you die.

it's going to take me....a while to get over this pararaph

if you can't see that N.W.A. is more "rock n roll" than Cat Stevens, then you don't deserve to listen to music, have opinions, or write emails

That...Ronstadt...thing.

I just clicked over to his thoughts on Beyonce's album release strategy and they're unsurprisingly horrifying

haha is he always like this? this is fantastic, like a combination of robert evans, larry king, and a hard rock cafe t-shirt.

It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll.

But if you do…we wanna party with you all night and every day.

fucking poetry

P.S. The E Street Band. My only point is if we’re gonna induct them, how about the rest of the backup bands?

They inducted six backup bands just last year.

robert evans, larry king, and casey kasem.

Come as you are. Please. Don’t dress up. Don’t make a deal with a fashion house. Don’t do endorsements. Keep it punk.

That’s why we believed in Nirvana. Because Kurt believed in rock and roll. Too bad he won’t be at the induction ceremony.

http://ionetheurbandaily.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/moreno-crying-gif.gif

Wow... Even by Notorious L.E.F. standards that is a humdinger!

There's something so horrifying about his favorite KISS song being Lick it Up

Come on, who in their right mind would start a record label? Only a delusional young fart, wet behind the ears and too stupid to go to business school.

delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet delusional young fart, wet

I might leave the browser on my phone on this thread all day, just to re-read sentences here and there. I want to stage a dramatic reading of that post, it's incredible.

He reminds me so much of Jackie Harvey at the Onion. It's as if he's learned about music through a game of whisper down the line.

"Kurt Coltrane, one of the greatest of rock talents, was ignored during the brief span of his life, but his band Nirvherder's one album album with outlive us all. Kudos, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, for giving your highest honor to one of earth's true ALL STARS."

"Finally, the Hall gets it right by inducting one of the great all-female rock bands, KISS, NOT because they are female, but because they are AWESOME! Yes, a man could have come up with the lick to "Lick It Up," and may have even done it BETTER, but then it would not have been KISS. Kudos, Rock Hall, for synching your monthly cycle to this INCREDIBLE band of double x chromosome rockers."

"Peter Gumball, formerly of the progressive-rock act Ingenious, deserves to be inducted for his hit single "Steam" alone, but it's his work on "Take Me Home" by former drummer Phil Collen (of White Leppard) that seals the deal."

These same men who jerked off to her

Daryl Hall, the Lorde of yesteryear

Haha yeah only Big L would cop to a furious mid 70s "Blue Bayou" inspired jack off sesh in his Rock n Roll Hall of Fame piece

There's almost no point parsing that shit, but he calls Motley Crue the Kiss of the '80s right after citing 1983's "Lick It Up" as his favorite Kiss song.

Also, he cites "Lick It Up" as his favorite.

the irony of a man so fond of using caps-lock failing to capitalize all four letters of AIDS, it's beautiful

Before the baby boomers, life was boring.

"And inside the inner sanctum…it’s all jokes and references and life in a lane so fast only the strong survive." = ILM?

Hall & Oates are so good.

Woah, better dumb it down a bit there, poindexter.

And if you didn’t play “Tea For The Tillerman” incessantly, you weren’t alive.
And if you didn’t play “Tea For The Tillerman” incessantly, you weren’t alive.
And if you didn’t play “Tea For The Tillerman” incessantly, you weren’t alive.
And if you didn’t play “Tea For The Tillerman” incessantly, you weren’t alive.

i wonder what it's like to feel this bad about the end of the monoculture

drive your parwnts crazy indeed

But he tries to convince himself that he's hip and with it because he watches stuff on Youtube and because he snears at anyone who thinks Spotify should pay more in royalties

it's so hilarious, his one and only observation is the same old "death of the album" stuff you've heard 10 million times in the last decade, but he keeps shouting it like he's the only one who ever had the thought...

There's something so horrifying about his favorite KISS song being Lick it Up

― My Chief Keef Keef (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Friday, December 20, 2013 1:11 AM (10 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

Alienation. It’s the essence of rock and roll. If these people could fit in, play on the football team, date a cheerleader, we’d never have this exquisite greatness

But then in the very next section:

Linda never begged. She snorted cocaine and screwed the desirable people just like the guys. Which is why she was always an insider and the idiots on this committee are not

So wait, then the "idiots on the committee" are closer to the essence of rock and roll?

http://s29.postimg.org/ldewsogbb/lefsetz_up.jpg

I want to stage a dramatic reading of that post, it's incredible.

this would be monumental, so there for this

xp LOOOOOOOOOOL

When I first skimmed this, I laughed.

As I read excerpts posted here, it's morphed from being funny to being pathetic and mildly terrifying.

lol whenever you think the guy can't outdo himself... he delivers!
it is funny though, when nirvana came out were dudes like lefsetz like "oh yeah, here's some real rock n roll!" or were they more likely saying "why can't kids listen to this eric clapton unplugged record"

Come as you are. Please. Don’t dress up. Don’t make a deal with a fashion house. Don’t do endorsements. Keep it punk.

It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll.

But if you do…we wanna party with you all night and every day.

Wonder if he realizes the first line is from AC DC?

it is so weird to me that ppl read what this guy writes

http://www.inflexwetrust.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/IFWT_Bob-Lefsetz.png

KEEP IT PUNK

basically I read this and then I understand why people watch Duck Dynasty

"before the baby boomers, life was boring" is like "no man, no problem": a person suddenly made clear

It was the “Royals” of yesteryear. You only had to hear a few notes.

this is my favorite line right now

"As for becoming a Muslim… Story is he committed himself to God after nearly drowning. Near-death experiences will change you. And at least he’s still alive."

am I imagining the tone here

i read this on my phone at about 1:30 am last night, pretty sure my neighbors are gonna get me evicted now from going WHAT at the top of my lungs

Let this be a lesson to the industry, that we should focus on individuals as opposed to money and commitments. If so, Kurt Cobain would be alive today.

like, right here, to start

i read this

your first mistake

Story is he committed himself to God after nearly drowning not playing Tea for the Tillerman incessantly.

i heard it was wonderful. and it was true.

lmao

#keepitpunk

daryl's house looks freezing cold, imo.

So it looks like ol' Bob has realized something and is aggrieved.

http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/2013/12/21/dealing-with-hate/

thx bob for Amplifying the Hate and introducing me to FakeBobLefsetz

a 1,000-word response to the haters, explaining why it's important to never respond to the haters

"The hate might be clever, but clever never lasts"

Clever never lasts... Stupid though? Stupid lasts a lifetime.

dunno, I feel like when I hate someone I actively avoid being in conversations with them

Lol at the fan logic. If I am so terrible, then why do so many follow me?

this makes me so happy, you have no idea

a subliminal trip to nowhere

would it be tactless to make this into a poll

I want to gently put my hand on his shoulder and say, "Bob, who are you trying to convince? Me? Or you?" and wait for him to weep copiously.

an optimistic pussy who is afraid of their shadow

I don't think I understand this bit, but it's a very striking phrase

I want to gently put my hand on his shoulder and say, "Bob, who are you trying to convince? Me? Or you?" and wait for him to weep copiously.

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, December 23, 2013 2:33 PM (28 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

...and then when he does, you go full drill sergeant, "Linda Ronstadt never weeped! She never begged! She snorted cocaine and screwed the desirable people just like the guys! She didn't sit there weep like a little...fucking...girl!"

bob throws in for the revolution! http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/2014/02/14/roger-goodells-pay/

But whatever power I have pales in comparison to that of musical artists. They’re the most powerful people in the world. They have bigger followings than the President!

But they refuse to step up. Neither in words nor actions.

meanwhile

Flappy Bird is more addictive than anything on Bowie’s new record.

And isn’t it funny that the biggest hits of the year were by guys in helmets from France and a barely adolescent girl/woman from New Zealand? Oh, forget about “Blurred Lines,” it was a remake of a Marvin Gaye track.

This is like Paul being dead.

girl/woman

Did you get the memo on Flappy Bird? Did you know to download it?

I certainly didn’t. Then again, I’m not into mobile video games. But rather than appeal to me, the developer ignored those who did not care. He just uploaded it to the app store and it took off!

Maybe there’s more, how the hell would I know.

soul-deadening xenophobic hatemail is truly the future of music

misunderstood that and was like man that's a lil harsh on bob's Letters

This dude reads like he took a correspondence course in how to be a blogger.

http://www.2asuccessdreamblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/51NCQbrbElL._BO2204203200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-clickTopRight35-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg

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ha no just the shit nguyen got

how does this guy make rent, though? anybody know?

a lot of people really do respect him a lot so I'd guess he gets consulting work

The Bob dude? I bet his blog generates plenty of ad cash.

there are no visible ads on his site - it's a wordpress page. the only link is to mozilla.org - I don't see any ad money? could be wrong

I think he gets used as a consultant to labels because of his amazing depth of knowledge

I guess maybe? mystifying to me to imagine labels hiring consultants in 2014

tremendous profile/interview here for fellow obsessives

Do you write in a stream of consciousness?
I view it as Jackson Pollock action painting. I get inspired and I throw it all down. My basic policy is that I re-read everything twice before I sent it. I clean up (spelling) mistakes, wrong tenses, lack of clarity but I do not change the content. I realized after doing this so long that if I change anything I fuck it up.

Occasionally, if I am in a rush or if I get inspired or a story is hot, I will only reread it once. Then there's always some minor thing, like a wrong tense, that makes me crazy.

god he's amazing

Maybe there’s more, how the hell would I know.

I had just barely stopping giggling about that one and now I'm back on it, it's just incredible

Somehow Patti Smith fits their criteria (for R&R Hall of Fame). She just wasn't a great musical act. Her biggest track was written by Bruce Springsteen.

that's "with" Bruce Springsteen, Mr. Smarts

Call me Ishmael. Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off - then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the ocean with me. Maybe there's more, how the hell would I know.

THE END

have we discussed his live debate w gene simmons

full thing with regular annoying audio dropouts here

the dumb thing is that he's arguing with gene simmons, because if any band could be seen as the pioneer of a band as a brand - merchandising, films, comics, big live tours etc - it was kiss

You could have just gone full-stop after

the dumb thing is that he's arguing with gene simmons

lol ok fair enough

upper miss are we friends on fb I lose track of people's names

Yep!

Since Robert Plant does not want to tour with Led Zep, Lefsetz wants them to tour with the singer from Train

^ the greatest sentence I have ever read in my life

lesfetz otm

Drops of Jupiter running down my leg...

did he spell it with all-caps like TRAIN?

Is that real Bob Lefsetz or Fake Bob Lefsetz?

Real, I get the emails. it's not on his website yet. His website has stuff like:

The Allman Brothers were our EDM.

i saw Train as an opening act right after their first album came out and they played "Ramble On," they seemed like they had just transitioned from being a very professional cover band

Aerosmith were our Skrillex

there was supposed to be a Lefsetz/Amanda Palmer meeting of the minds at some event recently, didn't hear anything about it after the fact, was it covered in the Palmer thread?

should be a double bill also featuring a reformed The Who fronted by the lead singer of Vertical Horizon

There was a Lefsetz email or 2 on his meeting Amanda Palmer:

Our concierge was Jake Gold, T.O. man about town. He’s the one who picked this Greek restaurant by the beach. Didn’t know there was a beach in Toronto? Many don’t. Let’s just call it “the Lake.”

And Amanda Palmer. She’s writing a book. It was fascinating to hear how her TED talk led to so many opportunities. If you’re not afraid to go through one door, many more will open thereafter. Assuming you can get that first door to open, Amanda is a fifteen year overnight success.

More from his letter to Jimmy Page about Train one:

And the truth is everybody would be disappointed in a Zeppelin reunion, everybody would compare it to what once was. This... Would be a whole new thing, you'd get the benefit of the doubt, there would be love instead of negativity.

hahahaha omg, there would be love instead of negativity

doesn't anybody remember tae-bo?

He's right, though. Who could forget how the Firm completely changed the face of popular music?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCARADb9asE

I don’t hear anybody talking about the printers, the people whose business was wiped out by desktop publishing. And now, HP itself is in trouble, its cash cow printer business has stalled. Bitch all you want about overpriced cartridges, the truth is almost no one prints anymore. When last did you?

http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/2014/06/09/david-carrs-article/

When last did you?

"When last did you?! When last did you?!"

http://media.steampowered.com/steamcommunity/public/images/avatars/44/44e5a05c626294d361023365fe4bb48d1e1d2a6a_full.jpg

Print this morning did I

Show me an album that should be heard by millions that has languished in the marketplace and I’ll show you a liar, you, who are completely full of shit.

But tech is more interesting than music. Yup, there I said it. Bring us a new Beatles, a new Bob Dylan, and we’ll all pay attention.

And everybody knows “Yellow Submarine,” but most people don’t know any Beyonce songs and play them once and they never need to hear it again.

But have people stopped eating, stopped going to the bathroom, stopped having sex?

Get over yourself.

Enter the twenty first century.

People in this town? We listen to a Beyoncé song once and then forget about it. A man who listens a second time? That is not a man, my friend.

https://i.imgflip.com/9grk3.jpg

lol

of course this fucking geezer would go off on a rant about printer cartridge prices

You may decry Boston and Journey, but they put out professional records which satiate even more now as a result of the dreck that dominates today's airwaves.

The soul of an investment banker.

Steve Perry At The Orpheum

It was wasted on the Eels’ audience.

Lmao

Uber is kind of like the Beatles

And what did Uber do best…STICK IT TO THE MAN!

Who’s sticking it to the man in music?

I’d opine that music IS THE MAN!

who among us is bob lefsetzest?

http://37.media.tumblr.com/fd9bcf175118fe5b60dac9c0e04764ce/tumblr_mjart3dSfz1qzhoqfo1_500.jpg

But that was back when music ruled the world. When it was seen as the preeminent art form. Before nitwits like Iggy Azalea ruled and a big hit song was entitled “Wiggle,” back when there were two avenues, the mainstream and the underground, and the true music fans were members of the underground, forget all those pop charts, no one listened to hit radio back then, we all smoked dope, grew our hair and dedicated ourselves to the slow-talking deejays on FM.

Hit radio sucks today, but it's not like in the 60s, man, when hit radio sucked.

from the excerpts people are posting it feels like his newsletters are being "written" by an AI program called CrankyBoomerBot

(i unsubbed a while back and man my inbox/sanity are all the better for it)

It's not like it's the first song named Wiggle though!

Put your money where your mouth is Bob, grow your hair again

I actually love his assertion that no one uses printers anymore, and that each of us would have to really think to remember the last time we did.

When last did I? Yesterday did I print!

The printer thing is hilarious because it's more an indication that big Lef hasn't had an actual job in a long time

haha yeah, it also felt like older fellow proving he was up on things. "No one prints anymore, they just download the newspaper to their Google glasses!"

But that was back when music ruled the world. When it was seen as the preeminent art form. Before nitwits like Iggy Azalea ruled and a big hit song was entitled “Wiggle,” back when there were two avenues, the mainstream and the underground, and the true music fans were members of the underground, forget all those pop charts, no one listened to hit radio back then, we all smoked dope, grew our hair and dedicated ourselves to the slow-talking deejays on FM.

Hit radio sucks today, but it's not like in the 60s, man, when hit radio sucked.

― Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Thursday, June 12, 2014 10:32 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

honestly don't know if this is real lefsetz or parody

real.

And I'm not complaining. Well, maybe I am. What I'm saying is I can't feed back, can't have intellectual discussion, because if I respond just once, I'm going to be the recipient of e-mail for YEARS!

And I know so many of you are reasonable. But I want to give you the perspective from where I sit. To know that you are not alone. That we live in an incomprehensible world where the dumb reign and the smart check out.

Can totally see this dude going down in a government standoff, felled behind a barricade built out of boxes of unsold Seven Mary Three albums.

[Ezra] Klein has a new perspective on the news. That it’s being covered like a sport, with daily winners and losers, and if you’re not paying attention, you’re left out. Klein says he’s into stories that live on the web, that have life after their initial posting, kind of like the page on the secret menu at In-N-Out, which got little traction at first, but over the years has gotten tons.

(Hey, there’s a music analogy there! Your record may be number one for a week, but have the shelf life of milk, listen to Beyonce’s super-duper video album recently?) So Klein’s new site has explanatory stories, for those who don’t follow the news with a passion, like the above one on Iraq. I recommend scanning at least the headlines, because you’ll finally understand what’s happening.

I recommend scanning at least the headlines, because you’ll finally understand what’s happening.

listen to Beyonce’s super-duper video album recently?

I am literally listening to it right now while using my printer.

the future of music is "what is a solange"

Tarfumes, get with the times! All the cool hip young ppl are listening to Journey in Spotify and scanning Ezra Klein headlines

lol

This all so tragically pathetic and then you still have to factor in the fact that Lefsetz pops the collars on his Polo shirts

The guys were not only topless, but bottomless. You could see their wee-wees only inches away. And being a guy, I’m icked out by the visuals, but I’m always comparing and contrasting, wondering how I measure up. And I must say, for all the limp dicks, I did see some tiny units, that would make Howard Stern feel like a man, and unlike George on “Seinfeld,” on this hot nearly-summer day they couldn’t claim shrinkage.

And then came the women. Like I said, at first I thought it was a gay thing, men letting their freak flags fly.

And the first women weren’t topless. They had halter tops.

And then I saw breasts.

Tiny perky ones. Lumpy ones. Huge ones on skinny girls. It was a cornucopia of tits.

And being the red-blooded male I am, I surf my share of porn, I’ve seen pictures, it’s not like the sixties and seventies, the days of stag films and adult book shops. All you’ve got to do is Google.

But this was different. Because these were living, breathing women. Real people. Who chose to let it all hang out.

And I’m getting the sense that Felice wants to move on. But I can’t really let this opportunity pass. It’s like keeping a kid from candy. I wasn’t gonna cry if pulled away, but I was going to be disappointed.

omg

someone get lefsetz a doctor

love that he got a it's-not-like-the-sixties in there.

YOU COULD SEE THEIR WEE WEES

the nipples were different then

And as the parade wound on, there were more and more women, it turned out the men were leading. And they had their coochie-coos on their bike seats. Didn’t this hurt?

Then again, on the ride home, Felice kept saying that the men’s penises must have made for an uncomfortable ride. I said this was not the case, that it was no worse than usual, that our balls…sat on the saddle. But didn’t women’s, er, vaginas, wasn’t that painful?

Felice said nope.

it took him a second to remember the word for vagina

better than saying coochie-coo to felice

worked on mrs robinson

ur-vaginas

that was so thoroughly embarrassing that I actually feel bad mocking this guy

I do like his bold assertion that there is a qualitative difference between seeing nudity in person v. on the internet

he really succeeds in communicating to his audience that it's his first time seeing boobs in real life

lefsetz is what happens when you give every 50-60 year old man who writes 400-word diatribes in the comments of every major newspaper article a website and a newsletter

Poor James Taylor, done in by tech at first, but now maybe he has a shot

Late last night doing my back exercises I decided to compare streaming services. Spotify is my default, I recreated a playlist in Beats Music and then I did the same thing in WIMP, and I was wowed.

Now let's be clear, getting lossless music from Norway ain't that easy, there are streaming interruptions, which is why I decided to sync/download the tracks, and they were a REVELATION!

I'm a big believer we get the music we deserve, that the reason compressed beat-driven music dominates is it's the only thing that sounds good on the listening devices we're employing. In other words, you're not gonna get a new James Taylor if you've got to listen to compressed music on your phone via earbuds. But if you improved the quality of the sound would that not only make people take more care in the creation of sounds, but also branch out and put an effort into that which today is so often a second-class citizen?

Now I'm not talking 256kbps, never mind 320. Lossless is equivalent to CD.

Whenever I see this thread title I think of:

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BODcwMTYzMzQ5Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjI5MTkxMQ@@._V1_SX640_SY720_.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/05/Whos_harry_crumb.jpg

Lefsets saw Five Seconds of Summer and One Direction at the Rose Bowl:

The opening act was Five Seconds Of Summer, and I kept listening for the hard drives, but there were none. Yes, the popsters faking it should be very afraid, because 5SOS could actually play! And sing! And harmonize! I was nearly flabbergasted. This is not how it's supposed to be!

But they're Australian. The Aussie acts have always been superior players. Because down under you earn your stripes gig by gig, if you don't deliver live, you've got no chance.

bwa-ha-ha-ha! I admit though, I haven't been to a big rock show in years upon years. Is this "listening for the hard drives" anywhere close to a real thing?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b0/Iggy_Azalea_Walks_the_Red_Carpet_(cropped).jpg

You left out the best part

"And that was who were there. Students. Girls. Wanna get laid? Go to a 1D show. You won't see odds this good at the prison of "Orange Is The New Black." An endless sea of barely pubescent girls, screaming their heads off."

Lmao

OMFG.

barfs, calls police.

...

D:

like holy shit how could you actually write that

It IS Lefsetz.

*checks* Good GOD, folks, what about this bit:

"Let me tell you, despite being one of the lone males in a sea of tens of thousands of females, what stunned me is nobody was radiating any sexuality, nobody was dressed like a slut, nobody was making eyes trying to get ahead. This was more like puppy love, even if dirty old men would say some of these girls were fully grown."

But 5SOS were not the Beatles. That’s the problem with both the youngsters and the oldsters, there’s nothing new. That’s why there’s hysteria for the iPhone 6 and shrugs for so much music. So you can replicate what’s been done before…once upon a time music was about pushing the envelope! There was no Jethro Tull before Jethro Tull, never mind the Ramones!

Lefsetz going to start reviewing Chuck E Cheeses soon

holy shit @ that ned

what the fuck is this shit

iirc the post he wrote about his first electric daisy carnival was pretty bad too but this is a new level of gross

I love this weird combination of things:

And sure, Harry Styles is an international icon…

But what did impress me about Harry was how nonchalant he was. Just before he went on he was offering us cupcakes. Isn’t he supposed to be in his dressing room, angsting away?

Cynics might say it’s because he doesn’t play an instrument.

But that’s part of the act’s success. That it’s kind of a lark. And they and the audience are all in it together.

And the production was spectacular. And the girls knew every word and sang them. And if you’re somebody who lives in Ferrari/gated community culture you’d be completely flummoxed. As you would be if you’re into retro vinyl, if you haunt club gigs, if you listen to people with bad voices sing their plaintive songs and then bitch that they can’t make any money.

looooooool "i was the only old man in the crowd" ... "the creepy old men in the crowd would call them women grown" this guy is so gross

man what a dick

*checks* Good GOD, folks, what about this bit:

"Let me tell you, despite being one of the lone males in a sea of tens of thousands of females, what stunned me is nobody was radiating any sexuality, nobody was dressed like a slut, nobody was making eyes trying to get ahead. This was more like puppy love, even if dirty old men would say some of these girls were fully grown."

― Ned Raggett, Monday, September 15, 2014 9:26 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

holy shit

no Jethro Tull before Jethro Tull

Sounds better in the original Arabic.

no Jethro Tull before Jethro Tull

title of next guided by voices single.

^^ haha

Let me tell you, despite being one of the lone males in a sea of tens of thousands of females, what stunned me is nobody was radiating any sexuality, nobody was dressed like a slut, nobody was making eyes trying to get ahead.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4c/Itisamystery.gif

Holy shit at all of this.

it's not like the sixties. nobody was radiating any sexuality.

who would they be making eyes at? Lefsetz?

And in the late eighties, fresh-faced Def Leppard was at the peak, they were the apotheosis, the biggest rock band in the world, and they partook of all the warm and moist goodness.

How U2 Blew It

NEWS FOR A DAY

No different from a rape or a murder, but with even less legs.

pubescent site:lefsetz.com

About 30 results (0.18 seconds)

wait

"barely pubescent" site:lefsetz.com

About 27 results (0.24 seconds)

Why is everybody a scumbag?

I think it started with Bill Clinton

ahahahaaa

weird ("weird") how most of the 'barely pubescent' mentions are from the last year and change

here's the earliest one, from 2005
Yup, MTV wasn’t caught flat-footed. They INTENTIONALLY aired lame Live 8 coverage, carefully calculated to keep the barely pubescent at best viewer tuned in. Hell, old farts playing decades old music, that’s ratings DEATH!

I blame this thread for getting the non-word "pubanescence" stuck in my head

well now i have a puberty-themed version of 'bring me to life' in MY head so who's gagging now

(spoiler: both of us)

"Pubanescence" is my favorite Beach Boys song.

Maura: way ahead of you on that one ;_;

I thought Pubanescence was a goth-pop cover band.

Bring Me to Pubes

call me when you're pubescent

Lefsetz having a Puban missile crisis

I'm trying to decide if katherine just ruined Carly Rae Jeppson or Blondie for me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RrA-R5VHQs

I had completely forgotten about that song

oh now I ruined CRRJ and Blondie for myself though ;_;

I blame this thread for getting the non-word "pubanescence" stuck in my head

― stacked as fuck & imposing (DJP), Tuesday, September 16, 2014 1:16 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

jesus christ

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9f/Reel2reel.jpg

http://amandapalmer.net/blog/lessons-of-the-dead-re-printed-from-the-lefsetz/

The free music, the tape trading? That’s been overstated. Most Dead fans had never heard a live cassette.

really.

How successful would ecstasy be at $125 a hit. Imagine if a puff of marijuana cost $75. You’d still want to get high. But it would be a rare event, and you’d expect to see skyrockets, you’d expect to have the time of your life. Ergo all the dancing and pyrotechnics on today’s stages.

The Dead weren’t selling hits. They seemed unable to write one.

touch of grey was a top 10 hit

sorry I don't meant to derail but

she waited outside in the hot british sun for two hours, eating my prop-stash of evelyn evelyn twix bars while i threw myself on the mercy of the american embassy and got a temporary passport.

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Palmer and Lefsetz - "Talking TUNEZ" coming to NPR next fall

eating my prop-stash of evelyn evelyn twix bars

^is this some kinda beatnik jive what does this even mean?

touch of grey was a top 10 hit

― rap steve (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Tuesday, September 16, 2014 1:03 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

come on, dude

She did a side project called Evelyn Evelyn where she and some dude I can't remember pretended to be conjoined twins

One of the merchandise items for this side project, according to that sentence, is rebranded Twix bars

I mean, even as a joke that us ugggggggh but I am about 80% certain she actually bought Twix bars with Evelyn Evelyn branding on them to sell at her show

how do you know this stuff

I DON'T KNOW

Promotional alternate candy-bar branding is to the 2010s what a Garcia solo was to the 1960s, man.

*side eyes DJP*
very suspect my friend... tell me... is that... A FEDORA ON YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW

#NotAllFedoras

This is truly choice

https://twitter.com/deadmau5/status/512739733089181697

well that settles that.

I had no idea that he had reach with anyone under 50.

lol

bene-fecal

Please tell me his Pitbull review is satire and he really knows that there was music besides cliched long-haired baby boom classic rock, and that people have been dancing to music since like forever....Maybe this is just a letter to himself

It was a party.

The classic rock era was passive. Today's music scene is participatory!

People have become stars in their own lives, utilizing their mobiles to post to Instagram, everybody believes he's famous, is it any wonder today's music reflects this?

We used to adulate the acts, now we adulate ourselves.

And this is very hard for the oldsters to understand.

Pitbull came from nothing. And so many of today's concertgoers don't have much. What else to do but dance? While you're plotting your ascension up the economic ladder.

You would have cracked up. The show began with a scroll of text akin to "Star Wars," detailing Pitbull's rise from the depths. And then the man elevated from the floor and from there on the energy sustained, the audience was happy, it was everything yesterday was not.

Pitbull flashed pictures of a private jet on the big screen. As if your goal in life was to have a NetJet account. He was the ringmaster, and you can sit at home and judge it, but it was so much fun!

Usually it takes five or seven minutes and then I'm bored. I've seen it. They're playing music I'm barely familiar with with lyrics I can't comprehend and I stand there wondering how long it's gonna be to the end. But in this case the show was a pleasure. I enjoyed it.

As did those in attendance.

It also didn't look like a classic rock crowd. Everyone said it was 60% female, but when I went out for a pee, in between acts, when the deejay kept most people entertained, I encountered nothing but women, dressed in their finery. You didn't come to this show in your duds, you put on your look. Was it a Latino thing? Christy Haubegger, my firsthand expert, told me that's what her people did. But not to snare a man, but to show how fine they were. Yes, there were endless lines of women with no guys in sight, prancing as if they were in one of those MTV videos.

And Pitbull had six dancers, constantly changing outfits, akin to those girls you hire at your wedding or bar mitzvah, but it did resemble a rap video of the nineties. Only in this case Pitbull wasn't being exclusive, but inclusive. It wasn't about drawing a line between performer and audience but keeping them connected.

And sure, he played his hits. Duetting with Kesha on "Timber," who appeared on the big screen, as did other famous personages.

And interspersed were famous rock songs, like "Sweet Child O' Mine," it cracked me up, this wasn't a concert as much as an event.

But Ne-Yo did show up in the flesh, to sing "Give Me Everything" with Pit. The worldwide hit produced by Afrojack.

And there you have it.

While you've been home practicing your guitar, writing dreary songs about love lost, the genres have merged. They rap in country, and this huge hit would play just great at Electric Daisy.

And in the Sahara Tent.

Yup, instead of a deejay, there could be a live performer at these shows, and then everything you thought you know would be history.

It's a brand new world out there. One the young people have only known.

Sitting in the audience passively watching longhairs strum their tales is now passe. Sure, it still exists, who knows, it could come back, but our entire scene has flipped upside down, it's about having fun in our brutal culture that venerates winners and excludes losers and today's young people know this and have decided they're going to climb the ladder, because being at the bottom is anathema.

Pitbull's just the cheerleader.

With worldwide hits with worldwide sounds.

Wake up to the new world, it's not going anywhere, it's not a fad. Everybody knows these hits and sings and dances along to them, whether they be white, Latino or black. Society has moved on. Warner Brothers might have been the icon of the seventies, but today it's not about your soul but your bank account, and to deny this is to exclude yourself.

So join the festivities, have fun, dance while you're plotting your ascension, to get your mind off reality, to escape the punishing life fostered by baby boomers who claimed to love one another, but turned out to be the greediest souls on the planet.

Their children know this. And have decided to party like it's 1999.

And there's nothing wrong with that.

This guy writes. So many sentence fragments. For dramatic effect.

and there's nothing wrong. with that.

Yes, Lefsetz, dressing well is a Latino thing.

Everyone said it was 60% female, but when I went out for a pee, in between acts, when the deejay kept most people entertained, I encountered nothing but women, dressed in their finery. You didn't come to this show in your duds, you put on your look. Was it a Latino thing? Christy Haubegger, my firsthand expert, told me that's what her people did. But not to snare a man, but to show how fine they were. Yes, there were endless lines of women with no guys in sight, prancing as if they were in one of those MTV videos.

Bob Lefsetz, embedded reporter in the Latino experience

oh good another sea-of-women setpiece

He can really be creepy. Not to mention clueless--Clearly, growing up in Connecticut he never ventured out of his rock world to see and dance to James Brown or a Fania salsa show...

hahaha this is basically evolving into an "Old Guy Goes Around Getting Boners At Pop Music Concerts" travelogue blog

of course they're not trying to snare a man, they're not an endless sea of barely pubescent girls

What does his girlfriend Felice Mancini, who he sometimes mentions, think about these lines?

This guy make DeRo seem like The Dean (or pick your critic exemplar).

we pick on dero a lot but he's a competent writer that is generally writing about music and albums and concerts that are occurring not insane flights of fantasy and senile "hip and with it" technoramblings of an insane rich eagles fan

"one of those MTV videos"

and at least DeRo is one of the few people out there still trying to keep R Kelly's misdeeds on people's minds.

indirectly, so is Lefsetz

lol

R Kelly's misdeeds on people's minds

he didn't pee on anybody's brain, dude

omg

A year or more ago, Lefsetz used to post responses to his blogposts from both regular folks and music biz insiders. Sometimes they even disagreed with him or criticized his point of view. Alas, he now only seems to post responses from music biz folks who agree with him.

He could do some research and see that Tinashe is on the Billboard hot 100, but nah, he'd rather rant

TOP TEN LISTS

Let's call them what they are, not the ten best records or books, but the ones that are gonna make you look good by quoting them.

Earlier today I was reading the Top Ten records from the L.A. "Times" critics. In some cases, I'd never even heard of the albums.

Check 'em out here: http://lat.ms/1JQdyF4

Have you heard of "Ought" and "Cold Specks"? They're on Chris Barton's list.

How about Tinashe, White Lung and Arca? August Brown listed them.

I could keep listing the obscurities, but it's just going to give fodder to the experts, so deep in their holes that they think this off the radar stuff deserves to go mainstream and the problem is radio doesn't play it and Spotify doesn't pay for it and you wonder why most people tune out music.

You can't list Eric Church's "Outsiders," because too many people bought it, it's too popular. You can't be a member of society, you must be an "other."

This is an old paradigm run rampant.

Used to be there were comparatively few albums released and you made yourself feel good by denigrating the taste of the masses. That's right, you put on your black and judged anything popular as junk. But the internet blew a hole wide open in that paradigm. With so many albums released, that which is not successful is just obscure. And when you tell those who are not deep into your hole they're great and these people check them out and discover they're not, you do a disservice to music in general.

That's right, what's holding back music is all the self-righteous pricks who need to believe their obscure favorites are the best, that they're being ripped off by the system. It's these people who are muddying the water, making the scene incoherent.

In some cases, I'd never even heard of the albums.

This is basically a lazy tautology, no? I have never heard of them, therefore they are obscure. If this guy wasn't such a lazy, cowardly pussy he would actually listen to those so-called obscurities and try to write a coherent assault or admit defeat.

Or, conversely, one might suggest that anything listed in a major metropolitan newspaper is almost, by definition, not really obscure. Someone should show this guy an issue of The Wire's year-end.

Anyway, I wish this choad was more obscure.

The conspiracy continues. A few critics put an obscure artist like Tinashe on their year end lists and voila! a few days later she has more Spotify plays than superstars like Eric Church. Vast and pernicious.

Bob was so deep into my hole. He's great, you guys.

Tinashe is not only on the Hot 100 but "2 On" was certified platinum!

Platinum is just a million sales. There are, what, 7 billion people in the world? I think that means it is totally obscure. Let me know when she goes platinum x 100.

I can't even decipher the argument. You should only recommend things that people already know? Because they'll be intimidated or turned off if you recommend something they haven't heard of?

It's not populist if you're not talking about stuff everyone knows.

what is Bob Lefsetz

I understand actually criticizing Lefsetz at this point is sort of like shooting Bjork's goldfish, but I'm going to do it anyway. Like Bob, I hadn't heard Ought before their name started popping up in year-end "best of 2014 lists". Unlike Bob, I think of these lists as an opportunity to expand my knowledge, rather than a chance to confirm my pre-existing opinions. So I listened to Ought, and it turns out that I really like them. But hey, you keep right on cursing the darkness, Bob.

why does there have to be music i haven't heard of? it makes me feel weird

tbf, whoever was the editor for that list didn't google Arca either, or they'd realize the wrong label was listed for his album release

btw, for anyone who genuinely doesn't understand where lefsetz is coming from, i'll break it down for you. he is the voice of the People, and the music he likes is the People's music. people who champion music other than the music he champions are either elitist self-appointed gatekeepers, if he hasn't heard of the music, or purveyors of mind-numbing pap, if he has heard of the music and disapproves. you could actually make a decent argument that he is in fact the voice of the People considering the sheer number of people who have exactly this approach to judging the aesthetic value of creative work...

I just love his idea that some eager young music fans are going to have their spirits crushed because they excitedly go to listen to a White Lung song and are so disillusioned they give up on music forever.

this guy's ideology is so genuinely bizarre

He's like the Alex Jones of music commentary.

Does Alex Jones talk about pubescent girls as much?

if getting riled up about HPV vaccines counts, then yes.

2014: The Year White Lung killed music

should be noted that the dude also thinks taylor swift is obscure:

Name two songs from “1989.”

Even better, have you heard anything other than “Shake It Off?"

i'm not clear what records released this year he thinks anyone has listened to. besides, i guess, eric church.

"Radio Lefsetz Reminds You: Listen To The Church of Your Choice (As Long As It's Eric)"

bjork's goldfish?

well the silver lining here is i didn't even know there was a new cold specks record

zach: yeah, the one flopping around on the floor in faith no more's "epic" video. "shooting fish in a barrel" seemed somehow inadequate.

"Christmas used to mean something. Back when I was in college, we couldn't wait till Christmas. You'd hear about Christmas on the radio, and when it came to your town you were all primed for it. Everyone knew everything about Christmas. Hell, it was as big as the Eagles back in the 70s. No one cares anymore. Christmas isn't on the radio. Irving Azoff told me he couldn't even get Christmas into WalMart this year. That's because Christmas stopped caring about its fans. It became about organic chestnuts and free range turkey. Hell, the average Christmas fan in Omaha, Nebraska doesn't want organic chestnuts and free range turkey. He wants the Christmas he grew up with. Can anyone even name a present they got this Christmas? No, you can't. That's because Christmas stopped mattering etc etc etc"

what authority does this little man have

Is that what's bothering you, Bunkie?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qty7IP8wlXM

I like him calling Nilsson's "Coconut" the "All About That Bass" of its time.

in which he argues that luke bryan's "crash my party" is the song of the year partly on the grounds that it had more cultural impact than anything on tom petty's 2014 album:

http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/2014/12/26/song-year/

his "quote a lyric, then riff on thoughts you're having about it" style is so incredible

We just want to do it over again. Everything. With you. Start with a kiss, graduate to sex, we’re completely enthralled.

Funny that the 2014 song of the year features the lines

I’ve been listenin’ to the radio all night long
Sittin’ ’round waitin’ for it to come on and here it is

This roots the song, I scan XM ALL DAY LONG!

I worked an event for about a week earlier this year, and hit it off with one of the other guys on the backstage crew for the first couple days. then once he start raving about how great Luke Bryan's "Play It Again" and it just kinda ruined it. hate that song so much.

Is Luke Bryant one of those dudes who wears a baseball cap instead of a cowboy hat? Actually, that's pretty much of all 'em these days, isn't it.

Graduate to Sex: My Life in Music by Bob Lefsetz

^^There's a Cumme Laude joke in there, and I'm ruining the chance to make it.

there's a moment in the Nashville episode of Sonic Highways where someone is making a boilerplate comment about modern commercial country music, and they cut to a quick scene of Luke Bryan looking like this performing at an awards show without even saying his name, and it's such a cheap shot but i loved it anyway

http://www.cmt.com/sitewide/assets/img/events/2012/cma_awards/show/cma_awards_jk_155123869-x600.jpg

Luke Bryant rocks, fuck the Foo Fighters

i first read that as like "the 'sonic highways' episode of nashville" and thought whoa nashville goes a lot harder than i thought

President Keyes w a hot take, sizzlin!

What is with you guys and "hot takes"?

That was more of a drunk take

another blazing hot take

How so?

he can't stop!! he's a natural!

Bully

President Roosevelt?

just playing pres

call me Johnny Hottakes

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/d5/Ep73_01.jpg/300px-Ep73_01.jpg

ok, 'Johnny Hottakes'

johnny take in the buildin

Being a hipster might make you cool, but it won’t make you rich.

Of course, some hipster music breaks through. And that’s great, we need the bleeding edge, that’s what’s wrong with too much of today’s pop, the formula. But most hipster music is just not made for mainstream consumption, which is fine, but please stop complaining that no one wants it.

Imagine making a tech product no one wants. Do these people complain, no they PIVOT! An incredible percentage of tech companies started out making something different, and when no one wanted it, they took the essence and turned it into something else.

Which means if you know how to play, you don’t only have to play the music you do.

no they PIVOT! <--new indie bnd name

I used to get angry whenever I saw this thread at the top of Site New Answers. Now I weep.

that was already an indie band name

Now I weep

Emo band?

I don't know, his combination of cluelessness and weirdness makes him more interesting to me than e.g. Klosterman -- whose views are less obnoxious but also very dull.

Found an old clip from Lefsetz's public access TV days:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xG00OC_imA

Glanced at a second of that: guy looks just like Dan Aykroyd in Tom Snyder drag.

And Imagine Dragons are really good.

I know you don't want to hear that, because if they're good, you're not.

Now I'm not saying you can't be nearly talentless and be successful. But that's a different kind of talent, one of conception, one wherein you look at the world a different way and come up with something so mind-blowing that people pay attention. That was Lou Reed's gift. But we haven't had that spirit here for so long.

He just emailed this one...

That was Lou Reed's gift. But we haven't had that spirit here for so long since 1969.

FIXED

That doesn't fix it for me. Lefsetz preceded the above with this quote:

But it's in the struggle that you hone your chops, that you get really good.

So Imagine Dragons have chops and Lou did not?

how was Lou Reed "nearly talentless"?

Maybe he meant it in a dodge the bullet sense. Like "Lou Reed was nearly talentless, but fortunately he started writing songs and playing music and discovered, phew, he did have talent after all."

Lefsetz is a mainstream baby boom rocker who probably never listened to the Velvets, but after later hearing Lou's solo songs that got radio play, decided in hindsight that Lou's skill was just of conception.

It's dumb and wrong and goofy just like this sentence of his I know you don't want to hear that, because if they're good, you're not.

Josh, read the post that Lefsetz wrote, don't rewrite it for him so it makes more sense.

I know you don't want to hear that, because if they're good, you're not.
peak lefsetz. beautiful.

Now I'm not saying you can't be nearly talentless and be successful.

his own career is a testament to this

tylerw otm

And if you want to grow up, emulate Billy Joel. He’s let himself age, he’s gained weight and has no hair. And he’s honest and believable. And he puts out no new music. BECAUSE NO ONE CARES!

Once upon a time you were a leader, now you’re running after a train that has left the station when everybody else is taking Uber.

It’s like having your aunt kiss you at the graduation party. You know, the creepy old one who wears too much makeup and winks at you when you’re in the kitchen… The one who’s unmarried and seems to want to sleep with no one so much as YOU!

Explains so much about how this guy's world view was shaped.

his ability to consistently amaze me with the shittiness of his thoughts and writing is really staggering, he manages to top himself each and every time

the obliviousness of being able to confidently state that as a universal experience

Once upon a time you were a leader, now you’re running after a train that has left the station when everybody else is taking Uber.

just realized you can sing this to like a rolling stone

I guess I'm trying to understand, but if the train is an overland commuter train, taking an Uber seems pretty damn expensive...and if you were in NYC with a big subway system I don't think it's retrograde to take the subway, I really doubt everyone is taking Ubers everywhere....

maybe he means the Bay Area and BART?

i should probably shoot myself in the head for even thining about this

he is based in santa monica though

so maybe he's just talking about LA's pretty decent but failed subway system

think i heard the next madonna single is dropping exclusively on Uber

still, Madonna strikes me as someone who travels exclusively by limo or private plane

either way, this is Big Lef #shotsfired at mass transit

yo peter gabriel has gained weight and has no hair and is goddamn overdue to put out so new music. lefsetz is the worst.

Bill Joel's in a new dad state of mind as he and girlfriend Alexis Roderick are expecting their first child
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/confidential/billy-joel-new-dad-state-mind-girlfriend-article-1.2185383
[bill joel! that'd be rad if billy joel came out and demanded that people call him Bill Joel from now on.]

Gwyneth Paltrow called him William Joel in a goop newsletter, to which videogum responded, "ah yes, William Joel. The Piano Sir."

you are reading the goop newsletter????

you are reading the lefsetz newsletter?

you are reading videogum?

Are we all reading ILX?!!!

http://31.media.tumblr.com/f1c37a9bec59b99cea82bb5d074a8bde/tumblr_n9gp0qGHzP1tchrkco1_500.gif

The Goop Loop

i can't tell if croup is playing or not - she did not seriously call him william joel did she???

http://www.laineygossip.com/Content/images/articles/gp%20joel%202%20jun09.jpg

hehe

omg

"Crap, there's another pecan lover in the house! I just saw it run behind the fridge!"

"Should we get another trap? Or bake it some cookies?"

i can't remember whether i was reading videogum several years ago or told a hilarious bit from videogum several years ago but i think it should obvious why i remembered this hilarious bit of info from several years ago

See that the biggest venue in America is the smartphone. And its stars are Snapchat and Facebook

This is possibly the most Drunk Uncle he's ever been.

Move to lock this thread and have ppl email Robert directly if they have any issues

Baltimore

The PIGS, that’s what we called them back when I was growing up.

I take the elevator up to the top where Toni escorts me into Steve Barnett’s office where he and Ambrosia are listening to a record, not a word being said, Steve staring rapturously at the wall.

This obviously wasn’t done for me, I caught them in a moment. And what was playing over the speakers was…SPECTACULAR!

So I go from caring not a whit about the music business to being totally riveted, feeling that I’m back to where I once belonged.

And when the track finishes Steve tells me it’s the album of the year, which sounds reasonable to me, since this is the guy who built Sam Smith in the U.S., and he’s going to do his best to deliver this 67 year old another hit.

Huh?

Now I’m completely confused. So I ask “Who is this?”

DON HENLEY!

well, yeah

haha i'm morbidly excited about this

though i srsly doubt big lef can't identify don henley's voice upon hearing it

Music, when done right, scales.

Stop listening to the old fogeys. Stop learning how it used to be done. Know that in order to succeed you’ve got to turn the world on its head.

Let’s make it simple… How about finding ugly people who write their own songs? That’s changing everything everyone in power believes in.

How about putting music in BuzzFeed movies?

Haha he gets more drunk uncle by the day

HOW ABOUT PUTTING DON HENLEY IN BUZZFEED MOVIES

P.S. All you Eagles and Henley haters can hold your breath, put your fingertips away, because the truth is in the modern world hate is irrelevant, it’s all about love. No one cares that you pooh-pooh this or that, all we care is that someone loves something. And if enough people do, you have success.

Something something not enough love in the world

Something something pooh pooh

lefsetz drawing inspiration from my immortal I see

Oy veh. He takes data and loses all the nuances, plus he throws in his stereotypes as well. He also neglects to mention that some are challenging the cited country data

That's right, it's the country artists who have tattoos and wear jeans, who reflect the America we live in. There's more honesty in the average country record than there is in the deepest inner city hip-hop track. But those in the media don't like the narrative. They even get sidetracked into this non-story about women being kept down.

Women run this world, you should never forget it. It's they who want to rock down hard. And if you wanna get laid...you know where to go, what station to play.

P.S. Don't read the reports, go straight to the source, read Keith Hill's comments in "Country Aircheck" by going to: https://www.countryaircheck.com and clicking on "Click here to download" on the left-hand side, under "Country Aircheck Weekly (5/26)". Keith Hill is a blowhard who takes his business way too seriously, but give the guy credit for saying what no one else will and sticking to his guns, and for having an opinion. Isn't it strange that those with sharp edges rule in this world, every tech titan is prickly, but in entertainment we think it's B2B and we put on a suit and go all nice as if not offending anybody is the key to success. Wanna know the truth? If you're not offending people, you're not saying anything worthwhile. Maybe country radio isn't for soft female music, maybe country radio isn't for you, but country radio is America's number one radio format, it's where the bucks are, and when money's involved risk is reduced. Which means you can combat those who play
it safe by risking, but you've got to be great, you just can't be a crybaby, and if you're making music it had better be ROCK!

"the deepest inner city hop-hop track"

probably Das EFX

Maybe country radio isn't for soft female music, maybe country radio isn't for you, but country radio is America's number one radio format, it's where the bucks are, and when money's involved risk is reduced. Which means you can combat those who play
it safe by risking, but you've got to be great, you just can't be a crybaby, and if you're making music it had better be ROCK!

*looks into drink*

*pouts*

....CARIBBEAN QUEEN!

Thought the thread would be bumped for this bundle of lols: http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2015/05/you-dont-know-lefsetz.html

"Oh, so you're a writer? Are you familiar with the critical works of Amazon Reviewer #killallwhitewalkers?"

I haven't been inspired to change my display name for years. Thanks, Bob Lefsetz!

ha

classic lefsetz

album oriented lefsetz

If you want to know exactly why the music business is how it is, Lefsetz seems like a good guide! If you want to know what current reality looks like or the future, not really.