This is the thread where we watch THE EUROVISION SEMI-FINAL 2006!

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Oh yes it is!

It's streaming online via a slightly convoluted system from www.eurovision.tv, or www.bbc.co.uk/eurovision - but if anyone knows any other places, then do please post them here, as I've a suspiscion these two may crap up a bit.

It starts in FIFTEEN MINUTES! Twenty-three songs go in, only ten make it to Saturday's final...

1 Armenia André Without your love - -
2 Bulgaria Mariana Popova Let me cry - -
3 Slovenia Anžej Dežan Mr. Nobody - -
4 Andorra Jennifer Sense tu - -
5 Belarus Polina Smolova Mum - -
6 Albania Luiz Ejlli Zjarr e ftohtë - -
7 Belgium Kate Ryan Je t'adore - -
8 Ireland Brian Kennedy Every song is a cry for love - -
9 Cyprus Annet Artani Why angels cry - -
10 Monaco Séverine Ferrer La coco-dance - -
11 FYR Macedonia Elena Risteska Ninanajna - -
12 Poland Ich Troje Follow my heart - -
13 Russia Dima Bilan Never let you go - -
14 Turkey Sibel Tüzün Superstar - -
15 Ukraine Tina Karol Show me your love - -
16 Finland Lordi Hard rock hallelujah - -
17 The Netherlands Treble Amambanda - -
18 Lithuania LT United We are the winners - -
19 Portugal Nonstop Coisas de nada - -
20 Sweden Carola Invincible - -
21 Estonia Sandra Through my window - -
22 Bosnia & Herzegovina Hari Mata Hari Lejla - -
23 Iceland Silvia Night Congratulations - -

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 17:47 (nineteen years ago)

it's shame the brit nomination can't be kicked out - vanilla ice crap rap muzak and kidz voices - an embarrassment to Britain

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 18 May 2006 17:53 (nineteen years ago)

metalheads and rockers across europe will ensure lordi gets through

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 18 May 2006 17:54 (nineteen years ago)

Meanwhile the Dutch have decided on tribal drums. a BIT LATE

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 17:54 (nineteen years ago)

OH FUCK IT'S TODAY?!?!?

BASTARDS!!!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 18 May 2006 17:55 (nineteen years ago)

SEMI-FINAL TODAY

FINAL SATURDAY

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 18 May 2006 17:56 (nineteen years ago)

FUCKING SHITE

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 18 May 2006 17:59 (nineteen years ago)

And already the BBC player is dragging like a bastard before we've even kicked off. Oh dear.

For those in the UK with televisions, BBC Three's yer ticket.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 17:59 (nineteen years ago)

Does that work for us non-Euros?

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:00 (nineteen years ago)

The eurovision.tv might. BBC most likely won't.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:03 (nineteen years ago)

last year the standard was so bad, i suggested the raison d'être of Eurovision should change, introduce inverse voting - vote for the worst song.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:03 (nineteen years ago)

Is the Slovenian entry different to the one announced a few months ago, or have they just changed the name?

― Cressida Breem (neruokruokruokne?), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:03 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, I watched some of the finals via thee official site last year. Between outage fun & waiting for buffering fun.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:04 (nineteen years ago)

Martian, I hope you're just watching on mute while playing Nine Black Alps in the background.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:05 (nineteen years ago)

David popshots75, I hate NME muzak such as Nine Black Alps !

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:06 (nineteen years ago)

I bet its on BBC 3

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:07 (nineteen years ago)

Oh someone said it is.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:08 (nineteen years ago)

"Hard rock hallelujah" is a pretty awesome song title though.

― Eppy (Eppy), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:12 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.ndrtv.de/grandprix/ - The german stream, which is what I'm going off at the moment.

Armenia, there. Straps, endless repetition of chorus - it may be their first time, but they've done their homework.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:14 (nineteen years ago)

Aah, no, it's the same song for Slovenia. Good.

― Cressida Breem (neruokruokruokne?), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:18 (nineteen years ago)

In English though?

― Cressida Breem (neruokruokruokne?), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:18 (nineteen years ago)

Bulgaria appear to have added a backing singer who could be described as Eddie Izzard with a quiff.

Prediction - none of these first six to make it through.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:19 (nineteen years ago)

Are the women meant to be finding Mr Slovenia attractive or no? I'm having trouble telling...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:20 (nineteen years ago)

Slovenia signal big finish by sitting down. See you next year, chaps.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:21 (nineteen years ago)

Andorra have never qualified for the final. Here's a voluble young women being strutted around by some less voluble young women in their lingerie. With chairs. Therefore:

EUROVISION STAGING MEME 2006, Pt. 1: Sitting down.

This ain't going through either.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:24 (nineteen years ago)

The arena looks somewhat mediocre, really. The stage itself is constructed along the trad amphitheatre lines, thus, instead of a video wall, we have video staircases. It doesn't entirely work.

Anyway - BELARUS BRING THE NOISE, BUT FORGET THE TUNE. The singer is walloping about to a great effect, but the problem is that she is allegedly singing in English, and I cannot make out a single bloody word. If any of these first five get through I will be astonished.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:29 (nineteen years ago)

Albania have some bagpipes. Already, they're in front. Luiz Ejili's mum has decided to buy him a nice white suit so he looks presentable when he goes on telly. Aww.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:31 (nineteen years ago)

re: If any of these first five get through I will be astonished.

keep it up WBS, there all probably all rubbish !

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:32 (nineteen years ago)

First audible mid-song cheer of the night for the bagpipe solo in the middle. If a) this weren't in Albanian and b) Luis had been bleesed with any kind of moves, it'd have a pretty good chance. As it is, it's most likely gonna come in ahead of Belarus.

Now, the first big contender - Belgium.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:33 (nineteen years ago)

OMG DARKWAVE EXTRAVAGANZA

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:33 (nineteen years ago)

Belarus wasn't in English! See lyrics:

All I tell you, mum
My heart 's on fire!
Say me no more
That he's a finished liar.
I feel so safe, 'cause I know he's good
The guys before him were a kind of junk food.

[Chorus:]
Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, mum.
Can't you see how I miss him?
Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma
Yes, I need only him
Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma
Can't you see how I love him?
So by now my doubts are over,
I know for sure that he's my dream.

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:35 (nineteen years ago)

better than front 242 ?

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:35 (nineteen years ago)

(I think belarus will qualify though)

Belgium obvious favourites for the title on Saturday.

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:37 (nineteen years ago)

Multiple neon mic-stand extravaganza! Some raised staging has appeared, seemingly from nowhere! The backing singers are fucking WRECKING it, but 'Je T'Adore' really is the best song this year.

One of the dancers points a mic at Kate's erogenous zones. They then proceed to do a dance that appears to involve wobbling.

EUROVISION 2006 STAGING MEME #2: FIREWORKS!

This semi-final is Belgium's to lose. The dancers have had a good go, but surely they're through.

Here's Brian Kennedy. Jesus Christ.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:37 (nineteen years ago)

Wow this is bad. What were the Irish thinking???

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:38 (nineteen years ago)

*insert My Lovely Horse joke here*

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:38 (nineteen years ago)

ireland is bringing the passion!

― wolves (wolves), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:39 (nineteen years ago)

Are those 3 in the background of the irish entry about to riverdance? They look about to pounce.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:39 (nineteen years ago)

My connection chooses the perfect moment to go to shit.

Brian the only entrant (excepting Wor Daz) to have a hit in the UK this year.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:39 (nineteen years ago)

That song was a cry for help.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:40 (nineteen years ago)

dj martian makes the uk entry sound awesome!

― toby (tsg20), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:41 (nineteen years ago)

Brian Kennedy is from Belfast ! [United Kingdom] He shouldn't be singing for Ireland.

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:43 (nineteen years ago)

internet viewers who don't mind Dutch commentary now and then:
http://www.nos.nl/songfestival/voorpagina/index.html

click 'livestream uitzending breedband'
Only in WinMedia though.

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:46 (nineteen years ago)

So what did we think of Cyprus?
Nevermind.

Monaco is great!

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:47 (nineteen years ago)

It's very 1986 summer tune. And she has a lovely sexy hoarse voice.

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:50 (nineteen years ago)

The German commentator namechecked Kirsty MacColl when talking about Brian Kennedy.

Time for the Dutch stream then.

(my connection really is all over the place - are they onto FYROM yet?)

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:50 (nineteen years ago)

UK represented by Chav Daz Sampson

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:51 (nineteen years ago)

Yes, it's FYROM. Dutch stream is about a minute behind on the tv broadcast.

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:53 (nineteen years ago)

Monaco was the best so far! Loved the ukulele sample or whatever it was. And the hottest male dancers.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:54 (nineteen years ago)

The guitarist for Brian Kennedy was Kirsty McColls brother according to the BBC.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:54 (nineteen years ago)

Right, we're back with the German stream, the line's going all over the place. Missed Monaco and FYROM.

Poland - FEATURING THE REAL MCCOY!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:55 (nineteen years ago)

It's Poland!
With The Real McCoy to start things!

The real REAL McCoy from MC Sar!
haha x-post

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:55 (nineteen years ago)

is it true Lordi have to go on after the 9pm tv watershed in the UK, as they will scare kids, middle-aged housewives and grannies ?

pictures and info of the ridiculous OTT camp metal band Lordi
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lordi

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:56 (nineteen years ago)

It's a piano! Stage masks! Wedding trains! A man with green hair whose voice makes Van Morrison sound healthy!

This is going through, isn't it? Oh dear.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:57 (nineteen years ago)

Haha, I was just gonna post here that Poland has hired MC Sar for their act! Definitely the best show so far! But what's up with the green wig?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:57 (nineteen years ago)

Lordi = Finland's answer to GWAR
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GWAR

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:58 (nineteen years ago)

So far:
Poland
Belgium
Monaco

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:58 (nineteen years ago)

EUROVISION MEME 2006 PT. 3: CUNNILINGUS

And now, the big mover in the betting: Russia. REally not sure why, but here we go anyhow...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 18:59 (nineteen years ago)

are Lordi related to Klingon
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klingon

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:00 (nineteen years ago)

No, this is terrible. Maybe he's a hit with the laydees?

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:00 (nineteen years ago)

a part of that reminded me of "seven tears" by the goombay dance band.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:00 (nineteen years ago)

The polish entry i mean.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:01 (nineteen years ago)

They've borrowed Poland's piano by virtue of Poland forgetting to take it off the stage.

Here's some ballet dancers. I still don't get why people reckon this is doing well. He just did a bunny hop. Someone will have to pick that mic stand up.

Ah, THAT's why they had the piano!

EUROVISION 2006 STAGING MEME #4: UNDEAD BALLET DANCERS EMERGING FROM PIANO

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:01 (nineteen years ago)

And now, the continuation of the gradual decline of Turkish Eurovision. I think.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:02 (nineteen years ago)

it came out of the piano. the albino thing came out of the piano.

oh dear.

between that and greenie from poland i think i am going to be having some bad dreams.

― wolves (wolves), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:02 (nineteen years ago)

THEO ZAGORAKIS!

Sibel Tuzun's hobby - rally co-driver.

Ooh, this is a promising opening.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:03 (nineteen years ago)

I think it's a decent disco tune (Turkey). But she's a bit scary.

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:03 (nineteen years ago)

I didn't see it but Albini rising from a piano would've been much better.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:04 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, the folly of heels. Sibel's dance move - hip thrusting. Because she can't really do much else in those things.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:05 (nineteen years ago)

Wow, i really liked Turkey.

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:05 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, and Turkey had the hottest female singer so far.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:06 (nineteen years ago)

What eastern european country will they let win this year?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:07 (nineteen years ago)

Wot? she was SCARY

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:08 (nineteen years ago)

I like the beat to Ukraine's song. And no disco strings!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:08 (nineteen years ago)

This is the Ukrainian Shakira isnt it?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:09 (nineteen years ago)

The Ukraine singer however...

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:09 (nineteen years ago)

time for LORDI

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:09 (nineteen years ago)

Ukraine - think this may be a return to the early mediocrity. Let's see if they've bothered adding any verses.

Ooh, nice boots. Tina's vocals channelling Shakira like no-one's business.

STAGING MEME #6: SKIPPING!

SEcond detachable skirts of the evening, there.

This is all very amiable, but a qualifier? Probably not. They do repeat that chorus just a bit too much.

STAGING MEME #7: COMPLETELY UNNECCESSARY TAMBOURINES

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:10 (nineteen years ago)

Here we go. I've still never heard Lordi despite seeing them so much in magazines over the years.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:10 (nineteen years ago)

German commentator suggests covering the eyes of the kids...

HAT OF THE YEAR CONTEST - IT IS OVER!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:11 (nineteen years ago)

I thought it was gonna be the chorus to Poison by Alice Cooper for a min.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:12 (nineteen years ago)

IS LORDI'S KEYBOARD PLAYER A GIRL?????

DEATH TO FALSE METAL!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:12 (nineteen years ago)

Hahahah those wings!

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:12 (nineteen years ago)

She's giving that Yamaha a good hammering though.

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:13 (nineteen years ago)

STAGING MEME #8 = MY WINGS ARE LIKE A SHIELD OF STEEL!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:13 (nineteen years ago)

This better make it so I can hear Terry's opinions.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:14 (nineteen years ago)

why is it not suprising that there is a lack of closeups on leather-face playing guitar?

― wolves (wolves), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:14 (nineteen years ago)

MEME #9 = PYROTECHNIC GUITARS! FUCK YES!

Koen, I feel for your girls, having to follow that.

Here's the green room. Six songs from the end. That's... timing. I suppose.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:14 (nineteen years ago)

odd banter...

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:15 (nineteen years ago)

I thought Lordi's show was kinda static, he just stood there. But the wings were cool.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:15 (nineteen years ago)

Oh you're right, WE're up.

Hup Holland Hup

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:15 (nineteen years ago)

The carpet-bomb technique of interviewing here.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:15 (nineteen years ago)

Note: the language you will hear is NOT exactly Dutch

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:16 (nineteen years ago)

EUROVISION 2006 UNUSUAL ILLNESS #1: SAKIS ROUVAS THUMB

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:16 (nineteen years ago)

can i be 1st to say thats a nice set of bongos?

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:17 (nineteen years ago)

They belong in a different Eurovision age. A simpler time.

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:18 (nineteen years ago)

Incidentally, Holland are followed by Lithuania. Thanks for turning up, girls. Help yourself to sandwiches on the way out.

"Today, class, we are going to learn about VOCAL HARMONY. This album is by Paul Simon, and it is called GRACELAND. It is VERY FAMOUS."

That is some really, really crap ass shaking, there.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:19 (nineteen years ago)

Oh God they'll finish LAST won't they?

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:19 (nineteen years ago)

They sound like they're totally out of breath from...something

― Double Treble, Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:19 (nineteen years ago)

They have done a horrid job mic'ing up those drums.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:20 (nineteen years ago)

Oh well. From a group of well-intentioned primary school teachers, to a group of slightly pished physics teachers.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:21 (nineteen years ago)

Haha, this is so excellent...

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:21 (nineteen years ago)

A David Brent dance!

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:22 (nineteen years ago)

Oh man...

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:23 (nineteen years ago)

Y'know... I could live with this qualifying. Ahead of, say, Russia. I mean, one of these fellers is in Skamp. They were quite good.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:23 (nineteen years ago)

That wasn't any worse than the UK entry.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:24 (nineteen years ago)

Portugal. Put the kettle on, and miss... fuck all.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:24 (nineteen years ago)

This *should* qualify. It's just too bad that Iceland's Sylvia Night goes one better by actually congratulating us, the audience, with..herself.

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:24 (nineteen years ago)

Haha this lot just got called "the girls aloud of portugal" I guess we have an ILM winner then...

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:25 (nineteen years ago)

Waterloo!

― Double Treble, Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:25 (nineteen years ago)

Congratulations Holland, you're not coming last.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:26 (nineteen years ago)

It has Portuguese 'r's in it Will...

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:26 (nineteen years ago)

Dude, there's Portuguese 'r's, then there's Marisa Monte's Portuguese 'r's. And then there's that, which was a steaming pile of shit.

"Let's go, girls. Come along. Let's go."

And now, the second favourite for the entire competition. Remember when Germany were really hotly tipped about three or four years ago, then came about twentieth?

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:28 (nineteen years ago)

Farah Fawcett hair! (except brown)

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:29 (nineteen years ago)

Carola appears to be wearing a bridal train the size of a marquee. Oh, she's taken it off now.

Right, where's the fireworks? Oh, flags first.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:30 (nineteen years ago)

Seriously, where's the fireworks? The camera pulled back to the whole arena and... nothing.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:31 (nineteen years ago)

Singing "Invincible" and waving white flags around, classic or...

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:31 (nineteen years ago)

Hmm. It was more spectacular at the Melodifestivalen, but it was sung much better there.

Estonia. This, I sense, may be the one that qualifies about eighth or ninth.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:32 (nineteen years ago)

How many more? I have to go do the dishes...

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:32 (nineteen years ago)

It's the asymmetric Power Ranger!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:33 (nineteen years ago)

LITHUANIA WAS THE BEST!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:33 (nineteen years ago)

(two after this)

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:33 (nineteen years ago)

My mate texted me to check out big brother. This dickhead called pete(clearly on something) entered. And now i know I didnt waste my night watching Eurovision song contest semis.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:33 (nineteen years ago)

isn't that guitar bit an abba riff? is it "tiger"?

― stevepaperjam, Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:34 (nineteen years ago)

"Die Eurovisions-Barbie" according to German commentator. Not really wrong.

Bosnia now, bringing that sensitive stuff kids go for.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:36 (nineteen years ago)

Twenty-two songs in, and here's the first accordion.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:36 (nineteen years ago)

One of the few songs tonight that's got its pacing dead on. Ladies and gentlemen, we have ourselves a fully fledged dark horse.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:38 (nineteen years ago)

Sylvia!

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:39 (nineteen years ago)

That's through, no trouble.

And finally - hey, you, looking at her, she's talking to you. Iceland.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:39 (nineteen years ago)

THEY ARE BOOING! AND NOW THEY ARE CHEERING!

MEME #11: NOVELTY SHOE-SHAPED SLIDE

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:41 (nineteen years ago)

Eurovision is even weirder when you're getting the chopped 'n' screwed remake.

― Eppy (Eppy), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:42 (nineteen years ago)

I mean, you get way more time than you really want to focus on the terrifying facial expressions.

― Eppy (Eppy), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:43 (nineteen years ago)

Dear God.

― d4niel coh3n (dayan), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:43 (nineteen years ago)

What's with the booing? This was the best of the bunch!

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:43 (nineteen years ago)

AND NOW THEY ARE BOOING AGAIN!

I've run out of memes. Dear Christ.

"Men ein hotpants." Surely 'ins'? Or 'Auf'? I forget.

But yeah, Silvia must get through. Probably about... sixth.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:44 (nineteen years ago)

It's the Greek Klitschkos!

"You have the honour of helping us... turn the sandglass over."

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:45 (nineteen years ago)

Mit einen, probably?

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:46 (nineteen years ago)

"Männer in Hotpants."

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:46 (nineteen years ago)

Yea, Silvia was great! But what does it tell there's not one but two entries satirizing the whole Eurovision contest?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:47 (nineteen years ago)

Rooting for:
Belgium
Poland
Turkey
Monaco
Ukraine
Iceland
and Lithuania.

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:48 (nineteen years ago)

But what does it tell there's not one but two entries satirizing the whole Eurovision contest?

That 21 countries are missing the point?

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:49 (nineteen years ago)

BOOING!!! x-post

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:50 (nineteen years ago)

Yeah, but the whole point of the contest is camp, and camp doesn't work if it's too self-conscious.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:51 (nineteen years ago)

Right then, going through, I reckon:

Belgium
Iceland
Finland
Bosnia
Lithuania
Sweden
Cyprus (didn't see it, but there was definite cheering)
Estonia
Poland
Albania (well, I voted for it. He seems like a nice boy, y'know)

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:51 (nineteen years ago)

Lithuania's satire was better though, it wasn't condescending. My vote goes to them.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:52 (nineteen years ago)

"My goodness, aren't they great."

And, as Terry warned us the other night, The Hosts Are Going To Sing.

"Griechenland's Top-Singer, Der Popstar Nummer Eins..."

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:52 (nineteen years ago)

Incidentally, has anyone figured out how to get the BBC thing working? I'd love to hear what poor old Paddy O'Connell's making of all this.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:54 (nineteen years ago)

"Maria gemeint er war ein winner..."

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:55 (nineteen years ago)

I want Finland and Lithuania through.

I can see Ukraine winning though.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:56 (nineteen years ago)

And now, the semi-final interval show. Presumably, this is like the final interval show, Only Worse.

Oh look, it's Pan. Fuck off, Pan.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:57 (nineteen years ago)

Pan has summoned the woodland creatures to make fanny amongst the traditional dancers. And in the background, there's the devil. Getting a noticeably better reception than Silvia.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 19:59 (nineteen years ago)

The devil replaces his devil mask with the mask of a cow.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:01 (nineteen years ago)

The devil fucks off. Here's some more dancers. This stage... really not that great.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:02 (nineteen years ago)

And now, the heart of the matter.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:04 (nineteen years ago)

Prediction...going through:

Ukraine
Belgium
Russia
Turkey
Monaco
Poland
Finland
Sweden
Iceland
Belarus

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:04 (nineteen years ago)

They run through those already qualified. With the obvious exception of the home nation, the best reception is pretty clearly for... Germany.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:08 (nineteen years ago)

In a tribute to the Great Fire Of London, the envelopes are passed hand to hand down the staircase.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:09 (nineteen years ago)

I have not seen many envelope openings in my life, but this is quite comfortably the worst.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:10 (nineteen years ago)

Russia. Eh?

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:11 (nineteen years ago)

And now, Macedonia. I think this happened last year too. C'MON KATE.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:12 (nineteen years ago)

Bosnia.

Maria and Sakis have difficulty counting to seven.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:12 (nineteen years ago)

Lithuania. Excellent.

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:12 (nineteen years ago)

And Lordi. Oh yes.

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:13 (nineteen years ago)

THE AUDIENCE SQUEAL LIKE GIRLS

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:14 (nineteen years ago)

Ukraine OK

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:14 (nineteen years ago)

SHUT UP MARIA

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:14 (nineteen years ago)

Lordi!!!!
oh no Ireland.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:14 (nineteen years ago)

IRELAND???

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:15 (nineteen years ago)

GO RUSSIA aaaahahahaha!!!!
:P

― nique (nique), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:15 (nineteen years ago)

SHUT UP BRIAN

Who's gonna miss out? There's several big names left...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:15 (nineteen years ago)

C'MON KATE...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:16 (nineteen years ago)

Sweden through...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:16 (nineteen years ago)

Turkey. Good.

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:16 (nineteen years ago)

How the fuck did Turkey get through???

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:17 (nineteen years ago)

Good god, I've seen school fetes administered better than this...

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:17 (nineteen years ago)

By having a fine song!

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:17 (nineteen years ago)

Oh god - Silvia or Kate?

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:17 (nineteen years ago)

Armenia. No Sylvia, no Kate.

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:18 (nineteen years ago)

No Kate. Unbelievable.

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:18 (nineteen years ago)

ARMENIA?

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:19 (nineteen years ago)

I know!

(We both picked 5 out of 10, I think.)

― naranjito (Koens), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:20 (nineteen years ago)

armenia i'm shoked
he missed notes so much :::)))

― nique (nique), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:20 (nineteen years ago)

Oh just what we need. A jimmy Saville impersonation by Daz Sampson.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy (Kerr), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:21 (nineteen years ago)

Fucking hell.

C'MON DAZ.

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:24 (nineteen years ago)

the East European mafia did well as usually...

― Arnar Eggert Thoroddsen (arnart1802), Thursday, 18 May 2006 20:46 (nineteen years ago)

A shame Belgium and Iceland didn't go through to the finals.

Carola will of course win anyway. Not the best song, but one of them, and an experience Eurovision act putting on a great show.

And Sweden will get 12 from Norway. The Swedish song is already in our singles sales list :)

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Thursday, 18 May 2006 21:16 (nineteen years ago)

BBC website reporting that the actual winner of the semi was, er, Turkey.

Eh?

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 18 May 2006 21:17 (nineteen years ago)

I can't believe Kate didn't get through. Unbelievable!

― pleased to mitya (mitya), Thursday, 18 May 2006 21:22 (nineteen years ago)

BELGIUM DIDN'T MAKE IT?

FUCKERS!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 18 May 2006 21:56 (nineteen years ago)

AND FUCKING LITHUANIA DID?

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 18 May 2006 21:57 (nineteen years ago)

Granted, I'm basing this on listening to the CDs, not the performance, but, really, WHAT THE FUCK?

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 18 May 2006 22:06 (nineteen years ago)

Lithuania probably got most of the votes for the most devoted Eurovision-haters. Those who vote for the most ridiculous entry of the night just as an act of protest.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Thursday, 18 May 2006 23:21 (nineteen years ago)

I thought Lithuania's song was catchy and funny, and sure it was also gimmicky, but hey, this is the Eurovision song contest! It's really all about the show and not songcraft. How many Eurovision winners besides "Waterloo" can you name? Do you think Dana International won because "Viva la Diva" was such a great tune?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 May 2006 23:29 (nineteen years ago)

Monaco was robbed.

― Sami (Sami), Friday, 19 May 2006 01:16 (nineteen years ago)

Does this mean Belgium doesn't have enough friends among all the new Eastern European countries?

― StanM (StanM), Friday, 19 May 2006 05:21 (nineteen years ago)

iceland out! didn't the voters read Dom's plea in today's Guardian?!

― Britain's Obtusest Shepherd (Alan), Friday, 19 May 2006 07:53 (nineteen years ago)

Usually, Belgium, Netherlands, UK, Ireland and Iceland are the countries findind least favour among the new Eastern/Southern European mafia ruling Eurovision. The Scandinavian countries fare a little better, partly because we vote for each other.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 19 May 2006 08:47 (nineteen years ago)

Haven't got time to read this thread but:

1. WZ ROBBED:
Belgium (a decent Rachel Stevens B-side, only song I voted for)
Monaco (fantastic song - well, it would be since it rips off "Snoopy vs The Red Baron" almost note-for-note - let down by a weak vocal performance on the night)
Estonia

2. UNDESERVING FINALISTS:
Turkey (wtf? Rubbish tune and she can't sing)
Lithuania (ha ha yes I get it. Now fuck off)

3. PLEASED TO SEE GET THROUGH
Armenia
Bosnia & Herzegovina
Ukraine (OK, she's a Shakira copyist, but what a voice)
Finland obv.

― Jeff W (zebedee), Friday, 19 May 2006 09:37 (nineteen years ago)

I think Armenia's song was rather boring, but the singer was cute and had wonderful eyebrows. Still, I was surprised that it made it through. Turkey's song had better verses than choruses, but I definitely think they had the hottest female singer there. Sweden's performance was nice, and the song was okay but cut in the most obvious Abba-Eurovision-mold, which might actually mean a victory for them. Still, the most obvious Abba pastiché, Portugal, didn't make it, maybe because they were ripping off "Waterloo" a bit too much.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 19 May 2006 10:07 (nineteen years ago)

Just watching the videos on eurovision.tv, and I still think Turkey's is an excellent song, including the chorus with the rapid pitch change. Solid old school disco with added 'eastern' touches.

And yes, Armenia is boring. And yes, Monaco wz robbed.

I only just found out I haven't heard Las Ketchup's song for Spain yet!

― naranjito (Koens), Friday, 19 May 2006 10:30 (nineteen years ago)

Armenia had their special bondage gimmick to get them through!

Turkey's singing on the night wasn't great though. Also she is as rough as a badger's arse - she makes Anastasia look like Kirsten Dunst. Cute dancers though (who are actually english, as the bbc announcer reminded us 15 times throughout the evening).

Estonia was a blatant abba rip off too.

― Mark C (Markco), Friday, 19 May 2006 11:00 (nineteen years ago)

I would like to ask that you all vote for Romania now.

― edward o (edwardo), Friday, 19 May 2006 11:37 (nineteen years ago)

I mean, no Slovenia, no Belgium and no Iceland. I mean, what the fuck.

― edward o (edwardo), Friday, 19 May 2006 11:39 (nineteen years ago)

Why did you all like Belgium? I thought their tune was as generic as a pop song can be.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 19 May 2006 11:51 (nineteen years ago)

I stated my reasons above. Also: "Shut that door"

― Jeff W (zebedee), Friday, 19 May 2006 12:15 (nineteen years ago)

Of the underdogs, Lithuania - whose act comprises six men in suits singing "we are the winners of Eurovision" - were surprise qualifiers for the final.

orly?

― mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 19 May 2006 14:34 (nineteen years ago)

Still a bit typical how even the supposedly "modern" pop songs in Eurovision are still 10 years behind. In the 70s, ABBA revolutionized the contest with a song that was basically a Phil Spector influenced-60s song. In the 90s, most of the entries sounded a lot like 80s efforts, as does also the Finnish entry this year (and the Norwegian one last year). And Carola's favourite is basically a typical mid 90s Eurodance pop tune, sounding a bit like Aqua and similar acts.

When Gina G did indeed host a trendy Eurodance tune in 1996, she flopped, as did also UK 1995 (rap), Belgium 1980 (synthpop), Denmark 1982 (synthpop), Finland 1982 (heavy rock) and Norway 1999 (R&B influenced teenybopper pop). All of them sounding very trendy for Eurovision at the time, but obviously too trendy and modern for most Eurovision voters.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 19 May 2006 17:00 (nineteen years ago)

Also, UK, usually the most "trendy" country, has seen a bunch of flops lately. The only recent UK win was in 1997, with a timeless song that might as well have been written in 1970.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Friday, 19 May 2006 17:01 (nineteen years ago)

I disagree Monaco wz robbed -- surely the vocal performances were horrendously out of key throughout?

― The Vintner's Lipogram (OleM), Friday, 19 May 2006 19:51 (nineteen years ago)

Also big hand for this thread (and esp to Mr Swygart) for excellent accompaniment to my semidrunken viewing of semifinals tonight -- I think I'll see if I can get computer and TV to work in the same room tomorrow. :)

― The Vintner's Lipogram (OleM), Friday, 19 May 2006 19:54 (nineteen years ago)

nine months pass...

That Scooch song is quite extraordinary: "Something to suck, sir?"

― chap, Sunday, 18 March 2007 00:40 (nineteen years ago)

Not heard it. But wish I had watched it for the cock up.
Eurovision is gonna suck this year compared with last years.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy, Sunday, 18 March 2007 00:43 (nineteen years ago)

Right, now which country other than England is going to vote for this?

― Mark G, Sunday, 18 March 2007 00:43 (nineteen years ago)

Countries can't vote for themselves.
I wanted Justin Hawkins to get through and get nil points.

― Brigadier Lethbridge-Pfunkboy, Sunday, 18 March 2007 00:51 (nineteen years ago)

His song was rubbish.

― chap, Sunday, 18 March 2007 00:52 (nineteen years ago)

No, you see England has just voted for it. That's why it won today.

― Mark G, Sunday, 18 March 2007 00:55 (nineteen years ago)

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