Worst Music Writing 2007

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http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/feature/40840/Live_Live_The_Good_the_Bad_and_the_Queen

A dreary, depleted port town two hours west of London, Bristol was once where, among other things, tobacco came into England. Now, littered with empty packs that read "Cigarettes Can Cause a Slow and Painful Death", the city sits in a purgatorial fog. "It reeked of sleep", Martin Amis wrote in London Fields. "Somnopolis. It reeked of it, and insomniac worry and disquiet and thwarted escape. Because we are all poets or babies in the middle of the night, struggling with being"... If I weren't standing here, the venue would seem as though Albarn invented it in one of his songs.

― Hell Hath No Furry (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 1 February 2007 11:58 (eighteen years ago)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Holy fucking crap.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 1 February 2007 13:20 (eighteen years ago)

Last sentence appears to be missing a rather key word. Also, Bristol.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 1 February 2007 13:24 (eighteen years ago)

Seriously, how fucking cosseted and priveleged a life must you have lived to think that Bristol is rundown?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 1 February 2007 13:25 (eighteen years ago)

UH OH

― Michael Philip Philip Philip Philip Annoyman (Ferg), Thursday, 1 February 2007 13:26 (eighteen years ago)

Next week I'm going to gigs in Bristol on Thursday and Saturday.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 1 February 2007 13:27 (eighteen years ago)

Be sure that you don't kill yourself with depression over witnessing the rundown urban squalor of all the lawyers walking around the waterfront district art galleries.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 1 February 2007 13:29 (eighteen years ago)

BRISTOL - GATEWAY TO THE SOUTH

I suppose as hatted groups go they're better than Orson.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Thursday, 1 February 2007 13:30 (eighteen years ago)

(xpost)

That's actually a pretty GOOD reason to stick one's head an oven.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Thursday, 1 February 2007 13:31 (eighteen years ago)

surely Amis is writing about, er, London, in that extract from London Fields?

― b ham (b ham), Thursday, 1 February 2007 13:31 (eighteen years ago)

indeed

― the original hauntology blogging crew (Enrique), Thursday, 1 February 2007 13:38 (eighteen years ago)

Patrick Wolf @ The Thekla = seventh circle.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 1 February 2007 13:46 (eighteen years ago)

Just noticed "Mozart's 'Ode To Joy'" in there as well

― Hell Hath No Furry (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 1 February 2007 13:47 (eighteen years ago)

Old Market isn't Bristol's finest area... but Jesus!

Also, I was out on Saturday evening and I didn't see any purgatorial fog at all.

― Bobby Peace (Bobby Peace), Thursday, 1 February 2007 14:03 (eighteen years ago)

Bristol has been a city, not a "town", since 1542, and is certainly no longer a port.

― Neil Stewart (Neil Stewart), Thursday, 1 February 2007 14:11 (eighteen years ago)

"relentless self-invention"

― mike t-diva (mike t-diva), Thursday, 1 February 2007 14:18 (eighteen years ago)

The best part, presumably, of being Albarn is that every now and then there are nights like this when the world seems to bend to the shape of his art.

― a nuclear-powered carrot (braveclub), Thursday, 1 February 2007 14:22 (eighteen years ago)

http://chrisnolan.ca/photos_loc/blog/00000088/thumbs/tn__pg01-Madrox-no3.jpg

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 1 February 2007 14:24 (eighteen years ago)

When you're never really anybody, there's no telling where you might end up.

what on earth does he think this means?!

― lex pretend (lex pretend), Thursday, 1 February 2007 14:30 (eighteen years ago)

haha "relentless" self-invention sounds really unpleasant - it is prob the most otm phrase in the whole piece

― lex pretend (lex pretend), Thursday, 1 February 2007 14:30 (eighteen years ago)

LEX LOVES ELBOW LEX LOVES ELBOW INDIE INDIE INDIE

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 1 February 2007 14:42 (eighteen years ago)

that's pretty arrogant writing. i'd be fairly annoyed if i came across a reference to my city as "dreary, depleted".

― Charlie Howard (the sphinx), Thursday, 1 February 2007 15:10 (eighteen years ago)

I've never been annoyed by characterizations of my city as dreary or depleted, mainly because it's at least in part accurate, but I can't speak for Bristol.

― Alex in Baltimore (Alex in Baltimore), Thursday, 1 February 2007 15:19 (eighteen years ago)

try living in philadelphia when even the mayor was bombing it from above.

anyway, my peoples are from bristol so lay off! you know, like 400 years ago, but still...

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 1 February 2007 15:21 (eighteen years ago)

Yr peoples left bcz of the dreariness!

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Thursday, 1 February 2007 15:47 (eighteen years ago)

Bristol, former capital of the British slave industry.

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:00 (eighteen years ago)

So it holds a special place in your heart then.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:02 (eighteen years ago)

Bristol can be pretty dreary, but that applies to pretty much everywhere, surely. Bristol certainly doesn't have a monopoly on dreariness in terms of British cities!

― Neil Stewart (Neil Stewart), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:10 (eighteen years ago)

is the writer british?

― the original hauntology blogging crew (Enrique), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:15 (eighteen years ago)

Considering he uses the term "soccer jersey", I'm guessing not.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:16 (eighteen years ago)

Let me nominate the Shins review they had on NPR the other day. If anyone can find it online, post it, because it's fucking embarrassing and awful.

― Period period period (Period period period), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:18 (eighteen years ago)

Maybe Pitchfork subs Americanize copy from UK writers... someone will know

― Hell Hath No Furry (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:26 (eighteen years ago)

let's see if 2007 can beat Cokemachineglow's Isis review:

http://www.cokemachineglow.com/reviews/isis_intheabsenceoftruth2006.html

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:32 (eighteen years ago)

This may be of interest:
http://rockcritics.com/features/jasongross2006_ignobles.html

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:34 (eighteen years ago)

xpost: unless it was deliberately awful, of course. the following extract might be a bit of a give-away: "struggling to write well with such uninspiring source material."

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:35 (eighteen years ago)

philly is the biggest wannabe city around. so...effing....awful.

― the table is the table (treesessplode), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:35 (eighteen years ago)

OH MICKEY :-(

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:38 (eighteen years ago)

This may be of interest

HUGE roffle at the second entry there.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:38 (eighteen years ago)

philly is the biggest wannabe city around. so...effing....awful.

That's a pretty dumb thing to say, but I'm also not sure what it's doing on this thread.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:39 (eighteen years ago)

it was cuzza my post earlier.

― scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:40 (eighteen years ago)

oh no, it's happening again!

― Ska Punk/Ned Raggett/aNtiCHriSt (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:41 (eighteen years ago)

Oh yeah, missed that.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 1 February 2007 16:41 (eighteen years ago)

........."the sound coming out of the shed was perfect,a sirens song of cicada like rhythms and circular breathing chants.A palpable sense of brotherhood was evident when the participants finally emerged.Swathed in unknowable scents and fingerpainted mandalas on their chestnut faces,they let go a war whoop of confident alliance before they laid down vocals for their next track"

― dan bunnybrain (dan bunnybrain), Thursday, 1 February 2007 22:52 (eighteen years ago)

never say siren song

― friday on the porch (lfam), Thursday, 1 February 2007 22:53 (eighteen years ago)

"Punk is back!! and Goodys Stores has got 'em.Posable rubber action figures engage in musical poses and can be bent any way you want!!As a dedicated dealer you will also get 3D Punk Is Back posters.Realistic leather jackets and ripped jeans are just part of the amazing detail given to each figure.Order all 5!..1-Polly(with ripped dress),2-Frankie(with ripped jeans),3-Casey(with boom box),4-XXXEna(with rubber whip),5-Pete(with guitar)"..

― dan bunnybrain (dan bunnybrain), Thursday, 1 February 2007 22:57 (eighteen years ago)

surely that Ben Jensen Pazz & Jop "piece" belongs here...?

― Shakey Mo Collier (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:01 (eighteen years ago)

Maybe Pitchfork subs Americanize copy from UK writers... someone will know

Umm yeah, I wouldn't take "soccer" as an indication either way. It doesn't even require an editor -- I'd assume plenty of British writers submitting pieces for American publications would switch to "soccer" as a matter of course.

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:05 (eighteen years ago)

Heh, when I studied in the UK I got excited about being able to use British spellings and probably overdid it on my term papers, one of which used the word "programme" over and over.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:08 (eighteen years ago)

"soccer" for "football", yeah. Not "jersey" for "shirt", though.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:09 (eighteen years ago)

Oh, sorry: I was not aware y'all did not use "jersey" like that. Possibly better evidence, then, yes!

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:30 (eighteen years ago)

Wait, Nabisco NOT OTM?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:31 (eighteen years ago)

we should start a compilation thread of such limited occurrences.

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:33 (eighteen years ago)

Umm, wait, a google search turns up severak million hits for "England football jersey," so ... umm, I think some of you may indeed be using it that way.

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:33 (eighteen years ago)

YOU'RE NOT FIT TO WEAR THE JERSEY
YOU'RE NOT FIT TO WEAR THE JERSEY

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:34 (eighteen years ago)

Common parlance = football top. Though I suppose common parlance isn't really what bros aiming for.

― jimn (jimnaseum), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:34 (eighteen years ago)

Football jersey = as worn by goalkeepers. Football shit, as worn by outfield players.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:36 (eighteen years ago)

Football shit

-insert Charlton joke here-

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:37 (eighteen years ago)

Dom has a sensible answer for everything!

― nabisco (nabisco), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:39 (eighteen years ago)

amirite?

-- dommy p is alright WHICH IS A LOT MORE THAN I CAN SAY ABOUT A LOT OF PEOPLE (juror...), November 20th, 2006.

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Thursday, 1 February 2007 23:41 (eighteen years ago)

GET THAT FOOTBALL SHIT OFF PARIS'S THREAD SHOW SOME RESPECT

-- The Lex (alex.macpherso...), November 23rd, 2006.

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Friday, 2 February 2007 00:03 (eighteen years ago)

someone from coke machine glow will win this by year-end

― pinder (pinder), Friday, 2 February 2007 01:17 (eighteen years ago)

someone from coke machine glow will win this by ~~year-end~~mid-February

Fixed.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 2 February 2007 01:21 (eighteen years ago)

i'm glad i still bought that new isis record despite the negative commentary from that 'critic'. his review was so persuasive it might have made me think twice.

― Charlie Howard (the sphinx), Friday, 2 February 2007 02:14 (eighteen years ago)

persuasive? it smacked of desperation, doubtless its point, but the idea was so forced, lame, and badly-executed, that it came off as meta-reviewing of the lowest imaginable order.

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Friday, 2 February 2007 02:21 (eighteen years ago)

Hunter S. Thompson has much to answer for.

― Roger Fidelity (Roger Fidelity), Friday, 2 February 2007 06:55 (eighteen years ago)

I asked Hunter Thompson "how badly-executed does it get?"
Hunter Thompson hasn't answered yet

― Marmot (marmotwolof), Friday, 2 February 2007 07:14 (eighteen years ago)

of course i agree with you, louis :)

― Charlie Howard (the sphinx), Friday, 2 February 2007 07:29 (eighteen years ago)

"What Allen meant, maybe, was that Albarn is a character actor. He writes in the distinctly British tradition of the character song"
??????

he's joking ...right ?

― toe-foo (toe-foo), Friday, 2 February 2007 12:14 (eighteen years ago)

I will be trying my best to win this award in 2007. The problem is that my writing is merely forgettable as opposed to actively awful, but I'll see if I can overcome that. Perhaps a few more "I don't get current music" or "they're pretty good for women" or "watch as i conflate inconsequential band-of-the-moment into the saviors of their so-called generation" stories will do the trick.

― mike a (mike a), Friday, 2 February 2007 18:30 (eighteen years ago)

i'm only gonna write awesome reviews in 2007. this one is awesome:

http://decibelmagazine.com/reviews/feb2007/eyesofligeia.aspx

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 18:54 (eighteen years ago)

Wrong thread, showoff.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:02 (eighteen years ago)

haha i just noticed the mickey slam in the jason gross link

― acid waffle house (dubplatestyle), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:03 (eighteen years ago)

well where is the good stuff thread?? too much bad around.

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:04 (eighteen years ago)

You should start one and call it "I SCOTT SEWARD GET TO WRITE AWESOME FUNNY THINGS AND YOU DEWEY/TRUMAN MOTHERFUCKERS DON'T SO FUCK YOU HERE IS MY THREAD"

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:08 (eighteen years ago)

well that would just be rude.

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:09 (eighteen years ago)

and you can't talk to me that way. i'm a union man.

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:10 (eighteen years ago)

and ANYBODY can write awesome funny stuff! people just have to try and not suck so hard. it's easy!

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:14 (eighteen years ago)

yeah most of us have to deal with EDITORS who are always HARSHING OUR BUZZ MAAAAAAN, try writing for that fucker jessica harvell sometime

i'm actually really disgusted with my longtime free gig because they're all fancy now and i do not fit in

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:18 (eighteen years ago)

I've got my favourite music writing of 07 here as well, if someone wants to star a whole new thread I'll happily c+p this again:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/3amcontent/tm_headline=bruv---hate&method=full&objectid=18424452&siteid=94762-name_page.html

― Hell Hath No Furry (DJ Mencap), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:19 (eighteen years ago)

i only edit people who suck

― acid waffle house (dubplatestyle), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:20 (eighteen years ago)

just kidding freelance pool, i luv u boo

― acid waffle house (dubplatestyle), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:20 (eighteen years ago)

we luv U 2 big papi

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:21 (eighteen years ago)

editors? what's that?

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:24 (eighteen years ago)

i know rite?

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:30 (eighteen years ago)

is jess a stern taskmaster? he IS a tight-ass. god, it must be hell. i feel for you people.

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:32 (eighteen years ago)

we feel ourselves too.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:33 (eighteen years ago)

well, Jess keeps all freelancers under a strict gag order, so you'll have to look for the subliminal cries for help that we slip into reviews (also, Matt, you're doing stuff for BCP? I don't remember seeing any of it, or was it under a pseudonym?)

― Alex in Baltimore (Alex in Baltimore), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:57 (eighteen years ago)

http://img.timeinc.net/ew/img/daily/618/wordbop_l.jpg
"i'll never tell"

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 19:59 (eighteen years ago)

Haikunym's pseudonym is "Vuckovich Oglivie"

― Andy_K (Andy_K), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:03 (eighteen years ago)

I should've known something was up the week the whole music section was written in haiku form.

― Alex in Baltimore (Alex in Baltimore), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:05 (eighteen years ago)

sadly, i've done reviews like that

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:05 (eighteen years ago)

edgar allen po' boy

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:06 (eighteen years ago)

foster brooks robinson

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:07 (eighteen years ago)

i wasn't asleep, i was drunk!

― acid waffle house (dubplatestyle), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:07 (eighteen years ago)

rejected cibula pseudonyms

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:07 (eighteen years ago)

tippecanoe and anne tyler too

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:09 (eighteen years ago)

H.L. "Ric" Mencken

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:11 (eighteen years ago)

omg those last two could actually qualify under this thread's title. wtf, me?

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:12 (eighteen years ago)

the anne tyler one isn't bad. needs a little work. maybe punch it up a little. make every word count. why should i CARE about anne tyler, you know? have it for me by monday?

― scott seward (scott seward), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:19 (eighteen years ago)

OMG HAHAHAHAHAHA

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:20 (eighteen years ago)

http://gulyas.se/images/21hifi-award-ceremony.jpg

― critique de la vie quotidienne (modestmickey), Friday, 2 February 2007 20:23 (eighteen years ago)

The handle PG Six might sound like something you’d spot on the packaging of a tea-based product, but 'Slightly Sorry' contains treats far more potent than a mug of milky brew.
The burgeoning US psych-folk movement may have started making waves in the mainstream only recently, with magnetic minstrels ala Devendra Banhart and Joanna Newsom helping to push the increasingly marketable scene towards mass renown. Yet the cosmically endowed folk revival has been bubbling beneath the surface for quite a while, with artists such as New York-based multi-instrumentalist Pat Gubler - aka PG Six - toiling in the commercial wilderness for years with a series of releases long on influence and critical acclaim but short on sales.

Accessible, diverse and practically oozing with organic, rootsy charms, 'Slightly Sorry' deserves to propel him from the cultish margins he's so far occupied both as a solo artist and member of mid-90's odd-folk trailblazers Tower Recordings.
Stylistically, the platter's palette of inspirations crosses both genres and the Atlantic, combine as it does the laidback lamentations of early-70's Lauren Canyon singer-songwriterdom with the trad. arr. end of folkie formats sampled with most famed aplomb by such veteran UK pickers as Bert Jansch and Davy Graham. The album kicks off with what sounds like bagpipes, but instead of Celtic drones the opener 'Untitled Micro Mini' excels in glistening guitar licks not unlike a raga-less Currituck Co.

'Dance' provides a yearning highlight with such a pronounced 'Harvest'-ian thud you half-expect to Neil Young to step forth for a spot of stinging fretboard workout. Instead, the trembling track heads to a deep-soul territory with a late-night groove that would've been welcomed with open arms at Stax or Hi Studios. 'Bless These Blues' is another superb slice of bittersweet beauty halfway between 'After The Gold Rush' and Al Green, whilst the swirling Hammonds and soulful backing vocals of the Band-esque 'Sweet Music' provide exactly what the title promises. Elsewhere, the haunting, stripped-down glow of 'Strange Messages' is a close relative of Cat Power's 'The Greatest', 'I've Been Travelling' dips into Byrdsian jingle-jangle and the mournful 'Lily of The West' showcases Gubler's expertise of bygone balladeering and virtuoso finger-picking, whilst the spooky 'End of Winter', featuring fellow Tower Recordings alumni Helen Rush on vocals, heads deep into the woods.

If that sounds like a compulsively genre-hopping mess in dire need of a musical identity of its own, fear not. What might seem like a wildly disparate jumble of styles is held together with supreme skill by Gubler's gentle murmur of a voice and the winningly warm ambience that permeates the proceedings. Check it out - you won't be sorry, not even slightly.

― dan bunnybrain (dan bunnybrain), Saturday, 3 February 2007 01:47 (eighteen years ago)

this by Janne Oinonen in entertainmentwise.com

― dan bunnybrain (dan bunnybrain), Saturday, 3 February 2007 01:48 (eighteen years ago)

Have any of you actually seen Rolling Stone's review of Joanna Newsome - Ys?

It puts any other article written to this day to shame.

"Newsom is a classically trained harpist and singer who made a very good 2004 record, but this EP is hard to stomach: Five tracks, four of them more than nine minutes and one ("Only Skin") sixteen-plus, with meandering strings-and-things accompaniment and indulgent vocal quirks that make Bjork sound like Kelly Clarkson."

yeah...Theres even some editorials (which I distinctly remember yet have a hard time digging up) that criticize pitchfork for even placing the album on the top 50 list much less #3

― wesley useche (electronicmaji), Saturday, 3 February 2007 04:49 (eighteen years ago)

haha
'that make bjork sound like kelly clarkson'

what sort of ass-backwards analogy is that

― Charlie Howard (the sphinx), Saturday, 3 February 2007 05:36 (eighteen years ago)

Given that Bjork has lots of vocal quirks and Kelly Clarkson does not, I'm not sure why we'd question the ass-direction of that little bit of rhetoric.

― nabisco (nabisco), Saturday, 3 February 2007 07:26 (eighteen years ago)

Ahem...

Kelly Clarkson has nothing on Shara Worden...

I think I actually spelled that correctly.

― wesley useche (electronicmaji), Saturday, 3 February 2007 07:33 (eighteen years ago)

This is making me depressed.

Scott, you need an assistant, man? Me fetch coffee. You teach the ossum.

― Andi Headphones (Andi Headphones), Sunday, 4 February 2007 17:14 (eighteen years ago)

going back to the piece linked in the question: I'd rather read some muddling internet thing with (failed) literary ambitions that the soul-dead machine-tooled copy in R011ing $t0ne or Blander. actually I prefer to read neither these days but you know what I mean.

― m coleman (lovebug starski), Sunday, 4 February 2007 17:33 (eighteen years ago)

Inspired by Mr. Coleman's preference, I will write my next record review in iambic pentameter, as translated from the Greek.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 4 February 2007 17:49 (eighteen years ago)

Only if it's (failed) iambic pentameter.

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Sunday, 4 February 2007 18:01 (eighteen years ago)

My aim is low.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 4 February 2007 18:03 (eighteen years ago)

^^Elvis Costello-David Bowie mashup!

Ned you've exposed my utter hypocrisy. if you submitted that review when I was an editor you would've been raked over the coals.

― m coleman (lovebug starski), Sunday, 4 February 2007 18:10 (eighteen years ago)

^^Elvis Costello-David Bowie mashup!

Throw in Nick Lowe's Bowi EP and it all makes sense!

if you submitted that review when I was an editor you would've been raked over the coals.

Deservedly so. I should have attempted an Alexandrine.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 4 February 2007 18:11 (eighteen years ago)

I once wrote a Stevie Nicks review as a short story, kind of a "Dear Stevie" letter from a bewitched fan which of course was rejected.

― m coleman (lovebug starski), Sunday, 4 February 2007 18:15 (eighteen years ago)

Will you ever win?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 4 February 2007 18:16 (eighteen years ago)

(xpost PG Six) "cosmically endowed": C'est Moi. M.Coleman, have you seen xgau's stuff in Stone apres Voice? Pretty good, especially for Stone.

― don (dow), Monday, 5 February 2007 01:08 (eighteen years ago)

From a 1300-word (!) review of Klaxons in the NME:

"Nearly a decade ago, rave died as the bloated bastard was kicked from its nightclub residency by a generation of indie kids with an urge to pull the dancefloor from beneath the feet of twats with baggy trousers. Klaxons have resurrected not rave's shoe-gazing trance sound (which, let's face it, was always just prog with a beat), but its manic spirit (something betrayed long ago by the dope-chuffing trustafarian psychedelic-trance twits, who until recently were the last of the ravers). Capturing this errant phantom in a pincer movement of both pop music's self-control and punk rock's roaring passion, Klaxons have achieved both brevity and breadth. Fuck genres, fuck trends, fuck history, this band are only concerned with reshaping guitar music... forever."

http://www.nme.com/reviews/klaxons/8128

― Nedpoleon (NedBeauman), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 13:06 (eighteen years ago)

Derek Bailey beat them to reshaping guitar music about forty years ago.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 13:10 (eighteen years ago)

yeah that's seriously a fucked up statement.

― rizzx (Rizz), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 13:22 (eighteen years ago)

FFS if it's reshaping guitar music forever they could at least get the NAME OF THE ALBUM RIGHT.

The Klaxons record has grown on me though! In fact I'd go so far as to say that it's....better than Spiral Tribe. High praise I know but these lads have earned it.

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 13:22 (eighteen years ago)

But they still have a huge mountain to climb before they can hope to match the awesome peaks of Ozric Tentacles.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 13:24 (eighteen years ago)

This bit's even better:

"Never daring to stand still, this record dances alongside the strange landscapes of melody, dirge and oddity which were built into the pop lexicon by Damon Albarn's ceaseless 15-year writing career. Where once harmonious melody and grimy fuzzcore existed only at polar points of the musical spectrum, both Blur and Gorillaz have seen them learn to sit side by side - and the shadows of Albarn's idiosyncratic touch are all over Klaxons' debut. 'Modern Life Is Ravish' apparently - the godly 'Golden Skans' is 'London Loves' worshipping at a tin-foil altar, while 'As Above So Below' may well have escaped from 'Think Tank''s colourful off-cuts. Still, although they may be picking up Damon's baton of pop alchemy - a desire to pull melodious nuggets from thick swathes of dark noise - Klaxons are charging towards an apocalyptic finishing line which is all their creation."

Ozric Tentacles are possibly my least fave band ever. Jeez, the amount of time's I've had to listen to that crap w/smoking pals. They make me feel ill just thinking about them.

― Raw Patrick (Raw Patrick), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 13:30 (eighteen years ago)

'Where once harmonious melody and grimy fuzzcore existed only at polar points of the musical spectrum'

i.e., prior to The Kinks

― Nedpoleon (NedBeauman), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 13:48 (eighteen years ago)

That Good/Bad/Queen record really isn't very good, is it?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 13:54 (eighteen years ago)

how come you're surprised? is Damon Albarn not the most overrated artist in British history? seriously?

― rizzx (Rizz), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 14:01 (eighteen years ago)

Well there is Shane MacGowan.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 14:17 (eighteen years ago)

yeah but at least he got the looks

― Rizz (Rizz), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 14:28 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.myspace.com/alexmillerwriter

The rave expert featured above's Myspace.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 14:31 (eighteen years ago)

last night i drowned. My eyes pushed their way out from my skeletal crown, the buzzing neuronic flames in my cerebellum were doused and my pink innocent skin shrunk tight about my bones revealing the awkward, brittle structure my life was so dependant upon. But worst of all, my hair went all curly. I was in the Garage, on Holloway Road (the single most evil road in London. It's the kind of road that Jack the Ripper avoided in case anyone should mug him for his flash surgical gear). Like hell it was. The Holloways (named after the road, but not nearly as evil) were gadding about excitingly despite the sweaty puddle which was up to our necks, tickling my adams apple and soaking into my enormous beard. As my imminant deathly doom dawned on me i was filled with a great flooding sense of regret, as every salty bead that ran down my brow brought the putrid puddle closer to my lips i realised that i had contributed to my own destruction "this cannot be the end" i thought.
I won't bore you with the deeply spiritual tale of how i wrestled my way back from the unknown by challenging Death to a series of dramatic contests, but i will inform you of my revelations upon my return to the domain of the flesh-gobblers. My realisations (dismiss them as shallow if you must) pretty much boiled down to the sudden comprehension of incomplete tasks. Had i died that day there would have been one thing i wished that i had achieved. Beaten the fuck out of all the cunts.
So watch your backs people, i'm wearing a suit and i've got a golf club, if you deserve a thrashing then i'm the bastard bringing it. It's going to be like Falling Down with Micheal Douglass, only without the undertones of right-wing sympathy and you know, less mentalism.
I am the angel of death and the moment of ascention ticks ever closer.
Cunts are gonna get bumps!

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 14:32 (eighteen years ago)

Cunts are gonna get bumps!

That line alone has earned him immortality.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 14:35 (eighteen years ago)

Cunts are gonna get bumps!

Is that an MC Hammer reference?

xpost

― Andy_K (Andy_K), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 14:35 (eighteen years ago)

I think he's talking about sebaceous cysts.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 14:37 (eighteen years ago)

Or what's going to happen on Tony Blair's next birthday.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 14:39 (eighteen years ago)

What the ever-loving blue-eyed fuck is that from?

― Telephonething (Telephonething), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 14:56 (eighteen years ago)

It's more review material from the same guy who wrote the Klaxons review. He's my new crush.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 14:56 (eighteen years ago)

he doesn't like holloway road:(

― Friendly Tree (688), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 17:16 (eighteen years ago)

Well there is Shane MacGowan.

I'm beginning to like this Marcello chap.

― to scour or to pop? (Haberdager), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 17:33 (eighteen years ago)

I still can't get over The handle PG Six might sound like something you’d spot on the packaging of a tea-based product.

― Tiki Theater Xymposium (Bent Over at the Arclight), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 17:52 (eighteen years ago)

"PG Tips" is like Lipton in Britain.

― ng-unit (ng-unit), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 18:14 (eighteen years ago)

If anything, knowing that makes it worse

― Hell Hath No Furry (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 20:29 (eighteen years ago)

"my enormous beard"

― Eppy (Eppy), Tuesday, 6 February 2007 21:17 (eighteen years ago)

one month passes...

I reckon people like Jamie T are definitely a welcome hiatus, in what seems to be a pretty bland ‘pop’ (like stuff that your mum will have heard of, and the kids are well into) music industry right now (Yea so apparently Lily Allen was/is alright, but she never quite did it for me. Besides I always think she just sounds like she’s on a permanent come down, keeping herself busy writing songs whilst trying to cut another line).
Ever since I first heard ‘Sheila’, I’ve really been interested in Jamie. I don’t get excited by proper music that often but I’ve been excited about his debut for quite a while, and after giving it a proper listen it really doesn’t disappoint.
It’s got that slick tongue slur that I think we all love him for, as well as his own odd yet spot on production and writing style.
Most of the time the lyrics flow easily, from someone who sounds just at home in his own hip hop style, as he does indie. The lyrics are very close to home, or at least your next door neighbour. (Much like Original Pirate Material, which couldn’t ever be a bad thing).
I could probably go on describing every track, that’s how good it is, but I’d rather just leave you to make your own opinions, after all why should I give you my opinion when you’re much better off making your own?
The long and short of it is, you should really check out this album, even if it’s the only thing you bother listening to this week.

http://muujun.co.uk/index.php/2007/01/29/jamie-t-panic-prevention/

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 17:49 (eighteen years ago)

In the spirit of the Dirty District aesthetic, here’s an experiment for listeners who like to approach hip-hop obliquely: Rather than ironically detaching yourself from mainstream fodder (*cough*50 Cent*hack*Clipse*upchuck*), trying to convince yourself that Young Jeezy is a post-modern savant, or chuckling at being entertained by music that’s “soooo STREET (and soooo not me),” why not engage the music as a collection of abstract patterns and rhythms? Music takes on new dimensions when it’s heard out the side of your ear, the same way night-cloaked office buildings resolve into toy-like planes of light and color when glanced out the corner of an eye.

― Jordan, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 18:28 (eighteen years ago)

Wow, I'd never have guessed someone would mention Pitchfork on this thread.

― stevienixed, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 19:18 (eighteen years ago)

Some hype for the Handsome Furs LP/CD coming up on Sub Pop.

Disenchanted vocals thinly resonate while cloaked in a frenzied undertone of fear and uncertainty, all punctuated by bare drum machine beats. Their debut is a record of melancholic tendency and heartfelt desire; a stripped down symphony relegated between city and country, and made for ears of either side.

I thought it was bad, but pales in comparison...

― factcheckr, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 23:45 (eighteen years ago)

I'm loving this part really...

Skipping 46 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

― factcheckr, Tuesday, 3 April 2007 23:47 (eighteen years ago)

― M@tt He1ges0n, Wednesday, 4 April 2007 00:13 (eighteen years ago)

one month passes...

Arthur Magazine – How It Could Happen to Your Favorite Magazine..or Not.
by Quinn Omori

The fact that I was asked to write up a bit of a eulogy to Arthur Magazine (2002-2007, sort of) is a bit odd for a couple of reasons. For one, I would not count myself amongst the magazine’s core readership. I picked up every third or fourth issue, but it was not something I devoured on a regular basis. If I saw it, I read it. But in the age of endless information, I never felt compelled to actively seek out each new issue.

About a week ago, it was revealed that our dear friend is not so much dead, as he is hibernating. In fact, depending on how fast they can ready a new issue, Arthur’s resurrection could come during the same month this issue of Discorder hits newsstands. But perhaps the strangest part of the request is the fact that nobody else was more qualified than I to do it. That last aside speaks volumes about the publication.

Discorder’s staff pool is brimming with contributors – myself included – that should fit right into Arthur’s niche readership demographic. Most of us are fairly literate – at leVVOast we like to think that we are high-minded – and we get off on seeking out obscure artists, making strange explorations into sound. Yet, for some odd reason, even though everyone seemed to be sure that Arthur’s passing was important, no one was willing or able to express exactly why.

In that way, Arthur is kind of like the literary equivalent of Faust, or Neu!, or the Sugarcubes, or maybe Acid Mother’s Temple. Every music geek worth his or her salt seems to insist that those artists are “seminal,” but you probably only know of two people, tops, who actually own one of their records. In this case, I speak about physical record albums, not some mp3s you grabbed off of Soulseek, which you have never listened to. It is not necessarily a slight against those bands. I have heard them all from time to time, and they are all pretty great. I have just never felt like my life was missing anything when a track from “Stick Around for Joy” has not graced my ears in several months. Same with Arthur – you love it, but you do not miss it: you take it for granted.

There were approximately two dozen hardcore Krautrock fans, out of the roughly eight thousand regular Discorder readers, who were offended by the preceding paragraph. A handful of those folks might also make up some of Arthur’s core readership. To those people, I say: relax and rejoice – your favourite magazine will be back in circulation again soon enough. Arthur, a neglected friend to the rest of us music geeks, will be back, quite literally, before we know it.

http://discorder.ca/2007/05/550/

― everything, Tuesday, 8 May 2007 19:30 (eighteen years ago)

two months pass...

Indie Rock Music: Alternative Rock, College Radio Stations And Promotions

Published: May 22, 2007

A lot has been made over the last several years about the dominance of highly produced and commercialized pop music over the airwaves. Many purists long for the days when music was more raw and unpolished, and the indie rock music scene flourished across the United States. During the early and late 90s, there was even a push in the radio industry to make indie rock music mainstream, resulting in the smash success of bands like REM, Nirvana, Green Day, the White Stripes, and The Strokes creating the genre of Alternative Rock.
Related Articles
Indie Rock Bands
Indie Rock Artists
Indie Rock Record Labels
College Radio
Of course, as soon as those bands hit the big time the community that helped create them abandoned them, adding to the constant paradox that is the indie rock music scene.

The term indie rock music is a kind of misnomer. Taken at face value, indie rock music is any unsigned rock band playing shows. However, to members of the indie rock music scene, it means much more. True alternative rock has to have a kind of non-commercial stance usually with some kind of social or political message. This kind of alternative rock with a meaning has fostered the creation of the indie community which celebrates their non-commerciality and perceives major labels and those who don't share their sentimentalities as the enemy.

There are several hotbeds for this kind of underground music. Probably the most famous club for indie rock music, punk, new wave, and other kinds of underground music was New York's CBGB. CBGB was the launching point for many popular indie rock music acts like The Ramones, The Talking Heads, and Mike DeVille. In a huge blow to the indie rock music scene, CBGB has been closed since 2006, though the owner Hilly Kristal is looking to open a similar club in Las Vegas.

The last bastions for indie rock music acts to appeal to a wider audience than the local club scene are college radio stations.
Given the slant of college radio away from big brand music acts and allowing its DJs to play whatever music appeals to them, indie rock music has gained a foothold in college radio stations across the country. For many acts, college radio promotion allows them to put across their musical message to the masses without the perception that they've sold out to commercial radio. For many of these acts over the years, college radio promotion has lead to such a large foothold in the public consciousness that they attract the attention and money of major record labels. For an act that is tiring of toiling in obscurity for a few hundred dollars a gig, this is often too much to pass up.

Indie rock music is both a blessing and a curse. Truly great indie rock acts can make a living touring the country playing to crowds of a few hundred with their artistic integrity intact. For a lot of bands, however, this is just not an option, and if getting the label of selling out from the indie rock music scene means that they can get a decent salary and play to big crowds, they will. The indie rock music scene is a volatile and ever changing one, but it always thrives just beneath the consciousness o f the public. Those that bemoan the lack of a good indie scene to ward off the mass market acts probably only need to look to their local clubs and bars to see the future of indie music in action.

Source:
“Indie (music).” Wikipedia. 19 May 2007. 20 May 2007. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indie_(music).
Hibbett, Ryan. “What is Indie Rock. Find Articles.” Popular Music and Society. Feb. 2005. FindArticles. 20 May 2007. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2822/is_1_28/ai_n9507897.
Peake, Steve. “College Rock - Alternative When Alternative Wasn't Commercial.” About: 80s Music. 2007. About, Inc. 20 May 2007. http://80music.about.com/od/genresmovements/p/collegerock.htm.
Kristal, Hilly. "The History of CBGB." CBGB. 2007. 20 May 2007. http://www.cbgb.com/history1.htm.

― St3ve Go1db3rg, Friday, 27 July 2007 09:27 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.nylonmag.com/

― Jordan Sargent, Friday, 27 July 2007 11:05 (eighteen years ago)

any piece that uses about.com as a source loses at life.

― maura, Friday, 27 July 2007 11:37 (eighteen years ago)

There are so many gems in that one. Indie rock music is both a blessing and a curse.

― St3ve Go1db3rg, Friday, 27 July 2007 19:19 (eighteen years ago)

"For my report I decided to write about indie rock"

― Hurting 2, Friday, 27 July 2007 19:26 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.indieradiolive.com/

This site is a goldmine!

"With the current pop music charts mostly dominated by dance hall hits and rap music, what seemed like a new rock revolution in the late 90s lead by indie rock bands like The Vines and the White Stripes fell off in favor of more stylized acts and heavily produced pop tracks."

― Martin Van Burne, Friday, 27 July 2007 19:37 (eighteen years ago)

WHO LOST GARAGE REVIVAL?

― Hurting 2, Friday, 27 July 2007 19:40 (eighteen years ago)

The conflation of "indie" and "alternative" is making my head hurt.

― jaymc, Friday, 27 July 2007 19:40 (eighteen years ago)

Oh, go listen to your dance hall hits and rap music, you reactionaries!

The about.com article is also informative, with helpful Smithereens recommendations.

― Martin Van Burne, Friday, 27 July 2007 19:43 (eighteen years ago)

I chuckled at this when I saw it on pfork today:

Indeed, seeing members of self-proclaimed "gypsy punks" Gogol Bordello on stage with the Material Matron during the naval gazing Live Earth festival hints that Eastern European folk-influenced rock acts may have reached maximum visibility.

― St3ve Go1db3rg, Friday, 27 July 2007 22:38 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah, whatever happened to Mike DeVille?!

― If Timi Yuro would be still alive, most other singers could shut up, Friday, 27 July 2007 23:28 (eighteen years ago)

one month passes...

http://icwales.icnetwork.co.uk/0900entertainment/0050artsnews/tm_headline=songs-are-why-i-got-into-musical-rat-race&method=full&objectid=19724848&siteid=50082-name_page.html

This is from my local (tabloid-sized) broadsheet and the fella writing the article is a Welsh singer-songwriter. He's also the paper's CD reviewer.

― DJ Mencap, Wednesday, 5 September 2007 11:12 (eighteen years ago)

six months pass...

We got one of these threads for the 08? Ben Walsh (such a 90s lads mag journo name) decides that an Eagles review is the best place for him to desperately reassert his a) masculinity and b) love of obscure underground counter-culture acts like Neil Young.

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/reviews/the-eagles-o2-centre-london-799750.html

― Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 15:47 (seventeen years ago)

Dissing Level 42 = AUTOMATIC CARLIN FATWA

― Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 15:52 (seventeen years ago)

bad writing, but where's the masculinity stuff?

― Dominique, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 17:47 (seventeen years ago)

british standards of masculinity

― The Reverend, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 18:12 (seventeen years ago)

the whistle only dogs can hear

― omar little, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 19:03 (seventeen years ago)

guy goes to Eagles show, gets all mad that the band he is seeing are the Eagles

― J0hn D., Tuesday, 25 March 2008 19:26 (seventeen years ago)

I'd guess he's bringing up Neil Young to highlight the turns his career took after a successful period in the early 70s, how he managed to reinvent himself now and again, whereas the Eagles got kinda stale. Compare and contrast, innit. Nothing to do with Young being "obscure".

― Bodrick III, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 19:49 (seventeen years ago)

The Eagles didn't get stale, they just quit.

― Bill Magill, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 20:16 (seventeen years ago)

We got one of these threads for the 08? Ben Walsh (such a 90s lads mag journo name) decides that an Eagles review is the best place for him to desperately reassert his a) masculinity and b) love of obscure underground counter-culture acts like Neil Young.
-- Dom Passantino, Tuesday, March 25, 2008 11:47 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Worst Music Reading 2008.

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 21:14 (seventeen years ago)

^^ lives up to name

― banriquit, Tuesday, 25 March 2008 21:15 (seventeen years ago)

two weeks pass...

wtf, that terrible article about joshua bell busking won a PULITZER?!

― Jordan, Monday, 14 April 2008 17:27 (seventeen years ago)

link doesn't work, but that is a little surprising. That article struck me as an unremarkable example of freakonomics journalism.

― Hurting 2, Monday, 14 April 2008 22:33 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html

― Jordan, Monday, 14 April 2008 22:39 (seventeen years ago)

They eat that Dickensian aspect shit up @ PPHQ!

― David R., Monday, 14 April 2008 23:16 (seventeen years ago)

four months pass...

http://therawness.com/fun-with-hipsters-the-digital-internet-jukebox/

Not starting a new thread just for this but jesus fucking christ.

― DJ Mencap, Thursday, 11 September 2008 09:22 (seventeen years ago)

I think the original term for this was "wyatting."

― Marcello Carlin, Thursday, 11 September 2008 10:51 (seventeen years ago)

one year passes...

that hipster article :|

― ('_') (omar little), Saturday, 4 September 2010 00:26 (fifteen years ago)

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