The Worst Punk (as in UK, 1976 to 1983) Single poll......

then mutated into Modern Romance

what, "cherry pink", "best years of our lives" etc etc?!?? thats got to be one of the weirdest changes in musical direction i've ever heard of, i'd never in a million years have connected the two.

yep.

and yeah.

I was listening to that first Drones EP last week, <i>Temptations of a White Collar Worker</i>. Hadn't played it in decades. It's bloody AWFUL!

Never liked Chelsea's monotonously galumphing "Right To Work", either - but I expect to be shouted down on that one.

At least Chelsea were the real deal.

I always felt bad for Gene, as all the other members of the original Chelsea quit and became Generation X. Then I heard Henry Rollins' tour diaries nad found out he was somewhat of a dick really.

Haha - I'm gonna love virtually everything on this thread, I can tell. I love the Drones, but they are a bit crap in truth. Right To Work is pretty immense.

I couple I don't like much :

Aint Bin To No Music School - Ed Banger
Mucky Pup - Puncture (Small Wonder)

I can live without hearing Mencace's GLC again, I think.

But there are some awful records in the second and third wave of punk, that are worse than virtually anything from 76-78. The likes of Abrasive Wheels, Anti-Pasti, Chron Gen et al all released some utter crap.

Well, I always had my doubts about Gene's "real"-ness, and I never really bought into the suspiciously off-pat (if still somewhat muddled) sloganeering of "Right To Work". Maybe 76-era Chelsea had good reasons to jump ship! And hell, 77-era Chelsea were so derivative that they even had a song called "Pretty Vacant" (no relation, honest guv)....

The Drones' "Bone Idol" was much, much better than that shitty first EP.

I nearly mentioned "Mucky Pup" upthread, but the daft lyrics redeem it somewhat. ("The nipples go poink poink" indeed!) BTW, the original members of Puncture were exhumed earlier this year for that Victoria Coren programme about Balderdash and dictionaries, as part of a quest to track down the earliest usage of the phrase "mucky pup".

I don't care about real-ness, but yes RTW is a bit dodgy lyrically. GREAT guitar sound though!

Best Drones track is the one on Live At The Electric Circus - Persecution Complex.

There were lots of pretty awful bands who as far as I remember only had tracks on comps - were there singles by The Sick Things or Acme Sewage Company? I think not.

No, both bands were on that Raw Records comp towards the end of 77. (I have a soft spot for Raw Records, as it was run from my local record shop and Lee Wood was a top bloke...)

Are we counting Oi? Anything by Last Resort and the 4-Skins are worse than 19 and Mad.

19 and Mad's alright really :)

I seem to recall Matt Belgrano released at least one single, which was surely the worst "punk" record of all time (not that I remember it). Maybe post 1983 though.

Well, I was trying to limit it to the 'first rush' to the "second wave" punks.

I never heard that much about the drones apart from "they were bad" but unsure in what way they were bad.

Categories of bad:
a) Blatant bandwagon jumping
b) stereotypical derivation-ness without any inspiration sparks accompanying
c) dumbing down (srsly, how many punks are now revealed to be degree music scholars and/or highbrow TV chefs?)
d) The Pork Dukes

a) is not bad per se - only if the recds are bad.
b) isn't great
c) see a)
d) agreed - whole universe of badness. (They're still going by the way - one of their number did our sound when we played in Hereford a couple of years ago)

Not to piss off Stirmonster too much should he show up on this thread, but Modern Romance is CLASSIC. Apparently some folk from the UK don't realize but various versions/edits of Everybody Salsa/Can You Dance were and still are huge underground american disco/club hits.

"Everybody Salsa" was also a massive club hit in the UK, before people realised who was behind it. Top Three in the Record Mirror club chart on promo, as I recall. It was the rap section in the middle of the 12" that made it, I think - didn't that become re-mixed in its own right as "Salsa Rappsody"?

And re. that first Drones EP: I'd say definitely b), plus a truly awful sludgy production (makes "Chinese Rocks" sound positively hi-fidelity by comparison) and an el cheapo pressing (at 33 rpm, and no track banding - the horror!). The anti-monarchist "Corgi Crap" is particularly dire...

"If it wasn't for the royalty, we'd have a different state! Don't you think so?"

"Monarchy, monarchy, you're cashing in on everything! Royal tour, prices soaring! Can you spare a penny for the Queen? NEVER!"

(Actually, I'm warming to it now...)

"I'm gonna love virtually everything on this thread, I can tell."

Me too!

As I think Mark's hinting, the (second?) (Leyton) Buzzards single "Saturday Night Beneath the Plastic Palm Trees" was actually great - especially the B-side, "Through With You"; and their (third?) "I'm Hanging Around" wasn't too bad either.

With the benefit of hindsight (and a nicely re-mastered CD) I definitely agree that the main problem with the first Drones EP was the mastering (their second single, "Bone Idol" was always great).

Chelsea / Gene October and their moronic anthem "Right To Work" have never exactly been favourites of mine either.

I'd certainly echo The Doc's comments about the 2nd and 3rd waves in general - although personally I thought the first Chron Gen EP ("Puppets Of War") and single (Subway Sadist / "Reality") were both pretty good and Anti-Pasti were actually a great live band who never quite seemed to manage to capture the energy of their live shows on record.

Abrasive Wheels certainly appear to be without any redeeming faetures 'though, as indeed do Last Resort, 4 Skins and likewise I'd suggest GBH, The Blitz, The Business, the Exploited and pretty much anything that ever referred to itself as Oi! - although I must admit to having a soft spot for the Angelic Upstarts, some of the Cockney Rejects early stuff and indeed Discharge before they morphed into a bad Heavy Metal band.

29 years on and I'm still not 100% sure whether The Jerks' "Get Your Woofing Dog Off Me" is actually good in a so-bad-it's-good way, or if it's just rubbish....

I couple I don't like much :

Aint Bin To No Music School - Ed Banger

I love this, if only for Vini Reilly's guitar breaks, which make it sound exactly like someone accidentally played a Durutti Column intro over a Slaughter and the Dogs track.

Hello Stewart!

admit to having a soft spot for the Angelic Upstarts, some of the Cockney Rejects early stuff

Yup. Cockney Rejects were pretty damn great!

I've always liked Slaughter and The Dogs, but It's Alright/Edgar Allen Poe/Twist and Turn is a pretty lame single. It's supposed to be early demos, which were in the possession of TJM after they'd signed to Decca IIRC.

Oh yeah, Good old Decca. Is there anyone they signed in 1977 that didn't regret it six months afterwards (if not sooner)?

Cock Sparrer? Adam and the Ants? Slaughter and the dogs?

And then there were the "punk" singles that nobody talked about or bought, but which were heavily advertised in the music press. Step forward, Joe Cool and the Killers, London... and, er, who else?

Oh yeah, that "London" single... "Siouxsie Sioux" being one of the tracks to entice... It was in Knights' 12" singles box for at least two years without selling at any price. It even looked like it was saying "LOOK KIDS!! WE PUNK!! HEY EVEN WROTE A SONG ABOUT SOMEONE WITH THE SAME NAME AS THE GIRL IN THE BANSHEES!!"

Trying to think what else from 1977 underwhelmed me, but in truth I loved just about all of it.

Oh, I know... 999's "I'm Alive". Didn't do it for me at all, that one. And I never thought much of Skrewdriver Mark One's "Anti-Social" either.

Beyond that, I'm struggling!

"Mary of the Fourth Form" by the Boomtown Rats. Has St. Bob revived this one recently?

"I'm alive" I liked. (Heh, I nearly typed "I'm Alice")

Oh who was that who did "S'cool Days" and they tried to sell it by adding it to an EP along with the mighty Saints' mighty "I'm stranded" on Power exchange?

There were so many "I know, let's sound like the Small Faces played at 55 rpm" type bands...

x-post I'm Alive wasn't bad, but nowhere near as good as Emergency, Homicide, Feelin Alright... etc etc

Should I be pleased nobody else remembers The Pork Dukes or worried that some of you have heard their singles and liked them enough not to mention them in this thread?

Note to Dan - stirmonster doesn't like everybody salsa? but it's the nearest we got to Ze in the UK (apart from Blue Rondo, maybe). Pah, its better than that 'dance and shake your funky tambourine' tune he loves.

I don't remember the thread but we had a "fight" over it, he even said "next thing people are gonna start playing Blue Rondo again, gah!" or so. I hadn't head of them at that point but have picked up a few 12"s since then, they work nicely in a faux-latin way!

Can we get back to talking about rubbish Punk singles?

Soukesian - sorry, In my defence, I mentioned the Pork Dukes, who surely the most wretched collection of singles ever.

Topically, there were quite a few punk christmas songs, I know of two. One was "White Christmas" and was pretty bad. Another was "Oi to the world" which was pretty damn good, but might well be past 1983, I don't know.

Oh, and I have a distant dim memory of one comemmorating Charles and Di's wedding. "She is 20, 'e is 32, but we don't give a toss because their love is true!" Ah well, 2 out of three there.

Rubbish punk singles from 1982:

Smash The Discos EP - The Business (lead track: an Oi version of the Banana Boat Song).

Jet Boy Jet Girl - Chron Gen (yeah, like we need yet ANOTHER cover version).

No Hope For Anyone - Dead Wretched ("No hope for you, no hope for anyone, no hope for the wretched." Uplifting it wasn't.)

Colonel Poo, where are you?

Not to piss off Stirmonster too much should he show up on this thread, but Modern Romance is CLASSIC. Apparently some folk from the UK don't realize but various versions/edits of Everybody Salsa/Can You Dance were and still are huge underground american disco/club hit

i was traumatised by modern romance's top of the pops appearances as a 12 year old and have never really got over it. i think it was probably "ay ay ay ay moosey" that really drove me over the edge. also the fact that my first (unrequited) crush was a huge modern romance fan probably didn't help matters much. it's hard to reappraise when it's so ingrained in my belief system that modern romance = spawn of satan. i have similar problems with imagination for almost identical reasons.

but it's the nearest we got to Ze in the UK (apart from Blue Rondo, maybe). Pah, its better than that 'dance and shake your funky tambourine' tune he loves.

i can actually see the ze thing but as i said, the trauma lingers. as for the universal robot band - j'adore.

next thing people are gonna start playing Blue Rondo again, gah!

thankfully i was wrong although "klacto vee sedstein" IS a thing of greatness however.

Can we get back to talking about rubbish Punk singles?

yes, please carry on.

"i'm forever blowing bubbles" by the cockney rejects and "army life" by the exploited.

Of course, whatever Punk Cred the Leyton Buzzards may ever have had circa "19 And Mad" was forever shattered by their winning a Radio One "Battle of the Bands" concert (which stretched on for weeks as I recall), the prize being a recording contract with Chrysalis... and the ensuing single being "Saturday Night Beneath The Plastic Palm Trees".

Actually, we really should expand this to take in nominations and do a real "worst punk single" poll.

So far:

19 and Mad by the Leighton Buzzards
Temptations of a White Collar Worker by The Drones
Chelsea's monotonously galumphing "Right To Work"
Aint Bin To No Music School - Ed Banger
Mucky Pup - Puncture (Small Wonder)
GLC - Menace
"Bend and Flush" by The Pork Dukes (representative)
The Jerks' "Get Your Woofing Dog Off Me"
Joe Cool and the Killers (tbc)
London (MCA ep, details to follow)
Matt Belgrano (tbc)
999's "I'm Alive".
"Mary of the Fourth Form" by the Boomtown Rats
Smash The Discos EP - The Business
Jet Boy Jet Girl - Chron Gen
No Hope For Anyone - Dead Wretched
"i'm forever blowing bubbles" by the cockney rejects
"army life" by the exploited.

Oy oy, you forgot one: "ANT! EE! SO! SHURRL! I'M ANT! EE! SO! SHURRL! I HATE THE WORRRRLD!"

You're right, I did...

But, on further consideration, I think let's leave that one, as it will probably attract the most votes by dint of being them, even though they bear little relation to the subsequent version.

Mm, take your point...

Developing into a nicely awful list. How about "Nice Legs, Shame about the Face" by The Monks (No, not the garage blokes)

urrrrmmmm.....

1) Not actual punks, but two songwriters ex of the strawbs and Hudson Ford (for it was they) make a songwriters demo for possible coverage by punkers but no takers (they all write their own, natch) so they release it themselves, and it's um... bearable? (Now, if you'd nominated "I aint gettin any" then yeah.)

"a) Blatant bandwagon jumping
b) stereotypical derivation-ness without any inspiration sparks accompanying
c) dumbing down "

Arguably all of the above, but OK, that all falls down if you like it.

sham69 should feature somewhere here

xpost well, if you don't.. it's in.

A few more for consideration:

Cash Pussies - "99% Is Shit" (my review of this monstrocity in Grinding Halt said simply "100% is shit"!)
Cocksparrer - everything I've ever heard by them
Horrorcomic - "I'm All Hung Up On Pierrepoint"
The Others - "Birmingham Reggie"
The Prats - "Inverness" (what a mess!)
Sex Pistols - "No-one Is Innocent" (there was some desperate shit released using the Sex Pistols name from 1978 onwards, but none of them quite as bereft of any redeeming features as this one)
Studio Sweethearts - " I Believe" (Mike Rossi & Howard Bates of Slaughter & The Dogs, Phil Rowland of Eater and a certain Mr. William Duffy in a mercifully short-lived - just the one single, and only one gig too if legend is to be believed - attempt to leap nimbly off of the Punk Rock bandwagon and onto some sort of putative Powerpop equivalent)
The Stoat - "Office Girl"
The Valves - "For Adolf's Only"

(I have been on holiday, back at work today and plowing through 2000 emails, suffice to say I love approx 50% of the songs on this thread! I'll probably add some more suggestions when I've caught up!)

Ed Banger & the Nosebleeds haters are mentalists. Sorry Doc :)

"It was in Knights' 12" singles box for at least two years without selling at any price."

I bet that's where my old mate Dave McCurry got his copy from!

For years afterwards, whenever we sitting around at his place getting pissed and reminiscing about th' good ol' days, he always used to reverentially retrieve that one from it's hiding place and insist on playing it, as if it was some of lost and forgotten holy grail of punk (in much the same way as I would with the Pseudo Existors EP or the first Scars single if we were 'round at my place, of course) and proceed to wax lyrical about the massive critical recognition and acclaim and subsequent world-domination that he was clearly convinced would surely have ensued if only the band hadn't split up in 1978 after The Damned nicked Jon Moss to replace Rat Scabies....

Personally I always thought it was pretty unexceptional.

The Prats - "Inverness" (what a mess!)

Noo, I love this one!

Horrorcomic - "I'm All Hung Up On Pierrepoint"

^^^good pun

The punk equivalent of the Shaggs.

Subsequently, they got a girl (singer?) and tried to relaunch themselves under the same name, but everyone went "nooo, you're that band that are really terrible" and so they had to resign themselves to a rename. And then disappeared.

Was it them who had some track that went "nothing to do! Sit here and be bored!"? I have the earcom 12" with "Bored" but that's not it.

xpost and now it would be "I'm all hung up on Powerpoint" plus ca change.

also:

To get round the PRS factor, shows like Corrie and Crossie would often use generic musics instead of actual records. I'm sure there was one such track that had the singalong chorus of "I like.... PUNK ROCK!!!" back in the day.

The Water Pistols - Gimme That Punk Junk
The Punkettes - Goin' Out With A Punk
Public Skool - Walkin' The Rat

Are three novelty recds that may well qualify. That Pierrpoint recd reminded me of them as all 4 are on 'White Dopes On Punk'.

I won't hear talk of Sham 69 being nominated. They were great!

As I said before by 1979/80 or so, there were dozens of utterly wretched 2nd/3rd wave of punk recds that are waaay worse than almost anything from the early days. I'm thinking of the ingrained stupidity of the likes of The Varukers, Chron-Gen, The Fits etc.

V2 were pretty rubbish - Man in A Box was OK, what was the other single called? The Panik EP 'It Won't Sell' was also pretty dire IIRC - must play that tonight, I could be wrong!

What about some of the crap anarcho-punk bands of the early 80's - were the Subhumans any good? I'd tuned out by then. Colonel Poo?

That Crass "Bullshit Detector" was pretty bad, according to the Crass book (recommended to you all, btw), and seemed more an act of kindness to the bands 'showcased'.

I have all 3 volumes of Bullshit Detector and there's good stuff on all of them, if you like the Prats you'd probably get a kick out of some of it. All really poorly recorded though, like on a dictaphone or something. I have the Story of Crass book if that's what you're talking about.

The Subhumans were great! So were the Varukers. And I just bought the 1st Chron Gen album on CD :D

I'm sure there's Sham 69 singles from 79/80-onwards that would be worthy nominations Dr C!

Ligotage? The Adicts? Major Accident, then? Maybe I am missing out on some good 2nd/3rd gen stuff :)I'd swopped a ripped up leather jacket for a long overcoat by 1979 (metaphorically)

You'll have to make me a compilation, CP.

I notice that Stew mentioned Blitz upthread (I assume he means the bunch from Buxton, not the London ones). I quite liked them - Someone's Gonna Die, Voice of A Generation etc. Their reinvention as doomy Factory types on the second LP 'Second Empire Justice' was really good.

Blitz definitely one of the best Oi bands - and I also like the 2nd album which obviously the Oi fans hated. Stay away from the 3rd album (Killing something) because that one sucks.

I don't know Ligotage! I like the 1st 2 Adicts albums, the 3rd one really stinks though, never bothered with anything after that.

Abrasive Wheels were rubbish though - I do agree there :)

IIRC ligotage was beki bondage <3<3<3<3 after she left vice squad and they were somewhat hanoi rocks-ish and pretty wretched.

There's LOADs of this stuff (2nd/3rd gen indie/kiddiepunk) on youtube.

The worst punk single I remember was this split thing we had at the second hand record store - there were 2 bands, one of which was called hitler ss vogue, and one of the tracks was called "tampax (in the cunt)" I think they were italian. We would put it on from time to time to clear the shop, it really was unbelievably wretched. In one of the band photos, they all loked about 13-14 years old!

Apparently it's a high-ticket collector's item now.

Proof that I'm not making this up:

http://www.7inchpunk.com/?cat=13&paged=3

Holy Shit!

xpost Were the Adicts a clockwork orange styled bunch? I remember pictures in Sounds?

Cor - I wish I could get YouTube at work! That would be a real laugh.

Disorder is a name that springs to mind - weren't they a sub-Discharge bunch, or am I thinking of GBH. Of course there's a whole sub-genre of punk and oi bands that went heavy metal e.g. Cockney Rejects, GBH, who else?

Disorder are still going. Actually I think most of the early 80s ones are in one form or other

One of the kiddiepunk-metal bands made this single that I heard once of annie nightingale's show, it was a perfect cop on Ozzy-era black sabbath's sound, perfect down to actually being great! I've never been able to find out who it was, I think it was discharge, but I don't know.

Oh wow yeah the Tampax/Hitler SS split is a holy grail for Killed By Death collectors. I quite like UFO Dictator by Tampax. The rest of it isn't up to much, Tampax in the Cunt is quite funny I guess.

The Adicts & Major Accident were clockwork punks yeah.

Disorder were fucking awesome. They were sub-Discharge but much noisier. Kinda started the whole noise-core subgenre that took off in Japan in the mid-80s (Confuse etc).

Dr.C mentioned V2 - yes, was thinking of nominating "I'm Bored" but wasn't sure if was an A-side.

IIRC ligotage was beki bondage <3<3<3<3 after she left vice squad and they were somewhat hanoi rocks-ish and pretty wretched.

With Lia singing? I remember liking one track, but I can't remember a single thing about them. I had all of vice squad's singles and loved them all, sadly, I can't remember how any of them go. The only similar-sounding thing I do remember from back then is "Suicide bag" by action pact, which is GREAT! Shrillest female vox ever.

Best Vice Squad single was Last Rockers w/ Latex Love which I think was their 1st?

Suicide Bag probably Action Pact!'s best song - all their stuff has been reissued, the singles on 1 CD and the 2 albums on another.

I will be rehearsing with former Vice Squad bass player tonight! He was on Last Rockers for sure, and some of the 1st album.

They're still going - but only Beki is an original member.

Meanwhile in other news, Honey Bane is now apparently a grandmother!!

Vice Squad played a gig in Walthamstow this year but it was just before I moved there so I missed it, probably would have gone otherwise since it was just down the road.

Honey Bane put out some pretty rotten singles after she signed to a major. Dunno if they're punk enough to count for this poll though.

honey bane

Demob, Infa-Riot, The Gonads.

"were the Subhumans any good? I'd tuned out by then."

The Subhumans were (/ are) *GREAT* Doc!

And fwiw I think you'd probably like them!

See also: The Mob, Epileptics / Flux Of Pink Indians, Rudimentary Peni, Zoundz; all of whom seemed to be prepared to experiment with different influences and sound a bit different musically, unlike most of the herds of shouty / thrashy identikit anarcho-punk bands that appeared in the wake of Cr@ss.

talking of the mob. could anyone send me an mp3 of 'no doves fly here'? i really need it for an anarcho punk cd comp i'm making for a friend but can't find the record anywhere.

Honey Bane's repulsive Jimmy Pursey-produced EMI releases seconded (and on the basis that the Fatal Microbes split single with Poison Girls and the Honey Bane single on Cr@ss records qualify as punk; and that she was clearly being marketed by EMI as some sort of safely-airbrushed punkette Barbie doll; I'm afraid they probably do qualify, yes)

Weren't there two bands about, both claiming to be Vice Squad, at one point?

"could anyone send me an mp3 of 'no doves fly here'? i really need it for an anarcho punk cd comp i'm making for a friend but can't find the record anywhere."

I reckon you should just put "Witch Hunt" on there instead - it's miles better!

Rudimentary peni were excellent, there was a real focus in their playing that was quite unusual for a crass label-related band. They sound better today than they did at the time somehow.

x-post Oh I liked Flux and Zoundz.

Stew - were you at the Crass gig at Reading Town Hall in 1980 or 81? I forget who supported - Conflict possibly? I thought Flux too, but I could be wrong.

The Gonads were Garry Bushell's bands and somewhat unsurprisingly were fucking awful. There's got to be some candidates for worst uk punk single there.

Infa Riot is a good one. They were really shit. See, I don't like EVERYTHING from 1976-1983, just almost everything.

Due to what I can only assume was some sort of VAST administrative error, Cr@ss actually played the Town Hall TWICE around that time, and I was there for both.

The first time was with the Poison Girls iirc and passed off reasonably uneventfully.

The second time there were supposed to be several support bands playing and I think Conflict were indeed one of them, as well as a very early and extremely primitive incarnation of Chumbawamba if I'm not very much mistaken.

Sub-@ctive were also invited to play at that one but our drummer (being a more sensible sort of fellow than the rest of us) took one look at the pitched battle that was going on outside the Town Hall before we'd even got inside and promptly bottled it; and by the time we'd found someone insane enough to be prepared to stand in for him, the gig had already been disrupted so much and the bands were running so far behind that there wasn't any time left for us, so we never actually made it as far as the stage).

The main thing I remember about that day 'though is the running battles both inside and outside the venue with hordes of skinheads who'd apparently been bussed in from miles around with the specific intention of disrupting the gig as much as they could - and, in fairness, they did an extremely creditable job of it.

Conflict also played at a couple of free festivals in Reading in later years (one on the waste ground down behind Metal Box and one at the old bus station).

(x-post)

I remember that wasteground one. I went with a mate, and met Rolfie from achIforget, the countrypunk duo, who were just leaving and were advising us not to bother. We went in, had a look around, got bored, went home.

I used to work behind the town hall and used to get a smile from where someone had graffitied CR(A)SS on the church next to it, presumably at one of those gigs.

I smiled at the one that said "Free Beef!"

(you have to know what it said before)

After one of those gigs three particularly naughty boys actually sprayed a huge "Sub-@ctive" logo (basically an "A" overlaid with an "S" so as to resemble an anarchy symbol) on one of the walls right next to the main entrance to Forbury Gardens on the corner of Valpy Street and Forbury Road - and it was still there *YEARS* afterwards.

"Oh I liked Flux and Zoundz."

See? You should definitely give The Mob, Rudimentary Peni and Zounds a try then!

x-post Ha! I remember that logo. I was at the second gig - I think it was my first or second term at Univ. Me and two mates were chased by skins and for some idiotic reason we ran into the Railway Tavern (was it called that? Anyway the pub opposite the station), which had more skins in it. We were in there for about 20 seconds during which time a knife fight broke out and someone threw a fire extinguisher through a window. We legged it back to campus unscathed, but it was pretty nasty for a while!

I also saw Poison Girls in the main bar at RUSU about the same time.

"Me and two mates were chased by skins and for some idiotic reason we ran into the Railway Tavern"

FAL! Out of the frying pan...

I wish I was at Reading Uni when you were, Doc! We had Echobelly & the Bluetones. And also, Chumbawamba!

Peter and the Test Tube Babies must've wrote some bad songs I did that "Banned from the Pub" or whatever the song was.

LIKE

Banned From The Pubs was great. They sucked after their 1st album though.

http://cgi.ebay.com/160-PUNK-CLASSICS-10-CD-NEW-Buzzcocks-Vice-Squad_W0QQitemZ330191684183QQihZ014QQcategoryZ307QQcmdZViewItem

Very much Xpost - I had the Killed By Death with 'UFO Dictator' by Tampax on it, and remember it as the best think on the album! Utterly deranged guitar sound IIRC.

Subhumans are playing here in a couple of weeks. Haven't heard them, but I'm curious.

When Nick was still in QOTSA they used to do a Subhumans Cover. It was kinda sludgey.

UFO Dictator = awesome.

I think the Cash Pussies single is the worst one mentioned so far.

xpost that was probably the Canadian Subhumans?

Stewart Home's hilarious "Cranked Up Really High" details a lot of likely candidates for this, though I must admit I haven't gone to the trouble of seeking out the dodgy vinyl concerned. Any takers for The Raped, Snivelling Shits, Cane, The Drive, Martin and The Brownshirts, The Child Molesters, The Depressions or John the Postman? I do vaguely remember Albero Y Los Trios Paranioas though, and actually have a copy of the Slaughter and the Dogs live double which really needs to go to eBay soon.

Some of those bands would be in my poll for BEST UK punk single! Snivelling Shits & Alberto Y Los(t) Trios Paranoias at least. The Raped weren't bad either.

Going back to further upthread - I don't like Chelsea or London either! And while I love the 1st Business album that Smash The Discos EP is pretty crap. Thinking about it they really weren't a singles band - Harry May is shit as well. The best songs are all album tracks I think.

The Prats' 'Inverness' wasn't actually a single, but a track on a compilation album - after a couple of years the band, three brothers actually made some really fine singles and did some great gigs.

The Valves' 'For Adolfs Only' is OK. They were basically a pre-punk pub rock band with a fondness for SAHB style dramatics from the frontman. The Anti-Nazi sentiment of the song has it's heart in the right place too.

Lots of good info on these bands on the punk77.co.uk site, and everybody seems to have a myspace nowadays. Most of the bands Home mentions aren't really in the 'worst' stakes, just lyrically naff and (mostly) musically indifferent.

Surprised to find that punk77 credits The Drive with the first Scottish Punk single 'Jerkin', and that they were from Dundee. Had never heard of them before.

"Any takers for The Raped, Snivelling Shits, Cane, The Drive, Martin and The Brownshirts, The Child Molesters, The Depressions or John the Postman?"

Raped's first release (their only one under that name afaik), the Pretty Paedophiles EP, managed to attract precisely the level of hysterical indignant censorious outrage that you might reasonably have expected in 1978 given the name of the band and the record, and consequently the music itself seemed to go largely unheard - which was a bit of a shame because there was actually a little gem hiding on the second side of the EP in the shape of "Escalator Hater". The band (well, certainly vocalist Sean Purcell and guitarist Faehean Qwest, I've no idea about the rhythm section) subsequently reinvented themselves under the unlikely name of The Cuddly Toys and managed to get a lot more music press attention by proclaiming that their first single "Madman" was actually a song that Marc Bolan had written shortly before he died without ever having got around to recording it - and it's certainly true that there was more than a hint of Bolan about vocalist Sean Purcell's voice. Sadly 'though, after all the hype, the song itself sounded not so much as if Bolan had left in unrecorded but as if it was largely unfinished.

The Snivelling Shits (aka Arthur Comics) was one Giovanni Dadomo (who wrote for Sounds and Zig Zag at the time) and as I understand it his main motivation in recording & releasing the 'Shits' only single ("I Can't Come" / "Terminal Stupid") was to demonstrate that their competitors at the NME were a bunch of cluless hacks who didn't have a clue what they were doing and were so desperate to jump on the punk bandwagon that they'd praise any old crap that proclaimed itself to be punk. It worked too - NME made it their single of the week!

The Drive would appear to have been Scotland's equivalent to the Pork Dukes - a bunch of older musicians who were apparently intent on discrediting punk by / whilst using it as an excuse to indulge in some rather juvenile poor-taste lyrics ("Jerkin'" / "Push & Shove"), but gave the game away somewhat by being unable to resist the temptation to demonstrate during the recording process that they were actually technically rather proficient musicians. Nice slide guitar, shame about the lyrics.

The Depressions were actually one of that handful of bands (cf: The Boys, The Stranglers, The Vibrators) who had somehow managed to arrive at a remarkably similar point to the Sex Pistols / Clash whilst coming from a slightly different direction, and (like The Boys, The Stranglers, The Vibrators) were subsequently unfairly dismissed by the likes of the Bromley Contingent as having been bandwagon jumpers. They relased a handful of singles and a couple of albums which were OK but never really managed to capture the energy of their live performances; and the band never really managed to recover following all the bad publicity that they attracted after a riot broke out between sets during a gig on a tour they were doing supporting The Vibrators in 1978, in which a girld was fatally stabbed.

"The Prats' 'Inverness' wasn't actually a single, but a track on a compilation album

It was one of the Earcom's wasn't it? Didn't they contribute 2-3 tracks / an entire side or something?

" - after a couple of years the band, three brothers actually made some really fine singles and did some great gigs."

Wasn't "Disco Pope" one of their later efforts? I'm afraid I thought that one was rub. too!

Earcom 2, the one not with Joy Division. THey had three tracks, "Prats 2", "Bored" and "Inverness". "Prats 2" was a bedroom recording, the other two were with proper instruments in a studio, played/sung badly a la shaggs.

There was a later single "General Davies" but I never heard it.

Oops, Earcom 1:

A1 Prats, The Prats 2
Bass - Tom Robinson (2)
Drums - Dave Maguire
Guitar - Paul McLaughlin
Vocals, Guitar - Greg Maguire
A2 Blank Students, The Fun At The Fair
Bass - Clarke (2)
Drums - Dog (6)
Guitar, Vocals - Miles (9)
A3 Graph (2) Drowning
A4 Blank Students, The Background Music
Bass - Clarke (2)
Drums - Dog (6)
Guitar, Vocals - Miles (9)
B1 Prats, The Inverness
Bass - Tom Robinson (2)
Drums - Dave Maguire
Guitar - Paul McLaughlin
Producer, Engineer - Tim Pearce
Vocals, Guitar - Greg Maguire
B2 Prats, The Bored
Bass - Tom Robinson (2)
Drums - Dave Maguire
Guitar - Paul McLaughlin
Producer, Engineer - Tim Pearce
Vocals, Guitar - Greg Maguire
B3 Flowers, The (2) Criminal Waste
Producer - Fast Product
B4 Flowers, The (2) After Dark
Producer - Fast Product
B5 Simon Bloomfield / Tim Pearce (My Baby Does) Good Sculptures
Producer - Simon Bloomfield , Tim Pearce
Written By - John Callis

xp Hang on - Earcom 2 is Thursdays, Baschax and Joy Div.

It was Earcom 1 that had the Prats.

"general davis" is great. so great that jonatahn demme used it as the opening music to his remake of the manchurian candidate.

xpost: Haha, weirdly enough I was just listening to "Disco Pope" as I reached Stewart's comment. It's on the 2003 Rough Trade Post Punk Vol 01 comp, and is originally from a 1980 EP called 1990s Pop. Endearingly shambolic, I'd say...

I knew about the Snivelling Shits' backstory but I still think that single's hilarious!

On the subject of Earcom's, both of these numbers from Earcom 3 deserve some sort of nomination for "worst ever":
Stupid Babies - "Babysitters"
From Chorley - "Tablecloth"

The member of the Prats who wasn't a maguire was the younger brother of one of The Scars, so thats why I saw them live quite a few times, they often supported. I like the rough trade singles, the ones mentioned above and another one with a title in German.

The Thursdays on Earcom 2 later became (some of) Boots for Dancing.

I didn't know that The Drive were older musicians, the single turned up fairly early in 77 and caused a wee bit of a fuss (in the Sunday Post) over its subject matter. (chorus: "I can't stop jerkin over you"). But it was really awful and clueless and not very punk. They didn't gig or get written about much and I never found out who was in the band.

I wouldn't have thought it was the first Scottish punk single though, I would have guessed The Rezillos, The Jolt and The Exile (weird, acoustic-y punk, similar to 2.3 but not as good, had an ep called Fascist DJ) were all earlier, maybe PVC2 or Johnny and the self abusers too. Though I suppose punk77 folks know their stuff.

The Prats have a compilation CD out.

My favourite song on Earcom 2 is the Thursdays one. The one that's not the Otis Redding cover I mean (can't remember the title).

I'd heard the Rezillos did the first Scottish punk single but whatever. That sort of thing annoys me anyway - like how New Rose is supposedly the 1st punk single - never mind Blitzkrieg Bop or I'm Stranded and probably others. If it's not from the UK it for some reason doesn't count.

If 'Can't Stand My Baby' isn't technically the first Scottish punk single, it should be! I never saw the Prats, but I've met the Maguires. They seem like ILM people, and I wouldn't be one bit surprised if they were lurking.

My partner suggested the Fruit Eating Bears for this list. They actually got their song 'Shut the Door in My Face' introduced by Terry Wogan on 'A Song for Europe'. That clip doesn't seem to be on youtube, but they have a myspace. Eddie and the Hot Rods type stuff, and actually not too bad for what it is.

On the subject of Earcom's, both of these numbers from Earcom 3 deserve some sort of nomination for "worst ever":
Stupid Babies - "Babysitters"
From Chorley - "Tablecloth"

-- Stewart Osborne, Thursday, 29 November 2007 13:32 (7 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Nooooo!!!I love those guys! Along with Noh Mercy and The Middle Class.

Of course, you know Adam out of Stupid Babies grew up into Adamski of "Killer" and Seal fame.

Crass had good politics but did record some awful music.

Rudimentary Peni are still the best punk band ever (to my ears).

Worst punk band ever would have to be MxPx.

"I didn't know that The Drive were older musicians"

Uh, oh, well it's possible I may have got that bit wrong - I may just be conflating "technically competent" with "older"....

For all I know they may have been a group of child prodigies with a guitarist whose ability and propensity for playing slide guitar belied his youth.

They definitely soundedolder 'though.

To my ears anyway.

Moving swiftly on....

".... like how New Rose is supposedly the 1st punk single - never mind Blitzkrieg Bop or I'm Stranded and probably others."

Over the years my praise for "New Rose" has only stopped just short of claiming that it can cure cancer, feed the starving millions, prevent the spread of AIDS, and bring the dead back to life; but even IIII would not countenance any attempt to describe it as having been anything other than the first British / UK punk single, and anyone who attempts to suggest otherwise is clearly a nob.

Are you sure these people weren't saying that "New Rose" was the best punk single...?

"Nooooo!!!I love those guys! Along with Noh Mercy and The Middle Class."

Noh Mercy and particularly The Middle Class were absolutely fantastic; the Stupid Babies and From Chorley.... weren't.

"Of course, you know Adam out of Stupid Babies grew up into Adamski of "Killer" and Seal fame."

Of course I do - what sort of 2nd rate punk trainspotter do you to take me for?!?

We actually interiewed Adam (then aged 8) and his brother Dominic (5), by sending them a list of questions and a cassette for them to record their answers on.

Unfortunately we didn't think to keep a list of our questions, and they didn't read the questions out before they answered them, which made transcribing it rather interesting.

The best bit however was definitely:

Q: Now that you're famous pop stars, do you have problems with girls continually throwing themselves at your feet?
Dominic: Yes, they throw themselves at my feet and then they crawl all up my legs.

I knew you knew that, I was talking to the boys and girls.

Boys and girls, did you know that From Chorley were the remnants of the Blank students from Earcom 1? I guess they had friends in FAST places.

I knew that too ;)

Re New Rose - on those punk TV documentaries that seem to be churned out every week it's become received wisdom that it was the first ever punk single. (I voted for it on the Stiff poll anyway :) )

xpost - how come the Blank Students were quite good and From Chorley um weren't? I didn't know that one :)

Blank Students + 1 oz of weed = From Chorley.

Here's one I knitted earlier

This is the "From Chorley" demotape...

The only problem with "New Rose" was the huge expectation which it created for "Neat Neat Neat".

"Blank Students + 1 oz of weed = From Chorley."

I suspect that exposure to PiL and / or Joy Division plus the acquisition of a cheap echo-box may hav eplayed a part too.

(The only problem with "New Rose" was the huge expectation which it created for just about everything else that's happened since)

Which wasn't a problem as neat neat neat is great too.

But then that set up problem child for the fall.

Damn, those mixes was muddy.

O.M.G. Tampax's "UFO Dictator" is astonishing!! It feels as if it should be a one minute punk blast - so fast and furious. Besides, they can stick around too long because the guitar (and maybe even the guitarist) has to puke. Siiiiiick guitar. And I mean sick. Get it some Tums. But its length makes it feel more epic instead. Or rather, there's an intense blast/epic tension. And did I mention the guitar? Sick.

And while decidedly dumb, that "Punk's Not Dead" (or whatever) song by Hitler SS (or whatever) kicks off with the best countoff in punk history.

Thank you, thread! Look forward to more exploring.

OK, Stop the presses, I just heard "England Belongs to Me" by Cock Sparrer.

I've been working through the "cash from Chaos" 4CD set, and the first three CDs have their ups and downs. However, the last is painfully full of "let's all sing for ourselves" lunk-headed Oi/Skinpunk. Somewhere in the middle, oddly, is "Typical Girls" by the slits, which is a nice warm bed after crawling through fields of broken glass.

But after that one by Cock Sparrer, you'd be as embarrassed to be in the crowd as you would be at a tory conference just as the leader finished his speech, or a NF meeting, or etc...

How many bands were "not actually right wing, just wanted to play for those people"?

England Belongs To Me is about working class pride, not xenophobia/racism ("Years of being told you ain't as good as us" i.e. us = ruling class), but it's still a shit song, I agree.

I dunno about wanting to play to right wingers necessarily as much as well if you're gonna play to a skinhead audience you can't really get away from them. Lots of anecdotes about the Cockney Rejects leaping off the stage to beat up NF skins etc.

Oh, it looks like I'm generalising, I'm not.

A fair few bands wanted rid of the NF element, a fair few didn't much care either way.

There was a fair few bands who if they weren't as right wing as the RAC bands weren't far off it and didn't mind sharing a bill with them - e.g. ABH, Condemned 84, Section 5, Close Shave, Combat 84 etc.

Some of those have since repented of their sins though - at least ABH & Section 5 have attempted to distance themselves. ABH said they were finding it impossible to get a record deal by 1984 so when White Noise came along they weren't being picky, but regret it now.

As Atilla the Stockbroker once said, "you don't Leave the master race"

Another dodgy one is "One Law For Them" by the 4 Skins, which again is mainly about working class hardships, but one verse mentions the Southall riot and therefore "us vs them" becomes more than a little suspect.

Actually scratch that I've just looked up the lyrics and they're worse than I remembered - even mentions "rivers of blood"!

There was a lot (well, some) of that. Sham 69's "Rip off" I always thought was about exploitation of cheap labour off "the kidz", "A rip-off for you, a Rolls for them". Unfortunately, a recent google showed me it was about Asian retail establishments charging slightly more for matches and cigs than Asda.

Anyway, back to the worst: How about "Steel Leg" by "vs The Electric Dread" i.e. Levene, Wobble, Letts and a mate of John Wardle. I like it, everyone else hates it.

It's a sort of punk christmas record, sort of.

This thread is excellent. How to find all these obscure steaming piles of poo though?

Ask Geir Hongro

(not really)