The Worst Song on Madonna's 'The Immaculate Collection'

Not a knock on the record at all as I think it's pretty uniformly great, and in most parts, unimpeachable. Hence the worst song poll, as I think it's more interesting to see what we ILMers choose to reject from this one. So have at it, y'all.

La Isla Bonita

^^^^^^^^

I really hate the "Like A Prayer" remix though; and it took years for me to warm to "Rescue Me."

I can't stand "Papa Don't Preach", so that gets it. "La Isla Bonita" runner-up.

"Borderline" - it's the most ordinary sounding of her early singles. Similarly, "Live To Tell".

Now see, I heard this compilation before I heard any of the original '80s albums, so the remixes don't bother me so much.

I love "La Isla Bonita" and have never gotten the ILM hate for it.

I vote for "Vogue", with "Express Yourself" a close second. I passionately hate both songs and both videos.

La Isla Bonita.

"Rescue Me," 'cause it's the only one that I don't love even a little bit.

"Borderline" - it's the most ordinary sounding of her early singles

Yeah – certainly my least favorite Madonna single.

I don't like "La Isla Bonita" and I've never been nuts about "Material Girl". So I'm torn.

Cherish, followed by La Isla Bonita.

"Papa Don't Preach" tempts, but "Isla" charted while I was at the worst job I ever had, so...

ha

haha, great poll. anyone who chooses 'live to tell' is copping a beating, because it's easily the best.

i went with 'borderline'.

Borderline does have those dentist's office vibes, but it gets good by the time she gets to keep-pushin-mes and the c'mon-babies.

"Cherish" is one of the worst songs ever recorded.

"Borderline" was the first Madonna song I heard on the radio; I wondered if it was a new Donna Summer single at the time. Don't ask me what I was on, 'cause to this day I couldn't tell you.

RONG DERE

indeed

The first four songs on the list are great, the last three are great, the ones in between are meh. But Cherish is the worst.

anyone who chooses 'live to tell' is copping a beating, because it's easily the best.

OTMFM!!

No one's voted for "Crazy For You"?????

These are all great except Rescue Me which is merely good.

the backing vocals on Crazy For You save it

"rescue me" bleh.

Fuck's sake, Borderline is great.

Open Your Heart & Express Yourself are the only truly shit things on the list.

fuck that! "Open Your Heart" is my favorite fast one.

http://philippengel.blogia.com/upload/Bunker5.jpg

Vogue.

Borderline is genius - possibly my fave Madge single.

"Crazy For You" is one of the best vocal performances she's ever done.

I am basically assuming that everyone repping for "Cherish" is wearing Hello Kitty underwear.

I knew it'd be a twee thing.

Cherish is great. I like Dear Jessie too. My underwear depicts Dan being impaled by a unicorn.

would've voted True Blue or The Look Of Love if they'd been on this - her two weakest 80s singles.

this is still the best greatest hits ever along with Discography and The Hits 1.

I love this album. You love this album. But you think La Isla Bonita is the worst and I think it's the best? Howzzat?

Anyway, Rescue Me is no good but Like a Prayer is poo.

Like a Prayer is the UNASSAILABLE PEAK of this album/madge's career/pop music.

Couldn't lose La Isla Bonita otherwise I'd never be able to sing "last night I dreamt of lumbago" and "young girls with eyes like potatoes" again.

Rescue me = worst

Cherist came really close

The rest of tops.

Borderline is Madonna's best song.

lol, Cherish

pure gold til "Rescue Me"

cherish!

"romeo and juliet/they never felt this way i bet" is worth something, but it's a bit cynical, oh hi here's a throwback teenage innocence vibe from... madonna? riiiight

how can anyone hate the express yourself video???

i hate la isla bonita the worst, but cherish and borderline and rescue me are all excellent choices as well.

I've always hated "Crazy for You" being that it's bullshit, saccharine schmaltz

I wrote this recently on The Immaculate Collection and "Crazy For You" in particular.

i'm voting 'la isla bonita' because my stupid chorus teacher in 7th grade made us sing that shit.

Lovely piece (comme d'hab), Soto. But we wanna know: HAVE you ever heard of such a thing as a gay man? :)

Yeah, good stuff, Alfred. No offence meant, but you always seem to do your best work when dealing explicitly with what can only be categorized as '80s artists/music (i.e., Madge, mid-decade Bruce, NO, etc).

So far, omar has the only valid reason for voting for "La Isla Bonita".

http://www.nndb.com/people/993/000022927/dabney-coleman.jpg

I don't loathe anything on this album. But I still so don't get "La Isla Bonita." Too wussy.

And right, this collection is about as immaculate as the litter boxes right now, i.e. not very. She's just not an album artist, even a greatest hits one. Sgt. Pepper is an immaculate collection. To this day Madonna's realm remains the pop single, THE medium for unfulfilling slow dances and haunted memories of proms past, as Soto reminds us. If Carrie had some of those singles, she might have skipped the prom altogether.

Great poll btw, Stephen!

Kevin, in what universe does it make sense to compare the cohesiveness of a compilation to the cohesiveness of a concept album? Also, regarding these lines:

To this day Madonna's realm remains the pop single, THE medium for unfulfilling slow dances and haunted memories of proms past, as Soto reminds us. If Carrie had some of those singles, she might have skipped the prom altogether.

Is this supposed to mean something or are you just being florid for fun?

This isn't the appropriate thread for this remark, but Maddie HAS made a couple of great albums (Erotica for one).

what is "rescue me"? seriously guys...

Steve Shasta otm.

"Rescue Me" is a song that isn't nearly as bad as people are claiming on this thread.

just youtubed this song, i've never ever heard this before and it's pretty meh. so it gets my vote.

One of my 40ish lady co-workers (Newark, NJ) in '87 called Isla "Madonna's Portarican song."

I'm just assuming "Rescue Me" is bad because I don't remember what it is. I assume I must have heard it, since I own this album.

i love La Isla Bonita, you guys are all pallid, tundra types who frown on tropical truths.

i'm not sure why people are suggesting 'borderline'

"Rescue Me" is the last time she dared to sing like a gay man.

Was it recorded live at the Duplex?

like Rob Halford?

Immaculate is the only Madonna LP I have ever owned or ever shall. I don't remember "Rescue Me" or "Open Your Heart."

"Express Yourself," eugh. "La Isla Bonita" is awesome you people are CRAZY.

cherish is my least favorite on there. i don't know if that makes it the worst. the only other song i'm not that crazy about is like a virgin. i never liked it much. love all the rest 4ever.

"Express Yourself," eugh. "La Isla Bonita" is awesome you people are CRAZY."

so is express yourself!

That remix of "Express Yourself" is not so great; it took me almost a decade to get to the point where I didn't mind it as opposed to actively hating it.

Why I don't like "Isla Bonita": goes on forever, 3-note tune, chorus just the verse moved up a key.
Why I don't like "Material Girl": farts along forever, Madge sings like constipated Betty Boop, backing vocals aiming for camp but only reaching suck.

I'm voting "Material Girl" tho cos "Isla B" is adequately disliked already.

Easily "Justify My Love". Downright horrible and the worst thing either Madonna or Lenny Kravitz has ever been involved with.

^^ mind-boggling, ain't he

Not after 11 years of exposure.

i'm not sure why people are suggesting 'borderline'

F'real tho. I guess it's not as awesome as the two that precede it, but I still love it to death.

La Isla Bonita is boring as hell, as has been noted many times, and therefore wins.

"La Isla Bonita" is an excellent pop song and one of the best on "The Immaculate Collection". Lately Madonna has made some good dance oriented electro albums, but from the mid 80s until the mid 90s she was always at her best when she was at her least dance oriented.

lol

Geir's totally been phoning it in this week.

decade

i blame this thread for making me listen to madonna all afternoon. naughty thread

daddy daddy if you could only see just how good he's been treating me
you'd give us our blessing right now

I agree with Geir. "Justify My Love" is shit.

^^^ fake Snrub

material girl is my least fave by far. LIB isn't too crash hot either. borderline is awesome

cherish is also great, some of you are v weird

Geir OTM. "Justify My Love" should win that.

wtf!! Justify My Love is fantastic!

I can understand loving Madonna and hating "Isla" or "Justify My Love," though I don't; I can't understand loving Madonna and hating "Borderline." It's like loving the Beatles but hating "She Loves You."

Kevin, in what universe does it make sense to compare the cohesiveness of a compilation to the cohesiveness of a concept album?

In the one I assume we both share (although I may be wrong on that point) where many people DO compare this comp to the cohesiveness of a concept album, where they claim that it's seamless, definitive, a whole unto itself, etc. Besides, the cohesiveness of a comp can very much be compared to the cohesiveness of a concept. Sugar & Poison slashes Sgt. Pepper when it comes to cohesiveness. At the end of the day, a greatest hits album SHOULD have the cohesiveness of a concept album. After all, it IS a particular conception of a career.

What's so annoying about these claims for The Immaculate Collection is that they often stem from a general nervousness around having to take Madonna seriously which in turn instigates the application of moribund/inappropriate value judgements to assess her oeuvre.

To this day Madonna's realm remains the pop single, THE medium for unfulfilling slow dances and haunted memories of proms past, as Soto reminds us. If Carrie had some of those singles, she might have skipped the prom altogether.

Is this supposed to mean something or are you just being florid for fun?

It was an almost direct reference to Soto's piece which he linked to here:

I wrote this recently on The Immaculate Collection and "Crazy For You" in particular.

-- Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, 6 December 2007 18:13 (Yesterday) Link

I praised his piece in my very first post to the thread. But I also used the phrase "as Soto reminds us" to reference the fact that I was, um, talking about something that Soto said. Ugh.

And yo - it's gay guys talking about Madonna. Floridity comes with the territory.

anyone who chooses 'live to tell' is copping a beating, because it's easily the best.

dunno about the best but it's solid. I remember singing it karaoke once (SHUT UP ALL!)

"The Immaculate Collection" may have been one of the best compilations ever. However, it suffers from two major flaws:
1. the two mixes
and
2. the two new songs, one horrible and the other one pretty mediocre as well.

1. the NEW mixes, I mean

lol @ omar having to sing "la isla bonita", + the person that inevitably vote for "live to tell" deserves death

I always liked "Rescue Me". I remember my older sister having this album at the same time that my 8/9 year old self was obsessed with KLF/C&C Music Factory/Technotronic. The explictly gay housiness of "Rescue Me" really chimed in with that - the throaty vocals, the "ooh, ah, ooh ah, love is understanding" bit...

The only real problem with "Borderline" (in its original form) is that it goes on for way too long, which wouldn't be a problem for Summer but the high chirpiness of Madonna's vocals on this start to grate by about the five minute mark. I assume that Immaculate Collection version is a shorter edit though...?

Hard to choose a least favourite. I guess that "Borderline"/"Crazy For You"/"La Isla Bonita"/"Rescue Me" do form a sort of second tier but they all seem like great songs to me.

i cannot decide whether PDP or Cherish is more annoying.
this old bitch is so ready for a casino show.

cherish the thought, of never having crabs on my thighs....

which settles it, because venting that just made me realize that Cherish is totally some gutless horseshit.

it was william orbit who sawed madonna's balls off for good though, wasn't it?

yes orbit is a nob-end

I voted Lucky Star for its boring melody

justify my love. Have we all agreed to not mention that this compilation SOUNDS like utter shit and that every mix/edit they include is the worst mix/edit available?

Voted Like a Prayer as the remix version is the musical equivalent of drawing a moustache and a pair of boobies on the Mona Lisa.

Some may think that's a good thing of course.

Yeah, Borderline voters be insane...That's in my top 3.

I only found out recently that the version of "Like A Prayer" on the album is a remix. That means I've never heard the original! la la la blaspheme etc

I can't believe it took so long for people to start hating on "Justify My Love" in this thread.

Have we all agreed to not mention that this compilation SOUNDS like utter shit and that every mix/edit they include is the worst mix/edit available?

like i said upthread, i heard the Immaculate Collection and its mixes before hearing any of the original albums, so i don't really have an overall preference. some tracks i prefer here, others in their album mixes. but without the familiarity of the originals vs. the unfamiliarity of these mixes, as a lot of fans in 1990 must have been faced with, i haven't experienced that. and i think these mixes are just fine, and fit together well enough here.

Hilarious, descriptive review of "Justify My Love" from the Amazon user reviews:

Justify My Love opens with the swirly beat of a drum that sounds deeply sensual and very erotic. The beat is incredibly hard and racy, giving the song a very sexual feel. Madonna moans and groans a few times, before starting the first verse with, "I wanna kiss you in Paris. I wanna hold your hand in Rome. I wanna run naked in a rainstorm. Make love in a train, cross-country. You put this in me. So now what, so now what?" The first chorus then begins with the lyrics of, "Wanting... needing... waiting... for you to justify my love. Hoping...praying...for you to justify my love." After this, there is a slight instrumental in which the beat seems to slow down and sizzle from the heat, and Madonna says "OK..." before the second verse begins. I can't type the lyrics, because some are probably too explicit to be published. The song was co-written by Lenny Kravitz, and he adds backing vocals when Madonna's singing. There's another section to the song after the second chorus where the song really gets going, and Madonna sings, "What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? Talk to me - tell me your dreams. Am I in them? Tell me your fears. Are you scared? Tell me your stories. I'm not afraid of who you are. We can fly! Poor is the man, whose pleasures depend, on the permission of another." Madonna then seems to get all more sweaty and worked up before repeating the classic chorus a few more times as the song dies down.

xp
the 'different versions' part of the equation is something I'd be able to overlook, actually; it's the 'mastering' of the tracks for the comp that bugs me (i'm not tech saavy, someone can correct me), the sound quality is so dim and hollow even compared to the radio. I tried it on a few different cd players and it's plain unlistenable, and i'm not an 'audiophile' by any stretch.

Have we all agreed to not mention that this compilation SOUNDS like utter shit

I seem to remember the CD being mixed using some "Q Sound" technique or something. What was that?

Speaking of Vegas, "Justify My Love" was put to good, if fairly literal, use in Fashionistas, the great John Stagliano-directed stage show at (I believe) Krave on the Strip, a production that owes a lot to Madonna's tour aesthetic as well. Put down casinos all you want (I didn't gamble a dime), but that show was an amazing work of erotic art, and I don't know if it would have or could have existed, or at least existed in that form and at that level of visibility, without Madonna. It's like Cirque du Solei meets Madonna meets R-rated Vegas.

Oh, and the remix of "Holiday" on TIC ain't bad.

R-, not X-rated because no nudity I mean...

QSound was used in a bunch of videogames. It has something to do with being 3-dimensional. I don't know anything about it.

Probably similar to the <- 360 Degree STEREO -> Dylan LPs boast

i take back what i said about cherish before! that song was running thru my head all day today and i do like it okay. i always liked that romeo & juliet line. and the bad horns. so i guess i would vote for like a virgin.

this thread reminds me of the new order thread. all i have/had are the original singles and albums, so i don't know about the various mixes on the immaculate collection. madonna remixes always seemed to be either okay, bad, or horrible. i like most of shep's stuff. other people, not so much.

yeah, otm on the romeo and juliet line. it's nice!

Qsound is sort of a fake surround thing that sounds 3-dimensional on ordinary stereo sets. Those "Immaculate Collection" mixes weren't too bad in that respect, they did give a feeling of 3D, actually to a larger extent than Sting's "Soul Cages" album, which did also use QSound.

I think there is better fake surround technology that exists these days though. For instance some of The Orb's music gives a very obvious feeling of surround sound even though it isn't.

"Express Yourself," eugh. "La Isla Bonita" is awesome you people are CRAZY.

-- The Brainwasher, Thursday, December 6, 2007 8:26 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Link

My opinion, exactly. "Express Yourself" is just annoying and tuneless... and the chorus is the most boring thing ever done.

"La Isla Bonita" is awesome in every way. Doesn't anyone remember how does it feel to hear that beat in a club. I bet people who don't like it are the same ones who dislike Domino Dancing... and they are wrong!

dan perry hates domino dancing (because he is insane). but i don't think he hates la isla bonita.

I've been hoping SOMEONE would restart the Dan Perry-"Domino Dancing" wars.

hahaha, dan and I sharing a brain moment on hating the fuck out of both "cherish" and "domino dancing".

LIKE A VIRGIN??!!! are you kidding?! that's one of my fav madonna songs. so thick and 80s and bubble gummy. yum.

worst song on this is Rescue Me even though it's good.

can't believe peeps are saying La Isla Bonita.

La Isla Bonita rules....

"so thick and 80s and bubble gummy."

it's gummy alright! as in lugubrious. and thick as in tough to chew.

nile was the last person i would have had running my big follow-up. (not that it mattered and not like it didn't sell a zillion copies, but production-wise and music-wise, the album and song were disapointments to me at the time.)

I think I hate La Isla Bonita in large part because the syntax of "tropical the island breeze" annoys the shit out of me.

like a virgin is a great fucking song, though; that's crazy talk.

does anybody seriously look to Madonna (or pop music in general) for lyrical inspiration?

well, yes, but I didn't say it was "uninspiring." it's annoying.

I just replace bad lyrics in my head with the words "chunky butt" and it instantly makes them more entertaining

I mean, yes, I do like Madonna lyrics and many other pop lyrics.

does anybody seriously look to Madonna (or pop music in general) for lyrical inspiration?

I'm not sure in which arid world you reside, but "Into The Groove" has been an inspiration for 20 years.

sorry, the inspiration's purely sonic to my ears

Holiday - Doesn't need the vocal in the slightest, but it makes the song anyway. Not the best on the record, but if you think this is the worst, you are probably at least slightly mentally-challenged. Holidays are very nice, btw.
Lucky Star - Are you going to "shine your heavenly body" on me tonight, Beavis? If you think this is the worst song, you should perhaps look into acquiring an MAOI inhibitor or two. We are very lucky to have this song, btw.
Borderline - The damn leitmotif conjures up all sorts of '80s miserabilisms, not least among them that fugly video. She does kinda sell the song a bit, I guess. Almost the worst.
Like a Virgin - Haha very funny motherfucker. What passes for cute in Madonnaland, but too good-natured to begrudge - a reason to be cheerful.
Material Girl - I used to dislike this song. I sincerely apologize for being such a gigantic moron.
Crazy for You - Oh ewwww. Ok, fine, it's good cheese. "Trying hard to control my fart"
Into the Groove - Yeah it's a classic, blah blah blah, but the horrible remix intro ruins the whole plodding thing, and is it really that great a song if a bad intro can do that?
Live to Tell - OK, this is really too much now. Eddie should have covered it on the "Into the Wild" soundtrack, lol.
Papa Don't Preach - Hey, look, there's a real person in the persona! Listen to the vocal! Look at Danny Aiello's undershirt!
Open Your Heart - YOU THINK THIS IS THE WORST SONG ON THE RECORD?! YOU ARE CRIMINALLY INSANE! One of the better remixes.
La Isla Bonita - This song is so gay, by which I mean great.
Like a Prayer - So, a gospel choir and Pepsi-Cola, huh? I see what you did there. I'd take What'd I Say, but I'm not gonna pretend like it's a bad song. Maybe too goyish for me.
Express Yourself - If you think this is the worst song on the record, you are probably a crackhead. She walks even harder on this one than in the 80s version. Maybe the best remix on the record.
Cherish - If you think this is the worst song on the record, you are a hater of fun. The Romeo and Juliet line is classic. What passes for v v pretty, btw, in Madonnaland.
Vogue - If you think this is the worst song on the record, you might be ... well, you know. High Art. Dance on Air.
Justify My Love - Sex, by which she means Love. Which is kinda scary, btw. Deeper and Deeper.
Rescue Me - Streisand meets Deee-Lite - What a country! Thank you for your poem, Madonna.

Worst song? I think it's Evita the prequel - Live to Tell.

"rescue me" by default. i like or love everything else, that one's just mediocre.

What passes for v v pretty, btw, in Madonnaland.

yeah exactly, fuck that noise

"rescue me" by default. i like or love everything else, that one's just mediocre.

it's the slightest thing there, but I'm not sure that makes it the worst

Papa Don't Preach, but only because "I'm in trouble deep" is jarring.

i can't hear the evita in 'live to tell'

probably referring to the Madonna version of Evita, which bastardized the musical completely.

"Worst song? I think it's Evita the prequel - Live to Tell."

oh sure, i'm the crazy one because cherish isn't my favorite song. not liking live to tell is a sure sign of dementia in my book.

lol bastardized andrew lloyd webber lol

oh sure, i'm the crazy one because cherish isn't my favorite song. not liking live to tell is a sure sign of dementia in my book.

no, it's a sign of being a heavy metal fan

ok, maybe it isn't the worst

i don't think i've ever heard the non-immaculate mixes of these!1!1!~!!

this is the only 80s madonna i know.

i think the answer is 'cherish'.

i'm actually sorry i didn't vote for 'justify my love' now. boring, repetitive, and the video blows as well.

emm why is "bastardizing Andrew Lloyd Webber" funny, exactly? Evita was one of his better works, before he completely jumped the shark in the 80s.

Webber/Rice in the 70s were a pretty solid team actually

I like plenty of those Webber/Rice songs but they were kind of bastardized classical choons to begin with?

i love evita. i saw it with patti lupone and mandy patinkin on broadway.

i'm too scared to see the madonna movie.

still. to this day. but i saw swept away! so, i've done my time.

being influenced by something is bastardizing it? And not really, anyway, I mean sure the opening number of Evita is very classical in nature but a lot of Evita was pop music with odd time signatures.

For the record, though, I was mostly stating that the interpretation of the concept rather than the music itself. The movie was less harsh on Eva than the musical was (altho Rice loved Eva, Webber hated her, so I guess you draw whatever you wish out of this particular musical).

well they absolutely killed Che's opening number (cut half of it out) and pared his part down a lot...and gave Eva "Another Suitcase in Another Song" to sing, ironic due tothe fact that that song's existence was purely for Eva to change costumes on the stage version.

Ah, you see I don't equate fucking something up with bastardizing it. And we'll have to disagree on how much of a plagiarist Lloyd Webber is. Like I said, that doesn't bother me when it comes to actually enjoying the songs.

The difference between "La Isla Bonita" and "Domino Dancing" is that "La Isla Bonita" benefits from the latino rhythm, while "Domino Dancing" is great in spite of its latino beat. :)

http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/2732824/2/istockphoto_2732824_young_hard_hat_phoning_it_in.jpg

wait i hope no one's trying to say live to tell is the worse song on this? that song is magnificent to say the least.

honestly, the texture and melody, and tension in live to tell, along with the emotive vocal performance, is dazzling.

i think most madonna fanz would list live to tell as one of the great madonna moments in history.

yea I mean I'm not a huge madonna fan (not cuz I don't like her music, cuz honestly I usually listen to 80's pop via like individual track purchases on napster and burn them to custom cds)..but "Live to Tell" has that really nice chorus and that interlude going for it at the beginning.

Never, ever liked "Holiday". Always reminded me of, for some reason, ABC's "The Look Of Love" (which I DO like.)

yea the chorus... not to mention that bridge, where the music slows, swells and then she goes "if i ran away, i'd never have the chance to go very far... how would they hear the beating of my heart?"

makes a mockery of me every time.

I still say Lucky Star. like that chorus is just corny to me.

i think most madonna fanz would list live to tell as one of the great madonna moments in history.

-- scott seward, Saturday, December 8, 2007 4:19 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

ya.

Lucky Star i used to feel eh about but my girlfriends got me thinking it's just cute and fun. it's like a less good Like a Virgin to me.

wow. i mean, i'm really hungover, but this is the most confusing thing i've seen in a long time:

http://aishamusic.wordpress.com/category/bad-judge/

maybe someone could explain it all to me.

I think it's a mental illness thing.

her website is pretty fascinating too:

http://www.aishamusic.com/

Aisha Kamilah Goodison OTM

Holiday: Great typical 80s single. One of her best ever moments.

Lucky Star: Kind of the same as "Holiday". Worked great even without the aid of Jellybean

Borderline: Less dance oriented, and with less dominant synths, but still a very nice typical 80s pop song.

Like a Virgin: Didn't like it at the time, but it has grown considerably. Jellybean's 12 inch mix sounds better than the original and I am very happy for it being included as a bonus track on the remastered CD:

Material Girl: One of her greatest singles ever. Kind of Cyndi Lauper-like, but also something of its own. The sound of Madonna proving she is more than just a dance singer.

Crazy for You: A nice ballad that might have sounded even better with less of a typical 80s synth backing.

Into the Groove: Another 80s dance song although this one has lost it more than the others. Stephen Bray didn't do the genre as nicely as Jellybean and Reggie Lucas did.

Live to Tell: A beautiful ballad that grows on you

Papa Don't Preach: Lyrics sort of better than the song, but still OK.
Open Your Heart: One of her weaker 80s singles IMO but still nice enough.
La Isla Bonita: A beautiful latino ballad that to me is one of the best things she has ever done.
Like a Prayer: A great statement unlike anything she'd previously done. Not the best track on the album with the same title, but a very deserved hit.
Express Yourself: The best singles from "Like a Prayer" were never included on this album. This is far from among the best, but sounds better in this mix than in the album mix. Maybe because it doesn't have much of a tune, and Pat Leonard was never good at producing "dance" music.
Cherish: OK song, boring arrangement. Not her best.
Vogue: The opposite in this case. The arrangement is really great while the song itself isn't much to boast about.
Justify My Love: I have said a lot of it upthread. Horrible. Her worst moment ever. And Lenny Kravitz' worst moment ever as well.
Rescue Me: Slightly better, but still rather pointless. Sounds way too much like what would follow, in the form of "Erotica", her worst ever album and her second worst ever single.

Geirs of War

Holiday: typical 80s single.

Lucky Star: Kind of the same as "Holiday".

Borderline: typical 80s pop song.

Like a Virgin: Didn't like it

Material Girl: Kind of Cyndi Lauper-like

Crazy for You: typical 80s synth backing.

Into the Groove: this one has lost it more than the others.

Live to Tell: ballad

Papa Don't Preach: Lyrics sort of better than the song

Open Your Heart: One of her weaker 80s singles

La Isla Bonita: latino ballad

Like a Prayer: Not the best track on the album

Express Yourself: This is far from among the best, Maybe because it doesn't have much of a tune

Cherish: boring arrangement. Not her best.

Vogue: the song itself isn't much to boast about.

Justify My Love: Horrible. Her worst moment ever.

Rescue Me: rather pointless.

Express Yourself doesn't have a tune?

Vogue isn't much to boast about?

WHAT PLANET

"typical 80's" - since it was made in the eighties, can it sound like any other time?

I'm not sure which typical 80s it sounds like. Def Leppard, Marshall Jefferson or Wang Chung?

Into the Groove: this one has lost it more than the others

I'm not sure which typical 80s it sounds like. Def Leppard, Marshall Jefferson or Wang Chung?

Probably Wang Chung, except nobody ever bothered with them this side of the Atlantic.

Those first singles sure didn't sound typical at the time.

And the B&W "Borderline" video with the b-boys and pool hall? I think you have "fugly" confused with "beautiful."

I pity anyone who has had to share a bed with Geir.

I voted for "Live To Tell" because it had the most enthusiastic review from Geir.

Er, I mean "La Isle Bonita."

^ well done.

"Crazy For You".

^ "Crazy"

Geirotic, geirotic

oh sure, i'm the crazy one because cherish isn't my favorite song. not liking live to tell is a sure sign of dementia in my book

seward otm

I pity anyone who has had to share a bed with

Not cool

yeah, leave it out.

I voted for "La Isla Bonita" because it has spawned the biggest number of bad imitations (and is a pretty rubbish song to begin with) including, er, "Who's That Girl?"

"La Isla Bonita" is pretty rank but at least it supplied much laughter (to me at least) with its splendid (misheard) opening line:

"Last night I dreamt of some dago..."

"young girl with eyes like potato.."

So, did Geri improve on the template w/ "Mi Chico Latino"?

I always assumed the reason why "Who's That Girl?" doesn't appear on the Immaculate Collection is that it's too close to "La Isla Bonita" for comfort but doubtless there's some obscure motion picture copyright issue at work.

LOl "not liking live to tell is a sure sign of dimentia" hilarious!

btw, i always thought la isla bonita was like a BIG FAVORITE of peeps'?

HOW WILL THEY HEAR
WHEN WILL THEY LEARN
HOW WILL THEY KNOW

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2006/11/14/300_eddie_vedder,0.jpg

it's that quality of madonna's voice, that comes through in Live To Tell and some of her other ballads, that really moves me -- that real quality, in her deep voice. it just speaks to me for some reason. i relate to it. i really do feel like it's my mom singing about her problems or something, it's tough to describe.

lol at real

=P whatevs, madonna can be real

it's the most mannered thing ever. fake is what makes her good.

sure she's fake, but she definitely has moments when she sounds really genuine to me.

also any performance is mannered

anyway, if i want 'real' i'd rather listen to a good song like don't tell me. oh yeah, she had to borrow that one.

She's the genuine fake.

The chord change heralding the "If I ran away..." section of "Live To Tell" is genius.

mmm yes

"She's good when she's fake" is missing the point that "Live to Tell" is a genuinely good song.

I love "Justify My Love" becauseee it's so pretentious. And why would someone hate the video? The video is kind of the best part.

Does anyone remember who did rap version of "Holiday". I actually heard that one first. I like both BTW.

MC Miker G and DJ Sven, recently heard on that 'Little Superstar' video clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LtYaCm5njY

I always assumed the reason why "Who's That Girl?" doesn't appear on the Immaculate Collection is that it's too close to "La Isla Bonita" for comfort

The reason why "Who's The Girl" and "True Blue" aren't on "Immaculate Collection" is she wanted to include two new tracks and not just all of her greatest hits. Those two were UK chart toppers, but didn't perform quite as well in the US.

I voted "Cherish," though I maybe would have voted "Rescue Me" instead if I went back and listened to them both.

er, "Who's That Girl?" hit #1 in the U.S. in the summer of '87.

Also: the collection omits the #2 "Causing A Commotion," which suggests that she didn't think too highly of this period.

I seem to recall there was a mini-CD with other Madonna hits released briefly afterwards, containing "True Blue", "Causing a Commition", "Who's That Girl" and one more song.

It isn't even listed on Wikipedia, but I know it did exist back then.

It was called The Holiday Collection.

The fourth song was some other version of "Holiday" then?

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

it better fuckin close already

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

wow @ 3-way tie for third

boo

six people are totally crazy

What? "Vogue" with 15? No.

wow that's fuckin turnout!

I don't remember "La Isla Bonita," but what's so distasteful about "Rescue Me"? I voted for "Justify My Love," btw.

THATS FUCKED UP

"Las Isla Bonita" and "Cherish" are two of my favourite Madonna songs... GAH ILM HAS NO HEART.

amazing consensus with intothegroove though. for ilm anyway. nobody hates it!

This poll was awesome, if i might congratulate myself for making it, but mostly you all did an awesome job with all the comments on here - lots of great discussion, thanks everyone!

ILX is very straight not from New York

I shoulda voted for Like A Prayer - the most British song on the list because that's how choirs signify, I guess

also, the whole Elaine Benes thing in the video

lol ya that is funny about into the groove. poor Vogue! i can't believe that

ILM in wrong again non-shocker

I find "Vogue" one of the weakest here. Obviously not the weakest but that is mainly because there are other tracks from the same era that are worse.

Bullshit. La Isla is classic.

worst madonna thread ever

good thread, wack results. Vogue is an epic-style dance number, beautifully tailored and subtle. La Isla and Cherish are totally classic, even if twee.

"Justify My Love" is totally hot. I understand why Geir might hate it, but your vote surprises me jaymc.

yea why the hate, just cuz it's not catchy or dancy?

<i>six people are totally crazy</i>

OTM.

As per my threat towards the middle of the thread, you 6 can go ahead and pack your bags for hell, because I am going to send you there.

(sorry about the alexinnyc tags)

Bags are packed!

It'll be just like heaven if I never have to hear Live To Tell again.

insane

You have a good name, though! I shall allow you to live. Or at least rule over the other 5 in your own personal hells (which you are already living in).

Vogue may be an epic-style dance number, but I've always hated it. I didn't feel the whole Dick Tracy thing at the time, and so the name-dropping was empty to me. I'm not the song's target audience either, rarely want to feel like a queen on a throne, etc.

I am sadly not shocked at the crazy ILM hate for "La Isla Bonita", but yeah, "Live To Tell" is fantastic and I can't see how anyone could hate it, unless you just think ballads are lousy.

lol @ "rarely want to feel like a queen on a throne"!

i think that's Express Yourself (that line)

see Vogue's name-dropping totally worked for me, and i guess i was its target audience =P

you guys all get that the worst song on the record can still be a good song, rite?

this is true. i don't think any song on this comp is really BAD, you know.

now if hanky spanky had been on there...

I don't remember any Dick Tracy name-dropping in "Vogue."

now if hanky spanky had been on there...

-- scott seward

Amen brother.

xp, there wasn't any, just the movie star name dropping at the end. i used to be that kid who was so proud to know every word of that. surprise surprise

"into the groove" getting zero votes = there is hope for ILM

is it true that the number of votes goes up in order with the songs chronologically? some of these i can't place. if i voted, i probably would've picked cherish.

lol you're right, queen on a throne line's from Express Yourself which I've also hated, again with the olde tyme movie thing

"into the groove" getting zero votes = there is hope for ILM

"into the groove" getting zero votes = ILM likes sonic youth

Thinking about it I probably don't hate Live To Tell; I just have zero positive feelings towards it, unlike pretty much everything else on the disc. I like her mid- to up-tempo stuff far more than her ballads.

It doesn't help that I was in Junior High when it came out and it was THE overplayed slow dance song for like two years running. I slowly rotated in a circle to it (at proper jr. high arms length apart, mind you) far too many times.

It's got a beautiful melody. TBH, I never realized how much I loved it til I heard that awesome Bill Frisell cover of it.

seriously and everything FUCK MADONNA. cunt needs a slap.

i speak as someone who likes a lot of her tunes but like Shannon is way cooler.

now if hanky spanky had been on there...

^still wrong.

six people are totally crazy

Sixty morelike

It's got a beautiful melody.

lol, geirmuzak

TBH, I never realized how much I loved it til I heard that awesome Bill Frisell cover of it.

I never realized how bad it was until I heard it up against Ives and Muddy Waters

but it's funny that you need Bill Frisell's ok to like Madonna. i guess you're a metal fan too.

Have Biffy Clyro said it's OK to like Madonna yet? As they are the official FUTURE OF MUSIC we need their prior permission.

uh, "learn to read better"

What do people not like about "Cherish"? I think the lyrics do certainly suck, but I've always liked the music/harmonies (even if the song is nothing fancy). I'd rather listen to that one than "Material Girl" (which I think is a pretty annoying song, actually).

So, is it the lyrics? The overall pedestrian quality to it?

it's cutesy.

Live To Tell came alive to me when i paid attention to the textures. its sound is very rich.

Yeah, overall "Cherish" holds up a little better than "Material Girl." Both are second-tier singles for me though.

Material Girl all the way! that was my favorite song as a kid.

the song's target audience

In 1990 when I was in high school, "Vogue" was easily the biggest hit of the year and it seemed like everbody loved it. From rockers to jocks, to geeks and "alternative" types, everyone was it's "target audience". You could say it was the "Hey Ya!" of its time, which is why its placing here really surprises me. Maybe it's been overplayed?

its sound is very rich.

yeah, you gotta dress up a bad song with a lotta bullshit production "significance"

overall "Cherish" holds up a little better than "Material Girl."

insane

Eric, I think I let my distaste for Jay-Z's "Justify My Thug" overshadow my appreciation for the song it samples.

Yes, neither sound nor melody matters to how good a song is. What do you like about "Material Girl," jerking it to the video? LUV U 'NEBB

Lubing in a gabbneb world.

Oh, my.

My copy of the single of Live to Tell had a pimple on it.

will iiiiiTHUNKiiiiiTHUNKiiiii... THUNK ever THUNK haaaaaTHUNKaaave the chaaaaTHUNKaaaaance agaaaaaTHUNKaaaaTHUNKgaaaTHUNKaaain... THUNK

Yes, neither sound nor melody matters to how good a song is. What do you like about "Material Girl," jerking it to the video? LUV U 'NEBB

looooooool. moron.

is there anyone in the universe who actually finds Madonna attractive?

She's orright.

Nice one, 'Nebb! ;););)

is there anyone in the universe who actually finds Madonna attractive?

I guess Guy Ritchie does....

"don't you know don't you know for fack's sake"

Nice one, 'Nebb! ;););)

"Nice one" "'Nebb"

"""" """"

I forgot I had this in my iTunes, so I listened to everything again in snippets just now and can totally confirm that 1. la isla bonita is not the worst song on this really at all 2. cherish totally awful and terrible and everybody should hate it, or as chaki might put it, sheesh.

jesus christ tom go to bed

you first, buttface

hey i'm about to flop onto one of my fine hardwood floors. i'd cue this up myself but my downstairs neighbor who i hear coughing and swearing at what i hope is a video game system would be irritated. la isla bonita is great, cherish is weak, boom, done.

fuck the haters, one might even say

Nobody voting for into the groove makes me happy.

how cherish could not be everyone's FAVORITE madonna song is beyond me, never mind the hatred which i can't even process right now. oooh i do declare I'm feeling peaked. ban old people

la isla bonita is just this side of boring (the good side), and the balkan version she did at live earth was kind of great.

La Isla Bonita = I Was a Free Man in San Juan

I forgot what won this.

it was La Isla Bonita!

i had forgotten how different the original mixes sounded until I just pulled them up on Youtube. thought "Like a Prayer" sounded weird when I bought Immaculate Collection this summer....but hell, the new beat sort of changes how the melody works!

"La Isla Bonita" WTF? :(

it's so weird and wrong that 'la isla bonita' won this

though to be really fair 'rescue me' should've been left off and then it would've been tough. maybe...'express yourself'!

"Cherish" is the worst.

Also, I don't like "Holiday" very much!

Actually I still like "Bonita" just fine, even tho I ranked it last on that "Rank Anything" thread just the other day. I recently did a nice little amateurish mashup (my first one ever) of that & "Who's That Girl" for my own amusement. (Verdict: Competent - practically flawless, in fact - but not terribly imaginative.)

I don't understand why Bonita is disliked. Vogue, on the other hand, is a very uninteresting song.

Can't stand Bonita - it's like Boney M Sings Madonna.

Megan sang Live to Tell while cutting my head today

heartfelt emotion tears

this poll is ridic

These suck.

this poll is incorrect, the correct answer is "Cherish" ("La Isla Bonita" is the second-worst) and the sequencing just makes it even clearer how much of a colossal step backward in quality it is

"Rescue Me" and "Justify My Love" both rule

("Rescue Me" in particular reminds me of Cher, which is part of why I love it)

that's one of the last times she used her drag queen imitation on a hit -- I like it.

"cherish" is my fav madonna song i'll never get the hate

romeo and juliet!

I know I know

GIVE ME JOY
MAH BOY

herb ritts video also undeniably classic

Sometimes the way she sings "they never felt this way I bet" makes me tear up a bit

otm

i love how dense the programming feels, every instrumental phrase in the track is like an additional interlocking rhythm. it's like musical clockwork

also

who?
you!

“cherish” has enough good melodic ideas for about ten great songs. It’s like if early nineties Tori Amos had been ghostwriting pop hits.

"Cherish" is one of my favorite songs ever. Also "underestimate" = best use of a five-syllable word in a pop song (tied with "conditionally" in "Flesh Without Blood").

― geoffreyess, Friday, July 14, 2017 10:52 AM (eleven months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

La Isla Bonita is not even close to the worst?????

Rescue Me is the one forgettable song on the album so I'd vote for that.

Cherish is cutesy but a really tight and catchy track. The production has dated worse than Madonna's other songs... a little Wilson Phillips-esque.

"Cherish" is one of the worst songs ever recorded.

― HI DERE, Thursday, December 6, 2007 9:17 AM (ten years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is madness

otm on skip's whole post

tori amos would never record anything as glurgey as "cherish" and that includes during y kant tori read

is "Rescue Me" a Fontella Bass cover? if so it probably rules, but not remembering it is a bad sign

Cherish is hooks upon hooks upon hooks, Tim otm

I bet 'Cherish' is Pharrell's favourite Madonna song. 'So don't underestimate my point of view' is a great line to drop in a song like that.

The production has dated worse than Madonna's other songs... a little Wilson Phillips-esque.

― skip, Tuesday, July 3, 2018 11:50 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i've def said this on fifteen other madonna threads but for me it's scritti politti, feels like a distant cousin of "first boy in this town"

What does glurgey mean

is "Rescue Me" a Fontella Bass cover? if so it probably rules, but not remembering it is a bad sign

― droit au butt (Euler), Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Nope.

glurge, original definition https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/category/glurge-gallery/

Katherine otm then

Cherish is very good. I would have voted Borderline I think

also "cherish is the word I use to remind me of your love" is particularly dumb, it's not a fucking mnemonic

Should've said 'Cher-ish'.

Makes me happy that “Get Into the Groove” has zero votes (as it should).

I just heard "Rescue Me" for the first time in years -- it made me happy.

'Cherish' rules, and Tim F is undoubtedly OTM - the song is stuffed with an incredible amount of hooks, plus it's one of the those songs that I just find very uplifting - it captures a sorta "just fallen in love for what feels like the first time" kinda feeling really well.

The worst song here is the one that topped the poll.

The Tori song I was thinking of most was “Tear In Your Hand”, but there is no precise analogue - the main reason for the comparison is in how Tori used to have this thing of piling bridges and alternative choruses and counterpoint harmonies into the final minute or two of her songs in a manner that felt profligate as well as generous, kinda like the outro to Fleetwood Mac’s “Sara” only ostentatiously foregrounded.

On “Cherish” it starts with the “who/you” section and thereafter the song is wild ride of contrasting hooks. By the end you have four different melodic sections deliriously circling and splintering around each other like a kaleidoscope: a figment of the chorus (“cherish the faith” etc.), “can’t get where I won’t let you”, “your’re giving it, you’re giving it to me boy, keep giving me all your joy” and “give me faith, give me joy my boy, I will always cherish you” - somewhere between the simple perfection of the bridge-meets-chorus climax of “Baby One More Time”, the confusing maximalism of prime Xenomania and the rococo rush of interwoven detail of Tori’s “Father Lucifer”. It’s a masterclass. It also would be the perfect example of an “Under Pressure”-style “room with many doors” except for the fact that it feels too tight, too natural, too inevitable for that thought to occur to me while i’m listening to it.

Another thing I like this song is how it really capitalises on the topographical contours of a triplet / shuffle groove, the way that kind of groove really emphasises the addition and subtraction of elements (most prominently and typically pulsing basslines) to create the sensation of the song speeding up and slowing down (e.g. the way the “Who? You! Can’t get where I won’t let you” bridge seems to give the listener some rope and then sultrily pull you back into the groove). I can imagine Paramore earnestly studying this while they were making “Forgiveness”.

Finally, I like to imagine the idea that the very first lyrical idea for this song was the use of the phrase “perish the thought”, and then Madonna and Patrick simply built out from there. That prospect alone would be enough for me to love this song.

otm

master class

yet, you see, Madonna doesn't write her own material

you can have 1,000 hooks but if the song is insipid glurge they don't matter

Yeah the song is as difficult for me to get thru as that long post extolling its virtues (sorry everybody!)

like, at least something like "lucky star" has an edge to it

Pleased to see i’m winning the hearts and minds of ILX

(sorry man! couldn’t resist the low road)

you can have 1,000 hooks but if the song is insipid glurge they don't matter

― aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Thursday, July 5, 2018 1:36 AM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yeah the song is as difficult for me to get thru as that long post extolling its virtues (sorry everybody!)

― i’m still stanning (morrisp), Thursday, July 5, 2018 1:40 AM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrjwaqZfjIY

i'm just realizing the only version i've heard of Express Yourself for the last 30 years is the version from this album, upon putting on the original.

my god. I can't imagine listening to the Pettibone mix ever again.

The Pettibone remix is GARBAGE with a capital FUCK OFF

your original angry comments about it upthread were what just prompted me to do an A/B comparison lol

Haha lol I AM MAKING A DIFFERENCE

Into The Groove getting 0 votes might quietly be the most correct result from any ILXOR poll.

even in the inferior mix on TIC

Oh ok I had somehow never seen this, far out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mQgGMAfKEU

I love Madonna's last album to play, write, and sing with a live band.

last night I dreamt of some bagels

^