500 Abysmally Bad Chart Songs

2) "Right Here Waiting" - Richard Marx

"Cat's In The Cradle" - Harry Chapin

4 Margaritaville

5. When September Ends

6. Take Me Out

7. Somebody Told Me

8. Dur Dur D'etre Bebe

Is this for VH1?

take me out and margaritaville arent that bad

yeah I love Margaritaville

9) Rihanna "Take A Bow"

10) Coldplay "Viva la whatever the fuck"

11) Some Band You Like "Some Song You Like"

^^killjoy

12) The Escape Club, "I'll Be There"

13. Sixpence None The Richer .: "Kiss Me"

14. "(You're) Having My Baby" - Paul Anka

15. Creed "With Arms Wide Open"

16. That one about "watching the people get larry...it's not very sensible!"

^ "I Predict A Riot"

The picks by Coldplay, Franz Ferdinand and Kaiser Chiefs are all among the best of the charts of recent years.

Anything by Nelly, Destiny's Child, Fergie or Justin Timberlake would fit well in on the other hand. I prefer even the most boring adult contemporary stuff to that worthless crap any day.

I mean, I despise James Blunt, but still James Blunt >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Fergie

xpost Somebody Told Me and Take Me Out are not abysmal

17. "Follow Me" - Uncle Kracker

18. "I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You" - Black Kids

18 "Lips Of An Angel"
19 "Hate Me"
20 Limp Bizkit's "Behind Blue Eyes"

I did not put "Rock Star" by Nickelback because I'm assuming people here like that song even though it's a walking turd.

http://www.chicklingo.com/catalog/images/B609_tn.jpg

yer all lucky i didn't use this picture instead

http://www.fwalsh.ca/images/400p/400-Art---Butterfly-Kisses.jpg

21. Seasons in the Sun

Dunno the point of 500. Why not stop at 50,000,000?

22. United States of Whatever

I really fucking hate #1.

23. London Bridge - Fergie
24. I Like To Move It - Real 2 Reel
25. Hot In Here - Nelly
26. Independent Woman - Destiny's Child
27. Axel F - Crazy Frog

I always begin poking fun at these "abysmally bad" chart songs and before I know it I'm singing "hey hey you you, I don't like your girlfriend" to myself and loving it.

28) Nickelback - whatever songs by Nickelback. These haven't fooled me yet.

29. Daniel Bedingfield, If You're Not The One

This song is my own personal nemesis that I can never escape.

30. Peter Gabriel - Sledgehammer
31. Robert Palmer - Addicted To Love
32. McFly - Transylvania
33. Blue Mink - Banner Man
34. Bruce Willis - Under The Boardwalk
35. Showaddywaddy - I Wonder Why
36. Brown Sauce - I Wanna Be A Winner
37. Staff Sgt Barry Sadler - Ballad Of The Green Berets
38. Strawbs - Part Of The Union
39. Barron Knights - Pop Go The Workers
40. Jim Davidson - White Christmas

Bruce Willis version of anything CHARTED?

Got to number two that did, and he also made the top ten with his assassination of "Respect Yourself."

"Sledgehammer" is abysmal only when compared to 90 per cent of everything else Peter Gabriel has composed and performed.

Yes but you are abysmal when compared to 100 per cent of all other people who have ever lived.

41. The Ketchup Song
42. The Birdie Song
43. Macarena
44. The Twist
45. Agadoo

if it aint srs lyrics then there shld be srs dancing. this is how i judge music

-- usic, Friday, June 13, 2008 10:57 AM (Friday, June 13, 2008 10:57 AM) Bookmark Link

46. Westlife - Flying Without Wings
47. JJ Barrie - No Charge
48. Charlene - I've Never Been To Me
49. David Bowie - Jean Genie
50. Spandau Ballet - I'll Fly For You

51. Ten Sharp - You

52. Hale & Pace - The Stonk
53. Right Said Fred & "Friends" - Stick It Out
54. Sugababes vs Girls Aloud - Walk This Way
55. Busted - Who's David?
56. Boyzone - A Different Beat
57. Phillip Schofield - Close Every Door
58. Harry Enfield - Loadsamoney (Doin' Up The House)
59. Singing Squaddies - Unchained Melody
60. 10cc - Dreadlock Holiday

61. The Calling - Wherever You Will Go

62. George Michael + Elton John - Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me

Five Plus Queen, we will rock you.

That Simple Minds cover of "Sign of the times", following up the arguably bad "Belfast Child" with the unarguably bad.

65. The Feeling - Fill Moi Little World ROIIIIGHT Up
66. Supertramp - Breakfast In America
67. The Brat - Chalk Dust (The Umpire Strikes Back)
68. Brotherhood of Man - Figaro
69. Gordon Giltrap - Heartsong
70. Shit Shit Shit - Love Is All Around
71. All-4-One - I Swear
72. Dick Emery - Ooh You Are Awful
73. Toyah - Good Morning Univerth
74. Woolpackers - Hillbilly Rock Hillbilly Roll
75. Snowmen - Hokey Cokey

76. Michael Barrymore - Too Much For One Heart
77. Starturn On 45 (Pints) - Pump Up The Bitter
78. Morris Minor & the Majors - Stutter Rap
79. Carter USM - Lenny And Terence
80. George Cole & Dennis Waterman - What Are We Gonna Get 'Er Indoors?

You're gonna reach 500 on your own, aren't you?

I'm just setting the pace - it's up to others to join in!

81. Stay Another Day - E17
82. Acceptable in the 80s - Calvin Harris

I can't help but think that Marcello has a soft spot for 'Arfur Daley He's Alright' by the Firm.

83. The Firm - Star Trekkin'
84. The Rubettes - Foe-Dee-O-Dee
85. Typically Tropical - Barbados
86. Everton 1985 - Here We Go
87. Jive Bunny & the Mastermixers - Let's Party
88. Vengaboys - We're Going To Ibiza
89. Paul Nicholas - Reggae Like It Used To Be
90. Five Star - System Addict

there are indeed klingons on the starboard bow..

XPOST!

89. Paul Nicholas - Reggae Like It Used To Be

MUST HEAR

Is it any better than 'Grandma's Party'?

"Grandma's Party" is like Mahler's Third in comparison.

91. Eric Clapton - Tears In Heaven
92. Madonna - Hanky Panky
93. Anita Dobson - Anyone Can Fall In Love
94. Billy Howard - King Of The Cops
95. Dickie Valentine - Christmas Alphabet
96. Dire Straits - Sultans Of Swing
97. Genesis - Jesus He Knows Me
98. Doctor Spin - Tetris
99. Joy Sarney - Naughty Naughty Naughty
100. Cliff Richard - Sing A Song Of Freedom

101. Great Thread

102. Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now - Matt DC

71. All-4-One - I Swear

-- Dingbod Kesterson, Wednesday, 30 July 2008 12:01 (26 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

^ban

Why are there so many actually brilliant songs on this list?

103. OMC - How Bizarre

104. Bob Marley & the Wailers - No Woman No Cry
105. Deep Purple - Strange Kind Of Woman
106. Richard Chamberlain - Three Stars Will Shine Tonight
107. Fraggles - Theme From Fraggle Rock
108. Malcolm Vaughan - Saint Theresa Of The Roses
109. Tom Jones - Delilah
110. Solomon King - She Wears My Ring

At least three totally awesome songs between 104 and 110

111. Starship - We Built This City

^^I feel like I should hate this song but but have weird childhood nostalgia

you contributors to this thread, in my own view, have just enough education to perform. i would love to shoot you all.

112. "Baby I Love Your Way" by BIG MOUNTAIN

Families of the victims have besieged the authorities with queries as to why action wasn't taken sooner after the killer had been found to have written the words "I would love to shoot you all" on an internet messageboard.

"What people don't understand," a spokeswoman commented, "is that we can take no active action to prevent killings unless the victims are killed first."

Leilani - Madness Thing

114. Crazytown .: "Butterfly"

chart song?

oh ok, just checked.

115. PowerSource "Dear Mr. Jesus"

116. The Eagles "One Of These Nights"
117. Starland Vocal Band "Afternoon Delight"
118. Debby Boone "You Light Up My Life"
119. Player "Baby Come Back"
120. Rupert Holmes "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)"
121. Kenny Rogers "Lucille"
122. Diana Ross and Lionel Richie "Endless Love"

123. The Buckinghams "Kind Of A Drag"
124. Gary Puckett And The Union Gap "Young Girl"
125. Steve Miller "Abracadabra"
126. Diesel "Sausalito Summer Nights"
127. Men At Work "Down Under"
128. Kajagoogoo "Too Shy"
129. Lionel Richie "Hello"

130. Nik Kershaw - Wide Boy

125. Steve Miller "Abracadabra"

get da fuck outta heeeere

Sting - Fields Of Gold

You get da fuck outta heeeere. Preferably via the White Cliffs of Dover, without a parachute.

132. Stone Roses - One Love

"95. Dickie Valentine - Christmas Alphabet"

HOW DARE YOU

125. Steve Miller "Abracadabra"

This guy would probably hate 'Fandabidozee' too :o(

Um, Nick, it's not a guy...

...and she's also correct, it's a sad sack of shit. Deal with it.

131. Love the one you're with

oops that should be

133. love the one you're with

It's 2008, guys can be girls and girls can be guys. DEAL WITH IT.

it's a sad sack of shit. Deal with it.

No way! If anything, it's a happy sack of shit. With magical touches.

I prefer the mash-up with Genesis - Abacabradabra

Abracadabra IS abysmal but this:

127. Men At Work "Down Under"
128. Kajagoogoo "Too Shy"

^^^ FALSE

It's 2008, guys can be girls and girls can be guys. DEAL WITH IT.

Which reminds me:
134. Blur - She's So High

Yeah totally, there's a kebab shop named after that mash-up down my road: Kebabacabradabra.

x-post

135. Deep Blue Something - Breakfast at Tiffanny's

^^^WIN

136. Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You
137. Bryan Adams - Everything I Do (I Do It For You)

136. Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You

this is great!

123 to 129 are all redeemable to brilliant

I haven't heard of about half of these so far. US/UK differentiation?

138. The Seahorses - Love Is The Law
139. Monks - Nice Legs Shame About The Face
140. Fat Les - Naughty Christmas (Goblin In The Office)
141. Crazy Town - Revolving Door

49. David Bowie - Jean Genie

:(

142. Phil Collins - Groovy Kind of Love

The special 9/11 tribute section...

143 Paul McCartney "Freedom"
144 Alan Jackson "Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)"
145 Jennifer Lopez & Ja Rule "I'm Real"
146 Lee Greenwood "God Bless The USA"
147 P Diddy & Bono w/ Fred Durst, J-Lo, Nelly Furtado, Ja Rule, etc" What’s Going On"
148 Five For Fighting "Superman"

149. Blink 182 "All the Small Things"
150. All of their other singles

I'm taking it upon myself to replace 150. Sorry.

150 Blessed Union Of Souls "Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me For Me)"
151 Shaggy "It Wasn’t Me"
152 The Offspring "Why Don’t You Get A Job"
153 Lenny Kravitz "Fly Away"
154 Barenaked Ladies "Pinch Me"
155 Dave Matthews Band "I Did It"
156 Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians "What I Am"
157 Madonna "American Pie"
158 Bryan Adams "The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You"
159 Everything "Hooch"

144 Alan Jackson "Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)"

This is the best 9-11 song!

I'd rather listen to Blessid Union of Souls than Blink 182...and that's saying a lot

160. Gina G--"Ooh Ahh Just a Little Bit"

"All The Small Things" is a great song, this is nuts. And I'll stand for each of 116-129 except for 118, which is abysmally bad, and 126, which I've never heard of.

All the Small Things is a steaming pile of uber bubble gummy pop "punk" shit.

161. Smashmouth - "All-Star"

^^^ OTM

162. Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow--Picture

^^^ could not avoid that song or "Jesus Take The Wheel" when i was in Mississipi a couple of years ago.

I'm taking it upon myself to replace 150. Sorry.

-billstevejim

Now THERE'S an idea! Fixing someone else's RONG answer & recycling its number before adding the next number unnecessarily. Thusly:

128. Kajagoogoo "Too Shy" Counting Crows, "Mr. Jones"

The target of 500 is now a lot more difficult, if not impossible.

163. Wings - "My Love"
164. Cutting Crew - "(I Just Died) In Your Arms Tonight"

Wow, I forgot that Kid Rock/Sheryl Crow piece of shit existed.

I appreciate that, cos "Too Shy" is way good. However, my reasoning was that "All of their other singles" is not a chart song.

Fixing the earlier mistakes people have been making here should be allowed though, and I'm all for it.

list of songs on this list that are actually brilliant:
"Cat's In The Cradle" - Harry Chapin
6. Take Me Out
7. Somebody Told Me
9) Rihanna "Take A Bow"
10) Coldplay "Viva la whatever the fuck"
17. "Follow Me" - Uncle Kracker
18. "I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You" - Black Kids
20 Limp Bizkit's "Behind Blue Eyes"
21. Seasons in the Sun
23. London Bridge - Fergie
24. I Like To Move It - Real 2 Reel
25. Hot In Here - Nelly
26. Independent Woman - Destiny's Child
30. Peter Gabriel - Sledgehammer
31. Robert Palmer - Addicted To Love
49. David Bowie - Jean Genie
54. Sugababes vs Girls Aloud - Walk This Way
60. 10cc - Dreadlock Holiday
96. Dire Straits - Sultans Of Swing
109. Tom Jones - Delilah
122. Diana Ross and Lionel Richie "Endless Love"
127. Men At Work "Down Under"
153 Lenny Kravitz "Fly Away"
Sting - Fields Of Gold
136. Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You
164. Cutting Crew - "(I Just Died) In Your Arms Tonight"

Besides Limp Bizkit (my choice), I agree with those.

I would probably agree but for the video which is so hilariously obvious and over the top that it vibrates out of reality, chemically fuses itself with the molecular structure of the song and the whole thing combusts giving off fumes that make you feel giddy and don't give you a headache.

And wrf about Whitney? Her version of IWALY had some ridiculous effect on me at whatever age I was when it came out. I remember hearing it for the first time in a toyshop and standing under the radio for the entire duration of the song. I don' really thing in the time I've spent voraciously consuming music ever since, that I've truly heard a song and loved it the way i heard that song that day.

165. Sergio Mendes - Never Gonna Let You Go