Scientific Attempt To Create Most Annoying Song Ever

Old, but can't see it elsewhere.
explanations

mp3

The most unwanted music is over 25 minutes long, veers wildly between loud and quiet sections, between fast and slow tempos, and features timbres of extremely high and low pitch, with each dichotomy presented in abrupt transition. The most unwanted orchestra was determined to be large, and features the accordion and bagpipe (which tie at 13% as the most unwanted instrument), banjo, flute, tuba, harp, organ, synthesizer (the only instrument that appears in both the most wanted and most unwanted ensembles). An operatic soprano raps and sings atonal music, advertising jingles, political slogans, and "elevator" music, and a children's choir sings jingles and holiday songs. The most unwanted subjects for lyrics are cowboys and holidays, and the most unwanted listening circumstances are involuntary exposure to commercials and elevator music. Therefore, it can be shown that if there is no covariance—someone who dislikes bagpipes is as likely to hate elevator music as someone who despises the organ, for example—fewer than 200 individuals of the world's total population would enjoy this piece.

the problem is that many parts of this are fantastic

xp - chances are, these 200 people are hanging out right here

actually pretty much every part except for the obnoxious rap near the beginning are awesome

the section with the operatic rap mixed with the children choir jingles is hurting my brain

there was a not very long thread on it a while back...
what would be your "most wanted song" and your "most unwanted song"?

do people really like operatic sopranos less than they like animal collective

wtf that description makes me really want to hear it

something i am about to do

I bet it sounds like the Fiery Furnaces.

yeah it kinda does

this is basically gonna be like half an hour of Resonance FM :D

lol I'm thinking "The Beta Band's self-titled album" rather than The Fiery Furnaces

(a record I totally love fwiw)

these guys have also come up with "America's most wanted painting", ie "an autumnal landscape with wild animals, a family enjoying the outdoors, the color blue, and George Washington". I guess that should be on ILE

but what the hell

http://www.diacenter.org/km/usa/most700.jpg

america really loves its kinkade shit and really hates its awesome musical clusterfuck insanity

what a nation

Holy crap that rapping soprano. Words fail me.

denmark's least wanted painting is radical:

http://www.diacenter.org/km/den/least.jpg

I took it to ILE:

Scientific Attempt To Create Most Wanted and Least Wanted Paintings (according to country)

this is more like a Patton project tbh

oh lol wow

Hey look they made a video for it as well!

(xxxpost) does that man have udders and a nob?

Anyway, this sounds like someone going through all the presets on their Yamaha auto-accompaniment keyboard.

the last 3 minutes is almost unbearbly moving

^^^^^this, it's the best bit IMO

greatest agit-prop choral hoedown elevator music...ever

If they removed the kids singing it would be really good.

I loved the kids choir till they got to holloween

These guys should tour with sun city girls or something. This is awesome.

You've gotta hear 'the most wanted song as well', it's a lost 80s soul classic. Second verse is a killer.

Whoever made the Fiery Furnaces comment was OTM.

Last section sounds like what I'd imagine a Danielson Famile song to sound like.

That, or I'm From Barcelona.

this song makes me happy. Every so often I think about organizing a live performance.

Holy crap that rapping soprano. Words fail me.

― Maximo Park Ji-Sung (Matt DC), Wednesday, February 11, 2009 5:11 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I need a thread to talk about Dina Emerson and Jonathan Segel's new band Chaos Butterfly

I simultaneously love and hate the children.

holy shit hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Oh shit Ramadan! Lots of praying, no breakfast.

I am giving myself a headache trying to muffle laughter omg

i could have sworn we had a thread on this... i halfway think i started one

I know I heard about this on This American Life or something once upon a time but I never heard the whole thing before.

Max Tundra already did this

Komar & Melamid: C or D?

ere tis

lol "Morning is Broken" interpolation!

OMG THANK U. hahahahaha this thing is amazing. I heard the 'rappin soprano' bit on the WMFU & People Like Us: DIY or Die podcast (a must for people who actually, uh, enjoyed this) and have been searching for it for ages. It goes into total merciless power-up mode when the bagpipes come in.

Wow I learned something about Wittgenstein.

the most wanted song is fucking intolerable

Good tune, kinda like a poppy NWW.

ok the guitar solo is pretty righteous

Sorry I meant the Most Unwanted one.

lol the most wanted song is also hilarious, who knew a duet between Karyn White and Bob Seger would be so desirable?

Actually, the best bit is the little synth wibble just before the kid yells "Hey everybody! It's Labor Day!"

No, the end is the best bit

argh poll this song already

I also lol at the aggressive way the kids yell "Gramma's on the phone, go and tell her that you love her!"

Max Tundra already did this

*shudder*

the most wanted song is actually equally awesome. I love the start of the scruffy verse talking about the "face of a baby"

Right!

http://mulatta.org/img/covers/peopleschoice250.jpg

This is the actual CD cover.

So is "Gonna buy a lot of Peaches" the most unwanted song, or is it "Lump"?

I'm thinking Van Dyke Parks, and I don't think it's just the accordion swaying me! Whatever the case, totez awes.

HOLY SHIT THIS "UNWANTED SONG" IS AWESOME!!

The rapping opera singer!!

totez awes

most unwanted person

omigod I have been laughing for about ten minutes straight

IT'S HALLOWEEN

YOM KIPPUR

the most wanted song sounds like something out of south park

AT WAL-MART!!!

This has totally made my day.

Where do I find the most wanted song?

http://www.ubu.com/sound/komar.html

Am about to listen to it myself

LET ME BE YOUR BRIDE

omg the last like minute of this is actually unbelievable, synths, key-changes, multi-tracked vocals and all

whoever said the guitar solo is wicked otm

this should inspire us all to go out and create

http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/1081/boringso7.png

I swear that this song is less annoying better than 95% of the Cuneiform catalog.

Haha all you guys gushing over the fierce guitar solo...

Composed by Dave Soldier
Lyrics by Nina Mankin
Executive Producer: Charles Simonyi
Produced by Jane Bausman
Recorded by Rory Young at Big House Studios and Acme Recording Studio
Featuring Vernon Reid On Guitar

hey, can't front

GEORGE STEPHANOPOLOUS!

Hey, the most wanted/unwanted songs are better than Max Tundra...

The Tom Waits verses from Wanted Song should be inserted into Unwanted Song for ultimate lolz, maybe even sung by some death metal belcher. That Unwanted soprano rap is sublime - Charles Ives must be breakin' in his grave...

On the other hand, Whitney, Maria, Beyonce, Leona et al could do some big damage to the first Wanted verses - maybe a super-diva Feed teh World type ego-extravaganza... But that sax is too Kenny G for words.

And for any tech geeks on board, I was listening to Unwanted mp3 in Firefox with the Firebug plugin, and while choking on my looool noticed it was telling me that "This element has no style rules." er, lol

this is immense. it pleases me greatly.

must. shop. at. wal-mart.

Yo I'm ropin' up my saddle
For the long, long ride
Every time I see the desert
There's something inside says
Yo! Yo! This is the life
Give me open land and a
Big ol' knife to get some
Bear, deer--even a snake
I light me a fire
Do the shake and bake
I say Yo! Yo!
I'm a cowboy now
The sun is hot and dry
Gonna rope me a cow
I say Yo! Yo!
I'm loose and free
Whoa there Nelly
You're the horse for me!

Rope 'em up boys
The desert is a callin'
Yahoo, yahoo, yahoo
Saddle up fellas
The desert is a callin'
Yahoo, yahoo, yahoo

Christmas time! Christmas time!
Jesus, Mary, and the manger
Christmas time, Family time,
Do all your shopping, at Wal-Mart!

Easter Time! Easter Time!
Love, forgiveness, and the bunnies!
Easter Time! Chocolate Time!
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

Out on the plains
Just me and my mind
Took me a break
To read some Wittgenstein
Born in Vienna in '89
He obsessed with theories
Of language and time
Like the "Tractatus"
Where Ludwig would claim
"The logic of our language
Is misunderstood"
Philosophy is based
On a false pretense
So philosophy itself
Is nonsense, nonse!
Philosophy itself is non-sense!

Bedeutung ist tun
Es ist ein Sprachspiel
Nonsense! Nonsense!
Wörter sind Inhalt
Yahoo! Yahoo!

Yom Kippur! Yom Kippur!
Self reflection and atonement
Yom Kippur, that's what for
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

Oh say can you--
Feel the embers glowing
And the turkey in the oven!
America!
Hear the children singing
There's a turkey in the oven!
Rockets red glare!
Candles are so pretty
And a turkey in the oven!
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!
Buy spurs that jingle at Wal-Mart!
Ramadan! Ramadan!
Lots of praying with no breakfast!
Ramadan, so much fun!
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

It's home, home
On the big ol' range
Yipee tai oh
Get along there stranger
Rope 'em, ride 'em
Shoot 'em up good
We're big and bad
In the cowboy 'hood
I say Yo! Yo!
Got a river to ford
With a life like this
I never be bored
I say Yo! Yo!
I'm wild and free
Whoa Miss Kitty
You're the gal for me!

Whoa Miss Kitty
I say whoa there
Whoa Miss Kitty
Yahoo! Yahoo!

Labor Day! Labor Day!
Schools are closed and
Pools are open!
Labor Day! All the way!
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

Oh say can you--
Grandma's on the phone
Go and tell her that you love her!
America!
Daddy's on the phone
Go and tell him that you love him!
The Golden Land!
Sister's on the phone
Go and tell her that you love her!
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

Veteran's Day! Veteran's Day!
Big parade with guns and soldiers
Veteran's Day! What's there to say?
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

Halloween! Halloween!
Candy corn for lunch and dinner!
Halloween, what a scream!
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

Look out there
It's an Injun band!
Coming this way
Gonna fight for my land
And build a home town
Grocery store
American cheese
Worth fighting for
Call it "dry gulch"
O.K. Corral
Holiday Spot
For you and your gal
To get some cool shit
And desert rays
Cowboy living' the American Way
It's a cowboy living
Go! Go!
It's cowboy living
Go! Go!
It's cowboy living
All the way!

Rope 'em up boys!
The desert is a callin'!
Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo!

Saddle up fellas!
The desert is a callin'!
Yahoo! Yahoo! Yahoo!

People! Coming together out of a
desire to obtain political power!
Vice Presidential Candidate! Twenty-
seven electoral votes! Central policy
issues! Two party system! Struggle!
Gain control of the government! Executive
branch! Military branch! Foreign affairs!
Influence policy! Promote ideology--
fascism! Promote individual interests--
George Stephanopoulous! Imelda
Marcos! Promote special interests--
Sugar! Beef! Bananas! Lumber! Pork bellies!
Pork barrels! Coca-Cola!
The information superhighway! Three
thousand years of oppression!

Who enslaved humans of color? Who
invaded the Carribbean? Who
murdered all the innocent children?!
You did! You! You! You!

It may be you
It could be me
It's not enough
To wait and see
And when we all
Lock arms and sing
Then bells of freedom
Ring ding ding! Complimentary "The Most Unwanted Song" Ringtone

Send "The Most Unwanted Song" Ringtone to Cell Phone

:D

Yom Kippur! Yom Kippur!
Self reflection and atonement
Yom Kippur, that's what for
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

i love komar and melamid so much. they make actual "art" too, i.e. objects

Ramadan! Ramadan!
Lots of praying with no breakfast!
Ramadan, so much fun!
Do all your shopping at Wal-Mart!

^^^ otm

The most wanted song is "OK", if they could lose some (about 75%) of the sax, it'd be fine.

The most unwanted is a piece of total beauty!

I haven't listened to the annoying song yet, but I imagine they oughta experiment with really high frequency noise the whole song even if its just in the background during the whole song

Would that U2 would do this much research!

Ventolin really isn't that unlistenable at all. In fact, I'd say it was pretty catchy.

Hey Everybody! It's LABOR DAY!

Labour day! Labor day! Do all your shopping - AT WALMART!

confused brit inserts extra 'u'

I always thought the Yom Kippur one was self-reflection and a trumpet ...

i think i recall reading about this in carl wilson's celine dion book, curious to hear this

this song just makes me retardedly happy ... like, if I was to make a list of things to do to cheer myself up when I'm bummed, listening to this song would be on it.

I finally heard this yesterday!

It's a permanent fixture on my 'phone.

(both, that is...)

My friend sent me a text on labor day that just said "Pools are closed and schools are open!" and I lol'd loud.

I remember the first time I heard it was on All Things Considered. I was listening to the podcast while I was walking to class and they played a clip of the opera singer rapping, and right after she was done that bagpipe kicked in and I just fucking lost it and started laughing uncontrollably on the crowded sidewalk. I think I ended up rewinding/relistening like 3 times.

Just the fact they were trying to cram ALL these "unwanted" things into one piece, and hearing an 1)opera singer 2)rapping about 3)cowboys/western themes, interjected with such an intentionally obnoxious 4)bagpipe

Someone who dislikes bagpipes is as likely to hate elevator music as someone who despises the organ.

You know what the "Most Annoying Song" reminds me of, funnily enough, is the "Kangaroo?" album by the Red Krayola with Art and Language. Which is one of my favorite albums ever.

stumbled across this on futility closet, i like it

I had forgotten exactly how hilarious the rapping soprano is.

haven't heard this in years but I do remember the bagpipe causing me to laugh out loud

made it without cracking up until the kids singing about yom kippur and spiritual atonement with the national anthem playing and wal-mart plugs

okay the last couple minutes of this are great

Ahhh, I loved this so much, always glad to be reminded of its existence.

I'd like to see the whole project revisited, tbh. I wonder if tastes will have changed.

whenever there's a terrorist attack or US bombing raid in the middle east, I always think:

WHO KILLED ALL THE INNOCENT CHILDREN?!! YOU DID! YOU!

xp - we could always do this. We could start by creating ILX's most unwanted song

extrapolate it from a bunch of unwanted posters

so the lyrics would be composed of tanuki, gabbneb, loujags, and whiney g posts

definitely should involve a non-hemiola for old tymes sake

LJ and Turrican should collaborate on the music for it.

i think you mean the musical content

xp - we could always do this. We could start by creating ILX's most unwanted song

― sarahell, Monday, April 10, 2017 6:46 PM (twenty-one minutes ago)

I'd be up for running a ballot survey and doing this, but I fear the most wanted music would just be overrun with votes for Gaz Coombes and Toilet Duck.

now there's a collaboration that needs to happen

Not trying to say I'm *not* on Team Toilet Duck, btw. Duck is definitely on my team (quack).

Also we could just do this in google forms, couldn't we? No need for complex ballots. HMMMMM.

geez I still need to do a toilet duck remix of our recent singer-songwriter's train track

feel guilty about stalling on my own esperantish megamix

anyway e.mily this is not a terrible idea and i promise not to duck boost if it goes ahead

Their 'most wanted painting' survey is all online, but I can't find the music one anywhere, so I'm going to have to make it up from scratch. I am into this idea, though!

I don't think it was a ranked choice survey, I think some of the questions were yes/no, with some multiple choice.

It was something like this (though I added things here and there)

Genres: pop, rock, R&B, opera, country/western, classical (instrumental), classical (choral), rap, jazz, military/national anthems, electronic dance music, non-idiomatic free improv

Subject matter: love, sex, holidays, food, politics, history, philosophy, art, literature, television and films, family, fashion, transportation, science, religion, jokes

Instruments: guitar, electric bass, drums, flute, piano, organ, electronic noise generators, violin, cello, viola, contrabass, oboe, clarinet, bassoon, tuba, trombone, trumpet, saxophone, sousaphone, flugelhorn, bagpipes, oud, drum machine, field recordings of nature sounds, field recordings of urban sounds, xylophone, classical percussion, ethnic percussion

vccal styles ...

too hard

This doesn't really need to be done as The 1975 have put two albums since 2009, so take your pick.

*out

don't they make children's music?

America's Most Wanted Painting
http://www.gwennseemel.com/images/blog09/KomarMelamidAmericaMost.jpg

France's Most Wanted Painting
http://www.gwennseemel.com/images/blog09/KomarMelamidFranceMost.jpg

China's Most Wanted Painting
http://www.gwennseemel.com/images/blog09/KomarMelamidChinaMost.jpg

Holland's Most Wanted Painting
http://www.gwennseemel.com/images/blog09/KomarMelamidHollandMost.jpg

I wonder if I'm too old to learn Dutch.

I think France's Most Unwanted Painting is my favorite of the lot:

http://www.gwennseemel.com/images/blog09/KomarMelamidFranceLeast.jpg

I am giving myself a headache trying to muffle laughter omg

― nosotros niggamos (HI DERE), Wednesday, 11 February 2009 20:13 (eight years ago) Permalink

^^^ OMG this! How have I never heard this before today? Much of it sounds like my record collection (accordion, tuba, opera, Residents) thrown into a Cuisinart.

France's most unwanted painting rules!

That's my new national flag

Closest in sensibilities to the Least Wanted Song is probably the Italian Least Wanted Painting

http://awp.diaart.org/km/ita/least.jpg

Denmark's Least Wanted is awesome
http://awp.diaart.org/km/den/least.jpg

Inspired by this revival, I played the Most Unwanted Song on the radio this afternoon and totally made some six-year-old girl's day, her mom called me in awe.

Denmark really hates Custer's Revenge?

I had the two songs on one CD, the third track was The Hoosiers' "Stop giving me verses" aka the least wanted song.

Delighted to see that so many other people agree with me that operatic soprano is the most annoying sound in music.

Still a jam in 2020.

if i ever get married, this song will be played at the wedding.

it occurs to me that SDSS14+13B (Zercon, A Flagpole Sitter) might just be scott walker's attempt at this concept