Rolling Worst Songs of 2009 (formerly 'I AM SO FUCKING APPALLED')

Give me Asher. Give me Katy. Give me Lady fucking Gaga. Just don't, DON'T, DO NOT give me this.

jesus weeping christ:

once upon a time
in the early days of rhyme
rap was just an aoddity
not today's commodity
a sure form of self expression
not violence and wealth obsession
so please let me take this chance
to change your mind and make you dance!

who's hot, who's not?

well, i wanna take you back to the brooklyn streets of the 1970's
where kids played beats by stomping their feet
and became the first mc's
cause you know what they were rapping about positivity
despite the fact that they were living an a greature poverty

now all we ever seem to find is another greedy fool with an empty mind
why?

we got a hunger for a real donation
true mc's with imagination
go back in your memory
way back before the money
tip your hat to the old school
straight up, too fresh and so cool

this is a love song, this is a love

they walked down staircases in their fat shoelaces
and they had smiling faes on
cause you know that their flow caused a hippity show
breakers breaking till the break of dawn

had the party shaking to the tracks they wre making
these guys could do no wrong
they rocked the house keeping all the words
up party-moving all night long

now it's not about bouta bouta wha'da ya got
but what you gotta gotta gotta to give
giving to the people i the hottest of hot
so start thinking about the love you can live

AABB ABAB...

this..thing......it makes me want to curl up into the fetal position

lol those are the actual lyrics to the actual song, wow

^possible stylistic predecessor.

sorry rev but that was hysterical, i'm sure i'll hate it if it's ever a hit but i was smiling and lolling all through the last 4 minutes

favorite part is either "this is a love song, this is a love HOO" or the bass solo

I got about two couplets and stopped it all like "ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?"

nevermind i just remembered "cause you know that their flow caused a hippity show"

haha wait these guys are from Montreal!?

Lineup

Kim Ho: vocals, guitar
CowBella: keyboard, vocals, percussion
Sid-Z (Sid Zanforlin): drums, vocals
Gina Simmons: bass, vocals

My dad was on Zanforlin but had to stop because of the side effects.

Siouxsie and Budgie are looking good!

waaaait a second, this isn't the side project for the singer from Hot Springs, is it? because they're great and this is fucking horrific.

ok, no, that's some other ill-conceived Mtl hip-hop project.

Its like they don't know anybody with better judgement

got one line in :o

we haven't even dealt with dan black yet :(

actually until and unless this creature thing becomes a hit i can ignore it

dan black, however, is Receiving Hype, and is actually genuinely more appalling, and i apologise to you all but you have to hear this:

the keffiyah. it's like he's deliberately goading me.

x_X

is that the emoticon for "blinded by tears of rage"?

that's the emoticon for "that was so shocking that I am dead now"

I just want to say that I tried to give ILM a warning about that Biggie cover on the 'wonky pop' thread - just so like if I fuck up massively in the near future and I need a reason for ppl's goodwill

if i were to arrange all the acts who have irked me beyond endurance in 2009 alone, based on their music and trying to ignore their terrible personalities, it would go

katy perry > lady gaga > la roux > asher roth > animal collective > dan black

i hate pop music

Why do white people criticize one another for being white?

Hope he does 'You're Nobody (Til Somebody Kills You)' next over a Hey Ya sample.

hahahahahahahahaha that dan black thing

maybe i'm just in a really good mood today but this stuff is all just making me lmao instead of getting mad or anything

Creature sounds like Blondie.

Who signed these assholes?

also, dan black. can england just stop making music for maybe like two years?

dan black is gonna pay for ruining my karaoke staple >:(

maybe i'm just in a really good mood today but this stuff is all just making me lmao instead of getting mad or anything

me too. Dan Black >> Emily Wells

gonna kill that dude

that Dan Black vid sounds like Collective Soul

2009: the year electrodribble broke rev's brane

busily constructing homemade dan black sized guillotine

the worst part is that he probably thinks that people that hate what he's doing are just being boring rap snobs about it, when in fact people hate what he's doing because it's fucking garbage.

you people are curmudgeons. why do old people always hate music made for young people?

if you guys were 12 years old you'd love this song.

But I'm not and I'm listening to Moderat instead, happily.

These young people are talking about when these old people were young people.

i want to fucking kill that dan black dude

i posted this to another thread awhile ago but this is up there for worst songs of 09:

xxxAfricanQueenxxx (5 days ago) Show Hide Marked as spam | Spam
wow tht song touched me a lot !

Pothatuu (2 days ago) Show Hide Marked as spam | Spam
My daddy touched me a lot!

lollllll

ok once it occurred to me that "daddy" looked kind of like herm edwards i totally lost my shit.

you know, other parts of the internet have things like "anonymous" to deal with people like Dan Black

dan black > katy perry > animal collective > lady gaga > asher roth > brokenCYDE

i posted this to another thread awhile ago but this is up there for worst songs of 09:

I guess we can just make this the "rolling worst songs of 09" thread?

I like what this thread is becoming.

rev, i thought of starting that thread actually

ha, and now it is

that daddy song is pretty 0_o/;_;/XD

That Dan Black thing is horrible, but in a way that is totally ignorable unless it goes GaGa

too lazy to type thoughts out again so i'm just gonna c/p from an IM:

i don't even think it sounds all that bad really, like the beat would be cool if it wasn't like UMBRELLA DRUMS HEY NOW
but like
"hypnotize" lyrics really?
i mean
it's like, you have chosen to be the hood internet, as a person

the worst part is that he probably thinks that people that hate what he's doing are just being boring rap snobs about it, when in fact people hate what he's doing because it's fucking garbage.

― Neotropical pygmy squirrel, Tuesday, March 31, 2009 6:12 PM Bookmark

otm

as for creature like, the music is like whatever obv universal is trying to sign an mgmt, on the whole tho it really makes me feel like i don't understand the human life form because like how do those ppl exist. i wonder like if i met those ppl what would we talk about? how would we connect like, they make me feel alien, like there are ppl who 'get' them and finance them, how can i 'get' any of those ppl. how can we be of the same race? how can we inhabit the same planet? slow burn

lol "how can we be of the same race" = how can we be of the life form i guess

"And Biggie was so much more than what they put him out to be in that movie. And to be honest with you, I know for a fact he's not happy. He's not satisfied at all. At all. And regardless of the fact, everybody who is involved in this movie, he has love for. Everybody. But at the end of the day, he knows who's who and what's what. Believe that. And let me tell you something, the way he's feeling is going to come out later."

^^really hope lil' kim was right

I don't really think the music in that Creature song is terrible, it's just the vocals and most of all those gawdammed clueless, condescending, I-Wish-I-a-Punk-Rocker-With-Flowers-in-My-Adidas lyrics that have me writing my congressman to seal the border with Canada.

notorious was such an amazing travesty

but the thing is if biggie was so displeased by notorious that he appeared to kim in a dream to let his feelings be known, imagine how much worse dan black would've made him feel

the actual worst thing is that dan black a) was signed, b) is being promoted, c) appears to have fans - somewhere out there are people who genuinely believe in the artistic merit of 'hypntz'

yeah that really is the worst - i don't really blame anyone for getting signed anymore like, atm if i was an a&r i would sign osama bin laden to a deal if it meant my ass was getting dollarz, it's really more that people are willing to accept shit like that into their lives. really tho it just shows how low the bar has dropped for what 18-24 year olds consider 'clever'.

yeah you just know this comes with a whole load of patting-oneself-on-the-back :(

I see that there are already some recurring themes for the year in terrible songs:

But I think that this is actually the worst song I've heard yet this year, including the ones in this thread, because part of what makes it so horrible is how humorless and stodgy it is. I still appreciate a hugely embarrassingly failed joke more than someone compelling me to have fun without being fun AT ALL.

I never noticed in that 3OH!3 (also worst band name of the year so far?) song that the guy won't even commit to his douchebaggery, gives a fake sort of "OH MY GOD AM I REALLY SAYING THIS?" look at "shush girl, shut your lips, do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips."

that Dan Black vid sounds like Collective Soul
You mean Primitive Radio Gods? It sounds kind of like "Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth"... I can't click on the other videos; I keep getting "Embedding disabled by request" messages.

Hey you know what this world needs? More Wonky Pop:

I never noticed in that 3OH!3 (also worst band name of the year so far?) song that the guy won't even commit to his douchebaggery, gives a fake sort of "OH MY GOD AM I REALLY SAYING THIS?" look at "shush girl, shut your lips, do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips."

― dabug, Wednesday, April 1, 2009 8:07 AM (37 minutes ago) Bookmark

i think i want to kill this guy more than the other guy now

"shush girl, shut your lips, do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips"

i can't believe this is a lyric. and the way he REPEATS IT TWICE. i am in utter disbelief here. seriously my face is basically like this right now:

http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/2009/03/03/dawson-crying.edt.JPG

3OH!3 is what I picture when I'm looking at the personals and see the phrase "str8 acting".

Jesus, just looking at the tracklist for the 3OH!3 album is depressing:

1. "Tapp" - 1:02
2. "Punkbitch" - 3:51
3. "Don't Trust Me" - 3:13
4. "Chokechain" - 3:32
5. "I'm Not Your Boyfriend Baby" - 3:45
6. "I Can't Do It Alone" - 3:01
7. "Starstrukk" - 3:05
8. "Richman" - 3:20
9. "Photofinnish" - 3:56
10. "Still Around" - 3:08
11. "Holler Til You Pass Out" - 4:11
12. "Colorado Sunrise" - 3:23

Thanks so much for fixing typo, mystery mod!

this is what i said about the 30H!3 song in the pop 09 thread

wow heaven is cool (J0rdan S.) wrote this on thread rolling pop in 2009 thread on board I Love Music on Mar 12, 2009

eh i think it's alright, i kind of hate the idea of emo bands throwing stock synth lines into all their songs, but i can't deny that it works really well when the chorus opens up. it's basically just a teenpop song, and, like metro station, it would sound better if miley cyrus was singing it. to me it sounds like what clarkson/max martin etc trying to do with "my life would suck without you" except that song just seems so belabored to me, where as "don't trust me" is just some kids with one good idea (a chorus). i wasn't exactly pining for a fake metro station but this song turned out to be pretty decent, but it's not like i want a fake 3OH!3, or any more real 3OH!3 for that matter

i dont even get the hellen keller line and if lil wayne made a hellen keller joke (he probably has?) no one would bat an eye so w/e w/e

where were all you fuckin guys when i was raging against spank rock 3-4 years ago

I never noticed in that 3OH!3 (also worst band name of the year so far?) song that the guy won't even commit to his douchebaggery, gives a fake sort of "OH MY GOD AM I REALLY SAYING THIS?" look at "shush girl, shut your lips, do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips."

― dabug, Wednesday, April 1, 2009 8:07 AM (37 minutes ago) Bookmark

i think i want to kill this guy more than the other guy now

^^^^^^^^^^^ It's like, if I saw this guy on the street, I could just happily punch him right in the cock and not even break my stride.

ya know, i think it would hurt way worse to get punched in the nose tbh

yeah, but a good cockpunch carries a certain humiliation factor for the punchee that the nose just doesn't accomplish.

tbh more than anything else i am grateful for all these really goofy-looking keffiyah/BAPE/shutter shades-wearing indie dance dudes for making trends that were stupid to begin with look lame and played out even faster than they'd become otherwise. the cycle is speeding up to the point that eventually maybe a healthy degree of shame and inhibition will return to the way music people wear clothes sometime in the foreseeable future.

"Colorado Sunrise" !

"Indie electro": the worst genre ever?

I've already been on record as liking "Don't Trust Me" well enough.

truly an abomination. it was on the radio when i was riding on the bus with friends and a girl asked me "hey kev why arent you singing this one with us, you sang all the rest?" i didnt have the heart to tell her that i would sooner jump out of the bus than sing it, so i just pretended i didnt know it.

their new single "starstrukk" is really bad too. i don't really understand purposefully misogynistic emo

Cause I just set them up, just set them up, just set them up to knock them down
Cause I just set them up, just set them up, just set them up to knock them down
I think I should know how to make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints out,now
L-O-V-E's just another word I never learned to pronounce

is this satire? i don't get it - if it is, then their fans obv don't get it, as evidenced by this lmao fan video which is some 15 year old singing to the song and mugging for the camera with colored strobe effects but he's wearing an aeropostale hoodie so it's like STROBING ORANGE AEROPOSTALE

anyway this is awful, way worse than the other single which is actually good. this is one of the most sonically ugly songs i've ever heard maybe

I don't mean to get all huffy here about the vileness of 3OH3 or whatever, but . . . . Damn. Why the hatred of women? Since when is hatred and contempt for females a sentiment that belongs in faggy electro?
I mean, the only redeeming thing about the whole shortlived "indie electro" thang was how gay gay screamingly buttfuckingly GAY it all was . . . and if that is taken over by straight boys who use lame lite electro and faux-Justice as their platform upon which to basically revisit the same old contempt for girls that has been the macho stance of heterosexist entitlement since, oh, "Under My Thumb" on . . . well, jeeze. Is nothing sacred? Can't a faggot ghetto stay a faggot ghetto for ONCE? Now the jocks are wearing pink and flouncing their bangs around to fake Newcleus beats and fake Boys NOize synths? Really?

See, last time I posted to ILM regularly, there weren't YouTube embeds of uttercrap. But at least now I know the exact nature of the uttercrap in question.

Thanks...I...think...?

i hate everything

http://www.clintonsband.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/3oh3promo.jpg

For the record, there's stuff I dislike a lot more than 3OH!3 -- I said something elsewhere about how I wouldn't bat an eyelash at any of what they're saying if it wasn't being said by someone I could react self-righteously to so easily. (I mean, it also helps for Lil' Wayne or whoever to actually be funny -- "Don't Trust Me" isn't for basic comedy 101 reasons, like if you're going to do the joke, at least sell the stupid thing.) It's just a lot easier to take the moral high ground to Helen Keller lyrics in a dorky white vegetarian guy's Metro Station song than it would be just about anywhere else, not just rap. I found it harder to care about obvious misogyny moves in, like, Panic! At the Disco (who I genuinely like most of the time), too. I guess what I'm saying is, the Metro Station album is actually pretty good, and the six-degrees game to actual teenpop people is really easy.

Anyway, they even screwed up the Helen Keller joke -- she's not MUTE. Didn't they see "The Miracle Worker"?

Some more Asher Roth.

that page loaded just enough for the title to flash up and then my finger had a pavlovian reflex to the back key

"lark on my go kart" has like 2 second flashes of talent, but on the whole it's so uninteresting and misguided. i keep falling back on the line "razor ramon flow/ so sharp" (i think that's it) which i think asher thinks is clever, but razor ramon is a human, not a razor, and therefore he isn't "sharp", so if you think about it the whole thing falls apart. for comparison, take lil wayne, whose style i think "lark on my go kart" is largely modeled after, and the line "peyton manning flow/ i just go no huddle". the lines are identically structured but wayne's not only makes sense but it's a mission statement - his flow, like no huddle offense, is quick, unexpected, improvised. asher just name drops without much thinking behind what he's saying.

what deej wrote for pfork today is prescient as well

To be fair, he can flow (that's what biting Eminem's style will do) but content-wise, it's... nothing. All sandpaper-smooth edges, corny blowjob jokes, and pointless pop culture references, like MF Doom's talentless hack stepchild. I can name a hundred better underground hip-hop records from my college years, some that are edgier, some that are smarter, some that are funnier, and some that are all of the above (who remember Louis Logic?). All of them are more interesting. Rap does not get less entertaining than this guy, and I don't know why they are trying to market him to real rap heads instead of throwing him in with Flobot's fanbase, but it's got me mourning the heyday of the Bloodhound Gang. It's not like this is solely a racial issue; the marketing of subpar hip-hop (XXL "Freshman Ten," I'm looking at you) has been embarrassing for a number of overrated, internet-bubble, no-audience-having fashion-plate MCs of all races. Still, this guy's only angle so far is his privilege. At least "I Love College" acknowledged it.

damn

spent this lunchtime being plied with booze by asher roth's pr - the actual words "i don't like asher roth, like, at all" were not enough to stop him promising to send me the album :(

Weird coincidence...didn't even realize this was "official."

"it's got me mourning the heyday of the Bloodhound Gang."

Yeah, if Asher does anything close to "Bad Touch" I'll reconsider, I suppose, but he doesn't really seem capable of it. For one thing, he seems to think he's actually a rapper and not a novelty act, which is one reason his "jokes" don't make a lot of sense...he's more concerned with cramming in rhymes than calculating a punchline. If he just went straight novelty this would probably be less of an issue...I mean one thing that is funny about "I Love College" is how totally stilted and vague it is. The first thing it brings to mind is Just 2 Guyz -- he even sounds like them in parts.

'Course the fact that he's cramming in rhymes at the expense of punchlines just says that he's a shitty comedian and a shitty rapper.

spent this lunchtime being plied with booze by asher roth's pr

Free booze and a copy of an album that you'll have about a three-week window to sell to someone willing to actually pay money for it...times are tough.

haha Lonely Island comparison is spot on -- we like college and we don't care who knows! bong hits! nudity! golf!

he's like those dudes who did "shaniqua dont live here no mo"

i remember the first time i saw Little T & One Track Mike on TRL, i was like this is some corny shit, i bet it'll sell 3 mil, because it reminded me so much of the first time i saw "My Name Is" on TRL like a year or two earlier.

i beat y'all to the lonely island comparisons by abut two weeks ;-)

Asher Roth -- "I Love College"

Normally, something falling so far back on hackneyed college references wouldn't merit anything besides ambivalence, let alone actual hatred, but we feel like we need to address "I Love College." If you're unfamiliar, the song, now in the top 20 of the Billboard Hot 100, is Roth's love letter to all those crazy things that happen every weekend here at crazy college: naked beer pong tournaments, passing out and waking up at 3 p.m. (edgy!), drawing on your friends' faces, getting the munchies (insane!) and, uh, chugging. The whole thing would scan as laughably banal if it weren't for the fact that Roth is trying to pass himself off as subversive, lazily rapping about only learning about party "rules" at school and reciting a quote -- "Time isn't wasted when you're getting wasted" -- that would get an eye roll even from dudes who paint beer pong tables to look like basketball courts.

But the worst thing about "I Love College" is that in his rush of blog fame, Roth has posited himself as a real rapper, imploring critics and fans to separate him from ironic white rappers and Eminem alike. Yet here he is with his deplorable song about playing beer pong at college, an activity that is such a symbol of white privilege that it's almost worth it to make sure that the song isn't a Lonely Island viral marketing scheme. Oh, and Asher: "I am champion at beer pong/Allen Iverson, Hakeem Olajuwon?" Don't worry, homie, we won't be confusing you with Em any time soon.

well i was big upping the comparison to the Just 2 Guyz/We Like Sportz characters specifically, but yeah

lol i didn't know that little t became that dude "tim fite". small world

woah, i just went over to pfork to check deej's thing, and it seems as though i am out of touch (or just never read the thing) because i didn't know about the redesign?

anyway, asher had one good track, like, ages ago. might have been 'the lounge' or something to that degree? i like that track. everything else seemed garbage to me.

lol @

• the internet
• youth culture
• capitalism
• music
• lyfe

i love

• college
• beer pong

i am

• white btw

max you might wanna be careful laughing at lyfe, dude's got weapons charges

http://lawofhollywoodland.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/lyfe-jennings-268-192.jpg

also even unarmed he might el kabong you with his guitar

tbh i jammed "sex" a couple times

or whatever that one single was called

his song w/ fantasia is my shit, no frontin

3Oh!3 is clearly a product of Satan.

Correct.

I don't mean to get all huffy here about the vileness of 3OH3 or whatever, but . . . . Damn. Why the hatred of women? Since when is hatred and contempt for females a sentiment that belongs in faggy electro?
I mean, the only redeeming thing about the whole shortlived "indie electro" thang was how gay gay screamingly buttfuckingly GAY it all was . . . and if that is taken over by straight boys who use lame lite electro and faux-Justice as their platform upon which to basically revisit the same old contempt for girls that has been the macho stance of heterosexist entitlement since, oh, "Under My Thumb" on . . . well, jeeze. Is nothing sacred? Can't a faggot ghetto stay a faggot ghetto for ONCE? Now the jocks are wearing pink and flouncing their bangs around to fake Newcleus beats and fake Boys NOize synths? Really?

― Neotropical pygmy squirrel, Thursday, April 2, 2009 12:45 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Beyond being sexist, i think its kind of minstrel show too. I honestly don't gave a problem with the IDEA of indie-emo guys like 30h3 or Brokencyde putting their emo chocolate in the hip-hop/electro peanut butter or whatever. Its the fact that the only thing these guys understand from hip-hop culture is "This can legitimize my urge to party, drink booze, be obsessed with clothes and be mean to women." They took all the negative stereotypes of hip-hop and wrapped them in a keffiyeh soaked in white privelege.

I mean with the emotional depths that emo and rap can both plumb lyrically, its sad that they can't see the parallel, or or too busy drinking to care

this is getting heavy rotation in canada at the moment:

ok now i was not prepared for dan black when i opened this thread.
im practically frothing at the mouth with rage....nanoseconds away from smashing my computer. oh god help me it burns

The changed verses are totally unnecessary, but I have no problem with "Africa" as autotuned-up digital dancehall.

well "africa" isn't sacred or anything, but from what i can tell, the sample seems completely irrelevant to the song aside from the fact that they're a built-in hook.

*it has

not "they're"

that line of thought probably isn't going to work on me. your talking to a guy who loves 97-era Puff Daddy

I'm surprised it took this long for "Africa" to get that kind of treatment.

I like this cover of "Africa" better.

didn't realize this was Lady Gaga until I googled it, but good god this is cringeworthy

i like that song okay but it continues the trend of her singles just having one horrible, reprehensible moment - the bridge on "just dance", the "po-po-po-po-po-poker face" part in "poker face" and now the use of the term "disco stick"

she really can't get out of her own way is the problem

her talents as a writer are blatantly obvious i think but then she brings her personality and schtick to the table and it's just way too much - and it's really misguided attempts at subversiveness too - i appreciate it in theory but "i wanna take a ride on your disc stick" isn't edgy it's embarrassing

disco* obv

"disco stick" makes me feel like homosexuals everywhere should consider their intelligences insulted

isn't that the entire premise of gaga?

lol

yeah, basically, but I don't think she was this blatant about it before

her next album's lead single is going to be called "fag hag" isn't it

lawl

jordan all over it

if the white stripes arent making white stripes songs then no one should be

I'll speak up as (more than likely) the sole defender of that Cage the Elephant song, I like it. The lyrics are beyond stupid, but theres something about the stomp and swagger that grabs me every time I hear it.

those 3oh!3 songs are oof. sad, really ... was hoping after hearing "Holler Til You Pass Out" that they were just going to keep going ahead with making the Boulder CO version of Crunk Juice. it would fit them much better, i think

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GB1qVJVvjFA

it's a fucking flashmob as a music video

I have nothing new to add here other than 3OH!3 is fucking terrible.

Wow, until I heard the Dolly Rockers, I thought accents like that were all Americans badly copping affectations! Cor blimey, it's like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins, only real!

Since you guys brought 3OH!3 back up, I wanted to point out that I think there's a precedent for their crapulous appropriation of the lowest-common-denominator aspects of hip hop mixed with "scene" "rocker" shit in Hollywood Undead. I remember a hardcore scene kid friend of mine who started liking them when he moved to LA like 4 years ago, and apparently they're really big now, here's a video of theirs from this year. Gross. Here they are adding some fake cholo steez into the mix:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BvjpkHzpM0

Hollywood Undead are hilarious -- but yeah they actually chart on rock stations now, which is kinda scary

god, Rev, you reminded me about that Zo and Tigallo album. so good.

anyway, i think that y'all are really underestimating the stupidity of most homosexuals and most people in general. "Disco Stick" is merely playing into everything that mainstream gay culture is all about.

OMG that Hollywood Undead track made me want to cry

h8 gay people

On the 3OH!3 tip, this is what's at #3 on the NZ charts and looks like it'll knock Keri Hilson from the top spot next week:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njapR5ZGXQs

"The paint makes it a bit artier," says Kids of 88 singer Sam McCarthy. "It's not like they get water thrown on them and their clothes start going see through.

"And we used dancers as opposed to hot promo girls who can't really dance. It's more like you can focus on the paint hitting them and the movement which is a lot more interesting."

the imagery there is so subtle

Oh good, 3OH!3 and La Roux rolled into one convenient package!

AAARGH THIS SONG NEEDS TO SHUT UP AND FUCK OFF.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vyfc10qDcR4

i think that song is pretty awesome - well, the wallpaper remix that got posted on pfork at least - i think the vocal inflections are pretty great

also it's a funny concept - if that thing was a lonely island song it would be on everyone's facebook status and twitter updates

yeah i hate the lonely island too, for much the same reasons

i just hate comedy basically

can't say im surprised ;-)

Maybe it's just me, but the Kids of 88 vid reminded me of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnTUSgHzZx0

The Kids of 88 clip is pretty indefensible. And depressing.

Haha, I got totally fed up one night and started a thread just for that Kids Of 88 song cuz it's (I think in or near its entirety) in this C4 promo that plays during every single commerical break.

Das Racist is an A++ band name.

are we aware of millionaires? we need to be

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZEWU9VG4TY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-osL8q4Ao3w

what the fuck is this

omg xpost

safijofdjvbcxhfiodfugfrusnldfzl;gdrsg

holy shit but wait til you hear the song!

ugh, i waited for the chorus before i shut it off. i just couldn't listen anymore.

i'm assuming the valley girl sound of their voices is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, but it doesn't make the song any less annoying.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFuSLt5D3Rs

Wow. Not sure where to start with that one.

Maybe with the matching outfits? or the very unnatural spread eagle guitar playing? An d keyboards? really?

i love when they go from death metal (or whatever it is called) to electro towards the end.

Bee OK I sb you

some of the best things are stolen:

http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/844/attackgif.gif

i watched the great majority of that video thinking "this is generic metalcore, apart from the crab stance why would anyone post this?" until it went "dance" and autotune.

there's a whole thread for attack attack!

i was going wtf at the millionaires a year ago!

brokeNCYDE!!!!!!!!!!!

they got a new song now

I used to say "know your enemy." After this thread I sez "Ignorance was bliss."

if Dan Black tours America and survives, I will have completely lost faith in my country

This may literally be the worst song I've ever heard in my life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7eyqCQYBGY

From the Wal-Mart Forrest Gump Greeting Card psychology

to the Kidz Bop breakdown at the end

to the late-90s sub-ScapegoatWax beat

to the saccharine aftertaste that makes Daniel Powter seem deep

I honestly don't think I've been so physically revulsed by a song

I want to form a committee to stop it

they're the twilight author's favorite band!

i'm more confused by the guy's "singing" voice than anything

This song should be a litmus test for being allowed to listen to music.

gluh muh kuuuh zenk uhhh
BLAALALALALALALA meeez aahh luhh yuhhhh
brains
uh

Those lyrics really deserved to be front-and-center in that "video."

as someone who's been singing underwear songs with 6 year olds for the past two days - this isn't a real song, is it? ive never heard of "blue october" so i genuinely don't know. yeah, it's awful

I kind of like the Millionaires track. Yes, it's annoying as hell but in interesting ways. Also the second verse is pretty amazing. No?

haha wow. Blue October's first 2 singles were the kind of blandly shitty "Hate Me" and the almost actually awesome "Into The Ocean" but this is just next level terrible. it sounds like an Eels cover.

This may literally be the worst song I've ever heard in my life

― Trayce Lorenz (Whiney G. Weingarten), Tuesday, July 7, 2009 7:32 PM

Frankly I'm afraid to even click on that.

Defend the Indefensible: Blue October, "Hate Me"

i think blue october is a irl deal breaker - there are ppl who like them

Millionaires and Attack Attack are both playing the Warped Tour this summer. Along with... Flipper and FEAR. Gotta wonder how the crowds are at these things.

brokeNCYDE too!

Probably diverse

oh lord!

"CAUSE IT WILL GET HARD
REMEMBER LIFE'S LIKE A PENIZ"

dude wtf with flipper playing warped tour

OMG VINTAGE PUNK BAND ON FESTIVAL THAT HAS LIKE FIVE VINTAGE PUNK BANDS PLAY EVERY YEAR! STOP THE PRESSES!

wow that blue october song starts bad and keeps finding new ways to get worse. all the way to the inevitable chorus of chanting children.

flipper is different. and yes omg

lets just agree that blue october sucks

seriously, if someone tells me they like Blue October, I might just walk away from the conversation, as this person would be incapable of telling me anything I can use in life

as they have completely failed at it

i can understand what makes a person a juggalo or a parrothead or a LMFAOnatic or whatever. but i couldn't imagine the sheltered Wal-Mart eeyore-T-shirt existence that would make someone think this song was anything but diarrhea pressed to plastic

you're getting much too upset over this, whiney. some things.... man is not meant to fully comprehend.

everything else i've heard by them is awful but i still say this song is dope:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yG8erLdamPI

LOIFS LOIK A JUMP ROPE!

pressed to plastic

These sorts of songs are meant to play softy from a small clock radio at the front desk of the office, as the administrative assistant gets frustrated with Excel, rather than exist in any physical format.

Give Whiney enough jump rope, and he'll hang himself.

Ha, I totally <3 that Millionaires song.

you guys do realize that the song totally sucks on an aesthetic level and you don't need to bring your "lol office workers" and "lol walmart" hangups to it right

UP DOWN
UP DOWN
UP DOWN
UP DOWN YEAH
IT WILL GET HARD 'CUZ IT WILL GET HARD

this is totally rofflesome

It's like the Randy Newman parody from the Y2K episode of Family Guy.

HatchetMarie (1 day ago) Show Hide

i wanted to point out this song was made for his daughter.

gross

child abuse

everything else i've heard by them is awful but i still say this song is dope

hahaha I thought the "Youtube promos" music was the beat for the actual song and I was about to be all "WTF HAPPENED HERE"

has this been posted yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltPxz4PinDA

has this been posted yet?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdz4ejmB17Y

that Kid British track is more offensive in its liberal sampling than offensive in an appalling-i-wanna-vomvom sort of way.

how about https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-7T__ramb0 ?

How come rap fans don't elevate stuff like that to genius like indie rock ppl do Bl4nk D0gs or whatever

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyswNeoyj2E

the kid cudi/kanye west/common song is really one of the worst songs of 2009 easily. whose idea was it to bank the guy's v important follow up single on a song that's faded out of the limelight and then have have them singing parts of another song that everyone has long been sick of

"i poke her face" is horrible too

― sans crit (J0rdan S.), Tuesday, 21 April 2009 02:33 (8 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

rong dude! i mean yeah it's a shame it took cudi & a-trak to revive the ghost of classic ye but otherwise song is funny as fuck

― r|t|c, Tuesday, April 21, 2009 6:28 AM (2 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^ i've kinda come around to rtc's opinion on this -- corny sex jokes over dusty breakbeats and vocal samples make it like a throwback to '03 kanye mixtape tracks, which at their worst are still so much better than whatever the fuck else he's doing these days -- but yeah as a career move and follow-up to a breakthrough it's kind of a headscratcher.

also "damn cudi already said it/ a poker face book, i already read it" is pretty funny if you just pretend it's all a parody of awful Common couplets

yeah i was going to say that i admire the way he treats the sample but that's his bread and butter so really not all that impressive. also the verses: cudi's is wholly unimpressive so much so that it really makes me wonder what anyone sees in him as a rapper, kanye's is 0/10 stfu cloying cleverness and common's is just so nu-common, name dropping "blame it" and "for the love of ray-j" in ways that are barely sensical.

just all in all i think the thing is so creatively bankrupt. how it moved from random mixtape track to official single is beyond me.

like, "day n nite" is something like two years old and yet this guy didn't have any other song between now and then that could be pushed as a single so they had to go w/ this thing that was obviously conceived, produced, written and recorded in 2 hours max?

i don't even remember anything about KC's verse, and i can quote the other 2 verses to some extent -- the guy is really a blank slate, i'm not even sure anyone's defending him as an MC at this point (although there are people that like him "as an artist" or just assume G.O.O.D. will assemble a nice album for him)

it probably moved from mixtape track to single because it was the only song he had in the can w/ his more famous labelmates at the moment that they needed a single, and plus kanye seems to be banking hard on lady gaga being a big deal

xpost

yeah it's pretty funny how often that happens though --- like how long it'll take Maino to follow-up "Hi Hater," or how Ross didn't have anything of note to ride the wave of "Hustlin'" with for a long time. i mean you can ride a breakthrough single for 6-9 months at least before there's really a need for a 2nd song, you'd think they'd be working constantly to get the right song in place.

that's one thing about drake is that he's followed "best i ever had" with "every girl" and "successful" which is shockingly smart career management considering how often things get fucked up by rap & r&b majors. i guess it also speaks to the guy's ability that he had a few hits on some random mixtape (as opposed to cudi or asher)

well "every girl" really broke just ahead of or simultaneously w/ "best" -- but yeah having more than one song out at the same time was fortunate and/or smart, you really can't sell records with one song anymore

I really like that Kid British track, but then I love Our House. *shrug*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWTdh8eM_aY

fucking youtubers with record deals

2009 is truly a remarkable year for shit music.

I really feel like Cudi is a guy who managed to luck into one amazing melody and may not posess a speck of musical talent beyond that. Almost feel sorry for dude.

i'm not gonna argue the point too much since you like the song and i don't and that's that, but "amazing melody"? c'mon man.

i dunno, it might just be some exaggerated diamond in the rough type shit considering what a mess the rest of that song and his career are. i was definitely really pleasantly surprised when i heard that hook, it so outclasses anything else he's associated with imo

It is. The reason "Day N Night" works in spite of only having one melody to the whole damn thing is that the one melody is so strong, catchy, and unique that you can pin a whole song on it and it alone. I'm sure I've had it stuck in my head five times more than anything else this year. I was just walking around humming it this morning in fact, after probably not hearing it in at least a couple weeks. I think the swing to it is a large part of what makes it stand out.

xp

kev, which song?

whoaaa let me take what i just said back...thought we were talking about drake. need to sleep

lol xp

what the hell is that video?? the real jesse mccartney is doing just fine!!

or is he more of a post-jim jonsin aaron carter?

why is the music industry surprised it is dead?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAw9axFwzvU

kind of impressive how he always manages to find a new low

holy shit that is really bad

he has got to have one of the most unpleasant singing voices of all time

Wow, my good friend (who generally has v good taste in music) claims this is the best album of the year. o_O

there's a pretty unsettling number of people who are claiming that about Relapse.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7JXjcW9xjs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQgjpkbZ2AU

jus sayin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&v=_WUcKgOav0c

what the

why didnt that embed automatically?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WUcKgOav0c

weird, I think it's the "gl=GB" in the URL

Enjoy the lyrics

Punch 'em in the dick! Punch 'em in the dick!
Motherfuckers talk shit -- Punch 'em the dick!

Yo! Look at that chump! See the way that he struts?
Don't kick him in the rump, go nuts on his nuts!
Just pop a squat, start lettin' off the shots
Like knock-knock-knock, just cold-cocked his cock!
To all the cock-knockers, nut-crackers, ball breakers,
Peter-beaters, keep on boxin them baby-makers
With a sock to the jock, better make that a double
Just a couple rounds of knuckles beneath the buckle & he'll buckle!
If you're in trouble, give him some urine trouble,
Hand him his balls and tell him, "Better learn to juggle!"
Turn his pebbles into rubble, make him wonder what mighta been
Make it so the south will never rise again!
Now every man claims to be the toughest and the meanest
But watch your crotch cuz soon the losers will be the wieners
And the winners in all the gladiator arenas
Are always the ones who go straight for the penis!

Chorus

I'll give your willy a welt like you aint never felt,
Soon as I've knelt, I'ma pelt ya below the belt
Like BANG! Bust 'em in the wang like it aint no thang
Now you really can't hang!
But you ain't gotta be a dude, shit I'll dick-punch a chick
Cuz I don't discriminate when I punch em in the dick!
Whether Suzy Homemaker or a floozy home-wrecker
I'ma deck 'er in the pecker motherfecker!
It could be yo' mama, better be no drama,
You could be the Dalai Lama, I'ma still put it on ya
With a right, left, right, left - you're dick-punched!
Then you say, "Goddamn my shit's crunched!"
Scrotum? Hell it damn near killed him!
I don't care if you live in Bodom, man, forget about children!
You ain't gotta know Kung-Fu to bust some ninja shit
Fuck Sun Tzu, you wanna learn the art of war?
Just punch em in the dick!
Chorus

We got a brand new dance, it's called, "Punch his
ass right in the dick." (x2)

Any o' you snotty kids be talkin' shit,
I'ma drop a fist on your naughty bits
I got punches a plentiful, you bet yer rear end it'll
Sting when I start swingin' on ya genitals,
Cuz then it'll swell up, all outta proportion,
Lookin' like an eggplant forced in through your foreskin
Nevermind abortion, forget vasectomy,
I got yer birth control: POW! Nut check, homey!
Yo, I'll punch God in the dick, I'll punch Mary in the dick
I'll punch Jesus Christ in the dick
I'll punch Cheney in the dick, I'll punch Powell in his colon,
I'll punch George in his bush, I'll punch Condoleeza Rice in the dick!!!

Chorus

Fitna punch 'em in the dick
Watch me punch 'em in the dick
Love to punch 'em in the dick
Born to punch 'em in the dick
Forever punch 'em in the dick
Sucker punch 'em in the dick
Fruit punch 'em in the dick
Hawaiian punch 'em in the motherfuckin' DICK!

About a hundred new usernames will come from those

i will not be listening to anything called "punch him in the dick"

I... this... I mean...

wait

We got a brand new dance, it's called, "Punch his
ass right in the dick."

Yo, I'll punch God in the dick, I'll punch Mary in the dick
I'll punch Jesus Christ in the dick
I'll punch Cheney in the dick, I'll punch Powell in his colon,
I'll punch George in his bush, I'll punch Condoleeza Rice in the dick!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPHU5gA8oP8

the musical cockpunching knowledge of some dude is deep and impressive

That was totally worth five minutes of my time.

this reminds me of "HPNTZ" except I may actually hate it more:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flX509t4qHQ

initially i was disappointed this wasn't a robbie williams cover but by 2:00 omgwtflol this is sooooo much better than that.

thank you, ciroc!

"Angles" is good up until the second the autotune comes in.

prefer curves to angles

If Diddy is going to do Kanye's autotuned-Phil Collins thing except actually get it right, I can dig that.

well, "Last Night" >>>>> 808s, but seriously that "Where I'm From" beatjack is fucking horrible

Getting mad at Diddy for doing a beatjack at this point is kinda 1990-and-late

just saying man, that's one of my favorite beats ever and what he did to it is more awful that anything i could've imagined him doing

Aight, I can see that. I've always liked "Where I'm From" but never had any special attachment to that, so I wouldn't really read any sacrilege into it the way you would.

that it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyQ----YaoY

In all honesty, nothing on this thread is as offensive as this, due to the fact that I currently hear this song a couple times a week whereas I've only accidentally heard HYPNTZ once outside this thread:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x19NZlo9Qr4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr9AFvhxs24

song away as in 'get that song away' amirite

id never heard it before until you posted it

huh

so a pox on you

Sorry man. Been spending too much time at my mums/grandads and they both have fucking radio2 on all the time; also think it's been used as an advert (or have at least heard on the telly a couple times). It's fucking ghastly and since I had to - eurgh - stuck in my head earlier, I had to post it here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxGMU1slnwo

alright so that "one time" song isn't really bad at all, it's just the video that does it in. the visual of that kid singing the song makes its brokenCYDE-meets-aaron carter vibe unbearable - that and the grinding 12 year old girls

stfu dream stan :)

post very much in character, certified dream-hater

i like lots of his songs and ER is one of my fav albums of the year! but jeez there's gotta be a limit.

my post should have had a smiley face after it too, but i didnt want to internet make out with you

Obvious pick but it needs to be on the thread anyway:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loeQBGBB_98

I was gonna post some videos but they're all for charting songs which means there are prolly people on here who like them..

Jadakiss “Who’s Real”
Britney Spears “3”
Ke$ha “TiK ToK”
Pitbull “I Know You Want Me”
Flo Rida “Right Round”
Kristina Debarge “Goodbye”
Asher Roth “I Love College”
Seether “Careless Whisper”

These will all be in my personal worst list for this year and I felt they were all decently appalling for one reason or another.

Actually in this one case, fuck it.. this is pure vomit..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7P80U3crTng

"tik tok" definitely merits a spot here. i mean i really like trashy famewhore songs about getting wasted but it's so incompetent.

and yet it is a hit! how did that happen.

the Pitbull song is one of my top 5 for the year

ok "3" can be removed from my list.. it's not "Worst of the year" .. it's just really dumb.

i dunno, maybe this is too boring and lolindie for the thread, but that fucking "these girls fall like dominoes" song, jesus christ.

I can't load the full thread, has anyone brought up the "You're a hot mess and I'm lovin' it hell yes" song? Jesus God does that grate on the ears.

thanks to this thread I've now listened to three Blue October songs, this is pretty much the worst thing ILM has ever done to me.

Brazilian band U.K. makes video inspired by Twilight saga. Emo meets Brokencyde

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABOWYClmt8s

Emo meets Brokencyde

That's a far stretch!

hahahaha @ 1:50.

this isn't from this year but what. the. fuck

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuUphbx-Tu0

"Juicy" came on a playlist last night when I was smoking weed and I thought "wait a minute wasn't there some terrible Biggie cover from five years ago" and I googled and googled and nothing came up until I literally googled "terrible cover of hypnotize by an english dude" and there it is! It was SO LONG ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7JXjcW9xjs

In retrospect this is a perfect musical death rattle for "the 2000s"