I WANT TO BE A BUMPER WALKER - Eurovision 2009, Semi-Final #1, Tuesday 12th May

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It's ba-ack... Votez por dein favourite, takk.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
02. IRELAND - Sinead Mulvey & Black Daisy, "Et cetera" 3
15. MOLDOVA - Nelly Ciobanu, "Hora din Moldova" 1
17. UKRAINE - Svetlana Loboda, "Be my Valentine" 1
12. AZERBAIJAN - AySel, "Always" 0
13. GREECE - Sakis Rouvas, "This is our night" 0
14. LITHUANIA - Sasha Son, "Pasiklydes zmogus" 0
01. CROATIA - Igor Cukrov, "Lijepa Tena" 0
16. ALBANIA - Kejsi Tola, "Carry me in your dreams" 0
18. ESTONIA - Urban Symphony, "Rändajad" 0
11. HUNGARY - Zoli Ádok, "Dance with me" 0
10. SLOVENIA - Quartissimo, "Love symphony" 0
09. DENMARK - Niels Brinck, "Believe again" 0
08. SLOVAKIA - Kamil Mikulčík & Nela Pocisková, "Let tmou" 0
07. CYPRUS - Christina Metaxas, "Firefly" 0
06. NORWAY - Alexander Rybak, "Fairytale" 0
05. POLAND - Lidia Kopania, "I don't wanna leave" 0
04. SERBIA - Marko Kon, "Cipela" 0
03. LATVIA - Intars Busulis, "Sastregum" 0
19. THE NETHERLANDS - De Toppers, "Shine" 0


William Bloody Swygart, Monday, 11 May 2009 07:57 (seventeen years ago)

so there are 2 semi-finals now, starting on tuesday??.. wow.

the Netherlands' entry is dreadful, i wished we just do the usual thing and send an Afro-Muslim-Dutch girl, so we can always blame our loss on racism.

Ludo, Monday, 11 May 2009 08:04 (seventeen years ago)

(maybe there were 2 semi-finals before? somehow i recall only thursday night qualification rounds)

Ludo, Monday, 11 May 2009 08:06 (seventeen years ago)

There's been two semis for at least two or three years now, I think. Certainly last year in any case.

In summary:

Croatia - this year's designated stately Balkan iceberg. Kinda pretty, kinda so-so, but obv. going through.
Ireland - female-fronted power pop, their best entry in goodness knows how long; probably on the bubble for actual qualification. They're hardly Vanilla Ninja, but given Ireland's recent history at Eurovision, this will do.
Latvia - cast-iron no-hoper about a bloke in a traffic jam who sees a girl walking over the cars and is all like WO about that.
Serbia - in contrast to a lot of this year's entries, this is the worst Serbian candidate in quite some time; a man who, based on his hair, I'm going to guess is some form of comedian makes grumble about how the women want the money and the such. Would be happy for this to miss out, but probably won't...
Poland - female ballad thing, don't think I actually heard most of it. Sounded alright enough to qualify.
Norway - and this would be your winner. Feller's smile on its own is probably enough to push them through, but the tune is cracking too, and the fiddle break is gold.
Cyprus - one of quite a few entries this year that starts off alright then proceeds to go absolutely nowhere. Singer's voice sounds very lightweight; don't see it making the final.
Slovakia - one of very few duets this year. Consists mainly of the two singers yelling at each other, which is obviously marvellous, but this is probably on the borderline with Ireland.
Denmark - the duller Denmark get, the bettter they do, and as Popjustice pointed out, this dude is basically Ronan Keating in all but name. And face. A likely qualifier.
Slovenia - They've gambled on Europe not minding that the vocals don't start until well over a minute into the song in favour of what sounds like some rather generic violining. One of those that could either go well on the night or just wind up leaving the continent scratching its collective head. Wouldn't back it.
Hungary - sounds like it's gonna be a bit special and then he starts singing, at which point it kind of shifts into adorable crapness. Probable failure, but will be nice while it lasts.
Azerbaijan - they've enlisted the help of Arash, who's popular in at least one European country but I can't remember which. Quite decent, exceedingly professional, dead cert to go through.
Greece - ugh. Second favourite, but it's seriously Greek-entry-by-numbers right down to having Sakis Rouvas do his whole "in association with Gillette" blandness up front. Would like to see it fail, but it won't. They never do.
Lithuania - rambling young piano man, feels like he has several layers to peel away, but suspect that's just cos he never opens his eyes. Ever. Borderline, erring towards no.
Moldova - mighty roaring GAZE UPON OUR COUNTRY AND TREMBLE YE MORTALS number, very hoiking and rambunctious, and probably going through on energy alone.
Ukraine - song that's almost brilliantly bombastic but oh god her voice ugh. Still, there's few countries that go for Eurovision with quite the zeal of the Kiev massive, and it's a certain qualifier.
Estonia - so many violins this evening, and here's some more, and this one's another that doesn't really capitalise on its promising opening. Better than they've been in a while, though; borderline, again, but this time erring towards yes.
The Netherlands - have basically given up now. If the UK were to send Nick Knowles as its entry, this is how it would sound. Not happening.

William Bloody Swygart, Monday, 11 May 2009 08:34 (seventeen years ago)

Er, this is actually the line-up for the second semi-final on Thursday 14th May....

mike t-diva, Monday, 11 May 2009 08:48 (seventeen years ago)

Ah. Piss. So it is. ESCtoday had it listed first for some reason...

William Bloody Swygart, Monday, 11 May 2009 08:50 (seventeen years ago)

Right, I'll get mods to nuke this and start one for ACTUAL first semi-final instead.

William Bloody Swygart, Monday, 11 May 2009 08:50 (seventeen years ago)

Aaaaanyway. Yes, fiddles are indeed Big Big Big at this year's ESC. As are podiums.

On my iPod, I'd probably pick Ireland's Vanilla Ninja/Kelly/Avril confection.

In terms of performance, Ukraine has the spectacle - bare chested hunks, a "hell machine", a drum solo on wheels, lots of "crushed by the wheels of industry" post-industrialism in the staging, fronted by an arrogant witch with a back-street collagen job, yammering on about Sexy Boms. So, what's not to like? But Moldova's plucky little Nelly and her troupe of prancing eejits win it for me on points...

mike t-diva, Monday, 11 May 2009 08:57 (seventeen years ago)

Latvia's song about the bus stop is the one that only I seem to like.

Azerbaijan's is the one that I know I'm supposed to like, but I'm just not feeling it.

The staging of the Greek entry is beyond awful. Sakis is somewhat "on the turn" age-wise, and his galumphing is starting to look a tad ungainly. Lots of thrusting "peek-a-boo" man-cleavage/midriff action, and lots of jumping off podiums on the command "FLY!", which has led to some entertaining pratfalls in rehearsal. There's a section where the podium converts into a conveyor belt, before morphing into a giant sunbed in the final moments.

mike t-diva, Monday, 11 May 2009 09:04 (seventeen years ago)

The Netherlands appear to have Amy Lame dressed as an ice-cream lady, although on closer inspection her ice-cream tray turns out to be a record deck.

Lithuania sounds like it's about to go into "We Are The Champions" on the first verse. This is a bit of a grower, actually.

Poland's rehearsal vocals have been atrocious.

Norway's winsome bloc-straddler (he's Byelorussian by birth, y'see) is so obviously going to walk this semi-final, and probably the whole contest.

mike t-diva, Monday, 11 May 2009 09:09 (seventeen years ago)

As Ed O has been pointing out to me, though, Norway are getting similar kind of hype to what Kate Ryan was getting, and we all remember what happened there - but they'll really gonna have to go some to screw up qualification, certainly in this field. (Belgium also weren't coming off the back of a fifth-place finish the previous year...)

William Bloody Swygart, Monday, 11 May 2009 09:17 (seventeen years ago)

Thing is, though: Kate "Shut That Door" Ryan turned out to be a dull, charisma-free stage performer, while Young Master Rybak has that winning winsomeness off to a tee.

mike t-diva, Monday, 11 May 2009 09:34 (seventeen years ago)

Also the light-tubes thing they did was pretty bilge.

William Bloody Swygart, Monday, 11 May 2009 09:45 (seventeen years ago)

the Dutch one really is shocking

Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Monday, 11 May 2009 09:46 (seventeen years ago)

Wait until you see the illuminated suits...

mike t-diva, Monday, 11 May 2009 09:47 (seventeen years ago)

i saw the video on youtube a few weeks back, terrifying

Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Monday, 11 May 2009 09:48 (seventeen years ago)

I'd really be surprised to see Holland entering at all next year. They've been limping along horribly in the competition for years now, and this will likely be the fifth time in a row that they've not made the final. How big is Eurovision over there?

William Bloody Swygart, Monday, 11 May 2009 09:52 (seventeen years ago)

If France had to qualify I don't think they'd get thru either. This year they've gone for some bizarre sombre jazz affair.

Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Monday, 11 May 2009 09:54 (seventeen years ago)

The UK wouldn't either, to be fair.

William Bloody Swygart, Monday, 11 May 2009 09:59 (seventeen years ago)

xpost: Well, THE big ESC preview event was held in Amsterdam this year: they had 21 of this year's acts performing (although weirdly, NOT De Wallopers), plus an open-topped bus parade through The Hague, if you please. Naturally, I was in attendance: the 2000+ crowd was a good 98% gay male, so perhaps ESC enjoys a more "selective" audience in the Netherlands. They had a text vote and Ukraine won - followed by Spain and Malta.

Patricia Kaas's French entry is class in a glass - it's Barry, it's Brel, it's yer proper old-school chanson, and she delivers it superbly. This is where the re-introduction of the juries (finals only, semis are still all televote) could make things very interesting...

mike t-diva, Monday, 11 May 2009 10:00 (seventeen years ago)

(xp - albeit that this year I think we may nudge the top 10 in a Brian Kennedy-tastic sort of way)

William Bloody Swygart, Monday, 11 May 2009 10:00 (seventeen years ago)

"Our" Jade won the ESC poll on MTV Russia, I'll have you know! I keep revising my predictions upwards; she and Patricia Kaas certainly have the strongest on-stage singing voices.

mike t-diva, Monday, 11 May 2009 10:06 (seventeen years ago)

if 'My Time' actually finishes top 5 i'll be even more baffled than usual and put it all down to that ALW/Putin summit.

Hard House SugBanton (blueski), Monday, 11 May 2009 10:07 (seventeen years ago)

I'd really be surprised to see Holland entering at all next year. They've been limping along horribly in the competition for years now, and this will likely be the fifth time in a row that they've not made the final. How big is Eurovision over there?

you could be right. i know the biggest "national" broadcast organisation is not really interested anymore, so now a smaller partner is doing the broadcasts (and i assume also the artists) (this is NOT good for the quality by the way, cause we're talking about schlager-lovers here)

the weirdest thing is, these Toppers guys are HUGE here. so, i imagine if they finished last in their semi-final with 2 points it might be over.

Ludo, Monday, 11 May 2009 11:48 (seventeen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Monday, 11 May 2009 23:01 (seventeen years ago)

Ukraine's song is the best pop hit since Britney's Toxic. My absolute favorite.
I also like Serbia. My first impression was "lame novelty act", but the song is downright catchy and the accordeon player does some nifty stuff.

I don't get Norway. Lame song, not even sung that well, that seems aimed at the over 70 crowd.

Martijn ter Haar, Tuesday, 12 May 2009 09:48 (seventeen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Tuesday, 12 May 2009 23:01 (seventeen years ago)

ALRIGHT CREW

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:02 (seventeen years ago)

Bill Bailey on accordion there, and the biggest bali bailili triangular guitar I've ever seen

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:03 (seventeen years ago)

We currently have a trad Russian folk band doing a medley of Eurovision winners, starting off with... "Volare". Yes.

Still, "Ding Dinge Dong"! Can't be fronting on that, eh? They've skipped from that to Dana International, a gap of 23 years... and here's "Believe", being danced to by some bear-suited men, some of whom have fake snow cannons that they're spraying the audience with. Least up-for-it Eurovision audience in history is responding in suitably muted fashion.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:05 (seventeen years ago)

OH MAH GOD THEY'RE BACK AGAIN

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:05 (seventeen years ago)

Jonathan Ross is apparently aware of his resemblance to the male presenter here

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:06 (seventeen years ago)

WAKE UP PADDY!

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:06 (seventeen years ago)

he's back in the room! yay!

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:07 (seventeen years ago)

Think they're leaving the French bits to Natasha this evening, which is advisable.

Paddy O'Connell's microphone is on, at least.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:07 (seventeen years ago)

And here comes this year's token Balkan slowie.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:07 (seventeen years ago)

aargh the guitar! :)

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:08 (seventeen years ago)

Ooh, strings. If this were a box of service station chocolates, it would cost at least £6.

Unsure blokey has the voice to carry this, though. Hmm.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:08 (seventeen years ago)

didn't know all Croatian chicks were blonde.

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:09 (seventeen years ago)

Croatia is fluffy sub-Enrique Doubleglasias nonsense - no final placing for them

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:09 (seventeen years ago)

this was too timid.

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:10 (seventeen years ago)

xp - aside from the two brunette ones?

Um, dunno. Took way, way too long to hit stride, much too much meandering... you'd think any Croat entry has a better-than-good chance of going through, but I fear this one could well be on seriously wobbly ground.

Ireland's backing music is on too quietly!

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:11 (seventeen years ago)

xp - aside from the two brunette ones?

1 i thought. anyway real chicks now. or something.

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:12 (seventeen years ago)

Kate Perry rip-off obviously.

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:12 (seventeen years ago)

^^^ with a bit of Pink and a dash of Avril

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:13 (seventeen years ago)

Started off well but I'm bored with it now

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:13 (seventeen years ago)

Ireland entry is bloody awful.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:14 (seventeen years ago)

vocals not good enough to qualify, me thinks.

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:14 (seventeen years ago)

sounds more like Europe to me.

Ireland's best punt (lol) in a while, actually - key-change almost seemed semi-necessary. Still very on the fence about its qualifying prospects, but... maybe. Maybe.

And now Latvia. Erk.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:14 (seventeen years ago)

Latvia not taking contest seriously anymore! (they wanna be the new western Europe?) nice dress!

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:15 (seventeen years ago)

this is almost like the Wild Beasts. (except for the vodka chorus! weirdness)

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:16 (seventeen years ago)

aarrggh, the lead singer kills this one by being a prat

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:16 (seventeen years ago)

I just hate that 'ooh we're rock chicks' thing when quite clearly you're as rock as B*Witched, your rawk guitars are in fact ridiculously tinny and your song is nowhere close to being as good as Avril Lavigne.

Quite like Latvia.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:17 (seventeen years ago)

Latvia's Eurovision record isn't as good as you'd necessarily assume... but they're very good at getting out of the semi before doing nowt in the final. That's the best case scenario for this lad, I'm afeared.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:17 (seventeen years ago)

that was a mess

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:18 (seventeen years ago)

His backing singers did their level best to pull him through, and it sounded much better than on record... dunno. Again.

Serbia. Oh dear.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:18 (seventeen years ago)

haha wtf

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:19 (seventeen years ago)

i thought this semi was supposed to improve in quality, so far the other one was a helluva lot better.

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:19 (seventeen years ago)

So this is the year when the East Europeans make as big a balls up of it as the West...

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:19 (seventeen years ago)

this is like that Spain/Argentinian comedian from last year or the year before.

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:20 (seventeen years ago)

Too self-consciously wacky, this lot. Like the office joker in whatever comedy series it was that had him in.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:20 (seventeen years ago)

Is the girl on the right going to actually do something?

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:21 (seventeen years ago)

Didn't she do a comedy falling-down dance a second ago?

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:21 (seventeen years ago)

like this one (from a dutch tv show)
http://www.jiskefet.net/jiskefet/oboema.jpg

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:21 (seventeen years ago)

Yeah, Serbia really can't afford to host this anytime soon, can they?

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:21 (seventeen years ago)

oh i remember Poland from last year haha. American girl. that was so terrible.

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:22 (seventeen years ago)

surely they can do better now

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:22 (seventeen years ago)

this needs a Daniel Bedingfield beat

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:23 (seventeen years ago)

Another horrible one. Don't think I saw the last couple of years but I remember Poland doing something at least semi-good before that.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:23 (seventeen years ago)

yeah this is as bad as last year. her boobs might nah whatever.

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:24 (seventeen years ago)

Mariah Carey still number one in Poland, that's for sure

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:24 (seventeen years ago)

This woman's voice was not made to sing in English. Big blousy ballads did well in semi 1. But Iceland and Malta were in a much different class and HOLY FUCK THAT KEY CHANGE WAS DREADFUL.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:25 (seventeen years ago)

Norway!

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:26 (seventeen years ago)

if we can't beat Eastern Europe, join em

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:26 (seventeen years ago)

THE CIRCLE DESCENDS!

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:26 (seventeen years ago)

Pete Doherty on a good day

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:27 (seventeen years ago)

Is that LJ?

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:27 (seventeen years ago)

correction: in another life.

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:27 (seventeen years ago)

Or in a Beatles wig?

if we can't beat Eastern Europe, join em

Looks like they're more intent on joining us in crapitude

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:27 (seventeen years ago)

haha thought the same thing snoball xxp

Unknown Artist (G00blar), Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:28 (seventeen years ago)

This is supposed to be one of the favourites? Bloody hell...

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:28 (seventeen years ago)

this is kinda sweet, the violin riff is fun (but this is not going to win)

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:29 (seventeen years ago)

Oh my god, please stop this.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:29 (seventeen years ago)

I wish they'd stop dissing Latvia, too. That was the best so far.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:30 (seventeen years ago)

(Which isn't saying much, I guess.)

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:30 (seventeen years ago)

Best chorus in the competition, plus you can't go wrong with some men kicking some hats off some stands. Also he is kind of pretty. Qualification set in stone for that.

You're interviewing Arlene Phillips? Why?

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:30 (seventeen years ago)

This is Cyprus now btw.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:31 (seventeen years ago)

I'm going to have to buy some wine. Don't think I can get through all this without a drink.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:32 (seventeen years ago)

this one is a bit hesistant on the Coldplay/Keane vibe. (guitars)

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:33 (seventeen years ago)

is she going to stand on that cubicle all song

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:33 (seventeen years ago)

Wow, her voice really is hella weak. For the first time this contest, I think someone's really been swallowed by the arena. Everything aside from her is working, tho... hmm.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:35 (seventeen years ago)

maybe the fragileness of her voice worked. i can see it qualifying.

Slovakia back like they should be, i hate non-entrants. (imagine what Italia aka RAI Uno could send every year)

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:36 (seventeen years ago)

RUUD VAN NISTELROOY

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:36 (seventeen years ago)

nah not really.

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:36 (seventeen years ago)

isn't that Fish from Marillion?

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:37 (seventeen years ago)

this sucks

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:37 (seventeen years ago)

Slovakia bringin' that classic mismatched Eurovision m/f duet yelling action!

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:37 (seventeen years ago)

All the times the crowd has burst into mid-song applause this evening - I have not really understood any of them.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:38 (seventeen years ago)

cello player, feck off!

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:38 (seventeen years ago)

Hope they qualify. That woman's voice shouldn't be out on the streets.

Denmark. 'Yay'.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:39 (seventeen years ago)

it's the reserve Irish entry

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:40 (seventeen years ago)

this guy sounds like he isn't concentrating at all

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:41 (seventeen years ago)

basically another 00's Ronan Keating song, which could either be a winning move (people want more of the same bobbins), or a total disaster (people are fed up with this kind of thing)

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:41 (seventeen years ago)

I've never had a picture of a nurse?

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:42 (seventeen years ago)

Fireworks. 'Yay'.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:42 (seventeen years ago)

(xpost) picture of nerd? nurm? WTF?

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:42 (seventeen years ago)

picture of your turd?

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:43 (seventeen years ago)

Denmark always does well when it stays safe. Hopefully that bucks the trend, it was baws and a half.

Crikey, that dress of hers. Risky.

And here's the Slovenes...

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:44 (seventeen years ago)

Modjo!

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:45 (seventeen years ago)

This is definitely tolerable.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:45 (seventeen years ago)

Also, that bloke in the audience's entirely apathetic wave when the camera went past him - tremendous. To look at the audience, you'd think it was the Brit Awards or something.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:45 (seventeen years ago)

or alternatively, the screen is removed to reveal that it's Damon Alburn

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:45 (seventeen years ago)

a singing silhouette is not a good idea, she can't be THAT ugly

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:46 (seventeen years ago)

Okay, lyrics not really tolerable.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:46 (seventeen years ago)

lightbox more like shitebox

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:46 (seventeen years ago)

her dress is like that Belarus thing from last semi

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:47 (seventeen years ago)

Tempted to call that brave, but... no, that just really wasn't a very good idea.

I quite liked Hungary. I'm not sure anyone agreed.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:48 (seventeen years ago)

Argh. Also, 'your body looks like it'll put up a fight'? Rapey.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:48 (seventeen years ago)

Oh, this is doomed, but in the best possible way.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:49 (seventeen years ago)

Soooo dooooomed

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:49 (seventeen years ago)

Hahaha, yeah, this is crappily great.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:50 (seventeen years ago)

yeah, this is going to turn up in about ten years on one of those "lol remember these shit Eurovision entries?" programmes

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:50 (seventeen years ago)

i like the harmony falsetto vocals. that's about all.

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:50 (seventeen years ago)

haha wow

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:50 (seventeen years ago)

Oh Hungary. Thank you Hungary. Thank you so much.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:50 (seventeen years ago)

And the ending!

"His biography says he likes Justin - I don't think there's any doubt about that" - Paddy right back on form!

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:51 (seventeen years ago)

Wish I could have voted for that.

Azerbaijan - one of the big contenders this year.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:52 (seventeen years ago)

His smile is the stuff of nightmares. Imagine it coming towards you as you lie in bed.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:53 (seventeen years ago)

i think this guy is a little bit shy. he can't believe he's so close to this girl :)

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:53 (seventeen years ago)

I think she's got something in her eye...

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:53 (seventeen years ago)

he looks like Delbert Wilkin's sidekick

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:54 (seventeen years ago)

Armenia - Azerbaijan 1-0
(though this is not too bad either)

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:54 (seventeen years ago)

Arash is actually Swedish, and is pretty damn popular there if I remember right. Some pretty hardcore professionalism going on here, innit? Sure to go through. Even if the lyrics are a bit... limited.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:54 (seventeen years ago)

And here's Greece. 'Yay'. Again.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:55 (seventeen years ago)

Moody beginnings.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:56 (seventeen years ago)

I am going to guess that shirt may come off at some point.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:56 (seventeen years ago)

Captain Jack Harkness?

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:56 (seventeen years ago)

Possibly not intentionally.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:56 (seventeen years ago)

dude needs a longer shirt

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:56 (seventeen years ago)

Oh, his voice is shot about 30 seconds in... And the backing singers aren't faring much better.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:57 (seventeen years ago)

TRAVELATOR!

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:57 (seventeen years ago)

Agh, slidey platform!

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:57 (seventeen years ago)

Or, uh, travelator, indeed.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:57 (seventeen years ago)

choreography!

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:58 (seventeen years ago)

a lot of the acts have been very athletic, I keep thinking that somebody's going to come a cropper at some point and fall flat on their face

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:58 (seventeen years ago)

I understand very well why Greece are mentioned among the favourites, but personally I believe this sounds too modern to have a chance of winning. Remember that a lot of people above the age of 50 vote too.

Geir Hongro, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:58 (seventeen years ago)

Might I suggest they're not making very good use of the illuminate screens? Looks a bit 24 hour launderette-ish.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:58 (seventeen years ago)

E.T goes home

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:58 (seventeen years ago)

WTF??!!!

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:58 (seventeen years ago)

Probably safe. The singing stank, but everything else sold it a bit.

Lithuania now...

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:59 (seventeen years ago)

JANDEK!

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 19:59 (seventeen years ago)

Weeeeeeeeeee arrreeee the CHAMPIONS my feeerrreeennd!!!

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:00 (seventeen years ago)

this guy needs a couple of Ne-Yo dance moves

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:00 (seventeen years ago)

Tin Pan Alley with a drum machine and R&B influenced vocals.

Geir Hongro, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:01 (seventeen years ago)

this needs to go through.

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:02 (seventeen years ago)

This is... a bit of a mess, isn't it?

PAPA SHANGO!

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:02 (seventeen years ago)

Fire in his hand!

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:02 (seventeen years ago)

Pretty poor, though, generally.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:02 (seventeen years ago)

Moldova are about to bring the noise...

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:03 (seventeen years ago)

Chiara again?

Ludo, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:03 (seventeen years ago)

I was expecting something a bit bigger to come out of that build-up.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:04 (seventeen years ago)

Okay, this is more like it. Am warming to these guys.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:05 (seventeen years ago)

They lost their legs towards the end, but yeah, safe.

"That's a way to pass an evening in Manchester, with the telly on, watching some boots."

Albania. It's the stepbrother Daft Punk refuse to acknowledge!

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:07 (seventeen years ago)

Are those dancers actually dwarves or just very short? I can't quite tell.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:08 (seventeen years ago)

I don't know, but her dreams must be very strange.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:09 (seventeen years ago)

That dance break had serious echoes of the closing scene of Little Miss Sunshine - there was a certain bloody-mindedness in her eyes... you'd not want to cross her. And so I reckon Albania will be making the big dance on Saturday.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:10 (seventeen years ago)

Uck Rhine. Another big favourite in the betting...

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:12 (seventeen years ago)

XXXP I am pretty sure they aren't dwarves as in the kind of creatures that live in caves underneath the mountains. So, I guess "very short" then... :)

Geir Hongro, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:12 (seventeen years ago)

Crikey, this is expensive shit going down here.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:13 (seventeen years ago)

bom why do bom the bom lyrics bom have the bom word bom bom bom in bom them?

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:13 (seventeen years ago)

Ukraine have heard a rumour that Eurovision may be watched by homosexuals.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:13 (seventeen years ago)

There's no way this isn't going in.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:13 (seventeen years ago)

"I'm you enterprising scum" WTF?

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:15 (seventeen years ago)

I have not made out any of the words in any of the verses so far but this bit with the drum kit just rendered all that completely irrelevant. Breezing through.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:15 (seventeen years ago)

Estonia bring it home!

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:16 (seventeen years ago)

Except no they don't because Holland are after them. WHoops.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:17 (seventeen years ago)

too dull, needed something to lift it halfway through

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:19 (seventeen years ago)

This is okay. Definitely better than some of the whinging ballads.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:19 (seventeen years ago)

Think the Eesties might have been a touch too classy for their own good, especially after Ukraine...

But here's the Netherlands, definitely rounding things out.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:20 (seventeen years ago)

Oh Jesus Christ noooooooooooo.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:20 (seventeen years ago)

bluergh, first time I've hit the mute button all evening

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:20 (seventeen years ago)

"Love will make us glow in the dark"??

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:21 (seventeen years ago)

Those gloves... have they all suffered identical hand injuries?

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:21 (seventeen years ago)

That is the worst arse-bumping I have ever seen.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:21 (seventeen years ago)

NL will not be in the final this year either. And this time they don't deserve to be there.

Geir Hongro, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:22 (seventeen years ago)

This isn't even very funny.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:22 (seventeen years ago)

Youtube doesn't have video of Father Dick Byrne's "The Miracle is Mine" from Father Ted, but holy fuck did that ever foreshadow this.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:22 (seventeen years ago)

The majority of those semi final entries that never made it to the Norwegian preselection final were better than this.

Geir Hongro, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:23 (seventeen years ago)

"big round of applause!"

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:23 (seventeen years ago)

The Dutch outfits just got merked by the hosts.

Oh god, the button.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:24 (seventeen years ago)

argh this magic button bollocks again

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:24 (seventeen years ago)

"no wonder they're bankrupt" - good start Gra, good start...

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:26 (seventeen years ago)

Predictions:

Ireland
Moldova
Ukraine
Azerbaijan
Greece
Albania
Cyprus
Norway
Estonia
Slovakia

But I'm really not at all confident about that. This could basically go anywhere. But probably not to Hungary.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:27 (seventeen years ago)

Poor Latvia. ;_ ;

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:28 (seventeen years ago)

"Andrew Lloyd Webber thinks Turkey could be a contender."

"I think Andrew's a perv."

OK, after that interview, I'm actually thinking Norton's gonna do a good job of this.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:32 (seventeen years ago)

recap - I've forgotten how half of these sound already

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:34 (seventeen years ago)

Ooh, I'd not seen the Greek box rising up before. That really is quite impressive. And quality balancing from Sakis too, credit him for that.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:37 (seventeen years ago)

William Bloody, ya so easily excitable, yo!

t**t, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:42 (seventeen years ago)

Well, y'know, hydraulics, and illumination, and being a fucking travelator all at the same time - that's some engineering, y'ken?

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:44 (seventeen years ago)

Okeh, engineerically speakenin' - ya gotta point, sir.

t**t, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:46 (seventeen years ago)

France sounds like the theme from Tales of the Unexpected

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:49 (seventeen years ago)

Azeris through, no shocks there.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:52 (seventeen years ago)

Hrvatski, uhuh

t**t, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:53 (seventeen years ago)

Croatia shouldn't be going through. Pah.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:53 (seventeen years ago)

Ukraine no surprise at all.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:53 (seventeen years ago)

And the Croats, which isn't much of a surprise either though I didn't actually pick them so erm.

And Ukraine, very much not a shock.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:53 (seventeen years ago)

OK, Lithuania - did not see that one happening at all. Not traditionally a nation that gets the rub in Eurovision either. They've only made it out the semis once before...

And Albania! Again, not traditional favourites...

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:55 (seventeen years ago)

Both rubbish, too.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:55 (seventeen years ago)

Haha oops will all Norwegian media have to revive conspiracy blabber again?

anatol_merklich, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:56 (seventeen years ago)

Moldova and urrrrgh Denmark urrrrgh and there's three slots left.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:56 (seventeen years ago)

Estonia - their first time ever making it from the semis, having bombed hard in the previous six.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:57 (seventeen years ago)

Or five.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:57 (seventeen years ago)

t**t jumping up & down on sofa! :p

anatol_merklich, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:58 (seventeen years ago)

Norway! Thank fuck for that.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:58 (seventeen years ago)

So then, a big name is gonna go...

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:58 (seventeen years ago)

somebody just unplugged the TV aerial here...

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:58 (seventeen years ago)

anatol doing same! :D

(not v big fan of song though)

anatol_merklich, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:58 (seventeen years ago)

Greece get the last slot.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:59 (seventeen years ago)

Disappointing choices there, Europe.

emil.y, Thursday, 14 May 2009 20:59 (seventeen years ago)

this looks ropey on iPlayer...

snoball, Thursday, 14 May 2009 21:00 (seventeen years ago)

Sounds too, probbly.

t**t, Thursday, 14 May 2009 21:00 (seventeen years ago)

*not jumpin' on da sofa so fa'*
BTW

t**t, Thursday, 14 May 2009 21:01 (seventeen years ago)

5 out of 5 = BIG NORDIC VOTING BLOC wahey.

anatol_merklich, Thursday, 14 May 2009 21:14 (seventeen years ago)

Checking out the 4 autoquals now... Spain is right in the middle of correctness; Andy LW will be sorely sorely disappointed bcz Not Any Good at All; liking how Germany try to be leaders rather than followers with schaffely kompakt aesthetics popped & Call&Responseded up (but prob won't work bcz in 2009 it's all about Eastern countries doing Timbaland 2001 beat vacui, ie reappropriating the reappropriated); France I have read good things about -- ok after a couple minutes the insistent piano riff becomes insistent... but I don't hear enough of an actual song, sorry.

anatol_merklich, Thursday, 14 May 2009 22:56 (seventeen years ago)

vacua, not vacui. Sry agane.

anatol_merklich, Thursday, 14 May 2009 22:59 (seventeen years ago)

*coughs discreetly*
http://is.gd/zWy2

mike t-diva, Thursday, 14 May 2009 23:31 (seventeen years ago)

Haw. Still it reeks of arm's length.

anatol_merklich, Thursday, 14 May 2009 23:51 (seventeen years ago)

Am now watching the re-run on Beeb Three... gosh, the opening number really did go down rather crappily, didn't it? Also liked how it was a montage of Eurovision winners that a) started with a song that finished third at Eurovision, and b) included no Irish entries whatsoever.

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 23:54 (seventeen years ago)

Final running order:

1. Lithuania
2. Israel
3. France
4. Sweden
5. Croatia
6. Portugal
7. Iceland
8. Greece
9. Armenia
10. Russia
11. Azerbaijan
12. Bosnia & Herzegovina
13. Moldova
14. Malta
15. Estonia
16. Denmark
17. Germany
18. Turkey
19. Albania
20. Norway
21. Ukraine
22. Romania
23. United Kingdom
24. Finland
25. Spain

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 23:55 (seventeen years ago)

First impression - that's turned out rather well for Sweden, hasn't it? Not quite so good for Iceland, or Armenia, or Albania. And Norway-Ukraine back to back - cripes...

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 23:57 (seventeen years ago)

God, this Croatian one really is balls. (I have other things I should be attending to but-cannot-pull-away)

William Bloody Swygart, Thursday, 14 May 2009 23:58 (seventeen years ago)

Some buzz-killing sequencing at the start of the draw: that's four ballads out of the first five songs.

mike t-diva, Thursday, 14 May 2009 23:59 (seventeen years ago)

Portugal ain't exactly picking up the tempo, either, and neither do Iceland - oh God, this could be playing right into Greece's hands. Chiara, on the other hand, gets to follow Moldova, and so she gets thrown into even sharper relief...

William Bloody Swygart, Friday, 15 May 2009 00:04 (seventeen years ago)

xpost after "arm's length" post:
ESC is apparently so Not Done (like porn) it's in the language of someone reporting jocularly on someone else's earnest report on something. Always twice removed from the action. Like European lolreports on baseball culture, or US lolreports on soccer culture.

Difference here is W Euro are complaining abt E Europe etc doing well, even in spite of the very plain fact of E European countries having the clearly best songs for many years almost without exception, while "we" think that talking down to the viewers + slinging shit abt countries we haven't heard of will win the day.

In Iron Curtain days, competitive song festivals were Big Things in E Europe! The glut of winners east of Rome is because we let the Big Teams in!

Um sorry Mike, this went a bit further than your link warranted. But this bugs me. A turkey made of cloth, air stewardesses with sub-Viz jokes, and the W Euros dare complain about the outcomes? I am livid! Absolutely livid! :D :? :/ :D

anatol_merklich, Friday, 15 May 2009 00:06 (seventeen years ago)

(That Bilan dude was shit though, I'll give anyone that.)

anatol_merklich, Friday, 15 May 2009 00:09 (seventeen years ago)

it's in the language of someone reporting jocularly on someone else's earnest report on something

Blimey. All I can say is that it wasn't my intention, at all. As a long-standing ESC fan who has attended five finals in person, I was hoping that some of the genuine affection that I feel for the contest would seep through the jocularity. Well, perhaps it didn't. But "arm's length"? No, can't accept that.

mike t-diva, Friday, 15 May 2009 00:42 (seventeen years ago)

5 out of 5 = BIG NORDIC VOTING BLOC wahey.

yeah Scandinavia doing awesome there! (can they finish it off with a win, has to be Norway i guess, maybe Iceland)

Ludo, Friday, 15 May 2009 07:25 (seventeen years ago)

mike I am very sorry, for being a d1ck yes, but no less for being a mor0n. I actually didn't "get" your discreet cough, and saw your post as just a link to some random ESC article. Scanned a couple of paras, saw mentions of Balkan bombast, voting system etc and found it a good enough reason to launch a small rant on a pet peeve.

Ie I never actually read it properly, will do before final on Sat. From years of these threads, I know you are 4 realz dude! Many apologies.

anatol_merklich, Friday, 15 May 2009 07:34 (seventeen years ago)

Aww, glad we can be friends again. Big Hug!

mike t-diva, Friday, 15 May 2009 08:02 (seventeen years ago)

four years pass...

bump

Nationwide Festival of Light Bondage (wins), Friday, 18 October 2013 22:17 (twelve years ago)


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