Eurovision Final 2011

Contenders for me are Hungary, Slovenia and Serbia. The UK is good too, as is Azerbaijan. Iceland is growing on me, worryingly. Denmark would have won if they'd drawn the final slot, but they won't now! Went with Serbia.

What a missed opportunity, UK. Sending this anachronistic boy band thing while the only thing the overwhelming popular media momentum wants to hear about would be a band or song called Pippa's Arse.

Pippa's Arse: douze points
Pippa's Arse (singing live)

Er... sorry. Carry on.

France are currently 7/4 - the shortest odds i've ever seen - but i'm hoping that their jury vote's going to get split with a lot of the other 'worthy' entrants.

I have money on Estonia and Hungary but i don't think the semi-final vocals were strong enough. If they can put in a better performance, they'll both have a chance. A repeat performance from Denmark, Romania and Serbia could also see them in the mix.

I went for Sweden, though - the vocals were weak but they didn't really need to be all that strong to carry the song off. It sounds like the kind of thing that could carry a phone vote and pick up a little support from the juries.

Jedward are now second-favourites with the British / Irish bookies. Despite the tendency for the public to back songs they know (and shorten the odds), that's quite interesting. They've gone from 20/1 to 4/1 overnight.

Romania and Serbia have drifted to 150/1 and 125/1 respectively. Might be worth an each-way bet.

The most likely winners for me are France, Estonia and Azerbaijan - I'm not able to pick between them. France obviously has a lot of people excited but this style has hardly been successful at Eurovision in the past and it may fail to excite the broad swathe of people it needs to. I have some money on Russia because it was a good price and I'm hoping for a top 4 from them, also a very speculative small bet on Serbia.

I'll be surprised if Hungary makes the top 10 - vocals are weak and while catchy it's just very old-fashioned bosh. UK should make the top 10 but the song isn't great and I guess they'll split votes with Sweden and Russia. I think Finland will also be top 5.

xp - would take Serbia at those odds! Can't stand the Romanian song, would feel dirty if I endorsed it with my money.

Predictions for last place? I'd say Italy.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Yikes. Have Negronis, pink gins and gimlets planned for tomorrow evening. Let's hope I am sober enough to vote.

Is The Guardian live blogging again?

Jedward remind me of a hoos and I have no idea why

xp, Yep - The Guardian is live-blogging but i think it might be Stuart Heritage who's doing it and he's fairly snide / unfunny. The Singles Jukebox one's likely to be much better.

Should have held off betting - odds on everyone except France, Ireland and Azerbaijan have gone way out.

French odds seem strangely short to me. Had a bet on Azerbaidjan -- at times it sounds a bit like last year's runner-up in the Norwegian final as sung by Coldplay, which I'm not sure is an unequivocally good thing, but also someone on ILX made the excellent point that Turkish diaspora in other countries can't vote for Turkey this year, and the Azeris are the Turks that are left in the competition.

Not mentioned here as dark horse: Germany? I find that that tune pops into my head more often than any others I've heard (might be her delivery, which is properly unique), but ok I see that many things probably stack up against it.

so where's the live eurovision chat this year?

jesus ann coulter just looks like hell these days

Her ring reminds me of that Blackadder episode where Lord Percy tries alchemy and makes 'a ring of purest green'.

jedward - channelling 'very' period pet shop boys.

Their semi-final performance seemed more co-ordinated.

would have liked to see them in road warrior-style shoulder spikes but beggars can't be choosers

kinda digging this for giant glowing pokeball in background alone (if not smoothness of key changes)

sweden - verse=grebt chorus=pants

WHOLE STEP MODULATION I CHOOSE YOU

Oldschool Hollywood stars
Party cinderellas are here
They move like computer game heroes

I PUT MY HANDS UP IN THE LIGHT
YOU SEE ME DANCING FOR MY LIFE

those two lines have been the only good thing thus far

the greek entry is fucking awful!

Russian singer looks like a cross between Michael Flatley and Joe Longthorn.

Sings like that too.

i've cast a blind vote for jedward

Many people have already cast a deaf vote for them.

I quite liked Estonia

the standard has been pretty poor so far i have to say..

the Italian Harry Connick Jr is not improving things either..

his monogrammed in-ear monitor!

So why is the French guy the favourite?!

No idea.

pretty poor so far

Plenty of energy and excitement, but nothing's really jelled properly yet.

UKE HIPSTER ROCK

The Swiss entry is a nice tune. Although the backdrop does make it look like an ad for a building society.

BLUE!!!

wearing, BLUE!!!

I'm charitably assuming the UK entry sucks rocks.

The backdrops with their faces on look like Identikit criminal pictures.

good to see they're using their Attitude photoshoot material well

they can't sing for toffee... even though they've got two additional backing singers..

At least Costa's done his flies up!

I was disapointed that a cash machine didn't pop up in the middle of the stage halfway through...

Come on, Moldova!

DEVO??

hats!

FLASHES
RAY BAN GLASSES

Okay this Moldovan bunch.

Edward O at the Singles Jukebox: "My sister texted me to say that this band are the jumping people who get beaten with umbrellas in the video to "Tonight Tonight" by Smashing Pumpkins."

it sure took an excruciating amount of effort to get that monocle in

It's not actually good... it's just a thousand times better than everything else here.

xp Possibly because her unicycle was parked on his foot?

The Moldovan Mighty Mighty Faith No More was great

The difficult second album Eurovision entry.

Germany is really great.

poor Lena looks like the Putty Patrol are about to commit a sex crime on her, "taken by a stranger" indeed

Too subdued. Missing an exciting bit, that song.

This has improved in the last two entries.

This guy looks like a second tier Blue Peter presenter. Song sounds like an S Club 7 B-side.

Uh...no, Romania.

"Everybody!" <audience remains unmoved>

could it be said perhaps that this song by a bunch of FOREIGNERS is as COLD AS ICE?

Why has every entry so far been worse than their semi-final performance?

dorothy hamill!

Bring back the Moldovans.

Austrian girl looks like a Lego figure

White jacket with rolled up sleeves = NAGL

Singles Jukebox notes you can sing "Zombie" by the Cranberries to this.

Trifle Jnr. is swapping between the Foo Fighters live and Eurovision and I really can't decide what I'm enjoying less.

ICELANDIC MUMFORD. DIE.

That piano! Somewhere a high school assembly is going without

They're not hateful wankers like M&S though.

This is Take That, surely?

the songwriter already did Ned.

Reminded me of Brotherhood of Man for some reason (with some Robbie Williams thrown in for good luck).

the songwriter already did Ned.

There's a tragic Renteseque backstory or something?

Spain was nice, if nothing

xp songwriter died, his friends decided to perform the song for the Icelandic national contest.

If you're not watching it now, you're missing some excellent sand painting.

anyway ukraine have the sand art bloc wrapped up

Never mind sand art, the UK should get Marc Quinn to do the backdrop for next year's entry.

serbia bringing the 60's vibe... liking it..

All it needs is Austin Powers jumping around naked with his privates concealed by strategically arranged bits of furniture.

The song isn't all that though.

I'm sure that some of these acts are just running a WinAmp visualisation for their video backdrop.

not bad at all

Norton has quite mainstream taste. Doesn't like these girls' outfits. Didn't like Moldova.

And it's the goths.

ROCK!

ish

NINDIE EVANESSESNCE

token emo entry.

crap rap (really blows)

Evanescence, yes. That's who I was trying to remember the name of.

"I've got a papal denial"???

Modern, at least.

Well, 5 years ago.

I think it's "abandon painful denial".

"NO SHIT NO BIT NO WRIT NO WOOOOOOOOOOAARRGHH!!!"

And... "gonna pay for the hopeless despair". *sob*

Strap yourselves in people, there's another 15 minutes voting, followed by a hour of results.

frozen inside without your touch
Without your love, darling
only you are the life among the dead

all this time I can't believe I couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul
don't let me die here
there must be something more
bring me to life

Greece's recap wisely avoiding the dodgy rapping.

Romania's singer looks a bit like Tom Cruise as well.

Estonia is kind of great, really.

i think the Azerbaijan song was my favourite tbh

and yeah i liked the Estonian one a lot too

I've just voted Azerbaijan, but I have qualms about their human rights record.

Hungary the most Lex-tastic

xp

that's why i was booing Serbia. that and fuck a 60s pastiche

yeah Hungary could be a club banger with a little work

Would love the Italian one to win, but I guess it's too musically complex. Going for Iceland, Finland or Switzerland then.

The dance pop numbers are a bit too similar to each other, but the UK and Swedish ones are OK.

Oh, and Azerbaijan may well go home too. Sounds very much like a hit, and has the Eastern Bloc votes to back them as well.

Romania might be the 'Eurovision' answer. I really like it, but it has every cliche in the book.

Germany's answer to Olly Meers?

GET YR FREAK ON JUST THERE

Oh Johnny...
We're sorry...
won't you come on home for this crap intermission act...

For me it's a choice from: Italy, Switzerland, Moldova, Iceland or Serbia.

I'd like Iceland to win, I think Serbia or Spain will.

Another reason why I have the most faith in the ballads this year is the sound production isn't quite as good as it ought to have been. The exaggerated reverb take a lot of the bunch out of the dance pop numbers, while it fits the ballads better.

X-Post: Pretty sure Spain will not. They are never close to the top. As for Iceland, they may well go home, but if they or Azerbaijan win (Greece just cannot do), who is going to pay?

"Hooray, 4 points, 6 more and it beats last year"

"2 juries in and we've done better than last year"

Denmark's singer: "I want you, I wanna fuck you"

TAKE A PICTURE SOMEBODY

Is this the beginning of the Jedward votes avalanche?

I think even I would vote for Jedward at this point.

Can't we just have clips of hot German women for the next two hours?

This is going to over-run just a tad. Not helped by the d-r-a-w-i-n-g out of the scoring by the representatives.

GREECE VOTING FOR FRANCE WTF?????????????

We're currently being beaten by Georgia's Evanessence/2 Unlimited hybrid

I've just been shouting at the Frenchman for daring to speak French when we all know the language of Eurovision is English.

Georgia, Moldova, and Jedward above the UK.

Drink a shot every time one of the announcers says "amazing show".

Even Norton is entranced by this cleavage.

Terrible, terrible winner if these results hold.

I'm mystified as to why people are voting for the Azerbaijan entry and not at all for the Swiss song.

worst eurovision in recent memory...

Who wants to come to Baku with me next year?

Worst winner in a while but the contest was decent, on the whole.

Called it :D

The Azerbaijan song is sweet

Out.

Just worked it out, it's that Keane song. Something To Believe In? Awful, whatever.

Azerbadjian winning is OK. I can hear this song becoming a hit, as it isn't as cringeworthily "ethnic" as some other Eastern European winners have had a tendency to be. The best song was #2, weird how Italy were way down on the list halfway through and then climbed to the runnerup position.

I've just been shouting at the Frenchman for daring to speak French when we all know the language of Eurovision is English.

I notice you don't remember how Eurovision used to be like in the 80s.... ;)

And I understand Azerbaijan is an oil and gass exporting country, so I guess my assumptions about them not affording to arrange the next final are wrong then.

They spent millions of dollars on their 2010 entry and got Arash to sing for them the year before. They've been desperate to win. It has a lot of political significance for them.

And regimes with a somewhat dodgy releationship towards democracy will always make sure to afford a huge show, I guess. Just look at North Korea.....

azerbaycan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now 95 percent less cringeworthily ethnic!!!

there'll be dancing in the streets of the autonomous republic tonight

more fucking United fans

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

The semi-final results are out. Greece beat Azerbaijan in their semi.

It's going to be a tough sell for the organisers next year. Leaving aside the logistical issues like visas and expensive hotels, it was only two years ago that Azerbaijan was accused of tracking who voted for Armenia and sending the police round to intimidate them. It'll be interesting to see whether this will actually make them up their game on human rights.

Is that Swiss song on an advert at the minute? I've been trying to work out all evening where I've heard it.

Of course the ones in semi final one voted for Greece. There were almost exclusively Eastern European voters, and of course they loved that Bulgarian folk music shit.

For the record, Norway came 17th out of 19.

Again, it shows how off the betting odds were.

The betting odds are being set by experts in Northwestern Europe, who know jack shit about musical taste in Southern or Eastern Europe.

Geir kinda OTM, and they are inflated/deflated further by people in the UK who overrated their own chances.

Generally I have no idea about what Europe likes because I don't live there, but if you couldn't see Azerbaijan winning without Turkey in the contest, you were paying too much attention to the bad singing, which is usually meaningless. And Italy was always going to be juror-friendly, it's already come through a big song contest of its own and proven itself.

The only truly baffling over-performance was Ukraine. I guess a weak Russian song and a gimmick helped that.

Mika's performance was very strong, as well. She seemed nervous in the Ukrainian national final and in the semi but nailed it on the night. I didn't expect her to do quite as well as she did though.

Amazing to think that Estonia were close to last - not just because they came 24th, but because the country that came last - Switzerland - was only a point ahead of perennial friendly-vote getter Armenia who would have probably done better than Switzerland in the finals. Shows how wary one should be about the echo chamber that is odds and Eurovision fan boys. Plus their magic trick was obvious if you freeze framed it!

Unsurprised at Greece getting to 7th by default. Geir's reasons look sound enough to an outsider, but splitting them up from their voting friends in the semi doesn't work if all the fans of their style vote them through to the finals (as happened) and then they can draw on their built-in-advantage. Needs to be a compromise. I suggest that countries that don't make the final only get to give out votes to their five favourite songs - 6, 4, 3, 2, 1. Sounds draconian, but if you didn't make the contest in the past you didn't vote, so it's really not that awful. Cyprus sending rubbish songs over and over again and failing (last year's finals berth notwithstanding) only to give their 12 to their maaaate and propelling them ahead of vastly better songs like Germany and the UK is silly. I know some people liked Greece but, come on.

Italy grew on me but I wish it had just been him and the piano. The other instruments added all the aspects to it that I didn't like. The bit in the montage was by far the best bit, for instance.

As predicted, Hungary = this year's Iceland 2010.

azerbaijan certainly had one of the less crap eurovision winners in recent memory - and honestly good look awkwardly anglicizing the name of "nigar jamal"

the Blue song was a bit crap and tune-light tbh

I would say the Blue song was completely OK, but there were too many dance pop numbers, they sort of killed each other's chances and ended up sounding a bit too alike. Plus the horrible sound production with way too much reverb didn't exactly favour the dance pop songs either.

The only thing I got right was that Azerbaijan I thought would probably win; everything else I got wrong, e.g.:

Predictions for last place? I'd say Italy.

― Fear Moldova and the Nation of Leaners (seandalai), Friday, May 13, 2011 10:40 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark

If you consider that Azerbaijan got around 50 points just for being Azerbaijan, there's a reasonable case that Italy would have won a fair contest. This year demonstrated that when there's no clear winner (unlike the last two years) the old "structural advantages" can still be decisive under the new voting system.

Enjoyed this, despite the dreadful winner. Biggest letdown (for UK viewers only I guess) was Graham Norton's dismal commentary this time round; Terry Wogan used to absolutely nail it most years, but I thought found GN largely incapable of even amusing comment (other than "what is she wearing lol" stuff) and during the voting he was inexcusably amateurish: loads of instances where UK had already been awarded 3 points or whatever and he'd be saying "let's see what we get" and he didn't even know when it had been mathematically won. Absolute rubbish.

Norton was poor. Totally 'phoned in'. I don't remembering him be so bad before now. I think I still prefer him to Wogan though.

Once again, the ones I picked as "that's quite good" got nowhere, although if Italy got second place, that's the closest I've got since "Let'em swing" won.

Nowhere seems to have the final results table, just a bunch of references...

Mark:

Full scoreboard of first semi:
http://www.eurovision.tv/page/history/by-year/contest?event=1533

Full scoreboard of second semi:
http://www.eurovision.tv/page/history/by-year/contest?event=1543

Full scoreboard of final:
http://www.eurovision.tv/page/history/by-year/contest?event=1553

Re GN sucking: this was entirely predictable. I watched the BBC coverage but with the sound down and listened to the Radio 2 commentary with Ken Bruce, professional as ever. They weren't in synch (radio about 10 secs ahead of the visuals) but it hardly mattered. I recommend this approach to all Brits.

Also if you click on the "Scoreboard" tab from the pages linked above, you can see exactly who gave points to who and how many.

Thanks, that's helped me locate the ones I liked...

The German entry had the most "uh, wha?" lines. "You haven't brushed your hair" ftw.

Predictions for last place? I'd say Italy.

Well done there.

Indeed.

I'm with you though, it should have been nearer last than second. Greece should have been last.

Or Lithuania. Hated France too. And why was Eric Idle singing for Bosnia?

because they are looking at the bright side of life.

Moldova, though...

... at one point it started reminding me of Magma