L@@K! Photos from Real Estate Listings (see remarks)

http://i.imgur.com/AiwOUIW.jpg

I know what you're thinking: House like this is going to look like a steak house on the inside, right?

http://i.imgur.com/KwizWJz.jpg

You would be absolutely correct.

http://i.imgur.com/MJTABtU.jpg

Nothing puts me more in my comfort zone than sitting on this folding chair, working at my awkward desk, breathing in fumes from the clothes dyer on a crisp winter's night.

http://i.imgur.com/UWQNY8Y.jpg

"Get the fuck out of here, this used to be the garage?"

http://i.imgur.com/RCL5xL2.jpg

"So hows long it been since you got made? Huh? Oh no..."

http://i.imgur.com/HzQgMh3.jpg

Now let's see, 'When You Can't See God's Hand, Trust –––" WHA AAAAAHH! HOLY FUCK MY LEG!"

I should post some from my area. The latest in Russian tryhard decor.

Please do. This is an Open House.

Who puts slogans on their wall like that? It looks like a nursing home.

Also, I love this shit so much. Gotta go find some corkers.

when we were househunting we looked at a place that was just like that converted garage, it was like there had been a terrible murder & they had just done a fly by night carpet/paint job.

oh and: no acoustics. completely dead sound. creeeeeeeepy as fuck.

There were a lot more fish in that barrel than I imagined last night when I started clicking around the local realtors map.

http://i.imgur.com/lGxucgj.jpg

FOR SALE: The slightly worn set used by the short-lived cooking show "Food Times".

http://i.imgur.com/5K1rFTf.jpg

"Oh, don't mind me here, Irvin. You just go ahead and watch your football game."

http://i.imgur.com/PGjSjlX.jpg

"I did it! I meditated and travelled back to 1974 to meet my true love!"

sees remote control on coffee table

"Nooooooooooo!!!"

http://photos1.zillowstatic.com/p_f/IS1fcmx9hqs3b81000000000.jpg

After a long day at the office, I like to kick off my flip flops, snuggle up under a sleeping bag in my favorite lawn chair, and listen to a CD."

Whoops. Don't forget to turn on the spotlights.

It's hard to reach the light switch when the earth is tilting like that.

lol the harp photo

I don't know if this goes here or on the your terrible ideas thread.

But browsing through the Memphis listings, decided there really should be an Eggleston Realty Co.

http://i.imgur.com/8em8sM5.jpg

"It's a fixer-upper, but you do get free Web access."

http://i.imgur.com/EDyjtXF.jpg

"This property's great, I just have to talk to my husband about – wait, is that someone playing a Peter Gabriel song?"

http://i.imgur.com/ki2KezG.jpg

"Just picture relaxing in your office, listening to the dryer tumble and smelling its fabric softener scented fumes. Can't picture it? Well, here..."

http://i.imgur.com/voX5sp4.jpg

Who puts slogans on their wall like that? It looks like a nursing home.

― I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2015 04:48 (Yesterday) Permalink

House painters and interior design mags convince people to do all kinds of stupid shit, often because it costs more and/or will seem tired in a few years. Painters convinced us to do a stupid-looking two-tone thing in our eat-in kitchen that I really regret. Walls really don't need to be two colors.

http://i3.au.reastatic.net/800x600/536fb89fbb581e49c8faa4924f7db6be6b0d7c2fad95f0eb90057b039be871ac/image3.jpg

Horror House II: the Stalking Sink.

The place in that pic costs $200 a week people. Melbourne is an expensive hell.

What is that room? And down here, what's going on with the mirrored top in front of the mirror with the ... air hockey puck on it?

http://i.imgur.com/72Mf62F.jpg

Anyway. Melbourne might be expensive, but blue paint sure ain't.

Ha, right? I think thats just a living room, with a laundry off it because that makes sense? Actually, tbf the ad was for a bungalow behind a house, so its probably only 2 rooms all told.

Now thats how you sell a bedroom ... ? :|

http://i1.au.reastatic.net/800x600/cac680e2c76c8585c7998bd1abf0a11e11d88499575c3e531f6ed1163234aee2/image5.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/IV8btMU.png

They'll give you 15, but you'll only need five!

Ugh I fucking hate how narrow OFI windows are. And at such useless times, too, who has time to get off work and make to an opening at 5 if they work til 5.

I miss the days when you could just walk into an agents, pick up the keys for a bunch of properties and leave a fiddy for each one in deposit.

I've tried to understand what's going on with Australian real estate, but it's hopeless.

For example, in the States, you hold an auction only if it's a foreclosure or it's a shitty property that no one wants. Apparently down there, it's the opposite - you take the photos and show your home, then wait for the big auction day where you'll likely get more than you asked for.

(Well, in Sydney, at least.)

Yeah sale by auction is something that crept in maybe 15-20 years back and seems ubiquitous now. And its precisely so they can make as much money as possible (a la ebay auctions I guess). I've been priced completely out of home ownership because I need $80k just for the *downpayment* and I just cannot get that sort of money together. Its insane.

yes they listed with swastika graffiti intact http://www.movoto.com/quilcene-wa/411-sea-home-rd-quilcene-wa-98376-501_320196/
http://501.mlsimages.movoto.com/096/320196_14.jpg

Geez.

I was thinking thats a lot of money for a shitshack but its on 7 acres of waterfront, that'd go for like 3 jillion here :(

"Yah, you can look at it that way, but didja know that in some cultures, it's a symbol of luck?"

its a banksy

I feel IA at the shape of the living room in this luxury condo in my neighborhood that also sells for nearly 3x the price of a nearly equivalent co-op apartment.

https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpadded/207/genMid.2841207_2_0.jpg
https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpadded/207/genMid.2841207_3_0.jpg

You don't like that it ends at a point?

Look! You get that nifty little reading nook because of it. If it was flat, the nook would directly face the rest of the room.

IDK why it annoys me so much, partly just because it's so narrow compared to typical apartments in my neighborhood, which are mostly very spacious due to having been built in the 40s/50s. The point is awkward to me though, like it doesn't really look comfy as a nook, but it also doesn't interact with the rest of the room.

but it also doesn't interact with the rest of the room.

http://i.imgur.com/MobN7iy.jpg

Could that be the point?

http://i.imgur.com/btS0Gny.jpg

It does look narrow, but hey, isn't that life in the big city?

http://i.imgur.com/IZM4caY.jpg

"Can I get you anything? Perhaps some Pringles?"

xp, IDK it just looks like an awkward layout resulting from an awkwardly shaped building resulting from an effort to put the maximum # of apartments on an awkwardly shaped lot to me. And it's absurdly expensive for the area, although the terrace has a "bar pergola."

http://i.imgur.com/NmT5hLR.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/bqI3ItM.jpg

"You may think that sign is corny, but you should've read what the original one said."

http://i.imgur.com/o65F4TB.jpg

- "Hey, Judy! Can you get me another beer?"

- "Sorry! I can't hear you! I'm in the kitchen!"

http://i.imgur.com/NJlddBA.jpg

- "I can't see very well in here. Does that say 'Haunted'?"

- "No, of course not. That would be silly. It says 'Wanted'."

http://i.imgur.com/fdjQJbr.jpg

"Well let me ask you something else: Are you a fan of Duke basketball? How about Israel?"

http://i.imgur.com/DtShLKV.jpg

Hmm. Maybe there's good reason why it's the loneliest number.

http://photos2.zillowstatic.com/p_f/ISphukilm6juxw1000000000.jpg

"Pressure-washer gathering dust? Have we got the house for you!"

That one hits a little too close to home.

As in, that is my home - how did you find it.

i am truley sorry for your lots

L at at K!

http://photos1.zillowstatic.com/p_f/ISp5hyampu965f0000000000.jpg

Comes with your choice of costume: cowboys and saloon girls, gangsters and flappers, or old-timey bathing suits!

Interesting backyard:

http://i.imgur.com/5L3hQLL.jpg

Do ya like Creedence? Well, take a look out of this back door!

never gets old

http://i.imgur.com/2ybcYtF.jpg

did f.w. murnau design that bathroom or

https://www.redfin.com/NY/Unknown/108-17-64th-Rd-11375/home/20914037?utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=listings_update&utm_source=myredfin

$1.25 fucking million!

https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpaddedwide/187/genMid.2860187_0.jpg
https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpaddedwide/187/genMid.2860187_1_0.jpg
https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpaddedwide/187/genMid.2860187_2_0.jpg

I dunno? Maybe the light fixture in the second photo's cut from real diamond?

Was just browsing and found this. Weirds me out that it comforts me knowing this room is alive and well somewhere in America.

http://i.imgur.com/Yddfu7A.jpg

the idea of that phone ringing spooks me

I imagine silence, while one sits facing the mater, a clock ticking ominously in the background.

I feel like I can picture who lives in the house I posted above. It's the guy from my freshman college dorm with a blowout who once told one of my friends "I could make three phone calls and have you dead."

Second phone call goes to the guy who sits in the blue chair in mine.

I find these very subtly bad:

https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/78/mbpaddedwide/249/genMid.4601249_1_3.jpg
https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/78/mbpaddedwide/249/genMid.4601249_4_3.jpg
https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/78/mbpaddedwide/249/genMid.4601249_9_3.jpg
https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/78/mbpaddedwide/249/genMid.4601249_13_3.jpg

"Oh you know, I love music, that's why I keep random components of a drum kit on hand not set up in any playable configuration"

Certainly an obscenely soulless and too-large house.

I love how the attempts at grandeur break down once we reach an actual room - just 8 foot ceilings, Venetian blinds, and an ill-proportioned room struggling to make sense of way way too many windows. Good luck putting anything in there besides miscellaneous objects arranged in order to vaguely suggest a hobby or lifestyle choice.

I'd live there. I could turn it around.

Yours for 3 mil

Weird how they snapped the photo just as the bride was coming out of the rest room.

never saw this thread before, very lol

http://i.imgur.com/gWbjjGV.jpg

Love the fringe halos around the trees. Anything else it's got that violates space and dimensions?

http://i.imgur.com/HATZ4lD.jpg

OMG, we'll take it. Right after I'm done peaking here.

https://s14.postimg.org/v2njnrek1/image.jpg

£1.2m is a lot of money but it's a big house...

https://s21.postimg.org/lor0t9i4n/image.jpg

Decor could use some updating but...

https://s11.postimg.org/hkc04h1dv/image.jpg

Hmm.

whaaaat

yeah who puts a men in black picture on the wall

o m g
https://www.trulia.com/property/1062850320-24-Brentwood-Dr-Avon-CT-06001
flip through those pics

mother of god

is that the hansel and gretel house

below is apparently the artist's spec for the brentwood house?
http://nebula.wsimg.com/d2d1e9307fee8e376e94e42c9174fcc7?AccessKeyId=D805D8BDDABF3F976511&disposition=0&alloworigin=1

(via jes skolnik on twitter: he got excited and a pal of his did some archive-diving)

ha yea we were talking about this place in the "buying a house" thread

posted it there too :)

another wonderful pplains thread. in the words of loleatta holloway, he gets down to the real nitty gritty.

lol that link. house is kind of amazing all things considered

great place to live if you take shrooms every day

This house was occupied by two brothers for 30 years. The owner was a hoarder and the property has about 10 sheds on it. The price is what it is because of the condition of the house. It is in need of a total rehab of the house and the yard. The bones of this house seem good but is not for the faint of heart. There is a strong urine smell throughout and the inside needs to be stripped out and totally redone to make this into something worthwhile, or just bulldozed and stick a new house on the lot.

natural ice

http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/108-Freese-Dr_Sanger_TX_76266_M70050-11495#photo0

HA

Oh no

The reprise of the screened-in porch couldn't even distract me.

Appropriate it's on Freese Drive though.

omg

haha oh no

heh i thought the kitchen was the money shot but.. i was wrong

lolll

honestly baffled by the hallway's lack of walkspace, footprints, or central pile

click on a link from an ilx thread one time and

http://i.imgur.com/PkGjlY7.png

listing photos are like "did you see the pool?" "there's a pool here!!!" "interior is really nice but i just want to make sure you remember there's a swimming pool!" "by the way there is an outdoor bar/entertainment area next to the swimming pool!!!!" http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/4554-Broadale-Rd-Cleveland-OH-44109/33341071_zpid/

it is a pretty fly pool but yeah interesting contrast to the number of listings i've seen where the pool is minimized or not even photographed.

"Paradise in Cleveland!"

Welcome to McMansion Hell

Everyone of those statues, including the fat pizza chef and the staircase santas, come to life at night and try to stab you.

lol @ "an art"

"Dressers about to stage an intervention"

http://i.imgur.com/HipZOcg.jpg

"Hello! Thanks for coming! If you could just sign in here, we'll get you your registration packet and schedule. Where are you all from?"

http://i.imgur.com/oBwu2VO.jpg

"Well, let me answer your question with a question. How would you like to have free honey for the rest of your life?"

http://i.imgur.com/lDn5Y95.jpg

And this one messing with my head like:

http://i.imgur.com/Z9w8peC.gif

http://i.imgur.com/htoKR1F.jpg?1

Oh come on, you'd have a better chance of dying from pneumonia than actually electrocuting yourself!

feel like I just typed idclip in doom ii

lol

http://www.mcmansionhell.com/ is fun stuff - - - good at calling out specific design crimes and giving me new ways to hate these buildings, and the real-estate agent set-dressers who must go around with carloads of pottery to arrange in glass-fronted cabinets.. fyi the topmost entry is some kind of non-sequitur entry in a different genre, the meat is below.

haha yes that is a great site

the "101" series of articles is essential.

the examples of 10s are so insane I kind of like them

http://68.media.tumblr.com/a2667b75cec76b6143096add05095d49/tumblr_inline_of5nql2ani1sppt0x_1280.png

If I were a roofer and got a call to quote reroofing that, I'd just cross my arms and say "seven million."

"wrecked upon"? Argh.

But yes that site has some godawful architecture. I think they did an Aus special once.

Yeah, I could post the photos, but for some journeys, you need to take them on your own.

https://www.realtor.ca/Residential/Single-Family/18124984/222-CHATHAM-Street-Brantford-Ontario-N3S4H1

That takes a turn.

send in...

yikes

it would appear that this house is already occupied ... by ten thousand clowns

this is amazing

https://www.redfin.com/MD/Baltimore/2105-Erdman-Ave-21218/home/10821025

ha that's pretty awesome

Me and my B-52s albums will be right over.

oh wow that's awesome

yeah that's a total gem

tomboto is baltimore that cheap still? that place is only an hour outside of dc...

http://i.imgur.com/oXp1kSo.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/IwRWMwZ.jpg

of course it has che kitsch

http://i.imgur.com/mtDQFFC.jpg

LOTS OF EXTRAS, LOADS OF WINDOWS

http://i.imgur.com/rCXkyx9.jpg

"Mommy! I just had the worst nightm–" BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

http://i.imgur.com/zy4sm4u.jpg

"YES, I'M SURE THIS WOULD BE A GREAT ROOM TO SING A LULLABY."
"OK! BUT I WAS ASKING HOW OFTEN DOES THE TRAIN GO BY?''

http://i.imgur.com/zqdMTgn.jpg

"Be honest. Who doesn't like sleeping with the windows open?"

http://i.imgur.com/mEEYgk5.jpg

"Haha, I guess so! But Bill down at the office likes to call those 'Freedom Drains.'"

lol

""Mommy! I just had the worst nightm–" BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!"

lmao

Scared of nuclear bombs? Live in east Ohio? Boy, do I have the place for you.

http://capstonecompany.com/property/19197-river-apt-c-athens-ohio-45701/

If you're all "A link, eh? I'll just come back later," I hear you. I'm just not up for right-clicking all those images right now.

But I will leave you with this one:

http://i.imgur.com/58dAdRB.jpg

2,400 ft for $675/month? All the unhappy souls from this week's California thread need to take a look at this.

http://capstonecompany.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/IMG_0384-768x1024.jpg

Getting some serious Wolfenstein 3D vibes here.

"Welcome, to Ken's Labyrinth"

I... what, with that floorplan. WHAT.

That's a bit of a stroll for your morning pee.

it's the weird shadow shelf of an inefficient and excessively pavilionized gargantuan surface house - so these are the parts a) that weren't built slab-on-grade, and b) which they attempted to make into finished basement spaces and naturally the result bears little resemblance to what you might come up with if you were trying to conceive of an "apartment" from the start. i'd also be shocked if it can be legally rented what with having no windows and all - thing's a gigantic fire trap.

otoh only a 12-minute drive to wal-mart

I'd say 50/50 risk of dying by fire or drowning

graboids also an ever-present risk

Getting some serious Wolfenstein 3D vibes here.

The living room with its *counts silently to self for a few moments* 7 or 8 closets is definitely something from a Scooby Doo cartoon.

http://i.imgur.com/n0ekGIY.jpg

i'd also be shocked if it can be legally rented what with having no windows and all - thing's a gigantic fire trap.

The magic word you said there ma have been "rented," but I am slightly infatuated with underground homes. Hey, they're easy to heat and cool.

Check this one out.

I'm not sure I could use the word "pavilionized" correctly in a sentence.

So you build a 3,000 pound door from rare woods and craft these amazing staircases and then you pick the BEIGE CARPET and THAT SOFA.

haha. total architecture-school or art-historical word. basically what you see in that floorplan, where spaces become their own distinct shapes, like they're budding off of each other for example. a whole hershey bar is a single pavilion but if you break up all the pieces of chocolate - as if each was its own pavilion/gazebo/object - you're looking at some pavilionization there.

totally not satanic at all

great long hallways to run screaming from your captor

loltm

I'm very curious about the floorplan of that woodwork house. Also I wonder if they have time to RenFaire on the weekends and/or where they stockpile the guns.

I did some slight dosing on them once I realized they were from my state.

They own a woodworking shop in the nearest town and have visited the Holy Land multiple times.

I don't know which is worse - the word I was trying to say, "doxxing," or the autocorrected one, "dosing."

Take your pick.

https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/159/bigphoto/979/3928979_12_0.jpg

https://itcouldbecrappier.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/acslater_crop.jpg

Is that A.C. Slater hovering in the clouds?

Is that Minneapolis?

And if so, is that Paul Westerberg?

cleveland yo

http://i.imgur.com/ADpVTJB.jpg

Sure, they're all moved around, but I still thought I spotted the IDS and Norwest Wells Fargo buildings.

hmm, my first impression was Jonathan Silverman

Hello there. May I show you the greatest real estate listing in human history? This is a thread about it.https://t.co/mRzplQQJI0

— Gabriel Rosenberg (@gnrosenberg) August 19, 2017

epic

that is out of this world.

comments on that twitter thread spin off into some bizarre directions tho :-/

Absence of hand rails made me nervous for once.

- "So is the current owner a follower of Christ?"
- "Yeah? Christ... and horses."

https://i.imgur.com/Mp9G9Ff.jpg
_______________________________________________

- "I've had a lot of people ask about this property, won't be on the market for long?"
- "Do you mean this showcase, or the rest of this Ashley Furniture store you've taken me to?"

https://i.imgur.com/gxwCfxS.jpg
_______________________________________________

https://i.imgur.com/v4lL1by.jpg

"Well, the architect got to thinkin', What if the postman didn't have to walk all through the house to get to Mr. Bumstead?"
_______________________________________________

https://i.imgur.com/KLVSuCe.jpg

"Honestly, to get the full effect of this fabulous room, you have to wait until midnight when you're neighbor backs in with his high-beams on."
_______________________________________________

"Well that's silly. You know 'War of the Worlds' was a hoax, right?"

https://i.imgur.com/H3q5NlN.jpg
_______________________________________________

https://i.imgur.com/K2MASBp.jpg

"So the gas main is right behind this mirror then? Great! My three-year old grandson will love it."

https://i.imgur.com/OxZp1Oy.jpg

What is even the point of having this huge mirror here instead of two regular ones hanging side by side?

https://i.imgur.com/pjR56YG.jpg

And I know, after talking shit about mirrors, I have to contradict myself by asking, Know what this room sure could use?

https://i.imgur.com/tb3M7QY.jpg

And all those mirrors, it wasn't until the exterior shot that the photographer finally slips.

https://i.imgur.com/PwKMG36.jpg

"Spaghetti? I don't know, sonny, let me see if I have any sauce...."

https://i.imgur.com/QUQ3bE2.jpg

i looked at that listing before the twitter thread and did not notice any of the bizarrely staged items. i did notice the electric range and the huge grill in the kids' bedroom.

lol dunno why but the mirroring-over of a wall that has a fireplace in it seems the most bizarre thing about all of that

shower off of the deck isn't CRAZY if it's a really secluded location, y'know, gaze out at the trees during the morning rinse, breath deep and think pleasant thoughts. or i guess if you go hiking a lot from there and want a convenient spot to rinse or w/e. the toilet on the other hand is totally unacceptable.

THe door past the shower is at the top of the stairs in the pic below. I dunno, still seems weird to me to have such a semi-exterior door RIGHT THERE next to the stall.

https://i.imgur.com/DpX8rnu.jpg

yeah that's pretty weird with the 'public' feeling deck right there. i might just be associating it with beach houses where it's nice to have a 'sand shower' on your way in, but ime that can and should be an entirely outdoor fixture on the deck itself.

Boy, there's just something about this one... seems so familiar....

https://i.imgur.com/dw201lV.jpg

Hmmmm.

Trayce?

https://i.imgur.com/UvkwIwL.jpg

Ever hear the expression, "shit rolls downhill?"

https://i.imgur.com/sCrZGOy.jpg

And now, here's one from a professional:

Coincidentally, these are the same wild horses that won’t stop me redecorating the second I move in.https://t.co/xlUG9cqfib pic.twitter.com/hOhT2Mswz3

— Bad Realty Photos (@BadRealtyPhotos) September 4, 2017

https://i.imgur.com/iSyKdYH.jpg

And you say to yourself, gosh, that's a lot of snow for a subdivision down south.

https://memegenerator.net/img/images/50x50/11874195.jpg Stay tuned for THE REST OF THE STORY.

"It needs some work, but for $129,000, it'd be a bargain."

"Needs some work? No, I'm sorry, this listing is for the car."

https://i.imgur.com/7HnSC9j.jpg

"Even if there were squirrels up there, you could always smoke 'em out with your barbecue grill."

https://i.imgur.com/AEn26rV.jpg

Ever get a new pair of glasses and suddenly feel like you're 1.2 inches shorter?

https://i.imgur.com/u5qrLPZ.jpg

''It was a dark and stormy – Hey, dog! Quit staring at me!"

https://i.imgur.com/2Zd3g4T.jpg

room where cujo was written

lol

pplains you are doing god’s work itt, i live for these updates

thought of this thread recently when I saw this thoroughly depressing Queens NYC listing:

https://www.redfin.com/NY/Unknown/59-51-69th-Pl-11378/home/20901305?utm_source=myredfin&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=recommendations_update&riftinfo=ZXY9ZW1haWwmbD0xMDIzODk1OCZwPWxpc3RpbmdfdXBkYXRlc19yZWNvbW1lbmRhdGlvbnMmdHM9MTUxNzk0OTYwNzIwMCZhPWNsaWNrJnM9cmVjb21tZW5kYXRpb25zJnQ9aW1hZ2UmZW1haWxfaWQ9MTAyMzg5NThfMTUxNzk0OTYwN182JnVwZGF0ZV90eXBlPTE0JmxpbHJfc2NvcmU9MC4wMDkyJmxpc3RpbmdfaWQ9Nzk1NDM4MzgmcHJvcGVydHlfaWQ9MjA5MDEzMDUmcG9zaXRpb25fbnVtYmVyPTE%3D
https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/79/mbpaddedwide/279/genMid.3002279_0.jpg

That little hovel will set you back near 3/4 million

that doghouse one looks like a prerendered environment for a late 90s point and click adventure game nobody liked

utm_source=myredfin&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=recommendations_update&riftinfo=ZXY9ZW1haWwmbD0xMDIzODk1OCZwPWxpc3RpbmdfdXBkYXRlc19yZWNvbW1lbmRhdGlvbnMmdHM9MTUxNzk0OTYwNzIwMCZhPWNsaWNrJnM9cmVjb21tZW5kYXRpb25zJnQ9aW1hZ2UmZW1haWxfaWQ9MTAyMzg5NThfMTUxNzk0OTYwN182JnVwZGF0ZV90eXBlPTE0JmxpbHJfc2NvcmU9MC4wMDkyJmxpc3RpbmdfaWQ9Nzk1NDM4MzgmcHJvcGVydHlfaWQ9MjA5MDEzMDUmcG9zaXRpb25fbnVtYmVyPTE%3D

that doghouse one looks like a prerendered environment for a late 90s point and click adventure game nobody liked

haha.

>TURN ON LIGHT.

>The light is on.

>TYPE ON TYPEWRITER

>There is no paper.

>PUT PAPER IN TYPEWRITER

>There is no paper.

https://is1-ssl.mzstatic.com/image/thumb/Purple69/v4/4f/3f/ea/4f3feac1-2267-1763-c605-11d64fa27fbf/source/643x0w.jpg

omg

unsurprisingly, John McAfee's house is ugly

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/90-Beasley-Dr-Lexington-TN-38351/81194538_zpid/

Doesn't look all that secure to me.

https://i.imgur.com/H5czC8A.jpg

From GoodBubbas, where Tommy Joe shoots Lil' Weevil for backtalk.

https://site217245.kw.com/property/ga/east-point/30344/duke-of-windsor-13---fulton-north-williamsburg/2973-duke-of-windsor/5b68b1975bb57d7422b314e1/

holy shit

the organ

the stunting recliner

the kitchen cabinets

the chessboard, the everything

Year Built: 1970

shocking

made by a game level designer who put all textures on random?

carpeted kitchen?

looool the laundry room

https://photos.zillowstatic.com/p_f/IS660qimt36a3z0000000000.jpg

"make sure you order the RED air vents. RED."

"I'm not sure i can get-"

"oh you'll get them"

i kinda like it, swap out the flooring and youve got something

no the flooring is rad

X-post Man,that lil'green house from a year or so back, was/is so cool it hurts. I'm also surprised by how relatively affordable some of these are. But really that green one with the privacy glass and with all of that decor intact, would just be....WOW! I really love it. I am in love with that house.

a lot of these pictures could be combined into one lavish palace with an organ room, a harp room, the green bathroom, the red bathroom, etc

Not fooling anyone, lampshade.

https://i.imgur.com/ilRxVL9.jpg

omg

that rules. if not for the awful awful couch you'd really have something there.

The above two rooms are 100% my aesthetic. I would remove nothing and only add more texture and pattern if I lived there.

"Well, ok. Battery's about to go dead and my beer's getting warm. So where in the world is the ..."

https://i.imgur.com/iK5POhf.jpg

"Ah, crap."

https://i.imgur.com/jI4hErK.jpg

CANNOT be serious.

TBH our upstairs toilet's almost that close to the bathtub :( its gross.

lol took me 3 tries to see it

"And where's the pull-chain to this cistern?"

I feel like I'm missing what the wtf is here lol

Toilet paper.

said brownie.

;)

OH. Ew.

it also appears to be connected to 2 different bedrooms which is a cursed layout

otm

I'm also not sure what's getting plugged into that power outlet above the toilet

that's a light switch, but it's not impossible that it actually operates the porch light

xp maybe they usually use an electric toothbrush instead of toilet paper

disposable loofahs, stored in the closest bath

why is there a shower/bathtub, AND a bathtub?

this bathroom is of the devil

it's the same one there's just 2 doors

The sink is across from the toilet.

lol sic prob otm

xxpost oh lol doh

The shampoo rack appears to be the same size in both photos, even though the reflected image is twice the distance away from the viewer than the original shot. Yet they appear the same size.

I don't know if I'm making sense, but neither does this bathroom.

No funny caption. Just that I stared at this photo a lot longer than I should have, trying to make sense of that closet.

https://i.imgur.com/JR3nenl.jpg

I'd rather live in the shed.

Slide #16, people. Slide #16.

$50k? I'll take it

oh god that toilet gives me the phear
especially THE WINDOW WTF
my dad’s friend had a creepy stinky spiderweb-filled outhouse and trying to balance my 5yr old butt on the “seat” (two planks with a hole) for fear of falling completely through the hole was one of the more terrifying experiences of my life

https://i.imgur.com/FpEQk4L.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/O5gwutI.jpg

=

https://i.imgur.com/KkzZWyx.jpg

xxp I like how the dog's eyes are astrally projecting to the picture over the mantlepiece

is there a general thread for real estate listings of note? i've got a good one that is....weird but not in the spirit of this thread

Buying A House: C or D? is another thread that has listings on it.

But again, it's an Open House every day on this one.

https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/51549861_10161292479860304_4637805763253764096_n.jpg?_nc_cat=108&_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-1.xx&oh=7b84ab703b3f6573b9abbcf7f51d296d&oe=5CF6FD45

all mine for just ONE POINT TWO MILLION DOLLARS u say, i'll take three

i'm imagining just a small room with 4 beds and 2 bathtubs in it

https://i.imgur.com/HSqmLel.png

Well, I guess you could buy it now and then sell it for $1.9M in April?

I have a dream to live that close to a Trader Joes.

xp, yeah a friend pointed that out -- we were guessing maybe it was a (now botched) Amazon flip.

(ie flip in anticipation of HQ2 in LIC)

genuinely a bit afraid of the mind that would come up with this design

pic.twitter.com/jI05F2dMX5

— Cursed Architecture (@CursedArchitect) April 12, 2019

Needs mirrors on the sides, imo.

https://www.redfin.com/TX/Buda/311-Towhee-Dr-78610/home/33820496

https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/92/mbpaddedwide/178/genMid.7884178_5_0.jpg

https://ssl.cdn-redfin.com/photo/92/bigphoto/178/7884178_10_0.jpg

click through for more, and also the inevitable man cave

Kitchen and walls painted custom by owner. … Furniture is negotiable.

I usually roll my eyes at man caves but someone in that place, who isn't face down in the pool, should be happy.

"Historical Texans burial plot in front yard."

my god

A historical Texans burial plot is one of those must-have features

Technically if the Texans buried in the front yard of this house aren't historical that means they would be scrabbling inside their coffins to get out which I can imagine could be off-putting at night

Long as they're Texans.

I'm totally into this woman's demented obsession, except for that weird mid-floor fold-out kitchen unit.

incredible find

Courtesy of a twitter user fwiw

here i sit, buns a-flexin
squeezing out another texan

Ok, what am I missing here.

https://i.imgur.com/3f6KetI.jpg

https://www.amazon.com/Rise-Fall-Pillowcase-Wedding-Shower/dp/B017RUIWF0

Why aren't they "His" and "Her" pillowcases? Why aren't they "She" and "He" pillowcases?

"Him" and "Her" I mean.

Also, I could compile a weekly tumblr of nothing but real estate photos featuring electronic drum kits.

https://i.imgur.com/EaVjZ4a.jpg

It wouldn't be the most exciting blog ever, but

hahaha

Why aren't they "His" and "Her" pillowcases? Why aren't they "She" and "He" pillowcases?

it took me a minute but..

https://consequenceofsound.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/she-and-him.jpg

What this thread tells me is that Australians spend a lot more money on staging their homes as generic white boxes with awful art that people in other real estate state markets.

https://i.imgur.com/EhQWbLv.jpg

That isn't one of those "Oh! Haha" kinda pics that I spend too much time looking for online. And yet, it's stayed on my mind for the past 12 hours, since I saw it last night.

1.) The wall-to-wall carpeting.

2.) The vent near the middle of the sliding-glass door. Why?

3.) Note that I said near the middle. Another mark against this.

4.) Curtains in front of a sliding-glass door. Kinda feel it's gotta be vertical pleated blinds or nothing else, including the door.

5.) The space at the top between the curtains and the rod vs the extra slack drooped on the wall-to-wall carpeting.

6.) Each table has part of it folded over to the side. The chairs have minimal arm rests.

7.) The space at the top between the curtains and the rod vs. the space between the rod and what are literally rafters.

8.) The vacuum grooves in the wall-to-wall carpeting that imply that the frilly chair scoots around on its own.

9.) The rug on the wall-to-wall carpeting.

10.) And what's not shown in this photo: What on earth little elevated walkway is happening up here? See that plant on the right? Does it meet each wall and keep forming right angles?

2.) The vent near the middle of the sliding-glass door. Why?

This may have been a thing in the '70s. My first house as a kid had a vent right next to our upstairs porch door. Many mornings I spent camped out over that heat source with the cold winter glass behind my back.

wall-to-wall carpeting pretty normal in many parts of the world

W2WC is indeed everywhere.

I guess it's weird not to see a little tile in front of the door, an engawa to separate the deck from the rest of the house.

Goes along with no tile, but a vent. Lots of condensation on that window, I'd bet.

Curtains must flutter like a ghost.

the vent is to reduce the condensation by keeping the glass warm, so moist interior air doesn't bang into an ice-cold pane of glass and release moisture. (that is not an excuse for lousy design obv)

I'm seeing the reverse of that: ice-cold dry air blowing against a pane of glass with murky warm muggy conditions on the other side of it.

who puts a cold-air vent in the floor tho

The perspective of that photo makes it look like a dollhouse.

Yes! I don't know if it's just because we have a loft conversion with a pitched ceiling where the walls are literally half that height, but I spent a minute staring at it thinking "why is there a strange half-height window flush with the floor? And why are those chairs so tiny..."

It's very dollhouse looking furniture too.

The perspective definitely isn't helping matters.

who puts a cold-air vent in the floor tho

1.) Welcome to the American South.

2.) You can't have a vent dangling from the pitched ceiling rafters.

ok, i admit i can no longer remember where the vents where when i lived in the south, and actually the only ones i can specifically picture were in the floors.

Makes no sense though. That cold air isn't going to rise.

Those vents in the floor are so prevalent I can feel it on my feet as I walk on it.

My parents had huge rugs over wall to wall carpeting. I think they thought it was saving the carpeting from wear.

This room is the one adjacent to 237

Used to work with an energy efficiency expert who hosted his own Saturday morning talk show. "Where's the hottest part of the house in the summer? THE ATTIC! Where does every contractor want to put your air conditioning? IN THE ATTIC!"

the whole curtain situation is extremely DIY - flimsy curtain rod FIXED TO THE MOULDING argh. wrong length because it was just taken out of the package and put up. (if they'd actually fixed the rod where it ought to go it would be exactly the right height!)

i'm imagining the conversation that led to that curtain going up. the swearing involved.

you can see they've pushed the curtain a bit over next to the window to keep it clear of the vent.. i wonder how many times a week they have to do that

- what is so bad out the window that it was preferable to have the janky curtain closed for the photo?

I don't know, but please allow me to vent just one more time:

https://i.imgur.com/vLDnaIK.jpg

What's the symbolism of yellow roses on freshly vaccuumed w2w carpeting?

I don't know but those vacuuming patterns, it's like they're mowing the outfield at Wrigley

You can see Bob hiding behind the chair

They should do nutshell study photoshopped crime scene composites with these creepy real estate pics.

i will rep wall to wall carpeting 4 lyfe

O do you now, crüt.

https://i.imgur.com/7h82JzQ.jpg

i've lived in some weird w2w apartments

And Yerac's OTM about Nutshell scenes. Same would work for those cutout crime scene pix from Helter Skelter.

https://i.imgur.com/AAHxaSs.jpg

i would sit on those carpeted stairs, maybe sprawl out a little. v inviting

That's an air return vent to the right of the "stairs"*. Bet there's dust still there from 1991.

* When do "steps" turn into "stairs"?

@5

they're just dinky old steps if they're bare but if you put carpeting on them they become a complete staircase

the lighting is very Twin Peaksian
p sure bob is behind that curtain

I like how if you trip and fall on the carpeted steps the brick planters are there to soften your landing

Remember that Jeff Foxworthy joke about "If your NEW TV sits on top of your OLD TV...."?

https://i.imgur.com/B8M8UCE.jpg

the horror

Picture in picture taken to extremes

I'm overly cynical about many things, but I do admit to sometimes getting charmed by a real estate agent's perverse sense of optimism.

https://i.imgur.com/F579yfk.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/hKxx5OT.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/776kIwX.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/WBuhPUx.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/omamRlJ.png

harvest gold appliances are on their way back

Yeah, yeah. Let me know when I can sink my sweat equity into some paneled walls.

place looks dope imo

Still has its antenna, I'll give you that.

https://i.imgur.com/0iSPKT8.jpg

I get the same reaction from this being described as FRESH OUT OF A TIME MACHINE as I do when I see an '87 Tercel with antique car tags.

yeah I kinda like this house tbqh

looks like the right kind of place for a couple of dogs and about a thousand books. would redo the kitchen but that's a given w pretty much anywhere.

Thought y'all were trolling me until I found the pictures taken before the big move-out:

https://i.imgur.com/HACf13F.jpg

Anyone need an album cover?

https://i.imgur.com/Sgm8GZw.jpg

wow. unintentional Kubrick stills.

that off-centre picture frame would have driven me INSANE

My in-laws mounted a TV on their wall flush left. Like this:

|[ ] |

damn I thought that would look better. You get it.

I would buy that place in a heartbeat

wow. unintentional Kubrick stills.

I hate the fireplace between the two glass doors but rip out the carpeting and put in something non-carpet and I'll buy it.

the kitchen is bigger than my apartment. so yeah, i am gazing with envy at this janky house

You all gotta quit dreaming so large. I mean, this place would set you back $115,000, if you were serious about it.

I will srsly go in on this house with other ilxors, but only if we can get it with all of the original furniture and stuff.

I'm in

The ashtrays!!!!!

sewin’ and smokin’

https://66.media.tumblr.com/8cbada509dedd8e4783e546d2d0f7d2d/tumblr_pvvoiqEQKI1y9kkeqo1_1280.jpg

entering new dimensions

https://mikemonaco.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/escher_house-of-stairs.jpg

the ‘lol nothing matters’ school of interior design

Excellent find BG!

That's giving me severe anxiety.

Oh boy. I need to see another angle on those stairs, is there a door just out of shot or is that in fact the main upstairs access point? The possibilities are incredible.

It looks fun in a designed-by-madmen sort of way, but I imagine the novelty of almost dying every time you took a bath would get old real quick.

what's the little door near the floor for??

Y'all know what they say: Shit rolls downstairs.

https://i.imgur.com/TzZZoLx.jpg

what is happening w the bathrooms of america

I can see this, sometimes you get winded halfway up the stairs, so you gotta rest, if you gotta rest, you might wanna sit down, if you're already sitting down....?

oh my

what's the little door near the floor for??

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand)

poop hatch

related excellent thread:

reply with the worst design/architecture picture you have pic.twitter.com/ELhQc9rslY

— sarah schauer 🦂 (@SJSchauer) August 10, 2019

that kitchen in that thread with all the appliances together by the weird corner sink, I can literally feel all the doors hitting my knees and shins.

The main bedroom in the apartment I live in right now is a little odd. The shower and bathtub is completely open to the bedroom (which I actually like) and the toilet has no door and is just around a little wall and it faces the closet. You can play peekaboo when someone is using the toilet.

pic.twitter.com/cCXpJxkt7I

— Desta 💀💜 (@ColumbiaSkies) August 11, 2019

Glass floor i bet?

I’d take that bet

the emerald green room with the high-gloss ceiling is blowing my mind:

Bedrooms pic.twitter.com/ocqRRtBr2b

— Gacona (@MeBeGacona) August 11, 2019

I would totally preach from that pulpit bed. It rules.

https://66.media.tumblr.com/2ec976a6f2a610d8d2c143bef361a58e/tumblr_pwi2zmV4Xc1rrqskho1_400.jpg

There's room in the shower for a hot plate, missed opportunity.

Welcome to my (bath)room

Every object in that room just “is.” Here’s a rug. Here’s a shower enclosure. Here are some coat hangers. Here is light bulb.

https://twitter.com/bathroom

Have a nice click through the photos of this five bedroom blue-stone house with a swimming pool, rooftop view of the ports, detached chapel and butler's pantry.

Thanks for the warning

wtf

i appreciate how the portrait of alice cooper ties it all together

The agents have sequenced the Alice portrait perfectly in that gallery.

Hell of a tour

looks like the set from true detective season 5

a lot of places to hide.

Typical ManU fan.

"crusty demons" pillowcase

I'm not going to overthink this, but why would you keep paper towels in your bathroom?

https://i.imgur.com/N6w0Dm9.jpg

I'm not even going to mention the little step the counter takes to get down to the sink.

drying hands after washing them

I've never seen that in a residential bathroom. Not even in college.

me neither

My in-laws have a disposable paper towel dispenser in their bathroom that is different from kitchen paper towel rolls, it's more like a tissue box. but same idea. I guess people worry about passing germs via regular old handtowels? Or they think guests will worry about that? The wastefulness of it makes me crazy but tbf they do also have regular towels in there.

Also the lights above that mirror are a rush of nostalgia to my childhood bathroom, esp the fact that half of them are burnt out

^

the paper towels are just gonna absorb all the aerosolized poop the first time someone forgets to put the lid down before flushing

Regular TP just doesn’t cut it for some folks

Stop what you’re doing and look at the photos of this listing on Zillow. Whenever you think something is weird, just wait. JUST. WAIT. https://t.co/1Ws6Aou0LP

— Lindsay Kaplan (@lindsaykap) October 11, 2019

The pipe organ is pretty baller

WHOA, A POPCORN MACHINE????

ok lol

That was fun. "OK, I guess that was all the wild stuff this one had –– OH SHIT."

that was like eight different homes worth of home
Two stoves flanked by two massive inset microwaves!
also an oval office and like fourteen pools and a walkthru shower i guess?

Acreage suitable for personal Helipad.

The drum kits got me

I guess i should give a warning of clowns (scroll through). https://www.facebook.com/coastalpgi/photos/pcb.2408731502578374/2408703915914466/?type=3&theater

https://i.imgur.com/T9q28Qj.jpg

As God as my witness, I will never understand the state of Florida.

I wonder if she's related to Wes.

lol i came to post that wappingers falls house. don't miss the two microwaves on top of one another!

found this nearby so you can live inside first reformed https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/10-Liberty-St-Chelsea-NY-12512/242648911_zpid/?

https://i.imgur.com/Hvfth9B.png

"OKAY, EVERYONE, FAMILY MEETING!"

- "Thanks, Father McGillicudy, for coming by to bless our new house."

- "Why sure, it's my – wait, what is this."

I have 2 microwaves on top of each other. I moved into a furnished flat while already owning one and didnt know what to do with them both. Luckily they are tucked away so you'd have to really snoop (or read ilx) to find out my shame.

it's ok it's not like you custom designed your kitchen to have them and then inexplicably bought two different brands

each big enough for a thanksgiving turkey
or a child
or two children really
makes you think

The owner of the Wappingers Falls house has some amazing credits (playing on Tilt!)

https://www.allmusic.com/artist/greg-knowles-mn0000043500

I'm not sure I'd ever be satisfied with just a 2/3 scale replica of the Oval Office. If you're gonna do it

that explains his drum set collection but does not explain the rest of his choices such as his bedroombathroom

Nice find, jmm. I was thinking it was a possible Gospel producer, based only on the light blue walls and fluorescent lights in the panel ceiling.

That desk in the Oval Office made me wonder if Mayor Pete would be the first to bring a standup desk in there.

When I saw the first couple of exterior shots I'm like "weird, why doesn't this mansion have a pool?" and then later I'm all ooooooooooooh OK then

Two bed, two bath... two stories?

that may be the ugliest house i've ever seen. also alan why u capitalize every single word

oh i missed the flatness of it. ok. well whatever, it's ugly.

wtf it's a wedge?

pie house is extremely cool imo, all front lawns should be turned into community gardens or compact housing

I like the idea but it does totally have that built in 2003 look.

I thought it was one of those facade houses you see on a movie set, until I saw the actual listing.

I mean, don't sneeze too hard around that thing.

I do gotta say this house was made for those awful wide-angle shots they use in the listings.

I mean, Living Room Dim. 23 X 12. I almost wonder if it was built out of spite.

I just cracked myself up imagining the sound of all of harbl’s responses to that house as delivered by a pennsyltucky renovation contractor over a shitty PTT radio

I’m easily amused

https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/montlake-spite-house

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-65826048.html

absolutely fucking deranged

there's some kind of photoshop prankery going on here right?? what IS all that stuff everywhere on the walls? how is that one attic window even cut into that wall? the angles seem all screwed up!

electrical outlets?

but............ so MANY

Almost looks like it was previously full of hospital beds or something.

Even the shower had too many knobs.

Kinda curious what the stove range must've looked like.

I've also learned tonight what is a "chain-free" real estate deal.

Not crazy about "virtual staging," but at least it's pretty easy to spot:

https://i.imgur.com/3m4I8nS.jpg

While I can usually deduce if something is fake, now I'm having a hard time deciding if something's real:

https://i.imgur.com/AVY1DaB.jpg

The TV is definitely a virtual addition. The fireplace doesn't look right. And I about decided those couches were a figment of someone's imagination until:

https://i.imgur.com/9aAlfTZ.jpg

Those couches are floating, right? Then why go through all the trouble, but leave in the personal effects on the wall? But maybe the furniture is real.

https://i.imgur.com/xuYJ0xs.jpg

But seriously. Those televisions are weirding me out.

https://i.imgur.com/s8ZwWWo.jpg

ugh awful

10010101010101010100
IN THESE MOMENTS
TIME STOOD STILL
01010100101010101010

what if... none of the decor was real?

lol which way is that bed supposed to be made up??

tv_on_a_stool.jpg like it ain’t no thang

Maybe it really ain't no thang!

But man, I'll say this: There is some cheap real estate in El Paso, Texas.

it's bad if that is a neutral decor look.

Those are some ugly ass virtual couches

Hello would you like to rent our murder house "ultimate in private living" residence.

https://i2.au.reastatic.net/1563x1013-resize,extend,r=33,g=40,b=46/c312196423fb40d1ffdbc8c9eeb5a97b9448bd5550c23338a73259ff4a835d4d/image.jpg

Nothing to see here, in your lovely original features bathroom. No, the bathtub was always that colour that isnt covering up any stains what are you on about.

https://i2.au.reastatic.net/1563x1013-resize,extend,r=33,g=40,b=46/3f45f5a3c60b9616880d5dd0981a2fd7da57c99ec8bb00d5bc7e7bbc91e83987/image.jpg

This fucking cunt wants $530 a week for this small 2 bedroom shithole on a really crap street.

Yeah! Tell em bout (hit em where it hurts )

last five hours to buy a fixer-upper New York civil war mansion for 50k (with 4k annual property taxes). would that i had any handyman capabilities
https://derosaexchange.com/james-seymour-mansion
https://derosaexchange.com/seymour-mansion-interior

https://www.latimes.com/business/real-estate/story/2020-01-02/guns-bears-and-bizarre-designs-dr-phils-strange-beverly-hills-home-comes-to-market

What a fscking weirdo. This Dr should be giving out advice to no one

(he is not a licenced doctor btw)

i wouldn't have thought of dr phil as a kubrick bear fan

I've never been more repulsed by something so beautiful.

https://i.imgur.com/V3JH26q.jpg

that door just ruined my evening.

lol

D:

https://jalopnik.com/welcome-to-my-summer-cottage-1841520837

Year Built
2012

that's gotta be a spec house that's never been sold

people are so bad at building appealing mansions

if i can't imagine tiptoeing around it at night while holding a candlestick then im not interested

That house is ugly af

https://i.imgur.com/u4Gswtt.gif

every room has a different ceiling
i want to punch someone

"Well, putting a ramp down to the driveway would've been too steep."

https://i.imgur.com/3KD9dFS.jpg

Tbh, when considering handicapped access, the grade of the ramp can’t be too high or you risk creating much worse problems.

I get that.

This half-and-half concept is pretty bold though.

The front porch step is pretty high, and the rails are definitely made to support someone with working legs.

STILL.

I've been scratching my head really hard at why someone would want to design their back patio to look like a walkway in a public park

https://photos.zillowstatic.com/uncropped_scaled_within_1536_1152/ISfkowd3enp8301000000000.webp

Also baffling, but less so, from the same listing, is this oddly shaped built-in shelving arrangement.

https://photos.zillowstatic.com/uncropped_scaled_within_1536_1152/ISznoe98ol5i511000000000.webp

looks like they had a business in their basement

Noticed that was one of the few rooms where they didn't digitally insert a furniture arrangement. Guess the Realtors were stumped too.

looks like they had a business in their basement

― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Sunday, April 26, 2020 3:34 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

teaching "pole fitness" classes

i watched a bunch of youtube videos of a guy exploring vacant farmhouses because i watch whatever the algorithm recommends to me. then youtube suggested i would like to see videos of the "barndominium" phenomenon. oh boy. have you ever wanted to live in a 10,000 square foot house that looked like a plumbing supply store on the outside, but a bass pro shop on the inside, and was decorated by a pinterest mom? i can help.

I thought "barndominium" meant a barn conversion, but no they are LITERAL POLE BARNS. So yeah...no. Wow. Plumbing supply warehouse otm.

lol

I still don't get it. Is it a play on words of "condominium" or "pandemonium"?

definitely pandemonium, from the echo you could get going when you yell DINNER'S READY to all 11 of your kids who are located up to 500 yards away somewhere in your cavernous steel home

https://circlehdevelopment.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/barn-4.jpg

WHAT

lol this picture is definitely not the living quarters side of the barndo. or is it?

I'll see your church banquet room and raise you Mark Twain, John Wayne and James Dean.

Hey man alive, found some more park benches for ya.

https://i.imgur.com/PNPNkiv.jpg

Oh boy. I watched one video and the rustic bathroom had a million signs including one saying “Wash your hands and say your prayers because Jesus and germs are everywhere.”

i'm pretty sure i saw that one!

when you take away the realtor home tour shine these things leave me with a real warren jeffs and/or branch davidian feeling

10 Common Mistakes When Building a Barndominium

The first mistake must be building a barndominium.

“It feels so warm.”

What???

Yeah, Five Man Electrical Band would have a big problem staying in one of these places.

Even with all the room a five-man electrical band could have and more.

https://nationalland.com/watermark.php?src=listing1389346photo3.jpg

If you live in one you have to refer to it as "the compound." It's a rule.

https://i.imgur.com/niOnGDu.jpg

"Oh I wasn't supposed to shit in the sink? SORRY. DIDN'T SEE A SIGN for THAT!"

https://barndominiumlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/logo-final.png

https://i.imgur.com/ZMkCHoM.png

Well I don't know. Would I have to give up my worldly possessions or just my wife?

https://i.imgur.com/vk43wEW.jpg

4,950 SF and you've still got a room that looks like this.

https://i.imgur.com/3uY0OHr.jpg

"And righ cheer is where the lil' lady does her yogurt."

too many beds in one room is my 2nd favorite aesthetic after too many sofas in one room

how about too many pillows on one goddamn bed

which is totally a thing. idgi. when you go to sleep every night do you dump 6 pillows on the floor? HOW DO IT WORK

I don't think I want a curtain behind me when I'm sleeping, idk

https://barndominiumlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/5-4.jpg

lol how are the pictures hanging there.

Everything is terrible.

a place where you and your wives can sleep comfortably

i am so confused.

https://photos.zillowstatic.com/uncropped_scaled_within_1344_1008/IS2j7lwpgh7wf00000000000.webp

hate it when jaden and brayden drive their atvs into the house

https://photos.zillowstatic.com/uncropped_scaled_within_1536_1152/ISf0h5kp8e9gw60000000000.webp

stahhhp

wat

https://i.imgur.com/w6EtONk.jpg https://i.imgur.com/mbfQCJr.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/vYzKmUF.png

okay, this is bringing the lolz

searching the building code for "door to nowhere" and coming up empty

I thought "barndominium" meant a barn conversion, but no they are LITERAL POLE BARNS

quick question: what is a pole barn

probable followup: ok so what is a barn then

Pole buildings and barns use a post-frame construction where laminated wood posts make up the bulk of the framing. The roof utilizes trusses connected by purlins. The exterior consists of steel panel claddings that “hold” the structure together. Contrary to popular belief, the construction does not include poles, or interior columns.

By contrast, a stick-frame building contains a basement or crawlspace over which builders construct the building. The frame also requires a concrete foundation for support. Due to the construction of the foundation, building costs are far higher.

barn is just a shed that’s putting on airs

I can't 100% lie, the most/only appealing part of this whole proposal is the idea of having my beloved scooters, bicycles, future motorcycles, etc, in easy reach and having a convenient workshop. I used to know someone who had a freight elevator in her apt that allowed her to bring motorcycles inside and that's kinda the dream.

i feel like that can be solved by 'having a really big garage' rather than 'having your entire house be a garage'

Sure. Clearly no thought has been given to cold climate-living in these things with giant garage doors open to your cavernous living spaces. Every one of them is impossible to heat.

was gonna say i can only imagine the heating costs. i bet propane (and propane accessories) play a part.

as a barndominium expert, having watched too many of these videos, they all seem to be built with super mega insulation and use splits to air condition portions separately but it's still like air conditioning a mall and your heat would just go all to the ceiling. the one i was watching yesterday was explaining that because the bathroom is so far away from the hot water heater there is a motion sensor that turns on a motor when you enter the bathroom so that it moves hot water to the bathroom in anticipation of you turning on the sink or shower. lol. it's all just the most american thing.

that’s wild

i don't know how i'd keep a space that huge clean... wouldn't there be critters in there all the time?

thought this thread must have been revived for this modestly priced abode

This 7 bedroom converted church in London is currently for sale for £44,000,000. I’m obsessed.
Original listing: https://t.co/ybbOUCuNbu pic.twitter.com/CGwjZGmcop

— Anthony 🌭 (@anorderlymess) April 26, 2020

i'd rather live in a barndo than that

Barndominiums look like gigantic trailer homes to my eyes. That's a lot of sheet metal flying around during a tornado.

APS, that one above looks awesome. Needs more Grape Nehi signs though.

There's a cool B&B in Kingston NY that's a converted church.

£44 million could buy a lot of barndos.

heck, it would be straight up barndomania

quick question: what is a pole barn

probable followup: ok so what is a barn then

― donald failson (sic), Monday, April 27, 2020 7:21 PM (yesterday)

Pole buildings and barns use a post-frame construction where laminated wood posts make up the bulk of the framing. The roof utilizes trusses connected by purlins. The exterior consists of steel panel claddings that “hold” the structure together. Contrary to popular belief, the construction does not include poles, or interior columns.

That seems clear enough (ddg's "purlins"), sure, got it.

By contrast, a stick-frame building contains a basement or crawlspace over which builders construct the building. The frame also requires a concrete foundation for support. Due to the construction of the foundation, building costs are far higher.

― forensic plumber (harbl), Tuesday, April 28, 2020 1:18 AM (three hours ago)

ok... so........ what is a barn then

p sure the first barndominium was in the film Roadhouse

xp issa wee lass er lassie innett?

a barn is a building that has that roof shape

a barn is a garage for cows

A barn is a sanctuary in a unsettled world, a sheltered place where life's true priorities are clear. When you take a step back, it's not just about horses – its about love, life, and learning. ... Indeed, horses have the hearts of warriors and often carry us into and out fields of personal battles.

also ATVs

sic hasn't anyone ever asked you, "were you raised in a barn?"

Only if you were behaving in that manner indicative of the particular shape aloft

Now there’s going to be a generation of kids who were raised in barns.

When they grow up, perhaps they will raise barns.

https://i.imgur.com/mN4ejm9.jpg

these barndos are fucking me up guys

people have a lot shit

of

sic hasn't anyone ever asked you, "were you raised in a barn?"

they never asked me “was it a barn, a pole barn, or a pole building that you were raised in?”

feel like harble should've been quarantined for two weeks after watching those videos because now we're all infected with barndomania.

can't bolt the barndo now that the harbl's already out.

i want to search barndos on youtube but i probably need to do it in incognito b/c i don't want the harbl algorithm

"I mean think about it. What if instead of a chandelier, we just hung up a gigantic dream catcher. Like, five feet in diameter. That'd set the mood for this place, right?"

what if instead of one modular sofa we had like, seven of them. and three fireplaces.

i'm still awake because i don't exercise or do anything anymore, and i need to show you something in the sofa realm

https://youtu.be/Brb1Kx8jfYw?t=101

my youtube algorithm is just...you wouldn't believe it. i have a real "museum" of interests, you could say.

i think that is the one with all the bathroom signs, also

“what kind of counter is that?”
“i think it’s a black...leather...granite”
that exchange took such a right turn on me i had to lie down

and lol harbl that was exactly the kind of couch-tetris set I was picturing before you posted that video

So many horseshoes.... And I'm including the couches and leather bar counters in that as well.

That is the bathroom sign one.

https://i.imgur.com/zsB0cy6.jpg

Not a zinger, but the altar where I had my First Communion looked a lot like this.

this thread has taken a really depressing turn.

These Barndos are killing me.

I don't get the sides of the barndominium with metal signs advertising Shell, Texaco, Mobile, Exxon, Sinclair, Phillips 66... There was never a wall that had all that crap in one place before, why now?

Might as well have a wall for McDonalds, Burger King, Waffle House, Denny's, Texas Barnhouse Steak Place, Starbucks. Would make about as much random sense as the other ones.

wait where is that one

i've got one more for "y'all" https://youtu.be/Xi0Qh4fX2Tk?t=377
i'm planning a bedroom in my house right now and i'm really drawing some great inspiration from this disaster

same guy as built that kitchen you just posted. i confess i am a little into his thing for sealed concrete floors :/

guys i think i might be a barndoholic

I'm sure there's barns you can barndofy out in like Howard County right?

um since i got a new job i have already been on zillow looking at frederick county farm property. oh no it's happening isn't it

Mine will be exclusively decorated with BARN messages.

BARN sweet BARN
BARN is where the BARN is
Live. Laugh. BARN.

I'd rather be BARN

My other BARN is a BARN

xpost, i like polished concrete floors too. I do not like these barndos though.

Oh dear god the christmas decorations

i've got one more for "y'all" https://youtu.be/Xi0Qh4fX2Tk?t=377
i'm planning a bedroom in my house right now and i'm really drawing some great inspiration from this disaster

― forensic plumber (harbl), Tuesday, April 28, 2020 9:53 AM bookmarkflaglink

Aggies. Should have known.

Here are the metal signs I was talking about.

https://i.imgur.com/uyE85bF.jpg

"As you can see, here in the bedroom we have the 'Don Quixote' Suite..."
https://i.imgur.com/0Usg9JR.jpg

"And over motherfucking here, we've got a Big Ass Fan for your Big Ass Shithouse."
https://i.imgur.com/KHc0jHW.jpg

If your kitchen looks like one of the two below, fine. I've been there. I lived in a trailer with my single mom when I was a kid. I was a bachelor living with five other guys in college. I'm not here to judge...

https://i.imgur.com/mRu74z9.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/K6SqxiX.jpg

...EXCEPT IF YOU PAID $1 MILLION DOLLARS FOR A 6000-SF BARNDOMINIUM TO DECORATE THIS WAY.

The kids rooms in every one of these are 80% more drab and depressing than any 300-SF bedroom shared by two siblings with applesauce cups all over the place.

https://i.imgur.com/8Hg0kp4.jpg

Speaking of depressing, welcome to The Grand Hall of Barndoanadu:

https://i.imgur.com/GU3U3DP.jpg

there was an article in the WSJ last year about the founder of big ass fans shopping for a manhattan townhouse. he has really good taste!

ugh that kid room is so upsetting

seriously, this thread went from fun to nihilistic.

we needed a 72" fan for our place and that name kept coming up. they have a crazy good reputation but they're really pricey.

find a need and brand it

with ass

you gotta expect to pay for ass

that kids room is just boring, nothing of note i dont think. people really like their layers of browns.

The Big Ass moniker evolved over time, said Mr. Smith, 67. The ventilation company, which produces fans for residential, commercial and heavy-duty industrial use, some priced (before the company sold) as high as $10,000, was originally known as the High Volume Low Speed Fan Company. But “people would call and say ‘Are you those guys who make those big ass fans?’” Mr. Smith remembered. After they renamed the company, critics called Mr. Smith to say he was going to hell and that he was contributing to a general coarsening of American culture, he said. “Preachers and ding dongs,” he dubbed them.

lol kinda tough tho cos upon seeing the name the first time i thought for sure it was owned by some meathead monster energy type of bro. kinda fun that it isnt

i'm a fan of "Live Laugh BARN"

big ass fans always use to advertise in Harpers and The Atlantic

it's hard to imagine, but I think I actually hate Texas more than i did 24 hours ago. That's saying something.

https://i.imgur.com/UKJbKBx.jpg

Ah, so that's where they got the phrase "Western Swing".

And they say Americans aren't ready yet for bidets.

https://i.imgur.com/QUpQhLG.jpg

"As you can see, here in the bedroom we have the 'Don Quixote' Suite..."
https://i.imgur.com/0Usg9JR.jpg

again with like 9 pillows on your bed. idgi. where do they do when you sleep??

where do they GO i mean

The kids' bunkbed with three bunks and only 14" of headroom per person was BLEAK. There was enough room for another bed in there but okay I guess channel some kind of prison camp that's fine!

coming here late to say

Fans, Grass or Ass: no one rides for free

urinal in your home, truly living the dream

beer keg urinal, no less.

amazing

xpost, woah on my phone didn't notice that 😍😍😍

recycling hyuk hyuk hyuk

Back to basics, my favorite reoccurring event on residential listings:

https://i.imgur.com/xzIIC2Y.jpg

what in the hell is that brick wall there for

that looks like a plaster wall put up by a photographer

That was exactly my question at first too.

that's a mirror, right?

That's a mirror.

And the photographer is peeking the lens through a crack in the open door.

ohhhhh. i was wondering about the open door. it was hard to figure out!

The range, cabinet and fridge look a lot closer in the mirror than they really sholuld. Plus, the shelf that's hidden from its own reflection due to the wall coming out.

Shelves.

https://i.imgur.com/TJPRaDb.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/bd4DZoP.jpg

trompe l'oeil

Not an image, but I've been puzzling over what this description means. It's like Schroedinger's Listing

The house is in good repair and move in condition, but needs renovation and updating. This is the perfect starter home. Home being sold "As Is"

lol - is anything ever sold as anything OTHER than 'as is'??

'Used bicycle - $200. if you buy it i will quickly do some repairs on it for free'

well most times you buy a house you can ask owner to make repairs, i got a new roof for example

The bigger question for me is how something can be in “move in condition” and also “need” renovation.

“you can live here just fine but all the fixin’s are dated as hell”

^ my house irl

a good real estate agent would know nothing is ever dated, rather it's charmingly retro

I drive a car that's in good repair and running condition, but believe me, it could also stand to be fixed and worked on.

man, if i saw this kitchen in an NYC apartment listing i would be salivating... that fridge is hideous and mismatched but just look at all that counter space! the only real problem with the mirror wall thing is the lack of a good visual boundary between it and the fake brick wall beneath. fix that and throw in a more colorful paint job and i'd be sitting pretty.

tbf, a barndo manhattan listing would go for mid nine figures

I mean, I was looking at some of those barndos and thinking, "Could this be acceptable in an industrial loft?"

Except for the fact that I have a gas range, that kitchen is probably more recently updated & has better features than the one in my apartment (which I think it's dates to mid-to-late 1950s tho it is "cute"). And it's eat-in!!

we got a new stove/refrigerator in the past year when our early 80's models burnt out but i would otherwise trade up to that kitchen in a heartbeat
new york sucks

Eh my bf's house in the country is modest, 1920s-ish, and the kitchen is small and not eat-in and doesn't have much counter space. It's a design flaw. It's not just NYC.

new york sucks for other reasons, epicenter of a mass pandemic comes to mind

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-90092834.html

actual lol when the first image loaded

the interior is pretty good too, love the armchairs and tv setup in the kitchen

the chair up against the kitchen counter... I imagine it was a progression.

- I want to watch TV while I work in the kitchen
- My legs are tired I'd like to be able to sit down for a break
- My eyes are going- better scoot closer
- This chair is uncomfortable better upgrade to a recliner
- I need a surface to put my meal while I eat during my shows