So when was the last time you had a cock in your mouth?

i am posting with a cock in my mouth right now

coq au vin

male; never :(

What if you could stretch your foreskin to touch your tongue when youthful and in search of autofellatio? I guess that's not really 'in'. You will find the Suggest Ban button conveniently located after 'Bookmark'.

Where it says, "I am male and I've had anal sex in the past 48 hours", of course it means "I am male and I've had a cock in my mouth in the past 48 hours". A totally understandable typo, I think you'll agree.

So come on now, get your cocks out of your mouths and start voting and posting, denizens of the TMI board!

having a cock in your mouth for the past 48 hours would be amazing if inconvenient.

I have a feeling this poll is gonna be a landslide for boring straight guy answers.

xpost

Not "for" the past 48 hours, young Ken, but "in" the past 48 hours. A minor and yet crucial difference, I feel. But we're waiting with impatience for your answer, Mr "I sbed your mum Ken C". So come on and spill the beans (as it were)!

Surely even some boring straight guys, if they're being totally honest, might have had an experimental cock in their mouths at some point of their sexual development?

i do like my cock avant-garde

why is tmi_friday posting on wednesday

One of life's many mysteries, I guess! By the way, when was the last time you had a cock in your mouth, Max?

sigh

are you typing down there?

Ah, History Mayne! The scourge of Islamist apologists, despiser of all things K Punk, nuanced commentator on the works of Joseph Strick! Glad to have you on the thread! I am sure you will regale us all with your stories of cocks in your mouth!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_l9wAAp8Qwo0/SzqBjU40DlI/AAAAAAAAAmc/blY2n0R91yo/s640/momcaked.jpg

Well! I'm not sure that was quite what the fine scholars on either side of me here in the British Library were expecting to see, Mr. Enfonce bien tes ongles et tes doigts délicats dans la jungle de (Michael White)! (Et avec un beau nom comme ça, je ne peux qu'imaginer que votre bouche n'est pas tout à fait étranger à l'expérience d'être bourrée de bite... Allez ! Racontez-nous !)

Je crois que c'est 'étrangere, que tu voulais écrire.

take it to De Subjectivisten

Je présume que vous vouliez dire étrangère, avec 2 accents ? Faire une faute en corrigant la faute d'un autre, c'est bien plus gênant que d'avoir fait la faute originale, Mr. Enfonce bien etc. !

Ha ha!

There was a Savage Love column where he said "Don't wake guys up with a bj bcz they might pee in your mouth." This sounds both ridiculous and terrifying. Do you men think if you were woken by a loved one's mouth on your cock that your body's reflex would be "I must urinate without thinking"?

that is actually my reaction to everything, so

seems really unlikely, but I do usually go to the toilet right after waking up

http://static.squidoo.com/resize/squidoo_images/-1/draft_lens2408321module13748773photo_1233561537eating_chicken_with_fingers.jpg

I have more dreams about sexytime than dreams about peeing, so probably not.

"Don't wake guys up with a bj bcz they might pee in your mouth."

What? That sounds p ridiculous imo. Plus, I thought it was difficult for dudes to pee while hard.

why is tmi_friday posting on wednesday

this is cracking me the fuck up

btw "difficult" and "impossible" are two very distinct things, just saying

(just saying I will pee in yr mouth if you wake me with a bj, I mean)

Wake me up before you blow me
'Cuz I'm not planning on going peepee

French Alarm Clocks are exquisite! Morningwood is partly predicated on one's inability to pee while hard; don't worry.

hahaha thank you Abbott

So not going to blow HI DERE in the morn, now. :(

I guess it isn't a merry Christmas after all

Doubt that I'd spontaneously pee, but when I woke up I'd probably have to pause the BJ. Especially if there had been booze the night before.

Sssh, just go and piss, godammit, and get back in bed. It's cold fer Chrissakes.

xpost

I thought it was difficult for dudes to pee while hard

I sawed this Mythbusters episode. "plausible" iirc.

Y'all are seriously weird. I'd wake up as happy as if the very angel Gabriel(le, hopefully) had visited me, but then, I wake up with such determined wood that it's most unlikely, even if I did really have to piss, that I would do anything more than say, "My sweet, sweet love, do excuse me whilst I micturite. I shall be back in a jiffy."

Michael's genital protocol: Testes/prostate>>>>>>>>>bladder

(/TMI)

surely a more appropriate question for this forum would be "when was the last time someone had YOUR cock in their mouth?"

What if you could stretch your foreskin to touch your tongue when youthful and in search of autofellatio?

could you?

YOU DONT HAVE TO ANSWER THAT

I can touch my toes. Watch! I just bend down like this and...

xp - you're just a big ol' party pooper john!

you had to bring feces into this

What if your partner tries to wake you up with a rimjob?

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Imagining chipmunk cheeks, here, frankly.

I am male and I've had anal sex in the past 48 hours

morning rimjobs are great tho the possibility of funk is increased at that time of the day

had to calculate whether it was in the past 48 hours or week, tbh.

Resolved Question

When I recieve a lot of sexual pleasure why do i pee. well i think its pee (gay male)?

Sometimes during when I'm getting anal sex I feel the urge to pee even without touching my penis. Or if Im getting a ******** sometime i feel like i need to pee.
Its happen to me on 2 occasions. once during sex I actualy peed but not just once but several times during intercoure. I was confused though because it was sticky pee. but too liquidy to be ***. I'm not sure what it is to be honest.
has any one else had this expierience

sticky pee

Or if Im getting a ******** sometime i feel like i need to pee.

???????

********
erection

So glad we've had this stimulating conversation.

xxp - sandwich vs pizza

can't pee on u

Piss sandwich??

Or if Im getting a ******** sometime i feel like i need to pee.

???????

a) sandwich
b) pizza
c) taco
d) suggest ban

What kind of taco?

THE WORD IS ERECTION

NOT PIZZA NOT TACO

Sticky P sounds like the name of a rapper.

Sticky Pizza

I've only ever played with second-hand erector sets

Teflon pizza sounds unappetizing

M. White, i'm with you re: morning protocol unless i haven't taken a half-conscious leak at 4 am. sleepy face yawny mouth next to me probably won't give me a beej but his butt's there so x-post

probably won't give me a beej but his butt's there so x-post

New user name?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a1/Bejam02.jpg

hey everyone here's my ranking of male parts in my mouth best to last best in case u were wondering:

lips
cock / asshole / crack (THREE-WAY TIE)
balls
neck
armpits
fingers
chest / nipples
arms
toes / feet

Thanks, jaymc was too shy to ask.

armpits arghhhhhhhhh

seriously - armpits and feet should be tied for dead last.

I always liked female armpit. i want to lick the armpit of my ex gf.we are still good friends.how can i lick?
after we broke up she had relation with few guys also had sex with them. i only want to lick the armpit thats it. nothing else is needed by me. i also gave her sleeveless kameez as gift she wore but her hand was not lifted. help me please

friends with armpits

is that why that guy was so adamant about getting that lost myspace password thing deleted?

Freshly washed armpits and feet can be okay.

armpits are concave.

armpits areconcaves

they don't have stalagtites or stalagmites though

http://www.caricatures-ireland.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/picasso-cat-eating-bird.jpg

One hopes, sarahel. One hopes.

the hairs are the stalactites

well they'd be both depending on which part they're on, right?

And whether they're sticking up or hanging down

Sticky-Uppy Hair

the hair above the crease would be stalactites, the hair below would be stalagmites

http://i47.tinypic.com/wv8q2p.jpg

that is some beautifully rococo underarm hair

Sweet jesus what's going on here?

Also fwiw I've never had anyone pee in my mouth regardless of wait time of day fellatio ocurred so I don't really think this should be a concern when considering whether or not to go down on someone first thing in the a.m..

The concern was if they were already asleep and it was like 'oh surprise I'm gonna put my mouth on the little sandman here.'

Yeah no, I got that part and my previous answer still stands.

Whereas a guy can wake a gal all he wants by putting his cock in her sleeping mouth & not have to worry one whit about pee. Gender inequity!

http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/2238/bingoaj6.jpg

LOL I have actually had this said to me. Not that long ago.

She was right, too. I would have been annoyed.

You know you're in a good spot in life, or a really awkward one, when you can just be like, "shoo, not now, stop doing that" when someone's trying to fellate you

xp - I confused this with the ecigarette thread and got confused.

xp Oral sex is something I can do without for months at a time. Sleep is something I can't do without for more than a day, at least not with significant ill effect. The choice seems obvious.

Do you get blow jobs that last eight hours or something?

when you can just be like, "shoo, not now, stop doing that" when someone's trying to fellate you

Do you get blow jobs that last eight hours or something?

jesus god, I hope not. Not if they're done properly, amirite?

so, how can it be an either/or situation? It's like 25 minutes to an hour less of sleep. Most guys I know see/would see that as more than a fair trade.

i've deprived myself of a lot more sleep for a lot less satisfaction lately so yeah, umm, what???

There's also the issue of the sleep hard-on not being the best one to bring to climax. Impossible, sometimes. It's as if this was an erection achieved by a whole different part of the brain, nearly a whole different person, and trying to utilize it to satisfy such temporal urges is tricky. You have to turn it into a different sort of erection, which can be taxing on the brain. And yeah, I'd rather stay asleep. Don't wake me up and give me a JOB.

umm, what???

What's so godawful crazy about the idea that I might not be in the mood? The idea that men are always ready to go is annoying to me. I'm not.

In answer to the thread question: somewhere between 10 and 12 years, but I can't remember exactly. I do remember being envious that it was bigger and prettier than mine. :(

xp - I'm sorry that idea annoys you - my most recent experience was with someone who was ready to go 90% of the time. He would occasionally attempt intercourse in his sleep.

Don't be sorry... you have done nothing wrong.

Mr. Sleepy Humpy might have some things to apologize for, though.

re the original thread question -- 2 weeks ago, and i have a date for saturday.

Mr. Sleepy Humpy might have some things to apologize for, though.

Yes he does, but that has been thoroughly covered in the various threads to get over a break up though.

:(

Didn't mean to bring the thread down.

Not a problem - it was occasionally an issue when I was on my period.

And asleep.

btw: Good luck, surm! You deserve only the finest cocks in your mouth.

xp - the issue revolved around having something already inserted in that body cavity.

Otherwise you wouldn't have minded? My, aren't you a sport!

Sometimes I'd pretend I was still asleep to discourage him. Sometimes, I think I did sleep through his attempts. I'm a pretty sound sleeper.

My mental pictures of all this are far too hilarious to put into words. I wish I could draw.

This is ilx - ability is not important.

Nah -- I'm not even proficient with Paint.

the armpit cave picture was done in fireworks.

Ok but I'm not going to do a GIS for "sleep rape", not even as a starting point for the great art that might ensue.

first result

http://forced-porn-movies.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/wp-contentuploadsrape-2dwhile-2dsleep-small.jpg

on THAT note... I'm off to shower, then use my nad towel on my butt crack, sniff it thoroughly, and I'll be back before you can say "Suck my cock."

Certainly before you want to.

That was quick...

pre-emptive. Now I'm done.

premature, I'd say...

It was all you. You do excite me so.

gonna predict here that dudes who're in the habit of saying "not now, it's not exactly the perfect time" will, on their deathbeds, bitterly regret said habit

I still think they're lying.

just checked the O.E.D. actually & "I don't want that beej just now" is def. # 11 for "coy"

Listen, this started with the idea of being woken up with a beej. I do not want one in the middle of the goddamn night. You don't either, you just don't know it because no one is offering one.

Hey! Too much talk about receiving, not enough about giving. The world is waiting to know when the m0unt41n g04t man last had a cock in his mouth!

Hereadic Pride

Surely there's a back issue of MRR

Mr Weingarten, you are a man of mystery. My Google search for "Hereadic" throws up only six hits, one of which is from a forum and states: "I might be a hereadic but i know what fills a bunch o ole coons bellies." Is this the "hereadic" to which you refer? And, more to the point, when was the last time you had a cock in your mouth, Mr Weingarten?

I have long been a man in search of an ILX handle

Ok I'm thinking twice about that one.

Still in the market.

lookin' atcha k-boy

there should be a unicode character for "thumbs up"

I think Richard Pryor once talked about waking up "harder than Chinese arithmetic."

Yeah the crazy thing about the morning hard-on is that it's harder than you were even dreaming about your dick being. You can play drums against the door frame with this monster. After the age of about 15, the only time your dick gets that hard is when you're asleep.

Sadly, this does not necessarily make it a practically functional erection.

My doctor brother once told me that your average man gets hard several times a night in his sleep, and that the standard method of testing whether impotence is psychological or physical is to attach a measuring contraption to the man's penis as he sleeps to see whether it gets hard or not.

Just throwing that out there.

You can play drums against the door frame with this monster.

new videogame idea: Rock Hard Band

xp Just tossing that thought off, are you?

Sadly, this does not necessarily make it a practically functional erection.

If it's sturdy and unflappable, this might be its most functional moment, for the partner at least.

Personally, I'd find it hard to get to sleep with a measuring contraption on my penis, but there you go, I suppose these medical wallahs know what they're doing.

Aw, so this ISN'T Kate: The Return?

Shh. It's science. Don't ask questions.

This all reminds me of the Onion's Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?.

When I typed "onion why" into Google, it filled out "onion why do all these homosexuals" for me.

Google knows things about you, EZ.

That's one of my favorite all-time Onion articles.

"Believe me, I have no interest in getting my cock sucked by some queer. But try telling that to the guy at the beach club."

Hey! Too much talk about receiving, not enough about giving. The world is waiting to know when the m0unt41n g04t man last had a cock in his mouth!

thanks for driving me off a fun thread dude

can somebody fucking googleproof my day job, thanks

GOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLDEN SLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLUMMMMMBERS FILLLLL YOUR MOUTTTH

nobody's gonna find you by googling "the m0unt41n g04t man" you preening narcissist

it's just a drag to post to ILTMI and have people go out of their way to ID me onthread, is all, you fucking asshole.

xp Yeah, you have described John D. to a t. Aaaaaalways about himself and his band.

well it is I Love Too Much Information - sounds like u were warned bud

chill, cank.

yeah I know I'm just always expecting better than "hey let me call a guy posting under a pseud by his day job name, that'll be great!" so yeah you have a point - years of "wow, really?" should have taught me better by now

(xpost to cankles obv)

He meant googleproof his dayjob as "cocksucker"

whiney OTM, competition is stiff

I'm happy for mods to remove offending identifier from my post. But surely most of your fans already know you post here.

how hard is it not to mention someone's day job

stfu u preening librarian

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a163/Pizlop/GIFs/curses-foiled-again.jpg

googleproofed - plz carry on w/whatever the hell is going on here

I unreservably apologise for identifying someone's band on this thread. I would like a mod to remove said mention. Now let us please return to the subject of cocks in mouths.

The world is waiting to know when the cock mouth man last had a mountain in his goat!

I'm happy for mods to remove offending identifier from my post. But surely most of your fans already know you post here.

yeah I mean it may be - when I think harder, identifiability isn't so much the issue as "how would you like it if some totally unrelated aspect of your life, such as your job, kept getting dragged onto threads" - except that nobody can do that to you, but let me assure you, it's just a minor bummer that adds up & then I get cranky. I prefer to be addressed by the name my mother gave me, which is "Herodcare for the Unborn."

sorry to be all cock-in-mouth tmi_friday about this ok this is obv. my issue

back 2 cocks

aww i like it when people make up

make up beej

kiss cocks, make up

wear make up, make cocks kiss, happy new year

my evil plan revealed

givin' some herod

hark the herod angels sing

hott in her(od)

ayo

I guess J0hn D. is not going to answer my question then :(

back 2 cocks
back 2 reality

lol

we don't need another herod

I guess J0hn D. is not going to answer my question then :(

I voted "I am female and I've had a cock in my mouth in the past 48 hours," which goes some ways toward telling you why some people do not think I should be allowed to vote on things

ITS HARD TO POST WITH A DICK IN MY MOUTH

--Bikini Kill

totally agree, women should not be allowed the vote xp

totally agree, women should not be allowed the vote

did u know there's actually a small subset of fundies who believe this

Missing option is obv "I am female and I've had a cock in my mouth FOR the past 48 hours"

Also likely a fundie vote.

small, but rock hard (in our convictions) xp

other missing option is "I am male and I've never not had a cock in my mouth"

those fundies have a firm stance on things

"I am a U.S. senator and I have had, etc., etc."

Enough of this. When do we talk about clitties?

Never Learned Not To Cock

tip: only five year olds call them clitties

This poll sucks.

tip: only five year olds call them clitties

"tip"

I'm perfectly amenable to someone setting up a clitoris poll. Over here, though, it's cocks, cocks and more cocks. In mouths.

other missing option is "I am male and I've never not had a cock in my mouth"

I'm imagining a man suspended in a jar of goo à la The Matrix, only his jar is in the bathroom stall on the end.

I'm perfectly amenable to someone setting up a clitoris poll. Over here, though, it's cocks, cocks and more cocks. In mouths.

― tmi_friday, Thursday, December 31, 2009 4:03 PM (46 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i kind of really like you

i did a little research and the last confirmed instance of herodcare here having a cock coming out of his mouth is during track 9 of a 2002 album although that's as part of a bigger word. you have to go back to 1993 for cock on its own.

'clitties' is something even i will barely tolerate

tip: only five year olds call them clitties

No one calls them clitties. Five year olds are not given this info, as beyond the extreme basics it's doled out on a strictly need-to-know basis.

'clitties' is something even i will barely tolerate

I think we've located the source of at least one problem here

No one calls them clitties.

1 - 10 of about 2,460 for "benny hill" clitties

ok fine all language is valuable

benny hill is dead

clitties has no value.

New! From Hasbro! It's The Clitties!

it does now xp

What's with all this clit talk on my cock thread?

The lost clitty of Xanadu.

What's with all this clit talk on my cock thread?

He's right, you guyz. But this really does call for a clitty thread. Or a clit thread. Or not even clit specific. Something about someone's face being down in it.

that clitties version of "mr. que" (acoleuthic),

WTF

i win

Weird. Ok.

No one calls them clitties.

1 - 10 of about 2,460 for "benny hill" clitties

― The Hood Won't Jump (Eazy), Thursday, 31 December 2009 16:08 (6 minutes ago)

clit in the hood

hoods on the right, wild for the night

clit in the front

Clits up, cocks down.

what the

I thought it was difficult for dudes to pee while hard.

Difficult but fun!

ITS HARD TO POST WITH A DICK IN MY MOUTH

--Bikini Kill

― that sex version of "blue thunder." (Mr. Que), Thursday, December 31, 2009 10:54 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark

LOL <3

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

lol boring straight dudes

yay ilx women tho

*puts some cock in mouth*

poor gays not gettin laid :(

I am male and I've had anal sex in the past 48 hours 0

step up yo game

lol xpost

The fact that the most common female answer is "I've had a cock in my mouth in the past 48 hours" gives me hope for any future relationships.

so much for the myth of gay promiscuity?

that's kinda hellaciously crepey xp

snoball's chance

I meant taking ILXors to be representative of the population in general.

but yeah, crepey if it's taken to mean just the ladies of ILX

yeah i'm struggling to extract the creepiness in a dude hoping to get his dick sucked tbh. that's pretty much normal state of play?

maybe, but this is one of the classier threads on "I Love Too Much Information" so i can see louis's point.

that's kinda hellaciously crepey xp

― Electric Universe (wherever that is) (acoleuthic), Tuesday, January 5, 2010 7:35 PM

http://images.uulyrics.com/cover/b/billy-joel/album-glass-houses.jpg

^^^ the opening track on that album is "You May Be Right" (which starts with the sound of glass breaking)

I admit "hellaciously crepey" might apply if my comment was interpreted as refering to the 5 ladies of ILX who voted the 48 hour option.
I feel like Bill Clinton now, and...
ah heck, where's kenan when you need him?!

If ever I needed another reason to stop even remotely entertaining the thought of pursuing straight guys ...

^^^ the opening track on that album is "You May Be Right" (which starts with the sound of glass breaking)

― an executive by day and a wild man by night (snoball), Tuesday, January 5, 2010 7:43 PM

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=1006052649871

it just seems predicated on hello future girlfriend being amenable to suck cock whenever, which isn't how it should be. these results do not correlate to an active and fulfilled relationship! but the thought process - "yay women are always sucking cock! therefore yay if I have a gf she will suck my cock so much!" is flawed and kinda objectifies women

it's on a thread about sucking cock for fuck's sake. guy didn't fly a plane with the banner streaming over a funeral

i don't think anyone else thought he was being particularly serious?

lj chill

sorry :( yeah that was maybe a bit oversensitive of me

chill out jagger

http://www.madeyalooks.com/albums/album01/BobMarleyMickJaggerPeterTosh.jpg

i misread your display name as "not a reactionary gif"

'misread' past or present tense?

it just seems predicated on hello future girlfriend being amenable to suck cock whenever, which isn't how it should be.

whoa whoa what

speak 4 youre saelf Buddy.

it's on a thread about sucking cock for fuck's sake. guy didn't fly a plane with the banner streaming over a funeral

I take it news of my behavior at the funeral yesterday has traveled already - sorry about that everybody

it just seems predicated on hello future girlfriend being amenable to suck cock whenever, which isn't how it should be. these results do not correlate to an active and fulfilled relationship!

They do correlate to an active and fulfilled penis, however.

Jesus Louis what's with you and being so sensitive about lady's issues lately? His post wasn't offensive at all.

lady's - ? Jesus, I'm exhauted. Should have been "LADIES'" - obv.

http://kara.allthingsd.com/files/2009/11/Chess_piece_-_White_knight.JPG.jpeg

"yay women are always sucking cock! therefore yay if I have a gf she will suck my cock so much!" is flawed and kinda objectifies women

well hopefully, if she's your gf, she isn't sucking some other guy's cock, unless you have an "understanding."

I think "it's just like wanking (or being wanked) into their mouth" pretty much describes what a blowjob is. What did you think it was? Was it like, "Look ma, no hands!" and bobbing up and down on your dick like a penguin or something? No, that doesn't work for anyone.

Yeah LJ you are kind of getting Marc Loi on us.

here's a cloth

loi cloth

abbotm

I make that a dead heat of men & women with cocks in their mouths, at 15 each. Considering there are about 10 times more straights than gay men, that's a pretty poor result for the hetero team.

The hets didn't show nearly as poorly as the lesbians!

That we won't know until the crucial results from the clitoris thread...

Followed by a poll about the last time you were heading down in it and ended up with a cock in your mouth.

now can we do one about the last time someone had your cock in their mouth? that might get a less skewed result

"within the past 30 seconds"
"right now"

worst thing about it is next blowjob all you'll care about is getting to this thread ASAP

if you P instead of C, you're doing it wrong

oh, if i had known this poll existed...

...every option would have been accounted for eh

December 5, 2005.

(4 years ago)

Bookmark

Well, yeah, basically.

ILX was so sanguine back then.

I was in Jaymc's company on December 4, 2005. He attempted to go behind the bar at a sports bar, got into a fistfight with the bartender, and lit out from there on his own.