You Belong To The Clitty

You totally beat me to it.

I was going to go with a Del lyric for the title: "People call me nasty, that's because I eat the cat."

Yours is better.

These polls really should be postponed until after New Years Eve.

They'll keep.

Male; year. Wish there was a '2 months' option. Last sexual encounter included sex but no going down, not because I am ungentlemanly but because it would have been 'inconvenient'. You will find the Suggest Ban button conveniently located after 'Bookmark'.

Absolutely honestly, not exaggerating, I read your post too quickly and thought you didn't go down on her because it would have been 'incontinent.'

Mods plz to add "Suggest pussy eating" button

xpost Ew

would have been 'inconvenient'.

Inconvenient? What, were you having sex on a circus trapeze or something?

Male; year. Wish there was a '2 months' option. Last sexual encounter included sex but no going down, not because I am ungentlemanly but because it would have been 'inconvenient'. You will find the Suggest Ban button conveniently located after 'Bookmark'.

this joke made me laugh even harder the 2nd time & I am thanking u

would have been 'inconvenient'.

Inconvenient? What, were you having sex on a circus trapeze or something?

I think maybe we're talking about, well, you know...

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onion_imagearticle602.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrrEo3hZABU

well i don't wanna gain a reputation

lol kenan you goddamn expert, i bet you've got that image bookmarked

It's just a bit of blood, wash your beard out afterwards. Or use a dam.

xp No, I swear, I Googled it all over again.

And come on. "Falling to the communists" is fucking funny.

You people know too much about me.

'Walking along the beach in soft-focus' was my favourite but yeah

new york city clitty committee pity the fool that act shitty, in the midst of the calm, the witty

conway clitty

xxp - does anyone really call it that?

Call what what?

Call menstruation 'Walking along the beach in soft-focus'

And no, I don't think anyone does.

No it's a joke about douche commercials.

Which now that I think of it, you don't see anymore.

You know, the classic: "Mom, sometimes I just don't feel fresh."

Mom: "Take a fucking shower."

Actually, douche commercials were allowed on television to make up for lost revenue from the ban on cigarette advertising.

see also: the douche tax

Shall I compare thee to a summer's eve?

That time of the month thou may'st in me behold

I do hope that the Age of the Vaginal Douche is over. Not to mention the attendant commercials.

"Mom, sometimes I'm afraid that my pussy smells like a pussy, and that boys won't like me because of it."

Surely this went out of style as cunnilingus became a standard practice.

huh, i've never seen or heard of a commercial like that

No man has has ever said, "Honey, I'm concerned that your pussy smells and tastes like a pussy. Is there something you can do to make it more like a dressed salad?"

pretty sure cunnilingus predates douche commercials.

lollllll at the idea of cunnilingus being a post-douche revolution

"Post-douche revolution" to the tune of The The's The Beaten Generation is now stuck in my head.

clitty clitty bang bang

xxp I'm not saying that, I'm postulating that the viability of this silly product declined and the product itself became unsalable as women realized that the natural smell of their stuff was not something that made men run for the hills, as they had been told for a very long time. And I think that one of the cultural shifts that made this possible was men's hesitant-at-first but then eager willingness to get down in it.

you have interesting theories, but i have no wish to subscribe to your newsletter at this time.

ilx really is ending 2009 on some high notes. well done kenan. apart from for that^^ yawn.

So you're positing that men were hesitant about giving women oral sex for thousands of years and at some point in the 1990s only became unhesitant?

tang is straight fire obv

tang is straight fire obv

I have no idea what this means.

poontang obv

So you're positing that men were hesitant about giving women oral sex for thousands of years and at some point in the 1990s only became unhesitant?

I'd say 70's or 80's but basically, yes. It was done, I'm sure. But it wasn't done widely, and it certainly wasn't something women felt entitled to, if even comfortable with. And it CERTAINLY wasn't something men felt good or manly or accomplished about doing.

You think I'm crazy, mock me as you wish. But boys eating pussies en mass is a very recent cultural development.

uh, but the golden age of the douche commercials were the 70s/80s/early 90s - that kinda doesn't support your theory.

i just googled "qu'uran cunnilingus". this thread is a bad influence.

I think you are just making shit up at this point, kenan.

xxp My theory is as stated. Commercials are commercials.

it's just a coincidence that, according to kenan's theory, cunnilingus become more acceptable just as kenan was reaching sexual maturity

Yeah - but if your theory is that douche commercials waned in prominence due to a waning of popularity in the product, the chronology you are stating doesn't really fit that theory.

a still from the latest Anabolic release, Barely Legal Anabolic Muff Divers #789:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/37/Roemer2.JPG

I think you are just making shit up at this point, kenan.

I really don't think I am. We're lucky because we're all of an age not to have known any other way. We're also the first generation to not have smallpox vaccine scars. Things change, and it's no good to forget how they used to be. You think your grandfather gave your grandmother head? UNHEARD of!

xp again, I'm not saying it's been recently invented. It's just been recently taken out of the realm of the deviant.

my grandparents, I'll have you know:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/38/Achille_Dev%C3%A9ria_erotism.jpg

Clearly this is related to Vatican 2.

xp Fancy.

you are making shit up

this seems to be the thread for it

Vatican 2 contained no pronouncements about cunnilingus.

Ok, fine.

Obviously, I don't have hard data to back any of this up. But something tells me that if you went back 100 years, you'd see one dude in 1,000 that was willing to eat it, and him only on holidays, because it was just not done. Now it's sex 101.

But boys eating pussies en mass is a very recent cultural development.

― kenan, Thursday, December 31, 2009 2:55 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

you do know that not everyone is like characters in the sopranos right?

Guys there are still people who don't believe there is such a thing as a female orgasm.

it's just a coincidence that, according to kenan's theory, cunnilingus become more acceptable just as kenan was reaching sexual maturity

― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, December 31, 2009 2:58 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i was gonna say. girls stopped being icky for me too at some point

I don't know if it's an issue so much of what is practiced, but maybe what is more socially acceptable to be discussed publicly, and the fact that something is part of a popular (for lack of a better word) discourse strengthens beliefs and rationales for behavior.

kenan, you do know that most guys LIKE going down on girls, right? And it has nothing to do with their girlfriends being exposed to Bikini Kill or whatever you're babbling about

i'm trying to remember if Chaucer makes allusions to cunnilingus or not

Take it or leave it. I don't think it's all that mad a theory.

Chaucer probably has fart porn somewhere in there. That's in the part they cut out in high school.

like in the 70s and 80s ppl used to go to times square and get a "box lunch" where they would pay like $10 and eat a stripper's vag on their lunch break. this has nothing to do with dan savage or dr. ruth or wtf you're on, it's that ppl like doing it

I think kenan's not entirely wrong - I think there was a shift where it went from something that was done but acknowledging it was vaguely deviant, or at least "smutty" - whereas now it's seen as a pretty conventional thing.

not the way i do it

kenan, you do know that most guys LIKE going down on girls, right? And it has nothing to do with their girlfriends being exposed to Bikini Kill or whatever you're babbling about

Boy, you really got me there. That's all I've been talking about. Shut up.

xpost
yeah but that was like the 1950s

Lady, shall I lie in your lap?

oh good, the poet showed up

What was like the 1950s?

kenan's cunnilingus style

and you know this how, que?

like cunnilingus was a weird thing in the 50s probably and i'm sure free love and women's lib ended that shit in the 60s and 70s, not in the imaginary revisionist kenan 90s where the douche commercials were taken off tv because men finally took a stand and shouted from the rooftops FINALLY WE MEN ARE FREE FROM THE SHACKLES OF VAGINAS THAT SMELL LIKE VINEGAR! LET US TEAR THESE CHAINS ASUNDER AND PROUDLY MARCH IN SOLIDARITY! JOIN ME BROTHERS!

elephant in the room: lesbianism

which was a popular sexuality and still is

lesbian in the room: elephants

Please be seated, this cunnilingus convention will now commence.

A pox upon your Christian cockatrices! They cry, like poulterers' wives, 'No money, no coney.'

uh, that's not what he was arguing, Whiney. Considering douche purchases were made predominantly by women, it would be the women saying, "fuck this shit. I smell fine using regular soap and water."

mr que how dare you espouse such sexist stereotypes

cannot believe im posting on this thread but kenan u are retarded, anyone whos read the canterbury tales knows it

him lycke here coynte ful merrilie

cunterbury tails

the wife of bath wasn't called that just because she was from bath, i heard she took lots of "baths" if you know what i mean

i can't believe it either, max. how could you?

I think kenan's not entirely wrong - I think there was a shift where it went from something that was done but acknowledging it was vaguely deviant, or at least "smutty" - whereas now it's seen as a pretty conventional thing.

First of all, thank you. Yes, that's part of it.

But there's more to it. It wasn't just not talked about, it simply was not done. Ok, yes, men are naturally attracted to the pheromones and textures and every lovely thing that's going on down there. But repeatedly licking a clit (a clit? This alone is a recent discovery) in order to bring about female orgasm (which, I repeat, some people still are not convinced of the existence of) is not an activity that has enjoyed wide practice across societies throughout history. It's new. It just is.

and by "baths" i mean "medievial douches"

The douche is another one of those products that tries to inculcate women with fears and concerns about their appearance, that are related to pleasing a male partner, that most dudes don't actually notice or care about.

Douchebags inculcate women with fears and concerns about their appearance.

xp ^^^

What grain of truth that may lie in Kenan's postition probably stem from the adoption of rather dour Protestant mores in the English speaking world over the last several hundred years (at least as normative public standards) and their susbsequent abandonment by most people (or at least a sizeable minority) since the Sexual Revolution. I seem to recall reading somewhere that the number of people receiving and giving oral sex has spiked since the 60's.

The History of Douches, by Kenan

i mean not even just canterbury tales kenan THE BIBLE has cunnilingus in it

Surely this went out of style as cunnilingus became a standard practice.

― kenan, Thursday, December 31, 2009 2:41 PM (40 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

No man has has ever said, "Honey, I'm concerned that your pussy smells and tastes like a pussy. Is there something you can do to make it more like a dressed salad?"

― kenan, Thursday, December 31, 2009 2:43 PM (38 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

sarahel, he's putting the onus/desires on the MAN. And besides if we has seen some great cunnilingus wave in the 90s wouldn't MORE douches be sold, because girls would be self-conscious about their parts?

I think less douche commercials has a lot more to do with word getting around that douching is unhealthy and unnecessary.

Yeah - I think Michael is right - a bunch of articles about teenage "promiscuity" mention that there's a lot more oral going on than when kenan and I were teenagers in the late 80s/early 90s.

sarahel, he's putting the onus/desires on the MAN.

Men make and sell this shit. It's a man's man's man's world, etc

does the bible have douches

I think less douche commercials has a lot more to do with word getting around that douching is unhealthy and unnecessary.

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Thursday, December 31, 2009 3:26 PM (1 minute ago)

tell us more about the Bible, max

THE BIBLE has cunnilingus in it

I doubt it was very good

yeah, they probably ended up cut off from their people :(

And besides if we has seen some great cunnilingus wave in the 90s wouldn't MORE douches be sold, because girls would be self-conscious about their parts?

Uh - if the douches affect the er, flavor, then probably the opposite - douches were more concerned with odor.

I think less douche commercials has a lot more to do with word getting around that douching is unhealthy and unnecessary.

I think that also is a significant factor, yes.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cunnilingus

"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better (on my ladyparts) than wine." -Solomon 1:2

Seriously will you people relax and stop trying to catch me in some trap where I'll look like I'm crazy or disgusting or stupid? I'm trying to play a different game. And frankly, you're kind of all a bunch of assholes with nothing to say.

the third, the most powerful, from the Grotto of the White Tiger, which is at the Peak of the Purple Mushroom (the mons veneris)

so many display names

Agreed on unhealthy - but where did "unnecessary" come from? That's a completely social construct.

ilx motto

I think less douche commercials has a lot more to do with word getting around that douching is unhealthy and unnecessary.

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Thursday, December 31, 2009 3:26 PM (1 minute ago)

I'm on board with this.

Yeah, but where did the "unnecessary" come from? What made people decide it was unnecessary?

tang

Reading Chaucer

I would still argue, though, that it being unhealthy and unnecessary might not make much difference if women were still somehow otherwise convinced that their bodies were disgusting and smelled bad.

Well, some adverts persist in making women feel inadequate. As good a time as any to plug the following awesome person: Sarah Haskins

What made people decide it was unnecessary?

I'm lost. Are you arguing that it IS necessary?

that's what I was getting at with questioning "unnecessary" - that perhaps it became viewed as unnecessary because women became less convinced that their bodies were disgusting and smelled bad.

oh shit, just realised that 'plug' has two meanings in that context

it's okay - you've plugged Ms. Haskins on numerous occasions.

i wish erm i mean yes quite obviously

perhaps it became viewed as unnecessary because women became less convinced that their bodies were disgusting and smelled bad.

I think and hope that this is the case. I feel like the predominant message now is, "No it's great, I love it, I'd spend all day down there. As long as you shave it."

So then there's that whole thing.

Hopefully we've had the shaving discussion a bunch of times so it's not necessary to go there now?

I won't say another word about it.

xp lj - it just shows your age - or more specifically, youth.

The stuff that Sarah Haskins talks about is in the same vein as numerous articles in Sassy Magazine - which I read as a teenager 20 years ago.

I hope you're all voting during this debate.

I'm going to try to turn the ballot into song lyrics.

but she is doing it, in the form of easily-accessible videos, and regarding contemporary advertising tropes, so basically chill

also she is really funny

Louis - I'm trying to make a case for our differing opinions that doesn't make you look stupid or me look jaded.

wait what

clearly i wasn't successful. :/

Ok I'm reading through this thread again, and I see now what you're all piling on me about. You are collectively very resistant to the idea that womens' self-image has been, historically and especially throughout the history of modern advertising, dependent on what men think of them.

I believe there is a peace that women long ago made with this fact, and when people talk about paradigm shifts, raising glass ceilings -- hell, even raising real wages -- they're weighing these cultural changes against this long-established cultural FACT. I'm not setting up some fantastical otherworld where women are made to worry about their physical appearance throughout their lives, where they know that they will in some way always be judged less on their accomplishments than their outward appearance, or a topsy-turvy world where their sexual satisfaction is a recent discovery for many, a novelty for many others, and only very recently, in Western culture, an expectation.

When I say that douche commercials are out of fashion, yes it's partly because of science and more widespread information about how such things really work, and partly because women are more self-possesed. But I don't think it's out-of-line to also say that one reason that there are not douche commercials on television is because men are less freaked out by the female parts than they used to be. This does not mean that men dictate all the rules of this game, and in fact I believe that it means that we dictate fewer and fewer of them. And I believe that this is a good thing. But that is not a ridiculous factor to consider.

Or else I just hate women. Hey, who knows.

You do seem to prize sleep over blow jobs more than a lot of men.

I don't like blowjobs as much as most men seem to, honestly.

the "bouncing up and down on your dick like a penguin" line still makes me laugh to this day.

Guys I think douching waned in popularity bcz more and more research showed douching caused health problems & doctors, public health people, etc., discouraged women from doing it.

I mean you can think you are smelly & gross & have hella self-gynophobia but if yr doc says "yeah you're gonna keep getting UTIs if you keep douching" then you probably will stop doing that.

actually I think they can cause yeast infections, not UTIs

but still

I will always allow for the possibility that I have no idea what I'm talking about.

I'm just finding being "creepy Kenan" extra exhausting lately. Especially when people seem to come out of the woodwork with their opinion of me already formed. Especially when those people aren't all that bright.

I'm in a mood, I tell you. I could punch somebody.

Otherwise, I could eat your pussy for like 45 minutes. I have that much energy, and maybe that woul be more constructive.

don't you have a girlfriend?

I hope to god that's a generic you!

or 'your' rather

Yeah, generic.

does it apply to Whiney, even?

you can eat my pussy, his name is J0rdan S.

I have to say reading "I could eat YOUR pussy" right after my post was pretty startling to say the least.

I'm not going to eat anybody's pussy. The whole thing was a grand metaphorical flight of fancy.

xxp - LOL!!!!

It's a good rhetorical gauntlet to throw down in a co-ed debate.

tang will be tasted, life will be lived

I wish Kenan were running for president in 2012, just for the debate.

"I could get the U.S. back on board with the Kyoto treaty, or suck your cock, Joe Biden, for 45 minutes. That's how committed I am to climate change. I give over the rest of my time to the Vice President."

haha "Oh yeah! Bring it! I'll either punch you in the face or eat your pussy for, like, forever!"

Not the smoothest rhetoric, I don't guess. Is there a logical fallacy that covers that?

Argument Ad Vaginum.

Dan will be envious that he isn't a part of this thread.

At least we're kind of back on the thread topic.

Just to contribute in the spirit of TMI, my college squeeze said at the time that she wished her friends could enjoy whatever it was I was doing back then in this dept. Now, much closer to the grave, I regret a little not continuing that conversation.

She wanted you to get with her friends?

Sure as heckfire sounds that way.

I just don't understand that.

I think maybe she wanted to watch you.. um... service her friends? Yeah you really should have asked a follow-up question to that. Like, "What then?"

She kind of did, just because she was enjoying whatever thrills we were enjoying. I suppose it's analogous to if you see and enjoy Amelie and so want your friends to see and enjoy it as well.

(xpost, not the watching part, any more than you'd need to watch your friends watch Amelie after enjoying it.)

I don't think I'd enjoy Amelie or watching my bf get it on with my friends.

New poll: structually and tonally, is being in bed with you like:
a) Amelie
b) Kill Bill
c) The New World
d) Crank

You were probably right not to inquire further. At best, that would have been... what... a 3-way with you as the guy at the full service station? Which isn't too bad, but at worst, it would have been... oh man. The worst. I think you can see this in your mind as well as I.

e) Dances with Wolves
f) 28 days later
g) Mary Kate & Ashley's Awesome Sleepover
h) La Jetée

I am not going to compare my cocksmanship to a popular feature film. No good can come of that at all.

i) Wall-E
j) The Wicker Man
k) The Fly
l) Michael Snow's "Wavelength"

m) The Shining
n) 12 Monkeys
o) Close Encounters (Richard Pryor Edition)
p) Grand Prix

q) The Devil and Daniel Johnston
r) Derek Jarman's "Blue"
s) The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
t) Beneath the Planet of the Apes

u) The Three Days of the Condor
v) Klute
w) When Harry Met Sally
x) F for Fake
y) The Third Man

u) Crispin Glover's "What is it?"
v) Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?
w) Raising Arizona
x) Modern Times

y) Driving Miss Daisy
z) Carry On Camping
1) Sleeper
2) The Rutles

3) What's Up Tiger Lily?

aa) Fitzcarraldo
ab) Cemetery Man
ac) The People Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies
ad) My Dinner with Andre

4) The Italian Job

"I thought it was going to end, it's like this is definitely the last scene, and then it fades out, and then it goes on another 10 minutes! And then I'm like OK, this is definitely it, and I'm ready to get up and go and then..."

5) Floating
6) The Abyss

4) The Italian Job

Nowhere NEAR as smooth as it sounds, btw.

ae) The Tin Drum
af) Greaser's Palace
ag) Salo
ah) Scarface (Pacino version)

0xAE) Sex, Lies, and Videotape (mainly lies and videotape)

ai) Bambi

0xAF) Porky's
0xB0) Silent Running

7) The Lord of the Rings directed by Peter Jackson

7) The Lord of the Rings directed by Peter Jackson

put me to sleep after 2 hours, and then it kept going.

"It's like a Ken Loach movie: I can barely understand a word she's saying, but she's definitely emotionally committed."

0xB1) The Philadelphia Experiment (in the UK, "Philadelphia" is a brand of cream cheese)
0xB2) Flashdance
0xB3) Bottom: Guest House Paradiso

xxp Stay with it, there's a giant volcano coming up, I promise.

"It's like a Tarkovsky movie: fucked up, visually compelling, but not much really happens."

(in the UK, "Philadelphia" is a brand of cream cheese)

We have a city called Philadelphia! Also a brand of cream cheese. But I guess it's a UK thing.

I'm sorry, you just have to wait for an hour until you see the shark, but it's a classic!

"From all external appearances -- Moroccan landscape, exotic culture, Winger, Malkovich -- you'd think this would be sizzling and erotic and smart, but then you get there and it's like..."

Oh no what director are you in bed?

I am not going to compare my cocksmanship to a popular feature film. No good can come of that at all.

― kenan, Thursday, 31 December 2009 22:17 (11 minutes ago) Bookmark

lol I'd actually answer 'Network' for myself XD

"So there's an annoying noise, and you're just slowly looking around the room for 45 minutes, and that's it?"

xp - are you hitting on me again?

We are all constantly hitting on you. Sorry. :(

"There's loads of shrieking and howling for the first bit, then you're floating for ages, finally it looks like you're having a migraine"

xp - LJ knows that's one of my favorite movies.

"Turns out in the end that they all did it."

"You think it's two guys, but in the end it's just one."

"Turns out that she's his twin sister, and the heavy breathing dude is their father"

"And once again it falls out of the airlock, howling into space."

xp - LJ knows that's one of my favorite movies.

I think we've had that conversation as well. Maybe the exact same one.

"It's not really him, it's actually his mom taking revenge."

xp - oh yeah, we have.

"It's not bad if you're snowed in or on an airplace. Otherwise, skip it."

"Everybody is dying to know what's so special about this guy, but turns out he's just rich and misses his mommy. And his sled."

"They eat the dog and spare the baby, and a really fat guy saves everybody because he plays videogames."

"Explosions, Scarlett Johannson's boobs, and Ewan McGregor's butt"

When Derek Jarman's Blue was showing at my hometown's museum, my friend who was a guard told me that there was cruising in there.

Well, it's not like you had to keep your eyes on the screen!

"You think it's all worthless, but in the end you're glad you have as many friends as you do."

(You really have to see Zuzu's petals. OMG.)

"You go into it thinking if nothing else, it's summer, and I'll be in an air-conditioned room for two hours, but surprisingly it's probably going to end up on my best-of-year list."

xp - uh ... you're not doing much to eradicate "creepy" jokes with that one.

"I've seen it a hundred times already, but what am I supposed to do? It's always on. And it's not THAT bad."

"You'll wonder what all the shouting, macho aggression, and oiled up bodies are all about"

xp - story of my last relationship

oh man there has never been a thread title that made me less interested in getting involved in it than this one

mostly because the clitoris is a myth yo

LOOK IT UP

You are frontin' big time!

"You try and keep track of everything he's saying, and it sort of makes sense, but then right at the last minute you find out HE'S BEEN LYING THE WHOLE TIME"

mostly because the clitoris is a myth yo

You just haven't found it.

"That's not mom!"

If the clitoris is a myth, I have even less reason to go on than I thought.

It's not a myth.

JJustin's just been spending too much time with his EXCELLENT NEW PUPPY HENRY!

trying to dismantle years of BLATANT PROPAGANDA here people try to keep up

John, your puppy does not have a clitoris.

well duh because there is no such thing

I've seen video of the male orgasm, but I think they might be faking it all. I'm still not sure it actually exists.

College squeeze just wanted eazy to give cunny classes to all the other boys so her friends could experience something that wasn't lick-lick-please-blow-me-now (or adventurous but ill-informed pussy eating, perhaps).

also gross and plz stop sexualizing my awesome puppy ok thx bye xxxpost

Maybe Abbott can tell some more stories about her family's exotic bird ranch - those are great, and this thread is losing its entertainment value.

mostly because the clitoris is a myth yo

― .81818181818181818181818181 changed everything (jjjusten), Thursday, December 31, 2009 5:59 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

status aint hood

I think I'm just bored at staring at a screen. Time to stare elsewhere.

Your search - "emu clitoris" - did not match any documents.

There's a market for a Dead Poet's Society, but cunny class.

I am female and I last was down in it more than a year ago.

O CLITORIS, MY CLITORIS

Are you going back to the Dead Poet's Society thing?

stop trying to catch me in some trap where I'll look like I'm crazy or disgusting or stupid

good luck

best thread of the year saved for the last day -- congrats

crazy or disgusting or stupid

reminds me of those "pick two out of three" business things ("fast/cheap/reliable")

^^ LOL - somebody needs to make one of these!

oh come on who ISN'T gonna choose 'crazy and disgusting'

Captain Lorax?

btw Network is one of my top 5 films ever so you're gonna have to learn to share

uhhh ... I don't know how you meant that, but it sure sounds pretty o_O in the context of this thread.

we all share in one clitty

you, socialist, you!

A Tale Of Two Clitties

Steampunk lesbian porn, thou hast a title

throw in a bit of neo-burlesque and you've got the most hated subgenre niche ever

so much hatefapping

"Steampunk lesbian porn" - way to ruin some plain clean girl on girl action.

Basically they're wearing goggles, and they do nothing.

excerpt from Bleak House, photo of someone eating a clitty, repeat

"choco taco"

bohoho, is Bleak House embraced by the steampunk crowd? The spontaneous combustion scene is pretty flashy, but for the most part it's about v slow moral decay due to an epic chancery court battle. If steampunks are all about WARDS OF JARNDYCE then I have a new respect for them!

bohoho, is Bleak House embraced by the steampunk crowd?

I have one friend that I know is into both things.

i'd sooner befriend a cannibal than a steampunk

http://sathyasaibaba.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/idi-amin-mohamed-amin1.jpg

l-r: cannibal, Whiney G. Weingarten

This thread has not been my finest moment. One of my worst, I think. I thought I'd licked the problem of having nervous breakdowns in what ever browser window happens to be open, but apparently I still have some work to do.

I'm sorry.

One of my worst, I think.

I doubt that. No offense.

Well, it's one in an ongoing series.

kenan, once i was googling some poetry stuff and to my astonished glee i found you being strident about 'the red wheelbarrow' on some discussion board, it made me lol in a nice way.

Ah yes, plagiarist.com. I know it well.

And thanks, you're very nice. I'm over the worst of it, and may as well be... the Holidays are over, after all. And there's more sunlight every day from here out.

You ate some box and it was all better, amirite?

kenan - i think you're making it out to be worse in your mind than it actually was.

Skipping 180 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

wtf

you don't really mean that J0hn.

wow kenan I got love for you but you kind of are so wrong in this thread it's ridiculous

read some ancient lit & learn that ppl have been eating much poontang like forever, and lots of it, and, like, everybody, all the time

just b/c people were enlightened about something in antiquity doesn't mean they were in the 1950s, though...

was gonna make a comment about the Bush years but on this thread that could be taken a lot of ways

you are more cautious than kenan who recklessly said he thought he'd 'licked the problem'.

the only thing this thread makes me want to bury my face in is my hands

If your palms have as much hair on them as mine, then it's a reasonable approximation.

eh not unless it's trimmed into a cute little pink heart it's not

no, normally I just give each palm a side parting

not what you'd think after reading this thread: http://brasilmagic.wordpress.com/2008/10/01/brazilian-manicures-are-the-best/

wow kenan I got love for you but you kind of are so wrong in this thread it's ridiculous

Yeah, I think I need a new topic for my dissertation.

Un-creeping Oneself: Methods of Recuperating one's Internet Reputation

co-authors, kenan and jagger, l.

Methods of Recuperating one's Internet Reputation

One way to go about it: http://www.onthemedia.org/transcripts/2009/12/18/06

lj is on his fourth? fifth? user name.

clitty clitty bang bang

― gastro pub n' tug (carne asada), Thursday, December 31, 2009 7:48 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark

was gonna make this a user name but decided against it

i'm 2 legit to clit

hey kenan, this is a reminder - don't fuck my mom! Have a nice lunch!

^ she takes care of me.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Didn't see this poll before.

(What's the time? OK, subtract 10 hours..)

Last chance.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zs4XgnDNHjI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktVcFNH_HHs

results indicate most of ilx are men in successful relationships?

That poll option would be "I am male and have had my cock in someone else's mouth in the last 48 hours."

didn't realize ilx was so very gender-skewed! or maybe it's just this poll.

12 men on ILX have never been down in it? I guess we all started somewhere

pssst also some guys are not interested in women

not thinking as usual

shit, that's bad actually. very bad. that's the kinda lunkheaded heteronormative shit i thought i was bigger than

altho i do believe everything should be tried once, and fully intend to have the inverse experience at some stage in the not too distant future

LJ I think the only way you can rectify this is by rolling one around in yr mouth for a bit.

ugh wait I apologize

you have gobstoppers in the usa? coz that's how i'm gonna interpret that

also yes i shall apologise to the world's gay population through the international language of ceremonial fellatio

fully intend to have the inverse experience at some stage in the not too distant future

how many years has dude been promising this to a disinterested public now, ban lj from tmi

face being down in it. 3

?

what, right now?

wau

no, i think it was at the time of voting.

I KNEW IT

there are no lesbians. lesbians are a myth that the pr0n industry made up to sell us vampire the buffysucker videos

acoleuthic is turning into bret anderson circa 1992 well laddie i got yr bisexual experience right here in my pants

lol get in the queue galahad

http://www.workthatclitcumgirl.com/

fucking EW

well that was . . . odd

i used to have sex with a girl who didn't like guys going down on her. Weird.

i'm sure it was just you

i have a friend who doesn't enjoy oral (giving or receiving). one of her past boyfriends didn't either. people are different. CRAZY.

haha, very funny. No like I went to go down on her and she stopped me saying "she didn't like it" before I had even started.

not enjoying receiving oral sex is like not enjoying a beautiful sunset or something. It's inhuman.

if the oral sex is more like gathering stormclouds at dusk then i generally curtail it tbh - genuinely more pleasurable to give than receive imo

disagree but maybe that's a gender thing. not sure how to interpret "gathering stormclouds at dusk" though....

if it's...not exactly sensual, hard work, mechanical, or generally just enough to tickle but not to send shafts of pleasure thru one's form...then it's gonna fizzle out in a damp squib at some point down the line. so unless they're really into it, better idea to suggest something else! it's not like foreplay options are limited.