Last (x) Movies you are going to Avoid

I know we all love to waste our lives inside the black box but there is only so much you can tolerate. This is a negative thread so please be that.

Youth (Paolo Sorrentino, 2015)
Anomalisa (Charlie Kaufman, 2015) - this looks terrible
Hail, Ceasar! (Coen bros., 2015) - a cast to avoid

I was just thinking this about Anomalisa, like ten minutes ago

I will not allow myself to watch A Bigger Splash. Not that trailers are remotely an indication of how good a film is going to be, but the trailer for this is so pervasively nauseating that it would be a triumph of editing were it somehow to not reflect accurately.

Now that awards season is over, I no longer feel like my avoidance of The Revenant, The Big Short, Mad Max: Fury Road, Room and The Martian is that big of a deal, so I'll just continue quietly avoiding them now.

Youth is the worst Sorrention, and the first he's made in a long time that doesn't at least have that wonderful Sorrentinoesque editing, but it's still fine. Looking forward to A Bigger Splash!

teh danish girl
steve jobs
hateful 8

o yea room also def

Brooklyn

A War! Fuck that propagandistic crap.

Youth was a shade less revolting than The Danish Girl; both movies you can point and laugh at.

will avoid:
Oliver Stone's Snowden thing
X-Men XVIII or whatever
Independence Day 2
Star Trek XXXVIII or whatever
Eastwood/Sully
Magnificent Seven remake
Harry Potter spinoff
Star Wars spinoff

will wait for streaming:
Zootopia
Deadpool, maybe
Finding Another Fish

I thought I was pretty positive & unpicky about films but pretty much everything listed so far I am either avoiding or wish I had avoided

I think the sole exception is Independence Day which I will proooobably see one day even though it looks extremely terrible

Anything Terrence Malick puts out. I have come to accept the fact I find his films shallow and boring, and can no longer be bothered to try.

(I mean, I rarely go to the cinema to catch new films anyway but I don't really see that as actively avoiding films, just... failing to go to the cinema.)

Oh right, now that Oscarbait season is done, Deadpool is thing I give the least shit about.

Might only watch Stone's Snowden thing because of JGL, but still a big maybe.

emil.y, I'm with you on Malick (after Thin Red Line).

what movies have you willingly watched recently that would make you reconsider the actively avoid list by comparison?
(my having watched zoolander2 means I can't really have an actively avoid list anymore)

how is malick "shallow"? of all the ways to go at the guy...

I don't think he's shallow, more like he's got these few things to say and repeats them ad nauseum. I will avoid the new one.

This is supposed to be a solely negative thread, so no defending! Though I guess to me 'shallow' = I appreciate the look of his films but the underlying messages and themes completely fail to resonate with me. I just get nothing deeper than 'oh, I guess that's quite pretty'. You might get something more, but I find myself unmoved.

all of them

Thirding the Malick disdain. Tree of Life felt achingly empty to me. I cannot gel with his very measured, almost clinically literary tone, and don't understand his emotional palette at all. I keep falling for the hype that surrounds him, but I don't think it will happen again.

As usual, you put it much better than I can. I often love "achingly empty" films, but that's normally when the emptiness is intentional. Whereas Malick seems to be desperately trying to impart something, but when I look I find nothing.

Youth is the worst Sorrention, and the first he's made in a long time that doesn't at least have that wonderful Sorrentinoesque editing, but it's still fine. Looking forward to A Bigger Splash!

― Frederik B, Sunday, March 6, 2016 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The reason for this thread is that a friend & I were going to see it and then got there and it was sold out. We were both dreading it, knowing it was going to be complete and utter shit but liking some of his previous work.

Another friend dragged me to A Bigger Splash! and it was so banal - this barely disguised ad for the Italian tourist industry (even if good things don't happen) so you should avoid it if you can.

The even bigger reason is that 2016 has been terrible for films. Rams by Grímur Hákonarson looks like this quirky Icelandic film I just don't care for. The Revenant is a complete fkn joke.

In parallel the BFI has been running a Godard season and his work from the 70s onwards (never mind the 60s) has been putting everybody to shame.

Dreading the end of this (next week is the last of it). If I am able to I always like going to the cinema.

I know we aren't suppose to defend film, but Rams is delightful... If you all didn't see Of Horses and Men by Benedikt Erlingsson, you need to do that as well, and they're kinda the same film.

dunno if something can be both quirky and viscerally crushing but this is a thread of hatred so on we go. obv i am never watching The Revenant ever

Even though I set-up the thread no one needs to follow all the rules (not that there are any hard-and-fast rules) so yeah defend if you happen to watch and like it. Obviously I'm saying 'no way' on the basis of a trailer or a review of it or what I hear about it. xp

The rams trailer made it look like quirky deadpan comedy but it's like straight tragedy. I liked it, probably in large part because it wasn't the former - as we were leaving my friend said "imagine if that had been a British film" and we both shuddered at the thought of the fucking michael gambon rhys ifans bullshit that would be

youth really was pretty bad -- glacial male-artist sorrow (certainly the end of something or other, one would sort of have to think), that one guy who only plays quivering bureaucrats as a quivering bureaucrat, all dialogue clearly written but not spoken in esl which gave the whole movie such a stilted uncanny feeling i almost liked it. liked the giant marx tattoo i guess.

anomalisa was perfect on its own extremely limited and unpleasant terms.

the coens have been at the top of their career since burn after reading so i am very excited for this obviously slight one.

anyway, deadpool.

The Revenant, The Danish Girl, the Dakota Fanning trans boy movie, most of the foreseeable superhero movies, Zoolander 2

all of them

― mookieproof, Sunday, March 6, 2016 12:49 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm.

I am the Joey Chestnut of avoiding movies

had no idea stone was making a snowden movie; that's unnecessary. idk if there's a scene in oliver stone's whole oeuvre better than the fire alarm sequence in citizenfour unless it's the one where joe pesci's wig comes off.

Rams should be seen just for the awesome images of Iceland :) They have this whole boom of cheap films filmed around the countryside, using the landscape and many amateur actors. All of the films have names like Rams, Sparrows, Volcano, Virgin Mountain, Of Horses and Men. It's a style, kinda.

Yeah, Youth is pretty bad. Sorrentino has only made 'big-male-sorrow' films. His last three films were male-artist-sorrow, but before that it was politician and mafiosi. It's definitely the biggest failing of his filmography, and Youth is really doubling down on it. The guy is still just 45, why are all his films about men growing old and irrelevant? But he is a good picture-maker, and Youth has good pictures.

When Tree of Life came out the local alt-weekly ran two reviews: "I Saw The Tree of Life, and I Loved It" and "I Didn't See The Tree of Life, and I Hated It." I'll always love Badlands and should get around to watching The Thin Red Line but nothing after that has had much appeal.

The only 'my god what rubbish' reaction I've had to a trailer recently was for The BFG, but after the disaster of Tintin I was unlikely to see another Spielberg kids' movie anyway.

The trailer for Hail, Caesar pretty much gives the entire movie away - and does so in a far snappier fashion than the film itself. Ralph Fiennes is the standout turn in H,C but even that wasn't enough to make me see A Bigger Splash, especially after I read a really arsey interview w/ the director in Sight and Sound.

And yes, Youth was unrecoverable in any coherent critical way as a 'good' movie, but it's not an especially interesting bad movie either. The corollary of its male-artist-sorrow is a gross sexism and general disregard for any of the female characters (Rachel Weisz and Jane Fonda probably give the best performances in the film, but they're marginalised and trivialised when set against mouldy Michael Caine and mumbling Harvey Keitel). Also thought This Must Be The Place was a turd, so yeah, it def feels like Sorrentino loses something quite crucial when working with an English Language script.

The Big Fucken Giant. Never saw Tintin but I will do my duty and watch it as part of the big Spielberg project. But I get to stop at Bridge Of Spies, then my commitment ends, so the BFG can G the F O.
Never watched Avatar, Titanic, Independence Day, any Jurassic Park sequels, I watch a hella lit of bad ibdies but I can't be bothered with that shit.
Still Alice, my mother keeps trying to show me and I am "no thank you"

Fast/Furious films, Saw films, TV spinoffs...

The director of A Bigger Splash is Luca Guadagnino who made the quite good I Am Love, so def seeing A Bigger Splash.

I watched Synecdoche New York two days back and decided to give Anomalisa a pass.

guys if you're not hating on days of heaven you're hating malick wrong

its like if you're really going to hate oasis you can't just start hating with 'be here now'. you have to commit to your hate. it's like hating only the late u2: fuck that.

i am love is a garbage movie for garbage people

oh my god rain on a statues face it looks like the statue is crying fuck me did your 5yo cowrite this thing

anomalisa is a great title for a mediocre mid-90s indie record

dlh's thing on youth and esl kinda makes me want to see it, or at least make a movie that uses the same trick to some effect

Non-english speaking people has been doing this for decades.

'Oh look at this stupid director, he isn't even a native English speaker, and he still thinks he can make a global film! lol, what a weirdo.'

'Meanwhile, isn't Eddie Redmayne amazing as a Dane, let's give him all the oscars!'

i think there was more to dlh's claim than that tbh

Anything with "today's comedy superstars" US version - people I generally find unfunny (Louis CK, Tina Fey, The Amy's Schumer and Poehler) ---everything I've seen them in up to now a resounding dud so no thanks.
Anything by Lanthimos
"Anomalisa" was a real chore.

Also - no more Baumbach. Or Ben Stiller ( he just seems fed up in everything).

obv non-native english speakers direct movies in english all the time. feel like writing movies in english is at least rarer but of course there is nothing silly about that either. it can just be noticeable is all, and when your leads have voices as distinct and culturally situated as michael caine and harvey keitel it's more noticeable. you sometimes see a milder version of this quality when yanks/brits write for brits/yanks.

or when woody allen writes for anyone.

Youth was so wack

Youth and A Bigger Splash are both showing at the local arthouse but they both sound so boooring. Youth in particular and not even a Maradona cameo can make it appealing.

Anomalisa is great and everyone should watch it btw

It isn't the 'real' Maradona in Youth, fwiw

Kinda looking forward to nu-Malick. Partly because I haven't caught anything he has put out at the cinema so I didn't get annoyed. Plus the new one has good post-cinema conversation potential.

Oliver Stone's Snowden thing

What's the point of that?!

story ticks so many Stone boxes he probably feels obliged to run thru the motions

As long as he can shoehorn in the Cuban gay mafia its ok I guess.

Gonna pay p close attention to my studious avoidance of Christopher Nolan's ouevre from now on, I think I might not watch interstellar this week

Tom Hiddleston double; High-Rise/I Saw The Light

High Rise (Ben Wheatley, 2015) - say no to adaptations of unfilmable books. Can see why greats like Nic Roeg left this alone for a guy who I see has directed television to pick up.

I see nic roeg has directed television

A lot of it in the mid-90s. Britpop was a tough time for everybody.

I don't see how High Rise is unfilmable tbh

a guy who I see has directed television

lol at being bothered to research Wheatley enough to know this, but not bothered enough to consider his actual film work.

But hey, it's the negative thread so carry on as you are. Sadly I can't think of any more current things to hate on, I'm sure I will be back soon though.

Wasn't doing "research", just looked at a couple of wiki pages.

While everyone else wasted their time on British cinema I watched Manoel De Oliveira's last film. A real, proper film.

One single screening #RIPCinema

:D

Wheatley's "A Field In England" is freaky brilliance. Am looking forward to watching "High Rise".

^that's not the spirit! ;)

Ok! Here's one: Am avoiding the ugly Batman/Superman bs by that auteur-for-bros Zach Snyder

That French film that isn't about Florence Foster Jenkins

Do you mean 'Frears'?

Haha omg just realised that there's an actual ffj biopic coming out as well! Not seeing that either tbh

He, yeah, and it's directed by someone whose name could have been an auto-correct from French. I still don't really get what film you're talking about, though?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marguerite_(film)

Wiki tells me it's from last year but it just came out hers.

Do we have a thread listing examples of the turner and hooch/k9 phenomenon? Feel like every message board must have one. And it is a bank holiday.

I think we did have a thread for something of the sort, but can't for the life of me think what it would have been called.

Clooney stock advice kidnap on air capitalism thriller oh just fuck off

lol I don't even know what that refers to but what the hell I'll throw my weight behind this campaign

I think we did have a thread for something of the sort, but can't for the life of me think what it would have been called.

― emil.y, Thursday, March 24, 2016 4:31 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this otoh is not good enough, it is good friday and I have nowhere to observe that one time there were two magician movies

Start a new one anyway! If someone else remembers they can link it up, but it's probably from 2003 or something.

And actually I think I might just be thinking about 'animal versions of buddy cop movies' (b/c of the examples you used) rather than 'two films about the same thing coming out at the same time'.

sorry I wasn't clear!

A hearty fu for making me Google it, but it is called money monster

fuck off that isnt true

https://www.ica.org.uk/whats-on/speed-sisters

Lots of docs like this - I mean I'm sure its fine but it could also be a 20 min segment on BBC News 24.

Anyway, a lot of 'this will be in Storyville in six months' and then its on it and I won't watch anyway.

Birdman, The Revenant, death--betting on death.

Saw Birdman. Not gonna see The Revenant, because fool me once...

http://www.bfi.org.uk/news-opinion/news-bfi/announcements/steven-spielberg-season-coming-bfi-southbank-summer?utm_content=bufferf69a2&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitterbfi&utm_campaign=buffer

Burn it down.

tale of tales is like the ultimate one of these

why is hail caesar a 'cast to avoid'? don't coen bros have the same cast in every movie? do you avoid all their films?

Tale of Tales was a pretty big disappointment to me. I ended up writing about how like Arabian Nights it showed the bankruptcy of it's production country, only with ToT it's kinda inadvertently.

lol

Stoked to avoid the Daniel Radcliffe priapic corpse opus

tale of tales is like the ultimate one of these

talk about cunti amirite

Chevalier, The Commune (unfortunately not a re-run of Watkins' film on it)

Both the new ones with Greta Gerwig in them

https://www.ica.org.uk/whats-on/speed-sisters🔗

Lots of docs like this - I mean I'm sure its fine but it could also be a 20 min segment on BBC News 24.

Anyway, a lot of 'this will be in Storyville in six months' and then its on it and I won't watch anyway.

Still otm

xyzzz___ you would def not like chevalier, it's pretty much exactly how you'd picture "producer of dogtooth makes a mainstream male-bonding bro comedy" to be (one of the guys even looks a bit like the creepy manchild from the hangover films). I liked it quite a bit tbh but I like things

The Galifianakis similarity must have been intentional, especially as he's the biggest Greek-American star in Hollywood

Yeah don't need this xp

Suicide Squad

FIST FIGHT
OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY

i can't wait for 2017 to bring us

OIL CHANGE
FROZEN FOOD AISLE
JAYWALKING TICKET

Just saw the ad for Collateral Beauty. Jeezus!

just watched the trailer

kids, don't do scientology

keira, never act again

The movie title has been created by the early 90's software used to make Basic Instinct/Primal Fear/Fatal Instinct/Terminal Velocity etc

Another awful trailer: Why Him?

This is even more ridiculous than I expected.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/dec/13/collateral-beauty-review-will-smith-helen-mirren-keira-knightley

Will Smith plays a super-brilliant ad exec with a Ted-talking visionary schtick about connectivity. But when he tragically loses his six-year-old to cancer, poor Will becomes a mumbling semi-crazy hermit who is in danger of running his company into the ground. He starts writing letters to abstract concepts like Death, Love and Time, to rail at them. So his sorrowing colleagues – Ed Norton, Kate Winslet and Michael Peña – cook up a sneaky plan. They intercept the letters and hire three actors, played by Helen Mirren, Keira Knightley and Jacob Latimore, to go up to Will in the street and argue with him, pretending to be Death, Love and Time. (They could also have hired Jack Black to be Eat and Morgan Freeman to be Pray – but I guess there were copyright issues.)

Ed, Kate and Michael will secretly video his arguments with these imposters, digitally remove the actors from the video to make him look like a crazy person talking to himself, then show the video to the board to get Will voted off.

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me.

In a just world, this would extinguish the career of everyone involved. But I think we just found our Best Picture Oscar winner!

Sully looks like weaponised boring

also a shitty kids author got her butler to write the word "pokemon" on a napkin and gave herself the rest of the year off & now people are acting surprised that the result is kind of a nothing film

Helen Mirren is the tragedy here. I could see signing onto this mess for the cashola, but this is not a hit movie by any means!

You'd like to think your favorite actors possessed somr trace of taste and discernment. For instance I thought I detected intelligence and shrewdness in the eyes of Jessica Chastain, which led me to check out Miss Sloane last week. What am embarrassment. Again, not a blockbuster formula there, so she had to think this was gonna be Good. Oh that script. Hardest I've cringed since my first exposure to the work of Diablo Cody.

I'm sort of fascinated by Collateral Beauty now. What a weird premise/way of conceiving trauma. The Village Voice review teases that there are two additional twists beyond "They're actors."

Oh boy twists

that's where I was a Viking all along

shall we guess the twists

JACKIE

if you watch it numb yourself with vodka, cigarettes, and photos of Bobby

Oh boy twists

― banfred bann (wins), Wednesday, December 14, 2016

he said last night

Bobby Kennedy looked like Bugs Bunny

let's not spoil ourselves

twist one: will smith himself secretly put up his colleagues to do this (by idk INCEPTION), so he could teach THEM a lesson

twist two: the letters were all christmas cards

I'm guessing: (1) The actors turn out really to be abstract manifestations. (2) They're joined at the end by his daughter's ghost for tearful closure.

i'm thinking that yeah, like the letters will smith writes are sort of spectral spirit versions of the nanny letter the kids write in mary poppins.

I should just put [insert the name of latest Oscar-bait biopic here] now so i don't have to bump this thread every year 'round this time.

xxpost I agree with (1) but I think (2) is a fourth-wall breaking moment where we see the screenwriter finishing the script and then masturbating to completion onto the keyboard of his Macbook.

It's definitely a case of each quality being bestowed to the respectively needful colleague tbh, the devil is in how it turns around

maybe will smith himself is a paranormal manifestation and his 'dead daughter' is us, the viewers

La La Land

Both Gosling and Stone are such weird looking folks. Like living anime. Dunno if I could deal with two hours of them trying to save their love through song and dance.

trainspotting 2: judgement day

Sing

Split.

Yeah was surprised the director was getting financed. Thought he was getting critically panned. Are people going to his films still?
Though Guardian had a 2 page article based on multiple personality with photos from film on Friday.

Haha, this thing cost $125 million?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moZIiYxUsGw

Not one but TWO TV remakes out this week: Chips and Power Rangers.

That Trump-ian baby movie from Dreamworks.

haha I saw chips

was not good

Hampstead looks p rancid

Haha so I have a valid NUS card and so I get invited to free preview screenings of films aimed at 19-year-olds, I'm sad enough that I usually go to them and they are nearly always dogshit

Tonight I went to see The House and the place was about 3/4 full. There were flyers on the seats saying "why not head on up to the bar afterwards for an exclusive playthrough of the new Gorillaz album" & also advertising a heavily discounted night owl showing of baby driver. The film, which wasn't great, finished and nobody - not one soul - headed on up to the bar, they all just fucked off. I got a cheap ticket for what's turned out to be a private screening of baby driver (the only circumstance under which I would bother) and am killing time in the pub below. I find this whole experience pretty heartening

The Battle of the Sexes

yeah, by the Little Miss Sunshine crew no less

Downsizing

yikes, that Borg-McEnroe movie w/ Shia as Johnny Mac

The garbage I am proud to say I avoided/will avoid:

Mother!
Blade Runner
Dunkirk

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Snowman_(2017_film)

Premise [edit]
When Harry Hole

And here I stopped reading.

It's okay, it's a Norwegian thing.

Harry Hole (pronounced "Harry HOO-LEH") is the main character in a series of crime novels written by Norwegian author Jo Nesbø.[1]

I already wasn't interested in that new Clooney thing, but after the 80th forced ad for it on Spotify this week, I'm now dead set against it.

all of them

ban hollywood

The Death of Stalin

The Lion King (Jon Favreau-directed 'live action' remake, 2019)

Clouds otm

Why I felt the need to post that I have no idea. Solidarity!

i cracked up at the trailer for the snowman. and they actually pronounce 'harry hole' like you'd think it would be pronounced.

This review makes it sound like an absolutely hot mess.

The Guernsey Middle Class Pablum Wankfest And Whoops A Daisy Fuck Off Society I

Paddy Considine's Journeyman

yeah, avoid journeyman like it's your germy nan

Steven Spielberg's Blackhawk

OK, maybe not. Just figured someone would say it eventually.

I had a free ticket for a preview of that Guernsey thing and couldn't bring myself to attend. I did see funny cow, in which considine is irritating.

Top of the avoidance pile has to be that dames reminiscing in the countryside film, looks pretty insufferable

Paddy Considine's Journeyman

Him and Shane Meadows are the absolute worst, that sounds like a shit movie or a shit band he's formed with Johnny Marr.

awesome thread for asking "whatever happened with that movie?"

★★★★’If Nick Hornby had considered structuring High Fidelity like (500) Days of Summer, the outcome might look something like the smart, music-centric British romantic comedy Modern Life Is Rubbish’ The Hollywood Reporter. In cinemas FRIDAY: Book tickets now:

If Ebola spread to the most populous cities of the world in a mutated superstrain that literally turned its victims inside out it would almost be as good as Modern Life is Rubbish

Lean on Pete

The Young Karl Marx

These are real movies?

lol yep

I’m seeing young Karl Marx for sure

Book Club. I suppose it's testimony to the power of...something...that Hollywood has made a movie featuring actresses of a certain age who AREN'T Meryl Streep. But no thank you.

Young Karl Marx is mostly harmless. Raoul Peck seems mostly drawn to the revolutionary-in-exile angle.

Before Death of Stalin today were the shit sandwich trailers for old people get their groove back movies Book Club and Finding Your Feet. (Saved by the Mister Rogers trailer as a lovely chaser.)

Via @iamchrishello I give you pure distilled awful pic.twitter.com/lgNFEiVnqg

— Paul Duane (@MrPaulDuane) August 29, 2018

that has got to be a joke

we can only hope

oh fuck it isn't. nuke planet from orbit.

ahahahaaaa

TBRR, I only know Sheeran as a subject of mockery on this board, but I don't need to hear a lick of his music to gawp in astonishment @ this concept.

Titles? I'm going to guess [Name of main character]-mania.

it's got "the fool on the hill" written all over it imho

woweeeeee

At great personal cost I once saw the most recent Bridget Jones movie, which has an extended arse-achingly tedious scene where Sheeran plays himself, not being recognised by the main character. It's one of the worst parts of a terrible, terrible film.

feel like theres a wave of conversion therapy movies coming out that i am going to Avoid

The Front Runner

King of Thieves w/ Michael Caine, Ray Winstone, Uncle Tom Courtenay and all

i missed the sheeran revive last week but i'm lolling hard now at the thought that danny boyle might have dropped out of directing the next bond movie to direct... an ed sheeran movie

At Eternity's Gate - Julian Schnabel's Van Gogh biopic w/ William Defoe. I loved the Altman and Pialat Van Gogh biopics in the 90's, but just feel strongly that this will be some nauseating garbage (see also every other shit Schnabel movie and his entire art career).

there's a bit in the trailer where he says he's painting for people who aren't born yet

lol, that's probably summat Schnabel said himself in the 80's, just before Clement Greenberg told him his work was complete dogshit!

Have we touched on the cringe-inducing trailer for Peppermint? It appears to be a Jennifer-Garner-headed remake of Death Wish (because one per year isn't enough?!) except this time every person she's killing is coded as Mexican.

I really like the name. It's refreshing. Like...well, I guess like peppermint! Ahhh.

that doc where a wide-eyed dem travels to trump country

Rami Malek as Freddie Mercury
Hugh Jackman as Gary Hart
Christian Bale and Dick Cheney

A Star is Born, The Wife, A Simple Favour; I hadn’t planned on seeing any, but here I am at the cinema and this is all that’s on. Anyone have any idea which might be the most compelling of the three?

Christian Bale and Dick Cheney

this trailer generated a surprising number of whoops and cheers at my mostly 18-35 screening of A Star is Born. Everything about it remined me of what I dislike about Christian Bale's approach to acting and Adam McKay's approach to comedy.

I'd see The Wife out of that lot.

Why are people I like and thought I knew seeing A Star is Born? What is going on tbh

tt: only one of those is by Paul Feig

I know we're in Oscar bait season, but the trailer for On the Basis of Sex further increased my Do Not Wants.

Has Felicity Jones been good in anything?

i have never seen her, so that tends toward no

would be pretty swank to have seen every good movie ever ;)

i find that whenever i reluctantly sit down to watch something, it's almost always bad, so imagine how awful the stuff i skip must be.

The white people I know are awful, imagine how much worse all those unknown brown people must be.

now that's an award-winning straw man intro right there

Haha ok what the FUCK is this green book movie, how is it real. I saw the trailer and it was hilariously bad, it really feels like a parody trailer in the “simple jack” genre. Like, I might actually watch this it looks so bad

dark gritty Driving Miss Daisy reboot

Guido Mortensen vs ~articulate~

one does not simply walk into Mississippi

hahahahaha

Black Panther; I forgot to put that one down here months ago.

Cuarón, Jenkins and maybe a few others aside, this year's holiday/awards season crop looks pretty dire.

idk it seems pretty routine.

good:
Roma (assuming)
Beale Street (assuming)
Burning (assuming)
Vice (assuming... w/e I'm looking forward to it)
The Favourite
First Reformed
Eighth Grade
BlacKkKlansman
Can You Ever Forgive Me?
Paddington 2
First Man

bad:
A Star is Born (i liked it for what it was but foh w/ any awards)
Bohemian Rhapsody
Green Book
Boy Erased
Beautiful Boy
Mary Poppins (wtf is this shit?)

i also don't think it's the worst year, but to be fair, a bunch of stuff on your 'good' list came out way earlier in the year.

yeah but they're getting nominated & winning, which is always good - silly to ignore films released before the fall/winter

fair enough, i took it as a comment on the 'awards movie season' as much as we evaluate 'this year's summer blockbuster crop' etc.

Beale Street was a mild disappointment.

Q: Is Green Book a spiritual sequel to Crash? Or is it a literal sequel to Crash?

Prequel

soft reboot

fair enough, i took it as a comment on the 'awards movie season' as much as we evaluate 'this year's summer blockbuster crop' etc.

― |Restore| |Restart| |Quit| (Doctor Casino), Monday, December 10, 2018 4:51 PM (seven hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

actually you're right, esp. with the wicked trifecta of star/book/rhapsody

Don't feel like Roma and A Phantom Thread (the 1/2 in the S&S poll) were that big a deal.

Benadryl Camembert IS Brexit

Did Michael sheen die or something?

The Favourite
Roma
The House that Jack Built

so they really cast the most posh, royal family-looking British actress as Brooklyn-born, second generation Jewish immigrant Ruth Bader Ginsburg? the Jews who control Hollywood need to be replaced with better Jews

— etan (@EtanHeytan) December 11, 2018

that movie has such a dumb, unwieldy title

Pubescent kids gonna be so disappointed after they surreptitiously DVR this Sex movie six months from now.

seems obvious they were banking on "RBG" as a can't-miss title, then the doc scooped them, and then they had months to come up with something else and just kept procrastinating the big meeting.

Oh is that what that film is about?! Funny that it’s coming out so close to the doc, one for the magician movies thread

This type of film is such an insta-skip for me that the only reason the fact of its existence has stuck in my mind at all is that the director mimi leder did consistently excellent work on the leftovers, & when I looked her up on the basis of that I saw that she’d directed deep impact and this upcoming oscarbait thing

Whoa

On The Basis Of Comets

Leder also helmed the icky Pay It Forward, which automatically cancels any interest I might have had in seeing this (though I had none).

On The Basis Of Comets

ehh I think of leder as an example of how female filmmakers only get 1-2 cracks at blockbuster scale work if they "underperform" (or make money but not quite ENOUGH money) while male mediocrities seem to get chance after chance after chance. deep impact is a perfectly reasonable disaster movie that was only overshadowed because armageddon (same subject matter, different genre) was concentrated preposterous manipulative cheese. the peacemaker was pretty lame on recent rewatch, i'll admit. disclaimer, i haven't read any interviews or anything to back this up - maybe she found doing these movies to be a nightmare and never went back on purpose, idk.

Deep Impact is dope, maybe I will see this new Notorious RBG film

I mean ...

2	Armageddon	BV	$201,578,182	3,184	$36,089,972	3,127	7/1
8	Deep Impact	Par.	$140,464,664	3,280	$41,152,375	3,156	5/8

Not to mention that apparently Deep Impact cost about half as much to make as Armageddon.

green book, the upside

why are these movies still being made

Oscars, baby

are the voters who nominated guess who's coming to dinner still voting?

why are these movies still being made

tide goes in, tide goes out

I had my "enough" moment with comic book movies back in 2015.
I saw "The Rock" in theaters and I haven't seen another Michael Bay movie since.
Anything directed by Zach Snyder is also insta-banned.

Honey Boy

lol this has a trailer now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0irKUtaCaU

And who was asking for a Mapplethorpe biopic?
https://youtu.be/TvXLMpjyqpU

new liam neeson joint "cold wish or whatever" sounds exactly like every other liam neeson movie in the past two decades.

the best part of Love Actually was when crying Liam Neeson kicked the sexist US President through a window and the president knocked over Egg Off Of This Life and all his stalker cue cards

I am baffled as to why Cold Pursuit has such a "wacky comedy" poster:

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BOGY3YjUzOTgtMmJmMS00ZDJjLTkwOGEtYWE3Mjk0ZTgwYmY4XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjM4NTM5NDY@._V1_SY1000_SX675_AL_.jpg

Like, the tagline looks like it should read "Everyone remember where we parked."

lmfao otm

It's a remake of a Norwegian comedy (with a script from a Danish writer). Very good film, the original, but even thought the director is the same I have a hard time imagining it to be any good. It's so much about Norway.

Don't fret, no one knows Norway quite like Hollywood.

Hey, if it's half as good as Nolan's remake of Insomnia it'll be complete fucking shit

I saw it today, Fred is right, Cold Pursuit is a black comedy disguised as an action movie. it's very similar to Miami Blues, and in the same universe as Repo Man (though not nearly as good as either). worth seeing imo, and I hate all that Taken shit. it's not like that at all

Liam Neeson's action star career has run the gamut from competent trash to outstanding. Taken obv made him viable as an action commodity but its the least interesting film of this era (well maybe more interesting than Taken 2&3...) The Grey and A Walk Among the Tombstones and a couple of those Collet-Serra flicks are great.

Perhaps unfairly, i assume any movie with liam neeson isn’t worth watching

gonna fight you over Darkman

and Buster Scruggs I guess

The Grey is really good

Director: Gurinder Chadha
Starring: Rob Brydon, Dean-Charles Chapman, Hayley Atwell, Aaron Phagura, Kulvinder Ghir, Sally Phillips, Viveik Kalra, Nell Williams, Meera Ganatra
Duration: 117 min

In 1987 during the austere days of Thatcher's Britain, a teenager learns to live life, understand his family and find his own voice through the music of Bruce Springsteen.

the first movie written solely for eric alterman

Saw the trailer for that the other day and it looked so bad I was embarrassed to be there for that two minutes.

there's a mini-trend of movies trying to follow the commercial success of bo rhap, using some combination of 1. britain 2. minority groups 3. classic rock. rocketman and yesterday being the other prominent ones, and this one looking by far the worst.

to be fair, Rocketman started filming before Bohemian Rhapsody even came out, although of course its director is the guy who'd replaced Singer on BR, so maybe he had some confidence it would be a hit.

No intention of seeing any of them but rocket man does sound better than the other three, which I would rather be murdered badly than have to see

I bought a ticket for a “surprise film” knowing only that it was a preview of a “much anticipated” upcoming film. I thought it might be the qt or almodóvar but it turned out to be that Springsteen thing ☹️

I gave it 40 minutes

Jesus... how are you holding up?

lol

I mean the film is exactly what it looks like. I could have seen a preview of it for free earlier this week and couldn’t be bothered, it genuinely never occurred to me that it could be the surprise film. When the title came up several people murmured “oh no”

One of my funniest cinema experiences was years ago at the film festival, they always close with a mystery film (eg last year was Roma), that year it was that proclaimers musical for some reason. When the title came up two guys in front of me looked at each other and without saying a word got up and left - maybe you had to be there but it made the whole thing worthwhile for me

When the title came up several people murmured “oh no”

lmfao!!

I saw the trailer for it before Yesterday (which I really liked, leagues better than Rocketman and, from what I gather, BoRap), and the Springsteen movie is like one of those shitty 95/96 Pulp Fiction ripoffs, but of a movie released 2 months prior.

Avoiding the hell out of that Springsteen movie, but I keep reading reviews of it for some reason. I'm weirdly fascinated by the fact that it even exists. A couple of Springsteen superfans made a movie about the true story of one of them becoming a Springsteen superfan? And people let this happen?

Probably got through on the strength of the current wave of boomer rock flicks (Queen, Elton, that “what if the Beatles never happened?” one...)

(which I now see represents the bulk of the recent discussion in this thread)

I saw the title of the thread and was like, "hmm, I wonder if there's anything about that Springsteen movie." Was amused to see that this is all that's been talked about in the thread for the last month or so.

The Irishman

I’ve somehow avoided hearing that much about this, and I can’t imagine myself not being curious enough to watch any new Scorsese at some point, but the “de-aging” stuff looks ridiculous.

everything about it seems completely dumb and pointless to me, but its going to be playing at the arthouse down the block from me and tbh i feel like theres probably going to be a quiet night when my morbid curiosity gets the best of me and i'll take a sad walk of shame down there to check it out

you ppl who proudly watch Tarantella's offal

Totino is best film maker of are generatin, Scorswayze is tired hakc

fucking Tom Hanks mr Rogers

Scorsese’s good imo

Didn’t watch the Dylan thing but will see this at some point, if it weren’t on Netflix I’d watch it sooner

you princes of Maine
you ppl who proudly watch tarantella's offal

It is with pride that I do tarantella

How was your boy genius Spielberg's intellectual property wankfest Ready Player One again?

Far fewer than 210 minutes, for starters.

So are all of Tarantino’s films, except for the sole all-in-one print of Kill Bill, which Morbs didn’t fly to Austin or Paris to see in 2011.

shorter than the Irishman: ready player one, all Tarantino

longer than the Irishman: satantango, all lav diaz, flying from New York to Paris to watch kill bill

Earlier this year I sat through 1900 (5+ hours) and didn't even stretch my legs at the intermission. But this year's crop of Oscar bait is going to have to be pretty weak to get me to see The Irishman in a theater.

Turns out there were two screenings in Philly in 2013 - Morbs could have taken the Megabus for the matinée and been back in NYC for dinner.

flying from New York to Paris to watch kill bill

iirc you were the ilxor who was going to fly to New York to watch Eight Hours Don't Make a Day!

Also, not quite ALL Lav Diaz.

Well I mean that wasn’t why I flew to New York. But I’d do it again even tho both flight and screening were longer than the Irishman, ready player one, and all Tarantino

Jojo Rabbit

I support your choice.

i enjoyed it but it took a while for me to build up some measure of trust in what it was doing/going for, and i can easily imagine it failing that test for different viewers

It's got some good people in it, but from the trailer KNIVES OUT looks totally insufferable.

looks like rian johnson is going back to incompetently imitating detective writers

The Megyn Kelly biopic Bombshell. I suppose it seemed like a good idea to idiots in 2017.

1917
vaguely jingoistic sam mendes helmed ww1 epic hellscape with heavy FPS visual identity=pass

hard pass also on Midway

1917 is getting the kind of rave reviews that have betrayed me w/every Sam Mendes film i've seen

i kind of secretly hate every film and television show and play he's ever done

Otm. Incredible to me that he has done Skyfall and basically nothing else worth seeing.

Skyfall is "impressive" but i think where he falls flat is he makes these very beautiful images which are cinematically inert, even in his two big budget action movies. Skyfall looks amazing but seems worse over time, and Spectre didn't even have the beautiful look.

i gotta say i got suddenly more interested in Midway when i realized it was a Roland Emmerich destruction schlockfest and not another oscar-bait mournful war film. not enough to actually go see it, mind you.

Richard Jewell

Trying to think: has there been a mainstream film with a rote '(first name) + (last name)' title that wasn't cinematic bullshit?

barry lyndon and... toni erdmann

Truck Turner

Jackie Brown

daniel blake (i am,)

Irma Vep. Simon H liked Martin Eden. Andrej Rublev.

Charley Varrick
Ed Wood
Donnie Brasco
Elmer Gantry
Air Bud

Marie Antoinette, Effi Briest, Brewster McCloud, Cluny Brown...

Action Jackson

Brewster McCloud
Norma Rae
Hudson Hawk

oh wait B.McC was posted

just saw marie antoinette the other night, it ruled

and I hear good things about John Wick

Ha, I knew I was setting myself up with that post. Although I should've clarified that I meant biographical films using that title format. Under the new, tightened restrictions, I'd say the only exceptions mentioned that prove the rule are Ed Wood and Air Bud.

Erin Brockovitch?

Marie Antoinette doesn’t fit firstname + lastname formula y’all

Definitely one that sucked was Steve Jobs

Probably doesn’t need to be stated, but: Cats

I totally forgot Cats was even happening until I saw some fancy new edition of the Eliot book today. And then I remembered and I died. I died, guys. I died.

Most of the movies represented during the pre-Star Wars trailer suite looked like steamy refuse but the only one that stood out enough to really get my goat was the one that, sight unseen, I would've found the least objectionable.

Why. The fuck. Is the dog in the new Call of the Wild 100% bad CGI. What could possibly justify not using an actual dog in a live action movie about a dog. Did Harrison Ford only agree to star if they were willing to hang a green screen hung in his living room so he never had to leave his easy chair?

EXCLUSIVE: James @mang0ld to direct Timothee Chalamet in Searchlight’s #GoingElectric about Bob Dylan’s move from folk to rock musichttps://t.co/OZnkvp1dVs

— Deadline Hollywood (@DEADLINE) January 6, 2020

Lol good nominee

ugggggh Fuckkkk that!

Chalamet is a terrible actor

coming around on it purely for the fact that no on will be more annoyed at its existence than robert himself

I thought I read he was executive producing it?

jesus, missed that

some fuckwit has made a movie about the military wives choir

We needed calendar girls for gammonettes

I would watch a Short Cuts style movie about the wall of gammon lads tbh

I once sent a very offensive and treasonable comment to military wives choir on twitter in response to their xmas single when i was pissed. GCHQ probably have a file on me.

ugh, Peter Cattaneo

as well as all that other parochial garbage he also did the fucking A Word. I nearly assaulted my television with a lump hammer over that shit!

jesus what a wasteman

ffs Sharon Horgan youre better than this

She was also in that awful Game Night movie, which she was also better than.

Crazy Samurai Musashi: https://www.filmfreakcentral.net/ffc/2020/08/fantastia-fest-20-crazy-samurai-musashi.html

I love examples where certain reviews are better than the movie itself

Tenet

The Painted Bird

What if you saved a souvenir from every relationship you've ever been in? THE BROKEN HEARTS GALLERY follows the always unique Lucy (Geraldine Viswanathan), a 20-something art gallery assistant living in New York City, who also happens to be an emotional hoarder. After she gets dumped by her latest boyfriend, Lucy is inspired to create The Broken Heart Gallery, a pop-up space for the items love has left behind. Word of the gallery spreads, encouraging a movement and a fresh start for all the romantics out there, including Lucy herself.

it's the last sentence that really suggests "this will be trite and forced and awful"

Pete formerly of this parish had a lot of good things to say about it - it stars the actress who played John Cena's daughter from Blockers!

well, certainly i support her getting more work! the kids in Blockers were all really good iirc.

Avoiding it all this year as the 2nd wave comes along :-(

The Painted Bird

― A White, White Gay (cryptosicko), Wednesday, 16 September 2020 01:04 (three days ago) bookmarkflaglink

otm times a thousand

Hillbilly Elegy

o shit yes

Spencer
Belfast

Spencer's good, but in an "effective portrait of a miserable situation" way. which i would fault no one for avoiding.

Dune

i am also avoiding belfast

i liked dune. it is about as "out there" as a mainstream movie can get.

It's going to turn into a three film bore fest. Just can't face it.

The worms are definitely boring… through the sand, that is

I lasted ten minutes through King Richard.

Gonna be fantastic seeing Big Willie Style sweep the crix awards this year.

Maybe its sorry-ass box office this weekend will save us.

Ope, too late, his Oscar's already been engraved.

letterboxd thread just reminded me of "C'mon C'mon," starring Joaquin Phoenix as a Nice Black-and-White Dad.

mike mills is such a good director tho. and he's an uncle!

Yeah, after 20th Century Women I'll give this one a shot.

West Side Story. The original's okay, and I would sometimes play the opening clip for students on Jerome Robbins' birthday (primarily because the concept of a choreographer would be new to them). Nothing drawing me to a remake.

Awards Season 2021 edition: House of Gucci; King Richard; tick, tick…BOOM!

I hope not to see a worse movie in the next two-ish months than tick tick BOOM!

HoGucc was a delightful, silly diversion in the theatre but would mostly slide off the eyes and brain at home

(hadn't seen a Scott in literally 30 years till The Last Duel, came out amped that I only had to wait a month for another three-hour historical Ridley epic starring Adam Driver)

at home

though it would probably have made a better five-hour miniseries

http://www.impawards.com/2022/morbius_xlg.html

that was supposed to be https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morbius_(film)

letterboxd thread just reminded me of "C'mon C'mon," starring Joaquin Phoenix as a Nice Black-and-White Dad.

― I Am Fribbulus (Xax) (Doctor Casino),

this is exactly what it is

except he's a nice B&W unc.

Really wanna see House of Gooch tbh

Here, found it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBv3_0j0y_4

Elvis

Baz Luhrmann is a tacky vulgarian and should never be allowed to make a film ever again.

Bardo

(Walter Chaw: “Bardo is Jay Sherman’s 8 1/2, and knowing it doesn’t excuse it.”)

Despite being wuite capable of impure thoughts about Daisy Edgar-Jones, you could not pay me to see WHERE THE CRAWDADS SING

*quite

That movie title makes me think of some sort of swamp Disney singing animal thing, or Ghost World’s parody Miramax-style art film “The Flower that Drank the Moon”

I thought that was the new Scorsese movie.

is it just me or is The Fabelmans a deeply embarrassing looking film?

It's called THE FABLEMANS

*FABELMANS

The Moviesons

so you're agreeing with me

*i'm not a fabelmans, i'm a fable, maaaaaaaan*

Yeah it looks stupid as shit

The O’Silverscreensons

MOM: "You go ahead and make those movies!"
DAD: "There's more to life than movies!"
LIL STEVIE: "Movies: The Movie"
THE ACADEMY: "Give that man 1000 Golden Moviemans, hereafter known as Oscar Fabelmans"

I’m pretty sure I’ll avoid it but I do want to hear from someone who’s seen All Jacked Up And Full of Worms.

I want to see the bit of The Fabelmans where he finally meets John Ford and it's David Lynch, but YouTube will probably sort me out for that if I wait a few months.

Morbius would have defended this, miss him.

Something about the Violent Night premise is intensely irritating to me.

Yeah, that looks like garbage.

gleefully smug transgressive action movies kinda wearying to me in general, maybe moreso these days. santa claus as a skilled wildcard killer foiling the bad guys' plans almost too dumb to be real. the die hard in a chimney premise almost feels like a simpsons parody.

I’ll possibly end up seeing it anyway, but The Whale looks miserable.

hard hard avoid from me

Babylon, AMPAS indifference willing

avatar, obvs

I still can’t believe I saw the last one

Bardo, False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths

The theatrical version of The Whale is an incredibly moving piece of theatre. No idea how the film version will shake out but I'm going to give it a try.

Violent Night ruled. It's a bit weird in that its core, it's really a traditional family Christmas movie, but then eventually bad guys get decapitated.

It's more like Miracle on 34th Street with Santa ruthlessly killing bad guys to protect a little girl from harm.

Pretty sure The Whale.

seconded

Enys Men, Tar, The Banshees of Inisherin

Aftersun looks kinda lame tbh.

It's terrific.

It gets the Alfred B+ by me

Aftersun rules

Despite my reservations, Frankie Corio gives the best youth performance I've seen in a very long time

it's a heartwarming, wistful memories of dad movie isn't it? I've seen people praising it but I've not felt very tempted to watch it as yet.

Wistful, sure. Dunno about heartwarming.

Saw a poster for Tar after coming out of a re-screening of Roman Holiday (Wyler, 1953). I can see the value of wanting things like this: light script (with stuff beneath if you wanted to go there), beautiful leads with chemistry, the right length of 90 minutes so no overstaying.

Films are absolutely all too long these days. Or rather, they spend too much time in the 2 1/2, 3 hour zone. Give me 80 min or give ne 4 hours.

Very few films justify the length of over two hours.

And the most repetitive but truthful comment is to say that x film was great but 20 mins too long.

It's become especially noticeable since 2020, as if COVID killed editors.

It's weird because something frivolous, fun, but also nicely made and played, that doesn't speak to anything contemporary and 'short' would be just the ticket after 2/3 years of no cinema.

(I am not looking too closely so I'm sure those things are about, but what dominates attention -- and is sadly on my radar -- is stuff like Tar rn)

Length=$ in the streaming era, everyone wants inventory

A nice side effect of this for me personally tho is that Bollywood/Kolywood/Tollywood productions no longer seem daunting. I used to avoid that territory because of lenght issues but now they're just the same size as yet average thing at the cinema.

On my most tinhat days I suspect Hollywood is actively killing off the movie format in order to force people toward prestige TV, where minutes watched is the base metric, not admissions.

It's like one of the metrics for an app. The 'best' ones are usually judged as the ones you never log away from.

I tend tor reserve posts here for awful-looking prestige-y things, rather than bullshit that has no reason to exist in the first place, but: 80 for Brady

^^Ditto for that gruesome looking Tom Hanks thing; too obvious x 10 for this thread, but some kind of nadir for him based on the trailer I saw.

fuck yeah I don't need to see Hanks play a lovable ignorant racist dummy

this scene so fucking unserious son pic.twitter.com/Cqjk7gUqky

— yo raheem is dead somebody shot em (@mrmovedathand) March 16, 2023

i rewatched john wick 2 last night and that scene is so fucking good

these movies do not take place in the real world hope that helps

Yeah it's no different than a film in the John Wooniverse

The John Wick thing has totally passed me by so "doesn't take place in the real world" helps.

I have news for you about every other film.

No please no more news I can't cope.

Air

who fuckin cares about this story

And it played on many screens at my local arthouse in a city where two shut down in the last year.

trailer feels like a parody...like in Maxx Barry's snarky ad-firm satire Syrup, where the characters sell the idea of a film "starring Coca-Cola."

Brand origin stories are the new biopics -- Air, Pinball, Flamin' Hot, etc.

Avoiding on squeamish grounds rather than quality control grounds:

DE HUMANI CORPORIS FABRICA
Verena Paravel, 2022
Plunging into the viscera of human bodies, the directorial duo behind Leviathan open up glistening worlds of ecstatic abstraction. Never shrinking from grit or guts, this fascinating documentary surfaces in underfunded Parisian hospitals, where doctors inject a good dose of humor into disrepair.

This weekend I sat through the trailers twice for About My Father and You Hurt My Feelings; this was three times too many.

Extraction 2. Don't even try to fool me with this one, Letterboxd mutuals

Both Barbie and Oppenheimer

I'd watch a Gerwig-directed Oppenheimer.

Juding by box office it seems I'm not the only one avoiding the new Indiana Jones.

I would avoid that, but my sister wants to go. If it's at an Alamo Drafthouse, I can get regularly replenished drinks during the screening.

I'd watch a Gerwig-directed Oppenheimer.

And I would watch a Nolan-directed Barbie. They should have traded movies.

Barbie played by Tom Hardy

Oppenheimer played by Saorsie Ronan.

Wonder if Oppenheimer will cover the goings on in the Congo as detailed in parts of this piece, rather than torturing a guy's conscience for three hours?

https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v45/n12/kevin-okoth/poison-is-better

First trailer for Ridley Scott’s ‘NAPOLEON’ starring Joaquin Phoenix. pic.twitter.com/Ab301ec9fN

— Film Updates (@FilmUpdates) July 10, 2023

lots of english actors and Joaquin Phoenix doing stupid 'Allo 'Allo! accents and lots of tedious cgi naval battles... no no no fuck off

lol, will probably still watch it tho!

This'll be better than Joker for sure! idk I'll give Ridley some slack when it comes to a period movie with big epic battles but that's based probably solely on Kingdom of Heaven.

I think I still prefer the never-made Kubrick one.

I continue to be sulky that the 1927 version is still not officially available in Region A. Has Brownlow's work been for nothing?

Gotta get me a polyvision compatible tv.

Sound of Freedom

Yes, not even morbid curiosity will get me to see that. But is there a thread around for discussion of the right-wing media-industrial complex in general, or this specific film's distribution model?

There's always this short-lived thread: Favorite Right-Wing Movies

one of these types of movies comes out every couple weeks now:

Dumb Money is a 2023 American biographical comedy-drama film directed by Craig Gillespie and written by Lauren Schuker Blum and Rebecca Angelo. It is based on the 2021 book The Antisocial Network by Ben Mezrich and chronicles the GameStop short squeeze of January 2021. The film features an ensemble cast that includes Paul Dano, Pete Davidson, Vincent D'Onofrio, America Ferrera, Nick Offerman, Anthony Ramos, Sebastian Stan, Shailene Woodley, and Seth Rogen.

yeah lol it's pretty dire

This level of hackery is almost admirable

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Mezrich#Non-fiction

'Meanwhile, isn't Eddie Redmayne amazing as a Dane, let's give him all the oscars!'

― Frederik B

holy shit this is the best fucking take on The Danish Girl ever

guys you wanna know the problem with The Danish Girl? eddie redmayne ISN'T EVEN DANISH

We've had what the Red Hot Cheetos movie, the beanie babies movie, tetris, blackberry, what other bullshit am I forgetting?

I'd forgotten all about eddie redmayne

i'm just sick and tired of hollywood's constant perpetuation of negative danish stereotypes. it's not as bad as it used to be, for the most part, but nobody understands or wants to acknowledge just how much harm danephobic stereotypes in the media have done to danish people for decades now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHQojhNjnks

lol beat me to it

Hollywood has always been envious of Danish culture, so they lean on those stereotypes as a sort of Copenhagen mechanism

good lord

We've had what the Red Hot Cheetos movie, the beanie babies movie, tetris, blackberry, what other bullshit am I forgetting?

― omar little, Tuesday, September 26, 2023 4:38 PM bookmarkflaglink

Air Jordans movie, two different Ferrari movies, two direct-to-streaming Fyre Festival docs, various direct-to-streaming miniseries about things that were interesting when someone shared an Atlantic or VF piece on ILX (ex. McDonald's Monopoly scandal) but which cannot sustain unlimited padding, and about four hundred thousand direct-to-streaming docs on justly forgotten movies/shows/toys that would have been unbearable even as twenty-minute YouTube reports by talented amateur video essayists.

docs on justly forgotten movies/shows/toys that would have been unbearable even as twenty-minute YouTube reports by talented amateur video essayists

wait this is pretty much all i watch, if any of these are even a quarter as good as "Ranking Anime Denny's" i'm fucking in

I think doc is more thinking about crap like The Toys That Made Me, the tmnt episode of which I grudgingly sat through. Obviously if netflix gave hazel a deal that'd be rad.

it's not as bad as it used to be, for the most part

https://i.imgur.com/wCyhTqh.jpg

I think doc is more thinking about crap like The Toys That Made Me, the tmnt episode of which I grudgingly sat through. Obviously if netflix gave hazel a deal that'd be rad.

― Daniel_Rf

yeah i remember when that came out and i was like "that sounds interesting" and i never watched it, i guess it wasn't interesting

i genuinely love "wallpaper television" like "how it's made" though. you know, it's like some kids are with videos of construction equipment

that stuff would be ok if it was done "slow TV" style, can't be doing with excitable talkovers tho

see also: Billy Nighy shut up and let me just watch the train journey

yeah, one of the worst things about almost all television is overactive narrators, especially when they're supposed to be funny/cheeky/zany. for example, there are many horrible things about Love Island, but deleting the narrator is the single thing you could do that would most reduce the suffering of watching it, or passing through a room where it's on.

This is quite late but I did see a trailer for Maestro before Fallen Leaves some weeks ago and had a real "who in the world would be interested in this?" reaction.

Also, currently discussed on the anti-semitism thread, had one look at One Life poster at a bus stop and that was enough to know this was going to be one to avoid.

anything directed by bradley cooper
anything directed by matthew vaughn

bradley cooper seems like the new eddie redmayne, the young star oscar voters want to pinch the cheek of

He's 49!

That's almost a budding prodigy relative to many voting members of the Academy.

I can't bring myself to watch Wicked Little Letters despite quite a few people telling me it's good - balanced by one friend walking out of it after less than half an hour.

"Best British comedy film of the year" blurb makes it sound v unappealing.

I seem to remember very very early press was dreadful then suddenly switched arcs to 4* across the board.

Harold and the Purple Crayon

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_and_the_Purple_Crayon_(film)

Live action and Harold is an adult.

Sounds like somebody decided to make a male Barbie.

That stupid Robbie Williams monkey thing.

Lol, wanna know the story of how that was made in the first place

Just saw there's another Knives Out coming. Why I watched the second one after hating the first one mystifies me; can't think of an original/sequel I despise more.

I will definitely be avoiding the latest Netflix boondoggle The Electric State. Josh in Chicago already quoted a bit of Walter Chaw's review in the Streaming Media thread, but here's some more:

Of the many ways Carrie Fisher’s death has impacted us as a society, the loss of her script-doctoring services in Hollywood may ultimately be the most painful. Turns out Michelle broke bad because her genius little brother Christopher (Woody Norman, cast I think because he looks like a different one of the “Stranger Things” kids) died in a car accident that also claimed their mother. “Our car hit a deer…” she tells an unfeeling authority figure who just won’t listen, “…in the road.” In the road? Really, Michelle? You hit a deer in the road? I thought maybe you hit the deer as you were driving through the forest at 50 miles an hour. In the road. Why did you pause dramatically before saying that? It occurs to me that this film would be a full hour shorter if you cut out the 60 pages of shit like this. “We were eating dinner…it was food.” Soon, Michelle finds a robot in her garden shed in a sequence that is very probably shot-for-shot the one where Elliott discovers E.T. in his backyard. But it’s not E.T. See what I did there? I wasted your time.

Watched this last night and my wife & I were both crying laughing at the "in the road" line. Going to be saying that one for a long time.

I dreamt that there was a new movie out that was the latest in the shoe movie/blackberry/poptart/flamin hot trend, like exactly in that 2020s mode, but it was an adaptation of Robert Rodriguez’s REBEL WITHOUT A CREW about how he made el mariachi in the 90s. The movie was so annoying that I woke up mad

Going to bend this thread a bit for my own purposes--"Last (x) Movies You Should Avoid but Will End Up Hate-Watching Anyway"--rather than post in the thread already opened up for it: Wes Anderson's The Phoenician Scheme. I'm trying, as much as possible, to avoid threads where I sense acolytes lurking and ready to pounce...Saw the trailer tonight. Starting with The Grand Budapest Hotel, all I can wonder with each new film is whether it looks more or less repellent than the last one.

I mean, I think of The Grand Budapest Hotel as one of his best, and I'm still pretty leery about this (but will still see it).

I was wary of Asteroid City, and had skipped French Dispatch, but ended up loving Asteroid, so learned my lesson.

The Grand Budapest Hotel takes all that's best about Rushmore, I think, and places it in a bigger canvas. A tremendous achievement, full of warmth and vitality.

To address the thread: I don't watch trailers, mostly.

Moonrise Kingdom was the last one I fully enjoyed. Never saw Asteroid...

I was wary of Asteroid City, and had skipped French Dispatch, but ended up loving Asteroid, so learned my lesson.

Moonrise Kingdom was the last one I fully enjoyed.

Exactly the same. The gap between Rushmore--close to perfect--and the hotel movie is painful.

Grand hotel is awesome, c’mon

I truly despise it.

thought this bump would be about materialists. personally i’m anticipating it but lots of ppl were hating on the trailer

Mission Impossible. Anything with Tom Cruise should be avoided anyway, even before engaging with the films.

Seeing the BFI/NFT fawning over Cruise recently so he can flog his shitty spy movie was truly puke-making.

your loss. Cruise is a douche and a bad person but this is one of the best franchises going

Yeah the BFI fawning over Cruise was disgusting. It's kinda weird how all discourse around him is now The Last Movie Star, Save Us Mr.Cinema, etc.

The franchise WAS good but Cruise himself has become a weird presence in them. He's just not that fun anymore.

last good movie he was in was Edge of Tomorrow. Don't talk to me about the Top Gun sequel - not going near that shite!

Better jingoism than the original

I dunno, a jingoism that won't even say who the dreaded Other is for fear of losing international box office seems pretty weak to me.

ive been thinking about the scene in minority report where cruise weans himself off a super addictive drug by force of will. an addiction that wasnt set up well and had no purpose in the plot. i imagine spielberg rolling his eyes while directing it.

Ward and Daniel otm re: BFIs behavior. What happened to #metoo? The guy should be treated a bit morrle like Polanski. Whether you want to watch it is up to you and I guess if something is good then its difficult to navigate, but institutions like the BFI should not be giving this time of day.

Yeah I guess it's more abstract than Polanski where you have an actual victim, events, etc. to point to but no matter how you cut it the church of scientology is an abusive cult and Cruise's support for it should be more of a red line than it seems to be for most.

Almost a parody of the kind of film this thread was created for:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlN1Mmj6YNo

the life of chuck: he's here to fuck

I saw a shorter trailer that was like FROM THE MIND OF STEPHEN KING… AND THE HEART AND SOUL OF MIKE FLANAGAN and there were big laughs and groans from the audience

christ, the thought of how many terrible mike flanagan monologues must be in that script is deeply troubling.

Superman, 28 whatever later..

lol c'mon xyzzz have you ever watched a Marvel/DC in the theater?

summer tentpole movie happy gilmore 2, the trailer of which seems to be imitating the ai simpsons trailer.

xp - I watched the last Nolan Batman with some work colleagues at the time. Was being sociable then.

Nothing but respect for my (unmade) Marvel movie

https://www.criterion.com/current/posts/5418-marvel-mon-amour-stan-lee-and-alain-resnais-s-unmade-monster-movie?srsltid=AfmBOopGuEUuDA303Y3NkoWfXosZTbsjuSlmLvMiI3ZpxtQXYXKtXvd7

Awesome. Resnais maintained that he made v serious films because most film back at the end of the 50s was frivolous and fun.

Some of his later films were more at the frivolous end, comedy drama and musical. They got to be more frivolous and fun as films got more serious.