Ask Dr. Morbius

I'm not Morbs, but remind him that in 2001, Bud Smith of the Saint Louis Cardinals threw a no-hitter. Who is Bud Smith?

Also, "sample size".

He doesn't understand these words. I've tried to explain this things to him. I am basically trying to avoid saying "shut up you dumfuk" without having to be either a) diplomatic or b) long winded.

If he doesn't understand those words, then "shut up you dumfuk" is just about all the explanation he needs, amirite?

dear morbs,

thanks for your call this morning, sorry i couldn't go. can we plan something soon, though? so that it actually happens?

xoxo,

tza

Time will answer Karstens questions. The you can say-I-told-you-so. Or hopefully, be embarrassed by Karstens' 3 Cy Young Awards and Nady reverting to a C+ player.

Sure, tza.

Hey Morbs what are the odds on an all Chicago series?

well, the odds of them both making the playoffs at this point are around 70% (ie, 98% for the Cubs and 70% for the Sox). Judging the subsequent LDS and LCS outcomes all as something approximating a coin flip, I'd say all-Chi WS is between 4%-5%.

Doctorb Morbius, what's the general SABRDUUD opinion on Lincecum vis-a-vis the 2008 NL Sigh Young Reward?

Should I have asked this question in English?

I'd say they are generally considered neck-and-neck. Sheehan did a few awards-related columns on Prospectus last week, and he pointed out that as fine a season as Webb is having, he may win the right award in the wrong year (due to the BBWAA's doting on W-L, which also was the basis for gypping Webb out of Rookie of the Year). Webb's BB/K rate is a tad better, their HR rates are similar, and I think Timmy has a slight edge everywhere else.

Lincecum leads right now in VORP (w/ Santana 2nd) and WARP, so I'd have to give it to him right now. BBWAA won't even consider him seriously unless T.L. also wins 20.

If the season ended today, I'd predict 1. Webb 2. Dempster 3. Lincecum.

The James Predictor suggests 2 & 3 would flip (as long as they're close in wins, Lincecum's strikeouts should impress more than Dempster).

But really, it's the BBWAA, fuck em.

Dempster wouldn't get any credit just for being a Cub instead of a Giant?

I don't think the success of the teams is as much of a predictor in the Cy Young vote as it is in the MVP.

Morbs,

When was the last time that the top 4 payrolls in baseball didn't make the playoffs?

Lovingly,

SS

I don't know, or esp care.

Dr. Morbius,

You know those Keith Law chat transcript looking things that you sometimes post that look like this:

Tom: St. Louis MO: What are your thoughts on Yost having Sabathia pitch the 9th the other night when he had already thrown 110 pitches and the Brewers had a 7 run lead?

Keith Law: (1:22 PM ET ) Idiotic. I'm not sure which is more likely to cause the Brewers to lose in their NLDS - their flammable bullpen, or their addled manager.

Where are those from?

They are from http://espn.com/mlb

You can follow them via the chat link when the chat is ongoing, BUT afterward they are usually behind their subscription wall.

Dr. Morbius, this is not about baseball, but hey what's up do you like the movie "Symbiopsychotaxiplasm" why because its intersting.

I worked on the sequel to that thing. I met S+3v3 Bu5c3m! and gave him a cigarette.

Dear Dr. Morbius:

My spouse is out with TOMBOT watching that new Coen Bros movie. Should I be concerned?

Concernedly,

Oh wait this is ILBaseball. Hmm, I supposed I should therefore as an ILB question.

Dear Dr. Morbius:

Wouldn't it be better if Mr. Que and TOMBOT were at a Nats game rather than that new Coen Bros movie?

Your thoughts appreciated,

quinc, I have never had a movie date w/ Tomboto, so don't know if he gets "fresh." (He did not try anything at the Nats game I went to w/ him tho.)

ian, I've never heard of it.

Dr. Morbius,

What is "secret sauce" you have been writing about vis-a-vis playoffs?

f

http://www.baseballprospectus.com/statistics/sortable/index.php?cid=280104

Here is a description:

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/fantasy/fsv/2008-09-23-FSV-003.htm

Ah, I see.

MY NAME IS

KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID

why is gabbknob back btw?

― Dr Morbius, Tuesday, April 28, 2009 3:14 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^ this is solid

life is hard, bro

gabbneb's back?

i've seen no evidence of this--check yr glasses morbs

Dear Dr Morbius,

is Kung Fu Hustle the greatest narrative feature film ever made, y/n?

n

(closer than Knocked Up or The Natural, obv)

Dr. M:

What are the Red Sox chances at winning the World Series this year, and why?

Thanks, and best regards.

-- Daniel

(I followed the pattern of posting like a letter, with signature. Kinda don't like the way it looks, in retrospect. Oh well.)

20-22%. Figure 12.5% for each of 8 equally balanced playoff teams, then factor in the AL's strength and the Sox likely being the 2nd-best AL team.

morbius who are your ten favorite players?

active?

let's say both

i'd like active, actually

but not my qn

active and passive

i KNEW that was comin, just not from you!

I'll keep this *mostly* to players I actually saw:

ALL-TIME
Seaver
Mays
Satchel Paige
Ruth
Joe Morgan
Rickey Henderson
Aaron
Barry Bonds
Tug McGraw
Bill (Spaceman) Lee

ACTIVE
David Wright
Pujols
Beltran
Sizemore
Mauer
Haren
Brian McCann
Utley
Pablo Sandoval
Ichiro

Dear Dr. Morbiouss,

What was it liek seeing babe ruth pitch?

--JTM

cheap

hahahaha

also surprised joe's unfortunate post-player career hasn't soured your opnion of him

I'm Solomonic that way.

lol Sandoval token bear

Esteem'd Morbius, Base-ball Physician,
Are there any managers, in your opinion, who help their team more than they hurt it? If so, what admirable qualities do they possess?

beats me

I think Scioscia and (it pains me to say) LaRussa and Cox come to mind first.

Dr. Morbius,

Given that Jim Riggleman is still allowed to manage a major league baseball team, even if it is the nationals, does that mean there is still hope for any of us who've thought "shit, I could manage a team, probably"?

Dear Dr. Morbius,
Did you know that many years ago Joyce Dewitt and Orson Bean were married, for a period of about 3 months?

Dear Dr. Morbius,
Who the fuck is Orson Bean?

dear doc morbs - has there been a time sum mets rooks have tore up the spring as much as ike davis & fmart have so far?

JD: Tailor your resume, emphasize people skills.
JR: I did not -- was Joyce into Wilhelm Reich too?
TT: A comedic actor and game-show panelist (b.1928 as Dallas Frederick Burrows) who you may have seen as the old millionaire who "pisses orange" in Being John Malkovich.
JC: Way too many times.

what is your would blap starting nine lineup for 2010?

i remember mauer and wright from last year, who else?

insufficient data.

aka he won't admit jeter's on it

he's not.

grit hater

ANSWER THE QUESTION OR YOU WILL BE ASSIGNED DAN UGGLA

Dear Doc,

Minus Perez, is the rest of the Mets starting pitching made up of clones of Steve Trachsel or does it just seem that way?

no, there was only one Trachsel

lol

Shot in the dark, but I wonder if you've ever come across a guy named Ed M3nt@ in SABR circles? I don't know how active of a member he is, but I do know he's published a couple of articles in the Baseball Research Journal.

nope, don't know the name.

Ah, OK. He's a theatre prof who directed me in a couple of plays in college. Kind of an old-school working-class lefty type, so you might get along, but he's also a Yankees fan.

Dr Morbius, I will be in New York at the start of May and am thinking of going to see a Yankees baseball match. Please keep in mind that I know almost nothing about baseball beyond the basics when I ask the following:

How easy or otherwise is it get tickets on the 'day' of the game? Is there a better way of getting tickets? How much should I expect to play for an OK seat?

I see from the Yankees schedule that they play the same opponents for three or so nights in a row - is that one loooong game, or three different games? What times do games start and finish? And is it possible to travel by subway to the Yankees stadium?

Thanks very much for any advice you might offer.

lol baseball 'match'. i am not the fabled doctor and cannot really speak to the ticket situation (it depends on the opponent, and stubhub.com is a good place to seek tickets), but:

three different games. starting at 7:05pm, ending between 10 and 10:30 typically (always later against the red sox). subway is the preferred method of travel.

and if you'd like company, we can probably arrange it.

what mook said. Buying tix directly from the Yankees must be avoided.

I am not sure I can ever set foot in the new Yankee 5-Star Hotel tho

Thank you mook and morbs.

Company would be v welcome (I shall be on my own) - will try not to overdo it on the Britishes tourist asking dumbo questions front. Looking at the Yankees' schedule, the best bets for me are either of their matches against the Astros on Tues 30th April or Weds 1st May. Shall investigate tix further.

LOL saying 'matches' is obv a v ingrained soccerball habit

against the Astros

ooooh, that's unfortunate

tell me more, WC!

think the Yankees are playing the Oakland As on the Friday, who obv I know from Moneyball etc, but that kinda clashes with my plan to go for the free late entry at MOMA on Friday

MoMA is horribly overcrowded at all times, but I could get you in cheap if I knew my going-out status for late April.

The Astros were the worst team in baseball last year and are moving into a tougher league this season.

Astros are comically bad, though perhaps sufficiently so for a baseball noob to find mirth in their brand of inept slapstick.

Yeah, Oakland might be a more entertaining game. On the other hand, if you want to see the equivalent of a 16-year old beating up a 2nd-grader on the playground and taking his lunch money away, the Astros might be the way to go.

xpost

Thanks Morbs - I can of course afford the entry fee, though it would be a delight to go with you, if/when you know yr plans - and it might free me up to go see a better team rather than these Astros losers (tho' quite often I find that seeing something done badly helps you better appreciate/understand the good)

Ward, here's a taste: http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/blog/eye-on-baseball/19938647/gif-the-astros-do-it-again

looks like they haven't got their hussle together yet, as lucy van pelt might say

Morbs,

What do you remember about the Mets trading Seaver to the Reds in '77? Was there more to it than just a contract dispute? Free agency was new and maybe the fans didn't know exactly what to make of it, so were Mets fans mostly on Seaver's side or did they turn on him for being "greedy"?

I think most fans were disgusted and turned off by ownership, and the attendance for the next 6 years showed it. Apparently Seaver had essentially reached an agreement with the Mets, but Daily News columnist Dick Young, who'd been waging a "greedy bastard" vendetta in print vs Seaver, wrote something about Nancy Seaver being jealous of Nolan Ryan's contract that Tom believed had been fed to Young by the front office. So Seaver called the Mets and said "Get me out of here."

I heard about that fake jealousy thing re: Ryan. The Mets more or less cratered from '77 until the Davey Johnson years, but they'd been mediocre for a few years (including '73 which was a bit of a fluke) and they were a losing team in '77. Some people must have turned on Seaver and blamed him for all the losing, and then blamed him again for asking for a new contract (whose value must have seemed astronomical at the time) in the midst of a losing season. Or was it more like "give him whatever he wants, he's Tom f'n Seaver!"

This feature in the Daily News from the 30th anniversary seems fair:

The seeds of the ugliest episode in Met history were planted on July 12, 1976, when a new Collective Bargaining Agreement was reached, following another bitter and protracted labor dispute in the wake of arbitrator Peter Seitz's strike-down of the reserve clause, and the dawn of free agency was ushered in. Four months earlier, the Mets had locked Seaver in with a three-year, $675,000 deal, making him baseball's highest paid pitcher - temporarily - with a base salary of $225,000....

But in the spring of '77, Seaver, who had been the Mets' player rep in the labor negotiations, was elated over the riches suddenly being reaped by others. He was upset, however, that the Mets, who had finished third, 15 games out of first place, in 1976, had made no effort to sign any of the new free agents. He made note that despite a glaring need for offense and a significant financial advantage over their competitors, Grant and general manager Joe McDonald had failed to make a bona fide offer for center fielder Gary Matthews, who looked like a perfect fit for the Mets but wound up signing a five-year, $1.2 million deal with the Atlanta Braves.

"How can you not even try?" Seaver had asked in an impromptu session with the writers at the Mets' spring training complex in St. Petersburg on Feb. 26, 1977.

As for his own contract, which had been finally settled after a lot of public acrimony with (board chairman M. Donald) Grant, Seaver said: "I was made an example of. I was pictured as the ingrate after nine years with the club. I was to be punished. And even now, a year later, I still resent the way they did it."

Thirty years later, Seaver still feels nothing but contempt for Grant, who died at 94 in November 1998.

"There are two things Grant said to me that I'll never forget, but illustrate the kind of person he was and the total 'plantation' mentality he had," Seaver says. "During the labor negotiations, he came up to me in the clubhouse once and said: 'What are you, some sort of Communist?' Another time, and I've never told anyone this, he said to me: 'Who do you think you are, joining the Greenwich Country Club?' It was incomprehensible to him if you didn't understand his feelings about your station in life."

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/mets/true-story-midnight-massacre-article-1.224970

bump!

still hoping to see the Yankees/Oakland game on Friday 3rd May - can I just buy a ticket on the day?

if you know you're going then get them in advance from http://www.stubhub.com/new-york-yankees-tickets/yankees-vs-athletics-5-3-2013-4168610/

/gabbneb

Thanks caek, will do that - any particular place I should sit?

to answer that would be truly gabbnebian, but the one time i went i sat in 420A

behind first base (413) is good too. Try not to sit in the first row of a section, you have assholes walking past for 3 hours.

morbs i did not like my visit to the yankees. didn't particularly like the mets either. are the any nyc minor league teams you recommend for drinking in the sunshine?

well, the Brooklyn Cyclones play in Coney Island if that's your tourist-friendly destination. Always plentiful tix for the Staten Island Yankees too, right by the ferry dock.

thanks morbs

upthread you wrote this, and am wondering how you are fixed now:

MoMA is horribly overcrowded at all times, but I could get you in cheap if I knew my going-out status for late April.

thanks morbs i will be there from june, let's go to some games

hello yankees fans, i am typing this from an internet cafe on 8th avenue - probably won't see the interweb again before i return to the UK tomorrow

anyway, i have bought a ticket for tonight's 'match'. section 413 was sold out, but i am in 412, row 13 seat 3. if any of you are in the same area, say hello to the john-peel-looking dude sat there.

go yankees!

no yankees!

Sorry I didn't see that last MoMA post, and you paid $20 if you saw the full museum... I wound up not going yesterday.

Yankees lineup is bizarre.

no prob morbs, in fact moma entrance is $25 bucks now, but i did get to see the avant-garde films for that, too, so didn't feel short-changed.

yankees experience was pretty bizarre - wasn't prepared for the guy playing 'i'm a yankee doodle dandy' on the organ intermittently throughout the game! - but i'm glad i went. yankees lost!

hey dr morbius, what's up?

also, this is awesome and i bet you would like it: http://scouts.baseballhall.org/

thx Z, i'd heard about it. Didn't realize it was that exhaustive tho.

Hey Dr Morbius (and everyone),

Fell in love with baseball last year so I am newbie.
What is the best stats/metric for judging a pitcher? Seems like win/loss isn't working.
Is WHIP reliable?

"How do I convince my occasional friend and would-be baseball nerd that Jeff Karsens is not a good pitcher and that these two starts are outliers in an otherwise unextraordinary career? He seems to think that the Yanquis got snookered in the Nady/Marte trade.

-- Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Sunday, August 10, 2008 4:16 PM (0 seconds ago) Bookmark Link"

everything is awful

xp http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defense_independent_pitching_statistics

VHS, I do not think there is *one* metric if that's what you're asking.

I look at WAR now and then, and BB9, SO9, HR9. Or just the raw stats and maybe do some rough adjustments in my head.

For any single year, a hits allowed rate can be too flukey, I think.

Do you have any idea what is wrong with Lincecum?
It's surely a tired subject but once again I'm late on the whole sports.

I don't watch him or read enough about the Giants to say definitively, but I believe it's been documented that he's lost a substantial amount of velocity -- and movement as well, presumably?

I guess the general consensus is that his mechanics weren't sustainable. Still hoping for a comeback.

tbf he ran into a buzz saw last night amirite

do you want me to pick one of these up for you while i'm in little rock?

http://distilleryimage4.ak.instagram.com/377107dc078211e39de722000a9e5e38_7.jpg

echhhhhh

(the one time I laid eyes on Billy Blythe was about ten years ago; he was on the field during batting practice at Shea Stadium)

favorite ylt song?

favorite fmu dj?

langella, hopkins, cusack: who played the best nixon? or, alternately, marry, fuck, kill?

franco or la beef?

favorite met?

favorite phillie (non-ironic)?

wth

Haven't seen Cusack's Nixon... Hopkins was alright, not as good as Jason Robards in Washington Behind Closed Doors or Aykroyd on SNL

obv my fave Met all-time is #41, Wright right now

Phillie I'll go with Ashburn or Tug

my fave YLT song is "Tom Courtenay"

tom scharpling overrated? 14 yrs x 48 broadcasts x 3 hours and all thats left is 6-7 hours of truly classic material. seems like Wurster did all the heavy lifting anyway.

Do you bang the desk with your fist before every post? I read all your posts this way now and it is a great deal of fun. Especially on non-political threads. I imagine pens and pencils and loose papers scattering, teacups clattering on their saucers.

i am like a duck... still above the surface

do you have a baseball question? have you been to a Nats game this year?

also, i am on 'scription roids; i'd break the desk in half.

tom scharpling overrated? 14 yrs x 48 broadcasts x 3 hours and all thats left is 6-7 hours of truly classic material. seems like Wurster did all the heavy lifting anyway.

― action bronson pinchot (sanskrit), Friday, February 21, 2014 8:54 AM (two years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm gonna go with yes, btw, usually didn't enjoy the Best Show all that much when I listened. Whereas I find Seven Second Delay fairly consistently amusing.

I've been getting deeper into film this year, but film writing on the internet seems really dire. Can you recommend anyone worth following/reading that actually talks about film/filmmaking and isn't just A) longform otaku nerd twaddle, B) identifying "tropes" masquerading as criticism or C) audits on how woke movies are

i'll get back to you, but w/ a historical bent maybe start here:

http://www.davidbordwell.net/blog/

shd've thrown in a baseball ref

word, def looking for something on new films too.

I just watched 'The Square' and looked at the wiki and saw this sentence "Vice.com reviewer R0d Bastanm3hr hailed it as a timely satire taking aim at contemporary art patrons.[46]" and am under a cloud of misery and anger that an observation so banal and surface-level was a professional writer's big takeaway from such an ambitious film

I don't gaf about Star Wars or superhero movies, fan service is ruining everything, TV is not better than movies, destroy all reboots, etc

bump

i like this guy

https://letterboxd.com/msicism/

and also the Effectively Wild baseball podcast.

Dear Dr. Morbius,
Did you know that many years ago Joyce Dewitt and Orson Bean were married, for a period of about 3 months?

probably saw each other in the green room a lot

sweet morbs, just one question - how do you do it?

it's all in the reflexes

ogmor, that doesn't sound like a baseball question

I am just a humble admirer, baseball is a mystery to me

can't believe it took me this long to ask you about playing guitar for gg allin

i mean ballin' from Maine to Mexico was right there

Dr. Morbs, please be honest: who is the biggest piece of ass in 2020 MLB?

i don't understand either question.

Gentlemen, we have an imposter here. What did you do with the real Dr. Morbius, "Dr. Morbius"?

Never heard of that guy, mook... I think his Wiki page is fairly new.

MY NAME IS

― Dr Morbius, Thursday, October 2, 2008 11:16 AM (twelve years ago)

thanks guys... it helped me remember him more clearly getting those words out

it might sound crazy if you just read his posts on this board or knew morbs the character, but we would all do good to live like bill. it's so easy to live a sedentary existence now (i'm not talking about covid), to feel like there's so much culture at your fingertips that you might as well be drowning in it. bill was from a different era, he never changed, and his rigidity and pride in being that way came thru loud and clear even if you barely knew him. but behind that was someone who valued tangibly experiencing the things that mattered to him, even when that thing was watching the sorry ass mets score 2 runs on a windy april night. (and btw he would never leave early.) i'm posting this as a reminder to myself as much as anything

― J0rdan S., Wednesday, October 21, 2020 11:59 PM

Love that he wouldn’t miss a pitch at the stadium but often posted about falling asleep at home before crucial plays in the sixth or whenever. (I can relate.)

Loved that sleeping through 1/3 of the game would not stop him from weighing in.

Bobby Bonilla day will never be the same. :(

Who was the good doctors favorite Met?

Wright for a while, I think.

seaver, far and away

i miss you morbius

every time I see a terrible take on "film twitter" I think, "god, I miss the guy but I'm glad Morbs never had to see this"

to be fair, he'd probably have dismissed most of the nonsense out of hand and gotten back to telling us about what he was never going to watch :)