Jeffrey and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat: MIAMI Marlins 2012

http://i.imgur.com/VyGci.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/HcW7n.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/VXpfi.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/18xoW.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/AO7OE.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/oVbhP.jpg

and on a more serious note, zips projections!

http://www.baseballthinkfactory.org/oracle/discussion/2012_zips_projections_miami_marlins

has hanley and reyes both projected for a 119 OPS+

sorta wonder if they'll be able to lure javy vazquez out of retirement if and when one of the SP gets hurt

kinda like the way they did the numbers on the back.. maybe these new uniforms will grow on me..

i noticed that too. just unconventional enough to catch my attention.

The aquarium converts to a dunk tank, right?

so pumped for this ridiculous team

also like how they installed an aquarium but you can only see it if you're a player or in the first row

i think it's mostly for if you're watching at home

how are they gonna greenscreen ads onto the front of it? (done in every current MLB park I'm aware of)

yeah, that's actually a good question

fish with logos on their sides?

Looking at the Buehrle photo I thought "yeah, i do like how the numbers are unconventional, one number has the drop shadow going down, the other going up". Then I realised they just stuck a nine on upside-down (mfw, etc.)

oh. i was hoping that was an intentional design-y thing :(

Tim Brown of Yahoo! Sports reports that the A's have signed Cuban outfielder Yoenis Cespedes.

Marlins may have dodged a bullet here, but is this comeuppance for Loria if nobody wants to sign with Miami whos worth a damn? (except reyes)

eh i think their interest in him was always overstated... their offer was 6/36, so it wasn't really that far off, it just seems like they didn't feel the need to make a competitive counter offer

and i'm not sure i'd want to be paying yoenis cespedes $9m a year either

@Yoenis_Cespedes
also my fans i will be honest with u on this ok i really like oakland a jerseys and shoes they are very style and miami was just ok really

loooooooool

the perfect complement to the "pig roasting is the new OBP" joke

@Yoenis_Cespedes
james t bondman was my first fan to greet me on twitter now he act like i am a loser and nobody cause i dont play for marlin wow whatever

never a dull day at the circus

Hanley Ramirez felt strongly enough about a negative write-up in the Dominican newspaper “Hoy” to fire off a response on Twitter.

Franklin Mirabal in what appears to be an opinion piece writes that Ramirez’s friendship with Jose Reyes inevitably will be damaged. Ramirez is moving to third base to accommodate Reyes, who the Marlins signed to a $106 million contract. Mirabal goes on to say the signing was a way for the Marlins front office to frustrate and cast down Ramirez.

In Mirabal’s estimation, it’s a show of disrespect and the Marlins ultimately will jettison Ramirez, who he says has not matured sufficiently to take on the face of the franchise role the Marlins were counting on when they gave him a $70 million deal. Mirabal criticizes Ramirez for not taking on a leadership role.

Ramirez’s response via Twitter (translated from Spanish): ”Folks, via this medium I want to let everyone know that what came out in the newspaper Hoy about me, the team and Guillen is a lie.”

In a follow up tweet, Ramirez wrote: “And now what are you going to talk about if the whole world knows I’m going to play third base with the Marlins.”

And yet another: “Trying to soil my image with lies. Third base with the Marlins forever baby”

Third base with the Marlins forever baby
Third base with the Marlins forever baby
Third base with the Marlins forever baby
Third base with the Marlins forever baby
Third base with the Marlins forever baby
Third base with the Marlins forever baby
Third base with the Marlins forever baby
Third base with the Marlins forever baby
Third base with the Marlins forever baby
Third base with the Marlins forever baby
Third base with the Marlins forever baby
Third base with the Marlins forever baby
Third base with the Marlins forever baby
Third base with the Marlins forever baby
Third base with the Marlins forever baby
Third base with the Marlins forever baby
Third base with the Marlins forever baby

Hanley Ramirez
@HanleyRamirez
SS for the Florida Marlins

let's end on a positive note

http://i.imgur.com/D5f5P.jpg

hey, he's not hurt yet

lol didnt notice ozzie in the background there

hey, he's not hurt yet

― Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Friday, February 17, 2012 2:31 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

he's gonna drive around the bases on that golf cart this year

http://yfrog.com/nme1tj

what the hell http://blogs.palmbeachpost.com/marlins/2012/02/29/miami-marlins-slugger-will-go-by-a-new-name-giancarlo-stanton/#more-10706

miami marlins 2012: name changes for all

ha ha this team is so fucked up in a great way

Logan Morrison's reaction?

Giancarlo StanTONE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urCG4A4fa6k
FLAMINGOS ARE A GO? Yes, they look..very nice.

i'll be seeing a game in the stadium on tuesday, really hope to see that thing in action

reyes took nolasco deep today... the more things change, the more they stay the same

lol

http://mlb.sbnation.com/2012/3/5/2846122/marlins-home-run-structure-distraction-dismantled?tw_p=twt

everything about this team is amazing/hilarious

1. Construct a large curtain.

2. Place the large curtain in front of the psychedelic home-run sculpture.

3. Raise the curtain whenever a home run is hit.

4. Drop the curtain prior to the resumption of play.

in Fla, that's harder than designing a ballot

how hard would it be to just move it over to the left a few meters?

i guess pretty hard, now that i think about my post, since no one there is going to have any clue what a "meter" is.

i really have to imagine they'd have figured all this out before they built it, but who knows

yaaaa, this is Florida remember.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/mlb-big-league-stew/marlins-president-david-samson-says-miami-residents-not-194316181.html;_ylt=AglsEkGQS5sBRpejeOQn1M8RvLYF

seriously fuck this guy

this guy is pretty unfuckingbelievable

fab PR sense

to say all that stuff in public shows such a pretty extreme mixture of hubris and incompetence

i was at the stadium last night -- parking is an insane nightmare, but the park is very nice and the home run feature is not all that garish, tho it wasn't in motion

xpost dude keeps it up, he'll be that one mob boss character in Casino that flaps his gums too much and brings the entire family (organization) down

yeah feel like this might actually be a big deal

how much do they charge for parking?

well it was only $5 last night but it was an exhibition game

ahh. mostly curious cuz i've grown tired of paying $25 to park in a dirt lot at Dolphins games lol

would guess the new baseball stadium will prolly be about as pricey when the season starts? idk

yeah probably -- just parking all those cars in garages is a nightmare

j0rd out of curiosity -- do the college players get to hit with aluminum bats?

umm weirdly, univ of miami hit with aluminum last night but the marlins told floridan int'l tonight that they had to use wood

idk i guess they felt that the metal bats were too dangerous? not that i really blame them

hanley looked good last night, made a few really nice plays at third... his accuracy was perfect and his reads were good

he also hit a homer

Ramirez is shown, Sharpie and Louisville Slugger in hand, scrawling the Twitter handles of his detractors onto the barrel — presumably those who sniped at him during the disappointing, injury-plagued 2011 season or said he behaved petulantly when he was slow to embrace the position switch.

"The response,'' the voice says again, "is on its way.''

Then Ramirez takes the inky bat and smashes a baseball out of sight.

http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/hanley-ramirez-miami-marlins-looks-ready-for-return-from-injury-switch-to-third-base-031412

suuuuuuuuuuuuure

http://i.imgur.com/otlB0.gif

oh that's dark

coarsening of the culture has taken its toll on Ass.

also:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hw2HtRQ2U8Y

sorry I lold

black, yellow, orange and blue!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mItGNNPclvE

People who live on those banned blocks will have to find somewhere else to park on the 81 times a year — mostly night games — when the Marlins play at home.

Francisco Ferra Rosa, a day laborer who lives in 1500 block of Northwest Third Street, is one of those who will have to relocate his car on game nights.

Already, he said, he has gotten two tickets for parking in front of his home. One was for $28 and he couldn’t pay it. Now, with late fees, it’s $47. He met with a Miami Parking Authority representative before Thursday’s presentation to plead his case.

“I make $8 per hour,” he said. “I can’t afford this.”

http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/03/15/2695445/in-a-switch-miami-marlins-to-sell.html#storylink=cpy

yeah apparently the marlins have offered these ppl tix, as if that makes up for it

hmm... the interesting thing is that there are a lot of ppl with houses who will make decent money selling their driveways on gamedays

a good portion of my childhood was spent riding around little havana while adults looked for a quality driveway to park in ("ten dollar, no block!" "no block??" "no block!")

The tickets are nosebleed seats with free (!) aquarium pooper-scoopers that must be used in the stadium between innings.

^__________________________________^

http://t.co/vm85jqqd

^__________________________________^

the ben mcgrath nyer article is p hilarious re: ozzie

@JoeStrauss
Marlins Park: 386' to LCF, 418' to center, 392' to RCF. Fence 12' or higher everywhere. Puma/Berkman: "Are you kidding me?"

over/under for joey kings' triples this season?

it's big but when the roof's closed it will play smaller imo

RF is seriously short

GIANCARLO Stanton enjoying his escort.

ladies and gentlemen, josé feliciano

Ali is going to die with Loria by his side, isn't he?

better turn that Red Grooms thing on whenever they get a hit, lol

http://i.imgur.com/3dZ28.png

http://i.imgur.com/GQYyU.png

omar infante: tied for the NL lead in homers

the new yorker article about the marlins is v. good

also it taught me what that gesture ^^^^ means

all that's missing, tbh, is tony plush

oh fuck, what does it mean -- i've been fascinated

By early March, Bonifacio's ritual of forming a sideways "V" over his eye and shouting "Lo viste?" ("Did you see that?") had been merchandised, with a shipment of T-shirts . . .

MUST GET SHIRT

also thank you mookie

http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/04/10/ozzie-guillen-suspended-for-five-games/

really, for political speech? that is some goddamn fucking bullshit.

the new yorker article about the marlins is v. good

I'm guessing Roger Angell has retired?

didn't Richard Nixon have a lifetime pass to MLB parks after his pardon/plea bargain? Killed more ppl than Fidel.

Ozzie should stick to praising democratically-elected leaders who ship their people elsewhere to kill and be killed. That would be OK.

xposts

maybe a Met or Yankee could call Cardinal Dolan an asshole

Can't wait until my mother-in-law brings this up next weekend, and bashes Guillen, just after she expresses sympathy for George Zimmerman.

really, for political speech? that is some goddamn fucking bullshit.

OTM, this is fucked up.

they more or less have no choice tho... what he said wasn't too far off of if an israeli basketball league coach said "i love hitler!"

in a just world everyone would realize that it was a stupid statement w/ no meaning and move on but ozzie has to eat the bullet on this one, there's really no other choice

yeah considering the huge Cuban population in Miami that risked their lives to flee Castro's rule, they kinda had to do something

what's the point of hiring ozzie if you're not going to let him say dumb shit

^^^^

It's like the Marlins are trying to send a message -- it's an "outbursts from management won't be tolerated in the new era" thing. But yeah, didn't they have any idea who they were hiring??

there's quite a bit of a difference between "ozzie being ozzie" and the manager of a miami sports team literally saying the words "i love castro"

i thought there was a chance that he was going to resign

five games out of 162 is a pretty mild suspension anyway

will be looking for angry season-package-holder tix on StubHub if I make it down this year

heh

Not only did they "hire" Ozzie they TRADED for him...

what up w logan morrison's weird eye

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkd9w8gQmSA&feature=related

Ozzie Guillen. Watergate. The Bay of Pigs. When Guillen returns to baseball Tuesday night in Miami, scandals will intersect in a way few outsiders can fathom.

law&order.wav

you can't leave Watergate dangling like that -- is Gordon Liddy throwing out the first ball?

to find out, you must go . . . outside the lines

this is one of the hardest hit homers i've ever seen

http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/gameday/index.jsp?gid=2012_04_17_chnmlb_miamlb_1&mode=recap_home&c_id=mia#gid=2012_04_17_chnmlb_miamlb_1&mode=video

Cishek seems uncomfortable with throwing overhand/to first base -- caught ground-ball come-backer, acted like he had the hitter in a rundown.

Like how the ED 209 in Robocop was a sophisticated, heavily-armed robot but could not handle stairs.

Cishek seems uncomfortable with throwing overhand/to first base -- caught ground-ball come-backer, acted like he had the hitter in a rundown.

― Andy K, Friday, April 20, 2012 9:19 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

there was an article in a local paper last week about this. everyone is very conscious of it, but isn't sure how to fix it. i think the consensus was that some sidearmers just never completely pick up fielding the position because of their unease throwing overhand.

lomo leads nyc bus tour

not sure I remember 4 straight BB by 4 diff pitchers

esp w/ how large the umps k zone had been this whole game so far

well, I had Spanish-lang SNY on bootsite but now am stuck w/ GameDay audio

not sure I remember 4 straight BB by 4 diff pitchers

― World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, April 24, 2012 9:25 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

esp w/ how large the umps k zone had been this whole game so far

― johnny crunch, Tuesday, April 24, 2012 9:27 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark

yes to both of these things

4 more walks, 4 more walks!

wish J0rd and I were at this game

this just means the next mia/ny series or 1 later in the season will f/ absurdity by only nym to make up for this

so heath bell has kinda exploded lately

47 pitch blown save

i've realized over the last three games that any and all pain caused by the marlins gets undercut considerably knowing that jeffery loria and david samson's money and reputation go further and further down the drain -- it's really a nice insurance plan

that said, heath bell: throw a fucking strike

the turner AB was most interesting... i was listening on the radio but dude was pounding the strike zone but couldn't get turner to swing and miss. very bad sign.

like, okay, the bell contract was obviously bad from the jump. but this is unimaginable.

thank god for the angels.

marlins scored in the 7th inning tonight... first run in 19 innings

buehrlol

- H. Bell relieved R. Webb
- J. Upton singled to shallow center
- J. Upton stole second
- P. Goldschmidt walked
- C. Ransom hit by pitch, J. Upton to third, P. Goldschmidt to second

won't you stay tuned?

Bell is gonna be the Doug Sisk of Marlin lore

everything about this guy sucks right now, his xFIP is pretty awful but he's getting a lot of bad luck as well

Giancarlo just about drilled a hole in the AT&T wall.

heath bell is karma for me having mercilessly mocked brad lidge for years

The sidewinder kid looks pretty sweet though

yeah he could be pretty good

glad I stayed up for the Heath Magic Hour

that guy is unbelievable

http://l.yimg.com/iu/api/res/1.2/caH3DtSsplGgMo.J8VeWKQ--/YXBwaWQ9eXZpZGVvO2NoPTg2MDtjcj0xO2N3PTY1NztkeD0yO2R5PTE7Zmk9dWxjcm9wO2g9ODU7cT0xMDA7dz02NQ--/http://l.yimg.com/j/assets/i/us/sp/v/mlb/players_l/20120501/7418.jpg

http://www.downtownpet.com/blog/uploaded_images/blue.cat.smiling-750875.jpg

on into the night

relief?

http://mlb.sbnation.com/2012/5/5/3001942/heath-bell-out-as-marlins-closer

for me, at least

how did i miss that this http://miami.marlins.mlb.com/mia/ballpark/clevelander.jsp existed? AND that they had a bobble head museum?

stanton hits the ball so mf hard

it's the endlessly entertaining Heath Bell

sonned with a batted ball by Turner this time!

#Belltdown

keithlaw ‏ @keithlaw
Heath Bell has now given up 15 runs in 2012. He gave up 17 runs in the entire 2010 season.

crushed walk off grand slam by giancarlo

sonned indeed

stanton absolutely destroyed that ball

i think his homer total vs the mets is creeping up to jason bay's career total as a met

Bonifacio to DL w/ sprained thumb

i'm very sad

the key to heath bell success: give him a four run lead

The grand slam Stanton just hit off Moyer...the ball appeared to be going up, still, just shy of the wall.

that ball hit halfway up the scoreboard along the back wall aka he basically hit it out of the stadium

i sorta feel bad for moyer... like that was the most obvious thing that could've happened, and he almost avoided it. but then it happened. in a big way.

did you guys read this? p cool

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/04/09/120409fa_fact_mcgrath

good headline

they're now doing breathless on-the-scene reports from under the scoreboard like the ball exploded in mid air and started raining golds

http://mlb.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=21638519&c_id=mia&partnerId=aw-5703909320479310898-1031

wow he creamed that. moyer's face is like :{

Stanton's GS off Moyer was fucking epic. Ancient Moyer battles him to 3-2 and then gives up a home run that BREAKS THE SCOREBOARD? It's like something out of a movie.

clarkspencer ‏@clarkspencer
Ozzie Guillen on fabled ballparks: Wrigley is a "dump" and Fenway is a "s---hole." #marlins

http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5dho1rCU11qk9es5o1_500.jpg

ricky: good job, good effort

IP	H	R	ER	BB	SO	HR	PC-ST
R Nolasco	       3.1	9	9	9	1	1	1	64-38

so, uh, carlos lee (?!)

heath bell btw has managed to figure out new and improved ways to blow leads

want someone to turn a four-run lead/non-save opp into an extra inning loss? he's your man.

want someone to follow that up by blowing a seven run comeback by giving up a two-run walk off homer to aramis ramirez? he's your man.

what a weird trade. but hey, at least you got rid of matt dominguez

it's a pretty sensible trade. the marlins have no hitting, lee is the best hitter available at the moment, and both the guys they traded will never do much

Lee vetoed the trade with LA because he didn't want to take a tax hit. Lol thanks Carlos!

showtime franchise show is amazing

the marlins wives lost 14-2 to the rays wives fyi

lol & this btw

http://30fps.mocksession.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/2012-July-11-22-37-42.jpg

heath bell came across like a fuckin jag off imo

fuck him

fire sale? i thot only after World Series

http://mlb.sbnation.com/2012/7/19/3168401/miami-marlins-trade-rumors-deadline-selling

carlos z: six walks, two hit batsmen in 3 1/3

#Z

http://qflf.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/400px-broom_icon.png

http://deadspin.com/5898392/jeffrey-loria-is-spectacularly-unlikable
http://sports.yahoo.com/news/marlins-jeffrey-loria-david-samson-fire-sale-trade-hanley-ramirez-new-stadium-.html

jeffery loria IS spectacularly unlikeable

that passan piece is stupid tho

Well the first two parts of the Passan title (they did con Miami and line their pockets) are correct. The last part is probably not.

well yeah, that part is certainly true

so stanton became the first player in mlb history to hit a homer in his first six games at a stadium -- he has 6 homers in 6 career games at coors

tonight in the first inning he hit a ball into the concourse http://mlb.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=24010107&c_id=mlb

here's all 5 homers dating back to last year #porn

http://mlb.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=23997285&c_id=mlb

this guy is crazy http://mlb.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=24079481&c_id=mlb&topic_id=vtp_star_of_the_game

The look on Gibson's face

"I..."

"i... let joe saunders pitch to ginacarlo stanton"

giancarlo = beast mode

yeah the guy has been on another level for the past few weeks

for some reason pitchers seem intent on throwing him pitches right down the middle, not sure why

Pretty impressive:

http://mlb.si.com/2012/08/27/giancarlo-stanton-marlins-home-runs-pace/?sct=mlb_t11_a0

Except for Conigliaro and Horner, Powell's 339 is the lowest career total on that list. Conigliaro was obviously a special case; can't remember why Horner was out of the game so early.

aged like a fat athlete, I think

Shoulder injury, following a year in Japan (which seems to have been prompted by the collusion then going on):

http://bapple2286.wordpress.com/2008/12/28/what-ever-happened-to-bob-horner/

http://www.braves400.org/photos/alltime_horner.jpg

https://qflf.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/400px-broom_icon.png

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.460154!/img/httpImage/image.jpg

Jeff Passan ‏@JeffPassan
Congratulations, Twitter. Jose Reyes is trending nationally for committing the 500,000th error in baseball history.

"the veterans have crapped all over themselves"

http://mlb.sbnation.com/2012/9/20/3364884/miami-marlins-larry-beinfest-michael-hill-fired

inevitable. RIP beinfest & hill, you willingly worked for jeffery loria and david samson.

Someone is going to get a really good GM imo

yeah those guys are pretty okay, they'll be nice pick ups and i'm glad for them to be escaping loria & samson

http://espn.go.com/mlb/story/_/id/8420672/miami-marlins-heath-bell-says-hard-respect-manager-ozzie-guillen

maybe if you didn't give up 2 runs every outing while being paid $9 million, they'd have a better idea of your "role"

a roll with bologna in the middle

heath traded to d backs

http://sweetestdrip.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/obamabased.jpg

Ha. New climate to blame.

Over the last year (new stadium, new players, new manager, failure of all three on every level, fire sale only one year into the "new regime") has Loria cinched the title of "worst post-WWII baseball owner"?

Dude... marge schott.

what a moran to trade Heath Bell, now he'll never get A-Rod.

Yeah you really have to worked hard to out Schott Marge. I don't think Loria has it in him frankly.