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ROLLING THINGS THAT ILX AS A WHOLE MISTAKENLY BELIEVES TO BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN MOLLIFYING LINGBERT

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1. Presidential Primaries

― John Justen, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:13 (eighteen years ago)

2. Chicago (the city, not the important scientific determination of which of their 31 albums named "CHICAGO" is the best)

― John Justen, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:14 (eighteen years ago)

3. What white people like (note: not to be confused with ILM as a whole)

― John Justen, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:15 (eighteen years ago)

4. Lindsey Lohans legal status for the purposes of sexing

― John Justen, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:16 (eighteen years ago)

mollifying lingbert is a privilege, not an obligation.

― estela, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:26 (eighteen years ago)

this is true

― John Justen, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:30 (eighteen years ago)

i felt we should observe the foibles of the unwashed masses from atop our lofty position in internet society

― John Justen, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:31 (eighteen years ago)

this is v true.

sorry if i sounded a bit lecture-ish but you would like my intentions, i was aiming for ultimate mollification.

― estela, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:35 (eighteen years ago)

!

― jergïns, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:37 (eighteen years ago)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ultimate_Nullifier

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:38 (eighteen years ago)

I bet the Ultimate Mollifier would be more effective in most situations but hey, Galactus, you know

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:38 (eighteen years ago)

fifteen levels of ultimate mollification

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:42 (eighteen years ago)

31 flavors of ultimate mollification

― John Justen, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:43 (eighteen years ago)

is this the part of the thread where hi dere makes a sperm joke?

― jergïns, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:46 (eighteen years ago)

what part of what thread is not that part of all threads?

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:50 (eighteen years ago)

i was half hoping someone would say, 'good gollification, miss mollification,' but no one did.

― estela, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:51 (eighteen years ago)

i am glad you said it, estela. i believe you have now accomplished what you term "ultimate mollification." if that doesn't mollify lindberg, then he is unmollifyable.

― lxy, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:54 (eighteen years ago)

it is a terrible thought that lingbert could be some kind of bottomless pit, i won't believe it, not yet.

― estela, Thursday, 21 February 2008 23:58 (eighteen years ago)

is it "unmollifiable," "inmollifiable," or "non-mollifiable?"

― El Tomboto, Friday, 22 February 2008 00:05 (eighteen years ago)

also, I have found a picture which is undoubtedly lingbert:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c6/Themagusoriginal.png

― El Tomboto, Friday, 22 February 2008 00:05 (eighteen years ago)

that is considerably less wistful than my image of lingbert.

― estela, Friday, 22 February 2008 00:22 (eighteen years ago)

presumably we differ greatly on the issue of his mollificability

― El Tomboto, Friday, 22 February 2008 00:25 (eighteen years ago)

i am not usually the one with the hopeful vision.

― estela, Friday, 22 February 2008 00:30 (eighteen years ago)

what, like this?
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/ec/Quasar_%28comics%29.jpg/250px-Quasar_%28comics%29.jpg

― El Tomboto, Friday, 22 February 2008 00:43 (eighteen years ago)

immollifiable, perhaps? ILX spellchecker doesn't like any of them.

of course nor does ILX spellchecker like ILX or spellchecker.

― lxy, Friday, 22 February 2008 00:47 (eighteen years ago)

oh my god i hope ligbernt is lurking to see these pictures!

― lxy, Friday, 22 February 2008 00:48 (eighteen years ago)

yes.

― estela, Friday, 22 February 2008 01:01 (eighteen years ago)

i hope he isn't sitting glumly in class, his star lined cape folded up neatly and stowed in his backpack.

― estela, Friday, 22 February 2008 01:27 (eighteen years ago)

SO SAD.

― lxy, Friday, 22 February 2008 01:32 (eighteen years ago)

i can't bear it.

― estela, Friday, 22 February 2008 01:34 (eighteen years ago)

girls getting emotional over emotionless boys

― jergïns, Friday, 22 February 2008 01:50 (eighteen years ago)

i wish i had recorded lingbert's "I have never been in a fight, I have never been angry" speech before i punched him

― jergïns, Friday, 22 February 2008 01:51 (eighteen years ago)

i would like to hear a detailed account of this exciting event.

― estela, Friday, 22 February 2008 01:55 (eighteen years ago)

jergins, this has nothing to do with the real lingbret. it's the star-lined cape that is so wrenching.

― lxy, Friday, 22 February 2008 02:05 (eighteen years ago)

ilxor.com is the 3rd result when you google lingbert!

― El Tomboto, Friday, 22 February 2008 02:14 (eighteen years ago)

i cannot take credit for that

― lxy, Friday, 22 February 2008 02:20 (eighteen years ago)

it is the first result when you google el tomboto!

then a bit later comes this:

Did you mean to search for: el tomato

― estela, Friday, 22 February 2008 02:29 (eighteen years ago)

why yes i did

― jergïns, Friday, 22 February 2008 03:47 (eighteen years ago)

5. Mongols and sheephaxxors (this slight is forgiveable as the best of you have joined our ranks)

― John Justen, Sunday, 24 February 2008 00:52 (eighteen years ago)

wait do i lose my sheephaxxor/fuxxor status when i move to the US?

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 00:56 (eighteen years ago)

you might never fuck another sheep :(

― jergïns, Sunday, 24 February 2008 04:59 (eighteen years ago)

it'll be hard, but i think i can live with that

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 09:24 (eighteen years ago)

a resolute character is but one of your many qualities

― jergïns, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:19 (eighteen years ago)

i sound like a fortune cookie

― jergïns, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:24 (eighteen years ago)

you are a fortune, cookie

― lxy, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:32 (eighteen years ago)

what are you guys doing up? isn't it the wee hours of sunday morning in seattle?

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:33 (eighteen years ago)

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

― jergïns, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:35 (eighteen years ago)

i love that you know west coast time

― jergïns, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:35 (eighteen years ago)

!!

i'll pick up where you left off and have fun for you: mountain goats first, then late night dancing with cobblestone jazz

-- jergïns, Saturday, February 23, 2008 9:01 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

― jergïns, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:37 (eighteen years ago)

hey, we know how to kick it

feels like i'm just getting started

― lxy, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:38 (eighteen years ago)

i'm totally down with west coast time. i need to go out and get drunk sometime soon - the last time was early october. so sad ;_;

i want to get drunk with seattle peepz!

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:40 (eighteen years ago)

i was watching the last episode of deadwood, first season, and the fucking dvd broke ;_;

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:41 (eighteen years ago)

LOL at american customers tonight whispering to each other "are we supposed to tip? how much is it if we do? do you know if we're supposed? i don't know if we're supposed to!"

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:42 (eighteen years ago)

YES ruby, you must! seattle wants to get drunk with you too.

― lxy, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:43 (eighteen years ago)

("should we we don't know")

― lxy, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:43 (eighteen years ago)

jordan loves seattle, his favourite outdoors company is there (bastards wouldn't hire him, tho). perhaps we shall fly up for a drunken weekend!

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:44 (eighteen years ago)

you should you shall you will

― lxy, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:54 (eighteen years ago)

if you came here you could drink with lingbert. at that point the guy would have to be mollified

― jergïns, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:54 (eighteen years ago)

you have a place to stay

it has a good liquor cupboard

― lxy, Sunday, 24 February 2008 10:55 (eighteen years ago)

ok it's a deal, but can you guys talk jaq into cooking for me?? her posts about food/cooking always make me salivate. that lady has SKILLZ

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 11:02 (eighteen years ago)

i've never had american wine. can we drink seattle wine?

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 11:03 (eighteen years ago)

EASY EASY EASY EASY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please come now

― lxy, Sunday, 24 February 2008 11:07 (eighteen years ago)

and yes, jaq's cooking is worth travelling for

― lxy, Sunday, 24 February 2008 11:07 (eighteen years ago)

awww man i wanna go there NOW NOW NOW!

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 11:08 (eighteen years ago)

some people just arrived we are drinking jergins is mixing you should (all) be here

― lxy, Sunday, 24 February 2008 11:10 (eighteen years ago)

endless endless

― lxy, Sunday, 24 February 2008 11:10 (eighteen years ago)

i'm jealous! report back tomorrow if your hangover is not too severe ^_^

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 11:15 (eighteen years ago)

we don't get hungover

― jergïns, Sunday, 24 February 2008 11:27 (eighteen years ago)

no i do sometimes a touch but lxy never

― jergïns, Sunday, 24 February 2008 11:27 (eighteen years ago)

hangover? no.

― lxy, Sunday, 24 February 2008 11:39 (eighteen years ago)

plz

― jergïns, Sunday, 24 February 2008 11:52 (eighteen years ago)

plz

― lxy, Sunday, 24 February 2008 11:55 (eighteen years ago)

this is the problem with not having been drunken in a long time: when i do finally get round to it, my tolerance will be so low i will surely have the mother of all hangovers.

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 12:05 (eighteen years ago)

ok i'm going to sleep now, but i <3 <3 <3 <3 you, seattle ITR-ers!

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 12:09 (eighteen years ago)

what up

― jergïns, Sunday, 24 February 2008 13:37 (eighteen years ago)

http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w215/RYANROSSismysexilovr/mollie.jpg

― jergïns, Sunday, 24 February 2008 13:41 (eighteen years ago)

I'm jealous in advance of your future Seattle plans!

― Sara R-C, Sunday, 24 February 2008 15:37 (eighteen years ago)

You can be jealous of mine too.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 24 February 2008 18:30 (eighteen years ago)

Ned, don't make me cry.

― Sara R-C, Sunday, 24 February 2008 18:44 (eighteen years ago)

let's all go to seattle

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 22:16 (eighteen years ago)

What is awesome in Seattle?

― W4LTER, Sunday, 24 February 2008 22:19 (eighteen years ago)

I would so do this if I had time and money and if the kids were more independent.

― Sara R-C, Sunday, 24 February 2008 22:20 (eighteen years ago)

[also: preemptive mistaken ilx belief thing -- oscars thread]

― W4LTER, Sunday, 24 February 2008 22:20 (eighteen years ago)

xpost IF IF IF IF IF

There are cool people in Seattle; it is warmer than where I am; my husband's best friend is also in Seattle for the year

― Sara R-C, Sunday, 24 February 2008 22:21 (eighteen years ago)

Oh yeah the Oscars are tonight. I forgot!

― Sara R-C, Sunday, 24 February 2008 22:21 (eighteen years ago)

i want to go to seattle, it is not out of the question.

― estela, Sunday, 24 February 2008 22:51 (eighteen years ago)

OMG w$lter! i can't believe you even have to ASK what is awesome in seattle!! jergins and lxy and culinary-wizard-jaq and the unmollifiable lingbert (who is still a mystery to me)!! what more does seattle need to make it awesome?!?!

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 22:54 (eighteen years ago)

No, no, no. I know there are awesome peoples there. And I assume there is much other awesomeness -- I just want to know what that awesomeness is.

― W4LTER, Sunday, 24 February 2008 22:55 (eighteen years ago)

there's like a big needle or something

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 22:56 (eighteen years ago)

and grunge music

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 22:57 (eighteen years ago)

and grey's anatomy

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 22:57 (eighteen years ago)

The weather is rather temperate I hear.

― Sara R-C, Sunday, 24 February 2008 23:08 (eighteen years ago)

I like the big needle, I don't know if i like "grunge" or "grey's" "anatomy" tho.

― W4LTER, Sunday, 24 February 2008 23:10 (eighteen years ago)

it is just like wellington weather! i think i would feel right at home there.

― Rubyredd, Sunday, 24 February 2008 23:10 (eighteen years ago)

I would just be happy if my toes thawed out. MY STANDARDS ARE LOW

― Sara R-C, Sunday, 24 February 2008 23:11 (eighteen years ago)

I have never seen "Grey's Anatomy," and the notion of grunge kind of leaves me unmoved. PEOPLE, FOOD, WINE, WEATHER

― Sara R-C, Sunday, 24 February 2008 23:12 (eighteen years ago)

Space Needle might be okay, too

― Sara R-C, Sunday, 24 February 2008 23:12 (eighteen years ago)

Also, apparently there was going to be summer snow in Tasmania.

― W4LTER, Sunday, 24 February 2008 23:13 (eighteen years ago)

Probably didn't happen tho, 'they' were saying it was a 'possibility'.

― W4LTER, Sunday, 24 February 2008 23:14 (eighteen years ago)

Also, no one actually lives in Tasmania.

― W4LTER, Monday, 25 February 2008 00:11 (eighteen years ago)

Hey Rubyredd, lxy pointed me to yr kind words - get to Seattle grrl and I will cook 4 U!!

― Jaq, Monday, 25 February 2008 00:56 (eighteen years ago)

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!! you just made my day, jaq <3

― Rubyredd, Monday, 25 February 2008 01:00 (eighteen years ago)

> no one actually lives in Tasmania.

errol flynn to thread

― jergïns, Monday, 25 February 2008 01:58 (eighteen years ago)

it would be cool if he posted here

― jergïns, Monday, 25 February 2008 01:58 (eighteen years ago)

MOVIN ON UP

― John Justen, Monday, 25 February 2008 03:56 (eighteen years ago)

john justen, you are the ozymandias of itr.

― estela, Monday, 25 February 2008 04:12 (eighteen years ago)

"Look on (his) works, ye mighty, and despair?"

― Sara R-C, Monday, 25 February 2008 04:40 (eighteen years ago)

SO IRRITATING THAT I COULDN'T USE BRACKETS INSTEAD OF PARENTHESES THERE

― Sara R-C, Monday, 25 February 2008 04:40 (eighteen years ago)

what estela is saying is that if you take john justen and play him backwards you can hear andrew eldritch singing.

― Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 25 February 2008 10:34 (eighteen years ago)

I'd like to know how she found that out. Playing John backwards is one of the harder things in life to do.

― Sara R-C, Monday, 25 February 2008 14:32 (eighteen years ago)

it makes me happy to see curltis in the ITR

i want to make jokes about playing john, but i don't know him well enough

(i don't mean for that to sound dirty and i apologize if it does)

― lxy, Monday, 25 February 2008 16:45 (eighteen years ago)

I'd go ahead and make the jokes; he probably won't mind.

Just don't expect to get anything more than an odd wheezing sound out of him.

― Sara R-C, Monday, 25 February 2008 17:10 (eighteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

wheeeeeeeeeeze

― John Justen, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 01:36 (eighteen years ago)

also, always the bridesmaid never the primaries thread today

― John Justen, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 01:36 (eighteen years ago)

Don't mind him; he always gets grumpy wearing bridesmaids' dresses.

― Sara R-C, Tuesday, 18 March 2008 04:18 (eighteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

0. NOTHING, in case you hadn't noticed

― lxy, Friday, 4 April 2008 19:03 (eighteen years ago)

NADA

― John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 19:29 (eighteen years ago)

ZIP

― John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 19:29 (eighteen years ago)

77. 77

― The Reverend, Friday, 4 April 2008 19:40 (eighteen years ago)

j/k

77 is more important than mollifying Lingber,

― The Reverend, Friday, 4 April 2008 19:40 (eighteen years ago)

oh fuck no

― jergïns, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:09 (eighteen years ago)

1 thread > entire board

― lxy, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:14 (eighteen years ago)

this is really a battle of man vs. machine. a man (among men) lingbert or the secretboardmachine. don't let technology deceive you. think of humanity.

― jergïns, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:45 (eighteen years ago)

The Reverend - 3 day ban

― John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:46 (eighteen years ago)

none more deserved, bootches

― jergïns, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:47 (eighteen years ago)

lol bootches

― lxy, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:48 (eighteen years ago)

Let me tell you, I have witnessed lingbert in an unmollified state, and while my wounds still haven't recovered, it was nowhere near so fearsome as the almighty power of 77.

― The Reverend, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:54 (eighteen years ago)

awesome power = dom and forks

― jergïns, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:57 (eighteen years ago)

i will let u draw ur own conclusions

― jergïns, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:57 (eighteen years ago)

Well, yeah. 77 is getting weaker, I'll give you that. T-minus three days before it is no match for unmollified lingbert.

― The Reverend, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:58 (eighteen years ago)

77 was so much more powerful when it was only me and Crutis and Deej and Grady and Max and Hoos.

― The Reverend, Friday, 4 April 2008 20:59 (eighteen years ago)

somebody invite deej here so i can ban him

― John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:03 (eighteen years ago)

the borad is lovely. the thread is lovely.

why can't we all etc. etc.

― lxy, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:08 (eighteen years ago)

i joke i love everybody. except for people who suck, and austrians.

― John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:11 (eighteen years ago)

Liar, you totally love Austrians.

― HI DERE, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:45 (eighteen years ago)

In fact, you want to have a million little Austrian babies.

― HI DERE, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:45 (eighteen years ago)

Like your children would ever be that blonde or clean-shaven!

― HI DERE, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:53 (eighteen years ago)

There would have to be some serious recessive gene action going on there with the white blonde hair, but otherwise OTM

ha ha xpost

― Sara R-C, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:53 (eighteen years ago)

duh, you can tell by the white hair and glowing eyes that they are clearly austrian children as they appear before being turned into people

― John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:54 (eighteen years ago)

Okay, so magical Austrian genes are, like, super-dominant.

― Sara R-C, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:56 (eighteen years ago)

WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING YOU IN THAT FANCY NURSING TECHNICAL ACADEMY IF NOT THAT

― John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:57 (eighteen years ago)

i guess they dont think that nurses have to know BASIC SCIENCE

― John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:58 (eighteen years ago)

HOW TO GIVE INJECTIONS, ACTUALLY, SO BACK OFF

― Sara R-C, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:58 (eighteen years ago)

phenotype, genotype, austriotype

― John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:58 (eighteen years ago)

Go home and ask K. to explain about the "swimming pools" in people's bodies. I think that will clear everything up.

― Sara R-C, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:59 (eighteen years ago)

when the crazed angry austrian googlers get here, i am going to delete my messages and blame FB, btw

― John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 21:59 (eighteen years ago)

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2397/2387738629_76d46698a0.jpg

John's kids

― HI DERE, Friday, 4 April 2008 22:00 (eighteen years ago)

Oh, the girls are really going to have hygiene issues, aren't they. ;_;

― Sara R-C, Friday, 4 April 2008 22:01 (eighteen years ago)

Be glad it wasn't a bathing suit shot!

― HI DERE, Friday, 4 April 2008 22:02 (eighteen years ago)

hahahahahahahaha

― John Justen, Friday, 4 April 2008 22:03 (eighteen years ago)

omg

― The Reverend, Friday, 4 April 2008 22:05 (eighteen years ago)

ELECTROLYSIS TO THE RESCUE?!

― Sara R-C, Friday, 4 April 2008 22:05 (eighteen years ago)

Although really, ouch

― Sara R-C, Friday, 4 April 2008 22:05 (eighteen years ago)

Alright JW is on 77 now. Unmoliffied lingbert takes the lead in the "most powerful thing on ILX" stakes.

― The Reverend, Friday, 4 April 2008 22:20 (eighteen years ago)

his arrival post was lolololol.

― stet, Saturday, 5 April 2008 00:12 (eighteen years ago)


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