THIS THREAD IS DOUCHEY

I feel like a douche ordering breves and even more of a couche since no one here knows what they are or how to make them. But they are so yum that I don't mind my true doucheness shining through.

-- Abbott, Friday, September 28, 2007 1:07 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

dear pleasant plains,

i'm not sure i know that song. but i do like waylon jennings' "too dumb for new york city, too ugly for l.a."!

i cannot stand billy joel. what is it about long island that produces these arch, mugging, eager-to-entertain suburban bar mitzvah boys like him and adam sandler? also he has turned into a textbook affluent boomer douchebag.

-- get bent, Friday, February 29, 2008 9:54 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

http://images.southparkstudios.com/media/images/808/808_img_11.jpg

They actually write "DOUCHE" on douches? I was under the impression they went for euphemisms like "feminine hygienic solution" or whatever.

Spencer Chow is the prototypical west coast dbag

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Friday, January 25, 2008 10:38 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

I SEE YOUR TRUE DOUCHENESS SHINING THROUUUUGGHHH
http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/071023/lauper_l.jpg

xpost to abbott quote

THE DOUCHE THREAD (FOR ADAM)

POST PICTURES OF DOUCHE BAGS

p.s. i don't really know what i'm talking about. all i know is i didn't listen to spiritual unity more than once 'cause i couldn't handle it at the time. however, i love ornette, so take that for what it is.
p.p.s. i guess this means i am not yet "officially" a jazz douchebag, only the scores of other kinds of douchebag i remain.

-- regular roundups (Dave M), Thursday, March 16, 2006 4:14 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

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I hope I didn't sound like a douche bag! I often am a douche bag, but I wasn't trying to be.
-- QuantumNoise (Justin Farrar), Thursday, March 16, 2006 4:22 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

Just got back from watching this. Totally loved it, so I guess I'm some corny indie rock douchebag.

-- polyphonic, Sunday, 13 January 2008 17:37 (2 months ago) Bookmark Link

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I don't think there's anything wrong with liking the film, polyphonic. And certainly, liking it doesn't make you as much as an indie rock whatever as liking Once. I just think there are some glaring problems with it (political - and aesthetic problems that come forth from the political problems).

-- Mordechai Shinefield, Sunday, 13 January 2008 17:45 (2 months ago) Bookmark Link

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Don't worry, I always think I'm a corny indie rock douchebag.

-- polyphonic, Sunday, 13 January 2008 17:46 (2 months ago) Bookmark Link

i've been to axe in venice. is that douchebaggy? the food was very good.

-- lauren, Friday, February 29, 2008 12:08 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger2/3131/679/1600/z/574510/gse_multipart54225.png

DON'T BE A DOUCHE BAG

have we discussed how douchey he is yet?

@_@ post-bump eyes
shaved chest
bro necklace
half-cocked van dutch trucker hat
shirt unbuttoned down to sternum

-- Steve Shasta, Saturday, October 6, 2007 12:41 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

Reverend, I think that's shower gel?

I don't know what language "Vücut Jeli" is (?) but apparently they make a "peeling" douche.

holy holy shit

2nd from left is SPORT DOUCHE

xp for when you want to peel your vag off? makes sense to me

http://webs.wichita.edu/mschneegurt/biol103/lecture18/Lysol_spray.gif

il douchey fix me, all right?

Docteur Renaud (drdou✧✧✧@trustp✧✧✧.alib✧✧✧.c✧✧) will see you now.

^^Docteur Douche

"Vücut Jeli" - Felicity, that looks like it comes from TÜRKïYE. TÜRKïYE!!!

Did people not get the shower=douche thing over with by the end of the first week of junior high French?

Good caÜl sÜzy. ÜmlaÜts are Über-doÜchey.

"PÜRE DOÜCHE"

Hahaha! Seriously, Turkish involves umlauted U and I as letters in their own right, as well as the ç and an s with the cedilla underneath. And it's fun to say Turkey in Turkish because it's basically pronounced Turkey Yay! I have close friend whose parents fled Istanbul as pol refugees who recently schooled me in all this stuff.

MOÜR DOÜCHERY

i still don't know what that song that goes "Rolled up like a Douche in a runner in the night" or however it goes. what the fuck is it really saying?

-- JasonD (JasonD), Thursday, December 19, 2002 1:36 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

didn't Manfred Mann actually change "deuce" to "douche" when he covered "blinded by the light"? if not, then i guess that's one of my misheard lyrics

-- Tad (llamasfur), Wednesday, December 25, 2002 10:50 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

Wait, I thought it really was something about a douche, until just now. I feel a little better about the song now.

-- Rockist Scientist (rockistscientist), Wednesday, February 11, 2004 4:31 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

I just read about a case that involved Robert Novak, Kenneth Starr, Robert Bork, and Scalia. It was like the Million Dollar Quartet of douches.

-- Eppy, Tuesday, February 12, 2008 10:39 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

who is the guy always dressed like a guardian angel? he seems like a total d-bag

-- bnw, Thursday, March 13, 2008 3:34 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

:-o

http://www.343guiltysnark.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/douchebag2.jpg

http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b346/a429MySpace/Insults/1163955324-douchebag.jpg

Slang uses

Douche bag, or simply douche, is considered to be a pejorative term in Australia, the United States, Canada and New Zealand. The slang usage of the term dates back to the 1960s.[6] The metaphor of identifying a person as a douche is intended to associate a variety of negative qualities, specifically arrogance and malice.

[6]^ dweeb and doofus and dirt bag and douche bad and terms of derogation

Also: big pharma IP lawyers as douchebags SHOCKAH

-- quincie, Thursday, March 13, 2008 9:53 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

John Yonderboy: ILX Douche Pioneer

February 21, 2001.

there isn't anyone on earth that i more wish to be permanently disabled in a fireworks accident than eric byrnes. i can't stand that fucking douche.

-- chicago kevin, Thursday, September 20, 2007 3:04 AM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

well douched, johnny

There are so many chick buddy comedies!!!! wtf douchetard

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Monday, June 18, 2007 2:14 PM (8 months ago) Bookmark Link

the next is far better if i dont say so my douche xp

I am so sick of omg teh gayz being the go-to issue for elections. SO FUCKING STUPID.

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, March 15, 2007 8:01 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link
gays are the new abortion

-- Mr. Que, Thursday, March 15, 2007 8:09 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link
gays are the new abortion

That's what Falwell's been saying for years.

-- Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Thursday, March 15, 2007 8:13 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link
i mean as a rallying point for douchebag candidiates

-- Mr. Que, Thursday, March 15, 2007 8:14 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link
...

Then of course there is the white-haired guy who thinks marriage is between a man and a woman. I feel bad for him because it's a two party system, but once the Douche party gains some real power, he'll be all set.

-- humansuit, Wednesday, July 25, 2007 4:53 PM (7 months ago) Bookmark Link

^^Ph.Douche

2008 Presidential Primaries Thread Edition:

why does anybody care what this douchebag loser says - he's not even in office

x-posts

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, February 14, 2008 12:45 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

PoignantFeticide (3 days ago) Show Hide Marked as spam -6 Reply | Spam Yeah, John Mayer is a fucking douche. And he proves this here, even after he's had ONE APPLETINI.

-- roxymuzak, Monday, February 18, 2008 9:49 AM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

what a douche

-- deej, Tuesday, February 19, 2008 12:58 PM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

More like Doucheman amirite.

-- Nicole, Tuesday, February 19, 2008 1:03 PM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

god, David Brooks is such a douche. Apparently now the tactic -- on both the left and right -- is to write about Obama "fatigue."

-- Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Tuesday, February 19, 2008 1:13 PM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

gad, Russert is a douche.

-- Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Sunday, February 24, 2008 7:11 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

that doesn't sound like a douchey thing to want to do

-- akm, Sunday, February 24, 2008 7:24 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

No, but Russert's investment in the efficacy of our political parties is douchey; he's genuinely appalled that someone would not accept party politics.

-- Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Sunday, February 24, 2008 7:35 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

and if max deej and whatever other sort of douches would like to see me repeatedly and consistently predicting an obama win while everyone else was all lol hillays got it in the bag just go back and browse some threads bitches

-- jhøshea, Thursday, February 28, 2008 2:54 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

^^max = all but Douchertation

Maybe I was immune to Morrison!To!Blazers! because I was out of the area. Also because I don't listen to college douchebags or radio hosts...and because if Bill Simmons says something about the NBA he's pretty much automatically RONG.

-- Dimension 5ive, Tuesday, November 13, 2007 1:34 PM (4 months ago) Bookmark Link

"Presidential Candidate Speculation Thread" edition:

for the dems, it's all about schwietzer, or however it's spelled.
don't worry about allen. as someone who lived in va during his tenure (and who has met the man; he asked me if my family were "chicken farmers"), i can testify that he's a total douchebag and utterly charmless, even with the nfl pedigree.

-- Jams Murphy (ystrickler), Thursday, June 2, 2005 1:51 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

THIS JUST IN. . . .YOUR INTERNET IS THREE MONTHS OLD. . .SO DON'T POST OLD ARTICLES PROVING YOUR POINT. . .UNLESS YOU WANT PEOPLE TO THINK YOU ARE AN ANCIENT FLAMING DOUCHEBAG. . .

-- Mr. Que (Mr.Que), Monday, January 29, 2007 1:28 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

obama's (or his campaign's) response to clinton camp douchery = me liking dude for first time. if he can take out hillary he'll be a doing dems a big favor
-- gershy, Wednesday, February 21, 2007 7:55 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

I take my shots where i can gets 'em, and i get a sense of schadenfreude out of douchebags like Mccoullough all freaked out
-- kingfish, Thursday, March 8, 2007 12:17 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

i mean as a rallying point for douchebag candidiates
-- Mr. Que, Thursday, March 15, 2007 1:14 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

btw are there any other "leading politix bloggas" besides wanket and sullivan that have linked explicitly to hotchickswithdouchebags.com

-- TOMBOT, Friday, June 1, 2007 10:01 AM (9 months ago) Bookmark Link

You're right. Of the major candidates, Biden is one of the most well spoken and has always impressed me in that regard. I don't see the marshmallow-man thing - because he's fat? I don't care, he' still has the best, most nuanced answers. Obama is very well spoken as well.

Candidates who are not well spoken - Hilary:

Richardson answer - We should push for UN peacekeeping forces and not rely on African forces.

Clinton answer - I have been making decisions in international politics for 30 years and [plug further sloganing here]

Then of course there is the white-haired guy who thinks marriage is between a man and a woman. I feel bad for him because it's a two party system, but once the Douche party gains some real power, he'll be all set.

-- humansuit, Wednesday, July 25, 2007 9:53 AM (7 months ago) Bookmark Link

on behalf of San Francisco, FUCK YOU you racist rich cult-following douchebag

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, August 21, 2007 10:33 AM (6 months ago) Bookmark Link

"our campaign process is a travesty of contentless debates, interest-group ads and zillion-dollar war chests..." etc etc and at the end of this, we don't have to like HRC (contentless debate + war chest and all) but we can't dislike her because of this cloud of journalistic unknowing? "Republicans and maudlin kneejerk underdoggists..." these are, como se dice, aspersions. you're playing a kind of r adultery game on this thread dude just come out with it: are you a fan of HRC? do you want her to beat Obamedwards et al? why?

punditry is evaluatable, the candidates and their campaigns are evaluatiable, their published positions are evaluatable -- you CAN know, maybe not "as well as you'd like" (in a fallen world, hah!) but enough to make a decision, sound & fury notwithstanding. Because of highly paid and sadly influential douchebags like Russert or Broder, we can't have serious qualms about the frontrunner? that's the wierdest clintonoid defense i've heard yet.

-- gff, Friday, November 16, 2007 9:09 AM (3 months ago) Bookmark Link

goldwater was pro choice and pro gay rights
he was a douche w/ foreign policy and a touchpoint for the political right after the 'victory' of the new deal but as a politician he was relatively moderate compared w/ what came after

-- deej, Friday, December 28, 2007 10:07 AM (2 months ago) Bookmark Link

my vote will go to the highest scorer on a longer version of the following quiz:

+ 1 for non-white
+ 1 for non-fundieness
+ 1 for agnosticism
+ 1 for vagina
+ 1 for fattey
+ 1 for cigarette smoker
+ 1 for admitted drug use
+ 1 for cute kids
+ 1 for interesting backstory
+ 1 for articulate, thoughtful rhetorical style
+ 1 if under 50
+ 1 for sensible and compassionate immigration policy
+ 1 for using the phase 'douchebag' in public
+ 1 for being a little ornery
+ 1 for getting me, personally, health coverage

- 1 for shrillness
- 1 if over 60
- 1 for each 9/11 reference
- 1 for 'solution to the middle east'
- 1 for 'global war on terror'
- 1 for being a shitheel former governor of massachusetts
- 1 for agreeable southern populism

-- remy bean, Friday, January 4, 2008 10:15 AM (2 months ago) Bookmark Link

+ 1 for using the phase 'douchebag' in public

^^max = all but Douchertation summa cum douche

d-bag - welcome

d-bag® by d-products

i am a douche for always waiting too long to book things.

-- eatadick.com (Carey), Wednesday, March 22, 2006 2:23 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

DOOBIE BROTHERS

Vice,

I met a guy in Somerset, UK, at an All Tomorrow's Parties show out there. His name is Mick. He is from the UK but lives in Amsterdam. I found something that said he might have been an editor for you guys. Any chance you know him? I'd love to thank him for the blunt he gave me.

Word boogie,

JASON
Via email

We fired that guy because he kept giving "blunts" to "douches" at "festivals."

--The 4-ACO-DMT Issue, Feb. 2008

. douche chill

the awkward cold feeling a girl gets when cleaning her cooch. used as slang to describe something awkward.

douche chill

Introduced by the character Tobias Funke (David Cross) on the short-lived but acclaimed, award winning FOX sitcom Arrested Development. "Douche chill" is an exclamation calling attention to the embarrassment of someone who has brought ill consequences on themselves.

Typically annunciated an octave or two higher than one's normal speaking voice and drawing out the "L" sound in "chill."

^^^Prof., UC Douchekeley A+

B.A., M.Phil, PhDouche

people were saying douche chill way before tobias!

i've actually never heard it, just cut and copied it from urbandictionary

you're the man now douche

You have purchased the album Jeff Beck With The Jan Hammer Group Live by Jeff Beck. The Amazon MP3 Downloader should download your purchase momentarily (if not, click here to start the download).

^^^D(ouche) minus. Where's the douche?

That seems harsh given the incredibly douchey subtext.

i think a main part of the difference is that Max Roach looks like a classy dude who may even enjoy his job, and Joe Satriani looks like a douchenozzle who thinks he's some real hot shit and is on a mission to convince you of same.

-- kenan, Wednesday, January 23, 2008 10:58 AM (Wednesday, January 23, 2008 10:58 AM) Bookmark Link

Phi Beta Douche

"Douchitas"

Lyndon Ladouche

Ladouche: DoÜcheland Über Alles

Incidentally, friends of mine often refer to someone they don't like as "Douche LaRouche". I never bothered to ask if this had anything to do with Lyndon.

-- Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Tuesday, December 20, 2005 8:29 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

Douchignated Hitter

people who wear scarves are douches and should wear douches around their necks

-- brownie, Wednesday, March 19, 2008 6:21 PM (25 minutes ago)

douché, john

wowowowow the whole context of that post is v. douchà vu.

It always cracks me up how self-conscious and insecure guys are about looking gay or douchey or too effeminate. Be a man. Wear what you please. The rest of the world can go fcuk itself, seriously. Are you going to be lying in your deathbed regretting that douchey scarf or regretting that you gave a shit what some other douche though?

-- Michael White, Wednesday, 19 March 2008 18:11 (Yesterday) Link

It's not the 'pretention' of kids wearing scarves that bugs me. It's the aesthetic inarticulacy mostly, the failure to see when it doesn't work. I'm not super judgmental about what other people wear and douchey wears ALL kinds of styles in my experience.

t-shirt/scarf combo dude could be cool if he were just a nutter but from a functional pov he IS cretinous.

-- Michael White, Wednesday, 19 March 2008 18:17 (Yesterday) Link

i was going to write something about not wanting to look douchey or too effeminate just for my own personal satisfaction & sense of style, then i realized i'm wearing flowers in that picture that i posted, lol.

(i have no memory of who put those there, but i was drinking and i'm sure it was a girl)

-- Jordan, Wednesday, 19 March 2008 18:18 (Yesterday) Link

Tying your pants legs would be some douchey fashion.

-- dan m, Wednesday, 19 March 2008 18:34 (Yesterday) Link

People, so afraid to, let their true doucheness shine through. :(

they should go pay to download some jeff beck and jan hammer!! that took lots of guts

^^^ douche gts

^^^ u

^^^o

^^^u

^^^c

^^^h

^^^e

^^^g

find out what it means to me!

haha, out-douched by Tombot

lol supahfyootchah lol conspicuous douchefoolery

there's something insidiously compulsive about photographing and notating your to-go pack of kleenex and your three colors of imported hi-liters, whereas you could chalk the waywt kids up to the simple stupidity & vanity

-- elmo argonaut, Thursday, September 6, 2007 11:13 AM (6 months ago) Bookmark Link

wow i have no idea what language that is trying to be in

supahfyootchah = superfuture
waywt = what are you wearing

douchefoolery = should go without saying, but awesomeness

lots of typical "i have read fight club" style restaurant stuff (people gettin cookies that've been on the floor, i've been made aware of an ex-homie fired for peeing in soup) people walkin in on "clean rooms" and finding blood on the bedding (about twice a month, 200 rooms), a dbag manager who made it his goal to bed a girl in each one of the rooms (!). he would then have housekeeping clean said room and rent it out later in the day.

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, March 19, 2008 11:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

no aidsy posts non-schocker

-- sanskrit, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 18:02 (Yesterday) Link

i didnt notice the thread, DOUCHESKRIT~

Notice how Morbz never quotes BP shit that doesn't support his already-existing opinions? HMMMM

-- cankles, Tuesday, October 16, 2007 7:28 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

BITTER RENTERS! I am buying 7 units here on the first day. I will live in a different one every day!
Comment #17, left at 03/25/08 04:16 PM.

WHAT A DOUCHE, WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GO ON THE 8TH DAY?
Comment #18, left at 03/25/08 04:26 PM.

Curbed.com, Tuesday, March 25, 2008

still can't identify with jazz douchebag st. dan lovers.
-- Susan Douglas

-- david palmer (lovebug starski), Thursday, April 13, 2006 7:26 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

i realized after i said that, that it was a bit douchey... sorry

-- s1ocki, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 2:36 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

twofer

this thread is
this thread is
this thread is doucheytronic

thx for your vote lauren

tried some on the other day (dark blue), sort of on the edge between fashionably retro and ironically douchey

the multicolored ones they have out now are mad ugly

-- dmr, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 12:46 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

I totally sonned that douchebag Jon Darneel on ILM, check it out.

-- wanko ergo sum, Saturday, March 29, 2008 9:42 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

gabbneb: midtown douche

-- ghost rider, Tuesday, September 18, 2007 9:47 AM (6 months ago) Bookmark Link

oh yeah, I do all those 5 sets of 5 repetitions each, except for the bodyweight exercises which I do 3 sets to failure.

-- Dan I., Tuesday, April 1, 2008 11:27 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

<i>but I guess I'm not so obsessed with being cool that I care.</i>

didn't mean for this to sound as incredibly douchey as it does!

-- Dan I., Tuesday, April 1, 2008 11:30 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

I FUCKING HATE THIS DOUCHEBAG SO MUCH

-- Jesus Dan (Dan Perry), Tuesday, August 1, 2006 5:21 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

(re Larry the Cable Guy)

i love it on ILB when people complain about McCarver or Joe Morgan in the post-season. hearing them is manna to my ears after a season of douchey Kay.

-- sanskrit, Wednesday, April 2, 2008 11:16 AM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I hate hearing or using the word douche and its derivatives, but they're so useful!

Fukudome sounds like a Japanese JD Drew. You know, without the fundie, douchebag, hyperbaric chamber bullshit.

-- mayor jingleberries, Sunday, October 28, 2007 11:30 AM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

t/s "This is just further evidence that all the mods are dbags which is what I've been saying ALL ALONG ALL THIS TIME" vs. "This is just further evidence that CERTAIN PEOPLE can't be part of a community and need to fuck off like I've been saying ALL ALONG ALL THIS TIME"

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, April 6, 2008 10:10 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

soul patch should be renamed douche badge.

-- chicago kevin, Tuesday, April 8, 2008 9:58 AM (11 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

tombot in outdouching williamsburg indierockers shocker

-- jeff, Thursday, April 10, 2008 1:05 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.blogadilla.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/corp_douche_kig.png

-- Mr. Que, Thursday, April 24, 2008 1:44 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

they are huge homophobes and assholes. they called us faggots and they are in the midst of one of the gayest areas ever. firstly, only 2 of the 14 of us were gay, second it's just fucked up
boycott those tedious rockabilly fuckers

-- wtf, Tuesday, June 14, 2005 9:38 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

1) Who rolls with 14 people? DOUCHEBAGS

2) "tedious" is a good insult tho!

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Wednesday, May 7, 2008 10:55 AM (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I like you too

you like everybody

I try.

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, maybe its time to admit that you're too old for this if you have enough resentment and entitlement about a fucking douchey city to complain about it on the internet

-- thirdalternative, Wednesday, May 7, 2008 7:17 PM (3 hours ago)

i expect this thirdalternative person to be worked up enough in the near future that his posts will all just be DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE ARGGGGDOUCHE!

To anyone who didn't vote for chubby hubby - you are a douchebag.

-- John Justen, Friday, January 25, 2008 9:37 PM (3 months ago)

http://thetotaldoucheblog.com/

that is awesome

A necessary service to humankind.

The 5 Signs You're Talking To A Social Media Douchebag