ASK RUBYREDD

what do you know about vampire energy?

napier, classic or best small town ever

OH YAY MY OWN QUESTION THREAD I ALWAYS WANTED ONE

JERGINS I <3 YOU

1. cuba st is awesome. kind of. it depends on my mood, really. nice little boutiquey stores and the best bars in wellington. if we're talking cuba vs. courtenay place, then cuba wins easily.

2. vampire energy: ummmmm... don't go see "30 days of night". that is my only opinion on the matter at this point in time.

3. napier: dude. they have that tiny little water fun park. that's all i remember. oh, and it's all art deco-ed out because of the huge earthquake they had there in the 30s which wiped out the whole town, so it had to built from scratch. looks just a little dated now, tho.

1. a) cuba st has two cafes: "fidel's" and "ernesto's"

groan

classic or dud http://www.world-guides.com/images/wellington/wellington_beehive.jpg

There is a tip jar in one of my NZ coffee shops (I patronise 2!) with "Tups" written on it.

mark, that does not sound like a question

4. classic for fugliness.

5. HOW MUCH DOES MY HEAD WEIGH

?

5. normally i would need either a photograph or to hold you gently between my hands, lightly tugging on your precious earlobes. but in this instance, i will guestimate: 3.5 pounds

WRONG

NO WAIT THAT MIGHT BE RIGHT

OK THEN

mark, that does not sound like a question

lol

Ruby, what is your impression of the Oakland Athletics? Are you excited that they're going to be 'your team'?

Justine, do you think bald guys are hell of hott?

KANTLIPS i am always right. never question my veracity.

6. who the fuck are 'oakland athletics'?? the only sports team i have to start supporting are USC trojans, because that's jordan's team. my sport affliations end there, i'm afraid to say.

7. mark, you know for a fact that i find bald guys HELLA HOTT - jordan is bald and by far the sexiest man i know.

it is a scientifically proven fact that bald men are more virile and better lovers. also anecdotally proven.

7. should i get a bottle of wine after my double shift tonight and get wasted?

on my own?

7. yes, you most definitely should

lol 'u'

chaki this is not the place for frivolity; serious questions only please. do you need relationship advice? i am always here for you, buddy.

yes give me relationship advice '_'

i can't believe ppl aren't inundating this thread with questions. i'm a fountain of useful knowledge, guys.

ruby! plz remind us when you are moving to oakland!

?

I am drunk but should I go into kitchen/living room where extremely fucking annoying german girl is sleeping "uncomfortably" to get bottle of jack daniels which I bought for "emergencies"

this one needs an immediate reply to be relevant. loves ya j but tomorrow is much too late.

well, i got the ph call today about my interview for the program - april 4. after i get through that, then i gotta have another interview to get the visa (which should be sweet). then i have to get a ton of money together. money issues are big issues right now, but i'm aiming for early june.

some days it feels like the date is just getting further away, not closer ;_;

T, my little irish rose, go get the JD. fuck that stupid german girl, her sleep is not that important to me, whereas your wellbeing is.

she is stupid isn't she. I will take off my shoes though.

oh, june is so soon! it is! then we will be neighbors, of sorts.

no, stomp loudly through and bang about a whole bunch, just for laughs.

i has the jd shoul I go bak?

june is soon for everyone but me!

mostly because the date keeps shifting: first it was feb, then it was early april, now it's june. but i still might not have enough $$ then, so it might not be till july. seattle's not that far from oakland, right? i mean, flying-wise.

T, yes, go back and pretend you need ice or something. act even drunker than you really are.

and T, is o-ess your bf or your friend?

wel i i need ic e i need a glass and hey are all dirty and so i mus wash one firstt

ois is long ime bf

ok forget the 'act drunker than you are' because you are obviously quite drunken. wash glass noisily.

where are you?

no, not too far. coupla hours, coupla hundred bucks.

we're going there next month for MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

dear rubyredd,

would you be so kind as to list five visual artists you've been thinking about?

your friend,

I didn't spell M.A.N.D.Y. right!!

what is MANDY and do you mean you're going to oakland next month?!

five visual artists i am thinking about:
1. peter callesen http://www.petercallesen.com/index/index2.html
he does awesome stuff with paper cutting.

2. robert parkeharrison - as mentioned on other thread: wicked cool photography. have been a fan for a little while but totally in love with my new book.

3. casey curran http://www.viveza.com/artist_portfolio.asp?artistid=15 makes awesome 'book art'

4. ray caesar. i am always thinking about ray caesar. still waiting for the special collectors edition book with signed and numbered giclee to arrive.

5. john casey http://www.bunnywax.com/drawings/index.html because his style is weird and creepy and interesting

6. Maureen gallace

7. Futoshi Miyagi

You just don't know it yet

M.A.N.D.Y. (sf not oakland)
http://www.rhythmism.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=36150&stc=1

ahem a question: have you ever seen neko case before?

hmmm... a big no to maureen gallace; doesn't appeal to me at all.
still thinking about whether i like miyagi or not.

jergins: i wish i was going to be in oakland next month :( :( :(

i have not seen neko case, but if she comes to sf/bay area then i'm dragging jordan with me to see her

where the fuck is my relationship advice?

pd

also we are seeing booka shade
http://andersb.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/2007-01-20_18-12-52_booka_shade.jpg

CHAKI YOU NEED TO BE MORE SPECIFIC THAN "GIVE ME ADVICE"

2002getphysicalmusic

T, isn't it like 5am in ireland??

5.09 i have gotten home from work. It was my last night. had hotdogs.

i shud sleep because i must meet friend for st patricks day parade tomorrow. Up in five hrs

i am reading wikipedia page about lacan.

rubyredd q.= explain lacan.

i wish i could! is he the guy that had all the theories about the consciousness of children or some such thing?

not sure, it is difficult, wikipedia is written by insane people.

jealous of ppl seeing mandy and booka shade :(

sf's not far

Louis or Dom: who'd ya do?

louis

i'd probably have to gag him first, though

i was gonna ask you to elaborate but i don't think i'm gonna. PLEASE DON'T.

should i have a bowl of shreddies or do some work?

louis is a sweetheart but i would bet he's a bit of talker at inappropriate times.

have a bowl of shreddies: you are doing your employer an injustice by not being at your nutritional best, otherwise.

louis has informed me that he is in fact not a talker

a squeaker?

you'd know better than me

lol at louis responding

Rubyredd - does your boyfriend enjoy ILX?

he occasionally reads ITR threads, and i did convince him to register awhile ago - but he only made one post and then never came back! stupid me: i told him about how evil ilx can be (as evidenced by GIS-ing lj) and that pretty much put him off posting here. plus, the threads here move too fast for occasional readers, and we've been long-time members of another forum where we have a bunch of friends.

if he can remember his password, i'll get him to respond to your question himself :)

please let him know that there are many password recovery services available through ilx, some right here on itr i want to change my password for ILX

whoa that's the first itr thread

yes i know jergz but if he wants to use that as an excuse for not posting, then i am going to let him and not be mean about it.

Rubyredd, do you ever think ILX is an awful place and you should keep yr man as far away from it as possible?

ilx in general, but not itr.

BONUS POINTS AWARDED TO RR

now you get your choice of trailers

Hey John Justen

Oh now John is in charge of who gets which trailers... this should be interesting.

i want which ever trailer is max's second choice

fair enough

UGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG

sorry max

hi everyone... i fished my password out of my email to respond to the burning questions here- i do enjoy me some ITR (and ILTRMB), but i need a forum that rides a rusty tricycle rather than a supercharged go-kart. otherwise i get left in the dust.

hey, here's a question in the spirit of the thread: rubyredd, aren't you just the cutest?

YES, YES I AM but can we please keep that off board? i have a reputation to uphold here.

and yes, i'm sick of explaining itr in-jokes to you, just because you're too lazy to keep up.

Awwwww. I think he kinda likes you, Rubyredd.

ewwww gayyyy

MAX U R GAY

i'm gay for rubyred, and i can't hide it. but don't worry, i'll keep my sweet nothings off the boards from now on.

i'm retarded for her too.

OMG WTF STOP TRYING TO EMBARRASS ME

just kidding <3 <3 <3

Awwwww.

gross

^_^

m bare ass

ASK!

You won't say no?

HOW COULD YOU.

no bare asses on my thread plz jergz

THANX FOR THE POSTCARD RUBY IT WAS AWESOME YOUR HANDWRITING IS JUST LIKE MY FRIEND NOELLE'S

aw yay you got it! i had to use a dumb pen, which makes my writing funny. i'm glad you liked it!

ps. lxy! when i get these GPP letterpress postcards finally finished, i SWEAR yours will be the first i post!

<3 (((:))) <3

(i pretended that jergins' p-c was for me, too. so thx for the xxx!)

okay i have the day off so maybe i will sew the buttons on today and finish them! the problem is that we printed onto big pieces of card, and cutting them down to size is a pain because they need to be centred. but i think i might just send you one of the completed originals (i was only supposed to get back four of the originals we submitted with our project, but the other two girls never bothered to pick theirs up, so i have all of them).

i will be happy to receive it whenever it arrives, ruby.

<3 <3 <3

Dear JP,

How did your interview go?

Love,
MC

dear mark,
my interview went fine! nothing too stressful, i had all the right answers, and my interviewer was impressed with my 'realistic' expectations/plans.

xxxJP

Dear JP,

Are you doing something fun today? I am having a night in and crave chatz!

Best,
MC

dear mark,

i just woke up and i'm going to work, so we can have chatz soon!

xxxJP

ps. july 10 i go to americaaaaaaaaaa!

Woohoo! Does that mean all the hurdles are now cleared??

well, not quite, but PRACTICALLLY. still have to get the visa (shouldn't be any problems there), and still have 3 months in which all mannerof things could go wrong, money-wise, but it's definitely steaming ahead.

did you eat a bunch of marmite to celebrate it's triumph over vegemite?

no, as you well know.

i ate peanut butter instead.

RR where are you going in America? yr guyfriend is over here somewhere, right? (Apologies if I've got that wrong)

oakland, CA. ytth is my manfriend and that is where he lives.

oakland is a wonderful place to live. i took a walk around the lake today to confirm this.

you are there; of course it's a wonderful place to live <3 <3 <3

HAHAH GROSSING ALL YOU GUYZ OUT

i think you get that privilege in your thread. i, on the other hand, was sternly reprimanded (if by "sternly reprimanded," you mean "called a homo").

i give you permission to be a homo on my thread.

hey ytth. wanna make out?

he's only allowed to be a homo with me. stop trying to steal my man! he is a hottie though, so i can't really blame you.

curt1s i started a scramble game with you.

I played my first turn but I forgot how to play boggle for like the first minute

lingbert is hell on wheels when it comes to boggle. i refuse to play with him.

Hey RR if you are here in June you should totally come to my wedding. Well, it will be about 1400 miles from yr new town. But....think about it. Or don't think about it; it's entirely up to you.

abbott, i feel so honoured and privileged to be invited to your wedding and i would most certainly come if it was at all possible... but i can't get to the US till july 10 and then it will be awhile before i leave jordan's bedroom ;) ;) ;)

Hahaha for real

You could hold the wedding in the bedroom. But that might be rude.

yeah i think maybe we'll want some ALONE TIME thx ned, you big perv

i don't think i'm all that amazing at boggle.

Did you see the King of the Hill where Peggy was in a Boggle championship?

Oh hey Ned did I tell you I'm getting married in a LIBRARY? (or, as its sign says, "LIBRARY!")

Most wonderful. :-)

RR is beating my butt in Scramble.

"Did you see the King of the Hill where Peggy was in a Boggle championship?"

I did not.

do they actually have boggle championships?

i saw that. it was awesome.

*checks google*
*can't find anything on google*

I am horrible at Scramble, and yet I find it as addictive as Scrabulous. I keep hoping I'll improve, but...

And yeah, RR kicks my butt consistently.

scramble is much like scrabulous, in that you need to learn all the short obscure words like 'anes' and 'neb' and shit. so the more you play the better you get. also helps to look at the complete wordlists at the end of the game.

i'm slightly obsessed with it. i had my best score in a live/open game the other day: 127 points (or thereabouts).

also: a scramble board with an 's' is awesome because then you pretty much double up your score by pluralising every word.

The "s" thing is the only thing that saves me from having scores under, like, 20 in every game.

But - good tips! I will study the word lists more thoroughly...

i don't agree with some of scramble's 'not a valid word' calls

i know. it keeps refusing words like 'clit' or 'shite'

"shit" is fine

oh i know, and so is 'shat'. that third round was freakin hard. you beat me by two points.

Dear Rubyredd,

Do you want to have hot trans-tasman sex? I promise that Vegemite will not be involved in any way with our intercourse.

Best regards,
King Boy Pato

dear KBP,

that is a very generous offer, but i'm not sure how it would work (unless you have like a 1000km-long penis. which would be pretty weird). and i'm also completely smitten with my american beau.

thanks for thinking of me,
RR

lol I thought that said "transman"

stop fucking round on ilx and play your scramble turn, young man.

Rubyredd dammit I am home alone and couldn't think of anything better than a bit of Rubyredd chat action. Y/N

shit i just woke up not long ago, had to book my tix, and now i'm getting ready to head off to work! boss is there all day so not sure if i can have chatz :(

I played my turn.

nine hours late

the youth of today have no respect for punctuality.

rubyredd,

did you see eagle vs shark? is that basically how it all goes down in sheep fuckin' town? also do you sound like that girl from the movie when you talk.

also I'm sorry if northern hemisphere bitches aren't supposed to say things like sheepfucker or mongrel or whatever it's just y'know in the thread title all the time and I see it and think it must be okay

dear tombot,

i haven't seen it yet, but i heard it's shit. they guy who directed it, taika cohen, is a big douche, who thinks he's so cool cuz he's world famous in nz and he 'fell asleep' at the oscars. i may sound like the girl in the movie when i talk.

RR

PS. yes those terms are fine when they are used as terms of endearment, which i'm sure is how you're using them.

Dear Ruby I think im possibly the only person to find this movie very endearing but there you go. I see you enjoy a marmite cheese and lettuce sandwich, a fulfilling and versatile meal in a minute , yet one would be remiss in not offering another kiwi classic- the decadent marmite sandwich stacked high with plain salted ETA ripples for your verdict.

Does this agree with you?

hi kiwi!

i just got home from my oh-so-fun job and yes you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! i can't believe i forgot the marmite/eta ripples chips sandwich! it is the BEST THING EVAHHH! in fact, it is way better than marmite/cheese/lettuce. maybe i should ask for a rematch in the -mite wars.

also: there is a good chance that i will also like this movie if everyone else hated, since i'm good like that. but i really don't like taika cohen. he annoys me.

kiwi, you may have missed the itr discussion we had about awesome nz lollies/chocolate bars, but jaffas and perky nanas and snifters and pineapple lumps were mentioned and the americans are very excited to try these things.

xRR

Rubyredd,

What do you think about the return of the Goodnight Kiwi (and The Cat), even if it is just back on TVNZ 6 Digital? Also, why does the Goodnight Kiwi get to sleep under his own blankets while The Cat has to freeze his arse off on top of the transmission tower?

-KBP

lxy cried at that eagle vs shark movie

movie kinda sucked though except for the pastoral staring at the sea moments

dear kpg,

i haven't watched tv in months so i have no idea what you're talking about, i'm afraid. but if what you say is true, them i'm all for it. i have fond memories of goodnight kiwi, except that i rarely saw him and the cat because my parents sent me to bed well before any other kids in this country.

xRR

did i even see that movie?

http://filmmakermagazine.com/directorinterviews/uploaded_images/Eagle_vs_Shark_1-757316.jpg

oh jesus. yeah it's true, i cried.

that girl's way cuter than that picture might lead one to believe

not believing u

hmm

jergins's cuteness antenna can see past a bad getup, giving hope to every girl who ever foolishly donned a pointy headgear.

i have seen her IRL and she's just ok but her nose is kinda beaky and she has horsey sort of teeth. she has pretty hair though. i would rent this and watch it and get back to you with my highly esteemed opinion but the dvd thingy on my laptop is fucked.

who asked you!

who asked YOU

ok rubyredd

woman i am headoverheels w/ is still keen to see me after i confessed feelings, also she is very busy with work, and is going on holiday for two weeks on monday. we met today and it was lovely, sat in park chatting. we haven't kissed yet. she says she'll try and see me tomorrow (today) as well if she can make time (she probably will). then bye-bye until mid-june, when she comes back and we both have way more free time.

this lady radiates positivity and we get on like a jigsaw, also she is 25. have had her foremost in my thoughts for over a month now.

when we meet tomorrow (today), should i restate the fact that i am totally into her and suggest that we try a relationship after she gets back? bearing in mind the reason she gave for why we shouldn't do anything 4 weeks ago was the prospect of ruining my exams (she is very selfless, and this was inarguably sincere).

yours

lou15 xx

DEAREST LJ,

firstly: i'm so happy you find a cool lady! i knew it would happen! :) :) :)

secondly: it seems clear to me that she is, at the very least, rather interested in you. you have made your feelings clear recently, so there's no need to explicitly restate them. but i would recommend that you remind her how much you're looking forward to spending some time with her when she gets back. two weeks is nothing (i have been waiting 14 months so far, with another 5.5 weeks to go), although you will probably think of her every moment of every day.

as for your question: wait till she gets back, go on a couple more dates/outings/whatevs and then broach the relationship subject, i.e. something along the lines of 'i really love spending time with you, and there's no one else i'd rather be}{insert activity, eg. hanging out in park with}, so how do you feel about making this exclusive?' actually, maybe you could mention tomorrow/today how boring the next couple of weeks will be, because there's no one else you really want to hang out with? it depends: is she the kind of girl who likes to flattered in this way? (i know i am).

she's a good age for you louis, and i am particularly happy about this 'radiates positivity' bit, because i think that is ideal and necessary for someone like you.

<3
RR

aw man that's awesome RR! :) I might well hint at something tomorrow but I'll keep it implicit. I think she might be the kind of woman who makes out she doesn't enjoy flattery while actually doing so! :D

her mum is having a tough time with illness, which casts a shadow, but she doesn't half put a brave face on and see the good in her situation (her mum has insisted on going through with the holiday, perhaps showing where the genes come from). also she keeps fit, socialises, doesn't judge people hastily, studies languages...my admiration for the woman knows no ends.

and yeah i was always gonna fall for/appeal more to an older woman, not that i'm particularly mature myself ;-) but that they would have to be. also i get a kick out of older, taller, more intelligent etc. she is certainly two of those, probably 3.

cheers muchly for the advice!

10uis xx <3

roo-bee, when are you leaving wellington/nz? i forget.

she only has a countdown ticker on her blog jeez

that is a bit hurtful considering i have never even heard of this informative blog.

estela my dearest: I GO TO AMERICA

i leave nz in 39 days!! i had a *moment* last night. i think my heart might have momentarily stopped beating.

LOUIS: i am liking this lady more and more, and i have great faith that all will be well. if her mum is sick, now is the time she needs you most, esp as a friend, so don't force the relationship issue, just let her know you're totally there for her with whatever she needs.

i though you sounded like a marmite and chips kinda lady, so very very good. I havent caught the lolly thread--too much time online makes for an unhappy kiwi, good luck with America XXX

you are v v right: i think i probably spend way too much time on here, but i have a boring day job and am leading the quiet life while i save $$ for the move. although i really should have been using this time to read more, but my brain has been fried since the end of uni and books seem to require too much concentration. i did recently finish the heart is a lonely hunter (awesome awesome awesome) and now i'm reading hunting and gathering which jordan's mum sent me. it's not exactly my kind of book - it's an english translation of a french best seller, in the style of joanne harris, kind of - but it's a nice easy read.

Louis, things are cool with her right now so please - and I say this with a great deal of experience - just enjoy her company, be a nice guy to be around - basically you DON'T want to start saying things because what you may think is flattery she may feel as pressure. She likes you for you, not because you're potential boyfriend material or because you give her compliments. So be you.

To repeat - I know how you put things sometimes, and trying to squeeze implicit messages into what should be a fun and poignant occasion is pretty much 100% a bad idea. I know if I were you, even if things seemed to go well, I'd spend the next 4 weeks analysing how she might have reacted to comments I might have implied. On her part it is so so simple - she either likes you and wants something to develop in 4 weeks, or she likes you in a different way and no amount of subliminal flattery is going to get you anywhere - instead she could feel pressurised or even creeped out. Also, even if she does like you, you don't want to head down a slippery slope where you're the one paying court, giving compliments, etc., as it really can lead to an imbalance in a relationship. And chicks don't like it when men come on too strong.

The other course of action, of course, is to kiss her - it'd let her know your feelings and give her a taste of what she's got to look forward to.

This is also very sound advice, and I'm grateful! You seem to have our dynamic pegged down. After consideration I'm NOT gonna repost yr first sentence to the "illicit or dangerous activities to sound cool thread". ;-) In all seriousness, wisdom from the experienced is what I need. I perhaps haven't gotten across quite how strongly I came over a few weeks ago; I wrote a couple of lengthy love-messages, both eulogising her character beyond the skies. She basically told me to back off and concentrate on my exams. With this in mind, the very fact she's seeing me again is encouragement enough. I'll know now not to blow it this time.

And it's only 2 weeks!

And chicks don't like it when men come on too strong

i don't know about this. what is 'too strong'?? jordan always played it completely straight with me and made it plain as daylight how he felt, and it was the best thing ever. i loved knowing exactly where i stood, how important i was to him, and that he definitely wanted to pursue something pretty serious.

hi ruby<3, i had seen that thread but not thought of it as a blog and i was too lazy to look for it to see when you were going. it is very exciting, i hope it all goes as smooth as a love letter from louis (who it really is nice to see back here again)(who promised he would stop writing love letters to girls).

hi estela, yes i thought i would keep my boring-ass posts about moving to the US confined to a single live-blog thread so as not to inundate all of itr with my excitement.

the absence of jagger has made my <3 grow fonder of him, i must admit. lj is just a love-lettering kind of guy, i'm not sure he should ever stop.

estela, the funny thing is that i have found the right girl but it is now after exams in my final year, which is pretty much the single most amenable 4-week period in my life for finding all the wrong girls. i think i'll have to go with my heart rather than my loins on this one, as an approach it'll pay off eventually, maybe even this time

rubyredd i will definitely write missives of passion in future, but only when the passion is mutual and assured. i reckon i'd be a great absent lover ;_;

i didn't mean that i liked you more when you weren't here! i meant that your absence made me appreciate you more when you came back!

haha no worries i wasn't actually referring to that bit! my use of 'absent' was coincidental and self-deprecating. altho it's nice that you said that, anyway. ;-)

Louis, if you were OTT and she told you to back off I'd be pretty careful. Obviously it's hard to portray in words the dynamic between the two of you but I promise you, NOT overdoing it is the right thing here. IF she likes you that way, she will want to spend time with fun, happy, normal Louis, not Cyrano de Bergerac. Love letters and the like are all very well but they're a front, they're theatre, they're not what you do when you're hanging out with someone.

Personally I'd hold back on the florid compliments until you know you've snared her, and even then, take it a bit easy. Pressure kills relationships.

Well, Mark, that's precisely the approach I took on Saturday, and the approach I'll take this afternoon when I see her to the station.

Is that your way of saying you've spent the weekend enjoying the fruits of each other's fleshly amours?

No, it's my way of saying I've been very much taking it easy, not saying anything of romantic inflection or putting pressure on her. The groceries will have to wait.

ilx is like a whole nuvver world with LJ back in town.

"Pressure kills relationships." is the truthiest bomb in this bitch.

*AHEM*

THIS IS ASK RUBYREDD, NOT ASK MARK C

it's like a whole nuvvieworld!

erm, RR, is it ok if I occasionally ask other ppl questions here too?

yrs

LJ xx

When someone sets up an ASK MARK C thread I will be delighted to offer my wisdom there :)

xpost NO YOU HAVE ALL OF ILX FOR THAT LJ

MARK C

DO YOU THINK THAT, SHOULD IN AN "ASK MARK C" THREAD POEPLE WOULD ASK BETTER QUESTIONS AND THAT YOU WOULD PROVIDE BETTER ANSWRES?

TXT BCK

NICK

kia kaha ruby!

HI NICK

RUBY GIVES UPSIDE DOWN GIRL ANSWERS. FOR REAL RIGHT WAY UP MAN ANSWERS, VOTE MARK C IN 2008

YRS
MARK

OMFG I GO TO TRY AND SLEEP AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS

i was having weird wierd dreams. firstly: nick can't even speak english so his opinion doesn't count. secondly: LJ IF YOU VALUE MARK C'S DUMB MAN OPINIONS OVER MY FEMAIL WISDOM THEN YOU SHOULD START AN ASK MARK C THREAD. oh but wait he hasn't

kia ora, estela!

ok i'm going back to sleep. there better be some good questions worhy of my attention when i wake up later.

DEAR RR

LJ LIKES OLDER MEN. WTF IS WRONG WITH THAT??!

I WILL START AN ASK MARK C THREAD.

RGDS

YO' MOMMA

dear RR

we had a very pleasant cuppa/walk to station, only hugged her at the end, didn't try anything too overblown.

in july-august she might be quite busy teaching at a summer school (not finalised), and she is going to germany for a year this september (with regular trips back). i shouldn't regard these things as problems, but they'll obviously make a relationship that little bit harder.

as things stand, i really want to try something with her, but if she isn't keen, and there isn't a chance of something happening, i'd like to know, so that i can refrain from devoting so much thought and mental energy to her. her readiness to see me even after my confession probably indicates that she's interested if not yet convinced.

she gets back in the middle of May Week (a week in June where everyone boogies down and parties, and I have to play bass gee-tar). she has an exam at some point then. afterwards we are both free (to most intents and purposes) but only she has cambridge accommodation after about the 28th. it's a difficult situation, but somehow i think it could work out.

basically this isn't really a question, more a dangling hook for your encouragement to fasten onto, but if i do have to ask one thing of you it's whether extreme long-games are worth it. i ask this because your answer will clearly be "yes". i mean there's actually a good chance i won't be able to have regular, settled contact with this woman until halfway through 2010 when she finally gets her doctorate. i will be surrounded by other temptations, other women, throughout.

i've never got with anyone i've genuinely liked ever before; all but once ppl i've kissed let alone slept with have been ppl i've met for the first time that night in a situation of alcohol, and the other one was a dare

and this woman i like more than any other

i see couples all over the place and wonder to myself how the fuck they make it look so fucking easy

if this fails it will hit me hard, especially if it goes on longer

i think i'd better have faith for the next 2 weeks

yrs

lou1s xx

i see couples all over the place and wonder to myself how the fuck they make it look so fucking easy

Some of'em are like, 'Ah for the lackadaisical life of being single,' those kind of remenits all are prone to every once in a ponderous while.

dearest louis,

first of all: a long distance relationship is not difficult at all when you really truly love someone and know that they're the only person in the world you want to be with. jordan and i have been doing this for so long, and ppl have said to me 'how do you manage??: - it's simple: there is absolutely no one else i want to spend the rest of my life with, there's no one else i can even imagine wanting to spend my life with, so whatever it takes is whatever i'll do. you'll be surprised how easy it is. since we made the big commitment to each other i've never once been 'tempted' away because of the circumstances. so keep this is in mind.

but on the other hand: you're only 21. you should be experiencing the whole world of women.

so do what feels right. if you want to make this work, it will, no doubt about it. but if you're not ready for the commitment, that's okay too. and maybe you're just not meant to be together right now. maybe this is just supposed to be a great friendship for the next couple of years, until the stars align themselves in just the right way for you both.

xxRR

ps. long distance relationships have this one huge upside: they force you to communicate everything. i have had some major issues with this is the past, but jordan and i have been in a situation where if we can't talk about stuff then we're fucked, and it's been the best thing ever. it's easy to fall back on the physical side of a relationship - i don't just mean sex, but just hanging with each other instead of actually talking. but when you can't be in the same physical space as your partner, the only closeness you can get is by talking, so you end up discussing a lot of things you may have otherwise avoided for whatever reasons. as a result, i know jordan a thousand times better than my ex who i was with for 3 years, and even better than some of my closest friends.

if you want to make this work, it will, no doubt about it.

thank you :)

i'm actually feeling quite inspired by the idea of a loving, long-distance-y relationship over the next couple of years, absences interspersed with brief and passionate reunions, while all along a great and honest communication prevails. i really, really truly think i could do that. the next 3-4 weeks are crucial to the establishment of something, though. if they go well, then yeah, i'm set. if not, then i'll reapproach my feelings. but i can't see how it can fail, barring her finding someone else, which oughtn't happen (she's not the sort who just does that).

i happen to agree that you're the kind of person who is entirely capable of being in this kind of relationship. but i warn you: while i did say it's 'easy' when you truly love the other person, it will simultaneously cause you some of the most intensely painful moments of your life: after a really really bad at work/with family/whatever, when all you want is to come home and wrap your arms round your partner; when you wake up on a sunday morning and it's freezing cold and raining and you just wish they were curled up next to you; when you have to do something you don't want to do and wish they could come with you because you know they would make the whole thing that much more bearable; when you're sad about something and you want to put your head in their lap and cry your eyes out; every morning when you wake up and they're not there/every night when you go to sleep and they're not there.

the day-to-day sadness of missing them is mitigated by the realisation that you're incredibly lucky to even have this amazing person in your life, and that eventually you'll be together. but there are pretty frequent moments when the intensity of how much you miss them causes actual physical pain.

also to add to that list, the worst thing ever: when your partner is suffering in some way and you can't be there to comfort them. that, for me, has been the worst of it. you will feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest.

Hey rubes,

What's the best way of stopping the back of your watching getting stinky? It was fine for ages, and now it's turned and no matter how clean my arm is it won't stop ponging.

Thanks,
Mark

dear mark,

hmmmm. tough question. also gross. maybe try wiping the back of your watch with meths or something similar. or get the watch professionally cleaned.

xRR

what time is it when you are unable to rid your watch of grossness?

time to get ill

Oh, the watch thing is bicarbonate of soda, i know someone who it happened to.

Thank you! The smell is getting worse, too, it's ridiculous. I guess sweating while on my bike might be to blame?

http://upsidedownhippo.blogspot.com/tmi-front.jpg

ruby,
http://i221.photobucket.com/albums/dd118/embarchie/c82536.jpg?
your friend,

dearest jergz,

that could make for a nice lipstick, if i ever wore lipstick.

<3 u

xRR

rr,

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e217/sng9x/Icon/wink_blockwhite.gif?

thanks,

dear ORGANS,

i'm disturbed that you have been posting to ITR instead of making my body function properly whilst at work this evening.

xRR

dear RR,

how do you stay so cheery?

R

oh ramzi,

i am often not v cheery at all! how do you stay so cheery? you're one of the happiest people i know! i am much more cheery these days (i.e. the last 18months or so) since meeting jordan <3 <3 <3. he makes me happy, what can i say.

xxRR

RR, how goes the organising of the big move?

Also do you plan to continue spelling organising organising or organizing?

///mw

hey rubyredd,
kaori trees are really fucking big. how common are they in nz? have you seen any of the monster ones? if so, what was it like?
a.l.

dear wilter,

the big move is v v stressful but i am still in denial phase of things-i-really-really-need-to-do. i have a bunch of shit to sell - which i HAVE to sell because i need the money - but it is stressing me out. i go to auckland on sunday night for my visa interview. but i am getting v v excited! can't believe it's finally happening!

soon i will have a bike, then you and me and jordan can talk about bikes and how i can't ride without falling off and how ridiculous i look in a dumb helmet :/

xxxRR

dearest lingbert,

i think you mean 'kauri' trees? they really are fucking huge. i guess there are lots, but not so many of the really really enormous ones. kauri gum - amber - used to be/still is a precious material for jewellry. i used to have photos of me hugging a huge kauri, it was probably 4m in diametre. apparently the biggest kauri is in a secret location that the Department of Conservation won't reveal because they are worried someone will vandalise/destroy it. no idea how big it is.

xxxRR

ps. the coolest thing to do is stand at the base of a huge one and stare straight up it's trunk - v v weird feeling of reverse vertigo or something.

oops yeah, i was combining kauri and maori.

the largest officially recognized kauri is Tane Mahuta, but that would be cool if there was a secret even larger one.

they do something kind of like that with the bristlecone pines in california. one of the bristlecone pines in the White Mountains is the oldest known individual tree in the world, but it's not labeled for fear of vandalism.

this is supposedly a huge piece of kauri amber:
http://www.ambermine.com/images/kauri/kauri1cc.jpg

does that seem plausible to you, rubyredd?

also, i am now aware that there were (and are?) people known as gum-diggers.

RR, wtf is that thing that girl is holding

m

http://www.ambermine.com/images/kauri/kauri1e.jpg
You will never find a larger piece of Kauri Gum, nor will you find a better piece of resin for your collection. This is the Granddaddy of all! We will guarantee you that this is as good as we describe it to be.
$3,450
Buy Me

Okay apparently there is gold in them thar New Zealish forests, why are you not taking casual walks with a hatchet every night?

RUBYREDD:

Shall I rename "Ask Chaki!" to "The Church"?

Ask Churki

Ask Chachi

Hey ruby thnx, will search out the book, I meant kiwi as in me, third person nonsense you however are the queenbee of nu ilx.

Lingbert you would LOVE the Kauri Museum, Matakoe.

dearest lingbert,

yes, that does seem like a plausible piece of kauri gum. i used to have a few large chunks that my grandfather gave me. up in the coromandal (near auckland) there is kauri forest and that's where pics of me hugging said kauris were taken. you can also dig big chunks of quartz out of the ground up there. i went through a brief period in my teens of collecting stones and things (lol nerd).

gum-diggers i think made a lot of money back in the days when NZ was first being settled by europeans: it was almost as valuable as gold.

dearest ilx system,

i am all in favour of changing 'ask chaki' to a new name, but why 'the church'? i think it should be given to king boy pato and he can rename it.

dearest kiwi,

yes i knew you were referring to yourself, but it applied to me all the same! i highly recommend anything by carson mccullers: she is beautiful.

<3 you all,
xxxRR

oh god. I thought that kid was holding a bear head.

wait who is kiwi?

kiwi is new zealish and lives in the south island* and is an oldskool ilxor*

*i could be making this up

i went through a brief period in my teens of collecting stones and things

something sweet and good about this

HEY RR,

what was your favorite game show as a child? or did you have one?

your friend,

rubes

do you like apple juice?

xR

ALSO favorite board game. maybe that's what i meant before.

dearest ramzi,

i like apples - but i'm not much of a fan of apple juice.

my lovely jergz,

i need some time to ponder these questions. i'll get back to you later.

xxxRR

ps. THANK YOU LINGBERT FOR BRINGING BELL_LABS BACK TO ITR.

np rr.

rubyredd,
when people refer to you as "rubes" does it immediately make you think "rubic hair"?

yrs,
a.l.

dearest lingbert,

no, that had never occurred to me before. but it surely will now.

xxxRR

ok jergz, i've put a lot of thought into answering your questions.

i don't think i had a favourite gameshow - we don't have too many of those here in nz, but i enjoyed wheel of fortune when i was v v little.

favourite board game when i was small: labyrinth. we had it at my primary school, and it involved moving cardboard pieces round on a square board (like a jigsaw) to get gemstones and things. that's all i can remember about it, but i loved the shit out of it and used to play it every lunchtime for ages.

my other favourite board game was 'the game of life', where you had a little car and a spouse and you collected kids and got jobs and lost jobs and bought houses and stuff.

what were your favourites?

Game of Life rules.

n1 rr.

okay this is no doubt a repeat, but when are you arriving on these shores?

in 28 days! well, 28.5 days

ONLY FOUR WEEKS!!!! WAU

spiffy

speaking of spiffy, will you wear your hair in plaits sometime in the near future?

YES.

altho i'm sure ITR doesn't need to know about your kinks.

of course we do

well, let me tell you.........

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH TRICKED YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my kinks? you leave the chipmunks, jars of peanut butter, hot curling irons, dead fish, toenail polish, and rubber mallets out of this!!!

i like peanut butter (chunky)

nobody can beat the photo of bedsheets soaked in barbecue sauce

though I really ought not to bring that up

i have to go to work now but i'll come back later and tell you all about jordan's kinks once he's asleep

risk. tic tac dough.

will you wear your hair in plaits sometime in the near future?

ytth otm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polish_plait

jergins that is gross and my plaits do not look like that

dear rubyredd (and mark c):

:)

yrs

a very very happy lj

ok PM me via facebook immediately with details!!

i need to know!!!

:) :) :) :) :) :)

(:(:(:(:(:(:

dearuby,

THERE ARE BUKOWSKI HOOKUPS?!?!?

love

sunny

YES

so here's teh story:

i was having a summer fling with this dude and we were talking books and said 'you should try bukowski, i think you'd like his stuff'. so i did, fell in love, googled for info and the first hit was a website dedicated to teh author. i signed up. coincidentally, jordan joined 3 days later (even tho he had been a fan for many years). 3 months go by, both of posting to the forum but never crossing paths. one day some crazy dude on myspace starts sending me neo nazi weirdo emails. they were pretty funny so i reposted them to a general discussion board on the bukowski forum. some of the emails had to do with contemporary artists i like who are supposedly neo nazi. so jordan responded, we got talking about art, he recommended me a bunch of way cool artists, we became myspazz friends, were pretty much best friends within about two weeks.

we still post regularly to the buk forum and have a good group of friends there who all know our situation and have been awesome about it. jordan has actually met some of them in person, and one of the guys who is a letterpress printer has invited us to come visit for a weekend and print with him. the dudes (and they are mostly dudes - so excellent chance of scoring a hubby since the competition is slim ;)) over there are mostly are a very cool bunch.

so in short: thank you bukowski and white supremacists, for hooking me up with my other half.

awww

awww

you know what's funny? over on the bukowski forum there are a lot of old guys who aren't really 'internet people', and they've all been totally nonjudgmental about our 'thing'. but here on ilx, when i initially revealed that i'd met jordan on the internet way back, i got quite a bit of shit (admittedly, it was right round the time of lunagate).

also, people on ilx like to give people shit

have you met jordan irl rr? also HOW MANY DAZE

no i have not... which is what freaks people out.

less than 9 days to go!

Wow, that's kind of a cool story, actually. Also, I've run into several couples who met on the internets, and it seems like it has worked out for them.

(Also, in case you're curious, I met my husband because I was his R.A. at college. Ha!)

yeah, a lot of ppl have told me they know loads of couples who met on the net. just not that many who have known each other for 15 months on the net without meeting, and one of them is moving their whole life round the other side of the world...

but to go visit for a holiday first would have meant postponing a permanent move by months, and since i already know jordan's the one for me it seemed pointless to waste anymore time being together.

sometimes you just know it's right, and this is the one and only time i've ever been 100% sure about something in my whole life.

"sometimes you just know" = totally OTM

I suspect people thought we were a little nuts to get engaged after only dating for a few months, but jokes on them since I obviously have the most awesome husband in the world and have for almost 13 years.

So yeah, who cares what other people think? It's YOUR life, and I think it's pretty cool. Jordan is very lucky!

thanks sara! i consider myself the lucky one, actually. like you with A, i happen to think jordan is truly the most awesome and amazing person i've ever met.

we thought this was funny: a good friend of jordan's was all 'but you don't even KNOW each other'.... oh of course we don't know each other - the first 6 months were daily emails, hours of IM-ing, weekly phone calls, then the last 9 months have been hours of skype w/ webcam every day... yeah, we TOTALLY don't know each other at all.

That would be an awesome story to tell your grandkids, if you were ever to have any.

grandkids be all like what the hell is instant messenger is that like CDs

"nobody calls it 'e-mail' anymore GRANDMA"

jordan's parents have been awesome and understanding about our situation: they were penpals for ages before they met in person, and the first time they spent any decent amount of time together was their honeymoon. and they've been happily married for more than 30 years.

That's so cool about his parents. Wow.

xp Yes, it is going to be exactly like that. My five year old had to show me how to use the TiVo remote.

rubyredd, will you stop paying all your attention to your ILX AIM chatz and show me some attention, please?

hi ruby, i just sent you email, can you let me know if you didn't get it, it was acting weird. or you might have got it twice.

get on chatz estela!!

i would need a tutorial first, i am a bit hopeless.

i am hopelesser and it is easy :)

estela i have been sent by forces greater than i can describe to woo you to ilx chatz on aim

no i did not get yr email because webmail has been fucked for some time. email me at:

justine at guerillapoetics dot org

ok estela i did get your email, is just ended up in my spam. i have replied!! i am excited!!

:D

did estela kidnap you? where are you?

rube was estela sort of prim & proper veneer barely concealing vicious cobrasnake interior type? be honest.

estela is beautiful and gorgeous, and extremely vivacious. i actually expected her to be more... reserved? but she's so relaxed and chatty and giggly - i haven't seen someone laugh so much in a long time (maybe i am just extraordinarily funny??).

i also found out LOTS of secret and mysterious things about our estela, including her real name, which is... wait for it... BETTY SUE BANGERMAN. SERIOUSLY.

daaaamn & i was gonna name my first girlchild estela

betty bangerman isnt nearly as attractive to me, as a parent

If I were going to have another baby, I would totally consider Betty Bangerman.

For a name, I mean.

no no it's BETTY SUE

"Betty Sue" = definitely in my top five name choices now.

bs

i am quite inconsolable that babynuts isn't going to be called estela after all.

"bs" = kind of awesome initials, really

anything has got to be better than 'babynuts'

It sounds true, but I fear that it is, actually, possible to come up with worse.

Hey rubes,

Do you like flying? Do you like airline food? Do you ever take photos out of the plane windows? Does the mile high club appeal? Do you like airports? Duty Free - C/D?

Yours flightily,
Mx

dear mark,

i haven't been on all that many planes, and never any long distance flights. i like airline food, i doubt i will take photos out the window, and the mile high club does not appeal. airports are scary and i get confused very easily. duty free isn't all that big a deal.

xxxRR

WHATCHA DOIN IN CHICAGO MY DEAR

she is MEET THE PARENTSing

O M G

they are going to love her, she is a darling.

just saw this thread! i met the whole family on friday: two brothers, brother's wife, niece, mum, dad, two aunties and an uncle. very nerve wracking and rather stressful since i'm not good in large groups. but successful!

ruby, i'm afraid i have some terrible news, i just read this in the nz herald.

Iconic New Zealand lolly Snifters has been axed because of lack of consumer demand.

Cadbury Schweppes, which owns the Pascall brand, have also chopped Sparkles and Tangy Fruit lollies.

A Cadbury Schweppes spokesman said over the years the sales of Snifters, Sparkles and Tangy Fruit had "decreased significantly".

Eskimos are safe then.

it's cuz she left nz

yes, now ruby isn't there to wolf them down the snifters market has collapsed.

I like snifters as a word. It is rendolent of the beauties of alcohol quaffing just shy of abuse, too-formal white-tie setups, and committing crimes (Victorian-era variety) with your schoolmates at the old boys reunion.

i'm not judging you, ned, but reminiscences about committing victorian-era variety crimes with your school chums at the old boys' reunion might be best saved for iltmi.

i heard about this!! my mum emailed me to tell me the bad news. it seems jordan got the last bags available in taranaki.

how jilted should i feel

snifters, for god's sake

i SWEAR TO GOD i am going to find you new zealish lollies/choc etc to send to you guys... i feel so bad we (but mostly jordan) ate all the lollies i brought over with me!

What is this world coming to when candies with names like "snifters" no longer exist? It is so terrible and sad.

xp Don't worry; I am still meaning to send YOU something, but I have become painfully buried in this insane class and fear I may never emerge to do things like shopping and going to the post office.

reminiscences about committing victorian-era variety crimes with your school chums at the old boys' reunion might be best saved for iltmi

Who do you think I am, Momus?

perchance, chappy

I was a Maoist reserve assistant
For the library industry

dewey-eyed reminiscences

It was a moist time.