THIS IS HSTNGS WE DO WHAT WE LIKE (SOMETIMES KILL WAHT WE EAT TOO) - HSTNGS COMPAINION THRD PART: !!

hstngs related news allowed, also drunken confessions. all life info should be directed to the lingert modification thread or will be subject to modflogging.

http://quimby.gnus.org/circus/jukebox.php?image=sleeve.jpg&group=Talking%20Heads&album=Stop%20Making%20Sense

I could use some drunken confessions, guys. Get to work.

Also, HSTNGS NEWS = it is my little sister's birthday tomorrow.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY H34THER

I just found out one of the guys I sing with at church sang with N1ck M4lm in college! wau

Hi dere scary small world!

I'm pretty sure I traumatized N1ck at a birthday party for M3liss4 a few years ago. I mentioned Great Expectations to him, and you know what that does to survivors.

Also I will pass on your happy birthday wishes. I hope she at least gets a break from the kids for part of the day...

hahaha poor all of us GE survivors

I only suffer the PTSD symptoms when I hear harpsichord music.

Okay, it turns out my clinical instructors is a public health nurse - one of her areas is HSTNGS. Report from her: "lots of alcohol and meth." Also: "it seems like people there either go to college and move away or stay there and have babies when they are 18." That about sums it up, huh. Well, except for the crazy/creative teenage death toll, of course.

Okay, is it the HSTNGS in me that caused me to read the most recent part of the rolling disgruntled shootings thread and then wind up roffling at John and Dan duking it out in an argument? (Especially this: BRISTLY JOHN IS EXTRA-BRISTLY)

Vote early. Vote often. I will give $10 to the person with the most "I Voted" stickers at the end of the day.

FB, I am truly hoping to come out of this tonight owing you a drink.

(it seems like about 1 billion years ago that I made that offer, but now we finally are HERE!)

So I wanna know who has the most HHS Facebook connections? And, as a bonus, who has the most MALE HHS Facebook connections?

So is this our cue to go count then? (And why the interest in the MALE ones, anyway?)

Okay, I have a total of 21 HHS Facebook connections (margin of error probably +/- 1 because I'm tired and could have missed someone). Six of them are male.

And don't think I don't know that you will have a vast number more, Daniel.

I've been relatively passive in pursuing HHS connections. I assume Dan is focusing on male connections because they are more rare and less active. That, or Dan is trying to prove is more of a beefcake heart-throb than John or I.

HHS STUDS: GOTTA CATCH "EM ALL

You are all beefcake heart-throbs.

ARE YOU GUYS HAPPY NOW?!

No. Actually, I'm nauseated.

Sorry, bro. I meant it in a totally platonic, objective way.

It's the term "beefcake". It's my own fault, really.

I am flattered, Sara, and I think you protest too much. YOU HAVE A FAMILY THAT LOVES YOU

I will not break that up.

I was just leafing through various contacts and realizing that most everyone on Facebook who is in their 30s has a vagina. I am trying to gather emprical evidence to support this thesis.

btw as a total aside, I was pretty surprised by how happy I was to see that T0ny Kr1z4n is dating a black woman

xp FB is rejecting me again. WHEN WILL THE PAIN END?!

Dan, I think that what you mean is that most FB HHS people do not have penises. I'm not totally sure you can posit "most of them have vaginas" without further research. Research that would likely get you in deep trouble with J031.

Why don't I know who T0ny Kr1z4n is?

He was my class, kind of nondescript but pretty sarcastic; I never really ever spent any time hanging out with him outside of school but enjoyed time spent during lunch or in the hallways making fun of easy targets like Ch3r1 Br4b3c.

I feel somewhat sad that I have no idea who the people Dan is talking about are/were, but at the same time, I also have to recognize that Dan knew every freaking person in the entire school through the magic of being in every single activity.

Dan did not sleep during high school.

(Everyone else here did, at least napping in the theater dept. corridor when Ms. 0 wasn't looking.)

Do not underestimate the "being black" phenomenon at work here. It really isn't so much that I knew everyone as it is that everyone knew me! (Also you had a large segment of friends who I barely interacted with, particularly the ones who were older than you.)

Well, yeah, it would have helped to be The Only Black Kid In School (TM) (and yeah, I know there were two others!). I guess my efforts to be different by not hairspraying my bangs a foot above my face was just not the same. ;)

As for my older friends, that definitely went along with Dating The Older Guy Who Was In College, Starting in Tenth Grade. Which now seems just slightly creepy in retrospect, but at the time was a total non-issue. (I really want to go back in time and make you interact with those guys, though, for the LOLZ.)

Wait, I thought I was the only black in school...OMG I HAVE BEEN LIVING A LIE

Don't worry, FB, I was counting you in the "two others."

Now go take a nap, okay then?

Randomly ended up at party with HHS kid from ilx. You know, the med student. Don't know what he posts under these days.

gbx

I'm picturing FB randomly wandering from party to party until he found another ilxor. And believing in it!

hey by the way, the show "K9" on animal planet is based entirely in STPL. the vast majority of the action is in my old hood in East St. Paul.

^^^ Trying to figure out if John, or possibly one (or more?!) of his belated pets, is a major character on this show.

Would watch if Larry was one of the stars.

my favorite part was when the cop with one of the dogs referred to the area as "the meth part of town" while standing in front of the building accross the street from the apt that FB, subgenius and i all lived in.

I must be tired, because I am finding that completely adorable.

"You young kids and your meth-filled neighborhoods..."

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/20/us/politics/20minnesota.html?_r=1&emc=eta1

YOU GUYS, WAU

WE RISING LIKE A PHOENIX ON A ROCKETSHIP TO THE STARS OF THE MEDIA GALAXY

I GUESS WE SHOULD ALL MOVE BACK AND BASK IN THE FAME

wait, no

HSATNGS AMERICA # 1

i hope that this sudden upsurge in hstngs related interest does not disrupt our sacrosanct cultural heritage

I'm sure teens will still be shooting each other/their parents in the face for years to come

i still long for the old school hatchet murder days myself

oh shit a hatchet murder

I forgot about that but I still sort of remember it...? What happened (beyond "someone caught a hatchet")?

(there is a certain poignancy to the fact that i am sure that nonhstngs types think that we are making a lot of this up)

some kid killed his parents with a hatchet, i think we were in 9th grade at the time.

Was he older than us? I can't place this at all! (prob too busy not being in a poetry suicide pact)

okay am I misremembering or did St44f0rd Gl4sh3n get molested when we were in 7th grade, because I remember that

It is sometimes hard for me to reconcile the full-on boring nature of HSTNGS with the abnormally large per capita number of deaths/murders/assaults/accidents/serious injuries.

Remember when our star pitcher lost half his hand in a wood chipper?

This all brings tears to my eyes. (Of joy, I think.)

Pretty certain the tears involved in each of these incidents weren't of joy.

yeah the hatchet kid was chuck something i think, he was older than us by a few years, maybe a dropout?

what this means of course is that HSTNGS KNOW HOW TO PARTY YO

how unlikely that the kid who chopped up his parents dropped out of high school, I mean what are the odd

thread title edit fun

ha I just got a txt from my dad that said "I ran into a classmate of yours named K41t13 L1v1ngst0n at Subway and she says hi"

sometimes it is hard to resist the inevitable subway-related joke, but in this case i will try

haha I almost made the same joke but no, she was also a customer

xxxxpost yes, poor St4ff0rd. Also pistol-whipped. M1k3 D0nnd3ling3r reminded me of this. Apparently someone from our class had the pleasure of refusing to let the perpetrator live in a building he now owns.

I got a really weird thing in the mail about HSTNGS apparently trying to create HHS directories for grads. Anyone else get this odd piece of mail? (Should I really call their 1-800 number in the next 10 days to update them on my exciting adventures since graduation?!)

oh hey dudes

FB is correct, we were at a party together.....where we elected the president!

Good work, HSTNGS grads. :)

Sara, I just got the same odd piece of mail today! I plan to call and tell them I'm a spy.

they don't know where i live woooooot wooot yeah!

i prefer that no school can track me down ever.

and i don't even owe them any money

Now I want to call up pretending to be John and explain how I'm a popular stripper and gigolo in Reno. I just don't see how I can manage the baritone voice, sadly.

xp We all know you're a spy already, deX.

ATTN JOHN

The following people have popped up on Facebook:

Ry4n R01g3r
D4v3 Zw3b3r
4ng13 L13tz4u
M3l0dy S0bcz4ck
Sc0tt "lol I now look like Tom Cruise" M0st

Sc0tt is way more adorable than Tom Cruise. Not that that's a hard bar to climb; I'm just sayin'.

I read his last name as 'moist' first.

You would not be the first to do this thing.

He somehow avoided that as a nickname in h.s., so far as I know.

Okay I'm lolling at the Facebook group entitled "Hastings High School Could Kick Your High School in the Face!!"

Especially because the subtitle should probably be something like "Only the Beginning of What We'll Do To You If You Drop By."

haha that made me lol, too

T1m J3sk3 just friended me o_O

I don't even know who that is?!

Dan, I require your random-c.d. buying advice for A.'s Xmas stocking again this year. Anything new and different but not toooooo weird that he might like?

MSTRKRFT (The Looks) and Modeselektor (Hello Mom! and Happy Birthday) are the way to go here. I don't know how he feels about proggy rock instrumentals but you might also want to investigate Mirrored by Battles. Also look for ex-Moloko singer Roisin Murphy's Ruby Blue.

(none of those are new this year, though; if you are looking for something from this year, I say SANTOGOLD SANTOGOLD SANTOGOLD with a side helping of Erykah Badu)

i will endorse all of these choices. except that i haven't heard the Modeselektor stuff. the other three are great great great.

xpost dan i do not like the santogold ;_;

waht

Is it her voice? That was a barrier for me until I saw the "L.E.S. Artiste" video, which basically is completely demented and made me forget the irritating rasp in a lot of her singing.

Also YOU MUST HEAR MODESELEKTOR, THEY ARE FUCKING AWESOME

Thanks for the help, guys! (doesn't matter if it's from this year or not; just trying to continue my new-a-couple-years-ago tradition of having Santa deliver a "wtf... wait, this is great" music surprise.

yes, it is the voice, i will investigate this les artiste video and report back xpost

btw, I was just about to post "awwwww, seeing you two argue about music warms my heart" - when Firefox crashed. My computer may feel differently!

i would add ulver "Shadows of the Sun" if you want something sort of sparse and orchestrated and beautiful. DO NOT BUY A DIFFERENT ULVER ALBUM WITHOUT CONSULTING ME FIRST. they have had a brilliant, but somewhat "eclectic" career.

Also, she sounds completely different on "Lights Out" compared to most of her other songs.

Oh, and my brother did a show with her in NYC when she was with that punk band.

(her cousin is one of his NYC friends, apparently)

ah fuck i got that goddamn thing from hstngs in the mail today.

GOODNBYE ANONYNMINTY I HARDLEY KNEW U

To be fair, you kind of don't look that different and your name is the same, so...

xp Also thanks v. much for more music help. Making a list!

I still have not called that number to tell them about my life as a stripper/assassin. xp

Die Warzau also released an album this year where they rerecorded a bunch of songs from throughout their career as if they were newly released. Some work pretty well, others... don't, at least not if you're familiar with the originals. (I was actively angry at what they did to "All Good Girls" and "Funkopolis".)

xp: When you call them, they will attempt to coerce you to buy the book. It costs $80.

I don't think I've heard the phrase "Die Warzau" since about 1993!!!

It might be worth the $80 if we could persuade them that John is a Mafia don.

ahahahahaha so this is yet another spin on the who's who in high school academia scam? AWESOME

Who's Who in Wait High School Academia Was A Long Time Ago Scam

also, shouldn't you have thought of this first, Mr. Mafia? I believe they are IN YOUR TERRITORY

(for those wondering, I didn't buy the book)

i would buy the book if i knew that there were more people in our high school that were FANTASTIC AND ENTERTAINING LIARS

or if we all got to write someone elses entry

This is making me wonder of Br14n K1mm3s is going to come out about being a furry in it.

It kind of seems to me like computer-based social networking has replaced even the minimal need for such a book. (Then again, some of the generations before us might still be computer phobic, so maybe they'd find it useful.)

John gets to write Kr1st1n H0ffm4n's entry.

Dan - hahaha, good question!

i mean, making FB IS A FURRY official would be worth $80 to me.

"When not tending to his extensive herbal garden, [NAME REDACTED] enjoys helming the merchandising wing of Best Animal Pals, LLC, which specializes in harnesses and restraining methods for animals of all sizes and shapes (not to exceed 350 pounds)."

hahaha xpost to BK reference

biddies in the BK lounge
all they do is beg and they scrounge

hahaha Dan

Also, "not to exceed 350 pounds" is going to upset that crazy scientist dude I saw on The Daily Show who wants to re-create woolly mammoths from their DNA...

looooooooool I just found a Facebook group called "the group of JARL"

I'm thinking there's no relation to the beloved (or not) calc teacher that McGuIr3 and I spent a whole year tormenting. Sadly.

I'm thinking you are totally RONG in your thinking

hahaha WAHT?!

(I'm supposed to be doing l&d prep or writing a giant paper, but noooooo, back to Facebook to investigate!)

lol, he looks so cute with grey hair!

There is now a Facebook group devoted to "fans of Emily's Bakery" (yes, the one in Midtown).

I've had some good cookies and doughnuts there, but seriously, FANS?

(To be fair, I'd join a group devoted to fans of the bakery in Cannon Falls in a second.)

GUYS KYL3 IS ON FACEBOOK NOW

YAAAAAY!

I insist that we all refer to him as "Captain Pip Von Trapp."

Joei calls him "Kiki" on our wedding photo!

I saw that, and was only mildly baffled. (Even if I don't get it, I still like it!)

Also, Facebook suggested that I friend C0r3y B1rkh0lz today!

I have had that suggestion before!

R1ndy G4hnz suggested I friend P4t 3st3ns0n. I tried, in a moment of pure insanity. I hope he doesn't accept.

so do u guys know jeff taffe?

no, am too old ;_;

also do not know craig kilbourn because too young :)

Same here. Although I'm also apparently too old to know who Jeff Taffe is. ;_;

Craig Kilborn has been to my house ^_^

did he need a place to crash while he was "in between projects"?

This just makes me think that Dan's family is secretly filming an early-evening sitcom that we haven't heard about yet. Sounds like they are getting mildly interesting guest stars...

He was on the track team with my oldest brother and a bunch of them came over after practice one day. I don't remember him at all because I was 8 (also my other brother had a friend on the track team who was an albino and that was way more awesome than being a smarmy, self-satisfied smug machine).

I can see how an 8 year old would be like, OMG an ALBINO!

(Maybe this is only because I was overexposed to the movie Foul Play as a child, though.)

you guys, I am friending like every single fucking person we were in high school with

today I became friends with J4YN4 H0W4RD

i have no idea how to respond to that.

you are like a one man outreach program.

Can you guys see my "high school" friend list? It's kind of ridiculous!

Dan = friends with EVERYONE EVER

You know, if Dan isn't careful, this is somehow going to lead to him coordinating future all-class reunions. (If this were made into a sitcom similar to "Welcome Back, Kotter," I would totally watch, btw).

If you had told me 12 months ago that my Facebook friends would include the following people, I would have thought you were crazy:

T0ny Kr1z4n
4my K0ch3nd0rf3r
4ng13 L13tz4u
J0sh D13t3r1chs
J4s0n K44s
Br3nd4 B4u3r
M1ssy W4lsh
T1m J3sk3
V3rna S3l3sk1
M1ssy Ulbr1ch

Okay, I looked at your page and was like, "502 friends, omg that is CRAZY." That list is baffling me... how could there be so many people who went to our high school that I've never even HEARD OF?!

I await your glorious and successful 2016 Presidential run. Good lord.

OH and I sent a friend request to 4ng13 M4cD0w3ll!

Sara: There were over 300 ppl in our graduating classes! Of course some names/faces will be fuzzy.

Oh, I suppose you're right and it's not just my memory dimming painfully...

new username posted for your pleasure

I just keep letting random people find me. (Scarily, they do.)

lolololololololololol John

I also broke down and friended B1ll D0rfn3r and Bruc3 K4rn1ck. I think it's too late for me...

hahaha, John. btw, did I miss the article in the Pioneer Press or is that still forthcoming?

Ned probably has a friends list of one billion...

xp For me, the weird one has got to be P4t 3st3nson...

Wait, is B1ll D0rfn3r the unfortunate person who happened to be in the Keys at the same time as I was in 1990? I think I stepped out of the shower and into the hotel room and there he was. Luckily I at least had a towel on.

For me, the weird one has got to be P4t 3st3nson...

I first read that as 'Pat Snotson,' and was sad when I realized it wasn't.

(nope, it was a different "B1ll." thx ridiculous habit of making lists of embarrassing moments and then keeping them for 20 years...)

Ned, that would be so perfect, though!

the pioneer press article didn't happen because they had to change to a different heart valve due to a dumb FDA related issue that should have been resolved before surgery if they had been capable but whatever, it all worked fine.

Well, I think that's good news then, overall. Yay!

Also, hope yr Dad's recovering well, not in any pain, etc. etc.

oh yeah, hes all good.

also, i think that this new username is just another method of googlebombing my name into the levels of horrifying ridiculousness that protect me from all available interpretation.

Sometimes I have trouble parsing John-ese.

here let me text something to your landline

You know A. will just get the message and immediately go, "yeah, another one of Sara's high school friends..."

I insist that one of you explains to me where J4m3y 4nd3rs0n found the fountain of youth. ffs, he still looks 20!

If he looks 20 now, that means he's aged about 15 years since I last saw him in 1990!

whiskey keeps you young

concentrates all that aging stuff in the liver area, which is invisible and therefore doesnt count

HSTNGS RELATED NEWS: I AM PROBABLY MOVING TO HSTNGS

wellness tips pls

bahahahahahaaaaaa

kg and i need to split a commute when i go back to school so it's either here or prescott i think. looking like hstings.

ok i will say for sure that hstngs is a much better choice than prescott

yes HSTNGS > Prescott

my main wellness tip would be "get used to driving to the Cities for fun"

btw out of curiosity, what are the endpoints you are splitting?

kg works in minnetonka so quite generously she's giving me the shorter of the commutes.

we drove around looking for for-rent signs after orientation and saw zero for-rent signs. multiple head-craning stares as we drove around various neighborhoods though. this will be awesome.

oh and i'll be going to red wing.

hmm, so. are there certain places to eat / not eat? particular apartment complexes to avoid? we're primarily scouting for a house to rent but yknow, $$$$$. i imagine you guys are maybe too far removed by now for some of this info. i feel like i had about four or five other questions before i actually bumped this thread. hmm.

my understanding is that The Green Mill is good; I've never eaten at that location

basically everything you need to know about going out HSTNGS: they closed the one Starbucks that used to be there

man.

the restaurants in town my parents liked to go to all closed down; I think there's actually better eating in Prescott now (but... don't live in Prescott)

yeah, i think this is going to be a little bump in our lives where it's like, okay, just buckle down and focus on school, and really just develop an inward existence together and be able to look forward to any punctuations like travel on spare weekends or whatever.

downtown St Paul is 30 minutes outside of town

yeah, we'll be getting out when we can and i still don't really know how this is all going to play out once the ball is up and rolling for real. i keep imagining the worst between driving back and forth from school and a town where i know no one, and working weekends on top of that, and just being to tired or broke or busy to make the trek to the cities the rest of the time. it's gonna be alright though.

one positive is that the theater and music departments at the high school are surprisingly strong, so there is some town-centric entertainment that should be better than you would expect

oh, there's also a place in Prescott called The Hit-n-Run that is run by a classmate of jjj and I, we were supposed to go there but apparently we are now old and responsible

ok, seriously, I had a last lunch w D34n today (before he goes to NY for his residency) and literally said, "Hastings is the Derry, Maine of Minnesota" to him - and he laughed knowingly.

arby's - um... you'll be ok! The Green Mill is decent (and my friend T0dd tends bar and waits tables there). I often grab Panera Bread there bc Northfield doesn't have that. I believe there's a new restaurant in town and have heard mixed reviews. I can recommend a good hairstylist who works out of her home - cut and color is only about $60. Nice lady, too.

I still have family there and occasionally visit the town, altho I try to not do so.

My best suggestion is to find a way to visit John and FB in the Cities, tbh! But if I think of other stuff, I will post. :)

re: rental properties, i think the tenor of the town is such that there arent going to be a lot of yard signs, i would say check in the local paper

okay, I just read through this thread and enjoyed it immensely. At least I think the tears were tears of hysterical joy and cynicism. Ah, HSTNGS, so many beautiful/disturbing memories.

So glad this thread was revived. And I hope we will all use it well to help arby's and his loved one/s safe and alive.

And maybe to make some more joeks, of course...

i am made us a new thread: SO U MOVING TO HSTNGS! PACK A AMPULE OF ANTIVENOM AND A SOCK FULL OF QUARTERS