Hey, fucking douchebage "elitist" (you're scum) assholes, are there any PREVIOUS threads which list performances and other reasons why people might actually LIKE the band PHISH????

Moments when you enjoy Phish

What? Hurting 2, I am going to have to hurt you, too.

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpower.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpower.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpower.jpg

bage... like Peter Bagge minus one g, I guess...

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpower.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpower.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpower.jpg

o

I've come a long way since that one job where I told the boss to fuck off and stormed out with the unfortunate realization I needed to find a new job and fast! Yesterday, I basically got to tell a pain in the ass long-term freelance client I wasn't interested in their project after they attempted to strongarm me and manipulate me into to dismantling a standard contract. Like I just fell off the turnip truck. They wanted to hold all the cards and now they have nobody to play peanuckle with. Now I'm getting tons of emails and phone calls, "Please we want to work with you like we have in the past." Yeah, I know, dipshits, but I want to work like I outlined in the contract. :-)

It was very satisfying to watch them go through all the emotions while I just calmly and politely told them I was no longer interested in the project.

So, what are some good "my employer came groveling and I told him to go blow" stories?

Or, what are your experiences with contracts and conniving business people with no conscience and no shame?

Or, what age did you decide you'd eaten enough shit to last you a lifetime and weren't going to eat any more?

Or, how do you deal with peckerheads? (I enjoy the technique of showing no emotion and just remaining professional.)

-- dean ge, Thursday, July 19, 2007 10:45 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpower.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpower.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpower.jpg

HEY!

xp: please, stop with the showing how much you suck ass in pictures routine.

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpower.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpower.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpower.jpg



OK

BORING. SUB-PAR.
BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.BORING. SUB-PAR.

I have one really good reason to call Frank Zappa a genius!

You've heard all sorts of justification for his existence and you're bored to death of it. And you remain unconvinced (let's say).

But, let me just point out that he's about the only guy who would "hide" his most complex and inspiring work in an album of the SAME NAME, no less, with 5 measly other songs of almost pure filler CRAP... AND have it be his biggest top 40 hit... but NOT for the most complex and inspiring song he ever wrote-- NO! For a stupid song he barely wrote! A dumb song where his daughter does a Valley Girl impression. I'm talking about "Ship Arriving Too Late To Save A Drowning Witch."

Smoke a big fat one and listen to the title track, if you haven't already. The following song "Envelopes" is a killer, too. Ah hell, if you're enjoying that, Teenage Prostitute doesn't make a bad closer. Okay, the last half is pretty good. But, as a 30-minute full-price album, there is really only one justification for the album in most fans' eyes and that is the title track.

-- dean ge, Friday, July 27, 2007 12:22 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

scotty, I'm sure you care about the "my boss" story. That's nice. But, also, you're a little dirty mushroom penis, aren't you? Yes, you are! ;-)

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpower-1.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpower.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpower-1.jpg

TESTING

oh wow you've listed it TWICE now, haven't you, scotty the incredible metal faggot? what are you trying to accomplish, my incredibly douchey friend? What?!?!?!

BORING. SUB-PAR.

Oh? Okay. Assworms.

what are you trying to accomplish, my incredibly douchey friend? What?!?!?!

All's I'm sayin' is whatever. Now we got the authentic shit, not the fake shit. Who's going to drink it?

-- dean ge, Thursday, 26 July 2007 14:39 (1 week ago) Link

Assworms

where can i get some of that lsd stuff you speak of?

-- dean ge, Thursday, 26 July 2007 17:17 (1 week ago) Link

I like this. It reminds me of "hop on pop" but with retards.

how weird that it's a goth thing. When I think of all the goths I've known my whole life, they seem mostly to be weird sober people who are unsure of their sexuality. But, then, I never did get to know them very well. I never saw them drunk or drinking, but they probably do that in the dark homemade parlor.

-- dean ge, Thursday, 26 July 2007 18:08 (1 week ago) Link

faddish teens are getting all numb and then what?

-- dean ge, Thursday, 26 July 2007 18:19 (1 week ago) Link

http://wika.webtechplanet.com/police_usa/california/ca_banning.jpg

oh my goodness! it's everything i've ever said in my entire life come back to haunt me! I'm so startled!

It was very satisfying to watch them go through all the emotions while I just calmly and politely told them I was no longer interested in the project.

Or, what age did you decide you'd eaten enough shit to last you a lifetime and weren't going to eat any more?

Or, how do you deal with peckerheads? (I enjoy the technique of showing no emotion and just remaining professional.)

-- dean ge, Thursday, July 19, 2007 10:45 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

i mean, it really means SOMETHING, amirite?!?!?!?!?!?

hiiiiiiiiiiiiii

http://book.banning.ca/index_files/BanningCover.jpg
http://book.banning.ca/index_files/BanningCover.jpg
http://book.banning.ca/index_files/BanningCover.jpg

wowzers, you really told me 'what for' by spitting my own words (that mean nothing to me) in my face again-- HOLEE SHIT. GOOD JOB, ASSHOLE.

Let's resume this discussion no sooner than Jan. 1, 2010 and no later than December 31, 2010.

-- dean ge, Saturday, June 30, 2007 1:00 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

Dp you realize yet that banning does not work? Or no?

You're still too stupid to quite "get that?"

Because... you know... I've never left since the very first day of ILX...

http://www.videogamecritic.net/images/7800/meltdown.png

have a similar feeling, but I think it's due to the bootlegs. I've just about worn out ALL of my jammy type music at the moment thanks to bootlegs. That's why when I dug out this old one, I said, "Ah! Now, that's what I liked about Phish!"

Bootlegs are sort of a mixed blessing. You get to hear much different and many different versions of any song, but you end up hearing the songs way more times than you would if you just had one album. The other day, I was checking out 4 different low-priced Dick's Picks and sadly realized that I had thoroughly mined what once seem like inexhaustible riches.

-- dean ge, Wednesday, June 20, 2007 2:40 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

oh wow... scary

But, seriously, I hadn't heard of it before randomly coming across it just now. Doesn't it seem more important than Paris Hilton?

-- dean ge, Saturday, June 30, 2007 1:04 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

As an aside, though I don't know what you're talking about, I have a feeling the Trilateral Commission and the CFR could get together and gangbang young boys on live television and people would say it was invented by some kooks, probably the same ones who rigged the alien autopsy video.

-- dean ge, Saturday, June 30, 2007 6:52 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

I feel exactly the same way. They should've become a bigger spectacle as they went along, not less. I am a big fan of horns in rock music.

-- dean ge, Wednesday, June 20, 2007 2:56 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/brt.jpg

I am a big fan of horns in rock music.

I am a big fan of horns in rock

I am a big fan of horns in

Dp you realize yet that banning does not work? Or no?

You're still too stupid to quite "get that?"

Because... you know... I've never left since the very first day of ILX...

-- dean ge, Friday, August 3, 2007 2:01 AM (30 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Why do you enjoy inflicting pain on yourself?

I am a big fan of horns

Heh, well, my fellow incredible shrinking egotistical douchebags, it's time for me to take a nap. Don't really know or care what the point was of your various entertaining images, but feel FREE to get in touch... gonna smoke a fatty and enjoy some PHISH now...

You guys don't want to talk about these loosely strewn together ideas. I get it.

-- dean ge, Saturday, June 30, 2007 9:13 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

I am a big fan of

I am a big fan

I am a big

I am a

I am

I

is he gone?

Psychology

Boredom has been defined by Fisher in terms of its central psychological processes: “an unpleasant, transient affective state in which the individual feels a pervasive lack of interest in and difficulty concentrating on the current activity” [1]. Leary and others define boredom similarly, and somewhat more succinctly, as “an affective experience associated with cognitive attentional processes” [2]. These definitions make it clear that boredom arises not for a lack of things to do but the inability to latch onto any specific activity. Nothing engages us, despite an often profound desire for engagement.
There appear to be three general types of boredom; all of which involve problems of engagement of attention. These include times when we are prevented from engaging in something, when we are forced to engage in some unwanted activity or when we are simply unable, for no apparent reason, to maintain engagement in any activity or spectacle[3]. oops
An important psychological construct is that of boredom proneness; a tendency to experience boredom of all types. This is typically assessed by the Boredom Proneness Scale [4]. link Consistent with the definition provided above, recent research has found that boredom proneness is clearly and consistently associated with failures of attention[5]. Boredom and boredom proneness are both theoretically and empirically linked to depression and depressive symptoms[6] [7] [8]. Nonetheless, boredom proneness has been found to be as strongly correlated with attentional lapses as with depression[9].
Although boredom is often viewed as a trivial and mild irritant, boredom, and especially boredom proneness has been linked to an amazingly diverse range of psychological, physical, educational, and social problems. oops
Philosophy

Boredom is a condition characterized by perception of one's environment as dull, tedious, and lacking in stimulation. This can result from leisure and a lack of aesthetic interests. Labor, however, and even art may be alienated and passive, or immersed in tedium (see Marxism). Furthermore, boredom must be distinguished from squalor, in which tedium, though present, is overshadowed by suffering. There is an inherent anxiety in boredom; people will expend considerable effort to prevent or remedy it, yet in many circumstances, it is accepted as suffering to be endured. Common passive ways to escape boredom are to sleep or to think creative thoughts (daydream). Typical active solutions consist in an intentional activity of some sort, often something new, as familiarity and repetition lead to the tedious.
Boredom also plays a role in existentialist thought. Heidegger wrote about boredom in two texts available in English, in the 1929/30 semester lecture course The Fundamental Concepts of Metaphysics, and again in the essay What is Metaphysics? published in the same year. In the lecture, Heidegger included about 100 pages on boredom, probably the most extensive philosophical treatment ever of the subject. He focussed on waiting at train stations in particular as a major context of boredom.[10] In Kierkegaard's remark in Either/Or, that "patience cannot be depicted" visually, there is a sense that any immediate moment of life may be fundamentally tedious.
Without stimulus or focus, the individual is confronted with nothingness, the meaninglessness of existence, and experiences existential anxiety. Heidegger states this idea nicely: "Profound boredom, drifting here and there in the abysses of our existence like a muffling fog, removes all things and men and oneself along with it into a remarkable indifference. This boredom reveals being as a whole."[11]
Arthur Schopenhauer used the existence of boredom in an attempt to prove the vanity of human existence, stating, "...for if life, in the desire for which our essence and existence consists, possessed in itself a positive value and real content, there would be no such thing as boredom: mere existence would fulfill and satisfy us."[12]
Erich Fromm and other similar thinkers of critical theory speak of bourgeois society in terms similar to boredom, and Fromm mentions sex and the automobile as fundamental outlets of postmodern boredom.
Paradigm Cases

Above and beyond taste and character, the universal case of boredom consists in any instance of waiting, as Heidegger noted, such as in line, for someone else to arrive or finish a task, or while one is travelling. Waiting for one's opponent to move in a chess game or similar game can be boring, but this is more often the case for spectators, hence the cliche regarding chess that for many amateurs it is like "watching paint dry."
Boredom in travel, for example, often lends itself to a portable game or a repetitive song such as 99 Bottles of Beer. It is not clear why repetitive singing would be a response to tedium, but it may be a form of mockery. Similarly a number of repetitive gestures or games may be considered imitations of the tediousness of waiting, or of the moving hands of a clock.
Driving superfluously, especially very fast, is associated with an overcoming of boredom in travel, by treating the vehicle in a particularly gratuitous, reckless and rebellious manner. Attempting this, moreover, can clearly be dangerous and illegal. Boredom, however, may also increase as travel becomes more convenient, as the vehicle may become more like the windowless monad in Leibniz's monadology. The automobile requires fast reflexes, making its operator busy and hence, perhaps for other reasons as well, making the ride more tedious despite being over sooner.
If a tedious feeling is not the result of waiting, however, it is simply the fact of existence, and many more or less intellectual activities might be explored in order to give it shape, depending on one's intellectual or spiritual refinement and one's opportunity and appetite for friendship and sex. Certain character traits influence both susceptibility and response to boredom. Boredom can therefore be subjective, and a matter of taste, and can result in either increased isolation or social interaction.
In contexts where one is confined spatially or not, boredom may be met with various religious activities, not because religion would want to associate itself with tedium, but rather, partly because boredom may be taken as the essential human condition, to which God, wisdom, or morality are the ultimate answers. Boredom is in fact taken in this sense by virtually all existentialist philosophers as well as by Schopenhauer. Other responses to boredom, to the extent that one is free, include games, reading, socializing, physical exercise, art, an enormous array of hobbies, sciences and philosophy, or the search for further diversity. Finally, boredom is also linked to substance use, to both a mild and abusive degree.
The first record of the word boredom is in the novel, Bleak House, by Charles Dickens, written in 1852,[13] although the expression to be a bore had been used in the sense of "to be tiresome or dull" since 1768.[14] In a previously unpublished poem "Ennui" from her undergraduate years, the poet Sylvia Plath explores the literary theme of world-weariness.[2]
Time often seems to move more slowly to someone who experiences boredom. This results from the way in which the human mind measures the passage of time, combined with the infrequency of events perceived as notable. Children who continually suffer from boredom may become severely depressed and might not be able to focus on the real world and life in general.[citation needed]

Look up Boredom in
Wiktionary, the free dictionary.
Causes

Boredom can be a symptom of clinical depression. Some boredom is a form of learned helplessness, a phenomenon closely related to depression. Some philosophies of parenting propose that if children are raised in an environment devoid of stimuli, and are not allowed or encouraged to interact with their environment, they will fail to develop the mental capacities to do so. These children are then bored even when placed in an environment others would find stimulating.
Most would agree that the fundamental cause of boredom is leisure, which of course implies that boredom is most problematic in a life which combines wealth with a lack of artistic talent and aesthetic values.

Boredom is often associated with adolescence, especially in suburbs, small towns, and other isolated areas. A typical teenager's complaint is that there is "nothing to do." This statement can have a number of economic and social causes. Others disagree, arguing that few environments are inherently boring, and that boredom reflects a lack of imagination, initiative and creativity.
Practical effects

The Unsmiling Tsarevna (Nesmeyana), by Viktor Vasnetsov
Far from being a minor annoyance, boredom can have major negative impacts on people. Perhaps more importantly, boredom is often a symptom of deeper problems, such as depression, ineffective classroom teaching, or ineffective management in the workplace. This can also be due to the fact that some people just communicate poorly.
Boredom in the workplace does more than just waste time. Studies in behavioral finance have shown that stock traders can enter into "overtrading" (buying or selling even without any objective reason to do so) because they feel bored when they have nothing "productive" to do.[citation needed] Boredom in the workplace also hurts people's sense of self-worth, which can cause them to work less effectively or even to not work at all.
On the other hand boredom may be beneficial in some ways. Boredom is a natural feeling that comes about when the person feels as though there is nothing new or nothing to inspire their thought in that situation. To relieve boredom then that person may take up a new hobby or come up with an interesting idea by thinking creatively.
See also

Amotivational syndrome
Anomie
Apathy
Dysthymia
Entertainment
Motivation
Yawn
Reactive inhibition
References

^ Fisher, C. D. (1993). Boredom at work: A neglected concept. Human Relations, 46, 395–417, p. 396.
^ Leary, M. R., Rogers, P. A., Canfield, R. W., & Coe, C. (1986). Boredom in interpersonal encounters: Antecedents and social implications. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 51, 968–975, p. 968.
^ Cheyne, J. A., Carriere, J. S. A., & Smilek, D. (2006). Absent-mindedness: Lapses in conscious awareness and everyday cognitive failures. Consciousness and Cognition, 15, 578-592.
^ Farmer, R. & Sundberg, N. D. (1986). Boredom proneness: The development and correlates of a new scale. Journal of Personality Assessment, 50, 4–17.
^ Fisher, C. D. (1993). Boredom at work: A neglected concept. ‘’Human Relations, 46’’, 395–417
^ Carriere, J. S. A., Cheyne, J. A., & Smilek, D. (in press). Everyday Attention Lapses and Memory Failures: The Affective Consequences of Mindlessness. Consciousness and Cognition.
^ Sawin, D. A. & Scerbo, M. W. (1995). Effects of instruction type and boredom proneness in vigilance: Implications for boredom and workload. Human Factors, 37, 752–765.
^ Vodanovich, S. J., Verner, K. M., & Gilbride, T. V. (1991). Boredom proneness: Its relationship to positive and negative affect. Psychological Reports, 69, 1139–1146.
^ Carriere, J. S. A., Cheyne, J. A., & Smilek, D. (in press). Everyday Attention Lapses and Memory Failures: The Affective Consequences of Mindlessness. Consciousness and Cognition.
^ Martin Heidegger. The Fundamental Concepts of Metaphysics, pp. 78-164.
^ Martin Heidegger, What is Metaphysics? (1929)
^ Arthur Schopenhauer, Essays and Aphorisms, Penguin Classics, ISBN0140442278 (2004), p53 Full text available online: [1]
^ Oxford Old English Dictionary
^ Online Etymology Dictionary

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Alertness • Acceptance • Affection • Ambivalence • Anger • Angst • Anticipation • Anxiety • Apathy • Bitterness • Boredom • Calmness • Compassion • Contempt • Contentment • Confusion • Depression • Despair • Disappointment • Disgust • Doubt • Ecstasy • Embarrassment • Emptiness • Enmity • Enthusiasm • Envy • Epiphany • Euphoria • Fanaticism • Fear • Frustration • Gratification • Gratitude • Grief • Guilt • Happiness • Hate • Homesickness • Hope • Horror • Humiliation • Jealousy • Limerence • Loneliness • Love • Lust • Melancholia • Panic • Patience • Pity • Pride • Rage • Regret • Remorse • Repentance • Righteous indignation • Self-pity • Shame • Shyness • Suffering • Surprise
Categories: Articles with unsourced statements since June 2007 | All articles with unsourced statements | Articles with unsourced statements since July 2007 | Articles with unsourced statements since March 2007 | Emotion | Motivation
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oh, you're so gay, aren't you?

it's sad.

There's nothing wrong with being gay, guys.

Embrace it.

This thread makes me sad. :( Poor everyone. Please take care.

Oh please, eat dick.

http://images.google.com/url?q=http://www.bobfromaccounting.com/Photos/idiot.jpg&usg=AFQjCNG1-tSbiJ-6KQ3Br6JzEmDmtEsBHA

Sounds sweet Dean. And I'm going to crack open a Belgian and throw on some early synthesizer music. Peace bro. (xpost of course, lol!)

I wandered into this thread believing that it was a celebration of my EPIC victory over The Tape Store in a facebook scrabble game. This is, in fact, why you all have gathered here, right? To sing hymns and compose lai's?

Ha, that carfuckin' redhead is scott seward, isn't it? That's basically the image I've been imagining.

oh, I'll bet you have

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpowercopy.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpowercopy.jpg

"THIS IS COCAINE SPEAKING"

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpowercopy.jpg
o
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpowercopy.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/yokoono-catpowercopy.jpg

Btw: "STORMIER" helped me clench the victory. That, and "TELEPHONE."

http://www.phish.com/_content/viewers/full/viewer_84/Ball,_11_(band_is_GOOD)_copy.jpg

Epic thread.

Also, undoubtedly, "CHIVES" helped.

scotty the incredible metal faggot for the win

I HAD QUIVER!

"ERK," isn't a word. I don't care WHAT facebook says.

oh shit I think I was in a band with "Trey is good" shirt guy

hey those guys got some nice shirts

this is one of those threads that people should have let quietly sink to the bottom of the pile. but instead we get offensive pictures? yay!

WE'RE TALKING SOWPODS!

If someone called me an incredible metal faggot, I'd be all "Hey! I'm not all that incredible"

cuz you know you're a faggot, amirite?

Hot August night + extremely lame troll = Theater of Eternal Beatdown

xpost

That was the implication, yes.

Jeepers, wowee zowee, got me on on a technicality, foghat.

A warning to aspiring amateur photographers: If you're inspired to take creative but harmless photos of a 9-year-old girl, make sure to get her parents' permission before whisking her away for a shoot.

Phish bassist Mike Gordon learned that

lesson the hard way.

Last week at the Jones Beach Theatre in Wantagh, New York, Gordon was backstage taking pictures at a concert when he spotted a 9-year-old girl he wanted to photograph. So, he invited her to an enclosed boathouse behind the theater, an area only for use by state employees, state police said.

When the girl's parents realized she was missing, they alerted the authorities. Not long after, security officers found Gordon with the girl on a dock. The situation became even stranger when it was discovered that the girl's dad was a member of the Hells Angels motorcycle gang. Displeased that his daughter had been led away without his consent, the father became irate and an altercation ensued between some of his biker cronies and Gordon. The bassist was intimidated and hit, but not seriously injured, said a source close to the band.

Gordon was arrested for child endangerment and trespassing into a closed area. The misdemeanor charge is punishable with up to a year in jail and a $1,000 fine.

Police said the girl was fully clothed when she was found, and a source close to the band insisted there was nothing inappropriate about the pictures taken by Gordon. Police have issued Gordon a court date, but the band source said the family has decided not to file charges.

"We have had several discussions regarding the situation," said Gordon and the girl's parents in a joint statement. "It is now clear to all involved that this was an unfortunate misunderstanding, and we look forward to putting this matter behind us."

This isn't the kind of jam Phish's Mike Gordon is used to.

The quirky bassist was arrested and charged with misdemeanor child endangerment and trespassing on Saturday after being found with a nine-year-old girl in a restricted area during a concert by the Dead at Jones Beach in New York.

Gordon, 38, was a backstage guest of the Dead's (né the Grateful Dead) along with some members of the Hell's Angels. The bassist was documenting the show with his camera when he met the daughter of one of the Angels' and asked if he could take some "art photos" of her, according to police.

Only problem: The musician didn't bother to get her parents' permission.

When her mom and dad couldn't find her, they alerted security, who discovered Gordon and the child fully clothed in a boathouse behind the amphitheater, a dimly lit area accessed only by state employees.

Authorities said the child, whose identity is being withheld because of her age, was uninjured and was immediately reunited with her mother.

According to local station WNBC-TV, some biker buddies of the girl's father dispensed their own brand of justice, roughing up the musician before cops arrived. Gordon was not seriously injured, however.

The station also said Gordon initially told cops, "I may have shown bad judgment, but I am not a pedophile."

Major Richard K. O'Donnell of the New York State Park Police did not reveal any details of the police report, nor could he confirm the altercation. However, he did note that the bass player has never been convicted of any crime.

While the girl's parents opted not to press charges, police still slapped Gordon with one count of child endangerment, a charge that could land him up to a year in jail and a $1,000 fine.

An insider with the band said nothing phishy was found in the pics taken by Gordon. A joint statement released by Phish's label, Elektra Records, and the girl's parents said the incident was much ado about nothing.

"We have had several discussions regarding the situation," the statement says. "It is now clear to all involved that this was an unfortunate misunderstanding, and we look forward to putting this matter behind us."

Andy Hurwitz, president of Ropeadope Records who is releasing Gordon's solo album, Inside In, on Tuesday, seconded that.

"If you knew Mike at all, you'd know he doesn't live on planet Earth," Hurwitz told the New York Post. "He's been making movies since he was a kid, and he's always taking photographs. He's an artist. This whole thing's a misunderstanding."

In a conference call, the band's manager says Gordon is trying to "make amends" with the girl's family, and the girl's father said, "Muckraking journalists should put the story to rest."

Nonetheless, "Cactus," as Gordon's known by fans and bandmates, is now stuck with a summons from the New York State Park Police and is scheduled to appear in court on September 29 to address the charges.

Phish, meanwhile, concluded its first summer tour since returning from a self-imposed hiatus with the hugely successful weekend-long "It" festival, which drew 60,000 Phishheads to Northern Maine earlier this month. The quartet is expected to tour again in the fall, though dates haven't been announced.

Nonetheless, "Cactus," as Gordon's known by fans and bandmates
Nonetheless, "Cactus," as Gordon's known by fans and bandmates
Nonetheless, "Cactus," as Gordon's known by fans and bandmates
Nonetheless, "Cactus," as Gordon's known by fans and bandmates
Nonetheless, "Cactus," as Gordon's known by fans and bandmates
Nonetheless, "Cactus," as Gordon's known by fans and bandmates
Nonetheless, "Cactus," as Gordon's known by fans and bandmates
Nonetheless, "Cactus," as Gordon's known by fans and bandmates
Nonetheless, "Cactus," as Gordon's known by fans and bandmates
Nonetheless, "Cactus," as Gordon's known by fans and bandmates
Nonetheless, "Cactus," as Gordon's known by fans and bandmates
Nonetheless, "Cactus," as Gordon's known by fans and bandmates

I don't know mike gordon the man. but I know his work with the band Phish. I consider it to be full of joy and wonder. If you get a chance to watch a documentary on the band called "bittersweet motel" you might get the same feeling that I did. That of four intelligent, kind, and talented individuals. The kind that wouldn't molest a little girl. It was a judgment error to go off alone for sure. However, Jesus probably would have done it.

apc
Posted by: a clune at September 21, 2003 02:21 PM

http://www.f-lohmueller.de/pov/cactus2s.jpg

hi dere, idiot. you're really obsessed with making your point (don't know what that is because, frankly, I couldn't care less... you are obviously a complete asshole, Scott Steward)....

So, you've posted something with many lines,

Yaya foro you assowhipey.

good job.

suck my dick.

it was all just a HORRIBLE misunderstanding vis a vis gordon's kiddy fiddling tendencies

http://www.colby.edu/personal/c/csgiffor/Disney/images/Cactus.jpg

http://oak.cats.ohiou.edu/~ct253704/files/humor/cactus_dick.jpg

yes that's right, i'm not even going to TRY to insult you "intelligently."

Why? Did you think you "deserved it?"

:-) Retarded asshole, you are so amusing, dickweeded cuntrag.

Heh, well, my fellow incredible shrinking egotistical douchebags, it's time for me to take a nap. Don't really know or care what the point was of your various entertaining images, but feel FREE to get in touch... gonna smoke a fatty and enjoy some PHISH now...

-- dean ge, Thursday, August 2, 2007 11:04 PM (17 minutes ago)

http://tetonland.free.fr/thumbs/TN_Cactus%20dick.jpg

http://www.merryswankster.com/images/MikeRocksW00ks.jpg

ƃdɾ˙ǝɯɐupɐqɐʎɹɹǝqlnƃuɐǝpƃuıʌıƃ

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b361/tapestore/note.jpg

xpost, cool picture. also: gaywads pretending they have anything interesting to say going on there, right John Justen? You Fag? Can I please have a water balloon fairy park out of your asshole for the next 500 years of salami-vision??? Please, you stupid faggot assed foghat motherfuckin' douchebag idiot weirdos?

LULZ it would be funny (for you) if I didn't ALREADY WIN, FAGGOTZ.

You can do this for as long as you want but you're not going to shoot your way out of here

But don't go to bed angry.

Names I Might Use on the Road in a Hotel instead of Mike Gordon

Bon Kucklin

Piggyman Toilethector

Quee-Billy Hyoten

Pat Hootbart

Hee-Hanklin Twylart

Hub Fuzznature

Aydeel Pumpnut

Royum Doizel

Lumlum Hipwicket

Blodiac Harppezniac

Godeasy Butfree

Harry Tyler Moore

Pighate Lovepig

Veal McCoy

Udgen Unac

Wolcart Blue

Cleodore Shotbang

Rodone Keepagoan

Donny Blinkt

http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/mba/lowres/mban95l.jpg

I like girls... but I also like the men with penis. Who wins?

http://www.corkscrew-balloon.com/

12-06-97 SET II TWEEZER JAM (Tweezer -> Izabella -> Twist -> Piper -> Sleeping Monkey -> Tweezer Reprise) 4 LIFE!!!!!

http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/images/A%20Cry%20or%20help%20-%20paperback.jpg

Odd that you gravitate toward that purple butthole of a picture, Hurting2. How's your ass these days?

if that looks like a butthole to you I do not want to see the men you are fucking

or the cacti

Tourette syndrome (also called Tourette's syndrome, Tourette's disorder, Gilles de la Tourette syndrome, GTS or, more commonly, simply Tourette's or TS) is an inherited neurological disorder with onset in childhood, characterized by the presence of multiple physical (motor) tics and at least one vocal (phonic) tic; these tics characteristically wax and wane. Tourette's is defined as part of a spectrum of tic disorders, which includes transient and chronic tics.
Tourette's was once considered a rare and bizarre syndrome, most often associated with the exclamation of obscene words or socially inappropriate and derogatory remarks (coprolalia). However, this symptom is present in only a small minority of people with Tourette's.[1] Tourette's is no longer considered a rare condition, but it may not always be correctly identified because most cases are classified as mild. Between 1 and 11 children per 1,000 have Tourette's; as many as one in a hundred people may have tic disorders,[2][3] with the more common tics of eye blinking, coughing, throat clearing, sniffing, and facial movements. People with Tourette's have normal life expectancy and intelligence. The severity of the tics decreases for most children as they pass through adolescence, and extreme Tourette's in adulthood is a rarity. Notable individuals with Tourette's are found in all walks of life.[4]
Genetic and environmental factors each play a role in the etiology of Tourette's, but the exact causes are unknown. In most cases, medication is unnecessary. There is no effective medication for every case of tics, but there are medications and therapies that can help when their use is warranted. Explanation and reassurance alone are often sufficient treatment;[5] education is an important part of any treatment plan.[6]
The eponym was bestowed by Jean-Martin Charcot (1825–93) on behalf of his resident, Georges Albert Édouard Brutus Gilles de la Tourette (1859–1904), a French physician and neurologist, who published an account of nine patients with Tourette's in 1885.

I am only fucking animals that look like women which happen to (sometimes) look like men. It's not really that cut and dried.

"I'm the bad guy?"

does he still think he's funny/amusing/contributing something?

well, any-whey, ned's a douche and i'm going to go pass out. later, idiots. you OH SO MUCH be hrtin my ffeelins. douche

just remember, don't go to bed angry. drink a glass of warm milk and curl up with a book for a while first

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v150/Flashblade/wiimoting.gif

Let this be a lesson that not all hippies are friendly or nice.

Let this also reinforce the notion that hippies are EXTREMELY annoying

holy shit are you all gay????????

SPEED + RED RED WINE = ARRRRGGGGH

Bobby Gillespie totally had the right idea.

xpost uh yeah, see gay threads.

yeah... the "hippy" is annoying... see above thread ;)

well at least I am!! can I see your penis?

PROBABLY NOT :)

can you revive some doglatin threads, deansy?

dean ge: the flame that launched a thousand zings

Sorry, I'm getting confused by the ironical emoticons in dean ge's parlance.

damn John that was some highlight film zinging

(xpost)

isn't this exciting? we're watching someone getting banned and we're the lucky few who get to witness it and make pew/jaggersque 'dean ge' jokes FOREVER

are you retarded? I'm nude spock. Asshole.

been here since day #1. won't ever leave. idiot.

Probably not. Nude Spock was occasionally entertaining, and knew how to troll.

xpost

Yeah, and that's me, fuckwit.

BORING. SUB-SPOCK.

otm

Looky looky, blount asked who would defend me. Look at all the friends I made. Meanwhile blount has disappeared, pretty much, ain't he? Not that I give a fuck. I'm like Palaka on John From Cincinatti (but way smarter, butthole)... Funny shit. You guys never cease to be idiots.

dean ge do you like Butthole Surfers?

xpost why do you breathe?

noitaugibmasiD :yrogetaC
.elcitra dednetni eht ot yltcerid tniop ot knil eht egnahc ot hsiw yam uoy ,ereh uoy del knil lanretni na fI .eltit emas eht htiw detaicossa selcitra stsil egap noitaugibmasid sihT
oitar egareva-ot-kaeP
egavaelc yb detavitca si taht rotpecer llec ,rotpecer detavitca-esaetorP
selosnoc emag oediv emoh suoirav rof segdirtrac noisnapxe fo dnarb ,yalpeR noitcA orP
metsys hcaorppa tnemurtsni yratilim ,radaR hcaorppA noisicerP
sevitidda doof rof sgnidocne rebmun E emos gniynapmocca gninraw ,noitcaeR cigrellA elbissoP
thgil ni shtgnelevaw evitca yllacitehtnysotohp fo tnuoma eht fo tnemerusaem ,noitaidar evitca yllacitehtnysotohP
ygolodohtem hcraeser ,hcraeseR noitcA yrotapicitraP
thgildoolf fo epyt a ,"thgil RAP" ro rotcelfer dezimunimula cilobaraP

ygolonhcet dna ecneicS
eropagniS ni desab ,tnemtnio mlaB regiT rof elbisnopser ynapmoc ,noitaroproC raP waH
puorg lanoitacudE naidanaC-eseugutroP ,nosreyR fo noitaicossA eseugutroP
setatS detinU ,yesreJ weN ,ekaL ffilcdooW ni desab sgurd cireneg fo rerutcafunam a ,lacituecamrahP raP
niapS nihtiw nogarA fo stseretni eht setacovda hcihw ytrap lacitilop ,)"RAP" ro sénogarA oditraP :hsinapS( ytraP esenogarA

snoitasinagrO
modgniK detinU ,dnalgnE ni egalliv a ,llawnroC ,raP
natsikaP ,hdniS ,ihcaraK ni nwoT rilaM fo doohrobhgien a ,)doohrobhgien( raP arhkohK

yhpargoeG
neerg dna eet eht neewteb ecnatsid eht stcelfer taht esruoc flog a no eloh hcae fo erusaem noitacifissalc ,)erocs( raP
oeraP aerdnA dna usaC enoigreS yb del dnab hsalcortcelE nailatI ,enO-T-raP
"yadiloH s'niatpaC" dna "etaM tcefreP ehT" sedosipe noitareneG txeN ehT :kerT ratS eht ni kihcnédorG xaM yb deyalp retcarahc ,"roneL raP"
yalp ekorts dna drofelbatS ot evitanretla na sa desu flog rof tamrof gnirocs ,)tamrof gnirocs flog( raP
gniddib rehtruf yb evorpmi dluoc edis rehtien hcihw dna sedis htob yb gniddib lamitpo morf stluser hcihw tcartnoc egdirb a ,tcartnoc raP

semag dna strops ,tnemniatretnE
tpecnoc scimonoce laicnanif ,rap ot lluP
ytiruces a fo eulav eht rof mret laicnanif ,eulav raP

scimonocE
noissimsnart atad elbailer fo dohtem PI/PCT ,noissimsnart-er htiw tnemgdelwonkca evitisoP
dnammoc gniretlif XINU ,)dnammoc( raP
tnemucod egdE diloS htiw detaicossa epyt elif ,"rap."
selif rehto xif ot desu atad yrevocer gniniatnoc sepyt elif evihcraP ,"2rap." dna "rap."
retsiger sserdda egaP

gnitupmoC
ygolonhcet dna ecneicS 6
snoitasinagrO 5
yhpargoeG 4
semag dna strops ,tnemniatretnE 3
scimonocE 2
gnitupmoC 1

stnetnoC
:ot refer yam RAP ro raP
.yranoitcid eerf eht ,yranoitkiW ni rap pu kooL

)RAP morf detcerideR(
aidepolcycne eerf eht ,aidepikiW morF
raP

noitaugibmasiD :yrogetaC
.elcitra dednetni eht ot yltcerid tniop ot knil eht egnahc ot hsiw yam uoy ,ereh uoy del knil lanretni na fI .eltit emas eht htiw detaicossa selcitra stsil egap noitaugibmasid sihT
tes edoc lortnoc 0C eht ni retcarahc etutitsbus eht fo eman eht
aisenodnI ,ayabaruS ni tropriA adnauJ rof edoc tropria ATAI eht
egnahcxE kcotS kroY weN eht no yesreJ weN fo procnaB timmuS rof lobmys rekcit eht
amruB fo noinU 'srerafaeS eht rof mynorca na
:si BUS
rotcartnocbus
rotidebus
.tpircsbus sa txet tamrof ot desu tnemele LMTH eht si >bus/<>bus< ,tpircsbus
refoowbuS
)MSDB( evissimbuS
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rehcaet etutitsbus a yllaicepse ,etutitsbuS
rebircsbuS
hciwdnas enirambuS
enirambuS
:rof noitaiverbba na si bus ,drow a sA
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.yranoitcid eerf eht ,yranoitkiW ni -bus ,bus pu kooL

aidepolcycne eerf eht ,aidepikiW morF
buS

sremialcsiD

aidepikiW tuobA

ycilop ycavirP
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).sliated rof sthgirypoC eeS( .esneciL noitatnemucoD eerF UNG eht fo smret eht rednu elbaliava si txet llA

.7002 tsuguA 2 ,85:31 deifidom tsal saw egap sihT

שידִיי
ยทไ
iksprS / икспрС
aničnevolS
sêugutroP
iksloP
sdnalredeN
икснодекаМ
תירבע
odI
siaçnarF
loñapsE
hcstueD
ksnaD
àlataC
segaugnal rehto nI
elcitra siht etiC
knil tnenamreP
noisrev elbatnirP
segap laicepS
elif daolpU
segnahc detaleR
ereh sknil tahW
xoblooT

hcraeS
pleH
noitanod a ekaM
aidepikiW tcatnoC
draziw daolpu eliF
segnahc tneceR
latrop ytinummoC
aidepikiW tuobA
noitcaretni
elcitra modnaR
stneve tnerruC
tnetnoc derutaeF
stnetnoC
egap niaM
noitagivaN
tnuocca etaerc / ni ngiS
yrotsiH

egap siht tidE

noissucsiD

elcitrA
noitavitoM | noitomE | 7002 hcraM ecnis stnemetats decruosnu htiw selcitrA | 7002 yluJ ecnis stnemetats decruosnu htiw selcitrA | stnemetats decruosnu htiw selcitra llA | 7002 enuJ ecnis stnemetats decruosnu htiw selcitrA :seirogetaC
esirpruS • gnireffuS • ssenyhS • emahS • ytip-fleS • noitangidni suoethgiR • ecnatnepeR • esromeR • tergeR • egaR • edirP • ytiP • ecneitaP • cinaP • ailohcnaleM • tsuL • evoL • ssenilenoL • ecneremiL • ysuolaeJ • noitailimuH • rorroH • epoH • ssenkcisemoH • etaH • ssenippaH • tliuG • feirG • edutitarG • noitacifitarG • noitartsurF • raeF • msicitanaF • airohpuE • ynahpipE • yvnE • msaisuhtnE • ytimnE • ssenitpmE • tnemssarrabmE • ysatscE • tbuoD • tsugsiD • tnemtnioppasiD • riapseD • noisserpeD • noisufnoC • tnemtnetnoC • tpmetnoC • noissapmoC • ssenmlaC • moderoB • ssenrettiB • yhtapA • yteixnA • noitapicitnA • tsgnA • regnA • ecnelavibmA • noitceffA • ecnatpeccA • ssentrelA
snoitomE
e • d • v

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secnerefeR
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nwaY
noitavitoM
tnemniatretnE
aimyhtsyD
yhtapA
eimonA
emordnys lanoitavitomA

osla eeS
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vostensaV rotkiV yb ,)anayemseN( anverasT gnilimsnU ehT

stceffe lacitcarP
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sesuaC
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ni moderoB pu kooL

]dedeen noitatic[.lareneg ni efil dna dlrow laer eht no sucof ot elba eb ton thgim dna desserped ylereves emoceb yam moderob morf reffus yllaunitnoc ohw nerdlihC .elbaton sa deviecrep stneve fo ycneuqerfni eht htiw denibmoc ,emit fo egassap eht serusaem dnim namuh eht hcihw ni yaw eht morf stluser sihT .moderob secneirepxe ohw enoemos ot ylwols erom evom ot smees netfo emiT
]2[.sseniraew-dlrow fo emeht yraretil eht serolpxe htalP aivlyS teop eht ,sraey etaudargrednu reh morf "iunnE" meop dehsilbupnu ylsuoiverp a nI ]41[.8671 ecnis "llud ro emoserit eb ot" fo esnes eht ni desu neeb dah erob a eb ot noisserpxe eht hguohtla ]31[,2581 ni nettirw ,snekciD selrahC yb ,esuoH kaelB ,levon eht ni si moderob drow eht fo drocer tsrif ehT
.eerged evisuba dna dlim a htob ot ,esu ecnatsbus ot deknil osla si moderob ,yllaniF .ytisrevid rehtruf rof hcraes eht ro ,yhposolihp dna secneics ,seibboh fo yarra suomrone na ,tra ,esicrexe lacisyhp ,gnizilaicos ,gnidaer ,semag edulcni ,eerf si eno taht tnetxe eht ot ,moderob ot sesnopser rehtO .reuahnepohcS yb sa llew sa srehposolihp tsilaitnetsixe lla yllautriv yb esnes siht ni nekat tcaf ni si moderoB .srewsna etamitlu eht era ytilarom ro ,modsiw ,doG hcihw ot ,noitidnoc namuh laitnesse eht sa nekat eb yam moderob esuaceb yltrap ,rehtar tub ,muidet htiw flesti etaicossa ot tnaw dluow noigiler esuaceb ton ,seitivitca suoigiler suoirav htiw tem eb yam moderob ,ton ro yllaitaps denifnoc si eno erehw stxetnoc nI
.noitcaretni laicos ro noitalosi desaercni rehtie ni tluser nac dna ,etsat fo rettam a dna ,evitcejbus eb erofereht nac moderoB .moderob ot esnopser dna ytilibitpecsus htob ecneulfni stiart retcarahc niatreC .xes dna pihsdneirf rof etiteppa dna ytinutroppo s'eno dna tnemenifer lautirips ro lautcelletni s'eno no gnidneped ,epahs ti evig ot redro ni derolpxe eb thgim seitivitca lautcelletni ssel ro erom ynam dna ,ecnetsixe fo tcaf eht ylpmis si ti ,revewoh ,gnitiaw fo tluser eht ton si gnileef suoidet a fI
.renoos revo gnieb etipsed suoidet erom edir eht gnikam ,llew sa snosaer rehto rof spahrep ,ecneh dna ysub rotarepo sti gnikam ,sexelfer tsaf seriuqer elibomotua ehT .ygolodanom s'zinbieL ni danom sselwodniw eht ekil erom emoceb yam elcihev eht sa ,tneinevnoc erom semoceb levart sa esaercni osla yam ,revewoh ,moderoB .lagelli dna suoregnad eb ylraelc nac ,revoerom ,siht gnitpmettA .rennam suoilleber dna sselkcer ,suotiutarg ylralucitrap a ni elcihev eht gnitaert yb ,levart ni moderob fo gnimocrevo na htiw detaicossa si ,tsaf yrev yllaicepse ,ylsuoulfrepus gnivirD
.kcolc a fo sdnah gnivom eht fo ro ,gnitiaw fo ssensuoidet eht fo snoitatimi deredisnoc eb yam semag ro serutseg evititeper fo rebmun a ylralimiS .yrekcom fo mrof a eb yam ti tub ,muidet ot esnopser a eb dluow gnignis evititeper yhw raelc ton si tI .reeB fo selttoB 99 sa hcus gnos evititeper a ro emag elbatrop a ot flesti sdnel netfo ,elpmaxe rof ,levart ni moderoB
".yrd tniap gnihctaw" ekil si ti sruetama ynam rof taht ssehc gnidrager ehcilc eht ecneh ,srotatceps rof esac eht netfo erom si siht tub ,gnirob eb nac emag ralimis ro emag ssehc a ni evom ot tnenoppo s'eno rof gnitiaW .gnillevart si eno elihw ro ,ksat a hsinif ro evirra ot esle enoemos rof ,enil ni sa hcus ,deton reggedieH sa ,gnitiaw fo ecnatsni yna ni stsisnoc moderob fo esac lasrevinu eht ,retcarahc dna etsat dnoyeb dna evobA

sesaC mgidaraP
.moderob nredomtsop fo steltuo latnemadnuf sa elibomotua eht dna xes snoitnem mmorF dna ,moderob ot ralimis smret ni yteicos sioegruob fo kaeps yroeht lacitirc fo srekniht ralimis rehto dna mmorF hcirE
]21[".su yfsitas dna llifluf dluow ecnetsixe erem :moderob sa gniht hcus on eb dluow ereht ,tnetnoc laer dna eulav evitisop a flesti ni dessessop ,stsisnoc ecnetsixe dna ecnesse ruo hcihw rof erised eht ni ,efil fi rof..." ,gnitats ,ecnetsixe namuh fo ytinav eht evorp ot tpmetta na ni moderob fo ecnetsixe eht desu reuahnepohcS ruhtrA
]11[".elohw a sa gnieb slaever moderob sihT .ecnereffidni elbakramer a otni ti htiw gnola fleseno dna nem dna sgniht lla sevomer ,gof gnilffum a ekil ecnetsixe ruo fo sessyba eht ni ereht dna ereh gnitfird ,moderob dnuoforP" :ylecin aedi siht setats reggedieH .yteixna laitnetsixe secneirepxe dna ,ecnetsixe fo ssensselgninaem eht ,ssengnihton htiw detnorfnoc si laudividni eht ,sucof ro sulumits tuohtiW
.suoidet yllatnemadnuf eb yam efil fo tnemom etaidemmi yna taht esnes a si ereht ,yllausiv "detciped eb tonnac ecneitap" taht ,rO/rehtiE ni kramer s'draagekreiK nI ]01[.moderob fo txetnoc rojam a sa ralucitrap ni snoitats niart ta gnitiaw no dessucof eH .tcejbus eht fo reve tnemtaert lacihposolihp evisnetxe tsom eht ylbaborp ,moderob no segap 001 tuoba dedulcni reggedieH ,erutcel eht nI .raey emas eht ni dehsilbup ?scisyhpateM si tahW yasse eht ni niaga dna ,scisyhpateM fo stpecnoC latnemadnuF ehT esruoc erutcel retsemes 03/9291 eht ni ,hsilgnE ni elbaliava stxet owt ni moderob tuoba etorw reggedieH .thguoht tsilaitnetsixe ni elor a syalp osla moderoB
.suoidet eht ot dael noititeper dna ytirailimaf sa ,wen gnihtemos netfo ,tros emos fo ytivitca lanoitnetni na ni tsisnoc snoitulos evitca lacipyT .)maerdyad( sthguoht evitaerc kniht ot ro peels ot era moderob epacse ot syaw evissap nommoC .derudne eb ot gnireffus sa detpecca si ti ,secnatsmucric ynam ni tey ,ti ydemer ro tneverp ot troffe elbaredisnoc dnepxe lliw elpoep ;moderob ni yteixna tnerehni na si erehT .gnireffus yb dewodahsrevo si ,tneserp hguoht ,muidet hcihw ni ,rolauqs morf dehsiugnitsid eb tsum moderob ,eromrehtruF .)msixraM ees( muidet ni desremmi ro ,evissap dna detaneila eb yam tra neve dna ,revewoh ,robaL .stseretni citehtsea fo kcal a dna erusiel morf tluser nac sihT .noitalumits ni gnikcal dna ,suoidet ,llud sa tnemnorivne s'eno fo noitpecrep yb deziretcarahc noitidnoc a si moderoB

yhposolihP
spoo .smelborp laicos dna ,lanoitacude ,lacisyhp ,lacigolohcysp fo egnar esrevid ylgnizama na ot deknil neeb sah ssenenorp moderob yllaicepse dna ,moderob ,tnatirri dlim dna laivirt a sa deweiv netfo si moderob hguohtlA
.]9[noisserped htiw sa sespal lanoitnetta htiw detalerroc ylgnorts sa eb ot dnuof neeb sah ssenenorp moderob ,sselehtenoN .]8[ ]7[ ]6[smotpmys evisserped dna noisserped ot deknil yllaciripme dna yllaciteroeht htob era ssenenorp moderob dna moderoB .]5[noitnetta fo seruliaf htiw detaicossa yltnetsisnoc dna ylraelc si ssenenorp moderob taht dnuof sah hcraeser tnecer ,evoba dedivorp noitinifed eht htiw tnetsisnoC knil .]4[ elacS ssenenorP moderoB eht yb dessessa yllacipyt si sihT .sepyt lla fo moderob ecneirepxe ot ycnednet a ;ssenenorp moderob fo taht si tcurtsnoc lacigolohcysp tnatropmi nA
spoo .]3[elcatceps ro ytivitca yna ni tnemegagne niatniam ot ,nosaer tnerappa on rof ,elbanu ylpmis era ew nehw ro ytivitca detnawnu emos ni egagne ot decrof era ew nehw ,gnihtemos ni gnigagne morf detneverp era ew nehw semit edulcni esehT .noitnetta fo tnemegagne fo smelborp evlovni hcihw fo lla ;moderob fo sepyt lareneg eerht eb ot raeppa erehT
.tnemegagne rof erised dnuoforp netfo na etipsed ,su segagne gnihtoN .ytivitca cificeps yna otno hctal ot ytilibani eht tub od ot sgniht fo kcal a rof ton sesira moderob taht raelc ti ekam snoitinifed esehT .]2[ ”sessecorp lanoitnetta evitingoc htiw detaicossa ecneirepxe evitceffa na“ sa ,yltcniccus erom tahwemos dna ,ylralimis moderob enifed srehto dna yraeL .]1[ ”ytivitca tnerruc eht no gnitartnecnoc ytluciffid dna ni tseretni fo kcal evisavrep a sleef laudividni eht hcihw ni etats evitceffa tneisnart ,tnasaelpnu na“ :sessecorp lacigolohcysp lartnec sti fo smret ni rehsiF yb denifed neeb sah moderoB

per your request for backwards or whateverrrrrrr.

It's funny because I don't even TRY to be different. I get a different name and I can clearly SEE all the people who are BRINGING UP MY OLD POSTS as if to say, "HEY EVERYBODY, ISN"T THIS NUDE SPOCK AGAIN?@?!@?!@" but nobody gives a shit.

Why?

Because nobody gives a shit.

Why should you? A few of you douchebags give a shit. I've been wondering why for a while now, but I don't care, really. It's pretty funny to see you get all up in arms about something meaningless.

dean ge do you like Butthole Surfers?

LOVE THEM. WENT OUT OF MY WAY NOT TO MENTION THEM.

xpost why do you breathe?

Pretty much the only reason is because I continue to live when I do so. And I enjoy it. I wish I could say that my exhalation killed kittens, but the truth is I like kittens.

It's pretty funny to see you get all up in arms about something meaningless.

Like starting six threads over a Phish thread being locked?

Why should you? A few of you douchebags give a shit. I've been wondering why for a while now, but I don't care, really. It's pretty funny to see you get all up in arms about something meaningless.

-- dean ge, Friday, August 3, 2007 7:03 AM (19 seconds ago)

Yeah, see, getting you all spitting mad is amusing for me, because tomorrow I'll be going to work, and you'll be all SEE IMAGINARY FRIENDS HOW I WON TEH INTERNETS, RIGHT GUYS. GUYS?

Like starting six threads over a Phish thread being locked?

Yeah, like that!

RIGHT JJ

I think the title deserved all caps, but perhaps not and possibly only interesting to ponder if you actually believe I am Nude Spock... Or just a guy who knows how to use an elipse when he sees one, understands how to post anonymously, talk about racism, sexism, Butthole Surfers and Phish!
SUCK MY FUCKIN' DICK.

-- Nude Spock 2: The Return, Sunday, February 6, 2005 7:39 PM

Yeah, see, getting you all spitting mad is amusing for me, because tomorrow I'll be going to work, and you'll be all SEE IMAGINARY FRIENDS HOW I WON TEH INTERNETS, RIGHT GUYS. GUYS?

Right, because I don't go to work at all. I just fantasize weirdly about things and you win fantasy-wise all assumptiony-like and stuff.

(01x ʇɐǝdǝɹ) ˙zlnl ʇoƃƃɐɟ ʇǝƃƃɐɹ uɐıɹɐɹqıl ʌqɯ ˙zlnl ɥsıɥd ˙pǝpɹɐʇǝɹ ɯ,ı ʞunɹp os ɯɐ ı ʞool zlnl

I still don't think you're nude spock, because at least that he had the self-control to make trolling work without detection for a bit, where you seem to be just a one trick pony. HI DERE I CAN SAY DOUCHEBAG AND ASSHOLE AND FAG LOOKEE ME. fucking amateur.

xpost: gershy, you're confusing the poor fellers

Sorry, I got a bit wordy there. I think I meant BORING. SUB-PAR.

ARE YOU A BROMIDE?

OR,

THE SULPHITIC THEORY

EXPOUNDED AND EXEMPLIFIED ACCORDING TO THE MOST RECENT RESEARCHES INTO
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF BOREDOM

_Including many well-known Bromidioms now in use_

BY

GELETT BURGESS, S.B.

Author of "Goops and How to Be Them," "The Burgess Nonsense Book,"
"Vivette," &c., &c.

_WITH DECORATIONS BY THE AUTHOR_

Note:
Decorations replaced with five asterisks
* * * * *

1906

_NOTE

This essay is reprinted, with revisions and enlargement additions,
from "The Sulphitic Theory" published in "The Smart Set" for April,
1906, by consent of the editors._

TO

GERTRUDE McCALL

CHATELAINE OF MAC MANOR

AND DISCOVERER OF

THE SULPHITIC THEORY

ARE YOU A BROMIDE?

The terms "Bromide" and "Sulphite" as applied to psychological rather
than chemical analysis have already become, among the _illuminati_, so
widely adopted that these denominations now stand in considerable danger
of being weakened in significance through a too careless use. The
adjective "bromidic" is at present adopted as a general vehicle, a
common carrier for the thoughtless damnation of the Philistine. The time
has come to formulate, authoritatively, the precise scope of intellect
which such distinctions suggest and to define the shorthand of
conversation which their use has made practicable. The rapid spread of
the theory, traveling from Sulphite to Sulphite, like the spark of a
pyrotechnic set-piece, till the thinking world has been over-violently
illuminated, has obscured its genesis and diverted attention from the
simplicity and force of its fundamental principles.(1) In this, its
progress has been like that of slang, which, gaining in popularity, must
inevitably decrease in aptness and definiteness.

(Footnote 1: It was in April that I first heard of the Theory from the
Chatelaine. The following August, in Venice, a lady said to me: "Aren't
these old palaces a great deal more sulphitic in their decay than they
were originally, during the Renaissance?")

In attempting to solve the problem which for so long was the despair of
philosophers I have made modest use of the word "theory." But to the
Sulphite, this simple, convincing, comprehensive explanation is more;
it is an opinion, even a belief, if not a _credo_. It is the
_crux_ by which society is tested. But as I shall proceed
scientifically, my conclusion will, I trust, effect rational proof of
what was an _a priori_ hypothesis.

* * * * *

The history of the origin of the theory is brief. The Chatelaine of a
certain sugar plantation in Louisiana, in preparing a list of guests
for her house-party, discovered, in one of those explosive moments of
inspiration, that all people were easily divided into two fundamental
groups or families, the Sulphites and the Bromides. The revelation was
apodictic, convincing; it made life a different thing; it made society
almost plausible. So, too, it simplified human relationship and gave
the first hint of a method by which to adjust and equalize affinities.
The primary theorems sprang quickly into her mind, and, such is their
power, they have attained almost the nature of axioms. The discovery,
indeed, was greater, more far-reaching than she knew, for, having
undergone the test of philosophical analysis as well as of practical
application, it stands, now, a vital, convincing interpretation of the
mysteries of human nature.

* * * * *

We have all tried our hands at categories. Philosophy is, itself, but a
system of definitions. What, then, made the Chatelaine's theory
remarkable, when Civilization has wearied itself with distinctions? The
attempt to classify one's acquaintance is the common sport of the
thinker, from the fastidious who says: "There are two kinds of
persons--those who like olives and those who don't," to the fatuous,
immemorial lover who says: "There are two kinds of women--Daisy, and
the Other Kind!"

* * * * *

Previous attempts, less fantastic, have had this fault in common: their
categories were susceptible of gradation--extremes fused one into the
other. What thinking person has not felt the need of some definite,
final, absolute classification? We speak of "my kind" and "the other
sort," of Those who Understand, of Impossibles, and Outsiders. Some of
these categories have attained considerable vogue. There is the
Bohemian versus the Philistine, the Radical versus the Conservative,
the Interesting versus the Bores, and so on. But always there is a
shifting population at the vague frontier--the types intermingle and
lose identity. Your Philistine is the very one who says: "This is
Liberty Hall!"--and one must drink beer whether one likes it or not. It
is the conservative business man, hard-headed, stubborn, who is
converted by the mind-reader or the spiritualistic medium--one extreme
flying to the other. It is the bore who, at times, unconsciously to
himself, amuses you to the point of repressed laughter. These terms are
fluent--your friends have a way of escaping from the labeled boxes into
which you have put them; they seem to defy your definitions, your
Orders and Genera. Fifteen minutes' consideration of the great
Sulphitic Theory will, as the patent medicines say, convince one of its
efficacy. A Bromide will never jump out of his box into that ticketed
"Sulphite."

* * * * *

So much comment has been made upon the terminology of this theory that
it should be stated frankly, at the start, that the words Sulphite and
Bromide, and their derivatives, sulphitic and bromidic, are themselves
so sulphitic that they are not susceptible of explanation. In a word,
they are empirical, although, accidentally it might seem, they do
appeal and convince the most skeptical. I myself balked, at first, at
these inconsequent names. I would have suggested the terms "Gothic" and
"Classic" to describe the fundamental types of mind. But it took but a
short conversation with the Chatelaine to demonstrate the fact that the
words were inevitable, and the rapid increase in their use has proved
them something more real than slang--an acceptable and accepted
terminology. Swallow them whole, therefore, and you will be so much
better for the dose that, upon finishing this thesis you will say,
"Why, _of course_ there are no other words possible!"

Let us, therefore, first proceed with a general statement of the theory
and then develop some of its corollaries. It is comparatively easy to
define the Bromide; let us consider his traits and then classify the
Sulphite by a mere process of exclusion.

* * * * *

In this our world the Bromides constitute, alas! by far the larger
group. In this, the type resembles the primary bodies or other systems
of classification, such as the Philistines, the Conservatives, the
Bores and so on, _ad nauseam_. The Bromide does his thinking by
syndicate. He follows the main traveled roads, he goes with the crowd.
In a word, they all think and talk alike--one may predicate their
opinion upon any given subject. They follow custom and costume, they
obey the Law of Averages. They are, intellectually, all peas in the
same conventional pod, unenlightened, prosaic, living by rule and rote.
They have their hair cut every month and their minds keep regular
office hours. Their habits of thought are all ready-made, proper,
sober, befitting the Average Man. They worship dogma. The Bromide
conforms to everything sanctioned by the majority, and may be depended
upon to be trite, banal and arbitrary.

So much has a mere name already done for us that we may say, boldly,
and this is our First Theorem: that all Bromides are bromidic in every
manifestation of their being. But a better comprehension of the term,
and one which will perhaps remove the taint of malediction, will be
attained if we examine in detail a few essential bromidic tendencies.
The adjective is used more in pity than in anger or disgust. The
Bromide can't possibly help being bromidic--though, on the other hand,
he wouldn't if he could.

* * * * *

The chief characteristic, then, seems to be a certain reflex
psychological action of the bromidic brain. This is evidenced by the
accepted bromidic belief that each of the ordinary acts of life is, and
necessarily must be, accompanied by its own especial remark or opinion.
It is an association of ideas intensified in each generation by the
continual correlation of certain groups of brain cells. It has become
not only unnecessary for him to think, but almost impossible, so deeply
these well-worn paths of thought have become. His intellectual
processes are automatic--his train of thought can never get off the
track.

* * * * *

A single illustration will suffice for analysis. You have heard it
often enough; fie upon you if you have said it!

"_If you saw that sunset painted in a picture, you'd never believe it
would be possible!_"

* * * * *

It must be borne distinctly in mind that _it is not merely because
this remark is trite that it is bromidic_; it is because that, with
the Bromide, the remark is _inevitable_. One expects it from him,
and one is never disappointed. And, moreover, it is always offered by
the Bromide as a fresh, new, apt and rather clever thing to say. He
really believes, no doubt, that it is original--it is, at any rate,
neat, as he indicates by his evident expectation of applause. The
remark follows upon the physical or mental stimulus as the night the
day; he cannot, then, be true to any other impulse. Originality was
inhibited in him since his great-grandmother's time. He has "got the
habit."

Accepting his irresponsibility, and with all charity to his undeveloped
personality, we may note a few other examples of his mental reflexes.
The list is long, but it would take a large encyclopaedia to exhaust
the subject. The pastime, recently come into vogue, of collecting
Bromidioms,(1) is a pursuit by itself, worthy enough of practice if one
appreciates the subtleties of the game and does not merely collate
hackneyed phrases, irrespective of their true bromidic quality. For our
purpose in elucidating the thesis in hand, however, we need cull but a
few specimens, leaving the list to be completed by the reader at his
leisure.

(Footnote 1: For this apt and cleverly coined word I am indebted to Mr.
Frank O'Malley of the New York "Sun," who has been one of the most
ardent and discriminating collectors of Bromidioms.)

* * * * *

If you both happen to know Mr. Smith of Des Moines, the Bromide
inevitably will say:

"_This world is such a small place, after all, isn't it_?"

The Bromide never mentions such a vulgar thing as a birth, but

"_The Year Baby Came_."

The Bromide's euphemisms are the slang of her caste. When she departs
from her visit, she says:

_"I've had a perfectly charming time."_

_"It's SO good of you to have asked me_!"

"_Now, DO come and see us_!"

And when her caller leaves, her mind springs with a snap to fasten the
time-worn farewell:

"_Now you have found the way, do come often_!"

And this piece of ancient cynicism has run through a thousand changes:

"_Of course if you leave your umbrella at home it's sure to
rain!_"

But comment, to the Sulphite, is unnecessary. These remarks would all
be in his Index Epurgatorius, if one were necessary. Except in jest it
would never even occur to him to use any of the following remarks:

* * * * *

I.

"_I don't know much about Art, but I know what I like._"

II.

"_My mother is seventy years old, but she doesn't look a day over
fifty._"

III.

"_That dog understands every word I say._"

IV.

"_You'll feel differently about these things when you're
married!_"

V.

"_It isn't money, it's the PRINCIPLE of the thing I object to._"

VI.

"_Why aren't there any good stories in the magazines, nowadays?_"

VII.

"_I'm afraid I'm not educated up to Japanese prints._"

VIII.

"_The Japanese are such an interesting little people!_"

IX.

"_No, I don't play chess. I haven't got that kind of a brain_."

X.

"_No, I never intend to be married_."

XI.

"_I thought I loved him at the time, but of course it wasn't really
love_."

XII.

"_Funny how some people can never learn to spell_!"

XIII.

"_If you'd only come yesterday, this room was in perfect order_."

XIV.

"_I don't care for money--it's what I can do with it_."

XV.

"_I really oughtn't to tell this, but I know you understand_."

XVI.

"_Why, I know you better than you know yourself_!"

XVII.

"_Now, this thing really happened_!"

XVIII.

"_It's a great compliment to have a child fond of you_."

XIX.

"_The Salvation Army reaches a class of people that churches never
do_."

XX.

"_It's bad enough to see a man drunk--but, oh! a woman_!"

XXI.

"_It's a mistake for a woman to marry a man younger than
herself--women age so much faster than men. Think what she'll be,
when he's fifty!_"

XXII.

"_Of course if you happen to want a policeman, there's never one
within miles of you._"

XXIII.

"_It isn't so much the heat (or the cold), as the humidity in the
air._"

XXIV.

"_This tipping system is terrible, but what can one do about it?_"

XXV.

"_I don't know what we ever did without the telephone!_"

XXVI.

"_After I've shampooed my hair I can't do a thing with it_!"

XXVII.

"_I never read serials_."

XXVIII.

"_No, let me pay! I've got to change this bill anyway_."

XXIX.

"_You're a sight for sore eyes_!"

XXX.

"_Come up and see us any time. You'll have to take pot-luck, but
you're always welcome_."

XXXI.

"_There are as many chances to get rich in real estate as there ever
were--if you only knew where to find them_."

XXXII.

"_I'd rather have a good horse than all the automobiles made._"

XXXIII.

"_The price of autos is bound to come down sooner or later, and then
you won't see horses except in menageries._"

XXXIV.

"_I'd rather go to a dentist than have my photograph taken._"

XXXV.

"_Did you ever know of a famous man's son who amounted to
anything?_"

XXXVI.

"_The most ignorant Italian laborer seems to be able to appreciate
art._"

XXXVII.

"_I want to see my own country before I go abroad_."

XXXVIII.

"_Yes, but you can live in Europe for half what you can at home_."

XXXIX.

"_You can live twenty years in New York and never know who your next
door neighbor is_."

XL.

"_No, I'd just as lief stand; I've been sitting down all day_."

XLI.

"_Funny how people always confide their love-affairs to me_!"

XLII.

"_I'd rather be blind than deaf--it's such a tax on your
friends_."

XLIII.

_"I haven't played a game of billiards for two years, but I'll try,
just for the fun of it_."

XLIV.

"_If you could only write stories the way you tell them, you'd make
your fortune as an author_."

XLV.

"_Nothing can stop a cold, unless you take it right at the
start_."

XLVI.

"_He's told that lie so often that he believes it himself, now_."

XLVII.

"_If you stay here a year you'll never want to go back_."

XLVIII.

"_Don't worry; that won't help matters any_."

* * * * *

Sulphites are agreed upon most of the basic facts of life, and this
common understanding makes it possible for them to eliminate the
obvious from their conversation. They have found, for instance, that
green is restful to the eyes, and the fact goes without saying, in a
hint, in a mere word. They are aware that heat is more disagreeable
when accompanied by a high degree of humidity, and do not put forth
this axiom as a sensational discovery. They have noticed the
coincidences known as mental telepathy usual in correspondence, and
have long ceased to be more than mildly amused at the occurrence of the
phenomenon. They do not speak in awe-struck voices of supernatural
apparitions, for of all fiction the ghost story is most apt to be
bromidic, nor do they expect others to be impressed by their strange
dreams any more than with their pathological symptoms. Hypnotism, they
are convinced, has attained the standing of a science whose rationale
is pretty well understood and established, and the subject is no longer
an affording subject for anecdote. Sulphites can even listen to tales
of Oriental magic, miraculously-growing trees, disappearing boys and
what-not, without suggesting that the audience was mesmerized. Above
all, the Sulphite recognizes as a principle that, if a story is really
funny, it is probably untrue, and he does not seek to give an adjuvant
relish to it, by dilating with verisimilitude upon the authenticity of
the facts in the case. But your Bromide is impressive and asserts, "I
knew the man that died!" The Sulphite, too, has little need for
euphemisms. He can speak of birth and death without metaphor.

But to the Bromide all such matters of fact and fancy are perpetually
picturesque, and, a discoverer, he leaps up and shouts out
enthusiastically that two and two are four, and defends his statement
with eloquent logic. Each scene, each incident has its magic
spell--like the little woolly toy lamb, he presses the fact, and
"_ba--ba_" the appropriate sentiment comes forth. Does he have,
back in the shadows of his mind, perhaps, the ghost of a perception
that the thing has been said before? Who can tell! But, if he does,
his vanity exorcises the spirit. Bromides seldom listen to one
another; they are content with talk for talk's sake, and so escape
all chance of education. It is this fact, most likely, which has
endowed the bromidiom with immortality. Never heard, it seems always
new, appropriate, clever.

No, it Isn't so much the things they say, as the way they say them! Do
you not recall the smug, confident look, the assurance of having said a
particularly happy thing? They come inevitably as the alarm clock; when
the hands of circumstance touch the hour, the bromidic remark will
surely go off.

* * * * *

But, lest one make too much of this particular symptom, let us consider
a few other tendencies. The Bromide has no surprises for you. When you
see one enter a room, you must reconcile yourself to the inevitable. No
hope for flashes of original thought, no illuminating, newer point of
view, no sulphitic flashes of fancy--the steady glow of bromidic
conversation and action is all one can hope for. He may be wise and
good, he may be loved and respected--but he lives inland; he puts not
forth to sea. He is there when you want him, always the same.

Bromides also enjoy pathological symptoms. They are fond of describing
sickness and death-bed scenes. "His face swelled up to twice its
natural size!" they say, in awed whispers. They attend funerals with
interest and scrutiny.

* * * * *

We are all born with certain bromidic tendencies, and children are the
greatest bromides in the world. What boy of ten will wear a collar
different from what his school-mates are all wearing? He must conform
to the rule and custom of the majority or he suffers fearfully. But, if
he has a sulphitic leaven in his soul, adolescence frees him from the
tyrannical traditions of thought. In costume, perhaps, men still are
more bromidic than women. A man has, for choice, a narrow range in
garments--for everyday wear at most but four coats, three collars and
two pairs of shoes.

Fewer women become Sulphites. The confession is ungallant and painful,
but it must be made. We have only to watch them, to listen--and to
pity.

But stay! If there is anything in heredity, women should be most
sulphitic. For of all Bromides Adam was the progenitor, while Eve was a
Sulphite from the first!

Alice in Wonderland, however, is the modern type--a Bromide amidst
Sulphites.

* * * * *

What, then, is a Sulphite? Ah, that is harder to define. A Sulphite is
a person who does his own thinking, he is a person who has surprises up
his sleeve. He is explosive. One can never foresee what he will do,
except that it will be a direct and spontaneous manifestation of his
own personality.

You cannot tell them by the looks. Sulphites come together like drops
of mercury, in this bromidic world. Unknown, unsuspected groups of them
are scattered over the earth, and we never know where we are going to
meet them--like fireflies in Summer, like Americans in Europe. The
Bromide we have always with us, predicating the obvious. The Sulphite
appears uncalled.

* * * * *

But you must not jump to the conclusion that all Sulphites are
agreeable company. This is no classification as of desirable and
undesirable people. The Sulphite, from his very nature, must
continually surprise you by an unexpected course of action. He must
explode. You never know what he will say or do. He is always sulphitic,
but as often impossible. He will not bore you, but he may shock you.
You find yourself watching him to see what is coming next, and it may
be a subtle jest, a paradox, or an atrocious violation of etiquette.

* * * * *

All cranks, all reformers, and most artists are sulphitic. The insane
asylums are full of Sulphites. They not only do ordinary things in
unusual ways, but they do unusual things in ordinary ways. What is more
intensely sulphitic than, when you have said your farewells, to go
immediately? Or, as you swim out to rescue a drowning girl, to keep
your pipe burning, all the while? They do not attempt to "entertain"
you, but let you choose your own pastime. When they present a gift, it
has either rhyme or reason to it. Their letters are not passed about to
be read by the family.

* * * * *

Hamlet was a Sulphite; Polonius a Bromide. Becky Sharp was sulphitic;
Amelia Sedley bromidic. So we might follow the line of cleavage between
the two groups in Art, Religion and Politics. Compare, for instance,
President Roosevelt with his predecessor in office--the Unexpected
versus the sedate Thermometer of Public Opinion. Compare Bernard Shaw
with Marie Corelli--one would swear that their very brains were
differently colored! Their epigrams and platitudes are merely the
symptoms of different methods of thought. One need not consult one's
prejudice, affection or taste--the Sulphitic Theory explains without
either condemning or approving. The leopard cannot change his spots.

* * * * *

But if, along with these contrasts, we take, for example, Lewis Carroll
as opposed to Dr. Johnson, we are brought up against an extraordinary
inconsistency. It is, however, only an apparent paradox--beneath it
lies a vital principle. Dr. Johnson was, himself, a Sulphite of the
Sulphites, but how intensely bromidic were his writings! One yawns to
think of them. As for Lewis Carroll, in his classic nonsense, so
sulphitic as often to be accused by Bromides of having a secret
meaning, his private life was that of a Bromide. Read his biography and
learn the terrors of his formal, set entertainments to the little girls
whom he patronized! They knew what to expect of him, and he never,
however agreeably, disappointed them. No, unfortunately a Sulphite does
not always produce sulphitic art. How many writers we know who are more
interesting than their work! How many who are infinitely less so! Your
professional humorist is usually a dull, melancholy fellow in his
private life--and a clergyman may preach infant damnation and be a
merry father at home.

* * * * *

Such considerations point inevitably to the truth that our theory
depends essentially not upon action or talk, but upon the quality and
rationale of thought. It is a question of Potentiality, rather than of
Dynamics. It is the process of reasoning which concerns us, not its
translation into conduct. A man may be a devoted supporter of Mrs.
Grundy and yet be a Sulphite, if he has, in his own mind, reached an
original conclusion that society needs her safeguards. He may be the
wildest-eyed of Anarchists and yet bromidic, if he has accepted
another's reasons and swallowed the propaganda whole.

It will be doubtless through a misconception of this principle that the
first schism in the Sulphitic Theory arises. Already the cult has
become so important that a newer heretic sect threatens it. These
protestants cannot believe that there is a definite line to be drawn
between Sulphites and Bromides, and hold that one may partake of a dual
nature. All such logic is fatuous, and founded upon a misconception of
the Theory.

* * * * *

There is, however, a subtlety which has perhaps had something to do
with confusing the neophyte. It is this: Sulphitism and Bromidism are,
symbolically, the two halves of a circle, and their extremes meet. One
may be so extremely bromidic that one becomes, at a leap, sulphitic,
and _vice versa_. This may be easily illustrated.

* * * * *

Miss Herford's inimitable monologues, being each the apotheosis of some
typical Bromide--a shopgirl, a country dressmaker, a bargain-hunter and
so on--become, through her art, intensely sulphitic. They are
excruciatingly funny, just because she represents types so common that
we recognize them instantly. Each expresses the crystallized thought of
her particular bromidic group. Done, then, by a person who is herself a
Sulphite _par excellence_, the result is droll. "One has," says
Emerson, "but to remove an object from its environment and instantly it
becomes comic."

* * * * *

The same thing is done less artistically every day upon the vaudeville
stage. We love to recognize types; and what Browning said of beauty:

We're made so that we love
First, when we see them painted,
Things we have passed
Perhaps a hundred times nor cared to see

can be easily extended to our sense of humor in caricature. A recent
hit upon the variety stage does still more to illustrate the problem.

The "Cherry Sisters" aroused immense curiosity by an act so bromidic as
to be ridiculous. Were they rank amateurs, doing their simple best, or
were they clever artists, simulating the awkward crudeness of country
girls? That was the question. In a word, were they Sulphites or
Bromides?

What such artists have done histrionically, Hillaire Belloc has done
exquisitely for literature in his "Story of Manuel Burden." This tale,
affecting to be a serious encomium upon a middle class British
merchant, shows plainly that all satire is, in its essence, a sulphitic
juggling with bromidic topics. It is done unconsciously by many a
simple rhymester whose verses are bought by Sulphites and read with
glee.

* * * * *

In the terminology of our theory we must, therefore, include two new
terms, describing the variation of intensity of these two different
states of mind. The extremes meet at the points of Nitro-Bromidism and
Hypo-Sulphitism, respectively. Intensity of Bromidism becomes, then,
Nitro-Bromidism, and we have seen how, through the artist's, or through
a Sulphite's subtle point of view, such Nitro-Bromide becomes
immediately sulphitic.

By a similar reasoning, a Hypo-Sulphite can, at a step, become
bromidic. The illustration most obvious is that of insanity. We are not
much amused, usually, by the quaint modes of thought exhibited by
lunatics and madmen.

It cannot be denied, however, that their processes of thought are
sulphitic; indeed, they are so wildly original, so fanciful, that we
must denominate all such crazed brains, Hypo-Sulphites. Such persons
are so surprising that they end by having no surprises left for us. We
accept their mania and cease to regard it; it, in a word, becomes
bromidic. So, in their ways, are all cranks and eccentrics, all whose
set purpose is to astonish or to shock. We end by being bored at their
attitudes and poses.

* * * * *

The Sulphite has the true Gothic spirit; the Bromide, the impulse of
the classic. One wonders, relishing the impossible, manifesting himself
in characteristic, spontaneous ways; the other delights in rule and
rhythm, in ordered sequences, in authority and precedent, following the
law. One carves the gargoyle and ogrillion, working in paths untrod,
the other limits himself to harmonic ratios, balanced compositions, and
to predestined fenestration. One has a grim, _naïf_, virile humor,
the other a dead, even beauty. One is hot, the other cold. The Dark
Ages were sulphitic--there were wild deeds then; men exploded. The
Renaissance was essentially bromidic; Art danced in fetters, men looked
back at the Past for inspiration and chewed the cud of Greek thought.
For the Sulphite, fancy; for the Bromide, imagination.

* * * * *

From the fifteenth century on, however, the wave of Sulphitism rose
steadily, gradually dropping at times into little depressions of
Euphuistic manners and intervals of "sensibility" but climbing, with
the advance of science and the emancipation of thought to an ideal--the
personal, original interpretation of life. The nineteenth century
showed curiously erratic variations of the curve. From its beginning
till 1815, Sulphitism was upon the increase, while from that year till
1870 there was a sickening drop to the veriest depths of bromidic
thought. Then the Bromide infested the earth. With his black-walnut
furniture, his jig-saw and turning-lathe methods of decoration, his
lincrusta-walton and pressed terracotta, his chromos, wax flowers, hoop
skirts, chokers, side whiskers and pantalettes, went a horrific revival
of mock modesty inspired by the dying efforts of the old formulated
religious thought. And then---- when steam had had its day, impressing
its materialism upon the world; making what should be hard, easy, and
what should be easy, hard--came electricity--a new science almost
approaching a spiritual force, and, with a rush, the telephone that
made the commonplace bristle with romance! The curve of sulphitism
arose. A wave of Oriental thought lifted many to a curious
idealism--and, as so many other centuries had done before, there came
to the nineteenth a _fin de siècle_ glow that lifted up the curve
still higher. The Renaissance of thought came--came the cult of
simplicity and Mission furniture--corsets were abandoned--the automobile
freed us from the earth--the Yellow Book began, Mrs. Eddy appeared,
radium was discovered and appendicitis flourished.

* * * * *

So there are bromidic vegetables like cabbage, and sulphitic ones like
garlic. The distinction, once understood, applies to almost everything
thinkable. There are bromidic titles to books and stories, and titles
sulphitic. "The Something of Somebody" is, at present, the commonest
bromidic form. Once, as in "The Courting of Dinah Shadd" and "The
Damnation of Theron Ware," such a title was sulphitic, but one cannot
pick up a magazine, nowayears, without coming across "The ---- of ----"
As most magazines are edited for Middle Western Bromides, such titles
are inevitable. I know of one, with a million circulation, which
accepted a story with the sulphitic title, "Thin Ice," and changed it
to the bromidic words, "Because Other Girls were Free." One of O.
Henry's first successful stories, and perhaps his best humorous tale,
had its title so changed from "Cupid _à la carte_," to "A Guthrie
Wooing."

This is one of the few exceptions to the rule that a sulphitic thing
can become bromidic. Time alone can accomplish this effect. Literature
itself is either bromidic or sulphitic. The dime novel and melodrama,
with hackneyed situations, once provocative, are so easily
nitro-bromidic that they become sulphitic in burlesque and parody.

* * * * *

Metaphysically, Sulphitism is easily explained by the theory of
Absolute Age. We have all seen children who seem to be, mentally, with
greater possibility of growth than their parents. We see persons who
understand without experience. It is as if they had lived before. It is
as if they had a definite Absolute Age. We recognize and feel
sympathetic with those of our caste--with those of the same age, not in
years, but in wisdom. Now the standard of spiritual insight is the
person of a thousand years of age. He knows the relative Importance of
Things. And it might be said, then, that Bromides are individuals of
less than five hundred years; Sulphites, those who are over that age.
In some dim future incarnation, perhaps, the Bromide will leap into
sulphitic apprehension of existence. It is the person who is Absolutely
Young who says, "Alas, I never had a youth--I don't understand what it
is to be young!" and he who is Absolutely Old remarks, blithely, "Oh,
dear, I can't seem to grow up at all!" One is a Bromide and the other a
Sulphite--and this explanation illuminates the paradox.

* * * * *

The Sulphite brings a fresh eye to life. He sees everything as if for
the first time, and not through the blue glasses of convention. As if
he were a Martian newly come to earth, he sees things separated from
their environment, tradition, precedent--the dowager without her money,
the politician without his power, the sage without his poverty; he sees
men and women for himself. He prefers his own observation to any _a
priori_ theories of society. He knows how to work, but he knows, too
(what the Bromide does never), how to play, and he plays with men and
women for the joy of life, and his own particular game. Though his view
he eccentric it is his own view, and though you may avoid him, you can
never forget or ignore him.

* * * * *

And so, too, using an optical symbolism, we may speak of the Sulphite
as being refractive--every impression made upon him is split up into
component rays of thought--he sees beauty, humor, pathos, horror, and
sublimity. The Bromide is reflective, and the object is thrown back
unchanged, unanalyzed; it is accepted without interrogation. The
mirrored bromidic mind gives back only what it has taken. To use the
phraseology of Harvard and Radcliffe, the Sulphite is connotative, the
Bromide denotative.

* * * * *

But the theory is constructive rather than destructive. It makes for
content, and peace. By this philosophy one sees one's friends revealed.
Though the Bromide will never say whether he prefers dark or white
meat; though he inflict upon you the words, "Why, if two hundred years
ago people had been told that you could talk through a wire they would
have hanged the prophet for witchcraft!" though he repeats the point of
his story, rolling it over on his tongue, seeking for a second laugh;
though he says, "Dinner is my best meal"--he cannot help it. You know
he is a Bromide, and you expect no more.

* * * * *

You will notice, also, in discussing this theory with your friends,
that the Bromide will take up, with interest, only the bromidic aspect
of life. The term will amuse him, and, never thinking that it should be
applied to himself, he will use the word "Bromide" in season and out of
it. To the Sulphite, however, Sulphitism is a thing to be watched for,
cultivated, and treasured. He will search long for the needle in the
haystack, and leave the bromidiom to be observed by the careless,
thoughtless Bromide. And, as the supreme test, it may be remarked that,
should buttons be put on the market, bearing the names "Bromide" and
"Sulphite" in blue and red, a few minutes' reflection will convince the
Sulphite that, before long, all the Bromides would be wearing the red
Sulphite buttons, and all the Sulphites the blue Bromide. Such is the
rationale of the perverse.

* * * * *

Bromides we may love, and even marry. Your own mother, your sister,
your sweetheart, may be bromidic, but you are not less affectionate.
They are restful and soporific. You may not have understood them;
before you heard of the Sulphitic Theory you were annoyed at their
dullness, their dogmas, but, with this white light illuminating them,
you accept them, now, for what they are, and, expecting nothing
original from them, you find a new peace and a new joy in their
society. "You may estimate your capacity for the Comic," says
Meredith--and the statement might be applied as well to the
Bromidic--"by being able to detect the ridicule of them you love,
without loving them less."

* * * * *

The Bromide has no salt nor spice nor savor--but he is the bread of
Society, the veriest staff of life. And if, like Little Jack Horner,
you can occasionally put in your thumb and pull out a sulphitic plum
from your acquaintance, be thankful for that, too!

Nude Spock is like the fuckin' Texas Chainsaw Massacre of this place. How ridiculous that he is not worhsipped for the God he is. Fuckin' lame-os.

I'm an internet schizophrenic. Nothing really "cool" about it, but that's what I am. I'm just a friend to the person who decides to agree. Otherwise, I'm a nothing.
-- Scaredy Cat, Friday, May 23, 2003 12:59 AM (4 years ago)

oooh

yeah you know I liked Nude Spock, kinda, and if you're him you're really losing your touch

do you think nude spock would really give a flying fuck? if so, you didn't get him in the first place, dickwhistle.

If you were "nude spock", you wouldn't be so fucking mediocre, slow-witted, and boring. Srsly.

when you're fucking 85 and ready to die, nude spock will be there and you'll be all wait this is kind of weird because like wait I'm 85 and this person is lighting me on fire while his friends laugh at me as I die.

and I'll be like wait dude you didn't know it was me? Shit!

I mean, that guy was at least somewhat entertaining, not some one note johnny throwing out the same mediocre post reworded over and over. I think modestmickey with a search function is more up your alley.

xpost: yeah, see what I mean?

guys, look what I found in that essay:

XXIV.

"_This tipping system is terrible, but what can one do about it?_"

xpost he's the one that was in the video, right?

So, since I am the motherfucking (even MORE entertaining NOW nude spock-- hey ASSHOLE: Wait 5 years until you're smart and funny enough to "GET IT")-- what shall a Nude Spock (Nathan Snyder) do with himself, anyway, motherfucker? And, also, what if his number is 718-932-2071... does that mean someone is out to get him? Or are you some weird gay that is totally uncool or something? Fag? Et cetera?

ARE YOU A BROMIDE?

OR,

THE SULPHITIC THEORY

EXPOUNDED AND EXEMPLIFIED ACCORDING TO THE MOST RECENT RESEARCHES INTO
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF BOREDOM

_Including many well-known Bromidioms now in use_

BY

GELETT BURGESS, S.B.

Author of "Goops and How to Be Them," "The Burgess Nonsense Book,"
"Vivette," &c., &c.

_WITH DECORATIONS BY THE AUTHOR_

Note:
Decorations replaced with five asterisks
* * * * *

1906

_NOTE

This essay is reprinted, with revisions and enlargement additions,
from "The Sulphitic Theory" published in "The Smart Set" for April,
1906, by consent of the editors._

TO

GERTRUDE McCALL

CHATELAINE OF MAC MANOR

AND DISCOVERER OF

THE SULPHITIC THEORY

ARE YOU A BROMIDE?

The terms "Bromide" and "Sulphite" as applied to psychological rather
than chemical analysis have already become, among the _illuminati_, so
widely adopted that these denominations now stand in considerable danger
of being weakened in significance through a too careless use. The
adjective "bromidic" is at present adopted as a general vehicle, a
common carrier for the thoughtless damnation of the Philistine. The time
has come to formulate, authoritatively, the precise scope of intellect
which such distinctions suggest and to define the shorthand of
conversation which their use has made practicable. The rapid spread of
the theory, traveling from Sulphite to Sulphite, like the spark of a
pyrotechnic set-piece, till the thinking world has been over-violently
illuminated, has obscured its genesis and diverted attention from the
simplicity and force of its fundamental principles.(1) In this, its
progress has been like that of slang, which, gaining in popularity, must
inevitably decrease in aptness and definiteness.

(Footnote 1: It was in April that I first heard of the Theory from the
Chatelaine. The following August, in Venice, a lady said to me: "Aren't
these old palaces a great deal more sulphitic in their decay than they
were originally, during the Renaissance?")

In attempting to solve the problem which for so long was the despair of
philosophers I have made modest use of the word "theory." But to the
Sulphite, this simple, convincing, comprehensive explanation is more;
it is an opinion, even a belief, if not a _credo_. It is the
_crux_ by which society is tested. But as I shall proceed
scientifically, my conclusion will, I trust, effect rational proof of
what was an _a priori_ hypothesis.

* * * * *

The history of the origin of the theory is brief. The Chatelaine of a
certain sugar plantation in Louisiana, in preparing a list of guests
for her house-party, discovered, in one of those explosive moments of
inspiration, that all people were easily divided into two fundamental
groups or families, the Sulphites and the Bromides. The revelation was
apodictic, convincing; it made life a different thing; it made society
almost plausible. So, too, it simplified human relationship and gave
the first hint of a method by which to adjust and equalize affinities.
The primary theorems sprang quickly into her mind, and, such is their
power, they have attained almost the nature of axioms. The discovery,
indeed, was greater, more far-reaching than she knew, for, having
undergone the test of philosophical analysis as well as of practical
application, it stands, now, a vital, convincing interpretation of the
mysteries of human nature.

* * * * *

We have all tried our hands at categories. Philosophy is, itself, but a
system of definitions. What, then, made the Chatelaine's theory
remarkable, when Civilization has wearied itself with distinctions? The
attempt to classify one's acquaintance is the common sport of the
thinker, from the fastidious who says: "There are two kinds of
persons--those who like olives and those who don't," to the fatuous,
immemorial lover who says: "There are two kinds of women--Daisy, and
the Other Kind!"

* * * * *

Previous attempts, less fantastic, have had this fault in common: their
categories were susceptible of gradation--extremes fused one into the
other. What thinking person has not felt the need of some definite,
final, absolute classification? We speak of "my kind" and "the other
sort," of Those who Understand, of Impossibles, and Outsiders. Some of
these categories have attained considerable vogue. There is the
Bohemian versus the Philistine, the Radical versus the Conservative,
the Interesting versus the Bores, and so on. But always there is a
shifting population at the vague frontier--the types intermingle and
lose identity. Your Philistine is the very one who says: "This is
Liberty Hall!"--and one must drink beer whether one likes it or not. It
is the conservative business man, hard-headed, stubborn, who is
converted by the mind-reader or the spiritualistic medium--one extreme
flying to the other. It is the bore who, at times, unconsciously to
himself, amuses you to the point of repressed laughter. These terms are
fluent--your friends have a way of escaping from the labeled boxes into
which you have put them; they seem to defy your definitions, your
Orders and Genera. Fifteen minutes' consideration of the great
Sulphitic Theory will, as the patent medicines say, convince one of its
efficacy. A Bromide will never jump out of his box into that ticketed
"Sulphite."

* * * * *

So much comment has been made upon the terminology of this theory that
it should be stated frankly, at the start, that the words Sulphite and
Bromide, and their derivatives, sulphitic and bromidic, are themselves
so sulphitic that they are not susceptible of explanation. In a word,
they are empirical, although, accidentally it might seem, they do
appeal and convince the most skeptical. I myself balked, at first, at
these inconsequent names. I would have suggested the terms "Gothic" and
"Classic" to describe the fundamental types of mind. But it took but a
short conversation with the Chatelaine to demonstrate the fact that the
words were inevitable, and the rapid increase in their use has proved
them something more real than slang--an acceptable and accepted
terminology. Swallow them whole, therefore, and you will be so much
better for the dose that, upon finishing this thesis you will say,
"Why, _of course_ there are no other words possible!"

Let us, therefore, first proceed with a general statement of the theory
and then develop some of its corollaries. It is comparatively easy to
define the Bromide; let us consider his traits and then classify the
Sulphite by a mere process of exclusion.

* * * * *

In this our world the Bromides constitute, alas! by far the larger
group. In this, the type resembles the primary bodies or other systems
of classification, such as the Philistines, the Conservatives, the
Bores and so on, _ad nauseam_. The Bromide does his thinking by
syndicate. He follows the main traveled roads, he goes with the crowd.
In a word, they all think and talk alike--one may predicate their
opinion upon any given subject. They follow custom and costume, they
obey the Law of Averages. They are, intellectually, all peas in the
same conventional pod, unenlightened, prosaic, living by rule and rote.
They have their hair cut every month and their minds keep regular
office hours. Their habits of thought are all ready-made, proper,
sober, befitting the Average Man. They worship dogma. The Bromide
conforms to everything sanctioned by the majority, and may be depended
upon to be trite, banal and arbitrary.

So much has a mere name already done for us that we may say, boldly,
and this is our First Theorem: that all Bromides are bromidic in every
manifestation of their being. But a better comprehension of the term,
and one which will perhaps remove the taint of malediction, will be
attained if we examine in detail a few essential bromidic tendencies.
The adjective is used more in pity than in anger or disgust. The
Bromide can't possibly help being bromidic--though, on the other hand,
he wouldn't if he could.

* * * * *

The chief characteristic, then, seems to be a certain reflex
psychological action of the bromidic brain. This is evidenced by the
accepted bromidic belief that each of the ordinary acts of life is, and
necessarily must be, accompanied by its own especial remark or opinion.
It is an association of ideas intensified in each generation by the
continual correlation of certain groups of brain cells. It has become
not only unnecessary for him to think, but almost impossible, so deeply
these well-worn paths of thought have become. His intellectual
processes are automatic--his train of thought can never get off the
track.

* * * * *

A single illustration will suffice for analysis. You have heard it
often enough; fie upon you if you have said it!

"_If you saw that sunset painted in a picture, you'd never believe it
would be possible!_"

* * * * *

It must be borne distinctly in mind that _it is not merely because
this remark is trite that it is bromidic_; it is because that, with
the Bromide, the remark is _inevitable_. One expects it from him,
and one is never disappointed. And, moreover, it is always offered by
the Bromide as a fresh, new, apt and rather clever thing to say. He
really believes, no doubt, that it is original--it is, at any rate,
neat, as he indicates by his evident expectation of applause. The
remark follows upon the physical or mental stimulus as the night the
day; he cannot, then, be true to any other impulse. Originality was
inhibited in him since his great-grandmother's time. He has "got the
habit."

Accepting his irresponsibility, and with all charity to his undeveloped
personality, we may note a few other examples of his mental reflexes.
The list is long, but it would take a large encyclopaedia to exhaust
the subject. The pastime, recently come into vogue, of collecting
Bromidioms,(1) is a pursuit by itself, worthy enough of practice if one
appreciates the subtleties of the game and does not merely collate
hackneyed phrases, irrespective of their true bromidic quality. For our
purpose in elucidating the thesis in hand, however, we need cull but a
few specimens, leaving the list to be completed by the reader at his
leisure.

(Footnote 1: For this apt and cleverly coined word I am indebted to Mr.
Frank O'Malley of the New York "Sun," who has been one of the most
ardent and discriminating collectors of Bromidioms.)

* * * * *

If you both happen to know Mr. Smith of Des Moines, the Bromide
inevitably will say:

"_This world is such a small place, after all, isn't it_?"

The Bromide never mentions such a vulgar thing as a birth, but

"_The Year Baby Came_."

The Bromide's euphemisms are the slang of her caste. When she departs
from her visit, she says:

_"I've had a perfectly charming time."_

_"It's SO good of you to have asked me_!"

"_Now, DO come and see us_!"

And when her caller leaves, her mind springs with a snap to fasten the
time-worn farewell:

"_Now you have found the way, do come often_!"

And this piece of ancient cynicism has run through a thousand changes:

"_Of course if you leave your umbrella at home it's sure to
rain!_"

But comment, to the Sulphite, is unnecessary. These remarks would all
be in his Index Epurgatorius, if one were necessary. Except in jest it
would never even occur to him to use any of the following remarks:

* * * * *

I.

"_I don't know much about Art, but I know what I like._"

II.

"_My mother is seventy years old, but she doesn't look a day over
fifty._"

III.

"_That dog understands every word I say._"

IV.

"_You'll feel differently about these things when you're
married!_"

V.

"_It isn't money, it's the PRINCIPLE of the thing I object to._"

VI.

"_Why aren't there any good stories in the magazines, nowadays?_"

VII.

"_I'm afraid I'm not educated up to Japanese prints._"

VIII.

"_The Japanese are such an interesting little people!_"

IX.

"_No, I don't play chess. I haven't got that kind of a brain_."

X.

"_No, I never intend to be married_."

XI.

"_I thought I loved him at the time, but of course it wasn't really
love_."

XII.

"_Funny how some people can never learn to spell_!"

XIII.

"_If you'd only come yesterday, this room was in perfect order_."

XIV.

"_I don't care for money--it's what I can do with it_."

XV.

"_I really oughtn't to tell this, but I know you understand_."

XVI.

"_Why, I know you better than you know yourself_!"

XVII.

"_Now, this thing really happened_!"

XVIII.

"_It's a great compliment to have a child fond of you_."

XIX.

"_The Salvation Army reaches a class of people that churches never
do_."

XX.

"_It's bad enough to see a man drunk--but, oh! a woman_!"

XXI.

"_It's a mistake for a woman to marry a man younger than
herself--women age so much faster than men. Think what she'll be,
when he's fifty!_"

XXII.

"_Of course if you happen to want a policeman, there's never one
within miles of you._"

XXIII.

"_It isn't so much the heat (or the cold), as the humidity in the
air._"

XXIV.

"_This tipping system is terrible, but what can one do about it?_"

XXV.

"_I don't know what we ever did without the telephone!_"

XXVI.

"_After I've shampooed my hair I can't do a thing with it_!"

XXVII.

"_I never read serials_."

XXVIII.

"_No, let me pay! I've got to change this bill anyway_."

XXIX.

"_You're a sight for sore eyes_!"

XXX.

"_Come up and see us any time. You'll have to take pot-luck, but
you're always welcome_."

XXXI.

"_There are as many chances to get rich in real estate as there ever
were--if you only knew where to find them_."

XXXII.

"_I'd rather have a good horse than all the automobiles made._"

XXXIII.

"_The price of autos is bound to come down sooner or later, and then
you won't see horses except in menageries._"

XXXIV.

"_I'd rather go to a dentist than have my photograph taken._"

XXXV.

"_Did you ever know of a famous man's son who amounted to
anything?_"

XXXVI.

"_The most ignorant Italian laborer seems to be able to appreciate
art._"

XXXVII.

"_I want to see my own country before I go abroad_."

XXXVIII.

"_Yes, but you can live in Europe for half what you can at home_."

XXXIX.

"_You can live twenty years in New York and never know who your next
door neighbor is_."

XL.

"_No, I'd just as lief stand; I've been sitting down all day_."

XLI.

"_Funny how people always confide their love-affairs to me_!"

XLII.

"_I'd rather be blind than deaf--it's such a tax on your
friends_."

XLIII.

_"I haven't played a game of billiards for two years, but I'll try,
just for the fun of it_."

XLIV.

"_If you could only write stories the way you tell them, you'd make
your fortune as an author_."

XLV.

"_Nothing can stop a cold, unless you take it right at the
start_."

XLVI.

"_He's told that lie so often that he believes it himself, now_."

XLVII.

"_If you stay here a year you'll never want to go back_."

XLVIII.

"_Don't worry; that won't help matters any_."

* * * * *

Sulphites are agreed upon most of the basic facts of life, and this
common understanding makes it possible for them to eliminate the
obvious from their conversation. They have found, for instance, that
green is restful to the eyes, and the fact goes without saying, in a
hint, in a mere word. They are aware that heat is more disagreeable
when accompanied by a high degree of humidity, and do not put forth
this axiom as a sensational discovery. They have noticed the
coincidences known as mental telepathy usual in correspondence, and
have long ceased to be more than mildly amused at the occurrence of the
phenomenon. They do not speak in awe-struck voices of supernatural
apparitions, for of all fiction the ghost story is most apt to be
bromidic, nor do they expect others to be impressed by their strange
dreams any more than with their pathological symptoms. Hypnotism, they
are convinced, has attained the standing of a science whose rationale
is pretty well understood and established, and the subject is no longer
an affording subject for anecdote. Sulphites can even listen to tales
of Oriental magic, miraculously-growing trees, disappearing boys and
what-not, without suggesting that the audience was mesmerized. Above
all, the Sulphite recognizes as a principle that, if a story is really
funny, it is probably untrue, and he does not seek to give an adjuvant
relish to it, by dilating with verisimilitude upon the authenticity of
the facts in the case. But your Bromide is impressive and asserts, "I
knew the man that died!" The Sulphite, too, has little need for
euphemisms. He can speak of birth and death without metaphor.

But to the Bromide all such matters of fact and fancy are perpetually
picturesque, and, a discoverer, he leaps up and shouts out
enthusiastically that two and two are four, and defends his statement
with eloquent logic. Each scene, each incident has its magic
spell--like the little woolly toy lamb, he presses the fact, and
"_ba--ba_" the appropriate sentiment comes forth. Does he have,
back in the shadows of his mind, perhaps, the ghost of a perception
that the thing has been said before? Who can tell! But, if he does,
his vanity exorcises the spirit. Bromides seldom listen to one
another; they are content with talk for talk's sake, and so escape
all chance of education. It is this fact, most likely, which has
endowed the bromidiom with immortality. Never heard, it seems always
new, appropriate, clever.

No, it Isn't so much the things they say, as the way they say them! Do
you not recall the smug, confident look, the assurance of having said a
particularly happy thing? They come inevitably as the alarm clock; when
the hands of circumstance touch the hour, the bromidic remark will
surely go off.

* * * * *

But, lest one make too much of this particular symptom, let us consider
a few other tendencies. The Bromide has no surprises for you. When you
see one enter a room, you must reconcile yourself to the inevitable. No
hope for flashes of original thought, no illuminating, newer point of
view, no sulphitic flashes of fancy--the steady glow of bromidic
conversation and action is all one can hope for. He may be wise and
good, he may be loved and respected--but he lives inland; he puts not
forth to sea. He is there when you want him, always the same.

Bromides also enjoy pathological symptoms. They are fond of describing
sickness and death-bed scenes. "His face swelled up to twice its
natural size!" they say, in awed whispers. They attend funerals with
interest and scrutiny.

* * * * *

We are all born with certain bromidic tendencies, and children are the
greatest bromides in the world. What boy of ten will wear a collar
different from what his school-mates are all wearing? He must conform
to the rule and custom of the majority or he suffers fearfully. But, if
he has a sulphitic leaven in his soul, adolescence frees him from the
tyrannical traditions of thought. In costume, perhaps, men still are
more bromidic than women. A man has, for choice, a narrow range in
garments--for everyday wear at most but four coats, three collars and
two pairs of shoes.

Fewer women become Sulphites. The confession is ungallant and painful,
but it must be made. We have only to watch them, to listen--and to
pity.

But stay! If there is anything in heredity, women should be most
sulphitic. For of all Bromides Adam was the progenitor, while Eve was a
Sulphite from the first!

Alice in Wonderland, however, is the modern type--a Bromide amidst
Sulphites.

* * * * *

What, then, is a Sulphite? Ah, that is harder to define. A Sulphite is
a person who does his own thinking, he is a person who has surprises up
his sleeve. He is explosive. One can never foresee what he will do,
except that it will be a direct and spontaneous manifestation of his
own personality.

You cannot tell them by the looks. Sulphites come together like drops
of mercury, in this bromidic world. Unknown, unsuspected groups of them
are scattered over the earth, and we never know where we are going to
meet them--like fireflies in Summer, like Americans in Europe. The
Bromide we have always with us, predicating the obvious. The Sulphite
appears uncalled.

* * * * *

But you must not jump to the conclusion that all Sulphites are
agreeable company. This is no classification as of desirable and
undesirable people. The Sulphite, from his very nature, must
continually surprise you by an unexpected course of action. He must
explode. You never know what he will say or do. He is always sulphitic,
but as often impossible. He will not bore you, but he may shock you.
You find yourself watching him to see what is coming next, and it may
be a subtle jest, a paradox, or an atrocious violation of etiquette.

* * * * *

All cranks, all reformers, and most artists are sulphitic. The insane
asylums are full of Sulphites. They not only do ordinary things in
unusual ways, but they do unusual things in ordinary ways. What is more
intensely sulphitic than, when you have said your farewells, to go
immediately? Or, as you swim out to rescue a drowning girl, to keep
your pipe burning, all the while? They do not attempt to "entertain"
you, but let you choose your own pastime. When they present a gift, it
has either rhyme or reason to it. Their letters are not passed about to
be read by the family.

* * * * *

Hamlet was a Sulphite; Polonius a Bromide. Becky Sharp was sulphitic;
Amelia Sedley bromidic. So we might follow the line of cleavage between
the two groups in Art, Religion and Politics. Compare, for instance,
President Roosevelt with his predecessor in office--the Unexpected
versus the sedate Thermometer of Public Opinion. Compare Bernard Shaw
with Marie Corelli--one would swear that their very brains were
differently colored! Their epigrams and platitudes are merely the
symptoms of different methods of thought. One need not consult one's
prejudice, affection or taste--the Sulphitic Theory explains without
either condemning or approving. The leopard cannot change his spots.

* * * * *

But if, along with these contrasts, we take, for example, Lewis Carroll
as opposed to Dr. Johnson, we are brought up against an extraordinary
inconsistency. It is, however, only an apparent paradox--beneath it
lies a vital principle. Dr. Johnson was, himself, a Sulphite of the
Sulphites, but how intensely bromidic were his writings! One yawns to
think of them. As for Lewis Carroll, in his classic nonsense, so
sulphitic as often to be accused by Bromides of having a secret
meaning, his private life was that of a Bromide. Read his biography and
learn the terrors of his formal, set entertainments to the little girls
whom he patronized! They knew what to expect of him, and he never,
however agreeably, disappointed them. No, unfortunately a Sulphite does
not always produce sulphitic art. How many writers we know who are more
interesting than their work! How many who are infinitely less so! Your
professional humorist is usually a dull, melancholy fellow in his
private life--and a clergyman may preach infant damnation and be a
merry father at home.

* * * * *

Such considerations point inevitably to the truth that our theory
depends essentially not upon action or talk, but upon the quality and
rationale of thought. It is a question of Potentiality, rather than of
Dynamics. It is the process of reasoning which concerns us, not its
translation into conduct. A man may be a devoted supporter of Mrs.
Grundy and yet be a Sulphite, if he has, in his own mind, reached an
original conclusion that society needs her safeguards. He may be the
wildest-eyed of Anarchists and yet bromidic, if he has accepted
another's reasons and swallowed the propaganda whole.

It will be doubtless through a misconception of this principle that the
first schism in the Sulphitic Theory arises. Already the cult has
become so important that a newer heretic sect threatens it. These
protestants cannot believe that there is a definite line to be drawn
between Sulphites and Bromides, and hold that one may partake of a dual
nature. All such logic is fatuous, and founded upon a misconception of
the Theory.

* * * * *

There is, however, a subtlety which has perhaps had something to do
with confusing the neophyte. It is this: Sulphitism and Bromidism are,
symbolically, the two halves of a circle, and their extremes meet. One
may be so extremely bromidic that one becomes, at a leap, sulphitic,
and _vice versa_. This may be easily illustrated.

* * * * *

Miss Herford's inimitable monologues, being each the apotheosis of some
typical Bromide--a shopgirl, a country dressmaker, a bargain-hunter and
so on--become, through her art, intensely sulphitic. They are
excruciatingly funny, just because she represents types so common that
we recognize them instantly. Each expresses the crystallized thought of
her particular bromidic group. Done, then, by a person who is herself a
Sulphite _par excellence_, the result is droll. "One has," says
Emerson, "but to remove an object from its environment and instantly it
becomes comic."

* * * * *

The same thing is done less artistically every day upon the vaudeville
stage. We love to recognize types; and what Browning said of beauty:

We're made so that we love
First, when we see them painted,
Things we have passed
Perhaps a hundred times nor cared to see

can be easily extended to our sense of humor in caricature. A recent
hit upon the variety stage does still more to illustrate the problem.

The "Cherry Sisters" aroused immense curiosity by an act so bromidic as
to be ridiculous. Were they rank amateurs, doing their simple best, or
were they clever artists, simulating the awkward crudeness of country
girls? That was the question. In a word, were they Sulphites or
Bromides?

What such artists have done histrionically, Hillaire Belloc has done
exquisitely for literature in his "Story of Manuel Burden." This tale,
affecting to be a serious encomium upon a middle class British
merchant, shows plainly that all satire is, in its essence, a sulphitic
juggling with bromidic topics. It is done unconsciously by many a
simple rhymester whose verses are bought by Sulphites and read with
glee.

* * * * *

In the terminology of our theory we must, therefore, include two new
terms, describing the variation of intensity of these two different
states of mind. The extremes meet at the points of Nitro-Bromidism and
Hypo-Sulphitism, respectively. Intensity of Bromidism becomes, then,
Nitro-Bromidism, and we have seen how, through the artist's, or through
a Sulphite's subtle point of view, such Nitro-Bromide becomes
immediately sulphitic.

By a similar reasoning, a Hypo-Sulphite can, at a step, become
bromidic. The illustration most obvious is that of insanity. We are not
much amused, usually, by the quaint modes of thought exhibited by
lunatics and madmen.

It cannot be denied, however, that their processes of thought are
sulphitic; indeed, they are so wildly original, so fanciful, that we
must denominate all such crazed brains, Hypo-Sulphites. Such persons
are so surprising that they end by having no surprises left for us. We
accept their mania and cease to regard it; it, in a word, becomes
bromidic. So, in their ways, are all cranks and eccentrics, all whose
set purpose is to astonish or to shock. We end by being bored at their
attitudes and poses.

* * * * *

The Sulphite has the true Gothic spirit; the Bromide, the impulse of
the classic. One wonders, relishing the impossible, manifesting himself
in characteristic, spontaneous ways; the other delights in rule and
rhythm, in ordered sequences, in authority and precedent, following the
law. One carves the gargoyle and ogrillion, working in paths untrod,
the other limits himself to harmonic ratios, balanced compositions, and
to predestined fenestration. One has a grim, _naïf_, virile humor,
the other a dead, even beauty. One is hot, the other cold. The Dark
Ages were sulphitic--there were wild deeds then; men exploded. The
Renaissance was essentially bromidic; Art danced in fetters, men looked
back at the Past for inspiration and chewed the cud of Greek thought.
For the Sulphite, fancy; for the Bromide, imagination.

* * * * *

From the fifteenth century on, however, the wave of Sulphitism rose
steadily, gradually dropping at times into little depressions of
Euphuistic manners and intervals of "sensibility" but climbing, with
the advance of science and the emancipation of thought to an ideal--the
personal, original interpretation of life. The nineteenth century
showed curiously erratic variations of the curve. From its beginning
till 1815, Sulphitism was upon the increase, while from that year till
1870 there was a sickening drop to the veriest depths of bromidic
thought. Then the Bromide infested the earth. With his black-walnut
furniture, his jig-saw and turning-lathe methods of decoration, his
lincrusta-walton and pressed terracotta, his chromos, wax flowers, hoop
skirts, chokers, side whiskers and pantalettes, went a horrific revival
of mock modesty inspired by the dying efforts of the old formulated
religious thought. And then---- when steam had had its day, impressing
its materialism upon the world; making what should be hard, easy, and
what should be easy, hard--came electricity--a new science almost
approaching a spiritual force, and, with a rush, the telephone that
made the commonplace bristle with romance! The curve of sulphitism
arose. A wave of Oriental thought lifted many to a curious
idealism--and, as so many other centuries had done before, there came
to the nineteenth a _fin de siècle_ glow that lifted up the curve
still higher. The Renaissance of thought came--came the cult of
simplicity and Mission furniture--corsets were abandoned--the automobile
freed us from the earth--the Yellow Book began, Mrs. Eddy appeared,
radium was discovered and appendicitis flourished.

* * * * *

So there are bromidic vegetables like cabbage, and sulphitic ones like
garlic. The distinction, once understood, applies to almost everything
thinkable. There are bromidic titles to books and stories, and titles
sulphitic. "The Something of Somebody" is, at present, the commonest
bromidic form. Once, as in "The Courting of Dinah Shadd" and "The
Damnation of Theron Ware," such a title was sulphitic, but one cannot
pick up a magazine, nowayears, without coming across "The ---- of ----"
As most magazines are edited for Middle Western Bromides, such titles
are inevitable. I know of one, with a million circulation, which
accepted a story with the sulphitic title, "Thin Ice," and changed it
to the bromidic words, "Because Other Girls were Free." One of O.
Henry's first successful stories, and perhaps his best humorous tale,
had its title so changed from "Cupid _à la carte_," to "A Guthrie
Wooing."

This is one of the few exceptions to the rule that a sulphitic thing
can become bromidic. Time alone can accomplish this effect. Literature
itself is either bromidic or sulphitic. The dime novel and melodrama,
with hackneyed situations, once provocative, are so easily
nitro-bromidic that they become sulphitic in burlesque and parody.

* * * * *

Metaphysically, Sulphitism is easily explained by the theory of
Absolute Age. We have all seen children who seem to be, mentally, with
greater possibility of growth than their parents. We see persons who
understand without experience. It is as if they had lived before. It is
as if they had a definite Absolute Age. We recognize and feel
sympathetic with those of our caste--with those of the same age, not in
years, but in wisdom. Now the standard of spiritual insight is the
person of a thousand years of age. He knows the relative Importance of
Things. And it might be said, then, that Bromides are individuals of
less than five hundred years; Sulphites, those who are over that age.
In some dim future incarnation, perhaps, the Bromide will leap into
sulphitic apprehension of existence. It is the person who is Absolutely
Young who says, "Alas, I never had a youth--I don't understand what it
is to be young!" and he who is Absolutely Old remarks, blithely, "Oh,
dear, I can't seem to grow up at all!" One is a Bromide and the other a
Sulphite--and this explanation illuminates the paradox.

* * * * *

The Sulphite brings a fresh eye to life. He sees everything as if for
the first time, and not through the blue glasses of convention. As if
he were a Martian newly come to earth, he sees things separated from
their environment, tradition, precedent--the dowager without her money,
the politician without his power, the sage without his poverty; he sees
men and women for himself. He prefers his own observation to any _a
priori_ theories of society. He knows how to work, but he knows, too
(what the Bromide does never), how to play, and he plays with men and
women for the joy of life, and his own particular game. Though his view
he eccentric it is his own view, and though you may avoid him, you can
never forget or ignore him.

* * * * *

And so, too, using an optical symbolism, we may speak of the Sulphite
as being refractive--every impression made upon him is split up into
component rays of thought--he sees beauty, humor, pathos, horror, and
sublimity. The Bromide is reflective, and the object is thrown back
unchanged, unanalyzed; it is accepted without interrogation. The
mirrored bromidic mind gives back only what it has taken. To use the
phraseology of Harvard and Radcliffe, the Sulphite is connotative, the
Bromide denotative.

* * * * *

But the theory is constructive rather than destructive. It makes for
content, and peace. By this philosophy one sees one's friends revealed.
Though the Bromide will never say whether he prefers dark or white
meat; though he inflict upon you the words, "Why, if two hundred years
ago people had been told that you could talk through a wire they would
have hanged the prophet for witchcraft!" though he repeats the point of
his story, rolling it over on his tongue, seeking for a second laugh;
though he says, "Dinner is my best meal"--he cannot help it. You know
he is a Bromide, and you expect no more.

* * * * *

You will notice, also, in discussing this theory with your friends,
that the Bromide will take up, with interest, only the bromidic aspect
of life. The term will amuse him, and, never thinking that it should be
applied to himself, he will use the word "Bromide" in season and out of
it. To the Sulphite, however, Sulphitism is a thing to be watched for,
cultivated, and treasured. He will search long for the needle in the
haystack, and leave the bromidiom to be observed by the careless,
thoughtless Bromide. And, as the supreme test, it may be remarked that,
should buttons be put on the market, bearing the names "Bromide" and
"Sulphite" in blue and red, a few minutes' reflection will convince the
Sulphite that, before long, all the Bromides would be wearing the red
Sulphite buttons, and all the Sulphites the blue Bromide. Such is the
rationale of the perverse.

* * * * *

Bromides we may love, and even marry. Your own mother, your sister,
your sweetheart, may be bromidic, but you are not less affectionate.
They are restful and soporific. You may not have understood them;
before you heard of the Sulphitic Theory you were annoyed at their
dullness, their dogmas, but, with this white light illuminating them,
you accept them, now, for what they are, and, expecting nothing
original from them, you find a new peace and a new joy in their
society. "You may estimate your capacity for the Comic," says
Meredith--and the statement might be applied as well to the
Bromidic--"by being able to detect the ridicule of them you love,
without loving them less."

* * * * *

The Bromide has no salt nor spice nor savor--but he is the bread of
Society, the veriest staff of life. And if, like Little Jack Horner,
you can occasionally put in your thumb and pull out a sulphitic plum
from your acquaintance, be thankful for that, too!

Oddly enough, I don't really feel compelled to wake up the real Nude Spock to bother him over your half-assed attempts to create controversy on the internet.

xpost

xpost wtf is that?

I found it on Gutenberg project - it's great

Sorry to ruin your "clever scheme" though, dude.

xxpost

Who IS Dean Jeee? "Nevermind"... hahahahahahaha sorry, Dean Jeee.

(if you KNOW who Dean Ge is, you miraculously KNOW how to pronouce his name, too)... If you don't, well, you just piss him off.

dean ge, you've been at this for, like, 2 hours. If you're seriously this drunk, why are you sitting at a computer posting on a message board? shouldn't you be among friends? is this a http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/images/A%20Cry%20or%20help%20-%20paperback.jpg? at least go outside and chase some animals or something.

oh certainly and seriously you have really put me in my place there with that thing

i'm just curious.

that's a pedophile's excuse

what shall a Nude Spock (Nathan Snyder) do with himself, anyway, motherfucker? And, also, what if his number is 718-932-2071

Some believe that trolls are "sad" in real life and hence troll on internet forums as a means of gaining attention they lack in the real world. Others feel that trolls merely partake in such actions for fun. It could be said that being sensitive to trolls denotes an inherent over-sensitivity in the "victims" of trolling, since it doesn't seem rational to get upset by what a total stranger says on an anonymous forum. It also could be stated that trolls merely realise the Internet for what it is, in being an anonymous medium. As such, victims of trolling mistake Internet forums as "real-life" communication, and probably believe that conversation in a message forum equates with real life conversation. Of course, communication within a message forum cannot wholly equate with real life communication, since one cannot always gauge the emotional state, body language, facial ticks, voice pitch and moderation, etc. of others.

DUH :/ Nice try though.

I didn't read any of that, so just give me a one-word description, would you? JOhn Justen, I'm guessing you heard some weird shit and you said something like this: fuck off, queer. Am I right?

BORING. SUB-PAR.

Best # 3ver, btw. How many phone calls as of yet, anyway? Anything? Proof? Big faggot Spock, is he?

The great thing about this is that if you were in the 718, and you did have a job, you'd be right fucked to still be awake about now. Keep up the pretense, dummy.

Hi dere. Of what is it made? Falsehood? No wait. That's you. Eh.

but it's only a quarter to 6 in the evening! on a friday!

yeah gimme a call i'm a hooker

FINITE AND INFINITE GAMES

Notes from James Carse's book 'Finite and Infinite Games'. Author unknown.

There are at least two kinds of games: finite and infinite.

A finite game is a game that has fixed rules and boundaries, that is played for the purpose of winning and thereby ending the game.

An infinite game has no fixed rules or boundaries. In an infinite game you play with the boundaries and the purpose is to continue the game.

Finite players are serious; infinite games are playful.

Finite players try to control the game, predict everything that will happen, and set the outcome in advance. They are serious and determined about getting that outcome. They try to fix the future based on the past.

Infinite players enjoy being surprised. Continuously running into something one didn't know will ensure that the game will go on. The meaning of the past changes depending on what happens in the future.

All games are inherently voluntary. There might be consequences of not playing, but there is always a choice required. Driving in the right side of the road, shaking people's hands, and paying taxes are games one has a choice about playing. There are certain rules and boundaries that appear to be externally defined, and you choose to follow them or not. If you stop following them you aren't playing the game any longer.

There is no rule that says you have to follow the rules.

All finite games have rules. If you follow the rules you are playing the game. If you don't follow the rules you aren't playing. If you move the pieces in different ways in chess, you are no longer playing chess.

Infinite players play with rules and boundaries. They include them as part of their playing. They aren't taking them serious, and they can never be trapped by them, because they use rules and boundaries to play with.

In a theatrical play the actor knows that she really isn't Ophelia. The audience knows that she really isn't Ophelia. But if she does a good job, Ophelia can express herself through the actor. The playing is most enjoyable when it is both clear that it is chosen play, that it is the actor doing it voluntarily, and at the same time it is so convincing, following the rules well enough that it seems real.

You can play finite games within an infinite game. You can not play infinite games within a finite game.

You can do what you do seriously, because you must do it, because you must survive to the end, and you are afraid of dying and other consequences. Or, you can do everything you do playfully, always knowing you have a choice, having no need to survive the way you are, allowing every element of the play to transform you, taking pleasure in every surprise you meet. Those are the differences between finite and infinite players.

These ideas are paraphrased from the delightful book:

"Finite and Infinite Games - A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility" by James P. Carse

the most threatening people turn out to be pussies, ain't it funny? my friends hurt people but i don't. I like to be a big gaywad with a lisp on tangerine-land.

THEY CALL ME THE
RHYMENOCEROUS
MY LYRICS ARE BOTTOMLESS

http://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v111/103/125/36910239/n36910239_34442287_2395.jpg

sorry, just find it a hell of a lot more entertaining

Way to do your homework, "Nude Spock". Amateur at best.

xposts

You guys sound like you really hate Nude Spock. You should make some money off him. You should write it down... yeah?

Oh, BTW, thats a link from your homepage, "Nathan Snyder". Do try to keep up.

Nathan Snyder... oh noes. What will ever happen to me now?????????

Who IS Nathan Snyder, anyway? Pix please? Jew, amirite?

OH MY GOODNESS, WHY YES IT IS! HOW SILLY OF ME TO HAF FORGOTTEN, AND FAILED TO RECOGNIZE IT AS SUCH!

Whatever. Try not to get all wound up about it. I'm sure that some cursory readers won't notice that you posted your "real name" before I did. I'd hate to ruin your fun.

xpost: Dom? Now that would be sad.

Aw, fuck, it is Dom. Sorry, jokes bruv.

6 letters in the first name, 6 letters in the last name. Sounds like a gaybody.

Passantino has more than six letters.

Now you've lost me. What is your address?

wtf dean?! Your Zappa poll seemed to be well-received and whatnot, at least I think you started it. I guess something or someone pushed the wrong button, eh? Take care yo.

Feel free to email me for it, magical "Nathan Snyder".

xpost

Hey dude, I'm smart.

I can't help it if people want to put me through the ringer.

I'm smart.

You know I'm smart.

People like the same shit as me.

This is weird Nazi bullshit.

It doesn't affect our history of sameness and smartness together.

It's retards we're dealing with here.

xpost, I will JOhn Justen, what IS your number???

I knew Gzeus. I served with Gzeus.

You, sir, are no Gzeus.

732 932 7433

Would be funny if it meant shit. I am Fucking ZEUS +1.

732 932 7433 Jenny

i totally know what elton john was talking about now

max wins.

You are not the judge of this game, friend.

Dude, my "BORING. SUB-PAR" keys are showing signs of wear. Give it a rest.

Funny that Ned Faggot started this all. (I have nothing against sticks or homosexuals, it just happens to be the most blatant idiotic taunt which rhymes with "raggett", who by the way is a totally queer bundle of sticks).

Dude, my "BORING. SUB-PAR" keys are showing signs of wear. Give it a rest.

Why don't you PROVE those "keys" exist with a picture, you boring, sub-par faggot?

lolz he knows what faggot means give him a cookie

ok i eill judy vine abf jukk tiy biw,,, oreoare fire ===== deatg

http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/penqbar.gif

"Yeah, I like it. It's good!"

xp: so gay

http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/penqbar.gif.

haha, so gay etc.

where do yu live, btw?

http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/penqbar.gif,

no prob, got it

http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/penqbar.gif'

http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/penqbar.gif

I come from Senegal.

wow
http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/penqbar.gif

Hi guys! What did I miss?

wtf!

sure, just dump all your garbage here, no one cares about the idiot thread repository

http://www.vpr.net/gfx/news/phish_pellett2.jpg

http://www.merryswankster.com/images/MikeRocksW00ks.jpg

http://www.kweevak.com/2006_graphics_articles/2006_08_03_phish_01.jpg

http://www.livemusicblog.com/images/phishfriday/phishmp3.jpg

http://astro.uchicago.edu/home/web/gd1/phish2.jpg

this is weird nazi bullshit

http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/penqbar.gif

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1431/1000787116_55475a46e9.jpg?v=0

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1103/1000787128_f58e054338.jpg?v=0

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/214/508102674_25694c15c1.jpg?v=0

the revive that had to be made

douchebage

dooshbayzh

Hall of fame

this thread is awesome

it's so impossible to tell trolls apart any more. I love the fact that the thread hurting links to is full of Aaron Zanders and Scaredy Cat

bump lol 08/03/07 NEVER 4GET

i was listening to some of murray street today that reminded me of phish (also of tool a little)

phish more liek pish

posh

bump

I never did kill myself, as it happens.

lies

How can I convince you

stop eating brains

YOU CAN'T, CAN YOU????

Depends on the quality of the marinade.