I AM EATING PEANUT BUTTER RIGHT OUT OF TEH FUCKING JAR

dean's choice to post pedro instead of puck is evidence of the wisdom of dean.

i had lunch last week with Mohammed from that season. i'm about to do his website

It's that time of year again, the festive season for which the culmination, as a friend once said, has replaced Christmas as the loneliest day of the year.

I'm referring, of course, to Pride Day -- or Pride Month, as it has mutated into now -- that gayest of times when people can act like complete faggots without getting beat up for it. Ironically, I almost got a pink slip from eye last year for trying to ignore the egregious event altogether, so this time I'll do my duty without protest, although it would probably be better for all involved if I just kept my mouth shut.

While watching the Real World reunion show on MTV recently, it occurred to me that the essential rift between the politically correct and incorrect factions of the gay community -- between the new assimilationists, who are more than eager to dumb down and commodify gay identity, and the old-school quasi-Marxist politicos, who would rather eat glass -- can be summarily exemplified by the Pedro/Puck debate.

Pedro, of course, was the openly gay Latino member of Real World San Francisco who died of AIDS during the course of the show. Puck was the crazy, blond, tattooed, straight bike courier who used his dirty finger to scoop peanut butter out of the communal jar and was generally so obnoxious he got thrown off the show.

Handsome, sanctimonious, prissy Pedro could never hide his contempt for the ways of Puck, who embodied, for him, the worst aspects of the heterosexual male. Sexy, fucked-up Puck, who always spoke his mind, no matter how offensive his thoughts, clearly disliked Pedro for exploiting every card in his hand (the race card, the class card, the gay card, the AIDS card: Gin!) and using them as leverage to turn everyone against him and ultimately have him ousted. Pedro eventually died, and President Clinton eulogized him via satellite at his funeral. Puck, after saying good riddance to Pedro, chose to slip back into obscurity.

Without getting into too much analysis, let's just say I liked Puck better. Puck is politically incorrect in the way the gay movement used to be, or in the way, for example, the great British TV series, Queer as Folk, is. Queer as Folk runs on Showcase this month to correspond with Pride -- kudos to Laura Michalchyshyn for her brave programming.

I saw the series in its entirety at Outfest in L.A. last year, and was enthralled by its refusal to whitewash gay culture, depicting gay life with all its contradictions and neuroses intact. A sexually compulsive, arrogant 29-year-old bloke shagging a 15-year-old virgin, who in turn blackmails his way into the older man's life; a 35-year-old professional who frequents the bars, taking home a one-night stand and overdosing on heroin; the irreverence and callousness of the dead man's friends at his funeral, perhaps owing partly to the casual relationship to death that AIDS has engendered in many of us. These are the gay people I have known.

How astonishing is it to see a gay man portrayed as perhaps not the best father in the world? Gay representation of late has become inundated with infants (one even made its way into a recent trailer for New York's gay and lesbian film festival), often being held in the bulbous, over-muscled arms of a couple of gym rats who in reality would never have the time, let alone the inclination, for parenting. In Queer as Folk, the promiscuous Stuart loves his offspring, but doesn't allow fathering to interfere with his sexual endeavours. Vince, Stuart's more level-headed friend, makes the chilling comment that without children and responsibility, there's nothing to stop gays from spending the rest of their lives going to bars, taking drugs and fucking each other. Stuart's response is that he'd like to die at 60 on Viagra, in the middle of a good shag.

This, then, is the crux of the gay dilemma and the issue at the heart of gay pride. When exactly do homosexuals grow up? Are we doomed to live the rest of our lives in a state of arrested development, wearing age-inappropriate clothing, propping up our sagging bodies and acting out our unresolved issues by carrying on like a bunch of morons in public? For many homosexuals, being gay is like a childhood hobby they've never outgrown, revisiting the same old issues over and over, without resolution. Maybe the reason gay men are so keen to be pictured with infants these days is not because they want them, but because they identify with them.

That's why the thought of World Pride being held this year in Rome to correspond with Holy Week is so irritating -- it's the ultimate forum for infantile acting out. The thought of a bunch of muscle queens running around in nun's habits really makes me want to go celibate and join a monastery. Not that I soon may have a choice.

The one criticism I have of Queer as Folk is that it makes gay life seem way more exciting and glamorous than it actually is in real life. Pride Week, I'm afraid, generally has the opposite effect.

peanut butter
celery
raisins

ants on a mother-lovin' LOG!!!

PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY CLUB SANDWICH IS ALWAYS A TREAT.

(d)

chunky or smooth?
i'm a chunky man.

One day you will feel old and then you really won't be able to do ANYTHING!!

-- caitlin oh no (caitx...), October 11th, 2005.

-- Laura H. (elemenopa...) (webmail), October 11th, 2005 12:09 AM. (laurah) (later) (link) (admin) (userip)

OH NO YOU BITCH

-- Hurting (Hurtingchie...), October 11th, 2005.

do you work in advertising?

-- Dickset! Dickset! Disckset! (jaso...), October 11th, 2005.

No, but obviously I should, right?

hee hee

is peanuts butters and jelly solely an american sangwich?

in england it is called

platter of jammy skidders

actually brit peanut butter is only marginally worse than brit orange juice

no one i know (in NZ) combines the two. i'm concerned i won't be able to get my fav brand of pb when i move to the US - do you guys have kraft pb?

yes. in our supermarkets there is usually like eight feet of shelf-space devoted to peanut butter.

we invented the shit

wow. we have, like, FOUR brands.

i'm bringing marmite with me. i don't want any of the weird british-import version of it.

each of our brands has at least 4 different types of peanut butter

US = the peanuts butter empire

the best peanut butter is grocery-store brands from the southern US, where they grow the nuts I guess.

"southern style" = probably w/pork fat added

4 different types??? what do you get apart from 'smoove' or 'crunchy'??

peanut butter INFUSED WITH JELLY

http://www2u.biglobe.ne.jp/~yrn/super/sp02.jpg

http://www.breaktaker.com/albums/pictures/kids/PeanutButter.jpg

years ago they did something similar here, but it obv didn't sell cuz i haven't seen it since. we are afraid of mixing our fruits and our legumes.

xpost

I am never, ever adopting that baby.

bad baby. bad bad baby.

I really miss this username - Magin 'Pedro' Johnson's magical AIDS thrfit store.

guys this VIDEO EXPLAINS IT ALL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZFG5PKw504

no sound on my work computer :(

summary: peanut butter fits perfectly into the human vagina

oh well basically, evolution is impossible because there's no new life inside peanut butter. (THANK GOD)

xpost: actually, curt1s summarizes it much better than i can

ugh

ms f0zi just poured 3 tablespoons of flaxseed oil on her waffles instead of syrup

poop alert!

4 different types??? what do you get apart from 'smoove' or 'crunchy'??

Skippy®Creamy
Skippy®Super Chunk®
Skippy® Reduced Fat Creamy
Skippy® Reduced Fat Super Chunk
Skippy® Roasted Honey Nut Creamy
Skippy® Roasted Honey Nut Super Chunk
Skippy® Natural Creamy
Skippy® Natural Super Chunk
Skippy® Squeez' It

I'm supposed to pour off the oil from "natural" right?

use it as lube

i am eating a delicious pb&j

no sir, you are sposed to stir in the natural oils! pour it out and you've effectively ruined the PB for future sessions

FACK

there was way too much to stir in

too many to choose from!

i usually pour off half the oil from natural, otherwise it's too gloopy

guys -- honey roasted peanut butter & left-over cranberry-apple relish on wheat bread == joy joy joy

pouring oil off natural peanut butter is mentalism; stir it in, and NO MATTER WHAT THE PACKAGING SAYS, DO NOT REFRIGERATE.

if you leave all the oil in AND don't refrigerate how is it not just peanut soup?!?

you stir it EVERY TIME YOU USE IT. THOROUGHLY.

THIS WORLD IS BEING RUINED BY PEOPLE TOO LAZY TO STIR THEIR PEANUT BUTTER.

i have no problem stirring it i just like for peanut butter to be a little more congealed and not runny.

then scoop from the bottom and let the oil run off before you apply to bread?

too messy.

Is Ian in a good mood today?

I AM NEVER IN A GOOD MOOD.

Would you be in a good mood if I brought you pizza?

NO.

What about LSD

i don't think i should take any psychedelics until the springtime for fear of impending mental collapse.

Oh :/

my mom gave me some sunflower seed butter. not bad?

want:
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51T58BVPFYL._SS500_.jpg

I dunno, looks like it could use a more comfortable handle, maybe one that spins so you don't hurt handsies.

still doing this.

it is like the only way i eat peanut butter!

best peanut butter

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/84/235144959_5d421f12c3.jpg

peanut butter + sriracha + cheddar on bread

you wont regret it

peanut butter on apples is da bestest

Peanut butter/lime pickle/cheese sandwich combo works pretty well.

summary: peanut butter fits perfectly into the human vagina

― Curt1s Stephens, Sunday, December 9, 2007 4:55 PM (9 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

?????

try to disprove it. you can't!

toasted peanutbutter and jalapeno sandwich = awesome

red toast: pb, honey + cayenne on toast

wow you guys. i think thorn's sounds best. however, i currently have all the ingredients for roxy's. hmm.

give it a try!!!!

toasted peanutbutter and jalapeno sandwich = awesome

^^this also sounds awesome, i'd prolly add a cheese though

Those sandwiches, this riff I invented on the guitar, and my one genuinely original astrophysical insight are the three most worthwhile things I have contributed to civilization.

Try it without cheese first though!

haha by "most" i mean "only"

ok will try

how's that working out for you?

still doing this.

― cutty, Saturday, September 13, 2008 10:50 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

what about the pb and jalapeno sandwiches, roxy?