dadz r funny 2

Hope that you were able to shake the soar throat quickly. Nothing quite like a summer cold (ok, a winter cold is like a summer cold).

Glued to the TV tonight for the preview of the ALCS. Sox should be up 2-1 but Joe Cora (aka The Jockey) send lead footed Konerko around third on a shallow single to left field with two outs. He was out by a mile. Maybe we'll do a ballgame in August; if you're interested take a look at the schedule and suggest some dates. I'm away from Aug 8-12 but free the rest of the month. School starts late - not until August 29.

We planned to go to a Sox-Blue Jays game, but then he fell off his bike and was in the hospital for a couple days. :(

my dad says "dude" a lot. and "radical". but is such a nerd... it always sounds wrong.
m.

oh well, he keeps me informed as to what passes for "good thinking" in the gop side of things. "subject: it's about time somebody said this!"
m.

I’m watching NOW on PBS with David Brancaccio – his guest is Kurt Vonnegut speaking about his humanist views.  Interesting.  He talks very reverently about Jesus but denies his existence a God. 
But get this, he says “imagine this hanging on the walls of the White House – forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  Hmmm, interesting thought as he contrasted the present day intent to just get revenge.  Then, he goes on to say that America needs more gangs – as in the gang is a surrogate for the shrinking extended family. More Hmmmm.  Then proceed to a discussion of KV’s past experience as a SAAB dealer – right car dealer – while he poses as the self-descried Luddite and mentions that Ray Bradbury doesn’t know how to drive.  Crazy.

But WOW.  What a joy to listen to free thinking, that in the end, actually makes you really think.

He has a new book “A man without a country”  Don’t know anything about it, have to look into it.  Take a look -- http://www.pbs.org/now/

Jane, sounds like Senegal is a real experience – and yes the French keyboards are nerve-wracking – so just write in French!

Love to both of you – and big hugs

Dad

WHERES MY FUCKIN BASS? I NEED THAT.

LOVE,
DAD
--

my dad writes me in all caps.

DOES HE AT LEAST LET YOU SMOKE POT IN THE HOUSE?

it feels like he's screaming at me all the time, but he says it's because his eyes are getting worse. TURN UP YOUR MONITOR'S RESOLUTION DUMBASS

t-
pls swp ktchn.
thx
dad

Plus, he'll still eat up anything with Steve Martin in it. Or De Niro.

now he sends me the talk-radio type jokes. usaully about liberals and or democrats.

http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/6519/cards23ap.jpg

Hi Theresea,

We got back home yesterday about 5 PM.  I changed my flight to travle back with Mom, which was really nice.  There was not anything sustanital that I could ahve dome by hanging around longer.

Will you please send me your airline ticket receiept, if they gave you one.  I may need it as part of accounting for funeral expenses.

Love,  Dad

http://show.imagehosting.us/show/1036708/0/nouser_1036/T1_-1_1036708.jpg

Whenever me & my dad hang out it is for a meal so we don't really have to try talking. So awkward, arrghhhhh.

http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/639/unknown5oi.jpg

However, underneath all of the forwarded addresses from all the other forwardees, I spotted this line from the original sender:

HE is the only one that can save this country from the liberals that want him removed from the government. Our great nation will not stand if we delete HIM from all aspects of our government as the atheists want.

You know, I saw this message and thought it was sweet, so I fowarded it tomy son, If I had read it closer I would have SEEN that CONSERVATIVE RHETORICAL BULLSHIT that preceded it. Don't disguise or contort the meaning of Christ with your narrow inhumane views, it makes me sick and I already told you that...don't mix George Bush and Jesus Christ with me..it won't work!

...on the new Beonce single and video?

This is a must read - it's short but very informative!

The Muslim religion in the fastest growing religion per capita in the United States, especially in the minority races!!!

Allah or Jesus? by Rick Mathes

Last month I attended my annual training session that's required for maintaining my state prison security clearance. During the training session there was a presentation by three speakers representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant and Muslim faiths, who explained each of their belief systems

I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had! to say. The Imam gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a video.

After the presentations, time was provided for questions and answers.

When it was my turn, I directed my question to the Imam and asked: "Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand that most Imams and clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy war] against the infidels of the world. And, that by killing an infidel, which is a command to all Muslims, they are assured of a place in heaven. If that's the case, can you give me the definition of an infidel?"

There was no disagreement with my statements and, without hesitation, he replied, "Non-believers!"

I responded, "So, let! me make sure I have this straight. All followers of Allah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not of your faith so they can go to Heaven. Is that correct?"

The ____expression on his face changed from one of authority and command to that of a little boy who had just gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He sheepishly replied, "Yes."

I then stated, "Well, sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine Pope John Paul commanding all Catholics to kill those of your faith or Dr.Stanley ordering Protestants to do the same in order to go to Heaven!"

The Imam was speechless.

I continued, "I also have problem with being your friend when you and your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me. Let me ask you a question. Would you rather have your Allah who tells you to kill me in order to go to Heaven or my Jesus who tells me to love you because I am going! to Heaven and He wants you to be with me?" You could have heard a pin drop as the Imam hung his head in shame.

Needless to say, the organizers and/or promoters of the 'Diversification' training seminar were not happy with Rick's way of dealing with the Islamic Imam and exposing the truth about the Muslim's beliefs.

I think everyone in the US should be required to read this, but with the liberal justice system, liberal media, and the ACLU, there is no way this will be widely publicized. Please pass this on to all your e-mail contacts.

This is a true story and the author, Rick Mathes, is a well known leader in prison ministry.

I think everyone in the US should be required to read this, but with the liberal justice system, liberal media, and the ACLU, there is no way this will be widely publicized. Please pass this on to all your e-mail contacts.

because THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT THINK THE JUSTICE SYSTEM IS LIBERAL!?!?!

he also said he's giving a multiple-choice quiz to his students and is including "ludacris" as a choice for a question about a character's name in, like, a faulkner story or something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfODSPIYwpQ

my father just sent this

>Subject: resend
>Date: Fri, 14 Apr 2006 09:22:27 -0400
>
>Guess who I ran into today?

attached is a photo of a road killed rabbit and a smashed easterbasket..

this, he thinks is funny

The first on Takings and Eminent Domain is being debated in the SC Legislature. Contact Bob Leach; District 21 representative, and State Sen. Verne Smith on this:

These two will require separate e-mail messages to be created. Remember to edit the “To” for the right person and to add your name and address (in SC).

J. Verne Smith: SLC@scsenate.org

Bob Leach: RWL@schouse.org

The second topic is the pitiful White House crap on energy

For the Senate, you must fill out their online forms, then just copy/past the text in the message box.

Jim DeMint: http://demint.senate.gov/index.cfm?FuseAction=Contact.Home

Lindsey Graham: http://lgraham.senate.gov/index.cfm?mode=contactformhttp://lgraham.senate.gov/index.cfm?mode=contactform

Now how could this make political action easier?

Renee and Nnacy,

Thanks Renee for the CD of Aimee Mann. It sounds good. The only question I have is whether her backup electric guitars are very loud. The reason I asked this is that when I first turned it on at the same volume as I play my classical CDs it was much too loud. It may be that the level classical and pop music is recorded is different. However, I don't want my ears blasted. I sent this E-Mail to Nancy because she may have seen her, so Nancy, if you've been to her concerts, let me know if her electric guitars are loud.

lol. (not wanking, rt. arm is fractured)

He didn't call for another week, but sent this email two hours later:

Mesh say the computer prob sounds like overheating and have given me permiss to check inside without affecting the warenty. Lets hope it is just a loose connection.

From: pops
Sent: Saturday, June 17, 2006 6:22 pm
To: @oberlin.edu
Cc :
Bcc :
Subject: Da Honda is Sold, Da Funk is Bought

He sold an old car for scrap metal, then went out and bought Parliament records.

i gave my dad the Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me DVD for father's day and said "hopefully this isn't representative of our own father-daughter relationship!" LOLZ

This was on the M1ch3lin Racing Calendar for May. I thought you might be interested to know where 4DT spent the raise you never.

Love,

Dad

IS MY DAD M4RISSA!?

i dont want no surgical spirits on my genitals no matter what u_u

Love Ya

dadRZA: I paid him $65,000 for a patent invalidity opinion last year
dadRZA: IT'S PAYBACK TIME!!!!!!

>
>
>Two Jewish men, Sid and Al, were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. Sid asked
>Al, "Are there any people of our faith born and raised in Mexico ?" Al
>replied, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter."
>
>When the waiter came by, Al asked him,"Are there any Mexican Jews?" and the
>waiter said, "I don't know?, I'll ask the cooks." He returned from the
>kitchen in a few minutes and said "No sir, no Mexican Jews."
>
>Al wasn't really satisfied with that and asked, "Are you absolutely sure?"
>
>The waiter, realizing he was dealing with "Gringos" gave the expected
>answer, "I will check again, Signor" and went back into the kitchen.
>While the waiter was away, Sid said,"I find it hard to believe that there
>are no Jews in Mexico , Our people are scattered everywhere."
>The waiter returned and said "Signor, the head
>cook said there is no Mexican
>Jews." "Are you certain?" Al asked once again. "I can't believe there are
>no
>Mexican Jews!"
>
>"Signor,I ask EVERYONE," replied the exasperated waiter, "All we have is
>Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews, and Grape Jews."
>
>
>
>

Arrived at Edisto Island at 5:45, go to the condo just in time for sunset -- all five of us!

CAN U SEE FIFTH PERSON?

HINT: IT IS THE GREEN BOX - THAT IS MY GRANDMOTHER!!!!!! WTF!!??!!?!?

Subject: Poetic Justice
Date: Tue, 6 Nov 2007 22:23:13 -0800

a POEM FROM A VISIONARY BASS PLAYER

The day was very subtle, everything was low-key,
The sky it was so overcast that you could barely see,
And everything slowed down to a slower frequency,
The day the bass players took over the world.
Well, they came pouring out of symphonies, orchestras and bands,
And every other kind of combo that was ever known to man,
And although it was spontaneous, you'd think it was quite planned,
The day the bass players took over the world.
Now one day the bass players, they decided to uprise,
They were tired of being sidemen to all those other guys.
So they kidnapped the horn section,
They put drugs in the drummer's drink,
And they tied up all the guitar players
With their big ol' flat-wound strings.
And on that day the world it was finally set free,
All the creatures they hung out together and interacted fretlessly,
And the air began to vibrate with such a deep tonality,
The day the bass players took over the world.

AND, THE RESPONSE, FROM AN ENLIGHTENED GUITAR PLAYER

The day was very noisy, but the sound was oh, so dull

The sky was full of various smokes and the BS detector on full

And the missed frequency harmonic howled a push and pull

The day the bass players tried to take over the world.

They came pouring out of dumpsters and from sleeping in their cars

The porta-potties emptied out behind the roadside bars

They screamed in desperation, waving fingers full of scars

The day the bass players tried to take over the world.

The day all those bass players decided to uprise

Dreaming they could play a tune like all the other guys

They tried to form a band with no horns, guitars, or drum

But all that they could manage was a boring lumpy hum

And on the day the anharmonic discord hit the air

The audiences plugged their ears and hid beneath their chairs

The bassists were oblivious and rumbled on in rage

‘Till the mighy hand of music came and swept them off the stage

And the history of melody begat another page

The day the bass players tried to take over the world.

Now the bassists have returned to their dusty little caves

The dumpsters, cars and porta-potties where they hold their little raves

We call them out from time to time to let them play a thump

For all in all we still enjoy lady’s dancing rump

Now forever we will laugh, every man, woman, boy and girl

At the day the bassists tried to take over the world.

arveeparks✧✧✧@earthl✧✧✧.n✧✧ "Music, man, that's where it's at!"
There is only one Santa, he lives in the hearts of many.
www.arveeparkband.com "Old Guys Rock!"
A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song. - Chinese proverb.

^ lyrics from Tenacious D part Deux?

dad's trying to get family reunion on alaskan bluegrass cruise!
http://www.cottagemusic.net/

Date: January 5, 2007 10:22:05 AM EST

NPR had an in depth report on the V.V., firing of Robt Kriscow (sp?), the pazz & Jop pole.. They spent a great deal of time fawning over idolitor.com pole. You owe me $46

xxxpost I'll venture 78% of people with @earthlink.net e-mail addresses are dads

Subject: $$$$ ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS-$$$$ Really - Open to Collect CASH!!!!!!

Hi Jon- attached is the letter I told you about-
please send a reply that you got this- i am trying to
have you delete it as spam that got through your
firewalls etc. . .,

Date: January 5, 2007 10:22:05 AM EST

NPR had an in depth report on the V.V., firing of Robt Kriscow (sp?), the pazz & Jop pole.. They spent a great deal of time fawning over idolitor.com pole. You owe me $46

-- Whiney G. Weingarten, Sunday, November 18, 2007 1:26 PM (2 months ago) Bookmark Link

hahahahah

dadrza: this is a hoot
dadrza: I am watching Grey's A and there is this shitty little kid with oh so yuppie parents
dadrza: Mom is played by Stephanie March
dadrza: I think that's a hoot

a HOOT!

You said you'd be out of order. Remember which Al Pacino movie that that line was bigtime?
dad

bigtime

from: dadrza
re: stupid forward my aunt sent around

That is the most racist, bigoted, self-serving commentary I have ever heard, outside of the wacko's like Lou Dobbs and his friends. I do find Andy Rooney amusing and entertaining, and I am pleased to find that he DID NOT makes the comments below. Pwned by the Internet again! Click on the link to CBS News below

http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2006/12/06/publiceye/entry2234020.shtml

Pwned by the Internet again!Pwned by the Internet again!Pwned by the Internet again!Pwned by the Internet again!Pwned by the Internet again!Pwned by the Internet again!Pwned by the Internet again!Pwned by the Internet again!Pwned by the Internet again!Pwned by the Internet again!

http://g.photos.cx/000098102-1c.gif

CASHIER: That'll be $17.99.
DAD: Hey, that's the year I was born!

wait tehrza your dad wrote 'pwned'

get him to post on nb

he cant be older/crankier than morbz

Whose dad is the youngest on here? Crut1s?

my dad is 47

that is young for a dad of a grown-ass man

ya dude my dad is like 55

barely older than Morbius!

u like grown-ass?

my dad is 58?
he already has his own version of nb but it is about people who love their cars.

jw GROUNDED!

from: dadrza
subject: Gotcha!

What's Johnny boy looking at??? Hope Cindy didn't see this.

http://blogs.trb.com/news/politics/blog/2008/09/17/McCain%20and%20Palin%20in%20Miichigan.jpg

Here is the original article. I found it quite by accident while looking for articles on her tiff about pulling out of MI.

http://www.swamppolitics.com/news/politics/blog/2008/09/sarah_palin_john_mccain_town_h.html

Johnny boy!!

dadz: "whenever i'm talking to your brother on the google chat he says 'haha' when he is laughing. very strange." i blocked him on gchat a long time ago lol.

mass text from dad:

"Listening to holly jolly christmas. Thinking o my kids! Love you all."

wtf is this even about? my dad's getting crazier

in response to me going to thailand next week:
"watch out for the hookers :)
bring a huge trashbag to jump in if they attack you."

is that a body condom ref?

http://pranks.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/20crime_slide03-425.jpg

from: dadrza
to: sister, sister's husband, tza
subject: on my way

Theresa is on the bus and they left about 15 early. See you at the drop location. Make sure you are not followed. Bring cash, small, used bills.

"I heard people say we would have a black president when pigs fly.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
100 days in and......swine flu."

I asked Dr. B****** about the coca tea -- does it work? does it have any interactions, etc.?

Answer: No comment on whether it works or not, but it does contain c*o*c*a*i*n*e, so you risk flunking a drug test. Probably best for us to stay away from it. Espectially Theresa if you are job hunting.

His advice is that altitude sickness, if we have any problem, should be mild upt to 10,000. Just stay well hydrated, get plenty of sleep, and do not engage in vigorous exercise. Bus tour of Colca Canyon is the right ticket.

Love, Dad ---- Am I getting excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it does contain c*o*c*a*i*n*e, Espectially.

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

Bus tour of Colca Canyon is the right ticket.

This shit was rad. Condors!

sis and i did a miniature hour hike along the rim trail while people were standing around watching condors and a condor flew like 5 feet over our heads from behind! it was awesome, felt the air whoosh and heard wings flap!

Nana was bragging about your success. My sister E**** is going to email you. Just respond and it will go away.

c*o*c*a*i*n*e

My dad has NEVER emailed me =(

Seems like it's tonight....RU coming over? Deb's here and the tub's not skanky. We can coolit off for the boys if you'd like.... I'll call.

Peace, Pops

Hello,

do you have a heavy jacket for your trip or do you want me to send one with P****.

Just received my first text message from my father:

D a u n t i n g  t a s k

Spaced like that and everything.

my dad's first e-mail to me ever iirc was after he accidentally drove his car off of a parking structure and totaled it, and miraculously walked away unscathed. he sent me a picture of the crumpled flipped over SUV with the subject line "AT RICK'S DRIVING ACADEMY YOU ALWAYS LAND ON YOUR HEAD".

Sorry I have been late in Answering- I think Hockey game would keep their attention best- Problem on vacation week is only Home game is their last day Sunday at 3pm(Feb26) "I could pick them up Friday afternoon-Could you meet halfway on Sunday eve??? Other Home games Friday-Feb 17th---Friday March 9th (Both at 7 oclock) and Saturday March 10th at 7 (Can work out Sunday returns if we could meet halfway (Or you guys come over on one of the Sundays) OK Hi to the gang- "Later" Ashley the "G'Pa (also I am the "Jazztruk')

my dad will never ever be on email
ever
it's some dumb thing he's committed to.

dad just signed an email to me and my brothers about an upcoming backpacking trip:

So let’s stay in touch on the details.

Pumped,

Dad

Subject: HIROMO UHARA- GIRL JAZZ PIANIST

Saw this Girl yesterday at Saratoga jazz festival-- Got the biggest ovation of anyone-Catch her on Youtube--She is scary good !!! I am the jazztruk

"jazztruk" is killing me

i can only imagine the funny emails from my dad, who is cool in an outdoorsy westcoast introvert way but has let the digital world bypass him almost entirely. i think the only way he would ever have email is if i bought him an ipad and he figured out which places in his (very urban) neighbourhood have free wifi. like hey, the library. pretty sure he doesn't know what wifi is though.

You can load pictures from digital cameras to iPads now!

^ this would be my leading selling point!

my dad pronounces onesie "once-ee" because he says "one-zee" is the american pronunciation

once-zed

http://i.imgur.com/CgnhSfB.png

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cpg4kSuWgAA_OQk.jpg

https://twitter.com/saywhatagain/status/763422476474941440

Major props for the red ball row in the middle.

http://ireadfaux.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Burgerlords-tumblr.jpg

Sharing the high tech hotel thermostat in his “rad dads” group text. pic.twitter.com/kXylN0pTk8

— Classic Dad Moves (@ClassicDadMoves) November 26, 2017

My friend’s dad had to bring an iMac abroad. Unfortunately, it didn’t fit in his carry-on. So he had to improvise. pic.twitter.com/x5LdQc407s

— Kirill Zakharov (@kirillz) January 14, 2020