bigotry in your extended family

she also went off once about how black and white people shouldn't date, and that one of their neighbor's daughter's had married a black man just to spite her father, and the marriage had clearly ended in divorce because he was black and she was white.

my little sister once put tiny braids in her hair, and they all called her aunt jemimah until she took them out.

get a few beers in my step grandfather and away he goes!

"too many beers makes me feel lazy like a nigger."

"can't stand waitin' in line at Walmart. Coloreds takin way too long to check me out! I just go put the shit back!"

tho i don't consider this coming from bigotry(even with the whole "post armed Natl Guard at the borders to cap any trespassers" bit), but rather more of a paranoid suburbanite "persecuted" white guy thing that somehow has mutated into full-on john birch levels.

my folks likely self-identify as moderate liberals, but they've lived for the past thirty years in a Klan stronghold in southeastern Pennsylvania, so this stuff is by comparison pretty mild, if not more insidious.

My grandmother hates Koreans because they look like the Japanese. I was like "But they hate the Japanese most of all!"

(they were lebanese.)

i think he's gone sober since the last time i've seen him, so i don't know if he still does it or if it was just a "funny thing" he did when drunk.

my grandma said that once about a black cleaning woman. (but not the part about her being korean obv.)

m.

no kidding.

when i was a child in south carolina, people always thought i was an uppity jew. apparently if you don't have a southern accent and aren't blonde, you are one of those damn yankees, and must be a jew.
(i was born in sc and raised catholic!)

that's almost worse than being jewish!

yesterday, my brother told my uncle that he lived between los angeles and san diego, to which my uncle said, "that's wetback country right there. sooner they put up that wall, the better."

I got that once from someone who wasn't Southern! He's from like, Ohio, I think. He just assumed because I was from NY and had a NY accent, that I was a Jew?? And I am blonde and blue eyed (not to mention the first time I met him, as clearly displayed in photographs taken that night, I was wearing a crucifix), so it was truly that his only stereotypal idea of "WHAT IS TEH JEW" was "A NEW YORKER". Wholly bizarre.

that might be changing somewhat now, since a lot more people have moved here from up morth in the past few years. still, it's still southern baptist hell.

i suppose one exception is my ADHD ex-uncle was totally homophobic and mocked "queers" every time he saw them on TV, but he and my aunt divorced around a year ago.

it should be noted that he gets a huge kick out of playing the redneck role in front of his big-city liberal relatives.

-- jaymc (jmcunnin...), December 27th, 2005.

"GIT-R-DONE!"

I also heard all the "Do you worship Mary?" questions. Thank goodness that the whole priests-who-molest-altar-boys controversy began after I graduated.

What a shock it was to go to school at Missouri and find that 65% of the student population was Catholic. I mean, Missouri. It was just one state up.

(they were lebanese.)

omg

my brother is homophobic in a weird way, like he thinx gays come from outer space or are some absurd media creation. brokeback mtn came up over the weekend and he was all "gay cowboys how ridiculous is that" and I said "hey I don't know, guys alone out on the range I always figured it was like prison..." and he just looked at me like I was nuts or said "you know John Wayne was a fag, right?" sheesh!

"GIT-R-DONE!"

out here in my hometown, those signs are EVERYWHERE and there is a big ass pickup truck always parked downtown with GIT R DONE vanity plates. I'll have to see if I can get a picture.

there was a baptist church across the street from the catholic school/parish I attended. the baptists had one of those illuminated hanging plastic-letter signs in front w/jesus messages for passing motorists. the nuns must've thought this was tacky, they were always implying that the "competition" weren't real xtians (and we know what some baptists think of papists and marian cultists).

I grew up in Kentucky so that's only borderline southern, but it does seem that southern people have a hard time telling long island accented christian people apart from jews- basically the assumption down there is that any person who "sounds like that" must be jewish. But then I was called a Yankee by my Alabama cousins for not coming from a slave state . . .

I always thought this was a Canadian thing? Maybe not.

all asians = chinese
all latinos = mexicans
all yankees = jews
all arabs = terrorists

"Uh, no what in the world made you think that?"

"Because you're not Jewish..."

so maybe it works both ways if you're in a sheltered environment

rich, ivy-league educated, liberal jews!

FYI: this is only 50 miles northwest of Philadelphia. Driving home from school I'd find the main intersection of town lined with Klansmen, some in hoods, some not, handing out pamplets and chatting with passersby.

He rooted for Houston last year.

growing up near the end of the cold war, i'd always hear about how much "better" my ancestral tsarist russia was than soviet russia. we lived in a part of brooklyn with a lot of soviet immigrants, and the stereotype was that they were tacky, rude, and flush with not-so-legally acquired income that they weren't reporting to the IRS.

The town where my parents live now is 7% non-white. The town where I grew up is 67% non-white -- 45% hispanic/latino, 20% "some other race" or "two or more races," smattering of black and American Indian.

But yeah, that last bit seems pretty common, and kind of makes sense: South and Central Americans will keep up all their internal bigotry (toward Indians, Mexicans, whoever), but when white Americans do it, they know it's not based on the same little distinctions -- it's aimed at all of them. E.g. you could be 100% Iberian and from Uruguay and be all snobby about Mexican mestizos or whatever, but when some white guys starts going off about Mexicans, you know he basically means you, too, right?

I had an English teacher in high school who was really adamant about being Iberian like that. If anyone referred to her as Mexican she's draw herself up all indignant and say "I'm Spanish." Meaning like old-Southwestern Spanish.

haha my dad's family did that too. to this day I'm not really sure if they were Spanish or Mexican.

> Subject: This is weird!
>
>
>
> Have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in
> "illegal
> immigrants" and add a few more letters, it spells out:
>
>
> 'Fuck off and go home you benefit grabbing, kid
> producing, violent,
> Spanish speaking cocksuckers and take those hairy faced,
> sandal wearing,
> bomb making, goat fucking, mutton eating, smelly rag head
> bastards with
> you.'
>
> How weird is that ??

o_OOOOOOOOO

good luck usa

wow, fam or no fam, I would make it my mission never to interact w/ that person again

See, my relatives would e-mail me that with a note on the bottom saying "Is this true??????????????"

forgot to mention i sent that to my family not the other way around

loool

Can't believe I never posted on this thread before!

Yeah I got this.

over xmas at the 3rd st promenade in LA, pops (who's liberal ex hippy) asked some asian guy to take our picture and said to us "oh, he'll take a good picture" and then said to the guy "hold down long time" in a faux asian accent. i nearly punched him.

hahaha

lol

said to the guy "hold down long time" in a faux asian accent. i nearly punched him.

my brother-in-law does this ALL THE TIME, he'll mimic the accent of whoever he talking to. unconsciously? when he starts "rapping" w/ teh black guys I want to crawl under the nearest table and/or kick his ass.

ME: You gotta stop saying ¡Hola, Señor! to the waiter.
DAD: Why? It's his language.
ME: Maybe, but he introduced himself to us in English. Besides, you sound like a Spanish Jerry Lewis.
DAD: He probably spoke to us in English because he thought we'd be uncomfortable speaking in Spanish.
ME: Yeah, little did he know.

haha

My mom tries to speak to Spanish-speakers in Italian.

clearly giving them credit for being multilingual

My future father-in-law upon seeing my fiance's 4-year-old son's light-up shoes:
"They're just like the black guys wear when they're robbing someone!"

A few minutes later, when the kid is playing Kung-Fu Panda or something, father-in-law starts making all kiiiiinds of ching-chong bing-bong noises.

He once got upset because he saw a homosexual man on TV who had the same car as him (F-150).

He can be a pretty nice guy most of the time. His wife regularly has black people as guests in their home and I've even heard him tell off his own sister for making racist comments.

I was not raised around people like this ever and have no idea how to deal.

My mom tries to speak to Spanish-speakers in Italian.

― rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max)

my mom's go-to in ANY non-english setting is "excuse me" with out the "me" part. so a waiter or bellhop or tour guide in any country gets the same "excuse" with a little hint of a made-up french accent. i think she really believes it is every other language at once, which is kind of sweet, but also kind of :/ hmmm

Ford 150s are pretty gay though.

I have my doubts about Howie Long as well.

some of yr relatives sound like Steve Martin in France: "Wheech way to ze 'otel?"

bigotry more like naiveté in your extended family

lololol @ that "man step" commercial

> Subject: Fw: Math
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> MATH TEST:
>
> OBAMA has developed a new testing system for Schools (like
> the one in
> Chicago) to finally start teaching practical math that
> these kids can
> use in real-world situations! It's about time!
>
>
> NAME: __________________________________
>
> STREET NAME: ___________________________
>
> 1.) Ramon hav a AK-47 wid a 200-roun clip. He usually
> miss 6 of every
> 10 shots and he use 13 rounds per drive-by shootin. How
> many mofos can
> Ramon ice on a drive-by befo he gotta reload?
>
> 2.) Leroy have 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sell an 8 ball
> to Antonio
> for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what be the
> street value
> of the rest of his shit?
>
> 3.) Dwayne pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per
> trick, how many tricks
> per day must each ho turn to support Dwayne's $800 per
> day Crack habit?
>
> 4.) Raul wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for
> $40,000 to
> make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make
> to gets the
> 20% upside?
>
> 5.) Desmond gets $2000 for a stolen BMW, $1500 for
> stealing a Corvette,
> and $1,000 for a 4 x 4. if he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and
> 3 4x4's, how
> many more Corvettes must he steal to make the 10k for his
> bro's bail?
>
>
> 6.) Pedro got 12 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the
> hit. If his
> common-law bitch spends $100 of his hit money per month,
> how much bread
> will be left when he get out?
>
> 7.) If a can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and each
> letter he
> paints uses 3 square feet of paint, how many letters can he
> spray on a
> subway car with three 8 oz. cans of paint with 20% paint
> left over?
>
> 8.) Tyrone knocked up 4 girls in the gang. There be 20
> girls in his
> gang. What be the perecentage of bitches Tyrone knocked up?
>
>
> 9.) LaShaunda is a lookout for the gang. LaShaunda also
> has a Boa
> Constrictor that eats 5 rats per week at a cost of $5 per
> rat. If
> LaShaunda makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks
> can she feed her snake with 7 days of looking out?
>
> 10.) Marvin steals Juan's skateboard. As Marvin skates
> away at 15 mph,
> Juan loads his 357 Magnum piece. If it takes Juan 20
> seconds to load his
> piece, how far away will Marvin be when he gets
> whacked?
>
> Student Notice: Extra credit will be given for any
> answer in English
> and the test is finished the same day.

that's not even good bad english

i got sent this from my mom in an email

http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Truth-About-US-Air-Crash-on-the-Hudson

i called her on it being racist and she freaked not realizing it was racist. she just thought it was funny. i asked her what if the ducks had big lips or slanty eyes or something.

it's good to see the new, more broad-minded race-baiting emailers open up to a changing world and embrace the hypothetical Hispanic criminals as well

Subject: FW: A toll-free phone number to keep handy

Billboard

I saw a billboard sign that said:

NEED HELP, CALL JESUS
1-800-005-3787

Out of curiosity, I did.

A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.

at least they capitalized Mexican

Not so much extended as IMMEDIATE, but:

From: dad
To: me, wife, sister, mom
Sent: Friday, November 7, 2008 10:48:30 AM
Subject: RE: Counties that voted more Republican in 2008 than in 2004

Oh great. I'm getting tired and bored with this crap.

So you don't think my "Women as Equal Financial Partners" joke was funny. You think that was disrespectful. I guess instead of "just kidding" I should have put a smiley face after it; women seem to like that.

So let's get our sense of humor back. I propose a contest to come up with some names for civil unions for as an alternative to "marriage". You guys are probably a lot more creative than I am but here's some suggestions:

1. A union between two female homosexuals who cherish each other and commit to a shared life together: Lesbond or Dyker

2. A union between two male homosexuals who cherish each other and commit to a shared life together: Fruitunion or Fudgepact

3. A union between three or more people, at least one of which is a bisexual, who cherish each other and commit to a shared life together: Swingroup or Multipair

4. A union between two people who are asexual and just want the employer and government benefits that a civil union or partnership can bring them: Prudepair

I bet you don't think this is funny either. But I do.

my posts are immediate family too

the other night i was at baseball game and my aunt kept making "this is america!" comments under her breath about this hispanic woman who was banging a pot in celebration

the correct response is "damn right! where is YR pot"