HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY FOR A WICKERMAN HJ?

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some lady friends of mine were in the bar the other night trying to find a new way to make money. something more than just a job, a hand career maybe. dominique and jon milton i think walked into some of this discussion. the ladies want to keep it pretty impersonal, free of disease and quick and easy. kinda like the ladies in the clubs with pot brownies or tamales.

the boys they talked to (myself included) thought 12$ would work. you can give them a nice tip without having to have change. of course we lowballed them (hurdy hur), but we're the one's paying.

― jaxon (jaxon), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:34 (eighteen years ago) link

btw. thread filed under 12 Foot Lizards

― jaxon (jaxon), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:36 (eighteen years ago) link

"happy ending"

― Lmaoborghini (eman), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:39 (eighteen years ago) link

$12 seems awful high.

― david allen grier (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:41 (eighteen years ago) link

also "wicked" seems open to debate

― david allen grier (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:41 (eighteen years ago) link

they said they were open to using lube. oh yeah, showing tits would be another 5$ so you can round up your tip to 20$

― jaxon (jaxon), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:43 (eighteen years ago) link

also, if anyone knows, or knows anyone who's had this happen at a "massage parlor" or a strip club, what's that gonna run you?

― jaxon (jaxon), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:44 (eighteen years ago) link

whoa whoa whoa...another $5?? jesus man, i can jerk off for free.

― PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:45 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah, but you're out at a bar after a few drinks and don't wanna go all the way home

― jaxon (jaxon), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:46 (eighteen years ago) link

your point being?

― PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:47 (eighteen years ago) link

two beers or an hj

― jaxon (jaxon), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:50 (eighteen years ago) link

how long is the line for the bathroom?

― PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:51 (eighteen years ago) link

also: two beers for $12?? remind me never to leave my broken down, post-industrial wasteland.

― PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:51 (eighteen years ago) link

i'll just take the tamale thanks.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:55 (eighteen years ago) link

i thought "tamale" was some kinda california in-joke

― PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Q: do you eat the tamale or get a wicked TJ?

― Lmaoborghini (eman), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 22:58 (eighteen years ago) link

honestly i think i would get a happier ending just eating the tamale

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:02 (eighteen years ago) link

we're getting old

― PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:04 (eighteen years ago) link

"handjob from hipster chick or tamale?" "oh tamale, definitely."

― PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:05 (eighteen years ago) link

how much would you pay for a wicked howard johnson's

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:05 (eighteen years ago) link

how much would pay for a wicked copy of "her jazz" by huggy bear

― PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:07 (eighteen years ago) link

ok now you're reaching.

― chaki (chaki), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:09 (eighteen years ago) link

there's probably quite a market for a suicidegirls-esque "massage parlor" for the right entrepeneur

― PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:10 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.minusworld.org/images/lacklusterhandjob.gif

― Songbirds of Darker Florida (cprek), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:13 (eighteen years ago) link

suicide handjobs

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:13 (eighteen years ago) link

every night

― PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:14 (eighteen years ago) link

what is the pitchfork of handjobs

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:14 (eighteen years ago) link

www.stylusmagazine.com

― PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:15 (eighteen years ago) link

I might go as high as $14, providing it's as clinical and passionless as possible.

― Songbirds of Darker Florida (cprek), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:15 (eighteen years ago) link

over-eager, painful, resulting in flaccid non-ejaculation

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:16 (eighteen years ago) link

that's what she said!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:17 (eighteen years ago) link

i think jason's ladies need some venture capitalists

― PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:18 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.majorleaguetrim.com/

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:21 (eighteen years ago) link

follow their business model.

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:22 (eighteen years ago) link

best email ive gotten in weeks: "we'll be able to do the interview between 4 and 5. after that we gotta judge a bikini contest."

― PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:24 (eighteen years ago) link

sorry, ot.

― PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:25 (eighteen years ago) link

no, i'm feeling it.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:27 (eighteen years ago) link

tmi s1ocki

― Lmaoborghini (eman), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:30 (eighteen years ago) link

is it really $60 to have someone else shave you???

― nazi bikini (harbl), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:32 (eighteen years ago) link

I have no hj data for you, Jaxon! Friend that received stripper bj reports $60. Any massage parlor info I have comes from China, so the economics would be skewed.

― ALLAH FROG (Mingus Dew), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:32 (eighteen years ago) link

well it's a hot shave combo

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:33 (eighteen years ago) link

i should get into the shaving business. lucrative!

― nazi bikini (harbl), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:34 (eighteen years ago) link

http://majorleaguetrim.com/careers.html

― killy (baby lenin pin), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:37 (eighteen years ago) link

We Offer:

* Flexible schedule.
* Excellent compensation.
* Health benefits for full-time and part-time employees.
* Mostly professional male clientele.
* Great growth opportunity.
* Fun, exciting environment.
* Cool and unique perks.

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:39 (eighteen years ago) link

apparently those are the same benefits given to my friend in the hand career

― jaxon (jaxon), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:41 (eighteen years ago) link

there is a mojor league trim here in westwood! my boss goes and gets his haircut there at lunch like every 3 weeks! ( i cant believe people cut their hair that often.)

― chaki (chaki), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:42 (eighteen years ago) link

When keeping mine short, that's about as often as I have mine done, Chaki. Let it go too much longer, and it starts to hit one of those kinda ugh in between periods of hairdom.

― ALLAH FROG (Mingus Dew), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:44 (eighteen years ago) link

eww..... growth opportunity? perks?

― killy (baby lenin pin), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:45 (eighteen years ago) link

"perks"

― nazi bikini (harbl), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:46 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah, perks. get it? perks?

― killy (baby lenin pin), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:48 (eighteen years ago) link

COCKS

― nazi bikini (harbl), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:48 (eighteen years ago) link

haha

― PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:49 (eighteen years ago) link

AND THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:50 (eighteen years ago) link

uhhh..........

http://www.sexyscissors.com/services.html

http://www.sexyscissors.com/images/hair-color.png

― killy (baby lenin pin), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:50 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.sexyscissors.com/images/massage2-350.jpg

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:52 (eighteen years ago) link

ugh she could fit another boob in between those

xpost

― nazi bikini (harbl), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:52 (eighteen years ago) link

nothing more ridiculous than a girl trying to hard to be sexy

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:53 (eighteen years ago) link

tranny trim

― nazi bikini (harbl), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:53 (eighteen years ago) link

While you relax in the barber chair let your Sexy Scissors stylist give you that lift you sometimes need in the middle of a stressful day or after a long day at work. Just 5 or 10 minutes of a well deserved massage can make your day. Have a beer, get a massage, gotta love it.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:53 (eighteen years ago) link

Have a beer, get a massage, gotta love it.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:54 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.sexyscissors.com/images/MManicure.png

awesome picture

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:54 (eighteen years ago) link

are they pressing her against the wall to keep her tits in place?

― gear (gear), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:55 (eighteen years ago) link

Gotta love it.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:56 (eighteen years ago) link

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d8/Porky%27s.png

― Lmaoborghini (eman), Wednesday, 2 August 2006 23:58 (eighteen years ago) link

http://turing.bard.edu/~me573/img/mcdonalds.jpg

― killy (baby lenin pin), Thursday, 3 August 2006 00:01 (eighteen years ago) link

no, no, no I don't. Castration anxiety overdrive!

― Damn, Atreyu! (x Jeremy), Thursday, 3 August 2006 00:02 (eighteen years ago) link

$12 does seem too high. are we talking covered with a jacket? poker faces?

― kephm (kephm), Thursday, 3 August 2006 01:14 (eighteen years ago) link

― the doaple gonger (nickalicious), Thursday, 3 August 2006 01:51 (eighteen years ago) link

remy i will loan you $5 so you can get one of these

you don't have to pay me back

― cousin larry bundgee (bundgee), Thursday, 3 August 2006 02:05 (eighteen years ago) link

seriously i know an artist girl who used to do this. she was almost like a pot dealer in a sense. she would show up at dudes offices mostly in financial district and give them a lubed wank for $50 even. but i'm sure a lot of guys threw in a tip.

i don't know if she showed tits but sex was always out of the question and she only did it during daylight hours.

― heavyweight grebt (sanskrit), Thursday, 3 August 2006 02:31 (eighteen years ago) link

$20 minimum, no tip, and another $5 for boob unveiling, $10 if anyone wants to touch.

― milo z (mlp), Thursday, 3 August 2006 02:45 (eighteen years ago) link

A great handjob might be worth $15-20. Less than great is worth nothing.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 3 August 2006 02:56 (eighteen years ago) link

As long as we're not talking calluses and no lube, a subpar handjob should be worth at least a tenner to skeevy dudes in clubs.

― milo z (mlp), Thursday, 3 August 2006 03:01 (eighteen years ago) link

dominique and jon milton i think walked into some of this discussion.

kinda curious about their thoughts on the matter!

― HPSTRKRFT (haitch), Thursday, 3 August 2006 03:05 (eighteen years ago) link

the SexyScissors blurb above actually sounds just about perfect after this 12.5 hour day... and fuck do I ever (srsly) need a haircut

― Stormy Davis (diamond), Thursday, 3 August 2006 03:08 (eighteen years ago) link

Honestly unless it's really skilled work I'd rather just have the boob reveal and do the other part myself.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 3 August 2006 03:09 (eighteen years ago) link

I think what I'm getting at here is

A HANDJOB'S A MAN'S JOB
YO JOB'S A BLOWJOB

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 3 August 2006 03:09 (eighteen years ago) link

OTM

― a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Thursday, 3 August 2006 03:27 (eighteen years ago) link

you guys are being silly.
no one really wants a handjob. ever.

― the eunuchs, Cassim and Mustafa, who guarded Abdur Ali's harem (orion), Thursday, 3 August 2006 03:57 (eighteen years ago) link

A HANDJOB'S A MAN'S JOB
YO JOB'S A BLOWJOB

haha. this was uttered sometime in the bar

no one really wants a handjob. ever.

this is true. think i've only ever enjoyed one in my life and it was more a joke than anything.

― jaxon (jaxon), Thursday, 3 August 2006 05:34 (eighteen years ago) link

"comic relief"

― HPSTRKRFT (haitch), Thursday, 3 August 2006 05:42 (eighteen years ago) link

i was in a restaurant tonight w/some friends. one of them a resident doctor. he kept getting calls from a fellow resident but he didn't want to answer. i finally yelled out "tell that dude: LOOK MAN, I'M GETTING HEAD AND I'M JUST ABOUT TO COME ALL OVER HER FACE!". the entire restaurant turned and looked at me n_n

― jaxon (jaxon), Thursday, 3 August 2006 06:10 (eighteen years ago) link

awesome

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 3 August 2006 11:51 (eighteen years ago) link

$20

― S-L-U-G (plsmith), Thursday, 3 August 2006 12:38 (eighteen years ago) link

but i'm sure a lot of guys threw in a tip.

i'll bet that cost extra.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Thursday, 3 August 2006 12:47 (eighteen years ago) link

"Yeah baby, I got the tip right here!"

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 3 August 2006 12:57 (eighteen years ago) link

this thread should have been called 'how much for beated the meat'

― no question (Mark P), Thursday, 3 August 2006 13:28 (eighteen years ago) link

LAPDANCE?

MORE LIKE CRAPDANCE!

― Alicia Titsovich (sexyDancer), Thursday, 3 August 2006 13:34 (eighteen years ago) link

jason you are a treat

― PARTYMAN (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 3 August 2006 13:53 (eighteen years ago) link

how does one advertise their services in this manner???? craigslist, i guess? men srsly pay $50 for an in-office handjob?? wtf.

― Allyzay knows where the interfacing goes. (allyzay), Thursday, 3 August 2006 14:28 (eighteen years ago) link

there's a sucker born every minute

― nazi bikini (harbl), Thursday, 3 August 2006 14:30 (eighteen years ago) link

i guess what i am asking is why am i not doing this

― Allyzay knows where the interfacing goes. (allyzay), Thursday, 3 August 2006 14:32 (eighteen years ago) link

i can't even get a decent cup of coffee in my office. god i hate working in the suburbs.

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Thursday, 3 August 2006 14:33 (eighteen years ago) link

This reminds me of a story about my gf's father:

When he first came to the U.S. and started his new job, the secretary asked him if he needed anything. Noticing that he didn't have anywhere to hang his coat, he responded "Can you get me a hooker?"

The secretary actually spent some time looking before they finally realized the mistake.

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Thursday, 3 August 2006 14:38 (eighteen years ago) link

hahaha otto

― s1ocki (slutsky), Thursday, 3 August 2006 14:47 (eighteen years ago) link

its kind of bizarre that one could be so against working a straight job that you'd be willing to go to an office anyway and milk guys like cows.

― heavyweight grebt (sanskrit), Thursday, 3 August 2006 15:17 (eighteen years ago) link

this conversation needs to stop

― cutty (mcutt), Thursday, 3 August 2006 15:19 (eighteen years ago) link

remy i will loan you $5 so you can get one of these
you don't have to pay me back

-- cousin larry bundgee (bge...) (webmail), Yesterday 8:05 PM. (bundgee) (link)

in which case…

― Damn, Atreyu! (x Jeremy), Thursday, 3 August 2006 19:20 (eighteen years ago) link

this thread went zero to creepy in 60 sec.

― Lmaoborghini (eman), Thursday, 3 August 2006 22:06 (eighteen years ago) link

"• Dad/Son Cuts $50"

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 3 August 2006 22:07 (eighteen years ago) link

more like "• Dad/~~Son~~ Cuts $50" amirite

― a name means a lot just by itself (lfam), Thursday, 3 August 2006 22:14 (eighteen years ago) link

New Jersey Exoctic Dancer Gives New Meaning to the Phrase Hand Job

― jaxon (jaxon), Friday, 4 August 2006 00:42 (eighteen years ago) link

everything about that story is just fucking wrong. WTF!?

― jaxon (jaxon), Friday, 4 August 2006 00:43 (eighteen years ago) link

Think the med student at least got a blowjob for his grave-robbing?

― milo z (mlp), Friday, 4 August 2006 01:37 (eighteen years ago) link

How much would you pay for a wicker AK?

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Friday, 4 August 2006 01:42 (eighteen years ago) link

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c374/lisacoreena/kuttlefish9bo.jpg

― Machibuse '80 (ex machina), Friday, 4 August 2006 05:05 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.we-make-money-not-art.com/yyy/1facefollow.jpg

― gbx (skowly), Friday, 4 August 2006 12:04 (eighteen years ago) link

OMG!

― A-ron Hubbard (Hurting), Friday, 4 August 2006 12:42 (eighteen years ago) link

― bb (bbrz), Friday, 4 August 2006 13:31 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.net-monster.com/wickerman_2.jpg
I'D BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR

― Alicia Titsovich (sexyDancer), Friday, 4 August 2006 14:16 (eighteen years ago) link

The Equalizer is awesome.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 4 August 2006 14:44 (eighteen years ago) link

haha. nice thread title change.

OUCHIE, IT BURNS!

― jaxon (jaxon), Friday, 4 August 2006 16:02 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.skiddle.com/gallery/albums/344/7aa1e1e39dd244cf3f7fcbf21010cbff_lg.jpg

― Alicia Titsovich (sexyDancer), Friday, 4 August 2006 17:56 (eighteen years ago) link

...alex in nyc???

― gbx (skowly), Friday, 4 August 2006 18:01 (eighteen years ago) link

not angry enough

― gear (gear), Friday, 4 August 2006 18:11 (eighteen years ago) link

two years pass...

lol admin thread title changing abilities

― jaxon, Friday, 15 August 2008 15:47 (sixteen years ago) link

yea, I reread the thread the title was so confusing

― Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Friday, 15 August 2008 16:08 (sixteen years ago) link

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