A new ILX, a new compendium of our intreped hero Tuomas staring into the vast seas of mystery.

I've never understood the point of name changes. Makes things quite confusing.
Tuomas on Wednesday, February 21, 2007 4:32 PM (39 seconds ago)

What are computer glasses?

(...)


Tuomas on Thursday, 22 February 2007 10:39 (8 hours ago)

This isn't exactly a conversation, but yesterday a pre-adolescent girl's (like 10 yrs old) cell phone rang in the deli. It played the whole Full Metal Jacket "me so horny scene." "Soul brother too boucoup" and all.

-- Chris H. (chrisherbert), Friday, June 3, 2005 2:24 AM (1 year ago)


Maybe I'm being dumb, but how is that possible? I thouht cellies had these beep-toot ringtones?

-- Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, June 3, 2005 2:30 AM (1 year ago)

I sometimes fantasize of being taken from the behind by a woman with a strap-on. It's kinda weird, because in general I'm not at all into fetishes and such stuff, my tastes in sex are pretty vanilla. Anyway, I think it'd be quite difficult to fulfill this fantasy, unless I'm in steady relationship (and maybe no even then). How the hell do you ask someone to do this?

-- Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, January 23, 2006 1:56 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

only in this case *I* am the one staring into the vast seas of mystery when I read that post

theres no mystery about that post. thats just your average tumoasbot post

That was the start of Fake Tuoumas, yes?

i think that was may have been the first release, not sure what was on the other side

This is even funnier cuz i always imagine that tuomas's posts being read aloud by goldmember.

-- M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Monday, January 23, 2006 2:28 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

What's that?

-- Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, January 23, 2006 3:56 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

I'll tell you what that is: It's Gold!

Snorggirl? Is that some superhero?

-- Tuomas, Thursday, May 24, 2007 10:12 AM (33 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

People still listen to "rock"?

-- Tuomas, Thursday, 24 May 2007 12:35 (2 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

FAKE T

Best DUDE movie.

Is that the Batvibrator?

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, June 19, 2007 11:19 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

what's the picture? i can't see it here.

-- pisces, Tuesday, June 19, 2007 11:01 AM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

It's a still from a previously unseen replicant sex scene.

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, June 19, 2007 11:17 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

in context that last one's pretty funny actually

Then again, I'm pretty bad at remembering anyone's faces. Just the other day some girl came to talk to me on the tram, but I had no idea who she was, so I just tried to pretend I remembered her, and I was thinking "Who the hell is she? I hope she isn't someone I've fooled around with and then forgotten..." It was only after I left the tram I remembered that she was someone I knew from the uni, I'd even stayed overnight at her place at a pyjama party.

(xx-post)

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, June 26, 2007 2:05 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

then singing in a nasalized "head" voice.

Is this the voice women make when they receive head? That would explain so much.

Do you BelieEEHEEve in life after love...

-- Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, January 19, 2006 6:14 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

wow. just wow.

ok thats kind of great

I've said this before but I'm pretty sure he's mostly messing with everyone by this point.

I THINK DUDE IS A FEMINIST SUPER GENIUS W/ MAJOR GRANT MONEY RUNNING EXPERIMENTS ON US

OR PERHAPS A LOVABLE MORON.

GUYS I FIGURED IT OUT

http://img.worsethanfailure.com/images/200707/blocked.png

Wow this thread! I should check the noise board more often.

I can't even remember writing that "head" thing. What thread is it from?

nice

I should check the noise board more often.

no.

pHinn believes indie types from the United States and the U.K. need a haven -- even if it exists solely in their minds -- where they can hide from the ugly, post-9/11 world their countries have created. That place is exotic Finland, and you can get there by listening to hip bands with wondrously unpronounceable names like Kemialliset Ystävät, the Anaksimandros, and Avarus.

http://www.clevescene.com/2007-07-04/music/cosmic-or-drunk

Ugh not Avarus

Kemialliset Ystävät: so good
that sub-Wire ad copy: so cringe-inducing

According to a festival diary written by program curator and Wire contributor David Keenan, Partinen gets "drunk as hell and in everybody's face." He claims Avarus will blow the über-cool Wolf Eyes off the stage (a significant faux pas in the noise-rock scene). Several pints later, this golden beast spends "long, uncomfortable minutes" stroking a balloon like he would his own Nordic cock during Avarus' performance.

http://img262.imageshack.us/img262/9427/skolfotome6.jpg

tuomas w/paper

i would not sleep w/any of those white girls

i might with the one directly behind tuomas

she has a pretty awesome trainwreck look going on right now, tuomas for a radical feminist surely you should figure who cares if you or any of the other nerds on this thread would hit it

-- A B C, Wednesday, July 18, 2007 8:49 PM (32 minutes ago)

Ooh, tough guy! What does "awesome trainwreck look" even mean?

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, July 18, 2007 8:53 PM (29 minutes ago)

oooh tough guy

internet tough guy

argh

HONORARY

Why do men so often say to one another: "How are you, sir?" (or the like) in a jesting tone of voice?

rockist scientist is one strange cat.

lets have a thread for that genius rockist scientist

I don't think I will ever fully understand most conventional male bonding.

What's wrong with Dick van Dyke?

-- Tuomas, Thursday, July 26, 2007 11:31 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

*people of England explode*

-- CharlieNo4, Thursday, July 26, 2007 11:34 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

I thought he was fine in Nary Poppins. It's not like you'd expect realism for such a film.

-- Tuomas, Thursday, July 26, 2007 11:44 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

actually you should start a new thread for that one, call it maybe TUOMAS OTM

i was really just taking a cheap shot at his misspelling of mary as nary

i'm a bit drunk and mean tonight:

you have a new hound, you shouldnt be mean at all

http://englishrussia.com/images/submitted_photos_06/4.jpg

?

is there an image there?

<tuomas></tuomas>

nary a poppins to be found

carl graig

Why don't some web addresses start with "www"?

ILX's address, for example. There doesn't seem to be any difference between sites with or without "www", so what's the point of the whole "www" part anyway?

-- Tuomas, Friday, 10 August 2007 22:39 (31 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

world wide wonder

In Norway, in addition to cross-country skiing in the mountains and painting eggs for decorating, a contemporary tradition is to solve murder mysteries at Easter. All the major television channels show crime and detective stories (such as Agatha Christie's Poirot), magazines print stories where the readers can try to figure out who did it, and many new books are published. Even the milk cartons change to have murder stories on their sides.

1. I have saved a penalty at Highbury

-- Dr.C

I don't even know what number 1 means!

-- Tuomas, Thursday, 16 August 2007 05:40

Sometimes I almost believe in the fake Tuomas myself.

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, 21 August 2007 10:04

heh

wheels within wheels

Like a clock whose hands are sweeping past the minutes on its face.

http://www.flikflak.com/

I rarely vote for ILM polls, because they tend to be about rock bands I know little about.

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, August 21, 2007 2:40 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Er, who could actually remember which album uses which synth and which drum machine? I love electronic music, but that'd be like geekery on the next level or something.

-- Tuomas, mercredi 22 août 2007 08:21 (7 hours ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.nastynets.com/picsee/index.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mspaint.net%2Fbilder%2F

surprise ned ragget cameo in vemmelige_naboer.PNG

1001 Happy Valley Rd.
123-45-6789
Schnitzelfendelheimrat
-- Ned Raggett, Thursday, September 6, 2007 10:53 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

12 Grimauld Place, 123-45-6987, Hearst
-- Ms Misery, Thursday, September 6, 2007 10:54 AM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

You have almost the same social security number as Ned, are you siblings?
-- Tuomas, Thursday, September 6, 2007 10:56 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

he's aiming for this thread now.

-- g®▲Ðұ, Wednesday, May 16, 2007 6:47 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Link

http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/818/hatcv8.jpg

Can someone tell me why they're called "blowjobs" in English? Don't they usually involve sucking and licking instead of blowing?

-- Tuomas, Monday, September 10, 2007 11:13 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

I dont't think I've ever heard any of these, though I'm always mixing up Kenny Rogers and Kenny G. Which one is the saxophonist?

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, September 12, 2007 1:12 PM (3 minutes ago)

loved this response, too:

kenny g is the one you find when you type "saxaphone kenny" into google

-- Filey Camp, Wednesday, September 12, 2007 1:16 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I just got my first own computer ever since I had a Commodore 64, and I'm a bit lost still.

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, September 18, 2007 3:53 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

he's been on fire today

Tuomas: See 20 MB pdf

-- Pleasant Plains, Tuesday, September 18, 2007 3:38 PM (23 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

What's that, it doesn't open for me?

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, September 18, 2007 3:39 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/8418/crocker1nn0.jpg
http://img292.imageshack.us/img292/483/crocker3bq1.jpg
http://img292.imageshack.us/img292/408/crocker2ei7.jpg

-- Cunga, Wednesday, September 19, 2007 7:04 AM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Not mine, a friend sent them to me.

-- Cunga, Wednesday, September 19, 2007 7:05 AM (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

LOL x 3

-- StanM, Wednesday, September 19, 2007 7:14 AM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I don't understand the second one, what does it refer to?

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, September 19, 2007 7:33 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i really find that implausible

http://www.itisamystery.com/iiam.gif

this thread is the laziest LOLs around.

pretty much. i'm gonna refrain from making fun of tuomas from now on.

especially when everyone on ile/ilm is like ten times as ridiculous and insane. every thread seems to turn into some lord of the flies therapy session.

This is why tyra.gif is so awesome.

tyra is a beacon of light in a dark cloudy universe

Why was the one Spice Girl who was black called "Scary Spice"?

ok i take back everything i said

Lately, this type of behavior just makes me love Tuomas.

On the whole, I would rather hear someone be like "oh, waht is an messenger" than "I am smart enuf to like some shit like Big and Rich", or some shit (dated reference, but you feel me, perhaps.)

That said:

Bot is short for robot. An automatically generated moderator. In this case, that is.

I don't get it... How can a moderator work automatically?

-- Tuomas, Monday, September 24, 2007 7:37 PM (56 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

hahahahahaha

S&D: Decepticon affiliated Rappers

lolololololololololol

It's like marrying a guy named James Cheater.

I don't get that, what doe "tmi" mean?

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, September 26, 2007 1:03 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

Watch wrong with that BBC webpage? I tried to watch the Alan Moore interview, and then it asked to me to choose whether I have Windows Media Player or Realplayer. I clicked Media Player, but then it said the video could be only watched with Realplayer. So I downloaded Realplayer, but the video still didn't work. You'd think a company the size of BBC could make their pages a bit more user friendly?

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, 26 September 2007 07:31 (4 hours ago) Link

I don't get that, what doe "tmi" mean?

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, September 26, 2007 1:03 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

-- That one guy that hit it and quit it, Wednesday, 26 September 2007 12:05 (40 minutes ago)

so perfect on so many levels

I don't even know who Edwin Collins is/was, I don't think he made any impact here.

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, 26 September 2007 14:05 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

this thread is so obsessive and weird!!

Er, it's a noise board thread...?

haha tuomas can't express confusion about anything ever, apparently

you people won't be satisfied until he is omnipotent and all-knowing

duh

s1ocki you have to at least admit that the Decepticons thread is amazing

maybe he's fucking with us at this point

maybe

I've never understood those guys who feel totally uncomfortable if they find out their girlfriend has slept with, say, 40 guys before them. Who cares, it's not like the previous dudes have set traps there!

-- Tuomas, Sunday, September 30, 2007 5:46 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.psywarrior.com/VDPoster005.jpg

i call fake tuomas

ya rly. the post before that was even weirder: something like 'i don't care if my girl is screwing around' only not 'my girl' obviously coz that would be possessive.

Anyway, I'm not very possessive when it comes to punani. If a girl I'm seeing wants to let someone else enter it, that's okay as long as she doesn't fall in love with him or anything. Of course these two things usually go together, but in theory, if you can keep sex and romantic feelings separate, only the latter is worth being jealous over. It's like the old Finnish saying, "pussy doesn't wear out by using it".

-- Tuomas, Sunday, September 30, 2007 10:40 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

old Finnish saying, "pussy doesn't wear out by using it".

I have severe doubts about the authenticity of this saying, unless the Finns had discovered birth control centuries before the rest of the world

maybe he's fucking with us at this point
-- jergïns, Wednesday, 26 September 2007

prophecy ahoy.

i think not knowing who edwin collins is makes you a normal person

^^^^^^^^^^^ truth

I miss all the colourful, baggy rave and hip-hop clothes of the early nineties. Wearing XXXL sized orange pants was fun. Also, I miss the fact that back then all the cool teen girls could wear the same baggy clothes as guys did, and they didn't have to bare their boobs and bums. Whatever happened to unisex style?

-- Tuomas, Monday, October 1, 2007 11:37 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Link

thats all ive thought since 01/01/2000. MUST BARE BOOBS AND BUMS.

Well, let me tell you about two incidents in my life:

Incident 1

I'm sharing a bed with a male friend. I've fallen asleep, but then I wake up because someone is touching me. I've got my back against my friend, and I feel his hand stroking my ass underneath my panties. My still half-asleep brain tries to figure out the situation: "I'm on a bed. He's sharing it with me. There's no one else here besides him. So, logically, that could be only his hand... I must be dreaming! I MUST BE DREAMING!!".

Amazingly, I manage to go back to sleep. In the morning I ask my friend:

"What did you dream of last night?"

"Oh, I think I had a dream about my girlfriend."

"Yeah, it figures."

Incident 2

I'm sharing a bed with a female friend. We're sleeping with our arms around each other, because we're best friends. I'm still awake. Her hand starts to move; it goes underneath my panties and grabs my dick. I'm like, "Whoa, hold on! What the fuck!". She pulls her hand of very quickly. Apparently she was already half-asleep, and thought she was lying next to her boyfriend. It figures.

Such things happen between people, that's all I'm trying to say. Neither incident was particularly traumatic, because we talked about it afterwards and had a good laugh. End of story.

-- Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, June 22, 2004 5:11 AM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

the first one is stolen from "In Every Teen Comedy Ever" and i claim my £5.

the second is for the ages. i guess her boyfriend is "not very possessive when it comes to punani."

panties

PANTIES

anyway, that excuse could work for everything. carjacking, face-kicking, hit and run etc 'uh..i thought you were my boyfriend/girlfriend' 'oh! figures!'

actually ive been looking for an excuse to carjack & face-kick tuomas

its OK if later you talk about it

we'll have a good laugh

for a second i thought 'punani' was some finnish chick

little wonder there was a craze for XXXL sized orange pants

actually ive been looking for an excuse to carjack & face-kick tuomas

-- and what, 1. lokakuuta 2007 23:02 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

its OK if later you talk about it

-- sunny successor, 1. lokakuuta 2007 23:02 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

we'll have a good laugh

-- and what, 1. lokakuuta 2007 23:03 (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nice.

plz, noise admin to user info/clone user search above "tuomas". SOLVE THE FAKE TUOMAS MYSTERY.

which is the only fun thing about board mod status now ;_;

he is real/not a clone! posting from .fi

No one really wants to face-kick Tuomas.

Why can't PCs have joysticks?

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, 2 October 2007 11:31 (Tuesday, 2 October 2007 11:31) Bookmark Link

the thing about "Incident 2" that I want to know is if it actually is common for half-asleep girls to grab their boyfriend's dick in the middle of the night. because that's never happened to me. am I missing out?

Such things happen between people. End of story.

it happens if you wear panties.

Just to make it more clear, Children of Bodom is a local death metal band. Or something like that, I'm not too familiar with metal subgenres.

-- Tuomas, Thursday, October 11, 2007 11:13 PM (27 minutes ago)

Alex, it's a bit like wanking half-asleep. You must have done that before?

Actually, hold on, no need to tell me.

dont get it. or 'get' it for that matter. who/what's wolf eyes?

-- pisces, Friday, 12 October 2007 11:29 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

Tuomas memorial thread

Curtis Mayfield's "Curtis" poll.

That was supposed to be a joke.

can you tell us when you're joking from now on

In english, it's translated as "trolling", you wacky scandahoovian.

Lady, if you have to ask...

About this whole debacle: if the stuff people have told about Luna is true (and I have little reason to doubt it isn't), then I feel kinda stupid for defending her so strongly. But you have to understand that not all of us are friends outside ILX, not all of us keep that much contact with each other, even if we'd live in the same country. I don't read people's blogs, and I've only exhcanged emails with a handful of people. To me the main source of information aboput ILXors is ILX itself. And based on what I've read here, it seemed like Chaki was accusing Luna for having fake breasts or something, which to me felt stupid. So I think the cars should be have been laid on the table earlier, instead of just dropping hints that could be interpreted in any way. The reactions of KV Nol, M. White and others suggest that I certainly wasn't the only regular ILXor who didn't know anything about this whole thing. I realize that it's a sensitive issue which is hard to talk about, but dropping snide remarks that 20 people will understand and 100 people may misunderstand, and then saying those 100 people should've known what it's about is not a good way to approach things.

Anyway, as sad is makes me feel, I'm clad that this thing is out in the open now, so at least it doesn't cause more misunderstandings and arguments between people who have nothing to do with it.

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, October 16, 2007 4:21 AM (12 hours ago) Bookmark Link

gear?

-- omar little, Tuesday, October 16, 2007 1:50 PM (Tuesday, October 16, 2007 1:50 PM) Bookmark Link

Gear is "Omar Little", apparently. I'm not sure if Dog Latin wants his new name to be revealed.

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, October 16, 2007 2:50 PM (Tuesday, October 16, 2007 2:50 PM) Bookmark Link

It's not pederasty if both are teenagers.

-- Tuomas, Thursday, 18 October 2007 07:14 (1 hour ago) Link

lolololololololololol

What's a "lawn jockey"?

-- Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, November 1, 2005 9:44 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

Ha! You've been waiting for that one, I reckon.

Er, what's the point of reviving old threads to make old jokes of someone who hasn't posted here for like a year or something?

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, 24 October 2007 09:05 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

It's the thread that has to be made

That strip is wrong btw, it's basic theological knwoledge that angels are sexless ands therefore don't have any genitals.

-- Tuomas, Monday, 29 October 2007 13:30 (18 minutes ago) Link

but he's the one providing the missing knowledge there

just noticed:

(bell labs dot jpeg)

Aw, both you and the kitty look so cute!

-- ENBB, Monday, October 1, 2007 9:02 PM (4 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

super cute! :)

-- rrrobyn, Monday, October 1, 2007 10:30 PM (4 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

bell labs kittay fotos = awesome and badass.

-- John Justen, Tuesday, October 2, 2007 3:38 AM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

yah nice work ian!

-- chaki, Tuesday, October 2, 2007 3:41 AM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

ian?

-- ken c, Tuesday, October 2, 2007 3:56 AM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

Maybe Ian (whoever he is) took the pics?

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, October 2, 2007 3:58 AM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

There used to be an ILXor called Ian too. With the username "Orion".

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, October 2, 2007 4:04 AM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

What's "Wild Turkey", btw?

-- Tuomas, Monday, 5 November 2007 00:12 (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I know he's doing it on purpose but in the interests of completeness I had to register this.

i think he genuinely doesnt know but doesnt really give a shit any more

Hahaha, I like that Tuomas has to ask about Wild Turkey, but not Lexapro. (or Saucer Crab for that matter)

-- Abbott, Monday, November 5, 2007 12:58 AM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I don't what those two are either, but I just thought they're some uninteresting technical things, whereas it seemed interesting that "Wild Turkey" looked to me not unlike something urine-like in a glass not unlike a test tube.

-- Tuomas, Monday, November 5, 2007 1:05 AM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Okay, what's Saucer Crab then? I searched the term in Wikipedia but found nothing.

-- Tuomas, Monday, November 5, 2007 1:10 AM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

It's what I named that little guy on my monitor. I am sorry the one thing you searched is something I completely made up.

-- Abbott, Monday, November 5, 2007 1:11 AM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

You can also share your general stories about STD tests here.

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, November 6, 2007 12:41 PM (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

STD tests.

he's got some good ones on the Martin Hannett thread:

FAC14p : MARTIN HANNETT : ALBUM POLL

Virgins don't need to take STD tests though, do they?

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, November 6, 2007 2:57 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I never got the point of the Mase pic. Is Mase inherently funny?

-- Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 06:43 (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

can't someone just write a script to repost everything he says here

So yeah, Britain now has a new serial killer

Tuomas confused/nervous as to why raping and murdering 300 women should see someone in prison for more than 14 years.

maximum legal sentence there was 16 years

I always thought people were harsh on him but CHRIST dude should have to put a quarter in a jar everytime he posts a question mark on ILX.

haha those this was inspired by his posts on the Brad Pitt poll, I hadn't read about the mass murderer.

though this

I don't understand that "Leeroy Jenkins" thing...

-- Tuomas, Sunday, December 9, 2007 6:48 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

tuomas, google "2 girls 1 cup" and it'll completely explain it for you.

-- forksclovetofu, Sunday, December 9, 2007 6:51 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Okay, I just did that, but it just brought up a lot more questions.

-- Tuomas, Sunday, December 9, 2007 6:54 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

lolololololol

That makes sense, noise is basically electronic music for metalheads, right?

-- Tuomas, Monday, December 10, 2007 11:28 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

gear?

-- omar little, Tuesday, October 16, 2007 1:50 PM (Tuesday, October 16, 2007 1:50 PM) Bookmark Link

Gear is "Omar Little", apparently. I'm not sure if Dog Latin wants his new name to be revealed.

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, October 16, 2007 2:50 PM (Tuesday, October 16, 2007 2:50 PM) Bookmark Link

^^^this is hall of fame

wow

Tuomas do you know who El Tomboto is

-- El Tomboto, Monday, December 10, 2007 6:35 PM (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is that the long-haired guy in the pic above?

-- Tuomas, Monday, December 10, 2007 6:36 PM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

what the fuck

taking the piss

can we be sure!

Even Finns have a sense of humor.

This is the thread where I answer to you with literal translations of obscure Finnish proverbs.

That makes sense, noise is basically electronic music for metalheads, right?

U all know this is tru rite.

^^^ Ban

:D

Wait but he's right.

u guys know nothing

I love Merzbow and I don't like metal.

read 1 history of electronic music

I love Merzbow and I love Metal but he ain't coming from there, not even remotely.

I dont think that was Tuomas's point tho, just that theres a shared fanbase I guess?

I was just stirring anyway (all my noize friends are stoner/black metal heads as well). I mean BORIS is like, depressed MBV ffs.

...I'm so bannded now arent I?

sheesh

I haven't loved Merzbow in 5 years

When was the last time you made love to Mezrzbow?

apparently 5 years ago DUH

maybe summer 2004

when was the last time you beat merzbow's pussy up?

Wild, wild, varminting photoshopping boys!

Tuomas = awesome

Hey, I just got caught up in it. Sorry Tuom.

-- The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 2 March 2004 17:00 (3 years ago) Link
Did you just pass out, or are you trying to come up with an abbreviation of my name?

-- Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 2 March 2004 17:03 (3 years ago) Link

Yeah, I remember that guy from Guns 'n Roses who always had the hat and his hair covering his face. Was he really ugly or why did he do that?

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, January 22, 2008 10:52 AM

i know it's not real anymore but i just want to believe

Did I see a Slash cameo in THE DEAD POOL

I think is probably fake Tuomas, but still:

What's an olsen twin?

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, January 22, 2008 5:20 PM (5 minutes ago)

Has Facebook improved your social life?

Did I see a Slash cameo in THE DEAD POOL

-- Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Tuesday, January 22, 2008 11:12 AM (Tuesday, January 22, 2008 11:12 AM) Bookmark Link

Yes, with Jim Carrey lipsynching to "Welcome to the Jungle".

Oh he's in that scene too? I thought he was on the boat when they were trying to fire the harpoon

That too.

Maybe he's not in the Jim Carey scene, but the rest of GN'R are in that movie except for Axl.

yea, no axl1

he's so axlusive

I don't even know who "Jame Spears" is.

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, January 22, 2008 12:40 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

So the drummer and singer from Nirvana just changed roles and became Foo Fighters?

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, January 22, 2008 11:55 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

to be fair the foo drummer does resemble kurt somewhat in that pic

to be fair

why?

God, just coming to post the Slash one.

The Nirvana thing was supposed to be a joke, because Jaymc first called the unknown guy in the pic Cobain, and Chaki then told it's the drummer from Foo Fighters.

I find it weird no one else has The Cold Vein by Can Ox on their lists, I thought it was the one undie rap album everyone agreed was great.

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, January 30, 2008 7:49 AM (41 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

When I first saw Groundhog Day the movie I didn't know Groundhog Day was an actual event in the US, I just thought it was some quirky invention of the filmmakers. So when I did a websearch for "Groundhog Day", I was mystified by all the weird websites the film had.

-- Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, February 3, 2005 3:20 AM (2 years ago)

he should just move to the US and become the finnish yakov smirnoff.

what a country!

Before:
http://images.thegauntlet.com/pics/kiss2.jpg

After:
http://www.geocities.com/dmosley1999/kiss_band_1.jpg

-- Johnny Fever, Monday, February 4, 2008 1:42 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I was thinkin' that one too.

-- our work is never over, Monday, February 4, 2008 1:53 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I can't see the first pic, what did Metallica look like before?

-- Tuomas, Monday, February 4, 2008 2:14 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

gold

fakin'

pyrite, then

ha!

(i admit, i don't find modern/fake tumoas funny, his self-aware "look at me i'm ignorant wink wink" thing mostly pisses me off. used to be good for laffs tho.)

(i admit, i don't find modern/fake tumoas funny, his self-aware "look at me i'm ignorant wink wink" thing mostly pisses me off. used to be good for laffs tho.)

Who's Tuomas?

What does bipolar mean? I know the word, but how does it apply to humans?

-- Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 17 December 2003 23:41 (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

wow.

Like, does he think cats get manic depression or something? o_0

(in fairness he went on to say he knew it as M-D but still good fr lulz)

I didn't know back in 2003 that "bipolar" had replaced the word "manic-depressive", I thought bipolar was a term that was just used to describe stuff like magnets and the planet earth, not living things. Also, nowadays in Finnish they use the term "two-way", which sounds a bit less like a physics term.

less like physics, more like porn

^^my girlfriend always gives me this advice

Well, the full Finnish term is, roughly translated, "two-way mental disorder".

off topic, but same general idea:

if you order the "cheese plate" at mcsorley's, they bring you a hunk of supermarket cheddar, half an onion and a sleeve of saltines. that plus beer is close to a great dinner.

-- tipsy mothra, Tuesday, November 6, 2007 2:10 AM (3 months ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

what is the half an onion for?

-- Tracer Hand, Tuesday, November 6, 2007 9:51 AM (3 months ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you put onion slices on the cheese with the crackers.

-- gr8080, Tuesday, November 6, 2007 9:56 AM (3 months ago) Bookmark Link

What does bipolar mean? I know the word, but how does it apply to humans?

-- Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 17 December 2003 23:41 (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

WTF PEOPLE STOP DOGPILING THIS GUY IS RAD
HE'S FINNISH FOR FUCKS SAKE, ITS NOT EVEN HIS FIRST LANGUAGE
HE'S JUST PRACTICING
IMAGINE IF YOU HAD A SECRET WORLD IN YOUR COMPUTER

it would be interesting to get another finn on ilx, just for comparison's sake.

See now, if I'd been the one to tell y'all to stop dogpiling on someone else I'd be told to fuck off.

Hypocrites.

There has only been one post.

IMAGINE IF YOU HAD A SECRET WORLD IN YOUR MIND

Do people met through dating sites count? That's the only type of "Internet people" I've had sex with.

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, February 13, 2008 4:42 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.channelfrederator.com/methminute39/episode/TMM_20070906 <-internet people

Shannon Hoon gave Axl Rose a blowjob onstage once. Maybe this happened, but it didn't appear in his obituaries and I'm not going to go searching for evidence.

(actually, this is not so much 'incapable of critical thinking', as 'there wasn't really an internet to look it up on')

-- Bocken Social Scene, Thursday, February 14, 2008 4:12 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Axl Rose is dead?!

-- Tuomas, Thursday, February 14, 2008 4:15 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

All of these look too thin for my tastes. Are there any non-skinny models?

-- Tuomas, Sunday, February 17, 2008 3:28 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.pleasantmorningbuzz.com/pics/multiplicity.gif

is this our tuomas?

http://www.last.fm/user/tuomastuomas/

Doubt it, too indie.

http://i32.tinypic.com/rgwlcj.jpg

http://www.last.fm/user/lixenixen/

Tuomas is a fairly common name here. But yeah, the Lixenixen one is mine, I wouldn't listen to bands with names like "Solar Anus", "Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti" or "Chin Up Chin Up".

Is there some rule that indie bands can't have proper names anymore? Because the names these days are all ridiculous, like Wave 'Em Like You Just Don't Hear or Succubus Jom Kippur.

Dude you like Mouse on Mars.

Well, at least it's a funny name, like a Sunday morning cartoon title or something.

Is there an english equivalent for the name "Tuomas"?

um

tuomas = john thomas

intrepid hero badg

What's an "amirite"?

-- Tuomas (Tuomas), Sunday, April 16, 2006 2:34 PM

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/149/409072350_1bab67eef5.jpg

Remember when there were still thread categories in ILX? I remember one of those categories was something like "MOMUS MOMUS MOMUS MOMUS MOMUS", and it took me quite a while to figure out what the hell that even meant. Then again, some of those categories I never did figure out before they were gone.

-- Tuomas, Monday, March 24, 2008 4:29 AM (Monday, March 24, 2008 4:29 AM) Bookmark Link

YOU DON'T SAY

-- J0rdan S., Monday, March 24, 2008 4:31 AM (Monday, March 24, 2008 4:31 AM) Bookmark Link

Anyway, I think I prefer traditional mixtapes I can give to people. Who'd listen to them online anyway?

-- Tuomas, Friday, March 28, 2008 11:14 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

if someone gave me a tape in 2008 i would be nonplussed

What is a sage? I thought it was an herb.

-- Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, November 24, 2005 5:01 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

what an herb

you pronounce herb like 'erb'?

an h-erb

it was a nonsensical pun re:sage is an herb/tuomas is a hurb

now that you mention it i think that must be fake tuomas... what kind of finnish dude would say 'an herb'?

unless he learned english from french dudes or american tv

Do people generally use penis enlargement pills and treatments?

"An herb" sounds more natural because the h is silent.

no it isn't

It is to me.

uh, no.

you use 'an' on h-words precisely when you're not sounding the 'h'.

so it's "an 'istoric" for "an historic". otherwise you sound like a dick.

whether or not the "h" is silent depends on yr regional accent. A dude from Liverpool wd def. say "an 'erb" for example.

"an historic" is kind of daily express leader writer-ese?

Not that it's really important. Like, at all.

LOL britishes. :(

whether or not the "h" is silent depends on yr regional accent. A dude from Liverpool wd def. say "an 'erb" for example.

"an historic" is kind of daily express leader writer-ese?

yeah yeah, let's Not Be Prescriptive and all that bollocks, but "an historic", spoken, is an example of overcompensation. the scouser gets it right.

I've never understood this Rick Astley thing. That's a great song.

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, April 1, 2008 6:35 PM (58 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

hahahaha

can we forget an herb and get back to o_Oing at tuomas not know what a sage is?

Why would Axl leave Guns'n'Roses for "Velvet Revolver"?

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, April 2, 2008 9:33 AM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

fake!

That was a joke.

Of course Morrissey is racist. Everyone knows old people are racist. And based on the pic in that article Morrisey is now quite old. Maybe he's still trying to cling to the idea of being of a youthful pop star by saying he's not racist. He should just admit he's old and racist.

-- Tuomas, Thursday, 3 April 2008 10:51 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

I'm sorry, I don't know what that post was about.

-- Tuomas, Thursday, 3 April 2008 10:51 (59 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Retar-Dex. It's a medicine of some sort.

-- Tuomas, Monday, April 7, 2008 3:26 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

you should take it!

-- s1ocki, Monday, April 7, 2008 3:27 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Link

The only time I've seen a stripper her boobs were bare, not covered by hair. I thought that was the whole idea?

-- Tuomas, Friday, April 11, 2008 2:17 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

have you ever rubbed one out at work?

Poll Closing Date: Wednesday, April 16, 2008 7:00 PM

I've talked to a couple of guys who nonchalantly told me that they have. I have not, and I thought it was weird.
Yes
No

-- Jesse, Friday, April 11, 2008 11:52 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I don't know what "rubbed one out" means, do I want to know?

-- Tuomas, Friday, April 11, 2008 11:53 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

Is it like masturbating?

-- Tuomas, Friday, April 11, 2008 11:53 AM (40 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

ile missing person dept:

Also, wasn't there a poster called Killy a year or so ago? She seems to have disappeared too.

-- Tuomas, Friday, April 11, 2008 11:51 AM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

hahah wait synergy!

Also, wasn't there a poster called Killy a year or so ago? She seems to have disappeared too.

-- Tuomas, Friday, April 11, 2008 11:51 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

JW had her rubbed out.

-- Rock Hardy, Friday, April 11, 2008 11:57 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

JW had her rubbed out.

-- Rock Hardy, Friday, April 11, 2008 11:57 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Like "erased"?

-- Tuomas, Friday, April 11, 2008 11:57 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

hes clearly just baiting me today but from excelsior:

The only time I've seen a stripper her boobs were bare, not covered by hair. I thought that was the whole idea?

-- Tuomas, Friday, April 11, 2008 9:17 AM (Friday, April 11, 2008 9:17 AM) Bookmark Link

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

-- Mr. Que, Friday, April 11, 2008 9:20 AM (Friday, April 11, 2008 9:20 AM) Bookmark Link

-- chicago kevin, Friday, April 11, 2008 11:37 AM (25 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I didn't get that, what's so funny about typing "shut up" in caps?

-- Tuomas, Friday, April 11, 2008 12:02 PM (5 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

what is horse? I assume it's a drug from the context but why would anyone call a drug after a horse?

-- Grandpont Genie, Friday, April 25, 2008 12:20 PM (29 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Is Burma-Shave some shaving cream? What does it have to do with tight vaginas?

-- Tuomas, Wednesday, December 5, 2007 2:39 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

Then June became JULY: WDYLL

:(

give it up for the master

Basement Jazz
Chemical Brothers
En Vogue

-- Tuomas, Thursday, August 21, 2008 2:50 PM (59 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

"linkin' park"

How many of you can name members of Basement Jaxx, Chemical Bros, or En Vogue off the top of your heads then?

Tom Rolands?

Felix Buxton, Simon Ratcliffe

Okay, I can see why they called themselves "En Vogue" instead of "Rolands, Buxton & Ratcliffe".

Tom Rolands?

-- FAX ME, Friday, 22 August 2008 06:44 (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Tom Rowlands. I couldn't tell you what the other guy out of the chem bros is called and I couldn't tell you wether Rowlands is the blond guy or the dark haired one either.

Dawn Robinson and Teri Ellis are the only two members of En Vogue I can always remember. I think there's a Cindy...?

I've always wondered, why is American football called "football", if the ball is mostly held in hand?

-- Tuomas, Tuesday, 26 August 2008 10:47

http://www.cshp-bc.com/events/2005_Events/AGM05/thinking_man2.jpg

wait till he gets a load of our "parkways" and "driveways"

Please don't include me in your world of starbucks and "twitter" (whatever that is) - I don't read aspirational magazines, unless you count Country Life. I'm a middle aged woman who works in an office. I've learned to constantly be surprised by people.

this thread should be expanded to include the pinefox

^^^^^^^^

seriously... his visiting dignitary from an alien civilization act is pretty tired

AFAIK it's not an act.

omg what civilization is he from??

The UK.

(sorry)

There's no civilisation in the UK. Trust me, I've just been on a bus ride to one of it's *cough* cultural centres during the half term holidays.

http://www.allpvr.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/GortKlaatumessage.jpg

i dunno, i kinda like the fact that the pinefox is pretty much the only one left of the original freakytrigger crew. i mean, who'd a thought! the pinefox!

i realize that he's britisher og but lately he's been coming on very strong with his alien diplomat routine. terribly sorry chap but wot is an interstate heavens don't let's argue, pour a cuppa

an exact transcript, btw

I think Pinefox is kinda endearing, but sometimes it's hard to believe he's not doing a schtick here.

I prefer his alien diplomat schtick to his quasi-racist schtick, for sure.

I thought pf was irish

One of those Oscar Wilde/GB Shaw/Morrissey irishes

Irish Blood, Pinefox Heart

http://www.connollyco.com/discography/ringo_starr/goodnight_hi.jpg

ITT-------> PICTURES OF PRESIDENT OBAMA AND THE FIRST FAMILY (no shops allowed)

Does ITT mean 'in this thread' maybe?

and why no shops? I don't get it.

― the pinefox, Tuesday, November 11, 2008 9:21 AM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark

suggest ban

I think Pinefox is kinda endearing, but sometimes it's hard to believe he's not doing a schtick here.

― Tuomas, Tuesday, October 28, 2008 8:28 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

this is gold

What does "hitting F5" mean? Is this some sort of weird sex-related euphemism I haven't yet heard of?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 29 July 2004 13:09 (4 years ago)

i am so gonna hit F5 tonight bro

'The Wire', wtf is that anyway?

― the pinefox, Monday, March 10, 2008 8:19 AM (8 months ago)

pinefox is tuomas' wingman in bewilderment

select baffling text > right click > Search Google for "baffling text"
Come on guys, it's not hard!

What is "Ned" short for?

Seriously, what is a douchebag? I always thought douches were sprays. I have no first-hand (or even second) experience with douches, but the expression baffles me.

― The Huckle-Buck (Horace Mann), Thursday, April 8, 2004 10:13 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I don't know who Black Francis is, but Mark E. Smith is the worst vocalist I've ever heard in my life, so I assume this other guy must be better.

― Tuomas, Monday, December 15, 2008 5:08 PM (29 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

HE SURE HATES "ROCK."

I do like some good rock singers, but Mark Smith sounds like a drunkard mumbling to himself.

What's "reverse cowgirl"?

― Tuomas, Thursday, March 15, 2007 3:25 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

youtube links as poll options

Ha, I am pretty sure I learned the phrase "reverse cowgirl" from Matos on an ILX thread from like 2003.

heartwarming

i can see jaymc carefully thinking "better make it clear it was 'on an ilx thread'" while writing that post

lol

as opposed to "on his lap"

excellent shits that i have taken

okay wtf

you mean wts

whoa

I guess he was joking (?)

miss u boo

if i read this thread it might get a little dusty

...misty, perhaps?

yeah dusty is for when you want to pretend it's not getting misty

going on record as saying he should come back with a new username and a totally new schtick.

ill be missing u

he's already re-reg'd as 'kunal garg' with an indian IP (must be a proxy)

going on record as saying he should come back with a new username and a totally new schtick

wait for n/l tuomas dropping nabisco-style science on y'all

http://oolongiv.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/2010pic2.gif

Tuomas, 0229 GMT Friday morning.

lol

http://www.the-mathom-house.com/images/Gandalf_the_white_in_Fangorn.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v655/lixnixn/demo.jpg

"Are those..miniature people?"

;-)

thought Simmons was British?

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 5 October 2010 12:52 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

What does TS mean? Or OTM?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, February 13, 2004 7:41 AM (6 years ago)

Sorry, the second one was answered in the original post. But what's TS?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, February 13, 2004 7:42 AM (6 years ago)

tough shit?

― Ste (Fuzzy), Friday, February 13, 2004 7:43 AM (6 years ago)

Tough Shit? When are you supposed to use it then?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, February 13, 2004 7:44 AM (6 years ago)

"Taking Sides".

― Sarah (starry), Friday, February 13, 2004 7:44 AM (6 years ago)

Ah!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, February 13, 2004 7:45 AM (6 years ago)

Sorry, "Titty Soap".

― Sarah (starry), Friday, February 13, 2004 7:45 AM (6 years ago)

I'd buy that for a dollar!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, February 13, 2004 7:47 AM (6 years ago)

Bah, I give up! This thread is more confusing than enlightening, removing the bookmark.

― Tuomas, Tuesday, January 25, 2011 5:35 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://blog.cleveland.com/metro/2011/03/identifying_photocopy_machine.html

Marburger: During your tenure in the computer department at the Recorder's office, has the Recorder's office had photocopying machines?

Cavanagh: Objection.

Marburger: Any photocopying machine?

Patterson: When you say "photocopying machine," what do you mean?

Marburger: Let me be -- let me make sure I understand your question. You don't have an understanding of what a photocopying machine is?

Patterson: No. I want to make sure that I answer your question correctly.

Cavanagh: Dave, I'll object to the tone of the question. You make it sound like it's unbelievable to you that he wouldn't know what the definition of a photocopy machine is.

Marburger: I didn't ask him to define it. I asked him if he had any.

Patterson: When you say "photocopying machine," what do you mean?

Marburger: If you feel stupid, it's not because I'm making you feel that way. !!

At first I thought I'd never heard Pearl Jam, but then I remembered you couldn't really escape "Jamie Had a Gun" (or whatever that song was called) back in the early 90s.

― Tuomas, Monday, April 11, 2011 11:37 AM Bookmark

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxL1qB8TI5c

a+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

L
M
A
O

http://www.suburbanapologist.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Animals-Will-Be-Stoned-Album-Cover.jpg
― Johnny Fever, Wednesday, May 11, 2011 9:14 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Yeah, that one doesn't beat the Alex Moulton cover by Boris Vallejo, even though it's okay.

One particular thing that makes this "Justice of the Unicorns" cover inferior is that the eagleman has a weird lower body! Based on the upper body you'd expect him to have human legs too, but then they should be shown in the picture, and they aren't. Of course he could have eagle legs instead, but even those should be visible in the pic! Unless Vallejo got some kind of an unexpected biological insight, and realized that even a mutant eagleman should be a tetrapod, and therefore the "legs" are actually his hands (while the wings are his "true" hands). But that would be kinda weird too! It looks more like he just didn't bother to figure out the lower body, so he just decided to cover it with an "artistic" blur.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, May 11, 2011 10:36 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

tuomas otm

i currently dont know what numlock does

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyPgb1WkDSA

^ do you know them?

So Google+ is some kind of a Facebook type of thing? I remember seeing it mentioned on ILX, but I thought it was just an advanced version of Google search.

― Tuomas, Tuesday, September 6, 2011 4:03 AM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark

Oh come on! Even I know Nona Hendryx is a brunette.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, May 15, 2013 4:26 AM (7 months ago)