lord custos tribute thread

like this?

Oh good lord, We had better be nice to King Raggett of Orange (County) as he's directly behind Us in the succession, and therefore most likely to want Us to come to some bad ends...

How lovely to see you, King Raggett! Would you care for some entertainment? Minstrels? I hear the Earl of Devon has Minstrels Boom and Pierce performing... Have some wine!

Her Royal Highness Queen Kate (kate)

give it fifteen years, you'll hear a newstory about a naked, gibbering Dana Carvey being discovered in the fetal position atop of George Bush's grave, gnawing on his fingernails.

DANA: babble, gah gah, munch...
SECURITY GUARD: Mr. Carvey, Mr. Carvey...
(gently pulls DANA's hands away from his mouth)
SECURITY GUARD: You're just chewing bone now. Come on.

-- Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Motherfuckers be tripping, pages 39-41

On the flipside, I can't help but Imagine a black guy in a Flash Costume whenever I say "Turbonegro"

"My name iz Wally Washington, an' I'm the fastest nigga alive. And this is mah bitch, XS"

-- Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Sunday, May 4, 2003

oh god

you couldn't even ban custos because he wasn't so much a racist as an imbecile

http://www.ludickid.com/122503.htm

omg

geoff you are today's winner in the internet archeology sweepstakes

i am today's winner in the being a complete fuckup because i can remember "lord custos's" real name is "william renkin" but not what the birthdays of anyone close to me are contest

srsly, a line from keats in there? nope. william renkin.

how do you know his name??

his old email address

i remembered his old email i guess. he was in his heydey when i first arrived and was trying to figure this place out so i guess it stuck

xpost

god that's in poor taste, custos.
-- vahid (vahid), Sunday, May 4, 2003 3:32 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But its hilarious.
-- David Allen, Sunday, May 4, 2003 3:34 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

And one thing I know is I ain't no suckah, sucka. I been at all this shit longer than mosta your bitch asses. I don't know why you bringing "sexual" into this, I am a 45 year-old straight man with kids. What have I said that is "sexual"? I find this part fascinating.

Yo, moonship, keep it gully!

-- Saxby D. Elder, Thursday, May 24, 2007 3:02 AM (52 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

nice abrupt change of tone there with the last sentence.

every forksclovetofu post

Cunga

KRS-One had the right idea, but he was a bit too crazed. I prefer Michael Franti of the DHH. He's Jello Biafra with a tan!

-- Lord Custos X, Friday, June 14, 2002 12:00 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

omg

the problem is that the definition of "unfit to live" might suddenly change while the purge is going on. First the so-called "cleansers" get rid of the "obvious losers and wastes of vital resources" and then they suddenly add "suspected losers and wastes of vital resources"; and then they start weeding within their own ranks. Eventually, everybody is fair game in the Coming Cull.
Like my uncle would've said "hey...if the bad buys can do it to a Jew, they can just as easy do it to you."
and so forth.

-- Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Sunday, August 8, 2004 2:16 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

wow... where to start

the problem with genocide is that it might lead to infighting!!

custos is x+1 times better than the "sensitive" new ILE crew

"WHERE'S MAH TIP?"

-- latebloomer, Thursday, April 19, 2007 7:54 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

"U AIN'T GETTING NO PIZZA 'TIL I GETS MAH TIP!"

-- latebloomer, Thursday, April 19, 2007 7:59 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

"UM...TIP?"

-- latebloomer, Thursday, April 19, 2007 8:03 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

"LOOK, LAST LADY TOTALLY STIFFED ME...I AIN'T GOIN' HOME TONITE WITHOUT..."

-- latebloomer, Thursday, April 19, 2007 8:04 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

"WAIT...AM I BEING PUNK'D? ASHTON?"

-- latebloomer, Thursday, April 19, 2007 8:05 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

BAD MOVIE NIGHT 4: WE HEAR DIS PLANE STEALTH IS A BAD MOTHER

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 9 June 2007 01:15 (3 weeks ago) Link

shut yo mouf

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 9 June 2007 01:26 (3 weeks ago) Link

I'm just talkin bout Stealth!

-- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 9 June 2007 01:27 (3 weeks ago) Link

bernie mac once made me spit out my coke twice, like, i spit it out but there was still some in my mouth and i was moving to clean it off my hand and then he made another joke and i spit out the rest.

-- ethan, Tuesday, March 19, 2002 1:00 AM

post on bernie mac tribute thread

Big Johnson Attorney's: Our Habeas Will Make You a Corpus

-- strongohulkington, Thursday, 12 July 2007 18:54 (55 minutes ago) Link

NEW REPUBLICAN PARTY EMBLEM

The Republican National Committee announced today that the Republican Party
is changing its emblem from an elephant to a condom. The Committee chairman
explained that the condom more clearly reflects the party's stance today, because a condom accepts inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually getting screwed.

-- suzy (suzy), Wednesday, February 25, 2004 12:54 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

from an unrelated nixon thread

destroys the next generation

picard watch out for them rubbers bro

Picard to Earth: Stay Home!

^^^lord custos suggest palestinians be exiled to another planet

could this thread be the wrongest thread ever from what was originally a decent enough thread idea?

-- Huckadelphia (Horace Mann), Wednesday, February 4, 2004 8:19 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

otm re that thread.

my most custosian moment: made a joke about slutsky's name and couldn't even look at the board for a month b/c I felt like such a jackass.

I remember seeing slutsky's name and thinking "huh, dude thinks he's PRETTY funny".

Tracer, you may think I'm kidding, but I'm not.
There might be thousands of inhabitable planets within a 100 light year radius. Enough for every possible group of angry misanthropes to get an entire planet to call their own.
I look forward to such a scenario.

-- Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Wednesday, February 4, 2004 5:20 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

intergalactic apartheid

http://images.andale.com/f2/125/115/8617084/1119380293748_Wolverine131SlurImage.jpg

haha

my most custosian moment: made a joke about slutsky's name and couldn't even look at the board for a month b/c I felt like such a jackass.

-- bnw, Friday, July 20, 2007 8:28 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

i don't think i ever even saw it!!

Taking Sides: Slo-mo the Rapping Retard vs The Mighty MC Hawking

I *myself* am not implying that MC Hawking was "pretentious", ergo why I keep putting quotes around the word. I kinda assumed somebody else would. I'm actually a fan. And I think mister noodles hit it right on the head when he said:
Those who would call call MC Hawking pretensious just dont understand the message that hes preaching. Hawking is like a prophet to the new age of rap.
Yep, now that
* Chuck D hasn't put out anything of relevance in nearly a decade
* Ice-T still hasn't lived down wearing that Kangaroo costume
* KRS-1 has essentially morphed into Oliver Stone with a Tan.
* And worst of all nobody even remembers Arrested Development or DHH or PM Dawn....
I guess MC Hawking might be the only thing left.

-- Lord Custos III, Thursday, August 15, 2002 12:00 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

black people = white people with tans

-- simon trife (simon_tr), Monday, August 19, 2002 7:01 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

Hmmm. How do asians and aborigines fir into your theory?

-- Lord Custos Alpha (Lord Custos Alpha), Monday, August 19, 2002 12:27 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

(in retrospect, what's with the Fink announcing Benoit as 'currently residing in Atlanta, Georgia'? Does that make him Ludacris Benoit now or something?)

-- Nate in ST.P (natedetritus), Monday, 15 March 2004 05:54 (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

sweet, "rape pictures"

-- like murderinging (modestmickey), Thursday, November 23, 2006 3:37 PM (8 months ago) Bookmark Link

at 2:30 PM, a large apartment building caught fire. After the smoke cleared, the only residents alive were white people. Why?

Cuz they were at work!

hahahahaaa

-- i sing song (roger adultery), Monday, October 11, 2004 7:52 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

When I run for President some day, part of my platform will include the formation of the Department of Spelling and Grammar in Pop Culture and Store Signage. This will be bad news for Christina "Dirrty" Aguilera, Timbaland ("The Way I Are"? Seriously? This is a hit? Why?), Fall Out Boy ("Thnks Fr Th Mmrs"), and every artist whose name starts with "Yung." All will be doing hard time in the clink, although none of them will have a sentence as long and harsh as repeat offender Nelly, whose new single, "Wadsyaname," has left a trio of beloved words — what's, your, and name — battered and bloodied beyond recognition. (Click here to hear it over at PopEater.) It's the musical equivalent of that drug-store poster declaring, "Its you're pharmacy!"

Admit it, you're totally going to vote for me. President Slezak. My mom will love that!

Also: Who else should be taken away in handcuffs my first day in office?

http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2007/08/nelly-wadsyanam.html

Nobody in that comments box has yet mentioned "The Beatles"

when i IM'd that link to ethan my stomach started hurting at the idea that this guy is now an ostensible "peer" of mine

http://www.lowculture.com/archives/images/jackie_harvey.jpg

reading the comments there makes me want to cry

comments boxes everywhere are pretty horrifying

Yeah, I'm a fucking copy editor and I don't care how the hell musicians spell things, as long as they're not writing something for my company. Fergie singing "like a child misses their blanket" does kind of grate, though.

(xpost)
Aren't they! they seem to be the nr1 idiot-attractant on the interweb!

in blacker, more misanthropic moods, i assume most people are like comments-box people...

Katie Jane Mon, Aug 20, 2007 at 05:28 PM EST

The WORST offence:

“I am going to” is now “I’ma”. Four words reduced to three letters.

OH NO

Ema Mon, Aug 20, 2007 at 03:15 PM EST

Any and all recording artists who use "shorthand" such as "I'm a Slave 4 U" or "Since U Been Gone" should be taken away and beaten with rulers until the grammar rules seep in. Is it that hard to slip in the extra consonants and vowels these words deserve? I think Prince started this revolution so he should bear the brunt of the punishment. I'd gladly join the Task Force on Grammar Inforcement under the Slezak Administration!

Nice reference to the Revolution, though.

Inforcement

http://www.google.com/search?q=%22learn+some+grammer%22

http://209.85.165.104/search?q=cache:wv_BUgHZngMJ:www.gateway.ualberta.ca/view.php%3Faid%3D6684+%22how+to+grammar%22&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=10&gl=us

I was just about to post "the complete lyrics of If You're Feeling Sinister if they were written by RJG," but after a while a had a Custos flashback and thought better of it.

-- nabisco, Saturday, August 25, 2007 12:38 AM (12 hours ago) Bookmark Link

Well, the Latins are more orange coloured people than coloured people per say, no? You couldn't put Robin Gonzales next to Miss Eliott and have peoples mix them up :)

-- Comstock Carabinieri (nostudium), Tuesday, 14 June 2005 08:28 (2 years ago) Link

I realize that I made a mistake and would like to apologize for it.

-- Lord Custos Omega (Lord Custos Omega), Friday, January 10, 2003 4:36 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

* Ice-T still hasn't lived down wearing that Kangaroo costume

???

channeling patrin there

Samuel Jackson as pissed-off Uncle Remus?

I WANT THESE MOTHERFUCKIN BLUEBIRDS OFF MY MOTHERFUCKING SHOULDER!

-- kenan, Wednesday, March 28, 2007 9:25 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

"I AIN'T YOUR MOTHAFUCKIN BRE'R BRO!"

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, March 28, 2007 9:26 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

reminds me of classic dom post about dmx---

"I say, wouldn't it be funny if he'd said "I am not doing my seatbelt up... nigga!"

-- Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, May 17, 2006 4:04 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

And that post was in response to some Shakey Mo bullshit on said thread. Circles within circles, man.

hahaha

"i say!"

Custos OTM.

-- Ally (mlescaut), Saturday, May 3, 2003 1:25 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

Hey guys. Do you ever just get sad? Do you ever just want to go to a place and be alone where people are very unlikely to come and bother you? You ever just want to BROOD ON A ROOFTOP?

I am feeling kinda down right now, and would like some good advice on the topic of ROOFTOP BROODING. Like, can anyone recommend some good roofs in the NYC area (preferably convenient to Astoria, Queens)? Is the brooding more effective if you're right next to some gargoyles? Is it better to brood on the steeple of a church, or on a generic rooftop with one of those wooden water towers? What's a better brooding position -- squatting down, or kinda leaning out over the edge as though you're about to pounce on the city?

Also, what are the potential downsides of rooftop brooding?

-- Mr. Perpetua, Wednesday, 5 September 2007 01:30 (4 hours ago) Link

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?!?? We can do better than THAT!

180 posts of "LOL old people"

Indiana Jones and the Custos Tribute Thread

-- ghost rider, Monday, September 10, 2007 8:18 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

I didn't bother actually reading the thread.

Is "Oilyrags" actually Custos?

If Robert Ludlum Wrote It

thats a pretty funny thread, dude

I didn't bother actually reading the thread.

http://www.digitallyobsessed.com/cover_art2/sunshineboys.jpg

I'm surprised TLC never covered "Burning Down The House."
-- Brooker Buckingham (Brooker B), Tuesday, June 21, 2005 9:50 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

"To please me and bounce from here to the coast of overseas" is genius!

I loved it when Marjorie Dawes did a version of No Scrubs on Shooting Stars.

If you have a shorty that you don’t show love

eh?

If you don’t have a car and you’re walking

should we assume that TLC would not be swayed by an environmentalist argument? "Sure I could *afford* a car, but think of the *planet*, love".

-- Grandpont Genie, Thursday, September 13, 2007 12:23 PM (29 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

"shorty" = girlfriend
"that" = to whom

-- Tracer Hand, Thursday, September 13, 2007 12:38 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

that's craziness! some girls are tall!

-- Grandpont Genie, Thursday, September 13, 2007 12:48 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

ugh

i didn't see tom jenkinson on the bourne ultimatum credits, but i'm struggling to think how else they put together those fast-shot camera sequences.

-- Just got offed, Thursday, September 13, 2007 5:12 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

is there a thread for dudes on the weird al level wizardisUGLY.com joeks

tombot appreciation thread

Who cares, it's not like the previous dudes have set traps there!

you down with HIV?
yeah, you know me...

-- chicago kevin, Sunday, September 30, 2007 6:52 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

So - Al Gore is one of, if not the, most influential person in bringing about the internet AND the single person most responsible for raising awareness about global warming?

We need to set this guy to work on some more practical, everyday stuff:

- Potato chip bags that keep chips fresh, but don't threaten to split wide open past a certain amount of power put into the opening effort
- Bartenders who let you get your money's worth
- Collar stays that you don't lose

Al Gore is too big picture. I need more micro, less macro from my Tennessean Savior

-- B.L.A.M., Friday, October 12, 2007 10:52 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

bullet points = key

Whale Music

Now now Dan. You should know full well that the reason we hate them is because they're boring, not because dem bad ol darkies be takin' are wimmongz.

-- Oilyrags, Tuesday, September 25, 2007 11:36 AM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

whats that from

It's from the Heroes thread.

Who the fuck is that guy?

who is "dem bad ol darkies be takin' are wimmongz" supposed to sound like?

ahha 'wimmongz'

http://diabeetis.com/images/wilford5.jpg

<i>Who the fuck is that guy?</i>

Austin, i think.

</i'm bad at nu-ilx>

Bob Dylan started in a fish tank (called The Mississippi School) in Iraq in 1923.
The purpose was to find a solution to the biggest problem facing the implementers of not-capitalism in Russia.
Why wasn't the wonderbra idea of not-capitalism spreading?
The fishtank school recommended (amongst other things):

1. Making up historical schools to support vaguely plausible theories
2. Play on the fears of people who have little or no connection to people richer or poorer than themselves (whichever is more suitable)
3. Cite non-existant statistics without actual citation
4. enlarge or diminish statistics as appropriate
5. Check spellings at all times
6. Act like you are the voice of sanity in an insane world
7. concede small points to appear fairminded
8. make bulletpoint lists, numbered, at least ten of them
9. suggest that an actual majority feel and believe the exact same thing
10. run up a national symbol as a heading picture (avoid an actual flag though.

-- Mark G, Monday, October 22, 2007 3:23 PM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Mark G deserves his own thread, seriously

There is no way that anything by Bone Thugz could possibly be even close to the greatness of "Supper's Ready"

Geir I'm surprised that you don't know this: Bizzy Bone wrote most of "Supper's Ready" and all of "The Musical Box," this is a matter of historical record - Hackett & Gabriel up on some Rob & Fab shit with all that early stuff

-- J0hn D., Monday, October 22, 2007 9:44 PM

If any of my loyal readers felt a cold draft when opening this morning's paper, it's because hell just froze over. That's right! Ol' Roger "No thanks, I'll stick with my 8-Track" Dudek bought a brand-spanking-new laptop. Now I know what you're thinking, "Ha ha! You, Rog? With a laptop? That would be the biggest disaster since the Titanic let the blind guy steer!"

You're telling me. Used to be the only way you could get me near a "desktop" was if the Soviets were attacking and I needed a place to hide. But last week my editor, Tony, said my handwriting looks like chicken scratch. He gave me two choices: get a computer or start laying some eggs! Boy, I sure did something to "ruffle his feathers," because then he threatened to "stuff" me with a pink slip and send me "clucking" down to the unemployment office. Talk about getting "henpecked." Sheesh! So I flew on down to the computer store— before things got really "fowl."

But seriously, folks, I didn't get into the humor-writing biz to spend all day staring at a computer screen. If I wanted to work in a place full of big, immobile machines that never do what anyone tells them, I'd run for Congress!

Have you seen these computers lately? They say computers have the ability to connect people from all over the world. Yeah…so they can talk about how no one knows how to turn the darn thing on! (Hint: Have a child, wait eight years, and pay him to do it.) And another thing—who packs these computer boxes, Rosie O'Donnell's tailor? Every one of these gizmos comes with a keyboard, monitor, software, hardware, a mouse—and probably two squirrels and a raccoon for all I know! I stopped taking things out of the box after I thought I saw Jimmy Hoffa. I'm kidding of course.

It was Elvis.

Plus the manuals that come with today's computers are, as far as I can tell, written in hieroglyphics! And is it just me, or are these things the size of a whale? We're talking after it went off Atkins! Computer manual? Sounds like an oxymoron to me. Like jumbo shrimp, or military intelligence. Maybe I should just pay a little more and get a computer automatic. I'm telling you, they're so complicated these days, I need a manual just to figure out my manual!

Check, please!

Maybe I'm just too old—er, numerically challenged—to keep up with the new technology. My kids might as well be speaking to me in Wingdings when they start going on about Facebook this and Myspace that. Myspace. You know what used to be My space? The den. Now my kids are in there all day texting the Backstreet Boys or whatever they do, and I can't get on the thing to save my life.

If the computer wasn't enough, now I'm hearing about the iPhone everywhere I go. iPhones, youPhones, we all scream because it costs a fortune! If I'm going to pay $300 for a telephone, it better be a really nice phone…strapped to $275. But try telling that to my wife, Rosemary. And while you're at it, tell her I fixed the dryer—because she's not talking to me until I get her an iPhone! I tell you, it hasn't been this quiet around my house since our last baby was born with no heartbeat.

And don't get me started on iPods! Those screens are so tiny that instead of headphones they should come with a microscope. Otherwise the only music I'll be listening to will be in the hospital waiting room—when I finally burst a blood vessel from all the squinting.

In fact, everyone's so busy trying to figure out how to work these new gadgets, we only have time now to call things by a couple letters. CDs, DVDs, DVRs, MP3s…let's call the whole thing off! What ever happened to naming things exactly what they did? Blender, toaster, salad shooter. Why can't things be like that again? Just imagine what that would be like:

You (just thawed out of a glacier and transported to your local RadioShack): Hello, Steve Jobs. What do you have for me today?

Steve Jobs: Well, we're selling our new $600 iBreak and our new $200 You Don't Need This.

You: I'll take both of them! You know, Steve, if you make these Apple products any cheaper, people are going to start thinking they grow on trees.

Steve Jobs: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! That was really funny, because apples grow on trees.

So call me a technophobe (that's Mr. Technophobe to you), but I think I'll stick to good old Pen and Paper 2.0 for a while longer. I mean, if I wanted a big machine in my house that doesn't work for me, I'd invite a Congressman to dinner! It might have been a laptop when it came into the house, but lately it's been more like a shelftop.

More like a bottomshelftop!

All I know is, I didn't pass up a chance to write for Billy Crystal at the '92 Oscars so that I could go clacking away on some keyboard until the day I die—which, according to Rosemary, will be the next time I forget our anniversary!

Check please!

I always thought that if I was a writer on this show, whenever the character's needed something, I'd send them to a big-box store with a name that riff's on the show's title:

Liquor Store: Hoocherama
Emergency Room: Suturama
Short Term Loans: Moocherama
Whorehouse: Coocherama
Dog Breeder: Poocherama

etc.

-- Oilyrags, Thursday, November 8, 2007 7:36 AM (16 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I want to start a symphonic metal band called... (wait for it)...

I always thought that if I was a writer on this show, whenever the character's needed something, I'd send them to a big-box store with a name that riff's on the show's title:

Liquor Store: Hoocherama
Emergency Room: Suturama
Short Term Loans: Moocherama
Whorehouse: Coocherama
Dog Breeder: Poocherama

etc.

-- Oilyrags, Thursday, November 8, 2007 7:36 AM (16 hours ago) Bookmark Link

-- and what, Friday, November 9, 2007 4:58 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Link

This from the dude who complains every single week about The Office not being funny enough.

murder she wrote - classic or dud?

snoball in full didja-ever-notice mode in this thread... expect him to break out 'how come theres braille at the drive-thru ATM!' next

hahaha i thought that was going to be a chaka demus ilm thread

Addie: How much he (customer) pay for de curry goat?

Me: $12

Addie: $12? No, no! No! You must charge $15! He must pay you $15!

Me: The menu says $12. That's what we've been charging the entire 3 months I've worked here.

Addie: No! De menu say dat? No, that is too cheap, mon! He must give you $15!

-- Mickey (modestmickey), Sunday, March 12, 2006 3:06 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

Drexciya? Isn't that the name of that famous shemale pornstar? I didn't know (s)he made records. But the "Drexciyan race" references would explain all 'hir' extra...appendages.

-- Lord Custos, Sunday, February 17, 2002 1:00 AM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

point behind my new dogs & cats civil rights allegorical masterpiece: although they were born with odd hair/speech/ limbs/skin colors/digestive tracts/etc, the dogs and cats are fundamentally the same as humans and have the same feelings, emotions, desires, hopes, fears, cultural basis (most live in houses!), etc and should therefore be accepted and treated the same as humans!
-- ethan, Monday, 8 April 2002 00:00 (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

coyote ethan

(most live in houses!),

statistics pls?

thats a deliberate caricature of some other argument on the thread, tardz

your problem is that you have gone through the time tunnel and are living in May 2007, just find the vortex again and your problem will be solved

(actually no the deal is, and this is a little weird: they're rereleasing the song this month as part of some desperate maybe-we-can-sell-records-this-way effort - the song, plus a b-side or two, and a ringtone of the song delivered directly to your sell. They have even come up with a name for this new product that combines the selling of music on a physical format & the transmission of music as data to your phone. You have to wait for the name of the product because it is just too awesome.)

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:13 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

See it's like a single but it has a ringtone so it's a

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:16 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

I can't say it

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:16 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

It's then a ringle?

-- Alex in NYC, Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:17 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

(I do like this song though, think it's a clever little top 40 jam with some nice changes & and good placement of detail ("that bathroom Polo") but I have some typical-of-me issues with the chorus ("slashed a hole in all four tires?" no, you didn't; you either slashed all four tires, or you punched a hole in each one of the them, but you didn't "slash a hole" in anything, friend) - the verses though, they're good, and the bridge isn't bad either)

xpost YES ALEX IT IS A RINGLE A RINGLE OH MY SWEET LOVING JESUS PEOPLE LET US WELCOME THE AGE OF THE RINGLE

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:19 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

wax cylinder
78
45
LP
8-track
cassette
DAT
CD
HDCD
Ringle

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:20 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

I just bought a minidisc player. Don't forget that.

-- bendy, Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:30 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

you better throw that shit away! Ringles are what's next!!

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:33 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

if Pringles fails to to do a cross-promotion with this I'm going on a hunger strike

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 20 October 2007 23:35 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2127/2070980389_ddbf9393d8.jpg

still not sure i 'get' custos but surely this
Holla

not really.

The Bourne Ultimatum

Well, folks, it's that time of year again. The time when we all gather round the fireplace to celebrate the miraculous birth of a child that happened over 2,000 years ago. No, I'm not talking about Andy Rooney! I'm talking about Christmas—and you know what that means:

Run for your lives! The fruitcakes are coming!

Now, if you're a loyal reader (This week's Tip of the Santa's Hat goes to Ann Marie Ganz of Portage, MI!) you know I've never been too nuts (or fruits) about fruitcake. But honestly, who is? The last time anyone actually took a bite of a fruitcake was 1952, and I should know—it's still sitting on my mother's kitchen table with a fork stuck in it. It was there so long she finally had to put it in her will…as the thing that probably killed her! Talk about a recipe for disaster. This one takes the cake!

But seriously, folks, if the mailman tries to bring one of those things to my door this year, I'll be spending Christmas in prison for assault with a deadly confection.

Turns out waking up to something that's about as crusty, old, and stale as Keith Richards is the least of my worries this holiday season. (Did someone say, "I Can't Get No Fruit-Filled-Confection?")

http://www.kepplerspeakers.com/literature/Barry-D.jpg

If Dave Barry was on this forum he'd say "The CrushFucks would be a great name for a band..."

-- Lord Custos Omega (Lord Custos Omega), Wednesday, December 4, 2002 8:17 AM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

wwdbd

Parking lot? More like parking little if you ask me.

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/slow_down_technology

^^^This really reminded me of Custos

As did my blackeye gag on the Ike Turner thread

Plus the manuals that come with today's computers are, as far as I can tell, written in hieroglyphics! And is it just me, or are these things the size of a whale? We're talking after it went off Atkins! Computer manual? Sounds like an oxymoron to me. Like jumbo shrimp, or military intelligence. Maybe I should just pay a little more and get a computer automatic. I'm telling you, they're so complicated these days, I need a manual just to figure out my manual!

Check, please!

I always wanted the computer voice to malfunction and take on a Brooklyn accent or something.

JLP: Computer, lock in coordinates for that star cluster!
Computer: Why don't youz come ovah heah and do its yaself!

-- got yourself a fish biscuit! (nickalicious), Friday, October 6, 2006 11:59 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

wrong thread?

sorry if you think thats totally hilare [(c) slocki]

totes inappropes.

hilairebeloc.jpg

I work with a dude whose last name is St Hilaire

i would love that guy.

Who are the coolest geeks?:

I voted for historical re-enacters, because they're outdoors the most, even when it's chilly

-- nabisco, Friday, December 28, 2007 12:41 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

(see what i did there)

-- nabisco, Friday, December 28, 2007 12:43 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

(SEE IT)

-- nabisco, Friday, December 28, 2007 12:43 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I thought it was very funny!

-- I know, right?, Friday, December 28, 2007 12:44 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

You did need to point it out though. It was in the puzzled re-reading that the light went off. "Ah!" I said in my head "because it's cold out! Cold, cool!!"

-- I know, right?, Friday, December 28, 2007 12:45 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I should be on this thread WAY more often

its not a compliment

it's, son

Feel free to start a thread where the female ILMer's can degrade and hoot and some blowdried beefsteak himbo's.
All's fair in lust and war, I say.
Then the "hens" can crow about Michael Bolton or Billy Ray Cyrus or Alex Alexexlaxalaxilaxis, while us Neanderthalitic, slope-browed "roosters" grunt in monosyllabic approval of some nice peice of tart.
(and while the "Hens" and "Roosters" are making mysog/androgonistic creeps of themselves, the "Ducks" can debate latex vs leather.)

-- Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Tuesday, March 11, 2003 11:40 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

Really don't miss that dude.

here's what i think they should do. marlo and omar run into each other down tropical way. it's super-tense but then who do they run into but the detectives of the western, who are ALSO down there on vacation!!! then they all team up and go after clay davis, who is running a smuggling operation down there. mcnulty and marlo have to team up! eventually they learn how to work together and even earn some grudging respect for each other. and at the end of the season they have a big party at prop joe's carribbean villa. with some lovely ladies ;) last shot, mcnulty drinking rum, looking at the bottle and saying, "i could get used to this stuff." (maybe him and bunk open a bar on the beach after it's all over)

-- s1ocki

i knew this day would come

slocki has always used his custos powers for good

where we would be without his posts on every serious movie thread about how the movie would play out as a cynical hollywood blockbuster

i love thinking about that

"what? this is outrageous! officer, arrest this man!"

you're getting too old for this shit

i am :(

SADDAM ARRESTED

I'm shedding a few tears over all of this, because on my birthday, when I saw the band the Sun City Girls play in Tacoma, no other than Saddam Hussein himself introduced the band. He even dressed up as Saddam Claus and threw trash out at us in a loving contempt for "our American kind". And he even did a free form synthesizer performance. What a travel expense this must have been for him.

-- donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 23:27 (4 years ago) Link

mass suicides brought on by viewing of shitty M. Night Shamalamadingdong "film"

-- Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 22:46 (Yesterday) Link

kinda channeling morbius there

That thread has fart jokes.

MY MOM would be MAD AT U

Is your Mom Prince?

-- Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, 12 November 2004 06:40 (3 years ago) Link

that's actually funny

Maybe they should have titled this Indiana Jones and the Close Encounter Of The Third Kind

And at the end of it Indiana and everyone get kidnapped by aliens and then Spielberg shoots a new special ending for Close Encounters and it shows Indy stepping out at Devil's Tower with the US Air Force guys and he's all confused and Francois Truffaut steps up and says, "Hello, my real last name is Belloq, you killed my father, prepare to die" and the government forces at the Devil's Tower base are all really Nazis and Richard Dreyfus runs around and chaos ensues.

THERE WILL BE ALIEN BLOOD.

Sequence to end with Indy swinging on his whip over the scene and roundhouse kicking Moby into his DJ gear.

-- Ned Raggett, Thursday, February 14, 2008 3:15 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

President Kennedy Injured in Dallas?

otm

still not a boil on the ass on the thread about the movie

that thread's getting worrse and worse

now i'm imagining hezbollah recording an album full of international smash hits, netting them millions -- it would be like that movie about the internet murderer where every website hit injects more poison into his victim or whatever -- "please, america!! stop listening to this infectious music! every CD you buy endangers the lives of us all!" -- until the govt. realize they can stop this insane money mill by encouraging rampant piracy

-- Tracer Hand, Thursday, 21 February 2008 12:51 (8 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

Did I just hear the phrase "Ghetto Kama Sutra" used in an RnB song?

"aw baby, you knows I can't afford a real copy o' dat hindu sex book. but look here, i got this one on discount. it's only got 15 positions in it and the pictures are all kinds of blurry and the models are hairy as fuck, but dammmmnnn..."

-- Amon (eman), Friday, April 8, 2005 8:46 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

searching ilx for karma sutra on a friday night= and what be mackin?

shawty kama sutra

I just got a subpeona from the law firm of Dewey, Cheatom and Howe. Apparently I'm being sued for defamation of character. Apparently the plaintiff insists that he is NOT J Lo's personal fuck toy. Osama is Richard Gere's personal fuck toy. Well, I stand corrected. Sorry for the confusion. Now...back to the thread already in progress...

-- Lord Custos Omega (Lord Custos Omega), Thursday, October 17, 2002 6:17 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

dont test the god

Oh, man, I would pay nearly anything for a coffeemaker that was constantly uploading pictures of itself to its MySpace page and stuff

-- nabisco, Friday, January 25, 2008 2:01 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"got wasteed with the toaster last nite, LOL, i was still makin irish coffee in the morning . man im so bord now, why is the water hear so HARD"

-- nabisco, Friday, January 25, 2008 2:03 AM (1 month ago) Bookmark Link

can some math nerd graph out the degree of overlap between this thread & excelsior threads

some people should not be allowed to use the word "fuck"

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/2/28/Fozzie.jpg

When was the last time custos posted anything here? (or does he actually still post here under a different name)

he posts as dom passa aw forget it

(movie preview voice-over)
In a land where Geir is King...
(cut to shot of Geir in throne with crown and sceptre, laughing evilly)
...human-kind is an endangered species.
(pan across rag-clad ILXors laboring in some sort of mine pit)
But can a courageous boy and his primate pal save the hope of the world before darkness envelops the land forever?

-- Dan I., Wednesday, April 23, 2003 12:42 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

this could probably just as easily be ilx in 2003 tribute thread

that's awful. I don't remember writing it either, must have blocked it out.

There are approx. 1000 memorable rules, requests and commandments in popular music. Let us count them.

Custos's last ever ILx thread: ScottPl's 1978-1982? Tell us about it.

More recently than I would have guessed

Back in the early 90s frightening people had big quote-unquote internet weddings

"Crazy Frog" - An Exercise in Applied Probability

Love everything up through The Globe, but am thinking they should now change their moniker to Big Audio Mistake.

-- Alex in NYC (vassifer), Friday, April 4, 2003 8:10 PM

SEARCH: "The Bottom Line," "E=MC2", "Medicine Show," "Contact," "Rush" "The Globe."

DESTROY: "C'mon Every Beatbox," "Just Play Music", their silly hats circa #10 UPPING STREET, the title of that album, their annoyingly cumbersome habit of changing their name (first Big Audio Dynamite, then Big Audio Dynamite II and the simply Big Audio) and everything they did after 1991. Everything after THE GLOBE was a....wait for it....Big Audio Mistake!

-- Alex in NYC, Tuesday, May 7, 2002 12:00 AM

Capable of great singles - "The Bottom Line," "Medicine Show," "E= MC2," "Contact," "Rush," "The Globe,"....but will forever live in the shadow of The Clash.

"C'mon Every Beatbox" was crap tho'.

-- Alex in NYC, Thursday, August 15, 2002 12:00 AM

Also, changing their name from Big Audio Dynamite to Big Audio Dynamite Two to simply Big Audio was a....

....wait for it.....

Big Audio Mistake

-- Alex in NYC, Thursday, August 15, 2002 12:00 AM (Thursday, August 15, 2002 12:00 AM)

a joke so good, it had to be told on not one, but THREE threads

haha, i was on the verge of posting that earlier
he changed the punchline on another post tho

denny vertigo was in b.a.d.II o.b.v.

Leann Rimes

Looks like a rapper's name, but isn't a rapper.

Glasses Malone

Does not use corrective eyewear.

-- xhuxk, Thursday, 27 March 2008 00:33 (53 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

big audio mistake isn't even like a pun or play on words or anything

anyway...

this:

If I'm in a car going 60 mph in Crazy Frog's direction and you're Crazy Frog on a motorcycle going 75 mph in my direction, how long until one of us inadvertently starts harboring real feelings and what is the magnitude of our heartbreak and subsequent distrust for the opposite sex?

Please answer in the form of a question.

(P.S. - I'll meet you behind the tool shed.)

-- Ian Riese-Moraine: exposing ambitious careerists as charlatans since 1986. (East, Tuesday, June 14, 2005 9:47 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

that thread is a nightmare

OMG forgot about dennys vertigo vs lethargy.

White men calling black men "bro" for no particular reason

the thread where we post like jazz musicians

^^^^ seriously

Mantronix
Mantronix: The Album (Deluxe Edition)
[Sleeping Bag; 1985; r: Warlock; 2008]
Rating: 8.08

-- Nate Patrin

haw

[ neenerneener] I remember him from Northwestern when he was in the Art History Department [ /neenerneener]
-- Kerry, Thursday, November 22, 2001 8:00 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Link

So I broke into the palace
With a sponge and a rusty Rohaldino bottle opener
She said "I know you and you cannot sing"
I said "thats nothing, you should see the reaction this got on ILX"

-- Trayce, Sunday, 27 April 2008 07:27 (1 hour ago) Link

Make A Band Name More Reasonable

http://books.google.com/books?id=duQvAAAAMAAJ&pg=RA1-PA125&lpg=RA1-PA125

both 'Liberal' and 'Conservative' have been overused incorrectly by ninnies for so long that it means absolutely nothing
Sometimes, I wish I carried a solid iron cricket bat with several huge rusty spikes jutting from it. And anytime some wingnut used "Liberal" as a noun, I could cluestick them upside their pointy little head.
"It's not a Noun, Fucknugget! 'Liberal' is (THWACK!) a mutha- (THWACK!) fuckin' (THWACK!) descriptor (THWACK!) it modifies a (THWACK!) Noun. A person (THWACK!) can't be a 'Liberal' (THWACK!) or a 'Conservative' for the same (THWACK!) goddamned (THWACK!) reason (THWACK!) they (THWACK!) can't (THWACK!) be a
'Begrudginly'!"
So, to recap: both 'Liberal' and 'Conservative' have been overused incorrectly by ninnies for so long that it means absolutely nothing.
Political debates might as well be a bunch of fat white guys complaining about opressive unicorns and bleeding hearted hobbits.

(Public Service Announcement: The 'Cluestick' portion of this post was made possible through grants from the Committee to End Public Violence.)

-- Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Saturday, January 10, 2004 11:56 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

for whatever it's worth, you can't say the guy was lazy.

it reads like bloom county which kind of depresses me

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/chi-kass-14-may14,0,3973697,full.column

I thought of Custos when you linked to this on that other thread.

bloom county is totally the ur-text for custosism

Lou will die just after all the cockroaches, but before Keith Richards.

-- snoball, Sunday, May 18, 2008 2:09 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

(from Lou Reed RIP)

Gary Old Man

I heard a rumor that the only reason HRC wanted the job in the first place was because WJC left a suitcase like that one in Pulp Fiction in a secret under-the-floor compartment in the Lincoln bedroom, and whoever owns this suitcase/jewelled sceptre/magic shillelagh has the power to rule the world and shit like that so the VP slot is worthless to her because she wouldn't be able to get into the bedroom, so now Chelsea has to begin the long ascent to the presidency just for that one climactic scene where she pries the floorboards open

and stuff

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 7 June 2008 19:58 (2 days ago) Link

Indiana Jones and the Lincoln Bedroom

-- gabbneb, Saturday, 7 June 2008 20:04 (2 days ago) Link

it's the spear of Longinus, that's what it is, the spear of Longinus is hidden under the floorboards

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 7 June 2008 20:06 (2 days ago) Link

we must wonder though, why the republicans would allow her to discover it in the first place xp

-- deeznuts, Saturday, 7 June 2008 20:07 (2 days ago) Link

Dude, J0hn, here all this time I thought it was Freddie the talking flute he'd stashed up there.

-- suzy, Saturday, 7 June 2008 20:08 (2 days ago) Link

yes yes the whole reason Bush II has been unable to govern competently over the past eight years is that the faint sound of Freddie's beating flute heart has driven him insane

-- J0hn D., Saturday, 7 June 2008 20:16 (2 days ago) Link

i keep thinking of this, and the murder/tortue scenes, and the old europe vs new america, the old america that isnt even really on the map...and also about things like the cia black sites being where this film was supposed to talk place in, and the aestheicazation of tortue, adn escape into the rule of law...adn i want to make those connections, but im not sure its fair?
-- anthony easton (anthony), Sunday, October 1, 2006 12:44 PM (Sunday, October 1, 2006 12:44 PM) Bookmark Link

"I wish I could quit you, Hulk."

-- Ned Raggett, Monday, June 9, 2008 3:32 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

brokeback refs are prime cuts of custos

classic unnecessary joke-enhancement/belaboring

Yeah, fuck those haters.

-- Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, July 29, 2003 2:54 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

They be drinkin too much Hatorade.

-- NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, July 29, 2003 3:02 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

^^^ "they be ____" is a str8 shot to custos thread fyi

bozelka on "the happening" thread

well, bozelka in general, but ...

how many ned posts are just "______'s ______"? like

i want to see sci fi made by a gay dude from baltimore

-- bee #1

John Waters' Star Trek

-- Ned Raggett

lol amirite

^^^ fuck every post that isnt lol or amirite

i would say fuck all of 'em but it'd inspire a passive-aggresive tirade from g-kit... oh no that's torn it.

and what otm, this problem also plagued "aw"

do you feel like there is a lol between you and other amirites?

classic unnecessary joke-enhancement/belaboring

-- s1ocki, Monday, June 9, 2008 10:10 PM (4 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

---------------------------

character ark

please tell me this was intentional

-- n/a, Monday, July 7, 2008 3:35 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

raiders of the lost character ark

-- omar little, Monday, July 7, 2008 3:36 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

"DON'T LOOK AT THE LIGHT, N/A!"

-- Ned Raggett, Monday, July 7, 2008 3:36 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

punchline bandwagonning.

Funniest possible things to say during moment of climax.

Er, AC/DC are Hard Rock, or Pub Rock or something. I'm not sure you could go so far as to call them Metal.
Metal is a form of Hard Rock. But this is just genre-hairsplitting. Thats why genres suck. We should file everything in the record store under "Sounds" and leave it at that.

Customer #1: "Where can I find an AC/DC record?"
Store Clerk: "Ummm...try under 'Sounds' "
Customer #2: "Excuse me, wheres your Polka section?"
Store Clerk: "All polka records are filed under 'Sounds' "
Customer #3: "Yo, whassup? I'm lookin' for..."
Store Clerk: " 'Sounds!' "

-- Lord Custos III, Tuesday, July 2, 2002 8:00 PM (6 years ago) Bookmark Link

you really need to keep that unique formatting to truly preserve the flavour of the post. otherwise it's like watching a widescreen movie in pan & scan.

custos thread top gainer: pancakes hackman

you heard it here first

hmm good point:

Chewbacca, Plain and Tall

> what you would expect Super Nazi Moses to say?

Achtung, let my people go up up and away!

-- Oilyrags, Friday, July 25, 2008 3:50 PM (52 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I heard that Obama has TWO black children!

-- Oilyrags, Friday, July 25, 2008 4:28 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

check the date on this shit

http://www.cribbage.ws/images/trophy_cup_md_tra.gifCUSTOS THREAD HALL OF FAMEhttp://www.cribbage.ws/images/trophy_cup_md_tra.gif

Take that Bill O'Reilly!

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/ludacris.jpg

-- Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Thursday, 11 March 2004 21:52 (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

^^^what the fuck is this?

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/ludacris.jpg

we should poll every image in http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/avril-thread.jpg

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/ned-bald.jpg

wtf.jpg

lunabear.jpg

what a treasure trove

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/lunabear.jpg

People really thought someone that looked like that was posting to ILX?

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/stevem-new-mouth.jpg

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/ally-n-t-p.jpg

Were these actually for ILX threads, or was dude just enjoying himself on Photoshop in his spare time?

this is one of those things where someone gets banned and there are three 100+ post threads on i must protest, right

Lunabear2.jpg > Lunabear.jpg

Just because I love this so much

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v165/noodle_vague/banned.gif

Were these actually for ILX threads, or was dude just enjoying himself on Photoshop in his spare time?

-- The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Sunday, 27 July 2008 23:22 (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

I love the wide-eyed innocent act, Dom, but you were around when most of these got made, you are well aware of what most of them were made for, so stop being disingenuous, you are fooling NOBODY!

this is one of those things where someone gets banned and there are three 100+ post threads on i must protest, right

-- max, Sunday, 27 July 2008 23:23 (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Yes! Pretty much. This one:

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/avril-thread.jpg

Goes with the locking of the avril thread, for instance.

some of these are still great:

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/ellen-ned.jpg

Most of them were actually pretty funny and OTM at the time they were made.

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/geir-punch.jpg

what the shit

out of context these are so disturbing!

seriously.

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/jess.jpg

Wow you all have short attention spans/memories. Half this shit were memes for months!

(is my goth sesame st one still in there, I bet it is)

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/sesametrayce.jpg

Woo!

People really thought someone that looked like that was posting to ILX?

-- The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Sunday, July 27, 2008 11:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

whoever finds the source of that image wins ilxer of the year award

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/geir-punch.jpg

omg I am so happy at least part of bucket bikini man still exists!!!!!

Don't take off your condoms yet, people.

-- StanM, Wednesday, July 30, 2008 12:13 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(unless you're finished fucking for the time being - then dispose of it properly, cause I don't want to see that in the kitchen trash when I'm cooking dinner)

-- Oilyrags, Wednesday, July 30, 2008 12:14 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i'd recommend not cooking dinner in the kitchen trash

-- ken c, Wednesday, July 30, 2008 12:16 PM (6 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

wts

part 7: United We Stand, Divided We Die Hard
part 8: Sic Semper Die Hard
part 9: Out of Many, Die Hard
part 10: Novus Ordo Die Hard
part 11: Ballin, Shot Callin, Everlastin Die Hardin

-- j blount (papa la bas), Monday, October 9, 2006 6:48 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

i think c&p-ing posts that predate the actual custos thread are kinda unfair. ILX tolerated (rewarded, even) labored wordplay much more back then.

http://www.p30warez.com/uploads/posts/2007-10/1192282849_51st7c3rbql._ss500_.jpg

i think c&p-ing posts that predate the actual custos thread are kinda unfair. ILX tolerated (rewarded, even) labored wordplay much more back then.

-- some dude, Monday, August 4, 2008 4:13 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

how could the thread ever have been started?? are you trying to rewrite history

the lord custos laws are ex post facto

i think c&p-ing posts that predate the actual custos thread are kinda unfair.

-- Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, November 14, 2003 3:14 PM

-- and what, Friday, 27 April 2007 16:42 (1 year ago) Link

however to be fair the post that inspired this thread was actually sub-custos material and not just someone making a corny pun

was gonna link slocki's elm street thread but saw I posted in it, damnit

those would only count if i made up fake dialogue.

Isn't it a shame you don't get more schoolteachers in rap?

http://image.blingee.com/images15/content/output/000/000/000/405/250042833_1646157.gif

'Dad, can we play football in the park again?'

'No'

'Why?'

'Oh, because I'm gay, clear off'

'WHAT?!??'

'Whatever, just piss off'

-- Autumn Almanac, Saturday, 16 August 2008 23:33 (2 days ago) Link

tupac

i thought itd be a dual pack (of rappers)

-- jhøshea, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 7:31 PM (Wednesday, March 26, 2008 7:31 PM) Bookmark Link

Get it? Two... packs.

please someone make the facebook musical thread stop please

so bad!!

if tom locks that thread i will forgive him for everything he did yesterday

is there any more heinous a Custosian crime, as when Marcello and chums imitate Bobby Gillespie for the nth time, like they were writing the jokes column from an early-90s NME?

oh god so OTM

for brits maybe

that one goes right over my head

is there any more heinous a Custosian crime, as when Marcello and chums imitate Bobby Gillespie for the nth time, like they were writing the jokes column from an early-90s NME?

― graft Veronica's limbless torso to the 'paalmino' pony called Juno (stevie), Monday, 6 October 2008 11:26 (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Seriously.

"The Ludacris Foundation"
Message Bookmarked
Dubplatestyle: The Hip-Hop Summit Action Network and Pepsi have come to an agreement,
averting Tuesday's (Feb. 11) boycott. Pepsi, the Ludacris Foundation &
Rush Arts have agreed to a multi-year, multi-million dollar partnership to
support the arts in communities at risk. "We hope Pepsi's investment
inspires other companies to invest more in grassroots programs as opposed
to some bureaucracies who aren't always effective," Russell Simmons told
AllHipHop.com.
joel facelift: haha um
joel facelift: the ludacris foundation??
Dubplatestyle: haha i know!
joel facelift: the foundation for throwing bows
joel facelift: for the furtherment of rough sex
Dubplatestyle: the foundation for the advancement of the global sex village

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, February 10, 2003 7:32 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
the foundation for compatible titties and ass.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, February 10, 2003 7:34 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Ah, the joys of this spam. I wondered at this as well.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, February 10, 2003 7:35 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Luda cares for his hoes/foundation gives 'em ho-mes/get off tha streets/I throw you a bone/It ain't hopeless, like I'm never ho-less/keep the peace/and satisfy my whore-mones/fuck the ho-lice/eatin' doublized portions/gettin' fat off doughnuts/from tim whore-tons/Luda save souls/with a charity foundation/and bacheler's recreation/headquarted off whore-land heights/where I keep my interns/up all night/return the favor/they mouths full of ludacris flavor!

ahem.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, February 11, 2003 1:58 AM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
ahem.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, February 11, 2003 1:35 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

*cough*

ahem.

awkward silence

KRS-One had the right idea, but he was a bit too crazed. I prefer Michael Franti of the DHH. He's Jello Biafra with a tan!

-- Lord Custos X, Friday, June 14, 2002 12:00 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

― and what, Monday, May 28, 2007 11:23 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2008/06/barack-obama-jo.html

Norquist dropped by The Times' Washington bureau today and, as part of his negative critique of Obama's liberal stances on economic issues and other matters, he termed the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee "John Kerry with a tan."

I told her I ain't so sure
about this place
it's hard to play a gig in this town
and keep a straight face
seems like everyone here's got a plan
it's kind of like nashville with a tan, but,
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye

My question is: 'Did Kevin Faeces put the ice-cream in the bacon?'

― funky house septic (haitch), Monday, 27 October 2008 23:53 (28 seconds ago) Bookmark

surely not quasi-racist enough

Tupac will release a new single on Halloween describing his past relationship with Obama and how Obama murdered him. I got the bootleg already:

(To be sung by Tupac)

Back in the days, me and and Barry used to roll dice;
on the corner betting quarters sippin orange slice.

Then O got big went to law school;
befrending Jews; learnin rules; writin law reviews.

The other day I say a poster with my man Barack;
On the same corner where we smoked ---- and sold rocks.

I can't beleeeeve; My man made it so faaarrrr;
we used hustle now his muscle's in Patrol Caarrrs.

Till now ya'll thought my murder was a mystereeee;
How could it beeee; when it was all plain to seeee; how can I rest in peeeeace.

It wasn't Kevin, it wasn't no Mac-11; It was a brother named Barack with a silver glock... (gunshots...fadeout).

--

Lame, but I couldn't help myself.

DM

Posted by laborlibert | October 30, 2008 11:23 AM

Fight Club 1910 (A Masterpiece Theatre/Merchant and Ivory Production)

yo i put a flexfit foie gras through the dishwasher with one of those anal sex cages and the shit never was the same

dont be a cheap ass, just buy a new fucking goose and have more than one favorite dish, you got to switch your style up, that way you always looking fresh

fuck blowing a goose

- j0hn d

I think there should be genres called:

applecore - although I hear it's rotten
lamppost - some people say that you can't dance to it, but the secret is to stand completely still

There are also offshoots:

applecorelamppost - difficult music to play, as people are always complaining about the balance and the requirement for musicians to be very tall
applecorecore - started by the people who were the original applecorers, who subsequently got fed up with the rampant commercialism of applecore
postlamppost - sounds like what you get if you remove the lamppost from lamppost, basically silence to which the dancers flail around madly
lampapple - not to be confused with lamb papal, where people dress up as the pope and chant baaaahhhh

These different genres have all been collected together under the umbrella term "rubbish". So, for example, you will here a musician claim that their band plays "applecore on a rubbish tip".

― snoball, Wednesday, November 19, 2008 1:34 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

what in the world

jeez

Straight outta Deutschland, crazy motherfucker named Florian/From the gang called Kraftwerk/When I'm called off, I got a bicycle/Run your ass over, and bodies are hauled off/You too, boy, if ya fuck with me/Die Polizei are gonna hafta come and get me/Off yo ass, that's how I'm goin out/For the punk motherfuckers that's showin out/Bavarians start to mumble, they wanna rumble/Mix em and cook em in a pot like sausage/Goin off on a motherfucker like that with a gat that's pointed at yo ass/So give it up smooth/Ain't no tellin when I'm down for a jack move/Here's a murder rap to keep yo dancin with a crime record like Baader Meinhof/The Uzi is the tool/Don't make me act the motherfuckin fool/Me you can go toe to toe, no maybe/I'm knockin 'varians out tha box, daily yo weekly, monthly and yearly/until them dumb motherfuckers see clearly/that I'm down with the capital DST/Boy you can't fuck with me/So when I'm in your neighborhood, you better duck/Coz Florian is crazy as fuck/As I leave, believe I'm stompin but when I come back, boy/I'm comin straight outta Deutschland/Peace.

Suggest Ban Permalink
― Todd Burns, Tuesday, March 5, 2002 5:00 PM Bookmark

Seriously though, it's getting to the point where the word "Lapland" is synonymous with "rip off shite"...

person A: "So how's that second hand car you bought?"
person B: "Disaster, I got Laplanded..."

― snoball, Saturday, 6 December 2008 18:05 (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

And don't get me started about Lapland Dancing Clubs...

― snoball, Saturday, 6 December 2008 18:06 (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

You can look at the reindeer, but if you do any more than that, the elves throw you out into the street. Meanwhile, in the VIP room, there's blatant drug use. People are candy caning it.

― snoball, Saturday, 6 December 2008 18:13 (48 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Thread should really be named "rolling snoball post thread"

Straight outta Deutschland, crazy motherfucker named Florian/From the gang called Kraftwerk/When I'm called off, I got a bicycle/Run your ass over, and bodies are hauled off/You too, boy, if ya fuck with me/Die Polizei are gonna hafta come and get me/Off yo ass, that's how I'm goin out/For the punk motherfuckers that's showin out/Bavarians start to mumble, they wanna rumble/Mix em and cook em in a pot like sausage/Goin off on a motherfucker like that with a gat that's pointed at yo ass/So give it up smooth/Ain't no tellin when I'm down for a jack move/Here's a murder rap to keep yo dancin with a crime record like Baader Meinhof/The Uzi is the tool/Don't make me act the motherfuckin fool/Me you can go toe to toe, no maybe/I'm knockin 'varians out tha box, daily yo weekly, monthly and yearly/until them dumb motherfuckers see clearly/that I'm down with the capital DST/Boy you can't fuck with me/So when I'm in your neighborhood, you better duck/Coz Florian is crazy as fuck/As I leave, believe I'm stompin but when I come back, boy/I'm comin straight outta Deutschland/Peace.

Suggest Ban Permalink
― Todd Burns, Tuesday, March 5, 2002 5:00 PM Bookmark

this is pretty funny

The Conservative Toby Keith

Oh, and Cutty suggested Fight! (Fight Club 1910, the Musical)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, February 12, 2005 9:33 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

nice one cutty!

Okay but please help me get this straight. Kermit has a problem with being green. Right? But his nephew Robin can't even climb the stairs. Is that what I'm getting here? I mean oh my god, what a tragic family of mental illness.

― Can't Get The Gin If You're Not Plugged In (Bimble), Sunday, January 11, 2009 5:44 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

With Bimble, I do wonder if he's completely serious.

Kermit, email me.

I mean oh my god, what a tragic family of mental illness.

...

is it gothic? i think i could go for a gothic 50 cent album, it would suit his drawled delivery.

"I don't know what you heard about me/
but I'm a motherfucking U.N.D.E.R.T.A.K.E.R"

― Jay-Kid (Jay-Kid), Thursday, February 3, 2005 2:11 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

What's it all about, Alfie the 13-year-old father?

custos holocaust

Holocust

that was a missed opportunity but humour is basically ruined for me at present

don't dare to look at ecnomomy musical thread tbh

its a comic book about comic books.

― Comic Book Morbius (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, February 18, 2009 3:33 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This isn't entirely accurate. It's also a comic about individually wrapped sugar cubes.

― Magdalen Goobers (Oilyrags), Wednesday, 18 February 2009 21:53 (45 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
it is a comic about the glum zinger in the penultimate panel on every other page.

― Fox Force Five Punchline (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 18 February 2009 21:58 (41 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
It's a comic about lesbians buying porn.

― kingfish, Wednesday, 18 February 2009 22:00 (39 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
it's about an alternate reality in which people really do smoke tobacco out of crack pipes.

― Fox Force Five Punchline (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 18 February 2009 22:06 (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
its about things that are owl-shaped

― contenderizer, Wednesday, 18 February 2009 22:06 (32 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
It's about the button holding down your right epaulet coming undone.

― Magdalen Goobers (Oilyrags), Wednesday, 18 February 2009 22:20 (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
It's about a giant fake space vagina.

― chap, Wednesday, 18 February 2009 22:33 (5 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yall is dilutinatin what lord custos tribute thread was supposed to be about

that post doesnt have any html begin/end tags, made-up dialogue, a white guy talkin rap slang, or the courier font

get back 2 me when u see some of that otherwise keep ur anger at bad joeks to ur damn self

point taken, tho 'anger is overstating it

y'all are confusing custos-specific lolz with general ilx gaywaddery

― strongohulkington, Friday, April 27, 2007 4:54 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

whenever old custos threads get revived it takes me a sec to remember that dude was a real poster and not a challops-esque meme

and not JUST a challops-esque meme i guess

i am on a couple of e-mail lists filled with people i went to college with that feature nothing but custos humor

y'all are confusing custos-specific lolz with general ilx gaywaddery

― strongohulkington, Friday, April 27, 2007 4:54 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Like I said, can't we have "rolling snoball thread"?

oh man

(xpost) how about "no"?

can't we have "rolling snoball thread"?

no.

custos is real

i will show you how to do it

<font face="Courier">FADE IN

J ANDWHAT JAMESON is sitting at his desk at the Daily Planet. His wrinkled shirtsleeves are rolled to the elbows and his white lawyer's collar radiates the reek of sweat and anger. He pushes back the stack of the ilx-related gaywaddery across the desk to a visibly nervous SHIPLEY. Veins in ANDWHAT's neck threaten to burst as he chomps deeply on his stogie.

ZOOM IN on SHIPLEY, eyes rolling side to side, sweating bullets

SHIPLEY

*gulps*

but ... but ... but ...

REVERSE ANGLE on ANDWHAT JAMESON, leaning back in chair, crossing arms.

JAMESON

That post doesnt have any html begin/end tags, made-up dialogue, a white guy talkin rap slang, or the courier font! Get back to me when you see some of that! Otherwise keep your anger at bad jokes to your damn self!

</font>

oh man

FADE IN
J ANDWHAT JAMESON is sitting at his desk at the Daily Planet. His wrinkled shirtsleeves are rolled to the elbows and his white lawyer's collar radiates the reek of sweat and anger. He pushes back the stack of the ilx-related gaywaddery across the desk to a visibly nervous SHIPLEY. Veins in ANDWHAT's neck threaten to burst as he chomps deeply on his stogie.
ZOOM IN on SHIPLEY, eyes rolling side to side, sweating bullets
SHIPLEY
*gulps*
but ... but ... but ...
REVERSE ANGLE on ANDWHAT JAMESON, leaning back in chair, crossing arms.
JAMESON
That post doesnt have any html begin/end tags, made-up dialogue, a white guy talkin rap slang, or the courier font! Get back to me when you see some of that! Otherwise keep your anger at bad jokes to your damn self!

you get the idea

fucking up the html makes it even better

Hey ILX, You Can Also Capitalize the First Letter of Every Word While You're Talking About Jello Biafra

</custos>

the thing about custos, and i know ive pointed this out like 5 times on ilx already, is that he never just did the end tag he always did the OPENING TAG too which kills me to this day

conscientous custos.

custos, what is your attraction to that TT tag? i find it mildly annoying.

― ron (ron), Thursday, July 10, 2003 8:39 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

The teletype tag is beeeeyoootiful. It makes what you're quoting look official, professional, clean and legible.
I have a policy. If I quote something said my an ILM'er I use Italics. If I quote something from "outside" the forum, I use Teletype. I think it's a good policy.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, July 10, 2003 10:39 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

that should have been in italics ethan

eeeeuuuuuwww. Comic Sans always looks shitty regardless of the context. (I have a hundred Comic Book fonts on my system, and every single goddamned one of them is 100x better than Comic Sans.)
Besides, I think teletype might not really be a font, but a monospacing feature...or somesuch nonsense....that modifies a font.
I haven't done any experiments though.
(Heads over to the HTML Playground area)

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Thursday, July 10, 2003 11:04 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

It's a good policy.

Wow, I must have missed that one. And he never even used one of his hundred comic book fonts. :(

xp

Are ILXers Dinosaurs?

custos in top form
Beethoven Was Black

oh man

FADE INJ ANDWHAT JAMESON is sitting at his desk at the Daily Planet. His wrinkled shirtsleeves are rolled to the elbows and his white lawyer's collar radiates the reek of sweat and anger. He pushes back the stack of the ilx-related gaywaddery across the desk to a visibly nervous SHIPLEY. Veins in ANDWHAT's neck threaten to burst as he chomps deeply on his stogie.ZOOM IN on SHIPLEY, eyes rolling side to side, sweating bulletsSHIPLEY*gulps*but ... but ... but ...REVERSE ANGLE on ANDWHAT JAMESON, leaning back in chair, crossing arms.JAMESONThat post doesnt have any html begin/end tags, made-up dialogue, a white guy talkin rap slang, or the courier font! Get back to me when you see some of that! Otherwise keep your anger at bad jokes to your damn self!
― moonship journey to baja, Thursday, February 19, 2009 1:02 AM (3 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

looool never saw this

of course c&p'ing made it look all weird but w/e

official, professional, clean and legible.

this isn't really custos-y, but I just realized that AiNYC has a phrase he likes almost as much as "big audio mistake" and wanted to post it in the same thread:

Alex in NYC (vassifer) wrote this on thread Beach Boys - OPO/POO/whatever on board I Love Music on Jan 13, 2003

Never really liked not "got" the Beach Boys (I know, I know: "What's to get? They wrote brilliant pop!" Sure, but I don't understand why people act like they invented the wheel, and I could never fathom how people regarded them as peers to the Beatles in any possible way). That said, I'll go with "Wendy".
Also, Mike Love? C'mon! He's indefensible!!! That guy needs a goddamn Mouth Diaper for all the shit that spews out of it.

Alex in NYC (vassifer) wrote this on thread Musicians who die that ILM will have to really struggle to say good things about in his RIP thread. on board I Love Music on Jan 14, 2003

Once again, Mike Love needs a MOUTH DIAPER for all the shit that plops out of it.
There's a name for a band: Mouth Diaper!

Alex in NYC (vassifer) wrote this on thread Beach Boys - OPO/POO/whatever on board I Love Music on Nov 13, 2003

Also, Mike Love? C'mon! He's indefensible!!! That guy needs a goddamn Mouth Diaper for all the shit that spews out of it.
Jesus, January must've been one angry month for me.

Alex in NYC (vassifer) wrote this on thread Classic Or Dud: Laurie Anderson's "O Superman" on board I Love Music on May 4, 2005

and in terms of melodic content compares unfavourably to other hit singles of the period, such as "Endless Love" by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie.
You need a mouth diaper, `cos you talk an awful lot of shit.

Alex in NYC wrote this on thread Would trade your music collection for every album Robert Christgau declared a "Must To Avoid"? on board I Love Music on Jan 13, 2008

COCTEAU TWINS: Blue Bell Knoll

Christgau talks so much shit, he needs a mouth diaper.

what a disgusting phrase, i can't imagine using it once letting alone becoming attached to it!!

be careful, last time i made fun of alex's posting style (albeit more maliciously) i got a ream of shit from half of ilx e_e

"Lord Custos Epsilon" sounds like a B-level WWF wrestler in the mid-1980s.

Who was this guy, anyway?

somewhere between troll & aspie nerd.

he invented challops

rad darkhorse scenario: boy was never inside the father did it all for publicity and is about to have a press conference where he informs us the government is controlled by lizard people

― ice cr?m, Thursday, 15 October 2009 20:29 (6 minutes ago) Permalink

isn't that more of a darklizard scenario?

― pariah carey (Mr. Que), Thursday, 15 October 2009 20:29 (6 minutes ago)

WHICH IS MOST DANGEROUSEST - texting while driving or throwing knives at someone's face?

rad darkhorse scenario: boy was never inside the father did it all for publicity and is about to have a press conference where he informs us the government is controlled by lizard people

― ice cr?m, Thursday, 15 October 2009 20:29 (6 minutes ago) Permalink

isn't that more of a darklizard scenario?

― pariah carey (Mr. Que), Thursday, 15 October 2009 20:29 (6 minutes ago)

― moonship journey to baja, Thursday, October 15, 2009 4:37 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

see the thing with this one is that custos would have actually presented us with a formatted script for that very scenario

lol at ppl calling shit Custosian while completely missing exactly what was made Custos infamous

yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah

yeah </beatles>

• yeah

• said like the rapper
• little john

cough

OH, WRONG THREAD

December 4, 2003
(Today's list was originally published on December 14, 1999)

The Top 20 Slogans for Legalized Marijuana

20> Got Buzz?
19> Pot: When You Care Enough Not to Care At All
18> A Day Without Pot is Like School
17> Weed My Lips!
16> Hey, America -- Let's Blow This joint!
15> What's So Great About Short-Term Memory Anyway?
14> Obey Your Jones
13> Hemp: The world's practical solution to making, like, paper and rope and necklaces and stuff
12> It's Not Just For Glaucoma Anymore!
11> Help Eradicate Road Rage in Our Lifetime
10> Official Sponsor of the NBA
9> Because the waste is a terrible thing to mi... Dude! I totally f***ed that up!
8> Cannabis: The PRE-Coital Smoke
7> This is your brain.
This is your brain on pot.
This is your brain desperately searching for Doritos.
6> When Was the Last Time You REALLY Looked at Your Hand?
5> SMOKE POT! (Did we just say that out loud? Or did we just think it?)
4> Recommended by 5 Out of 5 Deadheads
3> Just Doob It
2> It's the all-the-time smokey, skunky, sticky, greeny, seedy, stemmy, doobie so-you-can-get-high medicine.

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Slogan for Legalized Marijuana...

1> Skull-Shaped Bong: $12.00
Primo Maui-Grown Bud: $25.00
Watching Teletubbies with Your Buddies: Priceless

Discuss.

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Friday, December 5, 2003 12:13 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

omg 4ever @ custos

also lol that "primo maui-grown bud" would be $25 dollars.

sorry for double dollars there

Discuss.

completely missing exactly what was made Custos infamous

what, exactly, did make custos infamous?

HE SEEMS FASCINATING.

a constant desire to be funny, allied with and scuppered by a total tone-deafness in the realms of humour, social sensitivity, racial puppetry and so on

Salem - What kind of music genre is this ?

A++, ilxor. actual irl lols

― markers, Thursday, October 14, 2010 10:37 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://i53.tinypic.com/osd8oh.gif

haha waht

dude can open a door to space I guess

how many times has markers posted some combination of "looooool" or "looooooooooool" or "irl lols" or "A++" -- feel like that's about 60% of his posts -- i would research this, but we all know what happened to grady

how many of your posts are saying something negative about what another poster's doing?

let people be

i thought that was sperm

he's just asking the important questions

and goole otm

^^^^^

how many of your posts are saying something negative about what another poster's doing?

― markers, Thursday, October 14, 2010 2:25 PM (45 seconds ago) Bookmark

this is only relative to the frequency with which ilxor posts & you egg him on

i thought that was sperm

― goole, Thursday, October 14, 2010 3:25 PM (2 minutes ago)

yeah, thought it was just a dude being sucked out into space when I first saw it but yr right O_O

http://fishslayer.tripod.com/IagoBadge.gif

A+

irl lols

for the love of all that is holy I can see why he changed his name!

first posts justifies it all

catherine vagina

any thread that has mark g & snoball firing jokes like they're zach galifianakis gets the gasface

this was and what to me a cpl years ago, and it was a gd point, well made:

yall is dilutinatin what lord custos tribute thread was supposed to be about

that post doesnt have any html begin/end tags, made-up dialogue, a white guy talkin rap slang, or the courier font

get back 2 me when u see some of that otherwise keep ur anger at bad joeks to ur damn self

― harry s tfuman (and what), Wednesday, 18 February 2009

sorry if this is already here ... from human centipeded thread

First grotesque anal grafted stills for Tom Six's HUMAN CENTIPEDE (Fright Fest 2009 thread)

ultimate custos tribute

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnUKmk5Lz50&feature=player_embedded#at=158

appropriately there's no less than 4 references to explosive diarrhea

Btw for a min I thought u were D. WADE!
thekingusr 1 week ago

{David is awestruck. The wind picks up. In the air the huge image of the Space Jockey is forming from the clouds. He appears to be walking from the stars. The image is ghostly at first, but steadily gains color and coherence.}

Space Jockey: Humans ...
Michael Fassbender: Father?
Space Jockey: Humans, you have forgotten me.
Michael Fassbender: No. How could we?
Space Jockey: You have forgotten who you are, and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, human. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of Life.

― the late great, Tuesday, June 5, 2012 11:46 AM

should've remembered to do it in courier

http://trapsntrunks.com/2012/11/27/video-k-yay-king-of-the-custos/

My Fellow Americans,
I come before you tonight as a candidate for the Vice-Presidency and as a man whose honesty and integrity has been questioned. Now, the usual political thing to do when charges are made against you is to either ignore them or to deny them without giving details. I believe we have had enough of that in the United States, particularly with the present Administration in Washington, D.C. I am sure that you have read the charges, and you have heard it, that I, Senator Nixon, took $18,000 from a group of my supporters. Now, was that wrong? And let me say that it was wrong. I am saying it, incidentally, that it was wrong, just not illegal, because it isn't a question of whether it was legal or illegal, that isn't enough. The question is, Have I licked people's butts? It feels like the answer should be no, but , yes, I have licked people's butts, and in fact, I do lick people's butts.

― what is google (schlump), Monday, December 10, 2012 10:20 PM (Yesterday)

Hurting's tex-mex-themed Monkees cover band

Make up words to the instrumental theme song of a movie that describe that movie, then try to guess that movie.

i feel like i took part in a robbery and now i'm snitching to the cops but

she's -- coldblooded, check it and see
got a fetish for the civility
come on nancy, you can do more than that
she's coldblooded, she's coldblooded

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 5 May 2019 16:17 (three hours ago) Permalink

it was very impressive

I still maintain the one of mine Ward posted here was actually funny, humf.