"hey malkovich, heads up!" ::throws can at malkovich's head::

yeah probably the most wtf funny moment in a giant string of wtf

if this is in BJM, I don't remember it (and I like that film)

you're crazy!

fortunately this album comes equipped with big john malkovich

Byron Jonestown Massacree

the backstory

ok that is awesome

just happened/ not scripted = bullshit

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Y5FJz8DGF68

sidebar: what edn of the dvd has a commentary?

chaki otm also.

good question. none that i can find. a youtube hoax! (with a not-bad spike jonze impersonation.)

it is, in fact, in the script:

Cars whiz by Malkovich. Someone yells from a passing car.

MOTORIST
Hey, Malkovich! Think fast!

Malkovich looks up. A beer can comes flying out of the car
and hits him on the head.

when i have a director commentary im gonna pretend like the whole movie was unintended improvisation. at the end ill be all like sooo it was supposed to be one of those movies where 30-somethings sit around the kitchen table talking about their feelings then they have sex

i'd be v surprised if you could find a shooting script of BJM online -- if you find the original draft of the screenplay it's very different

"I piss orange."

published screenplays are usually just a transcript of the film as shown.

but this still sounds like bullshit -- unless malkovich is unusually chilled out, generally crew-members throwing metal objects at hollywood stars is a big no-no in the profession.

in this case the original script has been all over the web for years. (here, for example.) and even though it has lots of differences with the final film, it still has that line in it.

of course even if spike jonze ever did a commentary, it would undoubtedly be a put-on.

anyway fuck snopes, from now on i'm running all dubious internet material past chaki.

but this still sounds like bullshit -- unless malkovich is unusually chilled out, generally crew-members throwing metal objects at hollywood stars is a big no-no in the profession.

-- That one guy that hit it and quit it, Wednesday, September 26, 2007 12:41 PM (28 minutes ago)

have you ever seen Video Days [blind skate video] or perhaps Jackass? Spike Jonez is not exactly the most "pro" director out there.

there's no way that's real

you known that video he did with that guy on fire, running down the street?

died later.

that skater in the sonic youth video? that guy turned into a scientologist with an emmy award winning show.

lol isnt spike jonze pretty notorious for basically making everything up? also the can-throwing is integrated into the shot too well, it's almost impossible for that shit 2 have been spontaneous

plus the dialog coming from a moving vehicle is remarkably clear, no?

er anyway i'm now more interested in if it is someone pretending to be jonze in a youtube spoof, or if they have done a dvd w. commentary. a whole commentary of made-up shit would be funnies.

i feel dumb :(

lol isnt spike jonze pretty notorious for basically making everything up? also the can-throwing is integrated into the shot too well, it's almost impossible for that shit 2 have been spontaneous

-- cankles, Thursday, September 27, 2007 9:16 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

^^ exactly

WTF THIS ISNT EVEN AN ARGUMENT

exactly

draw a line under it and move on

Charlie Sheen rules in this movie.

Charlie Sheen is totally underrated as a comic actor

He's the highest paid comic actor on TV, dude

yeah, ON TV

Charlie Sheen is totally underrated as a dramatic actor

WALL $TREET BATCHES

Charlie Sheen is totally underrated as an action actor: NAVY SEALS AKA MY FAVORITE MOVIE 1990-1992

http://www.edwardfrench.com/Scannedpix/Bald/Sheen.jpg

I actually like the TV show with the kid and the other guy!

I'd rather watch crappy sitcoms than Lost, Heroes or 24. Those shows are for aspies.

tru. everyone love raymond is somewhat relaxing.

i love sitcoms but two and a half men sucks

everyone love raymond is somewhat relaxing.

i'd rather have my kneecaps pried off by midgets with crowbars.

You'll understand when you're older, max.

Thank you, Kevin in CHI.

i know raymond gets alot of hate but i rep for it. deloris roberts and peter boyle are pretty great.

i used to hate king of queens with a passion, now i don't :(

i have kinda gotten into two and a half men, and i think king of queens is really funny

i don't like sitcoms, except for girlfriends

king of queens is funny, two and a half men just isnt, unless maybe you like it "ironically" in which case you dont have a sense of humor anyway

kevin james kind of has genius comic delivery. plus patton oswald.

i love shows where schlubby guys get hot chicks. its like my life.

I fucking freaked for Bernie Mac somewhere around season 2 or 3. I haven't watched it in years, though.

I love the way he addresses "americuhr" in the first person shots between scenes, and his lazy eye.

lol @ king of queens where jerry stiller is paying back everybody he owes by sneaking them into the movies & they get the dog-walker to sneak in with him & patton instead of paying her & shes trying to explain that she needs to get paid because her landlord only takes cash & jerry stiller offers to bring him down & sneak him into the movies too

the 2 1/2 men i laughed at was the one where the wormy non-sheen guy suspects that he's gay - he has this long monologue in the middle about how his entire life he's never felt like anyone else and how every relationship with a woman has been an abject failure and heterosexual male culture is repulsive to him that could've been written by r. crumb or something

The pacing of 2 and a half men is amazing.

sheen is mostly boring & the pimpin jokes are lazy but i really do think the other guy is something special

Sheen was born Carlos Irwin Estévez lol

the other guy was duckie in pretty in pink?

jon cryer ftw

# Penn & Teller Get Killed (1989) .... 3rd Frat Boy
... aka Dead Funny
# Rap Master Ronnie: A Report Card (1988) (V)

i love shows where schlubby guys get hot chicks

haha i hate these shows, but king of queens is funny. jerry stiller all the way.

kevin james is adorable, though!

the schlubby guys thing is like every sitcom ever since the honeymooners.

when will schlubby chicks get their turn?

http://www.abc1tv.co.uk/download/cms_res/1024x768_ltp.jpg
Less Than Perfect starring Sara Rue

i have never heard of that show!

does that mean andy dick isn't schlubby? smarmy, i guess, not schlubby.

...who is really kind of hot. xp not andy dick

Kevin James is...ew. No.

whats that one where magical negroes teach sheen the joys of drill in the brig - it maybe actually the worst ever

You know how people always complain that a Southern accent marks them as "dumb" or "unemployable" or "uneducated"? Yeah well Southern doesn't bother me but replace it with "Bronx/Brooklyn/Italian/Joe Lunchpail ANYTHING" for me and you get the same effect.

WHA !

IMNA GO GETAH BAT !

Chicago Kevin and Laurel should star in a sitcom

chicago kevin james

Actually last person I totally had the hots for looked not completely unlike K James but he sounded like a Cali surfer all the way. Adorable to me.

you just described me

Chicago Kevin and Laurel should star in a sitcom

-- chaki, Wednesday, December 12, 2007 2:22 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Dr Morbius for wacky neighbor

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/3/2007/12/huckxmas.jpg

Well then Chaks, I'll tell you exactly what I told him: Move to New York and we'll see where it goes. Also it wd help if you were a badass ex-paratrooper with knife skillz and possibly Irish.

Move to New York and we'll see where it goes.

^ classic bad idea

you didnt really describe me.

u_u

Oh well don't worry about me, Jon, it died on the vine anyway.

Chicago Kevin and Laurel should star in a sitcom

-- chaki, Wednesday, December 12, 2007 1:22 PM (Wednesday, December 12, 2007 1:22 PM) Bookmark Link

cancelled due to lack of lolz.

yah. a show starring you would have as many lols as a pbs wall street report.

it's not funny cause it's true. ;_;

SADDEST SHOW EVER

Plus I think the guidelines against portrayal of substance abuse would cancel us out fairly quickly. Smokers just aren't popular with the kids these days.

chicago kevin drinks alot. you can tell by the way he posts about how wasted he gets everyday.

i don't drink a lot i just have a low tolerance.

i should pay more attention to your daily posts about drinking.

You should pay more attention to what's yr damage, anyway?

ILX is totally PMS today.

Chicago Kevin and Laurel should star in a sitcom

http://img519.imageshack.us/img519/5697/daysofwineandrosesea9.jpg

Well the whiskey makes you sweeter than you could ever really be.

That's me, by the way. Kevin's a dove, a dove.

http://www.mortystv.com/showcards/john_larroquette_show.jpg

sara rue is hardly "schlubby"!

indeed

i agree but that was the premise of the show, ding dongs.

I said she was kind of hot! :D C'mon she was on Popular, obv she is a beautiful genius.

you'll rue the day you called her schlubby, chaki

lolo

Oh hi, Ethan. I didn't know you were still here.

i always confused her with liz vassey from the tick & that joey lawrence show

hi laurel! you like to talk about smoking a lot

It's one of the few pleasures left to me in my condition.

My Mormon dad took me to an all-smoking bar for lunch this afternoon. I smell like two packs of Marlboro Reds 100s.

you're mormon???

My father is. I'm not.

I was actually raised Catholic.

so is jesus satan's brother or what

Meet me at the Juicy-Juice Juice Bar after work today and I'll spill my goddamn guts for ya

bump

i saw but that still doesnt explain WHY he hates him. futher postings on this subject to malkovitch thread please.

-- chaki, Thursday, December 13, 2007 6:25 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

no idea why, i like them both

for the record i do not hate john but we have a history of not getting along online and in real life (see the party at juila's, the thirsty thursday at bar on buena, etc etc).

what did he do to you at julia's party and at thirsty thursday?

it's in the past. we don't get along, leave it at that.

woah ok

did he hit on you?

dude let it go, unless you're writing a social historywiki of ilx, which is a really good idea

*poke*

i think it's time to subpoena jaymc's email records

xp

http://www.hafdis.dk/pictures/silly/animals/Bear%20screaming%20at%20the%20camera.jpg

i'm sure it's all in the .xls anyway.

i bet he hit on you

at the risk of ruining your masturbatory fantasy, no he did not hit on me.

pwnd me

way to masturbate, dorito breath

masturbate.xls

for the record i do not hate john but we have a history of not getting along online and in real life (see the party at juila's, the thirsty thursday at bar on buena, etc etc).

-- chicago kevin, Thursday, December 13, 2007 7:23 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark Link

is the john in question john malkovich??????? if not gtfo my thread u siccening little fagbabies

I WAS THERE!

dude from king of queens endorsed giuliani

what about his hot tv wife

this reminds me. you know that elfin waitress from adaptation that nic cage undressed in his mind? i sort of fell in love with her for a minute in that movie. randomly, i ended up meeting her at a party about 18 months after it came out. she didn't really do anything for me in person and i lost my crush. she was funny w/ minor arrested development role though.

/suzy

I hit on Catherine Keener thinking she had gone to Brown and I knew her or something

http://www.wellingtoncheeranddance.com/images/gocougars.gif

i hit on lil mo a couple years ago and she tried to pull me onto the dancefloor at the billboard hiphop and r&b awards here

BRAGGIN 2007

braggin 2005

did yall know 2 1/2 men has shorty from heavenly creatures in it?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/9b/TwoandaHalfMen-Cast.png
far left

Weird. She's apparently married to the guy that was the priest on House this week.

In 2002, Peaches appeared in "Hideous Man", a short film directed by John Malkovich. The short was created as a showcase for clothing designed by Bella Freud, and featured the poetry of Gary Sinise.[18]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aq4qH76O_5I

gr8080 acquainted me w/this sweet malkovich/sinise collabo - whole thing is on the utube

Larry the Agent: John! Great to see you! Sorry about the cunt at reception.
John Malkovich: This is my fiancée Maxine.
Larry the Agent: Great to see you, Maxine. Sorry about the cunt at reception.

really though this movie is way too much concept not enough heart

let it be itself

I feel there is enough heart in this movie

which makes you, Hurting 2, wrong.

http://edelmangallery.com/exhibitions-and-projects/exhibition-pages/2014/sandro-miller-malkovich,-malkovich,-malkovich-homage-to-photographic-masters.html

I was frightened about watching it for the first time in 21 years, but -- wow! The moment when we realize we're in Malkovich's head: one of the best movie needle drops I've ever seen.