rolling nyc subway ads discussion thread

if i ever get hit by a car the first place i am going is trolman lichtman and glaser

also definitely planning a trip to aruba, everyone seems really friendly, if a little weird-looking

i can't wait to get $10 back for every $100 i spend in transit purchases before december 31!

dr. zizmor saved my life, btw.

1-888-MARGARITA

NO SE CONFORME CON MENOS!

Dr. Z accepts Master Charge

There's apparently some college where paternalistic older men teach their professions to young women and get uncomfortably close in the process.

Also Bloomberg can fuck off with telling me not to eat a muffin.

Speaking of paternalistic older men.

uh oh hammertoe! downtown podiatry to the rescue!

What was up with those Kanye ads? You take a pill and turn into KanYe?

it's an absolut ad.

http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/272/vacimillionbanerwk6.jpg

http://gothamist.com/2008/10/28/palin.php

http://images.barnesandnoble.com/images/29000000/29003395.jpg
That's just book one of an eight volume series guys!

plastering the car w/single ad = totale dud

MTA should get corporate sponsors "the L train to Carnasie brought to you by citibank"

i liked those wrapped buses, though!
xpost

they look intersting.

when the taxis had flowers on them wtf

I like when the shuttle trains betw Grand Central and Times Sq are completely wrapped on the INSIDE, so far I have seen them be woods and be water (ad for an aquarium??). It's even more fun getting a seat on the train when your seat is made of FOREST.

that does sound cool - never seen that - i think ive taken that train once

on the t/s shuttle last thursday a train had wraparound ads that looked like old school graffiti (from a distance)

^^ on the outside of the train. the trains wrapped on the inside are like theme=park restaurants

yeah theyre only doing it on shuttles right now for some reason

i sat on the MAD MEN train

who can believe Fitzgerald & Fitzgerald approved a boxing leprechaun logo

when the taxis had flowers on them wtf

I thought that was Bloomberg's subtle revenge for the protests from cab drivers at the time.

http://www.mynetworktv.com/banners/jpg_banner_1223084183.jpg
http://www.wwe.com/content/media/touts/medium/29062/8558884

^^ not as bad as the tyler perry reruns ads

omg that one glowering guy from the wrestling ad genuinely disturbs me - he looks like an actually terrible person

is that a relative of jimmy sooka(sp?)?

Ok, Arubans are mildly creepy imho -- it's like they want me to come there because THEY'RE desperate for friends.

apparently they have cacti too. and you can talk to the wildlife.

http://nastynets.com/?p=379

ilx: 90,000 friends you never knew you had

mrs. z is shy!

did u guys know dr z designs those ads HIMSELF!

i admire his choice of color palette.

i can't wait to get $10 back for every $100 i spend in transit purchases before december 31!

today i noticed the rest of the ad: "great, now can you do something about the price of a studio below 23rd street?"

you fucking douches! can you do something about the price of any apartment anywhere?!?!!

lol all those empty midtown studios to be had for $800/mo

she's not looking for studios above 23rd street

it was a he.

shes lookin 4 dat dik

http://www.desktopexchange.com/gallery/albums/WWE_wallpaper/Triple_H_WWE_2.jpg
HI DERE

Mainly just starting this because I have an RFID -

There's this attorney ad with a dark background and a picture of this middle-aged dude (sort of handsome, trustworthy-looking) and then it says "Robert _____, paid spokesperson" - which I think is hilarious because it's just his picture and he's not saying anything.

Oh nm, figured it out - it's Wilentz and Baker, featuring John Roland, compensated spokesperson.

or rather Wilens & Baker

http://o.onionstatic.com/images/23/23402/original/700.jpg?1695

o_O

classic

Oh nm, figured it out - it's Wilentz and Baker, featuring John Roland, compensated spokesperson.

That guy was an utterly banal local news anchor in the '80s and '90s. Trustworthy for life, obviously.

My fave EZ Pawn ad was the one featuring the beehived gal who looked like she was a 1964 Shirelles concert attendee.

yeah, something was so weirdly transfixing about that beehive girl!

I'm kind of mezmerized by vaguely evil uncle sam tbh

i saw it again on the way home, the 1964 girl is for GEM Pawnbrokers.

http://i.imgur.com/V2EfafO.jpg

http://www.legendarylifestylemagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Jack-Ryan-Shadow-Recruit-Kenneth-Branagh-2-590x860.jpg

https://mobile.twitter.com/doctorzizmor

http://i.imgur.com/V2EfafO.jpg

:( :( :(

not an ad, but i really truly hate that smug poem that ends with the line about roast chicken and red wine.

I hate all these "in the know new yorker" ads for seamless and flatrate and that other storage company. Really, really hate.

And also I agree about that roast chicken and red wine poem.

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
http://payload.cargocollective.com/1/0/21022/257959/hipster.jpg

wow freud so hipster very brooklyn

all these bushwick kids with their "worlds greatest grandpa" tees

are you in NYC Ryan?

yeah I live here now! texan in the big city midnight cowboy style. minus the cowboy hat.

In Texas is there lots of overly familiar "Yeehaw we're Texas, truckballs on my Ford amirite?" advertising? Cuz it seems like a symptom of that whole "I'm a New Yorker" thing that comes from really wanting to identify with here because you left somewhere else that was too boring or square.

it's literally inescapable in Texas, with bonus bashing of other places as in the famous picante sauce ad where the salsa is revealed to be made in *shudder* new york city.

I think part of what I hate about the NYC stuff is that it's mostly stuff that does not actually make me feel proud

tbf though most salsa made here is some bullshit

"We order lots of takeout because we can't cook for ourselves, our apartments are small and shitty, and we're shallow, superficial, judgmental and materialistic!"

Is there even a salsa industry in NYC anymore? I mean if there is I'm sure it's triple-priced craft salsa or w/e.

hurting 2 is burt stanton and i claim my $5

take out is by far the #1 reason to live in ny, just one of the greatest human achievements ever, and i cook for myself v well fwiw

wait not takeout DELIVERY

I'm probably just bitter because there's no good delivery in my hood now. It's like, uzbek kebab and that's it.

http://www.steinerfoods.com/images/brands/brooklyn_salsa.jpg

first time i saw this, thought of those "new york city!" ads

^lumpy ketchup in jar.

just kidding i havent had that one.

having brooklyn itself as a logo is not a smart graphic choice

is that john bull in profile dressed like a chicken?

BK salsa is okay.
amazing local salsa to be found here: http://www.bbg.org/visit/event/chile_pepper_festival_2013
Discovered this stuff there: http://www.redheadhotsauce.com/ which is concentrated awesome

will try. looks like it might make a good michelada as well.

i bought six bottles from that lady about a year ago; gave three away and have been working through the second one since. plan on having some around as long as she makes it.

lol the nadir of the "HEY YOU LIVE IN NEW YORK ADS" was those yankees themed... maybe budweiser? ads with mo rivera and the caption CLOSER IN A CITY OF CLOSERS

zizmor and the language schools are still the only subway ads i like

http://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_men8kbwwf11qaxc2so1_500.jpg

lol

snickers' tribute to dr zizmor was solid tho

http://brandmediaweek.typepad.com/.a/6a00d834519bc269e201156f51d44e970b-pi

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZ5eljJhYKY

zizmor and the language schools are still the only subway ads i like

― max, Sunday, 12 January 2014 12:41 (5 hours ago) Permalink

i will always rep for john roland compensated spokesperson

I was alarmed to see that zizmor made an appearance in Bleeding Edge. id like to think the ad hasn't changed at all since 2001.

"the school of practical philosophy" is a cult right?

least fun cult ever

hugh jackman is into it!

iirc its just transcendetnal meditation

hope nobody has been #PouringOnThePounds recently, because there is an ad campaign directed squarely at YOU.

http://www.nyc.gov/html/doh/images/pr2013/pr043-13-image.gif

Also, the West Village version of that HIPSTER CHECKLIST Flatrate ad is equally awful

http://payload.cargocollective.com/1/0/21022/257959/westvillage_METRO_QTR_PG.jpg

Altho weird enough the version I saw had "Pet Stylist" or something as the 4th option.

Yeah as noted above, fuck those flatrate ads they're terrible. The concept is already bad, but the execution is so poor.

"west village" still annoys the fuck out of me. it's like saying "gin martini". it's "the village". that's it!!

How old are you?

Trying to picture film directors who live in the West Village struggling to figure out how to move, and somehow finding themselves on the G train and going "Aha!" Like, don't those people have assistants or something?

what's with the accent over the e in "move"?

everyone says west village

i will only watch another episode of Brooklyn 99 if Zizmor guests.

the daily mail o_O

Ugh, these KROLL SHOW ads. Nothing could be less funny.

This lucas guy needs to fuck off

yeah so watched a couple Kroll Show clips, it's even less funny than the ads

I spent half of this week's subway rides trying to get "Lucas With The Lid Off" out of my head. Wonder how many others are suffering from the same.

well one more now

Kroll guy seems real cutting edge, he has a character named Bobby Bottleservice

Almost every Kroll Show sketch seems to be a completely on-the-nose parody of some genre of reality show, and the humor of a lot of them revolves around Kroll doing bad ethnic or drag schtick.

sets dvr

Kroll is desperately unfunny and proportionately popular

http://ads.manhattanministorage.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/French-Aristocracy_f1.jpg

idgi

glad I'm not the only one

apparently those storage peeps have the inside word about the sans-culottes rising up against the corporatist Republicrats.

i read that as them suggesting that there's likely gonna be a CULTURE WAR (or RACE WAR, i dunno) so you should put your stuff in storage so it doesn't get damaged in the forthcoming riots
those fucking ads tend to be very knowing and batshit

I just thought that meant that you, the reader, never saw [your massive accumulation of junk] coming, but now here you are.

they tend to be very "msnbc" imho

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manhattan_Mini_Storage#Marketing

forks has got it i think

saw another one of those anxious "you're a real new yorker" ones from grubhub the other day. something like "calling the restaurant is like walking behind slow tourists."

spending less than $30 on brunch is like having an actual conversation with a stranger

im not sure what's worse, that or the equally anxious "im just too *real* to buy into the new york thing so i'm leaving" essays that pop up once in a while.

I think the former is worse. It's 10x more pervasive anyway.

God, I hate the storage ones (not typically on subway tho) that are like ''trying to raise kids in an NYC apartment is like trying to grow a tree in a thimble!'' Which maybe is supposed to be a chuckle for all us folks struggling to raise kids but it just seems like snobbery from people raised in giant suburban homes. Like, no, dickhead, growing a tree in a thimble is an absurdity, and raising kids in a New York apartment is something that happens all the time.

I assumed the French Aristocracy one was just like ''we're a REVOLUTION in storage!'' but I'm now leaning towards the forks reading.

wait the French Aristocracy one isn't an oblique uranium backpack 9/11/17 premonition?

God, I hate the storage ones (not typically on subway tho) that are like ''trying to raise kids in an NYC apartment is like trying to grow a tree in a thimble!'' Which maybe is supposed to be a chuckle for all us folks struggling to raise kids but it just seems like snobbery from people raised in giant suburban homes. Like, no, dickhead, growing a tree in a thimble is an absurdity, and raising kids in a New York apartment is something that happens all the time.

When I saw this one I honestly thought they were suggesting you raise your kids in a storage box rather than an apartment, because their storage is so big.

I knew what they meant but I didn't think it was very well thought out -- it sounds like an ad for moving to the suburbs rather than for storage.

I think it means "you have all this kid junk filling your apartment now so you'll need to store some things to make room" but it vaguely pisses me off when I see it

the French Aristocracy one is just incoherent

i like it.

http://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/d38724a43272082203fe50d24f01f123/tumblr_mzefawF9YW1qhg6i3o1_400.gif

oh, lucas.
you are just a man.

hahaha, good gif

the hate for those ads is thoroughly justified

why is youtube advertising in the subway

because they're FAMOUS

I hate those ads

especially the smirky duckface cupcake

But yeah it's hard to understand who it's aimed at or what the purpose is. Youtube is like a near monopoly on internet video content as it is, is it not?

Again, they're informing us that youtube stars are FAMOUS. it's a publicity campaign for "what youtube can do" to get kids to post content in the hopes that they too will become FAMOUS

God the smirky duckface cupcake is the worst. The only thing that cancels that out is the arid unrelenting blankness of Lucas, evading her gaze, shutting down the whole situation by his casual relationship to his own totalitarian presence.

http://www.cuny.edu/news/features/all-stars/members-2013/AlekseyRuditskiy.jpg

totally fascinated by this dude

vaguely reminiscent of the inner sleeve of trans am's "ta"

http://www.colombia.travel/en/components/com_fpslideshow/images/Icolombiatravel_Cartagena_03.jpg

this is kinda nerdy copy editor shit but the "amongst" and "which" in this one drive me nuts

I mean it's supposed to be inspired by great literature ffs, just reads so awkward

also what is "The Answer Is Co" supposed to mean

lol @ "lucas touched the crystal"

especially the smirky duckface cupcake

― Doritos Loco Parentis (Hurting 2), Monday, May 5, 2014 9:03 PM (Yesterday)

ugh i want to fucking burn those.

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BoGbQH-IQAM0ZFA.jpg

ffs

revolting

#powerpunchurmarketingteaminnaface

I kinda love how shitty the CG/photoshop is on the poster for the Six Flags ZUMANJARO ride. If you look at it up close it looks like a 90s rave video.

Current lamest: Febreze ads with a bunch of lame scenarios where you might want Febreze ("The guy in 3A ordered takeout!") and yet not one of them is about the fairly obvious angle of the subway itself smelling bad, as if the ad campaign started around that joke, but it got vetoed by MTA very far down the line, forcing last minute rewrites. The Paypal ads with cutesy everyday people and painfully obvious high school composition book font are also a pale shadow of Lucas's implacable, dictatorial confidence at Venmo.

you shoulda smelled the subway pre-A/C

Oh, I don't have a huge problem with the smell - it's just, if you're gonna make lame jokes about odors on a subway, make one *about the subway*. Hackwork worth doing is worth doing well.

my assumption was that the "takeout" one was originally about ethnic minorities cooking 'weird' food but was changed to be more P.C. but your scenario seems just as likely.

This is a little late, but that Expendables 3 poster is so silly. Even by the standards of these things, it is painfully obvious that nobody was ever together in the same room, the light's coming from different directions, you can see the Photoshop lasso-cut lines on Wesley Snipes's face, and I swear the number of feet just doesn't match up with the number of people. Also Arnold Schwarzenegger looks about five foot seven.

it is a funny funny poster. also it's this pile of names just jammed in all over the place.

Oh yeah, my girlfriend told me she saw one where someone had taken a Sharpie and added key numbers to match the names up with the people since they're all in random order and it's a fuckton of people/names. My kind of ad vandalism, right there.

via a friend:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152203112917261&set=a.10150459925137261.355844.734817260&type=1

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152203112917261&set=a.10150459925137261.355844.734817260&type=1

hmm

cupcake youtube woman > head-tilty heart-gesture youtube woman

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/t1.0-9/10615507_10152203112917261_5786243552934752933_n.jpg

http://imgur.com/CbSmAic

http://i.imgur.com/CbSmAic.jpg?1

Kind of wish I took a picture of the Boxed ad emblazoned with "#datfreemembershipdoe"

http://www.cuny.edu/news/features/all-stars/members-2013/AlekseyRuditskiy.jpg

totally fascinated by this dude

vaguely reminiscent of the inner sleeve of trans am's "ta"

― the portentous pepper (govern yourself accordingly), Tuesday, May 6, 2014 9:12 AM (6 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hah yes i told myself many stories about everyone in this ad

there was one girl who was so much more confident than everyone else i was kinda embarrassed for them

don't u live in new brunswick or something

i was in ny for a couple months last spring i think

and i commuted on the subway every day! something i m/l never did for the ~10 yrs i lived in ny, kinda sux tbh

btw i live p close to quebec but not nb

i have driven all the way across nb a number of times tho and let me tell u not a whole lot to see on that drive

Some of the other college ads (not so much the city college ads) make me feel kinda bad for the people in them, like where even the person they selected for the ad is probably not getting far with their Monroe College degree

yeah how they name their degrees weird non industry standard names "associate of technology specialist"

http://deadbutexcited.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/img_4037-1.jpg

http://4044walnut.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/tech-bubble.jpg

They couldn't even come up with an actual alum success story, they had to make one up

http://www.monroe.com/images/header/english/header_logo.png

Yeah, those "how a..." ones are terrible. I can't remember what it was but there was one where it was like, did they actually do anything? Or is it just that the structure of the sentence vaguely implies changes and momentum, even if you say "How a poor farmhand from Missouri earned a degree in service technology, millked some cows, and brought in the harvest."

keep weighing a thread entitled "comedy means brightly-lit people face the camera and grimace; drama means shadowed people look sideways suspiciously"

https://pmctvline2.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/shameless-season-5-poster2.jpg?w=400

http://cdn.screenrant.com/wp-content/uploads/nbc-fall-allegiance.jpg

...but i can't find a jpeg online of that ghastly one for "THE KROLL SHOW" and i can't remember the other generic-looking drama hyped at 14th street that sparks this thought once or twice a week

who the fuck at the CIA would assign someone's first case to his own family? that's messed up!

i gotta watch this show

would be cool if the villain turns out to just be a bumbling assistant manager who only skimmed the paperwork from HR and made a bad judgment call

the one w veronica mars gnawing on don cheadle's ear is very unpleasant

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--f0ki7Ejzxg/VLUs6x2kSBI/AAAAAAAAFPQ/0FOXoO5W9Ts/s1600/test_photo_house_of_lies.JPG

i'll take all of those over ads showing all the sitcom's actors looking variously smug, wacky, annoyed and welp on a white background

http://thebacklot.mtvnimages.com/uploads/2014/01/Sean-Saves-the-World.jpg

never forget

Don Cheadle looks very uncertain how he feels about that ear nibble

...but i can't find a jpeg online of that ghastly one for "THE KROLL SHOW" and i can't remember the other generic-looking drama hyped at 14th street that sparks this thought once or twice a week

― Doctor Casino, Friday, January 16, 2015 10:54 AM (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Is it the one where he's doing his "man of a thousand faces" schtick and he's all the people in the ad? I fucking hate that guy's mug.

http://1069thefox.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/8/files/2015/01/webKROLL-600-FINAL-620x400.jpg

and the other one I was thinking about for shadowy dramas was "Empire," but it's kinda too blah and airbrushed to even post here.

That's the one I meant, xp. That and the Amy Schumer ads are constant annoying reminders that not-very-good people manage to get TV shows somehow.

OTOH "Final Season" I guess there is some justice in the world

no argument on kroll but amy schumer is awesome

i heard an Amy Schumer joke on NPR last weekend about how to spot a Jewish child molester

Incidentally re: "Sean," the irony is that despite that poster's fundamental generic awfulness, its discussion here has firmly cemented that exact image in my brain as a shorthand for exactly that type of seemingly made-up sitcom. It does for sitcoms what Seinfeld's "Sack Lunch" did for throwaway film comedies.

I saw Amy Schumer at the comedy cellar once. She had a better persona than I expected but I didn't remember any of her jokes after. Haven't actually seen her show.

maybe you would have better luck remembering any of her jokes if you saw her show, just an idea though

no I mean I didn't remember any of the jokes from her standup set

she did standup, at the comedy cellar

ahhhhhhhhhh okay

lol it would be pretty funny if I literally just saw her sitting at a table and then afterward didn't understand why I hadn't absorbed her jokes by osmosis

haha, i was just reading "show" as in, like, you go see a show...kinda forgot we were talking about posters for TV shows... oops.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B8m2olZIcAEVjs8.jpg

these NY Post ads really hit their readers' grade level

I REALLY have to fight the urge to deface those, ideally by gluing on codas in the same font, etc., laying bare all the evil.

not a great picture, but these ads always make me laugh
http://i.imgur.com/gACASuC.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B9mU5FIIYAA4zIz.jpg

jeez

Yeah, what are they doing in a $10,000/mo apartment!

for real though, stark

the talkspace ad confused the hell out of me for a while i just cldnt come to grips with the fact that theres a service where u pay to txt therapists

this does not happen in other advanced countries

on the other hand, it runs all night so

am i the only one grossed out by those mattress ads with the cutesy cartoons that are all like "the perfect mattress for - - - party animals!" and it shows a bunch of like rats hanging out on your mattress? like great, that's what i want to think about, rats shitting on my mattress. and then it's like "the perfect mattress for - - - cleansers!" and it's people chugging stuff from a blender and it's like, you know cleanses are fundamentally about excretion also right? like are these the associations you want? at least those gross top-down perspective views of hypothetical apartments you could have feel like they were drawn by a human being.

those mattresses are too soft but they give you cucumber water and choc chip cookies at their "showroom," which is just a loft on bond st

also there's just one mattress in a bedroom, that's the showroom, and in the bathroom there's like shampoo and shit in the shower so someone clearly lives there, so the whole thing is creepy af

hahahahaha

i kinda wanna go now, and bring a bunch of rats

i am pretty sure you were not at a showroom but at my friend gary's apartment

oh and we were like "the mattress is too soft" and the girl told us that the mattress is awesome but it we really really really thought it was too soft but bought it anyway they would send us a firmer mattress pad at some undetermined point in the future.

is your friend gary approachably attractive but possessed of a creepy quiet cultlike low-level startup employee enthusiasm?

nah, just a really good tindr profile

http://web.mta.info/siteimages/pth-logo.png

every single time i see this i think, for a moment, that it's supposed to be a map of pennsylvania

current vitamin water ads are pulling some really weak "omg lol we're new yorkers amirite?" material in trying to, i guess, describe situations where you'd need a vitamin water. uptown date... downtown meeting?!?!

like wow you've really captured the spirit of living here, 20 things only a native new yorker will understand

Is there some specific ad agency that does subway ads with that schtick? Because I feel like there have been so many bad campaigns with that exact vibe -- Seamless, various storage companies, etc.

I hate when ads try to get all in-the-know with you like that, it feels like a stranger showing up at your party and reminiscing about old times they weren't actually there for.

replace the new yorkisms with, say, a white upper middle class suburban milieu and I think you'll find those ads to be a pretty standard form--except there's an extra layer of new yorker self-regard being called upon that's particularly creepy.

I hate all these "in the know new yorker" ads for seamless and flatrate and that other storage company. Really, really hate.

And also I agree about that roast chicken and red wine poem.

― signed, J.P. Morgan CEO (Hurting 2), Saturday, January 11, 2014 2:36 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i admit to finding those ads pretty fascinating...like how they almost always insist on the quotidian new york experience (take out, walk ups, cabs) rather than anything like the "making it in the big city" narrative. almost as if the highest aspiration that you can appeal to in an ad is the *desire to be a new yorker* rather than anything new york might be a means to.

http://media.npr.org/assets/img/2015/10/02/subway-poster_custom-780357a2b706d94d8263cdafcc35a3d0dd1cbfdd-s900-c85.jpg

FUIUD

I hate these ads so fucking much:
http://www.adweek.com/news/advertising-branding/clever-seamless-campaign-uses-witty-one-liners-tap-how-new-yorkers-eat-166975

BEING a SHITTY HUMAN burns a lot of CALORIES

the one that always befuddles me
http://www.adweek.com/files/2015_Sep/seamless-art-3.jpg

yeah, that whole seamless campaign is awful.

http://ads.manhattanministorage.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/GayCouple.jpg

i find myself wondering what the photo shoot for this was like

http://ads.manhattanministorage.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/GayCouple.jpg

'okay guys -- think GAY and FRENZIED'

http://ads.manhattanministorage.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/GayCouple.jpg

Lol the facial expressions of that couple always captivate me in a car wreck sort of way.

They also had that drag queen ad -- whoever photographs them is really good at creating images that are simultaneously a little creepy and hard to stop looking at.

Who the fuck are all these people with spacious, neatly organized walk-in storage rooms anyway?

yeah lol. the whole thing is just stuffing them with cardboard boxes, right?

i guess it could potentially be smart marketing for the u-stor-it industry... convince people they really should use this more like a spacious walk-in closet or a well-organized backyard shed, and thus upsell them on a much bigger unit.. still it seems bonkers. i mean the brownie cameras and keepsakes just sitting out there! just pack this stuff up into a few u-haul boxes and stick it at the bottom of your closet or something. if you don't like that menorah enough to display it in your house maybe it's time to let it go. not sure if the telescope or the stack of pashminas and hats seems most absurd.

dr. zizmor has retired, now spends his time studying the talmud

http://gothamist.com/2016/01/08/subway_facelift_shutdown.php
this is gonna be a FUCKED UP PROBLEM

jelly queen is really disturbing

i'm just really glad that museum of sex has finally retired the boobs bouncy castle ad.... that was ghastly.

Lol at jelly queen
I also like the std volcano

Casino otm.

http://i.imgur.com/RjmKnh5.jpg

:\

man, fuck the streeteasy "find your formula" ads:

http://creativity-online.com/work/streeteasy-find-your-formula/45564

i really dislike those but part of me is secretly glad that at least it's a hand-drawn illustration from someone with their own kinda gross-looking style. versus the equally gross but also retchingly saccharine mattress ads previously discussed.

Perhaps doesn't need to be said, but those Thinx period underwear ads that were controversial really are much more tasteful than a lot of the ads on the subway.

frenzied storage couple haunt my thoughts and dreams btw. It's bizarre.

http://static1.businessinsider.com/image/5630a2cc9dd7cc25008c540e-3264-2448/img_3114.jpg hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it hate it

sorry for huge but i want yall to feel me here

https://adsonthesubway.files.wordpress.com/2016/01/fullsizerender10.jpg?w=525&h=537

these are so half-assed and shitty-looking that it actually pisses me off

xp yeah those too

my friend on instagram re: jelly queen: "I find these ads exceptionally strange"

adam you are so great on this thread btw

garbage all over the sidewalk + 3am guns + crowded trains + exploding sewer lines = your neighborhood
great schools + 5 nearby dog parks + doorperson that knows your name + sunshine and flowers = some place you can't afford

thanks streeteasy!

thank u doctor

There's so much competition in the "we'll take care of minor inconvenience for you via an app" space.

I saw like two other dry-cleaning/laundry apps advertised just this week.

Wype: toilet paper delivered to your bathroom in seconds.

https://twitter.com/smashedmcdouble/status/694179644560523264

man, fuck the streeteasy "find your formula" ads:

http://creativity-online.com/work/streeteasy-find-your-formula/45564

― Karl Malone, Tuesday, March 15, 2016 10:43 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

someone has written "bomb all condos" on one of those at the lafayette c

have we talked about this one

http://nypost.com/2015/12/30/syphilis-explosion-ads-catch-subway-passengers-eyes/

gimme those muslim frittata recipes tbqfh

https://i.imgur.com/rvrmpzb.png

Couldn't snap a pic without the dude sitting in front of it thinking I was photographing him, but there's this new NPR ad that says something like "The NSA is listening, why not give them something more interesting to listen to?"

And I had the sensation that I'm pretty sure is the same feeling people get when they suspect the person trying to ingratiate himself is actually a narc.

That Manhattan Institute personal training guy is terrifying. Can't find a pic.

is that the one with the lady posing with a skeleton on the other half of the ad?

like you can be a personal trainer or a skeleton lady

yes!

seeing this guy's expression ruins all my mornings

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/7q3f6bbuhDq_0JPmN55G8u1aKYMW5iA5m9T5MYun7SSoYInFN8n3AL_u6fqJ3ma_rZdx=w300

this one is my current fave

https://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/std_explosion_005.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=664&h=441&crop=1

lol

spotify has arrived

Couldn't find a pic of the actual subway version of the ad but I did this

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cs0iJRsXgAAcfcV.jpg:large

http://i.imgur.com/N5tLRAO.jpg

Sometimes I feel like network ad execs give up before the show even comes out.
"That drama about the trial consultant based on young dr. phil that we're calling BULL? let's get a close-up of a stubbly round white guy from his sears headshots and tag it 'He'll Get You Off'. Research shows people love that."

hahaha I think abt this thread every time I pass that one

Sort of along those lines (lazy TV ads), I keep wanting to get a shot of the Danson/Bell show called "The Good Place" with the tagline "Where everything is good" and then a sort of second tagline "What the Fork?"

so zany

i watched the show last night, the conceit is that you can't curse in heaven so everyone says "what the fork" and "bullshirt" and "ash hole"

that sounds...like something that would definitely be really funny for at least an entire season of a show...

http://i.imgur.com/eRjgct0.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/WjhdU00.jpg

hi, we're looking for a drawing of a crow standing on top of a decaying gravestone with a bite mark on the corner. the gravestone should read "R.I.P. / I THOUGHT IT WAS A FRECKLE." oh yeah, and please draw a zombie hand coming out of the ground just in front of the grave. thx

http://www.villagevoice.com/news/subway-ad-celebrity-gregg-t-is-an-nypd-lawyer-who-bullies-civil-rights-protesters-into-submission-9351423

Gideon Oliver is my hero.

He adds, "The 'If you see something, say something' campaign uncritically promotes snitch culture as a dogwhistle for Islamophobes, racists, and other bigots to inflict the government in the service of their prejudices and agendas on people I love and care about, including people I have represented in prosecutions. Since the campaign’s inception, the NYPD in particular has targeted Muslim, South Asians, Arab Americans, and others, for surveillance, prosecutions, and other harms. With all due respect to them, NYPD Legal Bureau lawyers should not be held up as heroes. In their place, I respectfully nominate the Black Lives Matter and other protesters who keep taking the streets – especially now."

http://images1.villagevoice.com/imager/u/745xauto/9351432/111616greggt.jpg

https://coolpapaesreviews.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/paintings2.jpg

lol such a skeeve

there are these sharper image ads that are so incredibly poor. they're just like clip-art of monkeys with bad monkey "puns".

like there's a monkey on a gift-wrapped box and it says "hey hey we're the monkeys" on the poster and then "sharper image".

its the laziest thing i've ever seen.

these?

https://twitter.com/SharperImage/status/809202932700811264

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C0EtqGEUsAA8cF8.jpg

lol fuck yes

well played

http://i.imgur.com/g4TP4fD.jpg http://i.imgur.com/qxi3P5o.jpg http://i.imgur.com/323RaG5.jpg

why

Yeah really, we are living out the endgame of "juxtaposition wackiness"

those are the worst and are making me definitely never want to try mail chimp.

MailShrimp pisses me off most of all

god knows none of the others are funny either but at least they bothered to rhyme both syllables

srsly fuck these ppl -- even gregg might be better

somewhere out there, Dale Rimp boards the train, looks up and something catches his eye

probably a shrimp

https://i.imgur.com/mmBjuUs.jpg

nothing is worse than the new round of StreetEasy ads playing up their sickening one-percenter market more directly than ever, like, oh man I totally know what you mean, if I see a $3,000-a-month one-bedroom I just have to snap that up on general principle! FUuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUU

MailShrimp pisses me off most of all

Never knew what these guys were selling, but it reminded me why it's a good thing I did not own an Uzi while working as an advertising peon.

At BAM, they show a MailShrimp ad/video before every... fucking... film.

http://imgur.com/DSzwpA6

fucking gregg

http://blog.fiverr.com/wp-content/uploads/Visitors_Static_A_300x250-1.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/xTISZnS.jpg

... IF THIS GUY WASN'T STARING AT YOU LIKE THAT

http://imgur.com/DSzwpA6

― long dark poptart of the rodeo (Doctor Casino), Friday, April 14, 2017 6:43 PM (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

slightly jealous of couples who can take an inside joke so far it becomes a beloved present.

https://medium.com/@freddiedeboer/the-three-hot-trends-in-silicon-valley-horseshit-95cc5a85e8a4

The basic idea here is that 40 years of stagnant wages, the decline of unions, the death of middle class blue collar jobs, the demise of pensions, and a general slide of the American working world into a PTSD-inducing horror show of limitless vulnerability has been too easy on workers. I’m sorry, Doers, or whatever the fuck. The true beauty of these ads is that they are all predicated on mythologizing the very workers who their service is intended to immisserate. Sorry about your medical debt; here’s a photo of a model who we paid in “exposure” over ad copy written by an intern who we paid in college credit that cost $3,000 a credit hour. Enjoy.

have only seen one of 'em, but: the poster for new book THE WAR ON COPS is absolutely infuriating.

the tunnel of mouths in the west 4th st station is some serious cronenberg body horror shit, fuck's sake postmates

have only seen one of 'em, but: the poster for new book THE WAR ON COPS is absolutely infuriating.

otfm

govern otm
https://qz.com/980503/postmates-provocative-new-york-subway-ads-are-a-desperate-plea-for-attention-as-a-food-delivery-startup/

there's one of a woman eating a macaron on the turnstile that's so poorly cropped i thought she was eating a can of chewing tobacco

https://cdn.flickeringmyth.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Young-Sheldon-1.jpg

young sheldon is really taking me back to the glory days of SEAN

will he be beaten up every 3rd ep?

yessssss

http://i.imgur.com/tuw92cM.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/5CX47nt.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/GWEQwPq.jpg

man seems like the mom in that show sure had to put up with a lot from SEAN

i'm assuming young sheldon is like a richie rich character, or more like a doogie howser but he's a business prodigy instead of a doctor. see he gets money and figures but has a lot to learn about life. really he would have made a great addition to SEAN's wacky little family unit.

On my commute this morning, two little kids were talking about baseball. Kid 1 says his favorite player was Babe Ruth, Kid 2 says he's dead, and Kid 1 said he died by electrocution. I don't know where the hell he got that from.

So that was a cute moment on an otherwise bleak summer of commuting.

Woah, that seems kinda weird now that I've written it out. I'm coming from a strange place here, people.

Would you use time travel to kill Young Sheldon?

— BANDZ STACKHAGE (@NickPinkerton) September 24, 2017

i have been informed w/out words that Elliott Gould and Linda Lavin are in a new sitcom

at some point i became aware that 'young sheldon' was a stupid spinoff of stupid big bang theory and started hating those ads even more.

why are so many subway ads/billboards about EJACULATE now?

casper mattresses and the seediness of internet commerce

https://www.fastcompany.com/3065928/sleepopolis-casper-bloggers-lawsuits-underside-of-the-mattress-wars

spotted along the G train pic.twitter.com/sMo0luf2j1

— lαrissα phαm (@lrsphm) November 4, 2017

ha!

lol, that's the snowman ad moved over. i like it when people do the juxtaposition box cutter trick

can't remember whether it's seamless or grubhub or bleepblorp but whoever has the "quirky" "hilarious" "that's so me" versions of special instructions added to orders... GAH. it's impossible not to picture the poor working stiffs at the restaurant getting these obnoxious AF requests showing up on the line and having to weigh the chance that the person actually expects this nonsense and will give them a shitty yelp review otherwise.

the one where the delivery guy is instructed to hassle the people on the next floor down for stealing their wifi = omg fuck off

nothing is as bad as fiverr

yeah fiverr kind of uniquely encapsulates an entire hateful awful mindset, in all its vast opinion of itself

meanwhile, the goony group photo of Big Bang Theory has returned to bother us all

hm... testing something, don't mind me

fiverr has not only the most nauseating message but manages to find uniquely punchable faces to match

http://mikekosk.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/fiverr_poster.jpg

THIS. FUCKING. GUY.

I'd live to trap the Fiverr models (and board) with Edward Woodward at the end of The Wicker Man

guys i learned about the NY state family leave thing from subway ads and now i get like a whole extra month of paternity leave. the rare case of subway ads gone right.

the other of course being the school of practical philosophy, which changed my life.

I bought a Casper mattress

well I saw something and said something so

i ate a snickers

i used the NYC transit promo code when i bought the mattress

i got my breasts enlarged

I also bought a Casper mattress, but haven't taken it out of the box yet. Maybe Friday.

I bought some thinx to clean up egg spills, but they didn't really seem as ideally designed for that as advertised

fuck, if Morbs bought a Casper then they truly have won.

the okcupid "DTF" ones are individually quite stupid and faux-with-it (ah yes, the cool leftie kids are totally down to flirtily thumb-wrestle trump voters!) but i was on a car that had an uninterrupted frieze of them running the full length, and it's kind of great because each individual ad is split into two panels (wacky photo, caption) and since there's no additional border at the edge of an ad, it's very easy to read an image as being paired with the next caption over. hijinks ensue.

e.g. these, though i bet the side-by-side thing won't happen once i hit post:

https://i2.wp.com/www.ifitshipitshere.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/E_okc_dtf_hero7.jpg?resize=800%2C518https://i0.wp.com/www.ifitshipitshere.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/D_okc_dtf_hero10.jpg?resize=800%2C518

i giggle each time i see the ones for the show BILLIONS, but only because the first one i saw was the one with the blonde woman holding some grapes, and someone had defaced it with a speech balloon reading

I used some of my billions to buy these grapes!

BILLIONS!

Twee Seamless delivery instructions are more than just unfunny. They represent the petty demands of a privileged class that sits atop our neo-feudal order.https://t.co/PTrflFsuPj

— The Baffler (@thebafflermag) August 16, 2018

Mainly they're unfunny though

yes to both points. fuck them.

the lyft adds hyping up long-established NYC destinations have been my main source of fury lately, though. you know what's a great way to get to the Cloisters or Rockaway Beach? THE FUCKING PUBLIC TRANSIT NETWORK YOU'RE STANDING IN, LOOKING AT THIS AD. kind of amazing they approve ads that are that nakedly like "fuck the subway." granted, cuomo's MTA is sliding towards disaster but i'm pretty sure a 90-minute cab ride is not going to compete with a $2.75 or less subway fare.

https://i.imgur.com/aBIuqEQ.jpg

I like the detailed cartoon ads, they work well for avoiding looking at other people

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DlTpNtaVAAEACUb.jpg:small

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DluDGahUcAAQsBA.jpg

Lucas bides his time. Lucas lets John believe he has won.

https://i.imgur.com/eOSL1YY.jpg

GrubHub is back on the "what up, fellow New Yorkers?" kick, with slogans like "When you're craving cake so badly, you'd crash a Central Park wedding to get it."

Also, I hate how every dumb campaign like this now has twenty variations of the same concept/joke plastered all over the same car. I know that's been a thing since at least the days of creepy Venmo Lucas, but it's just so dispiriting. Today's Zizmors stand no chance.