Ask TOMBOT

total idiot badge

"hey look at me I spent a minimum of $500+ to take a multiple choice vocabulary test"

many colleagues agree with me on this just in case you think I'm being bitter or something

the clash vs. carl craig

What kind of "professional development" should I do on the job's tab?

4. bottled booze of choice for home consumption?

Hillary, Edwards or Obama?

Please name some certifications in your field that you approve of

tombot what do i do with my life
i wanna make the big bucks

:(

oooh, good question. How should I sell out? I want to work 40-45 hours a week and not really care about my job when I'm not there. Low stress levels preferred.

the clash vs. carl craig

Even if an internet jukebox had it, I would probably not go and make everybody else listen to The Secret Tapes of Dr. Eich in a bar, despite totally loving that whole album. Also I have never picked up any girls by dancing with them to Carl Craig. So The Clash. Also, Lock The Taskbar.

tombot what do i do with my life
i wanna make the big bucks

You are probably more aware of your options than I am so I'm just going to tell you that you're probably being risk averse or avoiding a difficult decision. My best decisions, in hindsight, have all been made during times of high stress and tension in my life, because those are the times when you realize making a strong commitment is the only way to save you from yourself. No reward without risk.

What kind of "professional development" should I do on the job's tab?

Quit worrying about which program and just matriculate in one. You think I woke up one day and decided to be a cleared government analyst? Fuck no. Somebody hands you a ball, you run with it, son.

Hillary, Edwards or Obama?

Today, Obama. My main thing I love about this dude is what some writer said about him doing for ties what Kennedy did for hats, e.g. make it completely acceptable to never wear one.

Please name some certifications in your field that you approve of

Certs like CISSP are crap because they don't actually make you qualified to do anything but talk about the CISSP body of knowledge. The only certs in my "field" that make sense as a job requirement are the ones dealing specifically with vendor tech monkey work like DBA, MCSE, CCNA, etc. Like having a license to operate a car or plane or a gun.

4. bottled booze of choice for home consumption?

Please be more specific. Most often lately it's whatever looks interesting out of the corner store beer cooler since they're always carrying some weird stuff from all over the world. OB from Korea is actually pretty good, comes in heavy brown 330ml bottles, and Saku from Estonia in the .5L.

How should I sell out?

Start by asking for more money at your current job.

do you like Shōchū?

or for Soju for that matter.

I'm not matriculating in a program; I can just take some classes for free.

Not as much as Soju. There's a joint about three blocks from my house that has excellent dweiji bulgogi and sojutinis that they mix with real korean fruit beverages incl. aloe and those little yogurt drink shots. If I was the kind of guy who got off work at reasonable hours I would be at their happy hour at least once a week chowing down on discount dumplings.

ha @ gr80

JW if you can take some classes for free I recommend anything that interests you that is outside the realm of computers and requires you to write and present cohesive arguments

those would be actual real job skills that you don't have to re-learn every five years

I am taking this thread too seriously!!

have you ever seen any really awesome secret things in your work. please rate the awesomeness on a scale of 1-10. also please do the same w/disturbing. thx

I'm actually an ok technical writer.

I just don't argue with shutins.

Anyway, it has to be approved by the bossman. Maybe some kind of BUSINESS/PEOPLE SKILLS class might pass muster?

take some business classes about project management and engineering econ!

learn you some IRR

have you ever seen any really awesome secret things in your work. please rate the awesomeness on a scale of 1-10. also please do the same w/disturbing. thx

I have seen some stuff that was really awesome. I would say an 8.
The stuff I find most disturbing in my work is not really a secret and mostly has to do with criminal cases, corruption and/or widespread waste of tax $$$. I would say probably a 6 at the highest though since I've heard much more terrifying shit from real private sector folks especially at the big auditing and consultancy businesses.

OB from Korea is actually pretty good

yes!

csi vs law and order?

CI vs. SVU vs OG

what human character trait do you most despise?

I'll break it down.

CSI (og) vs L&O (og): CSI, easy. Original L&O not nearly nerdy enough and I have developed strong antipathy for Sam Waterston over the years. I also have a crush on at least half the cast of CSI including the black dude.

Miami vs SVU : if we take the spinoffs in chronological order this is the next logical matchup but to me it's simply no contest. Sorry SVU, you're moving down a weight class.

NY vs SVU : Gary Sinise is clearly phoning it in here. OTOH, so is Ice-T. The belt goes to Hargitay over Kararnakiesideezits even though I will never be able to get over Meloni as the chef of Camp Firewood (teacher of the New Way, fondler of sweaters and owner of dick cream).

Miami vs CI : This is a tough one. I liked Cochrane a lot but his character got killed. I thought Noth was boring until he started teaming up with Alicia Witt (smash). Boti Bliss (smash) doesn't show up enough on Miami. D'Onofrio's schtick took some getting used to but hasn't gotten old like Caruso's has. If Khandi Alexander wasn't on Miami, this wouldn't even be a real question, actually.

So in the end it looks like L&O 2-1 over CSI. Really that should be more of a draw, though, since I'll often watch something else over either svu or ny, making it 1-1.

what human character trait do you most despise?

The herd instinct.

what cat character trait do you most despise?

Their thorough disregard for the tidiness of anything but their own hair.

lol, so true

who will win, usa or china?

best games for ps2?

who will win, usa or china?

Mars will be ours.

what brand of battery do you use? or are you rechargeable

tombot what is your favorite:

song
album
movie
actor
sandwich
kind of sock
continent
animal
planet

you know who i hate on csi is that hipster creep who is always partnered up with emily procter.

is he the new detective? that guy has made the show unwatchable.

tombro, not a funny or particularly inspired question, but i might pick up a wii soon. what are your five must have games?

Which is better?

New York - LA
Edirol - Presonus
VA - MD
Pro Tools - Logic
Nocturbulous Behaviour - Journey to the Martian Polar Cap
Alice - Maude

Which is greater threat?

Water - Oil

wow seriously I have some questions of my own now I think

1. wtf yall think I am the guy to ask these questions of, I just ban ppl
and make the angry at cunts
2. who is laxalt

best games for ps2?

Dragon Quest VIII
Rogue Galaxy
probably FF XII
I'm also enjoying Front Mission 4 at the moment
the Katamari games were also a lot of fun as I recall but you can kind of beat both of them in like three days

what brand of battery do you use? or are you rechargeable

I'm a copper topper. I used to go for el cheapo stuff until I woke up one day and like 6 crucial input devices in my house all used Bluetooth

what is your favorite:

song

oh man I have no idea

album

seriously no idea at all

movie

can't do it

actor

tie between jimmy stewart and owen wilson

sandwich

free

kind of sock

I have a ton of timberland crew socks in various colors that I picked up at OMG in manhattan like three years ago and I wear those pretty much every day. For weekend laziness I also have some of those nobbly ones with the tread pads on the bottom, I think possibly from ll bean or something. They don't make the timberland socks anymore so I'm going to have to find something else when these start wearing out.

continent

I like Europe. My favorite place in Europe is probably the Frankfurt Airport, though.

animal

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1069/1332573471_10ab231160_m.jpg

planet

Earth, I haven't been able to visit any other ones, also I heard you can't smoke anywhere else

I'll bite

Which is better?

New York - LA NY by miles duh
Edirol - Presonus don't use either
VA - MD virginia still lets you smoke in bars
Pro Tools - Logic don't use either
Nocturbulous Behaviour - Journey to the Martian Polar Cap C) Jeff Mills Live In Tokyo
Alice - Maude Maude is a much more interesting snapshot of America in its respective time frame and kind of amazing to think that it was ever a popular television show.

Which is greater threat?

Water - Oil Oil can't give you dysentery.

http://www.g4tv.com/pile_player.aspx?video_key=19059

^ will this be good

TOMBOT otm re Maude -except for the great Vic Tayback, Alice was pretty much unwatchable.

^ will this be good

looks like they hired two separate developers, one to make the ps360+pc versions and another to make the ds/wii/ps2 versions. in neither case does the dev company have a track record of note. bargain bin.

is he the new detective?

yeah, speedle's replacement, played by jonathan togo. I don't mind him much but he's definitely no speedle (just ask eric delko lol)

tombro, not a funny or particularly inspired question, but i might pick up a wii soon. what are your five must have games?

Excite Truck
Twilight Princess
Sports
Pending
Pending

(metroid was eh. I'm just not an fps guy)

you know who i hate on csi is that hipster creep who is always partnered up with emily procter.

Can't stand the no-neck Henry Rollins preppy. Reminds me of an old boss I had.

(Lego SW complete saga hasn't shown up in the mail yet)
(Want: Fire Emblem, Power Pro Baseball, SMG obv)
(I am downgrading mario + sonic olympics to "only if I can find it for >=$20" based on mario party 8 sucking)

i'm gonna rent excite truck now. thanks!

is metroid for wii all first-person shootery like the one for gamecube? that was dnw for me (OG metroid is my favorite)

is metroid for wii all first-person shootery like the one for gamecube?

yes exactly + the wiimote does not help as much as I thought it would

1. wtf yall think I am the guy to ask these questions of

its due to the appearance of the ask tombot thread

2. who is laxalt

dont know

q: could you plz crown the new ilc mods thx i love cricket new mod request thread

is MIS compeltely worthless if your greatest programming feat was to make the logo turtle spell out bad words?

is MIS compeltely worthless if your greatest programming feat was to make the logo turtle spell out bad words?

-- bnw, Friday, November 16, 2007 3:13 PM (18 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

my favorite was changing video modes to make people think the monitor was taking a photo

are you referring to a Master's in Information Science degree?
I would say completely worthless, period, but YMMV out west.
Them shits is a dime a dozen around here.

management information systems in this case, it'd be an emphasis area for an mba. Like the business end of IT.

I dunno. I'd probably pick anything but that. They tend to be really non-technical to the point of uselessness (cf CISSP above)

Tombot do you remember that Halloween episode of Punky Brewster where Punky goes into the spooky cave and encounters an enormous spider?

That was a Halloween episode?

If it wasn't, it was certainly as spooky as one!!!

No.

I remember the episode of Captain Caveman where they out a soviet spy by triggering his military reflex to come to attention when somebody says "attention" in russian. So dumb.

hey tom thanks for taking our questions first time poster long time reader here

is there any 8-bit animation tool for mac? like if i wanna make nes looking little movies. i mean i could do it in flash but i dont really wanna. later tho ill probably want to convert it to flash.

thx

well no there's no 8-bit applications for macintosh, I believe even the Lisa ran on motorola's 68000 which is 32 bit. but for two-dimensional animation of any sort I believe toonboom.com is your go-to. hope that helps.

dear tom,
1. rank the hershey's traditional assorted bag: mr goodbar; hershey bar; special dark; and krackel.
2. where's the best beach youve ever been to in the world?
3. should i move to SF in october 08?
4. do you believe in god?
5. im not even gonna pretend i understand computers
6. whats your all-time favorite ILX thread?
7. you like obama right?

ill think of 13 more tomorrow?

yr 4-eva bro,
pete

Dear TB,

Big Endian or Little Endian?

Sincerely,
JR & Teh Bs

1. rank the hershey's traditional assorted bag: mr goodbar; hershey bar; special dark; and krackel.

1. special dark (manly)
2. krackel
3. hershey bar
4. mr. goodbar (don't like peanuts).

2. where's the best beach youve ever been to in the world?

This is just like the movie/song/album questions. Probably Amelia Island, GA. Never been to any beaches in California! I have been to Normandy, though, and you can still see the shapes of craters in the ground.

3. should i move to SF in october 08?

Didn't you already decide to do that a while ago? Or is this more of a permanent thing than just one year or whatever? If you did I would be pretty jealous. Which means you should do it.

4. do you believe in god?

Sometimes I kind of wish I did.

5. im not even gonna pretend i understand computers

That's okay! The world would probably be better if less people did.

6. whats your all-time favorite ILX thread?

I think the one where slocki put peanut m&ms in the toaster oven. I laughed and laughed.

7. you like obama right?

see upthread! this has been addressed!

Do you prefer it when other people recommend books for you, or you recommend books for others?

Also, if you were in a film, who would play you?

Big Endian or Little Endian?

Whatever gets the job done. Asking for directions to my gate in German? Little Endian. Practically everything else? Big Endian. I am built with switchable hardware.

Do you prefer it when other people recommend books for you, or you recommend books for others?

I'm not sure I understand this one. I recommend books to others quite a bit. I don't have much luck with books that other people recommend to me, to be honest, it seems to work better if I just show up to your house, find some random tome lying around, and ask to borrow it.

Also, if you were in a film, who would play you?

Luke Wilson

I think the one where slocki put peanut m&ms in the toaster oven. I laughed and laughed.

man picturing you laughing and laughing over this is like how awesome that one scene in freaks and geeks is where bill is laughing so much at garry shandling or steve martin on TV

Hey Tombot,

Since people like to ask you questions re: professional development, I'll throw in.

(A) I kinda hate my internet retail job right now, but I am pretty competent member of the 3-person retail team, and our sales have been increasing pretty substantially this year. I figure I might stick around for a while so I can show like a 100% increase in sales during my time here, but will prospective employers actually give a shit? I've been here 3+ years already.

(B) Despite my lack of ability to sew and of any design experience, I have a secret desire to be some sort of product developer / apparel designer / rockstar haberdasher. There's a good apparel & textile design program at local college -- should I follow my dream?

Thanks for your consideration,
elmo

A) all I know about sales is that motherfuckers expect you to perform and by that they want to know how much you made in commissions. Around here I see ads where they don't even seem to give a shit what you were selling at your last job, just that you put down well into the six figures for a couple years running. So yeah, if that's your business, I would assume they'll give a shit. "internet retail" unfortunately is not something I'm familiar with except as a vehicle for me to get stuff done while avoiding interaction with other human beings and also crime

B) can you take night classes? hell yes, fool. At the very least you will learn how to make your own hats which could probably get you laid.

TOM, WHERE DID I PUT MY DRUGS????

Hey Tom,

Should I teach English or go the internets route Assistant Editing some twelfth-tier marketing blog?

chicago: wherever you forgot to leave them from the time before. Sticking to booze and tobacco has the advantage of never having to really ask yourself this question. at least not in a challenging style.

BIG: Teach. Duh.

A: IN YR BODY

i think someone stole them.

Portland, OR or Portland, ME?

I prefer beer to lobster TBH

portland ME has some good beers too.

THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS!

Sorry, a little context might be in order.

Check out the bear cam at the bottom. Haw.

I prefer beer to lobster

whao thats a tough one. i mean if i had to give one up 4 eva obv fuck loabstah. but if someone walked up to me w/a lobster in one hand and a beer in the other id take the lobster every time. unless maybe it kept happening. then eventually id switch to beer.

i kind of want to move to portland, me
the only problem is that i would have to hang out with my mom all the time and would be so lonely.

i guess i should rephrase that as a question.

tombot should i move to portland, me?

In Portland, ME, pedestrians rule the earth.

I rode the mail boat for three hours and never got bored with it.

the mailboat that goes to peake's island? i went to a reggae concert on peake's this summer. it was what you would expect from a maine reggae festival.

MAINE LOVES 2 REGGAE like MASSACHUSETTS LOVES 2 SKA

Probably that same mailboat. We hit a lot of islands.

well, ms labs, do you think YOU could get bored of riding the mail boat?

sometimes I think of moving to the mountains and living in a big cabin type joint, but then I remember that I am a slob and it would become terrible. I am not ready for the country mouse stage of my life yet, not by a long shot. But maybe you are! Try it for two weeks and see how hateful and miserable you become.

i'm not gonna do it any time soooon. portland is blood diamonds tho

that damn ice storm a decade ago turned me off portland forever.

does the topless donut place still exist?

i believe so!

info?

i have heard tales of these fabled titty donuts.

guys does anybody have a question for me or are you just going to keep updating this thread to chat about maine

ME in general is blood diamonds

i think mark's topless donut shop is still open...it was the daytime version of mark's showplace, which changed it's name to platinum plus a couple years ago...i don't know if the donut shop name changed too or what. i have other priorities when i go home, like DUCKFAT FRIES.

SORRY TOMBOT :X

i got sonned by a drainage ditch in a gravity beef on the side of rte 95 in south portland once. bounced from mark's showplace during a bachelor party.

STFU YANKEES

tombot, i got a question. what kind of external hard drive should i get for my music/writing files? i have the laptop and the old emac so should i get one of those wireless hard drive thingies? i don't backup shit at all which i know is very dumb

TOM:

Should I get a handgun? There have been several robberies on my block in the last few months.

secondary question: if not a handgun, perhaps a shotgun? If yes, should I get a bedside shotgun rack? (http://www.the-backup.com/)

IJ

I don't backup shit either. I finally hired a housekeeper though so maybe backing up computer stuff is right around the corner! But you should avoid the Iomega Storcenter, from what I've just read about it on the internet, and also because Iomega just generally sucks. I've heard of quite a few people using Mac Minis as wireless storage solutions, I could ask my pal Josh for more info about that.

Ian: having a loaded weapon in your home just vastly increases the chances that you will die from a gunshot wound, it does not decrease the chances of being robbed to any degree. A much, much better investment would be to see about getting ADT or Brinks for your apartment or apartment building, often they will set you up for free if you agree to let them advertise on your front stoop or wherever, which of course is 95% of the deterrent anyway.

or get a big doggy

If you are worried about getting mugged, then maybe take some krav maga classes and start carrying a nightstick.

OR GET DOGGY

I remember seeing once a dude on rollerblades just hauling around an aluminum ball bat with him. No glove, no other sign of possibly going to participate in softball or baseball anywhere, just carrying the bat over one shoulder.

Tom:

What do you do when you just want to kick back and relax?

sometimes i atak rollerbladers

roxy, I am still trying to figure that one out since I've realized I am too old and have too many responsibilities to be drinking until 2am for half the nights out of the week.

I think for Xmas I am going to ask for a bunch of magazine subscriptions so I always have something to read around the house that doesn't take as much time as books, and I think I'm going to upgrade my netflix, because I would probably be better served by watching movies and reading news than by zoning out with playstation or comforting detective TV all the time. Even when I'm relaxing I feel better if my relaxation involves learning about new things.

tombot who would win in a fight between bruce willis with numchcuks vs. a stormtrooper on rollerblades with an aluminum baseball bat

Tombot, does your housekeeper clean out the litter box?

Even if there's pee on the floor?

you are leaving out a lot of variables I consider important. If I assume the stormtrooper is approaching at speed on his skates and prepared to just clothesline the shit out of mr. willis Mailbox Baseball style then def. the stormtrooper - OTOH with proper timing, Bruce could just as easily duck into a somersault and clip his would-be assailant's ankles with the 'chucks leading to a spectacular make-out session with the pavement

Mr. Plains: I have not gotten around to investigating the litterbox situation since the housekeeping operation took place. I am still dumbfounded by other amazing maid feats too numerous to list here.

And anyway Dr. Ben never pees on the floor (knock on wood)

tangential: my cat crapped in the car on the way back from RI to NY. he had one of my sweaters in there.. RIP green itchy sweater.

Kurt Cobain was still alive when this cat was born.

Stop this nonsense/stop tellin' lies
Kurt Cobain is Still Alive!!

tom is it a coincidence that the id for this thread is 6660

Have you considered this litter box?
http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/41HCzmopvCL._AA280_.jpg

If that was my cat, his ass would be sticking out of the hole while his face was in the litter.

Mr. Redd et le Blecchs: No, I have not. Upon brief consideration of that litter box, however, I would rather the cat's toilet not become a conversation piece, which would invariably occur were I to spend whatever ridiculous sum that thing probably costs.

on the plus side, your cat would be able to pretend it was a spaceman everytime it pooped

i sort of want a toilet that looks like that

max: it would seem that it is a coincidence, since the last time I was credulous enough to put any stock in numerological or other mystic hoo-ha was probably around 1987 at the very latest.

Could someone Photoshop a little space helmet on that cat?

also, max, you should know that real spaceman poopers look like this:
http://www.hightechscience.org/ISS_Toilet_2.jpg

boooooring

tombot have you ever tried teaching a cat to use the toilet?

(a friend of mine tried this with his two cats--he said the smarter one was getting it but the stupider one was dragging her down, so he gave it up)

charles mingus wrote a book abt this

O GREAT NOW THIS IS THE SPACEMAN POOPERS THREAD

http://www.mingusmingusmingus.com/Mingus/cat_toilet.jpg

mr. proof: Yes, I have, many times. However I've been told it requires near-constant attention and much tenacity, which my work and school schedules since becoming a man who keeps cats prevent me from applying to the task.

i understand one of your cats is a doctor, though, so it shouldn't be too difficult

You really gotta have more than one toilet in the house for the cat training to work. Unless you don't mind shitting on newspapers ala Brian Wilson.

could always use a litter box

i understand one of your cats is a doctor, though, so it shouldn't be too difficult

Actual LOL-ing^^^^^

For clarification, his doctorate is in Bein' A Fuckin Clown All The Time

-ology

mine studied "pillow"

feh, oberlin grads

meowsicology

probably explains why he was found wandering homeless in a bad neighborhood, at least

"field research"

I was making a joke about the social sciences

i was trying to make jokes too!

tombot,

what does the robot say @ 2 minutes
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xg078_robot-sentinella_tech
◎ "please put down your weapon. you have 20 seconds to comply."
◎ other: _________________________

Dear herr Tombot,

If I took a job that is kind of shitty work (database management + data entry) and not related to my interests/training at all vs. my current job that has some relation to my interests but is in an unbearable work environment (writing and research) would I be happier???

my hours are long here and they would be shorter. I would also, presumably, not be cheated out of my vacation time any more.

well deej if you're asking the question it seems clear that the current job's relationship with your area(s) of interest is not enough to make you feel like showing up, so I would say go for the other opportunity. Being cheated out of your paid time off is a really awful shit thing to have happen to you so you definitely should be shopping the resume already.

I'll tell you one thing I've never even considered that I could really go out there and get a job that had "some relation to my interests" and have that be like some cool kind of thing. I hate to be mr. who-moved-my-cheese about it but seriously what you LIKE to do and what you SHOULD be doing are rarely the same thing

not in a "you can't write at all you should def consider just being a db mgr" sense but in a "for your own sake forget whatever career counselors have ever told you about doing what you love" sense

Have you read The Jasons by Ann Finkbeiner? I think you would maybe enjoy.

there are no good pictures of william atherton from real genius.

on the internet, I should specify.

http://i8.tinypic.com/6wpnv5f.jpg?

southeast jerome y/n?

dude, the redskins are terrible.

also heave ho I said good pictures. like a decent-size still frame of william atherton as dr. jerry hathaway with minimal dithering and compression artifacts.

should joe gibbs be removed from the hall of fame

xp "dithering"

to explain my response to mookieproof a little better, it's hard to enjoy Mr. Portis' character interviews when he's always getting hurt and his team is always losing games that they shouldn't be losing because their coaching staff is some kind of nursing home nightmare.

joe gibbs should not be removed from the hall of fame.

it's still kind of weird to be removed from 24/7 skins. less weird to be removed from wilbon's annual hockey column.

that said, for sheer assholish trainwreckness, not even the Danny can compete with the knicks.

you should beat the shit out of tony kornheiser, btw

we all should

Kornheiser is a guy who just kind of seems like he hates sports but knows he couldn't pull an Olbermann.

Dear Tombot, why are you always so :-( ?

hey tombot, shall we dance to yelle's a cause des garcons?????

It is a cute song.

http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa116/pmx666/NOBONESSS.jpg

Dear Tombot, why are you always so :-( ?

Well, lately, it would be because 2007 is shaping up to be quantitatively and qualitatively the worst year of my life on record. The wife and I split up, one of my best friends and his wife split up, and all my favorite bars are shutting up shop, not to mention it looks like it's going to be the fucking Patriots & Cowboys in the Super Bowl. PUKE. Also I haven't been sleeping well but that just seems petty in the face of everything else.

hey tombot, shall we dance to yelle's a cause des garcons?????

absolutely! it would be my pleasure.

:( Thinking of u bro

so she got the kids and you got ILX?

(sorry)

seriously though, hearing about that makes me really sad + scares me to death. hope you feel better soon. the holidays are the worst when you're feeling down.

so she got the kids and you got ILX?

We split the kids, I got the class clown who can't read and she got the moody goth.

there's a lazy ILE zing in ther somewhere

Tombot, did you read Charlie Wilson's War? When I sat thru the Sorkinized Tom Hanks adap last night, I imagined you screaming at the screen.

xpost, so many.

I did not read Charlie Wilson's War, no. I can't actually remember what movie I last saw that pissed me off enough that I was cursing out loud in the theater. It may have been a while. But with regards to the book, I have been actively avoiding paying money to read stuff about the intelligence community's activities since about 2002, for probably the same reasons I was unable to get any enjoyment out of Joseph Heller or Kurt Vonnegut while I was on active duty.

e.g. it would just add to my daily frustration, and fuck that.

well, I read it from the liberry. My fave part is that the CIA point man for Afghanistan was using black magic to curse his ex-boss. (He's Phil Seymour Hoffman in the film, the only good performance)

i wonder how mr "greatest generation"'s political views factor into the movie

I am also typically resentful of stories told with an air of smug hindsight, which I presume this has in spades

well, the book and film both end with rueful acknowledgments of, um, what the Afghans did with all that techno-weaponry we left behind -- more by dancing around it in the film -- but it's 100% at odds with what the film otherwise celebrates.

is Ned Beatty not even any good?

He's in two rather undemanding scenes.

(the film covers ten years in 97 minutes, about half of them devoted to Wilson's drink/drugs/broads lifestyle -- it's clearly been edited w/ a chainsaw)

dear tombot what is your favorite track on
http://www.djassault.com/catalog/images/s1.jpg
1 DJ Assault Goin' Back To Kali
2 Cybotron Cosmic Raindance
3 DJ Assault Terrortec
4 Unknown Artist Enforcer 8
5 Unknown Artist I'm A Hoe
6 Unknown Artist Bass Bass!!!
7 Unknown Artist Happy And You Know It
8 Unknown Artist J.P. Live
9 DJ Assault Technofreak
10 Unknown Artist Hypnomania
11 Unknown Artist Elevator Up
12 Waxmaster* Big Booty Bitch
13 Unknown Artist Fire It Up
14 DJ Assault Wussup, Wussup
15 Unknown Artist Zodiac
16 Unknown Artist Raw Dog
17 Unknown Artist U Remind Me
18 Unknown Artist Moments In Club
19 Unknown Artist Freak
20 DJ Assault Disco Guitar (Remix)
21 Unknown Artist Hoodrat
22 Unknown Artist Suck It
23 Unknown Artist Dnop
24 Unknown Artist Teenie Weenie
25 95 South Heiny Heiny
26 Unknown Artist Doppler Effect
27 Unknown Artist Let Me Bang (Remix)
28 DJ Assault Crank Dis Mutha
29 Unknown Artist Outro (Remix)
30 Unknown Artist Seared
31 Splack Pack Scrub Da Ground
32 Unknown Artist 2 Much Booty
33 Unknown Artist Freak Dem Hoez
34 Unknown Artist Let Dem Hoez Fight
35 2 Live Crew, The Hoochie Mama
36 DJ Assault Now Whusup, Whusup
37 Unknown Artist Wake Up
38 Erik Travis Bounce That Booty
39 Alpha Team Speed (Hardcore)
40 Unknown Artist Madd Blunted
41 Steve Poindexter Work That Motha Fucker (Remix)
42 Unknown Artist Taxicab
43 Jaydee Plastic Dreams
44 Unknown Artist Mr. Drumbeat
45 Unknown Artist Blad Headed Bitch
46 DJ Milton Hit It From The Back
47 DJ Deeon Shake What Your Mama Gave Ya
48 Unknown Artist My Truck
49 Unknown Artist Cleptomaniac
50 DJ Funk #1* I'm So Hi
51 Mr. De' Pussy By The Pound
52 DJ Assault Funky Bitch
53 Unknown Artist Ride Da Dick
54 A Number Of Names Shari Vari

no love the pussy, no credibility

I don't know the answer to that. My favorite ghetto tech track is Aaron-Carl's "No No" from Comin' From The D volume 2.

I bought a DJ Assault album once and felt like a mark listening to it.
I actually think I'm more of a Detroit Grand Pubahs guy.

you need soap and water

you don't got no cash, cash, cash
you don't get no ass, ass, ass

im not really riding for dj assault but u can't deny a 1996 mix with cybotron, soundmaster t, 2 live crew, plastic dreams & the ghettotech version of 'moments of love'

1 DJ Assault Goin' Back To Kali
2 Cybotron Cosmic Raindance
3 DJ Assault Terrortec
4 Unknown Artist Enforcer 8
5 Unknown Artist I'm A Hoe
6 Unknown Artist Bass Bass!!!
7 Unknown Artist Happy And You Know It
8 Unknown Artist J.P. Live
9 DJ Assault Technofreak
10 Unknown Artist Hypnomania
11 Unknown Artist Elevator Up
12 Waxmaster* Big Booty Bitch
13 Unknown Artist Fire It Up
14 DJ Assault Wussup, Wussup
15 Unknown Artist Zodiac
16 Unknown Artist Raw Dog
17 Unknown Artist U Remind Me
18 Unknown Artist Moments In Club
19 Unknown Artist Freak
20 DJ Assault Disco Guitar (Remix)
21 Unknown Artist Hoodrat
22 Unknown Artist Suck It
23 Unknown Artist Dnop
24 Unknown Artist Teenie Weenie
25 95 South Heiny Heiny
26 Unknown Artist Doppler Effect
27 Unknown Artist Let Me Bang (Remix)
28 DJ Assault Crank Dis Mutha
29 Unknown Artist Outro (Remix)
30 Unknown Artist Seared
31 Splack Pack Scrub Da Ground
32 Unknown Artist 2 Much Booty
33 Unknown Artist Freak Dem Hoez
34 Unknown Artist Let Dem Hoez Fight
35 2 Live Crew, The Hoochie Mama
36 DJ Assault Now Whusup, Whusup
37 Unknown Artist Wake Up
38 Erik Travis Bounce That Booty
39 Alpha Team Speed (Hardcore)
40 Unknown Artist Madd Blunted
41 Steve Poindexter Work That Motha Fucker (Remix)
42 Unknown Artist Taxicab
43 Jaydee Plastic Dreams
44 Unknown Artist Mr. Drumbeat
45 Unknown Artist Blad Headed Bitch
46 DJ Milton Hit It From The Back
47 DJ Deeon Shake What Your Mama Gave Ya
48 Unknown Artist My Truck
49 Unknown Artist Cleptomaniac
50 DJ Funk #1* I'm So Hi
51 Mr. De' Pussy By The Pound
52 DJ Assault Funky Bitch
53 Unknown Artist Ride Da Dick
54 A Number Of Names Shari Vari

hahaha

i meant 'moments in love'

Dear Tombot

How do I make enough money on the internet, so that I don't need a day job?

$300 per month would be ok

Legally?

someone start a porn site at momentsoflove.com.

maybe that would solve heave ho's problem too?

preferably

http://www.mturk.com/mturk/welcome

tom -

play this game and tell me what you think

http://hcsoftware.sourceforge.net/passage/

already tried that

If I could really figure out how to make money from the internet, $300 a month or otherwise (though that really is a lowball goal, to be sure) I probably wouldn't be here answering your questions. I think probably a good way is to write a blog about videogames and put up Google AdWords.

do you have any faith in the ny football giants' attempt to ruin the patriots' perfect season on december 29?

All I care about is watching our pass rush put Tom Brady in the dirt eight times.

good luck with that.

hey tombot you wanna get a drink sometime next week? i'm busy as fuck at the mo but the quasi-lady leaves for a vacation on saturday and a basic time of broing sounds really good.

of course, bro.

rad action

hey tombot, where can i find the killfile? it's fucking time.

it's fucking time already? YESSSS

Chikev, use SEARCH and look for KILLFILE in the the thread title.

lol who are you going to killfile

it's fucking time already? YESSSS

-- 69, Wednesday, December 12, 2007 4:22 PM (Wednesday, December 12, 2007 4:22 PM) Bookmark Link

after i posted that i realized it sounded like something out of a very adult issue of the fantastic four.

see DC thread for clue

xp

wtf? they are talking about couches then you say itlolians and he wants a killfile?

no no then jaymc shows up and asks kevin why hes killfiling him

OMG wait i understand LOLOLOLOLOLOL

wait cuz i dont

why is "chicago kevin" upset at "jaymc"?

For that backstory you'd have to read the Chicago thread for like the last year, chaks. I don't think any amount of curiosity is going to worth it.

chicago thread sounds real fun

ok then summarize please, laurel. this can only lead to lolz.

APPARENTLY I CAN'T STOP TAKING THE BAIT.

I AM MORAN!!!

I can't, I really can't. Please. This needs to just die.

Why would anyone be upset at jaymc?

Altho I spose someone could link the noise bored thread where he gave dates and times of my offending emails? I can't remember what it was called. Wd prob just raise more questions, tho.

oh man that was a GREAT thread!!!!!

chicago kevin vs jaymc is like andy rooney vs garrison keillor

it's fucking time already? YESSSS

It seems like you answered your own question, but if you still want my opinion, no.

lol who are you going to killfile

I don't killfile people, I banhammer people.

wtf? they are talking about couches then you say itlolians and he wants a killfile?

That seems like an accurate rundown, yeah.

why is "chicago kevin" upset at "jaymc"?

Because they are just very different kinds of people who don't get along well on the internet, or at all, as far as I can tell.

Why would anyone be upset at jaymc?

I've never really been upset with him myself except when he acts a bit dense, that can be really frustrating. But I'm sure everybody has their reasons.

Altho I spose someone could link the noise bored thread where he gave dates and times of my offending emails?

You're right, that is a thing which is totally possible.

i think it got deleted, actually

For the best.

poor jaymc

dear chaki,
i just thought you couldnt see jaymc's post because YOU HAD ALREADY KILLFILED HIM, so you didnt see where he was like do you hate me kevin circle one y/n

it was like a twilight zone thing,
pete

ps -

1. tom, what's your workout regimen these days? push-ups?
2. tom, who do you think can drink more in a sitting, me or mr. que?
3. tom, what are three specific things you want to do in 2008?
4. tom, hows yr aunt dixie?
5. tom, if you had it to do all over again, would you join the military?
6. tom, what's YOUR favorite miles davis album?
7. tom, what's you favorite non-cable TV show?
8. tom, do you like kate bush?
9. tom, where do you eat lunch in ballston?
10. tom, are you a strong swimmer?
11. tom, who do you think will be VP of the USA in 2009?
12. tom, im running out of shit here.
13. tom, where do you wanna go friday?

Tom, suggest a new way for me to eat a hamburger.

Tombot, why are you such a fearsome dude?

Love
Nath

1. tom, what's your workout regimen these days? push-ups?
2. tom, who do you think can drink more in a sitting, me or mr. que?
3. tom, what are three specific things you want to do in 2008?
4. tom, hows yr aunt dixie?
5. tom, if you had it to do all over again, would you join the military?
6. tom, what's YOUR favorite miles davis album?
7. tom, what's you favorite non-cable TV show?
8. tom, do you like kate bush?
9. tom, where do you eat lunch in ballston?
10. tom, are you a strong swimmer?
11. tom, who do you think will be VP of the USA in 2009?
12. tom, im running out of shit here.
13. tom, where do you wanna go friday?

1. Running up and down the escalators at Dupont two steps at a time, on both ends of my commute.

2. Mr. Que always stops after like beer #2 so we would never be able to find out. Probably you, because you keep hanging out with Le Bomb.

3. A. fix my sleeping schedule back to something resembling normalcy, B. eat more fish, C. a bunch of chicks

4. I'm not sure, she's been drinking a lot recently, and we can't tell whether her custom framing & gift/coffee/ice cream shop is making money or not.

5. Yes, they treated me pretty well and I made a lot of friendships that I fully expect to last the rest of my life.

6. I don't really have one, I'm more of a Mingus/Monk man. Trumpets and saxophones have never really been my thing.

7. NFL Football, Sundays from 1300-2330.

8. Nope.

9. I try not to, I prefer to wait it out until one of my evening coworkers starts "thinking outside the bun" or gets an inexplicable jones for Wendy's and pony up some funds for the run. There's also a cafeteria that I avoid whenever possible and Booeymonger's across the street that I'm sick of.

10. I certainly used to be, I haven't had to do any strong swimming in a long time though.

11. Ben Affleck.

12. That's too bad.

13. Somewhere we can sit down and have a beer.

tom please play that game and tell me your opinion. its v v small and takes 5 minutes.

Tom, suggest a new way for me to eat a hamburger.

Sideways.

Tombot, why are you such a fearsome dude?

Because people fear dudes they can't understand.

tom please play that game and tell me your opinion. its v v small and takes 5 minutes.

OK, but later tonight.

yay thanks.

dear chaki,
i just thought you couldnt see jaymc's post because YOU HAD ALREADY KILLFILED HIM, so you didnt see where he was like do you hate me kevin circle one y/n

i saw but that still doesnt explain WHY he hates him. futher postings on this subject to malkovitch thread please.

chaki:

That game is not v v small, it was like 2 MB. A game that looks and sounds like that should fit in about 640kb, no more. I got a score of 606 and then I died of old age. I don't think I'm going to recommend that any other games ever use "die of old age" as the primary mechanic. But it's hard to be harsh on a game made by one dude in his spare time that only lasts five minutes and is completely free.

the dude has a crazy life plan.

keep walking to the east until his hair falls out, looking for chunky treasure and then eventually turning into a gravestone?

the game designer apparently lives in total misery

http://cultivation.sourceforge.net/

his other game.

Cultivation Discussion

by jcr13 Wednesday, January 17, 2007 [12:26 pm]

http://cultivation.sourceforge.net/screen7_small.png Version 7 of my game Cultivation is available as a free download.

Cultivation explores the social interactions within a gardening community. You lead one family of gardeners, starting with a single individual, and wise choices can keep your genetic line from extinction. While breeding plants, eating, and mating, your actions impact your neighbors, and the social balance sways between conflict and compromise.

Cultivation features dynamic graphics that are procedurally-generated using genetic representations and cross-breeding. In other words, game objects are "grown" in real-time instead of being hand-painted or hard-coded. Each plant and gardener in the game is unique in terms of both its appearance and behavior.

For those of you who have found Cultivation to be confusing in the past, the game now includes an extensive in-game tutorial. The user interface has also been polished quite a bit, and one crash has been fixed. This is the version that I will be screening at Slamdance this coming weekend, so it counts as a "final" version.

Cultivation is certainly an unusual game, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's good. From my experience, some people absolutely love it, while others absolutely hate it. I'm pretty happy with this reaction (much better, I suppose, than everyone simply agreeing to shrug their shoulders about it). It's intended to be an "art game," after all, and mixed reactions go with that territory.

This seems like an appropriate time to explain a bit about what I was trying to do with Cultivation.

I live with my spouse and child in the small town of Potsdam, New York. We're pretty active in our community, through our food co-op, through our town's fight about Wal-Mart, through the non-profit Seedcorn, and even through our controversial choice of landscaping.

Throughout my three-year experience as an active community member, I observed (and participated in) many conflicts that erupted. Some conflicts were over relatively small things (like paper vs. plastic bags for co-op-made bread), while others were over much bigger things (like a 186,000 square foot store being built in our 15,000-person town).

I was discussing the Wal-Mart fight with a veteran of the local activism scene. He brought up the idea of "using war as a metaphor" for our struggles---he said that these days, he strives to avoid thinking about community issues in terms of win-or-lose and us-or-them. Instead, he said, the community itself, and the relationships in it, are the most important thing.

A few days later, I was discussing the Wal-Mart fight with a Christian. He talked about how the fight had created a terrible discord in our community, and that the damage caused by that discord was worse that whatever damage having (or not having) Wal-Mart would do.

Those two conversations caused me to think about how I approach conflict in real life, but they also caused me to think about game design. Many games deal with conflict, but almost all of them paint conflict as black-and-white. These game reward scorched-earth victories (and may make such a victory the primary goal).

I wanted to make a game that explored the subtle trade-offs involved in conflict. On the one hand, you want to fight for what you think is right, but on the other hand, the fighting itself can have enormous costs for both sides. Is it better to compromise with your opponents and end up with a result that only seems half-right to you? This conflict balance is lurking everywhere, from small community squabbles to the global "war on terror." For example, should "we" negotiate with "terrorists?" That is a difficult question, certainly.

Of course, every conflict has a setting, and I needed one for my game. I didn't want to make yet another game about war, so I spent many months thinking. I could make a game about a Wal-Mart fight, but that felt too much like jumping on the persuasive games bandwagon (there's a McDonald's Video Game, but did I want to be the creator of the Wal-Mart Video Game?). I was feeling particularly stumped on June 16, 2006, so I took a walk out into our backyard garden to clear my head.

The general mechanic I was considering at the time revolved around compromise---sometimes, it might be best to give up something that you want in order to end a fight with your opponent and move on. You could think about this general mechanic in terms of gaining and losing ground. While I was sitting in my garden, an idea came to me: when neighbors are growing food together, conflict might erupt over the boundaries between neighbors' plots.

Back in the house, I scribbled down eleven pages of notes in what felt like eleven minutes. Those eleven pages were a rather complete---albeit rough---design document for what I would eventually call Cultivation.

The next three months were consumed by coding as I turned the design into a game. Implementing the mechanics for the social simulation was relatively easy. As far as "content" was concerned, I already had the groundwork for a nice solution---for years, I had been exploring genetic algorithms for content generation, but I had never found any use for the fruits of those explorations. Applying these ideas to Cultivation, I tried several ways of mapping genetic parameters to plant leaf shapes, and I finally came up with an algorithm that carried out a rough simulation of cell growth to fill a texture map. My first test of this algorithm simply generated 50 leaves and saved them to disk as image files. Watching a slide show of the resulting images stunned me---I was looking at some of the most beautiful 32x32 pixel images that I had ever seen. There were endless variations of form, and just when I thought I had seen every possible "style" of leaf generated by this system, I would stumble upon yet another leaf that looked like nothing I'd seen before. Still to this day, while testing Cultivation, I am surprised by the unique and interesting plants that appear on my screen.

With this success behind me, I continued to apply genetic and procedural ideas to the rest of the graphical content: to flowers, to fruit, and to the gardeners themselves. When I was finished programming all the content, I had a graphical game without a single pre-rendered texture map or sprite. This was a game with endless visual variety that still fit on a single floppy disk.

In the initial release of Cultivation, neighbors would respond to encroachment with both counter-encroachment (claiming some of your plants as their own) and social scorn (refusing to mate with you). With only these mechanics in place, fighting just didn't feel serious enough---a fight could continue indefinitely without any real consequences, since after two plots overlapped completely, no further revenge was possible for either side. I had to think of a more serious act to crown the peak of an escalating fight. Poisoning, which is now a key mechanic in Cultivation, fit perfectly. This mechanic allows an angry neighbor to poison a plant. Poison not only kills the target plant, but it also renders the ground around the plant forever unusable.

With poisoning in place, fighting has a serious consequence: part of a common resource (fertile ground) is ruined for everyone. Thus, the mechanics of the game underscore what I was trying to explore as an artist. This leads me to the point of this article: games can convey a message in a way that other media cannot.

As an example, let's consider the novel as a medium for conveying a message. First of all, we could come right out and state our thesis to the reader: "Conflict can cost both sides more than either stands to gain by winning." Of course, a bald statement like this might not be very convincing, and it is certainly not much fun to read. Instead, we could tell a story in our novel that somehow illustrated this point (the book/film House of Sand and Fog comes to mind). Even if we never come right out and state our thesis in plain words, a perceptive reader would hopefully understand the point of our story. After using either a direct thesis statement or an illustrative story, however, we have pretty much emptied our "novel" toolbox. The same set of tools are available in the other non-interactive media, such as film, audio, or painting.

With games, we have those tools, too. We can come right out and state our thesis (by displaying text on the screen, or through a voice-over). We can also tell a story with our game that illustrates a point (as many adventure games do). We have one addition tool, though: we can construct mechanics that illustrate a point---mechanics that tend to lead the player down a particular path and toward a particular conclusion. For example, instead of telling a story about characters that find themselves trapped by a difficult decision, we can actually trap the player with a difficult decision and let the player experience the consequences of the choice that he or she makes.

In Cultivation, the game system teeters on the verge of uncontrolled conflict, and the player can make choices within this system that affect the balance. Perhaps it is impossible to win the game by acting only out of self-interest, but likewise, it may be impossible to win acting only out of altruism (I say "perhaps" here because, even as the designer of the system, I have only explored a tiny fraction of the game's possible permutations). Players can directly see the results of the choices that they make.

In his book A Theory of Fun for Game Design, Raph Koster explores the idea of building mechanics that explore artistic messages in great detail, so I won't discuss it further here. I will say, however, that I strongly believe we should be doing this.

If we want to tell a story, why not just write a novel or make a film? If we are making art games, we should take advantage of the strengths of our medium: we should use interactive mechanics to help the player explore our points.

selling mom's volvo was the best decision we ever made!

Recomend me a wordpress theme please

http://themes.wordpress.net/columns/1-column/6/basic-10/

tombot when's the last time you were in a fight and what happened

A british motherfucker tried to start shit with me on the floor of the Luxor while I was returning from a wedding reception and I told him to step off, he slapped me, ran off, then the casino security and LVPD showed up like SNAP. I didn't feel like pressing charges, I gave a description and went to bed.

Every time I've been in a real fight, I've always come away feeling like I got the worst of it, and all witnesses involved have told me I beat the living shit out of my opponent. I'm not sure what that means, especially since the witnesses are usually right, and despite my best efforts I never believe them

I think what it boils down to is that I always have extreme regrets with regard to violence, despite apparently being better at it than the dipshit fucks who attempt to use it against me

but that's pretty self-aggrandizing

The guy who attacked me in London walked away with a destroyed shirt and probably quite a fucked up face, while I woke up the next morning looking exactly as I had the previous morning. The only difference for me was a feeling of terror that followed me for almost the entire day.

Next question.

sounds like the appropriate response to me

so why you so down on modern techno so much

excuse me, 'recent electronic music' rather

techno just never seems to have washed the taste of its own ass out of its mouth after crawling all the way up in there in about 1999. I liked it when it was a movement of sound, not a trendsetting intellectual exercise. It grew and grew and then it obliterated itself into bellybutton shit. See "disco." Also, I'm not into beatless software masturbating. See "I can twist the knobs on my own AM radio receiver for free."

your addendum to your own question actually provides a more succinct zing answer than I ever possibly could

why you break heart all of time

clear answer though

i'm guessing you have access to the google analytics account? how many unique users do we average a day?

Tombot,

Are 'Friends' Electric?

Also, is the Tubeway Army superior to the U.S. Army?

sanskrit, I don't actually, but probably the number is a lot higher than your think.

Nicole, no to both, I'm afraid.

tombot, will the patriots win the superbowl?

dear tombot,

who is a better techno dj, you or dj surgeon?

deeznuts: Can't see how they won't.

vahid: Surgeon.

correct.

cool mang. not trying out any heave ho shit, just curious what the regulars/lurkers ratio is.

el tomboto: are these a total waste of money?

http://www-tech.mit.edu/V123/N58/gadget_58.58f.html

also see everbody who buys one helping TSI to eat the costs of their dismissed lawsuit against Consumer's Union because CR said the ionic breeze was a failure as an air cleaner and the judge said CR was basically telling the truth

tombot, do you get to take a secret underground maglev train to work?

no

I'm kinda looking for a new job again actually

are you at that level of top-secrecy that if you try to quit your job jason bourne will kill you

No, I've never done anything actually cool to be honest.

i am going to continue to pretend that you do

Dear Tombot,

Waht is first step: a) wait till Prozac fully kicks in, or b) overcome avoidant personality and make friends

CS

what the hell were you drinking tonight???

if you have to ask, then a)

dear TOMBOT,

do individual dogs tend to favor lifting a particular back leg when pissing, or can they go either way? (do dogs have handedness?)

Crutis: I have always been in favor of everybody trying their absolute best to get by without pharmocological remedies whenever possible. Generally because they wear off and have side effects and it becomes clear they're more of a band-aid than a real solution, no different from booze and weed and other popular medications for dealing with the shit planet we built for ourselves. Of course if nothing else seems to work, well, that's why they make the stuff, for you to take it.

gershy: Not enough!!!

mookiproof: I would assume they do, and probably feel weird if they try to use the other leg. If dogs were all ambi-legged I would be surprised.

tom, my dog would adjust to whatever leg was nearest the object of pissing.

ANECDOTES ARE NOT SCIENCE
UNLESS IS IT AN ANECDOTE ABOUT A MYTHBUSTERS EPISODE

all the dogs I've known favored their right leg and would adjust their position rather than lift the other leg.

Or when they get too fat to lift, it's time to squat.

for my little dog it was more whatever side he happened to happen upon because he'd piss on any/everything.

i miss that fucking dog something fucking fierce.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1075/1064279201_e42887ed39.jpg?v=0

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2043/1807213762_e268f64804.jpg?v=0

his mom is letting him get fat...

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2219/1986258847_c8cc2b92c1.jpg?v=0

tom, is the war room aware of this?
http://www.noradsanta.org/

tombot

do you like pastor troy?

sanskrit: I signed the NDA, sorry bro.

and what: I don't know, dude! I'll have to look him up and see if he wants to hang.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYS4YxqmxEA

Rhymes with "Spiller" or pronounced along the lines of Milan?

I wanna move to mars w/some "purple kush", and two snow flake ho"s and drank. Real niggas get throwed on a daily partna

I know who the last prophet was according to the jewish faith, I know who invented the first buffalo wing sauce and when, I know about the poincare conjecture, I know a lot of things - but I cannot parse that sentence

I just know in my heart that it is awesome

purple kush = strong weed
snowflake = white
drank = drink
throwed = real fucked up
on a daily = every day
patna = partner

thanks for ruining it

move to mars, dorito breath

tombot

how did you go from being a dude i couldnt stand to #1 fav poster must read A++++

shit happens, I guess

I'm not really sure what happened to me tbh
I'm sort of more mellow but also sort of not

http://circadianshift.net/images/peter1.jpg

Tom,

Why do you hate Passantino so much? Dude does it all for the lolz.

I don't hate him, goof. I am applying the Golden Rule.

doh

Dom is like that black stuff that ate Tasha Yar.

sorry and what but I can't possibly pretend to tolerate that hotel preset bullshit in any format. surely pastor troy and his boys are saying words that are meaningful to a great deal of humans, whether they know it or not. Unfortunately as usual I am amongst that scarcity of sapiens that find his efforts unworthy of a minute of my time and therefore you owe me at least half a beer depending on what nation we may be in at the time.

to summarize, no.

ethan is totally right, you are a must read poster. Weird, this happens a lot. Guess love and hate are close.
anyway what telly do you watch?
also, ever been to belgium?

tombot-

update on your night as wingman plz.

Rhymes with "Spiller" or pronounced along the lines of Milan?

-- Pleasant Plains, Monday, December 24, 2007 3:31 PM (Monday, December 24, 2007 3:31 PM) Bookmark Link

Who's getting rich off of porn?

mill-are

right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ua5wvMWrPIs

^^ "considered especially heinous"

now i know what it means to be a special victim

xxxp - m'lar

anyway what telly do you watch?
also, ever been to belgium?

I am lately a devotee of the following:

MythBusters
CSI
CSI Miami
Law & Order: Criminal Intent

I have been known to enjoy Dirty Jobs, How It's Made, Torchwood, Dr. Who, and the occasional Law & Order: SVU episode.

I own every episode ever released of Futurama, Monty Python, Band of Brothers, and The Prisoner. I would like to own every episode of these:

Seconds From Disaster
Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law

I will generally watch any sport that's on, unless that sport is basketball. I would rather watch womens' soccer than fucking basketball.

I have also been known to dabble in dubbed Japanese cartoons that are +20 years in vintage.

update on your night as wingman plz.

I spent most of the evening drinking with a south-of-tirolian film student discussing movies and politics and junk.
The "peacock" claimed to have gotten a couple of "sets" "dancing" for him while he was wandering around but I'll be surprised if he actually "converts" with his "digits" since he seems to have merely gotten "smashed" in the "bar next door" while being "cruised" by a "fag."

Who's getting rich off of porn?

A small collection of men who choose to live demonstratively in support of their firm diseblief in the afterlife.

Rhymes with "Spiller" or pronounced along the lines of Milan?

mill-are

right?

right! Do you know any of us? We have a lot of Georgia taxpayers in the clan, hence my strong consideration of becoming a Jags fan after the divorce.

m'lar

this is accurate as well but too late, no bananas left

oh and I may have been to belgium but was too little to remember.

Belgium has what, 10 million people and about 300 kinds of beer.

actually, 10 and a HALF million people, and over 500 kinds of beer.

I sit corrected. I don't remember Belgium terribly well, apart from fries, mussels, beer, and rain.

Should I buy this or leave well enough alone. It got a relatively good review in the TLS.

Dear Tombot,

How did you discover Gunhed?! I thought I was the only one that's experienced that masterpiece.

Yours in metal,
Jeff

How come your thread hasn't devolved into personal insults and hardmanship like mine did?

And who do you really hate on this board?

TOMBOT what should i buy with a $25 amazon gift certificate

i think you should buy 3750 ladybugs:

http://www.amazon.com/1500-Live-LadyBugs-GOOD-BUGS/dp/B000MR6WRG/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1200603665&sr=8-2

Product Features
- Ladybugs eat aphids, mealy bugs, scale, leaf hoppers, and other destructive pests.
- They keep on eating until the bad guys are gone, laying their own eggs in the process.
- You will love them because ladybugs really work, plus they will be doing something favorable for the environment.
- You will receive 1500 Lady Bugs! <------ LOL
- Immediate Shipping!

2004 Nissan Altima Product Features

- It's a car!

M. White: Yes, you should get that book, and then tell me if it's any good when you read it.

Jeff: Late night cable, some years ago.

Mr. Plains: because I am a take-no-shit professional, and I have been around forever.

gbx: some Walker Percy books.

nobody was talking to you, elmo!!

Sci-Fi Channel at 2 A.M.? Because that's how I discovered it.

Sounds about right.

I don't think I 'got' The Moviegoer.

;_;

fine, i will go start my own "ask elmo" thread even tho no one asks me shit anytime

TOMBOT i need something new to listen to? what is it?

Mr. Plains: because I am a take-no-shit professional, and I have been around forever.

Hmm. I'm not sure if I like the implications of this answer.

I thought ladybugs was a good suggestion

tombot, where should i move:

somewhere cheaper in LA, SF, or back to RI?

I have seen firsthand the results of a ladybug infestation inside a house and it's not pretty. I kind of don't recommend it? Also they start to smell funny and stinky/astringent in large numbers/when dead/when sucked into a vacuum and pulverized.

i thought they were lucky

oh right laurel i peed in your house :\

Mr. Justen: I recommend the "Juice" OST.

Remy: Stick it out in LA. I was going to say take a leave of absence of sorts and go back home but then realized I should preach what I practice and stop trying to live vicariously through people who ask me for advice.

awww

S. Successor calls ladybugs "venereal bugs".

my old lady bought a buncha ladybugs for her garden--they all flew away a day later. still a good idea though

i don't have a garden

put them in a cage on the back of your bike and release them next time you go on a long ride

Dear Tombot,

I'm repainting a house and have free rein for the most part (getting it ready to sell). As a prospective buyer/renter, would you rather see a living room of '60s veneer wood panelling left as it was (dark), or would you prefer the panelling painted?

if you could buy $15 of LSD from amazon + $10 of ladybugs then maybe you'd have something

oh right laurel i peed in your house :\

-- A Ladybug, Thursday, January 17, 2008 9:23 PM (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

i'd have....thousands of ladybugs tripping on acid. which would be fun, i guess!

Pete I'm confused: in Michigan?

yes laurel oh man im so embarrassed

You should really tell my mother. It would explain a lot about the cats' behavior in the attic.

ladybugs used to invade my old office at my last job every october. there would literally THOUSANDS of them in the walls and ceilings and light fixtures. it was pretty gross.

i think i would let ladybugs swarm me

the live ones i didn't mind, the dead ones baking in the overhead light fixtures were pretty gross though.

tom, u know that someone putting up w you and you loving someone are different, right?? u deserve it all

tombot why did you ban heave ho again?

milo: I would rather see it as-is, so that I may paint it myself if I so desire, but I am weird. Any room with dark walls is generally considered a liability by realtors. If I were in the position of the painter, as you are, I wouldn't bother, because I'm a lazy guy.

pete, thank you, bro. sometimes I need to be reminded.

chaki, I wasn't the one who finally dropped the hammer, but I fully agreed with the decision. He abuses ILX to further his own schemes and his stalking of several regular posters led to a series of complaints after each of which I warned his ass. three strikes.

but he came back and was banned again today. thats what i was referring to.

Tom, pancakes or waffles.

(And to keep it in our local tradition.)

Stella or Hoegaarden?

tombot why is itunes suddenly only playing nick lowe every 3rd song or so?

chaki: in all honesty I could not give a bad fuck about heave ho getting rebanned, one way or the other. I know he was still up to his same old shit on HTML Playground, which I tried my best to understand but really using ILX to play SEO games is no different from comment spam.

Mrs. nixed: Waffles and Hoegaarden.

chi-kev: I tried to fix it for you, did it take?

tombot:

can you come to hawaii and do a youtube version of ask tombot?

-gr8080

tom, playing the goodies "sophisticated boom boom" now. i let you know in two more songs.

gr8080, I may get real paid but unfortunately all my time off for the near future is already booked solid, I can certainly make that into one of my personal goals.

I don't think Heave Ho was REALLY SEO spamming

Dear El Tomboto,

Have you ever been ice-fishing?

nick

dear el tom,
when i move countries i may or may not take my shitty laptop. how do i get/what is best way to get all the stuff off my computer so i can put it onto another? i KNOW i'm computer-retarded, but this is a serious question so do not mock.

~RR

Mr. alicious: No, and I have no interest in ever doing so, it seems like a tiny slice of hell.

RR: take your shitty laptop with you, you can plug laptops into just about anything. If you need to copy things or back shit up, burn some CD-ROMs.

tombot, the ten (the movie) y/n?

the trailer is better than the film, which I realized was inevitable as soon as I saw the trailer.

ok thanks tom

I know this isn't Ask Nickalicious thread but,

Jordan,

The movie is terrible...don't watch!

too late, i already like it!!

i think it's going to benefit from rewatching a la wet hot american summer.

tom, you once posted a simple recipe to fry a steak and i cannot find it. please help.

seasoning rub:

1 part kosher salt / coarse ground sea salt
1 part coarse ground black pepper
1 part garlic powder / granulated garlic
1 part parsley flakes
dash cayenne or other hot red pepper to taste

put a dime of oil in your pan and cover the frying surface with it - doesn't take much - you can also spritz it with pam if that's what you got

mix up the seasonings in a little bowl and sprinkle a pinch or two on the steak. rub it across the meat, flip it over, sprinkle a pinch on the other side, rub it in again. let the steak sit for a bit while you heat up the pan - about five minutes will give the juices time to rise to the surface (this is what happens whenever raw meat and coarse salt hang out)

depending on how you like your steak and how thick it is you'll want to give it 2.5 to 4 minutes on each side once it's in the pan. I generally eyeball it, I like mine medium rare. High heat is important so you get a nice seared crust on each side.

for a bonus, as soon as you get the steak out of the pan, pour some red win in the pan and turn the heat down to medium, then throw in some chopped fresh mushrooms or a little bit of diced onions or whatever to make a sauce.

let me know if you run into any trouble.

Is misanthropy bad for your blood pressure?

no. high blood pressure, ulcers, kidney stones et al. are largely caused by acquired parasites and inherited factors. Shingles remains the only "stress disease" I have ever contracted, and misanthropy was not a factor at that time. In fact, I should say that my high anger floor, properly managed, is one of the things keeping me healthy and alive, because why should I get sick or die when all you fucking morons are walking around breathing my fucking air?

thanks tom!

doesn't drinking affect bp?

again, inherited factors determine whether it does or not

also I am on teh wagron

the shaggin' wagon?

ombot why is itunes suddenly only playing nick lowe every 3rd song or so?

-- chicago kevin, Thursday, January 17, 2008
Kevin, I'm assuming your iPod was ramping up for the Jesus Of Cool reissue that happens today I think.

I have dangerously low blood pressure so smoking, eating salty food and being mad are good for me. I GET STRONGER WITH ANGER

http://www.komar.org/bloghulk/2006/hulk-thing-1.jpg

L-R, Tombot, Catsup dude

I just watched the Simpsons episode where Bart wants to know who stronger!

EXCUSE ME DID THE TITLE CHANGE TO "ASK JAMES REDD AND THE BLECCHS"

ANGER... BUILDING INSIDE... MUST KEEP THREAD ON TRACK...

ITS THREAD CLOBBERIN TIME

so did anybody else have any questions or not

tombot, what's a decent online resource for finding me a new apartment? craigslist and the reader are letting me down.

omg i luv that website where those kids come from - i emailed their dad the photographer my compliments once

apartments.com worked for me the first time out, it's good for large managed complexes and not much else. I'd rip the names and addresses of the buildings off of there and then look them up on google maps or elsewhere to get a real phone #. I keep forgetting whether you moved or not.

no, i'm here until october or november or whenever this job ends. i should probably nail that down.

Tombot, do you wear houseshoes?

wait kevin where you move

no, but I do have a couple pairs of those nubby socks that have a tread printed on the bottom. I also keep a pair of ugly pumas around with the laces out as my shitkicker slip-ons.

I have so many of those socks!

tombot, what sort of cellphone should i get when i move to US? i just want a good basic thing that makes calls and texts, no internet wizardry shit. also, must be user-friendly.

Wait until you get here and then find out which carrier best serves your local area for the money. Brand and type of phone will follow from that decision.

ok thanks tombot

lol u guna get metro-pcs. commonly known in aokland as "ghetro-pcs."

what?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MetroPCS

this is going to be your carrier. you will most likeley get a free nokia series 30 from them.
http://www.sachcc.org/member_services/MetroPCS%20PMS%20Big%20SPEAK_HiRES.gif

you do not even need an ID to get a contract with them!

ok thanks chaki :)

So we can delete "Ask Chaki!" now?

ANGER... BUILDING INSIDE... MUST KEEP THREAD ON TRACK...

im sorry, tom :(

why do the images in polls disappear after the poll closes

-- am0n, Saturday, March 1, 2008 6:33 PM (Yesterday)

why do the images in polls disappear after the poll closes

-- am0n, Saturday, March 1, 2008 6:33 PM (Yesterday)

-- am0n, Tuesday, March 4, 2008 3:13 PM (1 minute ago)

I would complain about the quality of your revive but it's much better than what just happened on ASK TEHRESA

tombot what was the single most important event/factor that made you the bot you are today

i may have asked this before but i can't remember

probably my parents fucking.

(has anybody done studies of monozygotic twins to determine if attitudes on "nature vs. nurture" are genetically determined?)

true, yet unenlightening. during yr lifetime then

(xp i haven't)

during my lifetime? probably my parents' not fucking anymore after having me.

Is this book any good?

http://www.amazon.com/Chatter-Dispatches-Secret-Global-Eavesdropping/dp/1400060346

No. None of those kinds of books are any good, because nobody who has anything interesting to say is allowed to write a book, and everybody else manages to fuck it up with huge dollops of hyperbole trying to distract you from the fact that they don't actually have anything remotely interesting to say. Ask yourself what you could possibly hope to find out by reading something like that that you would find surprising or genuinely thought-provoking in any way. Right.

In short, read fas.org

reading something like the James Bamford books after you already know this shit is going on in the world is kind of like taking two-semester sequence of ADVANCED SANTA CLAUS IS NOT REAL after finding out, you know, santa's not real

and yeah what jon said, shit's out there for free. cryptome.org too but don't forget the salt

i heard you can track santa on norad

tombot,

did you know that the race in texas is very close?

thats what ive heard

TB, why is it so hard to find george allen (the coach) vids on youtube, esp the one where he says "every time you lose, you die a little, inside. Not all your organs; maybe just your liver."

i met george allen's widow in a cafe in paris in 1997. she gave me a pocket schedule from his last year at long beach state.

bb, no, I hadn't heard.

cankles, that is because NFL Films hires the greatest internet hardmen alive to track their material down and torch the abode of anybody who tries to post it. I am planning to attend their combine in a few years to see how I measure up.

Tom, do you know of any web sites that would have video of the hilarious less-than-lethal weapon known as "sticky foam"? Youtube is a bust.

dan, I think part of the problem might be that sticky foam lost favor shortly before the internet got big. Defensetech says it's now deployed in security doors. They don't like to use it on people much because the "non-lethality" bit turns out to not be very true should you happen to get any of it around your breathing apparatus.

Tom,

Is yr Sony hate driven by their attitude towards consumers or by disappointment in their products?

Dan,

I am still massively pissed off about the rootkit DRM scandal. The fact that the company is still run with an eye towards continuing to implement similar snake oil wherever possible is why I continue my unrelenting grudge. I pretty much boycott anybody who distributes DRM content. I would prefer everybody switch to eMusic and Amazon from iTunes, too.

tombot,

can you suggest a book for me to read? i'm thinking about stopping at powell's on the way to the train.

kevin, for lighter fare, I have recently enjoyed Atul Gawande's "Better," the works of Walker Percy, and John McPhee's "Uncommon Carriers."

In fact yeah definitely check out the last one, it's in paperback now.

(btw "for lighter fare" I am just disclaiming that you probably would not want to read the shit I have been educating myself with lately)

In fact yeah definitely check out the last one, it's in paperback now.

my sister's boyfriend gave it to me as thanks for letting him crash at my place when he was driving from boston to portland, oregon. i really dug that book, the canoe trip on the merrimack would have taken him right through my hometown.

Tom, what topics are of interest to you lately ("educating")

mostly hard sociological and psychological stuff on the cognitive issues contributing to systems accidents

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Mad_scientist&diff=98023606&oldid=96706991

right now, what is your favourite anecdote/example of cognitive issues contributing to systems accidents?

insufficient documentation on the format of crontab entries at one organization caused a critical server to almost tip over one morning because a developer had plugged a task in there that was generating 60 instances of itself every night. nobody noticed that anything was malfunctioning for months because 1. nobody ever ps greps the cron user 2. "that server is always slow" 3. expected outputs were being generated each morning with no problems until the tipping point was reached. had a certain astute individual not immediately identified and run down the source of the fire who knows what would have happened. the offending programmer was told to clean it up and spent the next hour committing process genocide. this was no boat accident.

i take it you can't say which organization?

I can't wait until the cron scripts I have to generate static versions of query heavy pages fail.

Perhaps when I leave my job, locking my account will disable them!

http://grigbertz.com/gallery/v/nethack/

What do you think about THIS?

semi-nsfw

also, i am afraid i am going to get that chatter book unless you can suggest a better book about 20C or later US intelligence, why becaue it look interesting, even if it is horseshit. suggestions welcome!

http://www.randomhouse.com/features/bamford/images/cover3.gif

What do you think about THIS?

I don't think about that.

ty

semi

waht

gbx, please be more specific.

dear tombot,

how come you don't step up and pwn these clowns?

http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/03/07/china.hackers/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

What exactly are you asking me to do? Phone Interpol and tell them to read CNN?

I mean I read variations on that "news" every day, I'm not a cop though, and I definitely don't have jurisdiction in the countries where all these douchebags live. Also, script kiddies are braggarts, film at fucking 11.

so you're just going to sit there with your thumb up your ass?!?!?!?!

i thought you were a PATRIOT

I do homeland SECURITY, not homeland BUSTING FOREIGNERS WITH DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR

also I'm pretty sure typing "US DOD" into google counts for "hacking the pentagon" nowadays

T, can the new Stephen Chow film be as mediocre as the reviews say?

http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en-us&q=US+DOD&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

check out my sweet pentagon haxx

real hackers delete the client and language string, n00b

now I know where u live and ur OS!!!

nah bro i hacked those too, im in karachi using firefox PWN3D

Morbs: Judging by the average career arc of semi-brilliant stylish genre filmmakers from overseas I'd say he's due for a real clunker, sadly.

for clarification, if chaki hadn't said anything, nobody would be having a problem right now, would they?

-- El Tomboto, Friday, March 7, 2008 10:27 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Link

wtf there about 400 posts of fighting before i said anything and all i did was repost a jw thing. u r such a butt biter.

you're a shit stirrer. I'm tired of dealing with the shit you stir. mind your own goddamn business once in a while.

but please do keep feigning ignorance, it's charming.

its a public forum. i only comment on things posted on ilx. i mind my own goddamn business when it comes to you for example.

blaming me for that thread was total bullshit obv. the bitching and fighting was well underway before i said anything. just an example of your lame totally biased modding.

Sure!

http://msnbcmedia4.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/050616/050616_tyson_mcbride_hmed_7a.h2.jpg

Or like when you reposted pretty fucking evil libelous stuff that had been deleted so that the mods had to delete your post off the mod board? Grow up man

QUESTIONS FOR TOMBOT PLEASE

ANGER RISING

TOMBOT,

Should I, neither Lutheran nor gay, go to the 'games' party tonight with the pretty-dull Lutheran teetotalers, or should I let the gays take me to 'a major bash in this awesome designer's apartment' where they will give me a whole bunch of drinks and try to convince me that everyone is just a little bisexual.

'Neither' is unfortunately not an option.

no offense to anyone but I am all over the lutheran games party in that scenario. if you're a straight (where straight is defined as completely incapable of being interested in getting oral from another man) getting drunk with a bunch of gay guys cannot be underrated enough. it SUUUUCKS. also "lutheran teetotaler" is an oxymoron, isn't it?

Mr. TOMBOTo,

So, what's the deal with the Dutch board? The people demand to know the truth. Where did it come from, why is it here, what is it for, and why is it tolerated?

Domo arrigato,
Bobby

Bobby,

I don't know, shit was before my time. But it probably came from the Netherlands, is here because the Netherlands have access to the internet, is for people from the Netherlands to have conversations on the internet, and it is tolerated because ILX's own existence is a product of the continued prosperity of NATO and the EU as well as APEC, therefore, we seek to further international goodwill wherever possible.

i appreciate your thoughts, sir. personally i am in very much favour of it, largely because of the sheer randomness of its very existence, and i hope it can be safeguarded for future generations to be puzzled by.

wat did u think of the movie "breach"?

what was your favourite bar in tallin?

am0n, I think that Breach is pretty decent on its own merits and it certainly does an admirable job of representing the white people bits of the DCMA, along with an absolutely astounding job of reproducing the interior of the J Edgar Hoover building during 2001-2003. Unfortunately, I don't want to hear another goddamn thing about Bob Hanssen whether Chris Cooper is doing a great job of pretending to be him or not and The Departed is about forty orders of magnitude better as a double double agent film.

caek, this was my favorite bar in tallinn:

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1018/802456337_38b9ef0892.jpg

ryan phillippe as... tombot

"fuck this FBI shit, I'm going to go work for.. Homeland Security"

dear thomas,

why the fuck can't this site put together a real fuckin search engine? why is it that bigger forums manage to have functional ass search engines while we are stuck with the internet equivalent of a fuckin candelabra in a cavern? is it money? i bet if yall put a paypal button on the front page enough ppl would contribute to whip that shit into shape. c'mon you pussies.

google works pretty well

for shit that actually got indexed

for shit that actually got indexed

that was my favourite bar too. excellent home fries type snacks and tolerant of our behaviour. söök and jook.

http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f325/caek/Picture1-1.png

(not me, friend who looks like robert de niro who does not like being photographed)

TONEBOT

we are trying to book a show in DC: halp???????? would walrus or que know anything about anything?

pretzel walrus would be the dude I think

http://www.parconline.biz/photoart/images/20060929110728_img_0023.jpg

how do i do it

get ahold of him, like

I have no idea honestly. try e-mailing him from an old post?

tombot u never answered me! it was a serious q.

guys i'm still real proud of my TOMBATSIGNAL.jpg

yeah but ade this is the ask tombot thread, not the moderator request forum? it's kind of like asking the bouncer why his establishment doesn't offer bottle service

dogg i started a thread about it on there a while back and all that happened was one limey screaming at me, another limey givin me a really unsatisfying answer, and the thread bein locked. i thot mb u could do better, idk!!!!

TOMBOT: is your PS3 thread going to be RONG fodder soon/now? :/

I see this thread's getting modded, too.

TOMBOT, I'm askin':

What to do about personal space invader who lives downstairs, can hear his drunken caterwauling. Dude is always drunk or hung over and SMELLS too.

how ghastly

let me guess, nick nolte?

tremendoid to thread

No, dude is way more decrepit than a Nolte. He's more like Withnail plus 30 pounds and 30 years. I just want to HULK SMASH him because on top of above complaint he has blacked out his windows and balcony, hassles all neighbours and caretaker and is nosy neighbour.

BTW I was asking TOMBOT.

what band is he in?

http://everseradio.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/SpaceInvaders.jpg

Chaki: Mother Fist and the Jizzstains. Next!

I have no *real* reason to hate the silly cow, yet I am consumed by a dislike so extreme I cannot quite explain it. Well, nyah, nepotist colonic-irrigating, irritating bitch won't be joining OUR club anytime soon.

Wow, you're so amazing and superior to me, I'll try to remember that next time your towering intellect crosses my humble path.

Sorry, TOMBOT.

lol humble

I know trollbait when I write it, trust me on that!

i talked to andy warhol; he said you're lame

What to do about personal space invader who lives downstairs, can hear his drunken caterwauling. Dude is always drunk or hung over and SMELLS too.

Set him on fire.

let me guess, nick nolte?

No.

what band is he in?

Gorillaz.

xpost it's funny because the satire and the object of satire are more or less indistinguishable

If I set him on fire, TOMBOT, there is a slight risk the rising flames might singe my own apartment.

Also, jail sucks.

Well, move out yourself or force him to move out somehow. At least he hasn't shown up at your door off his meds and requested that you punch him.

Motherfucker freaks me out, what can I say, but neither of us will be moving AFAIK. There's a form for asking your neighbours to check for leaks but pounding on doors and shouting through the letterbox before you've even left your seat JUST AIN'T IT. Skin. Crawling...

minimize time spent at home

Hahahaha, I *am* on a fucker of a deadline as it happens.

Tombot, please elaborate on your posts in the o_O regarding Marcello vs Blount. Thanks.

goddaaaamn dude I just made a steak following your directions and it was one of the best steaks I ever had! thanks!

Actually being completely honest, I think the best porn would just be some hot girls looking like they just got out of bed preparing a full 5-course meal in a big kitchen but wearing just thongs and no tops.

-- TOMBOT, Monday, December 22, 2003 5:08 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

^ this :D ?

I got a nasty-ass blistering grease burn on my thumb. i could not allow some hot girls wearing just thongs and no tops to be exposed to that kind of danger because I. am. that. kind. of. gentleman.

i will allow some hot girls wearing just thongs and no tops to expose themselves to me

wearing just thongs = ample exposure. i'd rather have the five courses.

Tombot, please elaborate on your posts in the o_O regarding Marcello vs Blount. Thanks.

It's not any of your business, sorry.

^ this :D ?

what? no i haven't bothered to copyright or patent that yet, run with it.

?_?

ned raggett, "englande (tombot rmx)"

who is that person? ^

what is this remix?

I have no fucking idea who that is!!! hawtf

that was me & ned's collabo for the ILX Compilation. I'm still working on a whole EP of Ned reading T✧✧@K✧✧.E✧✧ posts over my beats but I've been slacking horribly

tom, i need a recent photo of you

for non creepy purposes

I have no recent photos but I can go take on of myself in a minute and send it to flickr. are you going to use my likeness for commercial purposes?

o_O

xxpost - oh, i wrote him. he's andrew m. had a track on that comp too.

I forgot to download the comp. Ed was supposed to bring me a hard copy but he never actually came to DC.

how much would you have to be paid to sit through this?

http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/untraceable/

$54.47 an hour

+ 6% for my 401K

i couldn't even make it through the trailer

how bad is this book? http://www.amazon.com/War-Nerd-Gary-Brecher/dp/0979663687

Crude, scatological, un-P.C., yet deeply informed

drudge siren

, part angry humorist àla Bill Hicks, Brecher inveighs against pieties of all stripes

dear God that looks horrid.

To date all evidence for or against Brecher's existence as a real person remains circumstantial and unverifiable. The only non-eXile source of these details is an email interview with Brecher conducted by Steve Sailer and published by United Press International.[1] The image at the top of each War Nerd column supposedly representing Brecher is actually that of Roger Edvardsen of the Norwegian rhythm & blues band Ehem.[1]

how much would you have to be paid to sit through this?

I actually PAID for this. *sadface*

Does this front page image from the UK's most read newspaper change your perception of Britishes?

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/images/homepage/2303_jewel_header.jpg

who the fuck is that?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Jewell

Sports, Quitney.

have you shagged ariane yet?

how bad is this book?

no idea, presumably very

Does this front page image from the UK's most read newspaper change your perception of Britishes?

can't say it does guv

who the fuck is that?

The fat one what sends roddy down the john in Flushed Away innit

have you shagged ariane yet?

BAN

http://x.myspacecdn.com/modules/common/static/img/richtexteditor/images/crying.gif

tombot, where should i do my banking when i move to the US?

A Thread on American Banking Options That Don't Suck a Caribou's Ass

thanks tombot, i shall read

hey there fuckin' tombot-

whats your take on gentlemen's clubs?

Not my thing. I've not been inside one for almost a decade. Bleccch.

You rang?

Who?

Oh I get it

TOMBOT,

What do you have against some simple, honest trolling fun?

Curt1s

TOMBOT,

Never mind!

Curt1s

DAEREST TOMBOTOTRON,

You seem to have many important bits of wisdom to put forth in re: career options. These I respect, as you are the sort or experientially-informed late-20's sumbitch I've come to revere.

However, what of us who have no universally marketable technical skills, and have spent the past four years learning how to explain why Ridley Scott can't possibly compare to the likes of Buster Keaton? How shall we make our fortunes?

Plz. cite yr references.

Yours in Christ,

Some guy on the internet.

Nick,

You're drunk. Ask me again tomorrow.

hey what's dress code like where you work?

gr80 that is an excellent question!

YEAH!

LOL @ tom in a suit

untucked polo, chinos, doc martens, jeans on friday or sometimes just jeans whenever. my project manager who is a big black frat boy has been known to show up on fridays all clubbed up with the oversize rugby shirt and fashion jeans and matching shoes for the shirt and all that stuff.

several coworkers do stick to shirts and ties most of the time but that's because they have to interact on a regular basis with other poor schlubs who consistently dress for church at work.

also the jean jacket and fingerless gloves are pretty much permanent accessories because the HVAC in the room where I work is FREEZING. Other colleagues use fleece pullovers and a couple of the women use shawls but yeah that part kind of sucks

hey tom, the chiefs trading allen: smart or boneheaded?

the chiefs are rebuilding and the vikes want to be in the playoffs yesterday, so it makes sense for everyone involved. however I fully expect the chiefs to never actually get a whole lot better and the vikings to fall flat on their face because 1. herm lol 2. the nfc never makes any sense.

i think the vikings could be dangerous with a quarterback.

and a scheme

nah, playing in the nfc central ought to be enough.

also the jean jacket and fingerless gold lame gloves are pretty much permanent accessories because the HVAC in the room where I work is FREEZING hell yeah i'm the shit

hahahahaha

ysi? jan hammer jeff beck track from yr muxtape plz

Tombot-

How many Military Balls have you attended?
What is your opinion of Military Balls/ how would you sum up the Military Ball experience?
Any memorable stories that took place at a Military Ball?

-gr8080 (working an MP Ball tonite)

so?

tombot,

am i a jackass?

also

what is the best self-help book you've ever read?

do you ever get embarrassed when you jizz all over your shit? like computer security threads or gundam threads or military threads? or whatever "your shit" is?

i just put up like 50 posts on that "africentric school" thread and i feel sorta dumb.

your posts in that thread were really good!

ysi? jan hammer jeff beck track from yr muxtape plz

-- jhøshea, Saturday, May 3, 2008 10:25 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Link

Tom, what is that smallish used bookstore on the southwestish (?) side of Dupont Circle? They had a good film section 18 months ago.

second story books

thanks TOM

AND ANTIQUES