EMO BLOG ENTRY

EMO BLOG ENTRY ARGHH

^ posts to thread should follow this format

BLOG FULL OF EMO

Thought this would be a KBP thread.

Great thread (sorry).

think my cat is pregnut

should i check inside?

HALP I AN STUCK WITH FAMILY ON EASTER SUNDAY AND MY MOTHER WILL NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT BORING SHIT. YES I AM ALL EMO ABOUT THIS BECAUSE I WANT TO HANG MYSELF

A ghost,
Is all that's left,
Of everything we swore we never would forget.
We tried to bleed the sickness,
But we drained our hearts instead.
We are,
We are the dead.

hungover sunday morning self loathing n variously funny feelings in the chest about various females n sadface folk

arghh

Big Hoos and I have been chatting on AIM for months now

He tells me about his spanish homework
He signs up on 1p3.org and posts there
He rates my photos on flickr

But it turns out all this time he'd thought he'd added me "to get throbbing gristle album last summer and now it just says 'overseeratpyramidbuilders' and i'd forgotten which ilxor you were"

Hoosteen you duffah! You're like the anti-me, the guy who remembers NOTHING about people

i know dude u a bro i fucked up :(

dear emo blog-

i was going to lock this thread for being so retarded and gay but i'm too bummed out to even lock it.

gr8X8X

^^^ No. 1 reason why I'm a better mod than gradksi.

OTM

post title so srs

rly rly

http://www.savedogs.org/english/rescue_mission/detail.html?m_no=17

Blackie now has a permanent home.

awes

yall don't even know forreal tho its mad serious :(

http://www.troutball.com/twisted_fish_tales/weeping_sucker/Weeping_Sucker_Head_Only.jp.jpg

i found that doing a google image search for 'bored peeps.' friggin thing cracks me up.

lonely

emo blog entry

curtis just thing baout things

curtis just thinkin baout things

just thing baout thinkins

baout it baout it

8. Drink imported beer
9. Despair at their meaningless existence, forever single in a shitty overpriced flat

-- King Boy Pato, Monday, April 7, 2008 8:25 AM (6 days ago) Bookmark Link

Best anagrams for EMO BLOG ENTRY:

Bygone Molter
Bong Remotely
Be Mongrel Toy

Bong Remotely

ah memories

Shit, man.

Shit is rough as fuck, but goddamn if it ain't beautiful.

You know?

omg thats so deep

u should right a book

do u read chuck phalanuick? hes deep too like that

weekend of emo blog entries

lol fuck u mang :D xp

>:D

you're a rabbit? what?

Pic of cinder block corner about to hit noggin.

heh, no, they're supposed to be eyebrows. really big ones.

Where's the cigar?

how would you do that?

Probably like this:

http://img236.imageshack.us/img236/7342/imageuploadimageaq5.gif

oh well, yeah. but i like to be a smiley purist.

>8)/

Dude that's best I can do ASCII is somewhat limited in its ability to express communications often made thru tone and facial expression which is incidentally why written word of the humorous variety was invented but I suppose that is irrelevant on our interenets so whatevs.

aha, that's a good one!

emo and cigars, together at last

arg

care to elaborate?

i thought this was going to be about phil "pato" paterson's lj he just deleted because it was hella emo.

aHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhAH

that's what i'm sayin'

ANYWAYS NOT TO BLOG SUCH EMO SUFFERAGE

go make a emo about it

-- jhøshea, Wednesday, 9 April 2008 23:21 (1 month ago) Link

urgg

dskfljsdlfkjsddl;jfadsjflkjas js

but its ok tho straight up its cool cause she was smiling and thats whats important

EMO ;_; BLAG XOXO

PS: emotions!

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51PMMzTnpfL._SS500_.jpg

solo road trip to an old friend's wedding

seeing people from a former life, left to my own devices on the road + cd player = EMO TIME BITCHES

ps i am making this EMO BLOG ENTRY from the parking lot of some ramada on the side of the highway whose wireless i am stealing lol

pps i didn't pull over just for EMO BLOG ENTRY but i might as well have

damn son you're too young to be having friends getting married.

ha and this is my third wedding of the summer too

though to be fair the friends getting married today are both in their 30s

the other two weddings def young tho

im 27 and it's just Started Happening big time. brrrrrrr.

TRY ON LOG BEEM

TOM B GON LEERY

SORRY FOR EMO

BOOHOOOAAAAAH

emo hoos is emo

like so emo that i took the time to re-download an album that i purposefully threw away two years ago because i thought i was *past* the shit it represented for me

and no i will not tell you what album cause its mad embarassing

one sip of strong drink and i'm leanin

SO EMO RIGHT NOW. RARELY HAVE I FELT THIS EMO

XOXOXOXO eeeeemo

it's too cold where you are

Ain't got nothing to do with the cold. Has to do with something that happened to me.

I ain't just sittin' around bein' emo. Emo shit went down.

Sorry things are emo in yr area. This to shall pass.

or too, even.

:( i feel u dogg

you should read a book with some tea + likker tonight and then in the morning go run some errands and you will hit tomorrow afternoon feeling all productive and shit

it has worked in my case at least and i hope it will help u 2 :)

June 2nd, 2004|2:11 a.m.
no subject
i feel like dead weight. throw me in a lake and i'd sink.

m.o.o.d: tired
m.u.s.ic: Monachetti -- Further Seems Forever

Hey guys I am like teh agony aunt for emos so back pats YALL.

man has today been shite, thanks to all the ilx people who have been goodly humorous

ive listened to all three of these at least twice this week u___u
Promise Ring - Nothing Feels Good // Braid - Frame and Canvas // Get Up Kids - 4 Minute Mile //

whoops should be Promise Ring - Nothing Feels Good // Braid - Frame and Canvas // Get Up Kids - 4 Minute Mile //

feeling more slowcore than emo

i'm feeling lonely and worthless and i don't want to go to work

emo ;_;

man has today been shite, thanks to all the ilx people who have been goodly humorous

― ^likes brown, yellow, puerto rican, and haitian girls (The Reverend), Thursday, 8 January 2009 02:45 (10 hours ago) Bookmark

reads like effect and cause

i could be gettin' seriously emo within the next week or so depending on how things pan out

I am planning on getting seriously emo until late May or so. We'll see how that works.

fucking fuck fuck shit fuck

January is a pretty emo month tbh. April is too but like in the opposite way.

ILX did this.

yo LJ sorry that yr bummin but if you think losing 77 privs is gonna ruin your month then you prob have other issues dawg.

This isn't 77 privs, ddue.

http://www.darkfyreforge.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/05/04/ist2_1239117_scientist_shrug_on_gra.jpg

is it bout yr girl dude? :(

naw, hoos: ilx crew was helped me squeeze a few laughs out of an otherwise awful, terrible, no good, very bad day

i'll be needing that too at some point

who's gonna have the day from hell tomorrow, i wonder

not me man-- tomorrow's gonna be dope

AARRRGH THE EMONESS IS ALL-CONSUMING ;_;

:-/

ANYWAYS NOT TO BLOG SUCH EMO SUFFERAGE

http://icons.iconator.com/585/ICONATOR_7a63b0b94c39107c4a87e8cb2dfeca80.gif

I just thought to myself I'm glad I'm not on the chinanet with mandarin skills because with their gender ratio and massive amounts of internetness I bet their versions of blogspot gotta be HELLA emo all the live long gay rainy day

tom u gotta read some of them japanese cell phone novels they're basically novel length emo text messages its classic shit

alcohol is a depressant fyi

wow dude

thx

Honestly it's just some pendulum swing type of shit + the drink + inappropriately chosen music, adolescent shit really. I'll be fine come the sun. Everything passes.

i was in a non-emo place and now i am back in oxford

what up fam

lol

i r feeling a bit down :-/

Nevermind. Talk to a friend. Have another drink. Play some good music. Emo-b-gone.

feelin down for a while y'all

alternated with feelings of frogginess

surprise news of dead dad of friend of mine is making me o_O and more literally ;_:

mostly sad (bonus eno!) because this is, given my age, probably going to be par for the course for a while. fuuuuuuck.

shitty week imo

i hear that

EMO AND SELF-DIRECTED BILE

emo jam of the year so far imo - only those into indie emo need apply

http://rcrdlbl.com/2009/03/11/download_japandroids_young_hearts_spark_fire

My Savor The Death Angel
A Broken black heart and an angel of death.......
My broken heart weeps with the black tears of my soul.
My eyes see the unseen, but are blind to reality.
My throat clenches before I can sob or weep,
and my life is ruined in just a blink.

All this happens after I see that I really did not mean anything.
I was never in your heart or soul and I know all this when I see you in the hand of another.
It was as if time had stopped for that kiss seamed to last forever.
But then you moved back to get some air.
That’s when you saw me with silent tears.

Before you could utter a word, I dashed out the door away from my fears.
I was sad, ripped, and torn.
It was as if there in my heart lay a black thorn.

I ran and ran until I collapsed and then I just laid there pleading for death.
Then he came with black feathers and a broken heart like mine.
He knelt beside me and tried to help me even thought I said I was just fine.
He whispered dreams and lullabies

So I stopped trying to push him away
and in that instant I was glad that he stayed.

He is my death angel and my savor.

We are like a pair for he has half a heart and I have the other.

Together we restore each other and then after this I pray that maybe just maybe we will love forever.

http://www.zooschool.ecsd.net/Zoo%20Photos/owl%20monkey%20family.jpg

hah jordan i've been goin nuts for that song

fucking ennui ;_;

shitty week imo

― the styles are a lie (roxymuzak), Friday, February 27, 2009 10:48 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

so painfully antimotively accurate ILG

taking sides green day vs. blink-182

aw

bitchessssssssssssssssss

motherfuckerrrrrrrrrrrrrs

yo hoos go buy yourself a fifth of beam & a dimebag, it'll help dull the pain of human existence in the 21st century.

"REGISTER EMO.BLOG.ENTRY.BLOGSPOT.COM" CLICK YES

real close to EMO FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATE just now

hooray DISCRETION

thx ilx

Should I name this album I been workin on EMO BLOG ENTRY? I was thinking I would call it CRYINGINTHECLUB.JPG but can't decide which is more appropriate.

E.B.E.

Emoterrestrial BioLOLgical Entity

lb thank you for taking it there

i am having a very bad day

u know it's emo blog entry time when u look at a cat or a cow just chillin and youre like "yeah i'd trade lives"

motherfuckeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer

man i know this is short lived but tbh right now i feel like i will never need this thread again

its real dope

u just do a bump or what

omg u got w/ soundgarden chick

i would like to know more

had a dope ass weekend and things are cruising nice with the girl so i'm feelin real good basically

don't worry, that shit never lasts

I love HOOS but I've chosen DARKNESS

j/k hope that good feeling lasts all summer long if not longer

man i know this is short lived but tbh right now i feel like i will never need this thread again

reeding is fundamentl

EMO BLOG ENTRY PUNCHING DUDES AND BREAKING SHIT

<3 to u dogg

mad <3

Shit is rough as fuck, but goddamn if it ain't beautiful.

You know?

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, April 13, 2008 6:50 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark

I do.

emoemoemoemoemoemoemoemo. boo.

now that i'm over the initial wave of emo i'm glad things are the way they are, it's a lot easier getting over a girl when you get to watch her be a lovestruck dumbass over a talentless douchebag, it's like, you are fucking dumb, you like this guy, you like m night shyamalan's movies, i don't want to make babies with you anymore.

onions turn my eyeballs into cryballs #$#R%&^y%^^%$ EMO BLOG ENTRY

i hate life as it is rite now
so [censored]ing annoying and [censored]sful

don't worry, that shit never lasts

― 鬼の手 (Edward III), Wednesday, May 27, 2009 8:59 PM (3 weeks ago)

otm

my cat looks about as depressed as me atm

christ

what

get the car

feel like i'm approximately 16 what with sittin across from the girl i have a crush on in the cafeteria listening to emo and that particular realization is mad bittersweet

ah life

If she had any sense . . .

aw jeez
dear my family, why do you suck in such horrible yet predictable ways

history repeating

elmo bog entry

mad love to yall, supporting u

<3 <3 <3

I have the bluse in my sould
and I don't know where to go
The pain to much, can't control
all of these feeling I hold
I can't die I can't win
can't give up thats a sin
Would hold my head up
but I don't know where to go
Anymore

xxooxx

guys i rilly need to get laid.

dudes it will be cool, supporting y'all atm.

everyone ignores me

<3 <3 <3

affections and good thoughts to you, kit.

feelin' this thread

Hey guys I don't know if you're into dancehall at all but I have a theory that this song has endorphins coded into the notes and it always makes me feel real good so please listen to it if you're having a rough day and know that I'm sending you good thoughts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzOC46VIC-Y

thanks, hoos

thanks, hoos

what the fuck is wrong with me today

pretty much everything is going good in my life! i have no reason to feel like shit! and yet i do! what the fuck!

maybe if it because you sense the fall

its inevitability

its embrace

<3 chin up bro!

you could always hang out in a small room with a fog machine and drink a bunch of alcohol, and then you'll know perfectly why you feel like shit!

get some sleep, you'll feel better

^^^ so otm. hoos you really need to sort yr shit out in regards to getting a better routine of good sleep going on

usually when i feel like shit for no real reason, it's due to physical reasons; i.e. i need to eat something or get some sleep.

yeah i mean--i've started taking regular melatonin at night to get a full 8-9 hours and wake up around 10ish, but last night i was doing an editing test for a publishing job and was up working on it til 4. that + not being able to see my gf for days at a time due to conflicting schedules + knowing i have a lot more unpaid labor to do tomorrow + i read an article yesterday that kinda fucked up my day = urrrrrrrrrrrrgh.

Once a year or so I read something about the ~~inevitable collapse of civilization in this century~~ that leaves me fucked up for weeks. It's the end of August, I guess I was more than due by now.

But idk. The remedy for that kinda :/ is usually just time and gentle reminders to myself that humanity has done some amazing shit but the universe is so much vaster and more incredible than I can comprehend and it will persist long after me or anything else.

I've been told my 'remedies' tend to depress everybody else, though, so sorry everbody lol

lol the terrors of astronomy

the inevitable collapse of civilization is the one thing that keeps me going i dunno

haha caek do you ever just stare into space and weep or is that not your style

ty btw

I think I have the opposite response ... more depressed/shitty feeling at the relative lack of significance of my life, rather than the world is dying/feeling bad about society ... basically, you seem like an awesome person, and I'm lame and self-absorbed.

imo eat some chilaquiles, watch a good movie & fall asleep.

I mean like, this is really stupid and I'm sure if Tom was here he'd say something caustic and ultimately well-intentioned about how stupid it is, but I find it really kind of sad that in 200 years the people that are left might not remember T.S. Eliot because they'll be too busy trying to figure out how to survive the elements or something

sometimes i have these terrifying astronomy moments of clarity, but less so since i started the phd, which has made the whole thing mundane.

ARGHH EMO BLOG ENTRY ARGHH ARGHH ARGHH

everyone ignores me

<3 <3 <3 much love yall. we're here for you.

i've found that i've grown more and more girl crazy lately which i think is maybe a distraction from the crushing reality of my age and ultimate mortality

they say 27 is the year of the saturn return which may have some bearing on why the past couple of months have been awful and depressing; feeling overwhelmed; sucks to be the grown-up sometimes but what can you do? fuck.

sorry elmo :(

emo blog my resume is crap and trying to redo it is depressing me and i am angry about a lot of bum raps and i should stop being pitiful but i am sitting at this awful temp job and a;sldkgj emo

oh, mine too tehresa. i keep looking at job listings & feeling stupid and unqualified and i'd like to move out of dc, but can't afford it (and no longer have a car, it being utterly impractical to have one where i live now, but now i can't afford to get one either). also extra bummed out & exhausted because of insomnia which leads to being bummed out and exhausted. waaah, emo! XD

this summer has been like a tasting menu of all different varieties of family crises

ah family. one of my immediate family is perpetually in a state of crisis/everything is miserable, but only wants to complain and will not accept any help to change anything, it's exhausting. god help me if i turn out the same way.

I'm completely boring and can't even make conversation with my closest friends anymore. It's like my brain decided that being a useless anesthetized paperweight is preferable to being stressed out all the time.

ok i'm sure you're not completely boring. but being stressed out all the time is the worst!
http://leeinks.weei.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/090709_reche-150x150.jpg

sorry i have just rediscovered that wonderful picture and will be posting everywhere

all i ever do is to-do items

i'm shy and don't like meeting people so i hide behind my friends
people inevitably get the impression that i am rude/aloof but i'm just too shy to say hi

i get so overwhelmed with all the things that I maybe should be doing and whether it would be a mistake to do them, that I end up not doing much of anything

feelin that x

this is me at the moment. First mortgage repayment coming up, broke from having to buy some essential items (fridge, washing machine, crockery etc), gotta do a shitload of study, staring down the barrel of a redundancy so i'm sitting around drinxing beer tonight

emo blog entry:

my cat is missing, as detailed on the ILE thread. but i am so upset about it, it's unbelievable. And my roommate saw him less than 24 hours ago, so I'm probably just being paranoid, but I live in a big city (lol Brooklyn) and right near the highway at that. I just want him to be okay!!! I'm so preoccupied I'm pretty much useless at work--in fact, I left work to put up "MISSING CAT" signs and don't really feel like going back at all. my Ivan has been my constant companion through the hellish past few months of my life, and now I feel like I've let him down and he's skipped out on me.

I'm fairly certain that if he hopped the fence in the backyard, then he's stuck somewhere in the interior of the block--doesn't seem to be any real way to get to the street--buildings are all one one top of the other, and all the alleys are well-sealed off. otoh, if he jumped out the front window (very unlikely, as it looks out onto a busy road & he's scared of cars) then i have NO IDEA where he could have gone, and don't think he would know what to do out there in the big scary world.

Should I call the animal shelter and see if anyone has brought him in there? He's a healthy guy, aside from some mosquito bites on the ears. gah so upset and anxious.

no whining, no meowing, no nothin. i just call and call and call, and put food out for him, and call... ;_;

Aww ian I am very sorry for your stressful kitty situation. FWIW I have heard many similar stories and IN EVERY SINGLE CASE kitty has reappeared none the worse for the wear! Ivan will be A OK just hang in there while he has his little adventure.

Fuck his adventure I want snuggles.

i feel like the window of worry for escaped cats v dogs is much larger, i had a cat disappear for 4 full days once, just when i had given up on her there she was meowing at the back door like any other afternoon

that is so true, when i was a kid.. my cat disappeared for almost a week and i was freaking out & then she shows up in the backyard like usual. cats just do that. i'm sure he'll turn up ian!

Ian I had a cat named Ivan too. And look at you, you're practically your cat without the v. But if your Ivan is anything like mine was - and he has to be or else you wouldn't have named him that - then you know he's a tough cookie and he'll have had enough of Brooklyn after awhile and come back.

But I'm sorry about your cat, because a missing cat feels the same as having a fight with your best friend. Nothing's going to seem the same until he's back.

1p3 board moderator and ilx celebrity Roxymuzak has the best, most interesting missing cat stories. She's too busy to tell them, sorry. Maybe you'll get a paraphrased version.

Plus rx's cat stayed away for over a month once in a neighborhood where he could have gone anywhere and he came back so she could be all like, "TOADY!"

you guys i located him.
he was in the neighbors yard and started whining when i was shaking his bowl & calling for him. poor little bastard, i don't know why he did not come back sooner. I had to coax him under the fence & lift it up so he could get under.

: )

i'll be right back here next time he decides to play hooky of course.
right now he's alternating between gorging himself and laying on his side like a cool dude just loungin no big deal style.

hooray!

yay!!

aww i'm happy to hear this

yay welcome home, ivan!!!

btw little bastard had escaped from my room when i got home--he knocked out the cardboard box blocking the window (which looks into the hallway) and was back in the neighbors yard. luckily he was receptive to my calling and i could once again help him under the fence... better solution necessary.

YAY for ivan's <3warming return x

Oh so glad Ivan is back!

i am happy for ian's news, but i have to take this thread back to its roots:

emo. blog. entry.

been feeling like shit the last two days.

omg EMO BLOOOOG ENTRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!1

i just had a terrible infinitely shitty week and then a friday afternoon/evening that was beautiful and then a night that made me literally fantasize about stomping on a man's face.

wish i could go back to just after dinner and start over.

motherfucking phone company ...

So angry... so tired and frustrated and lonely and ANGRY. :( I want to kick a hole in my office partition.

feelin kinda sad today

god why do i have to feel like sucha loser sometimes when ALL I DO IS LOVE

(/:-(

im not crying yet... but if 2:30 rolls around and i still feel shitty im
busting out the tequila flask...

did u buy the wrong riesling?

lol no i was too broke to buy the riesling... damnit wouldve been useful right
now too.

have a bunch of xml code to edit.. don't wanna do it.. need the money..

bought a pair of shoes and they got shipped to the wrong apartment. went to the apartment upstairs where they were shipped, where someone signed for them despite it not being their name on the box, and this weird older lady who wouldn't open the door at first (i'm standing there like, OK, i KNOW you are on the other side of the door looking at me, you have my package and i would like it back please), then opens the door with the chain lock still attached, gives me this weird explanation like oh, i was going to send those back to ups, i'll do that tomorrow, i just saw your note, i didn't know whose they were, i'm sending them to ups to drop off with the resident manager, or something.. ???? i mean, she couldn't just give them to me? so freaking weird. how can it be the biggest goddamn headache to get a box of shoes from one floor to the next.

wtf that's crazy

well, what do you know. she just showed up at my door with the box. ok, i guess what happened is that she brought it to her work, to take to the ups drop-off place for returning it, and then saw the note afterward. phew.

i bet you after all this they won't even fit XD

maybe she's lurking and felt bad

maybe she's composing her own emo blog entry about the situation.

glad you got yr shoes tho

they are gorgeous, exactly what i wanted, cost $37 inc shipping because they were the last pair on major sale at the yoox (these things were probably about $350 retail), and are at least a half-size too small. dammit. maybe i can have them stretched enough..

this is the trivial of the trivial compared to all the other shit i should be worrying about starting with being unemployed, but.. i really like shoes

i need to get a new pair, and I hate shopping for shoes

i have the worst time because i wear size 10.5-11 which companies who actually make decent non-orthopedic-looking shoes either don't carry, or they sell out immediately. it's really trivial in the grand scheme of things. but it bums me out when all these women have the most adorable open-toed shoes on, all summer long & i feel like a giant scandinavian ogre, because in my size, they are really. not. cute.

i think the emo-ness in general here is that all summer long i sorta feel like life would be more fun if i were tan, 5'5", and wearing cute shoes. oh well, it's early fall now i guess.

i have wide feet - what my mom refers to as "greek peasant feet" - I generally buy mens' shoes.

the fuck is wrong with me. christ.

daria can we see pics of the shoes?

Do you mean you're tall, Daria? Isn't that a good thing?

What IS wrong with you, hoos? Why are you bummin'?

no good reason! i'm just all seasonal or w/e, waking up listless and hating everything when i have damn well plenty i should be appreciating

wtf was I thinking with all that posting about astrology crap!

yeah i'm almost 5'10". there is plenty of important things i should be complaining about starting with lolunemployed, i certainly do worry about it. would like to live in a cheaper city but can't afford to move.
http://lh3.ggpht.com/_2AjTLNzKq04/SqhfwXtl6gI/AAAAAAAAAfM/hVuQYO40quY/ndc-flats.jpg

there ARE plenty of things. one of which is that the interwebs is melting my brain, or at least rewiring it in a less articulate way.

daria as a fellow almost 5'10" gal with size 10 feet I feel yr pain. It sucks. :-(

5'10" is normal, right? And size ten feet? In women's? That's not very big.

But I'm sorry to hear that you don't have enough money to move!

And I'm sorry the internet is rewiring your brain. I know what that's like. And I'm sorry you're lolunemployed.

I hope you've got friends to talk to, though!

Bam 5'10" is pretty tall for a girl. Average lady height in the US is around 5'4". Also most shoe stores only carry up to a size 10 shoes for girls so that's considered pretty big too.

i like those shoes. i don't think i could wear them. :( i require more structure or my feet hurt. it's getting in the way of shoe shopping. OMG I CANT BUY SHOES </EMO>

oh, i end up wearing my new balance sneakers around the city (everyone in dc wears new balance shoes, everyone), i went to the store to get a pair & the women's didn't even have my size, so i had to get them from the men's section and was getting all emo about it. then i got all this life advice from new balance sales lady, who was like, you know everyone thinks their size is hard to find, and you're tall and that's the right size for you, and that's just how life is, and so on. it was so funny. she was cool.

green card was 'verbally approved' at the interview but hasn't arrived (47 days and counting), feeling worried that something has gone wrong somewhere

stressed about bank/financial crises back in NZ, bank is being an asshole gahhhh no one will email me back.

a letter from a law firm has arrived at my NZ address and my ma is still hung up on being rejected by me on facebook and won't get back to me about its contents so now i'm all paranoid (a law firm contacting me in the middle of green card stuff is not a good feeling)

HERES THE THING

WHEN MY GIRLFRIEND GOES TO SCHOOL ACROSS THE STREET FROM MY APARTMENT

AND WE LIVE 2 MILES APART

I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO FEEL LIKE I'M IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO GO A WEEK WITHOUT SEEING HER

GOD

FUCK

why does this happen?

because she goes to school from 8-4 and i work from 3-11

i just took a promotion on the condition that i'd be able to work mornings more frequently so that i could see her

but that hasn't happened and our little lunch date tomorrow will be the first time i've seen her since sunday

srsly just have her come to your place at 11, you can hang, sleep, and then she can walk to school.

^^ good idea!

the trouble with this theory is 77's favorite roommate, who gives me no end of hell when she's around, but i will indeed pitch this.

dude, i have lived through this (had to be at work at 8, had asshole roommate). you can do it.

could you go to her place after work, then drive her to school, then go home and do your business?

yr roomie is a douche. the hoos cannot be denied imo.

<3 <3 <3 <3

wtf is wrong with me...just found out i get to play an afterparty after os mutantes and mission of burma and all i can think about is a stupid girl jesus christ.

how do i shake this shit and not be an idiot anymore

DUDE you and me see eye to eye but im only thinking about a dude and hes sucha jerk

okay i wanted to see the shoes, but the image link is broken. gah.

xxpost You probably don't.

suckage.

I'm so lazy I wont even clean my room and change my bed sheets
I have back pains and leg pains from not moving enough
Yet somehow the idea of doing anything other than sitting/laying around just makes me feel sick

stimulant?

I'm so lazy I haven't smoked a cigarette today and it's 5:20 p.m.
Okay I'm gonna smoke. Later. But seriously, I need halp

you need help smoking cigarettes? That's pretty much most of what I did yesterday, when my legs were so sore from going to the gym the other day it hurt to stand.

hnggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

i have one day off next week

I'm sorry. Esp. about yr girl.

Trying to decide if I should take this to ILTMI instead, but here we go--

To be really real--I'm considering going on anti-depressants for the first time in years. The last three weeks, outside of a couple bright spots, have been kinda nightmarish. The slightest emotional provocation has me on the verge of tears. Despite all the really great things happening in my life all I want to do is sleep. Earlier today I called my mom so I could talk about how crappy my week has been (buying gas with quarters, working 9 days with no break, girl scheduling issues alluded to upthread etc, really nothing so awful) and she told me she'd "never heard (me) like this." I was choked up the whole time, and she insisted I make an appointment tomorrow to see a doctor to prescribe me something.

Going back on medication feels not a little like admitting defeat.

taking care of your mental health is hardly what i'd classify as 'defeat', hoos

if meds are the thing that will make yr life more bearable, there's no shame in that. what about counselling/therapy?

I don't know that I can afford it, tbh, and I honestly think this is more chemical than emotional. Like I said, my life feels really terrific right now and the cloud is really inexplicable. I get the sense I'm just dealing with some misfiring neurons.

good luck man. the fact that at this point you have this much perspective on what's going on is rad.

There are a few triggers involved here too--I haven't been exercising or meditating for the last few weeks, and I think the sudden drop in endorphins might have had a hand in this thing. That combined with the other stuff has had me all bleary-eyed at the drop of a hat. Earlier today, when I told my gf my shitty work schedule for next week, she said "We know how I feel about this stuff already so I'm not going to reiterate." Not even sounding upset at all.

And then I went into the bathroom and cried for ten minutes.

Like...not normal behavior iirc??

Have you been sleeping & eating enough?

hoos, i have a really horrible attitude about medication and myself based on some fucked up things in my childhood, but i will say this: if you think you might need to go back on, PLEASE go talk to someone about it and consider it. it is not defeat. alcoholics go to meetings when they start to feel tempted; it's normal that if you start to feel yourself falling back into old mindhabits that maybe you need a little help for a while. there is nothing wrong with admitting that, and don't think any less of yourself for it. but i can guarantee that making the effort and maybe sucking it up and doing something you thought you did not need to do anymore is probably going to be a lot better in the long run than what could happen to your work and personal relationships if you try to keep your pride about it.

Yeah, that crying is only normal if you're depressed. You can wean yourself off of medication after you and your situation improve. Make sure your doctor helps you make an informed choice if you go on something and monitor your progress closely.

HOOS i think you just need a good friend to make you laugh.

Ive been there so many times i should write a book on fucked up days.

all work and no play will make BIG HOOS go crazy

hondurian is not an accredited psychiatrist, nor does she hold an advanced degree in any of the medical sciences. she is simply an enthusiastic young woman with a sixth grade education and an abiding love for all of God’s creatures

:/

<3

Funny story btw

Somebody called in sick today

Guess where I am

BIG UP TWELVE HOUR DAY!!

BIG UP

oh that sucks hoos

Me and the girl had it out last night and eventually she assured me that unless things stay this way for months--and I won't let that happen--she's not gonna peace out on me. That was an awesome comfort. I pretty much already knew it was the case, but just to hear it from her was a big deal.

On the other hand, here I am.

oh, hoos.

shit sucks.

love yall.

<3
btw, what you described sounds like completely normal behavior? imho we often assume that there's something wrong with us for not managing to carry on like everything's fine, when it isn't. working incredibly long hours + not getting exercise + worrying about relationship + being low on money, might cause you to feel this way, which is a normal human reaction to a tough situation, isn't it? i mean look at what you told your mom about a really crappy week, & then a little bit later you say the cloud is inexplicable.. but it isn't, because you had a really crappy week.

i mean what we're taught about negative emotions is often, find a way to do something about it, but one of the things we don't do enough is step back and observe: no wonder i feel shitty, the environment i am in right now, objectively, is conducive to making a normal human being feel shitty.

well ive been on antidepressants and dont believe they are good for anyone. Its not really helping with learning how to cope with stressful shit. I mean, i jump on a pill to fuck with my chemical inbalance but my thought process and emo-ism is still there. I guess i just believe that positive thinking promotes positive energy. So i try to keep myself around positive people. I get fucking offended when someone tells me to go see a doctor when im depressed. its almost like they dont want to put in the energy, or dont care enough, in actually trying to find out why im upset and helping me out.

well ive been on antidepressants

and dont believe they are good for anyone.

really, i dont.

yeah, i've been on quite a few different kinds of them. i'm not saying don't go on them. probably a combination of those & changing thought patterns is most helpful. if only we had universal health care so the majority of people who need this treatment could actually fucking afford it

I definitely question the practice of people (not anyone here, just in general) leaping to ascribe diseases to themselves, as opposed to perceiving themselves in the normal range of dysfunctional behavior/habits, or considering external factors, like daria mentioned upthread. It seems like there's been this monumental increase in people saying they suffer from depression and asbergers syndrome, among others. I think it works to diminish the range of stuff that is considered normal. Normal comes to be synonymous with "perfectly well-adjusted."

On the other hand, I feel like I've posted this a gazillion times, but, for a lot of people (including myself) with severe depression it's almost impossible to change their thought patterns or methods of coping with life without medication. It's almost like one lives in an alternate reality, or some version of "They Live," and no one else can see the insidious evil creatures hiding behind the masks of pleasant humanity.

That's a good point about normalcy.

It's just jarring looking at contemporary perceptions of "normal" vs. how it was perceived historically. There were people that were just "melancholy" or "angry" and that was seen as a normal variant of human behavior.

This comes up with my classmates. I want to tell them, "Weird is relative." Or another classmate who was saying my teacher was freaky-deaky because she could see how relations start between high school or middle school teachers and their students. Then she realized she had the teacher and loved her and took it back.

your classmate used the phrase "freaky-deaky"?

freakazoidal

Yeah, she said freaky-deaky. Nice girl. A little old-fashioned.

My whole Theories of Literature either outright said or tacitly agreed that Young Goodman Brown was creepy, like, Internet stalker creepy or something.

And in creative writing they're fond of saying, "That's not relatable," by which they mean, "To me, that sounds completely outside the bounds of realistic human experience," or, at least, "That sounds outside the bounds of a normal human's experience."

maybe we a need a thread for dipshit comments made by bamcquern's classmates.

I'll stop, I'll stop.

No ... keep going. It could be cathartic, or at least provide us with lolz-worthy head-shaking moments.

Ugh. I'm sensitive today.

Oops. I meant to say

EMO BLOG ENTRY ARGHH

Is there a way of parsing bam's post about his/her classmate that is NOT "my classmate thought this teacher was a freak until she remembered that she'd slept with her"?

one of the first ilx threads I remember reading was the one about "Rong" things Hoos' music professor said in class. That one was great.

Yeah, that's a classic thread.

To hidere: She had said teacher in a college class of hers, liked the teacher and the class very much, and changed her mind about the teacher I was talking about since it was someone she realized she knew and trusted.

But wtf is up with "she had said teacher in a college class of hers"?

I think I meant, She had THE teacher

I think Dan read through the typo.

bah, I like my reading better

left the house just to buy a much craved diet coke and i lucked into a 44 ozer of diet coke, came home and spilled it all over the floor while putting futon cover on futon, apartment is on slight slant so all 44 oz came rushing toward the futon which sucked it up like a marshmallow while i made sounds like the singer of Refused did in the middle parts of songs in the late 90s period

bernard just gazed at it

while i made sounds like the singer of Refused did in the middle parts of songs in the late 90s period

lol on multiple levels

tbh i was aiming at lols from u <3

well hell

what's wrong big hoos??? ;_;

it's the weekend time to cut loose!

i may do just that!!!!!

my dive, unfortunately, is populated by festival-cruising dbags in town for the austin city limits festival

damn, now i realise that 'loose' and 'lose' would have been better than 'jews' and 'juice'

start a fight. xp

SO FRUSTRATED

AGHHH DATS A YELL

I NEED A VACATION LIKE STARTING YESTERDAY BTW.

did you find your cat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvEBHNxp8AU

STILL FRUSTRATED
MAYBE MORESO

yeah my cat turned up overnight, was in my bed this morning. he's such a little bastard, but i love him so much.

just overworked, not sleeping enuff, drinking & smoking too much.

Ugh do you ever have one of those days where you think back over something you did some time back, maybe even re-reading some old posts or emails from the people you affected with your shitty actions, and realise you were a complete and utter cunt and wonder how the hell you ever acted so stupidly and wtf were you thinking, and feel sick thinking about it?

Um.. yeah, that.

IOW 2007, I wish you never existed. >:|

2007 is a long time ago. too long to beat yourself up over stuff that happened then imo.

Yeah, you're right. And I dont usually regret things in my life or dwell on shit too much... and the person in question's completely forgiven me (which is staggeringly awesome) but it gets to me that I was so unthinking.

I worry over shit too much, dammit.

Sometimes when I do things that are obviously douchebaggy things to do, I feel bad afterwards, or regret doing it, or just feel ashamed for my behavior but imo the fact that you're able to recognize when you're acting like an asshole is an important characteristic and something to be valued. it just means yer not gonna act the same way in the future.

Yeah thats true too. Thanks ian!

:D Just tellin it like it is. as far as i can tell via the internets, you are not the kind of person who deserves to feel bad about mistakes that are at this point years in the past.

Thanks very kind of you to say. <3

gf leaves town today for a four day weekend at her parents

gonna be a real long weekend

ayo hoos, acl is the worst, why do austin ppl and austin sympahtizers big up it on the regular? i was there sunday, shit was gross (smelled like the zoo in a major way) and ps im neither a hippie nor a pig so mud parties in the sun dont thrill me tbh and the bands there were mostly mediocre or legitimately bad. soured me on the watching multiple bands with thousands of ppl experience 4 life.

i am sick with the aches and sneezing my eyes out of my head, i'm gonna blame that festering hole for being a public health hazard

worse than sxsw?

never been so no base of comparison

acl is smaller scale so i guess points for that, but i'm guessing it squeaks by in terms of shittiness on a per unit basis

ayo hoos, acl is the worst, why do austin ppl and austin sympahtizers big up it on the regular?

I think the weather & bands are the two biggest factors tbh. I didn't want to go this year cause nobody caught my eye (though I am trying real hard to score media badges to next month's Fun Fun Fun Fest), and the fact that it was miserable weather all weekend and Zilker turned into a mud pit solidified my sense that I'd made the right decision. I've been three times, though, and have enjoyed myself to no end when there was good sunshine & not too much sweat. It's gotten increasingly fratty over the years though (first year I went Al Green was Friday night headliner--this year DMB? Really??), and I've already decided I'm not going next year.

Fun Fun Fun is the shit imo. Only in its 4th year now, getting bigger but still only $75 for a two-day pass with 90 bands, and the park is like 1/3rd the size of Zilker.

Plus: November v. September! Weather here is always more dope round that time.

gf leaves town today for a four day weekend at her parents

gonna be a real long weekend

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, October 8, 2009 11:46 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark

so you guys didn't break up then?

sorry hoos but LOLLLLLL

u & me ain't talked since my text i guess :/

will aim u

xp yep

u have me in ur crosshairs

man aim u

frienda mine has repped for fun fun fun fest for yr reasons listed. anyway, wifey had bought tickets cos she wanted to see toadies (she was all "omg middle school!") and rodriguez. only reason i was excited in the 1st place was cos of sonic youth and they bailed :/, lesson learned. wasn't a total loss, we did eat at mother's like 100 times (twice) all eating pies and gentrified enchiladas, also kinda reminded us that we are probably destined to move there at some point.

i bet yer gentrified enchiladas are still way better than the average nyc enchiladas.

No results found for "gentrified enchiladas".

yeah they were def great, but artichoke enchiladas are totally something only austin gabachos would create

(i am white btw)

artichoke enchiladas??????

and they were good goddammit!!

hell yes they are, i'm gettin some next weekend

ugh. i feel completely awful. for no reason in particular. seriously i wish i could rewire my brain so this didn't happen.

i hear they make pills for that.

(all kidding aside, i feel you on that one. sometimes i just wake up and feel really crummy for no reason at all, just dark.)

indeed they do. i've tried more than a few kinds and they don't help though. it's kind of a trade-off.. either have a few bad days here and there & maybe bouncing off the walls on a few others, or being pretty flat and indifferent all of the time. at least that's how i perceive it.

drinking alone on a friday night is becoming a routine yall

idk i love getting drunk but

tbh it's better than drinking alone on a tuesday night???

so i got this cavity right.
and i was kinda ignoring it, cuz the pain went away for a while.
and i looked at my tooth the other day, and half of it seems to be missing. big black hollow in the tooth. so fucked.

also i don't have anyone to watch my cat & i'm afraid if i entrust him to my roommates he will not be there when i get back.

drinking alone on a friday night is becoming a routine yall

― it takes a nation of 51 to hold us back (J0rdan S.), Saturday, October 10, 2009 6:12 AM (15 hours ago)

i do this also. with the right anti-downer music and maybe some phone company it can be the opposite of a downer ime <3 dogg

oh hai

ugh seriously why can't my brain just work like that of a normal person. feel awful, can't make decisions. good grief. soooo tired of this

"normal person" is a myth iirc.
i suggest getting enough rest and eating properly. If you're having trouble making decisions and getting stuff done, I suggest making lists. pros & cons as well as the traditional "stuff to do" list. even a little more organization can make ya feel a lot better and take some of the pressure off.

clean your room too!!!!

having an organized office and room makes tackling other decisions so much easier

so true!

tbh, it's more about not having a job & being sick of this city & hating my apartment, but not having the money to move. i do get enough rest and eat properly & all that. idk, my friends around here aren't in this situation and calling them up to say 'oh hey i feel like a big loser right about now' is not something i know how to do, but that's kind of how i feel. sorry to go on, i guess i've tried acting like it's no big deal & that hasn't worked out so well.

having an organized office and room makes tackling other decisions so much easier

― fleetwood (max), Saturday, October 10, 2009 6:50 PM (42 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i have been staying on top of room/kithcen/laundry like 200x more than last year and it is doing wonders for my mental health

i'm sorry, daria. it's a shitty situation to be in, and worrying that you might make the wrong decision, or do or not do something you'll regret just compounds the crappy feelings when you're already feeling crappy.

i am hungry bc i ate my snax this morning and didn't realize i'd left my wallet in my gym bag at home and couldn't go get lunch gahhhhhhh
wahhhmbulance!!!!!

here, have a wahhhh-burger

plus an m

ive never posted here but i feel kinda like shit rite now!!

LYFE

hey deej i dont think this will make you feel better but there is a restaurant in elizabeth NJ called david drakes kitchen

actually i guess its in rahway

― i got nothin (deej)

u have a kitchen in nj

sad shit got heated

i am listening to depressing contemporary classical music and drinking alone. eh. i'm in one of those 'well, no one to answer to for an evening...so...uh....i'm going to buy lots of music and just sort of weird myself out by what i like.'

btw, Little Match Girl Passion by David Lang is FUCKING DEVASTATING. i mean it is killing me.

i have no job, i cannot sleep and my hip hurts for no reason. argh.

I'm begining to realise I'm more than just a little bit deaf in my right ear, shit's serious and kind of freaking me out and wtf am I gon' do :/

There are lots of ways, like hearing aids, to get your right ear stronger. It can be done!

Failing that, and speaking as someone deaf in one ear since birth, you can still lead a very happy and hearing-oriented existence with just one fully capable ear.

You'll be ok, one way or the other. :)

ear kegels

i once thought it was going deaf in one ear but it was just wax.

speaking for myself and in relation to the thread title i would real quick like to

~~sigh~~

HOOS, man, my heart goes out to you because you will never be able to hear that sigh in true stereophonic sound. tragic Brian Wilson shit imho.

Txting from psychiatrist's office. I have no health insurance. My most expensive medicine is a bit over $400 and it lasts 2 months. It is a mandatory med. I hope I get a job soon. Sometimes my moods hinder me from getting things done (I feel like I can't do anything some days but after a nap I can occasionally get something proactive in). Ilmers, my emo song for today is track #9 on the new califone. Listen and enjoy for happyness sake

sorry to hear that cap, keep ur chin up

that's awful. i mean, i know how it goes, they are wicked expensive. is there any kind of prescription assistance program that could make that more affordable? or buying from canada?

well I'm in the process of getting insurance

best wishes, and I hope you run into as little bureaucratic clusterfuck as possible. wish I could give you some real advice/encouragement, but I'm a dunce when it comes to insurance matters.

ear kegels

This made me lol.

aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

its my only fucking day off this week and i havent seen my girlfriend in a week and TWO PEOPLE CALL IN SICK WITH FUCKING SWINE FLU

and hey guess what with two people out GUESS WHO HAS TO WORK THE NEXT TWO NIGHT SHIFTS

aslkfj lasdfho; sdfj o;asjdflk asjdfo;i ajsdfkjjkq

hoos have you ever called in sick?

bro get swine flu it's not even that bad and you can miss work

i've called in sick like maybe three times ever

and i never take vacation time and when i come in sick my fucking boss says "MAKE SURE YOU DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS WE CANT AFFORD TO HAVE YOU OUT SICK"

I'M ALREADY SICK YOU FUCKING IDIOT

just a suggestion-- but maybe you should call in sick sometime

i would fuckin love to

i've been sick the last three days goin through whole boxes of tissues and last week i lied and told my boss i threw up to see if she'd immediately say "go home" as every other previous boss has done

NOPE

tried "i really think i need to go home, i don't want to get anybody else sick"

"JUST KEEP USING THE HAND SANITIZER AND DRINK LOTS OF GATORADE"

hoos, just say no.
go home.
get better.
the hotel will not burn to the ground.

seriously dude

if you throw up--you go home

hoos the hotel is more important that your health, happiness, sanity or relationship. you need to stay.

"what if someone utters a slur today? who will step up and throw them out?"
- BIG HOOS aka the steendriver's boss

you should have thrown up on your boss

but really dude, you give that place enough of your life. give em one of these bad boys

http://randazza.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/middle-finger.jpg

there is an easy way to solve this whole problem: do not answer your ph. ever. it's always worked for me.

"sorry, i would've come in, of course, but i only got your message just now"

<3 u hoos, but you teach ppl how to treat you, and you have taught yr bosses that you'll always be available. they need to unlearn this.

i keep trying to rationalize this

who the fuck am i trying to make excuses for my place of employment while the rest of my life suffers

what the fuck

<3 u hoos, but you teach ppl how to treat you, and you have taught yr bosses that you'll always be available. they need to unlearn this.

― DAN P3RRY MAD AT GRANDMA (just1n3), Wednesday, October 14, 2009 12:00 PM (56 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^this is hot fire

just talked to my mom who was like 'you really need to think about finding another job'

lmfao

did you already agree to go in?

of course. on the first fucking call. i'm gonna call them back and tell them the doc just told me i have the flu

<3 u hoos, but you teach ppl how to treat you, and you have taught yr bosses that you'll always be available. they need to unlearn this.

― DAN P3RRY MAD AT GRANDMA (just1n3), Wednesday, October 14, 2009 12:00 PM (56 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^this is hot fire

― whiney g. fieri (J0rdan S.), Wednesday, October 14, 2009 10:02 AM

be careful they might make you bring a note

nah. tell them the truth: 'this is my first day off in forever w/my gf. i'm spending it with her or i might get dumped'

tza otm

unless they are paying u a pretty massive salary, can't see how you are expected without question to just drop all plans at such short notice (like, RIDICULOUSLY short notice).

they're a fuckin huge hotel! they should have temps or something for this shit!

we're not huge. healthy staff for us is 10, right now we're at 5. with the two people who just called in that puts us at 3.

WE

sdfhja xldjkfal;skdjfaisudfjow4uxdkm

so can't they bring someone in to sub from another loc?

different companies, payment & paperwork would be nigh impossible

god my fuckin hands are shaking

all of that is besides the fact that they don't own u

well, i still think you should let THEM figure it out and stop worrying about letting down a company that continually takes advantage of you.

god i wish someone would fuckin hire me

my mom "you're really looking at administrative assistant positions an hour away?"

YES

sent my boss a text telling her i was sorry but that i couldn't make it in "i've been sick for a week and was gonna use today to recuperate and stay in bed i'm just a total fuckin mess right now"

she called me and gave me this complete reaming about how this was completely unacceptable and "i'm sorry if you're a mess right now and i don't know if its personal or what but we have NO ONE to work the pm shift right now so let me know if you can make it in or not and while you figure that out i'm gonna have to figure out how to cover the next 11 hours between the 2 people who've already been here since 7 and the person who's supposed to come in at 11"

god i kinda wanna punch her in the face

"i've been sick for a week and was gonna use today to recuperate and stay in bed i'm just a total fuckin mess right now"

that reads like something you send to a friend not an employer. whatever happened to just "i'm too sick to come in"?

but i guess this isn't an advice thread oops

otm tho, not exactly dripping with professionalism.

She tries real hard to dance on the friend/boss line. She pulled me into her office last Sunday to tell me that she noticed how ~down~ I'd been lately, that it wasn't affecting my interactions with clients at all so she wasn't coming at me as my "manager," just coming at me ~on a personal level~. Consequently

i'm sorry if you're a mess right now and i don't know if its personal or what

was the most insulting part of the exchange. Really?? You know that I'm having some mood issues in my life right now and you're gonna accuse me of faking being sick because I'm depressed? Really?? Fuck you

And yeah I recognize that it wasn't the most professional way to do that and I did that strategically because I thought hey maybe if I come at her on a personal level as she seems so fond of doing she'll get that this isn't a "me not wanting to come in to work" thing

see how well that played

speaking as someone who is the boss of people, this situation = "i am the boss and this is my problem so maybe i should just suck it up and find a way instead of gettin aggro on somebody for being unlucky enough to happen to be the most recent sick person" so really she should STFU and deal

sorry to interupt emobloggin, i realize that responding to her with "internet legend jjjusten says stfu lady" is not prob going to help

that might help actually

i'm putting in my notice on sat

enough in vacay time (never used any lol) to get me through to december

as long as im here:

if i misjudged the way the rest of the year is going to go economywise, i will probably not be able to pay myself until some time in february O_O

wow boss just texted me somebody's covering my shift

its like magic

hurrah!

of course this saps me of all my "i'm quitting" righteous indignation"

saturday morning i'll start a rolling thread to support hoos quitting his job today

also sorry jjusten ;__;

eh the dow is over 10K so basically its all hot fudge fountains and sex robots for everybody from here on out right

hoos you should still quit that job is dog ass

imo

dog ass hot fudge fountains

lol que

and yeah yall im still quitting

i'm not gonna play the justification game either, i'm just tellin em give me the vacay time u owe me and if they don't then i'll put in my notice instead. one or the other i plan to make "finding a job that pays at least $10/hr" my full time job til it happens

hoos the hotel is more important that your health, happiness, sanity or relationship. you need to stay.

― Bobby Wo (max), Wednesday, October 14, 2009 11:53 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark

uuuuuuuughhhh. was hoping vacation would be good for mental health, but not really working out that way.

going someplace vacation or staycation?

i'm in RI til friday morning. i haven't talked to my dad since i got home, and i bet he'll be pissed if i don't make an effort to see him, but tbh i don't feel like spending my afternoon with him tomorrow nor my evening. i am just kinda lonely and bored, too much time to myself almost.

whenever i come home i am reminded of what awaits me in life: meaningless suburban dwelling, incredible loneliness & alcoholism.

Only if you let it, dude! So dont let it happen!

everyone in my family seems to be pretty defeated by life tbh.
except my mom, who is really happy cuz she has a new boyfriend that she really likes.

awww ian I didn't know you were still here. too bad I'm tied up tonight + tomorrow. of course I'm all about meaningless suburban dwelling, incredible loneliness & alcoholism, so I don't know if my company woulda done you any good.

doesn't sound like you're in any mood to stick around, but chippendale's playing fri and white mice record release mon...

I'd love to see White Mice. Been at least a few years for me. But alas I must be back at work by Friday night.

Yeah, I should maybe have made more of an effort to see friends while here. Gonna see one or two peeps tomorrow night at least. Mostly just family family family. And worrying about my cat o_o

u got car access? take a drive somewhere random tomorrow--maybe it's just me but that always improves my mood.

no car during the day is part of the problem :( maybe i will borrow my aunt's wheels.

hey hoos

why don't you quit and just get a shitty hospo job at starbucks or something? i mean, sure, it's awful, but probably less awful than being the schmuck everyone pins shit on. the hours are probably more flexible, you'd make a killing in tips.

hey jjjusten

if only every small business owner had your attitude, my job would at least be more enjoyable.

my experience of RI, though i love the place, is that there is an awful lot of defeated-by-life feeling around there. new hampshire, maine, parts of massachusetts -> possibly worse?

i think it's going home. i dunno. for me, whenever i go home, i feel like a huge failure and i want to cry 94/7. i dunno why. i always look forward to it and then i feel terrible.

why don't you quit and just get a shitty hospo job at starbucks or something?

anybody that will pay me 10+/hr and 40 hrs a week i am taking v v seriously at this point

i think it's going home. i dunno. for me, whenever i go home, i feel like a huge failure and i want to cry 94/7. i dunno why. i always look forward to it and then i feel terrible.

― tehresa, Wednesday, October 14, 2009 11:42 PM (5 minutes ago)

^^^ this. last couple times i've been working on reminding myself not to look forward to it.

I get this too. I love and miss my fam heaps but my mother has this AMAZING nack of making me feel like shit and cry heaps

i think it's going home. i dunno. for me, whenever i go home, i feel like a huge failure and i want to cry 94/7. i dunno why. i always look forward to it and then i feel terrible.

felt like this when my brother and sis visited this weekend

i think my middle sister syndrome, which lies dormant 99% of the time, kicks into hyper mode. but also when my sisters aren't there and say, my parents come to visit... i dunno... i always end up tearing up over something!

HOOS, is there any chance that yr boss will say "what will it take to get you to stay?" Because if there is, it's a good idea to know the answer to that question before it comes up.

sittin here eatin pie listenin to g500 and wonderin what i got to offer this world tbh

you have pie to offer, sounds like

i eated it

HOOS you have my sympathy -- i'm basically in a funhouse mirror version of your sitch, where my office job has gotten progressively shittier and i'm just burning off all my saved PTO until my wife's maternity leave ends and i have to stay home with the kid. not really sure what i'm gonna do for $ after that besides freelancing, might take whatever shitty night job i can get. dig this -- on my first day back after the birth i got sat down and told it was "unaccetable" the way i called out in a way that did not exactly follow protocol while my wife was having fucking contractions.

er unacceptable -- if they said "unaccetable" then the quotes would be for a whole different reason

dont u work at an eye bank? imo u should steal the eyes when u leave

and sell them

whoa you work at an eye bank? i think i walked by one before and was like "WTF u can bank eyes????"

you can make bank, banking eyes

lol it makes u an eye-banker

get it

eye = i = investment

I got a flu shot last night and now I feel icky. And the weather is uber-shitty. Blech maybe I won't even go to ice skating tonight :(

whoa you work at an eye bank? i think i walked by one before and was like "WTF u can bank eyes????"

― steamed hams (harbl), Thursday, October 15, 2009 12:19 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

haha if this was on park ave. in mount vernon that is where i work

lol it was

HOOS, is there any chance that yr boss will say "what will it take to get you to stay?" Because if there is, it's a good idea to know the answer to that question before it comes up.

― WmC, Thursday, October 15, 2009 1:39 PM (7 hours ago)

I'm beyond being reasoned with, basically. They've finally started working with me on the schedule a little bit (before all those call-outs yesterday I was supposed to work 3 mornings this week out of my 6 days on), but it's total burnout and a long-standing pattern of being taken advantage of (and, yes, letting myself be taken advantage of) that's gotten me to where I am, getting called in for a 7th day in a row after not seeing my girl for a week was really just the breaking point. I snapped and did the math and realized I could make it, and told everybody, and people said they'd help out if I was struggling, and I was like holy shit why didn't I do this months ago

so yeah there's really nothing they can do or say

Ugh. Very bad night last night. Very sad. Relationship having wobbles. Feeling very down.

sorry mate :( it'll be ok, you've definitely gotten through much worse.

Ta Jim. Things arent wrecked, we just got some elephants in rooms discussed so to speak... hoping things will sort themselves out. Kind of relief mixed with worry tbh.

Also N is in hospital at the moment so trying not to worry about him too much as well (he's ok, he had surgery)

an empty glass,
that last cigarette,
it's closing time,
and I'm drunk again

but somehow I'll make it home,
and cry myself to sleep
that's how my day ends,
every night for me.

aside from the boozing and the smoking and the barhopping and the crying in bed, this old country song is MY MISERABLE LIFE down to the minutest detail.

oh unregistered

it's just early 20s Saturday afternoon quarterlife crisis existential blah blah blues, probably brought on by watching too little Spongebob this morning. think nothing of it.

I have been drinking tonight. Me and a friend watched True Romance. He went home afterwards. I had drank the equivalent of 6 beers. Anyways, now I'm tryin to find a friend who wants to go out. My friends are being difficult but I might be able to go out with the one guy who doesn't drink at all. That makes me wonder where the hell we can go and have fun. I just wish I could go drive somewhere and meet some friend of mine and just chill but it looks like the only guy I can hang out with is the guy who doesn't like to go anywhere fun (barwise etc..). SUCKS. I really need to fucking get my game on tonight. I am sooo in the mood after 5 beers. I just feel like nothing is going to happen and this saddens me.

ug I talked my designated driver friend to go out with me. granted I cant afford to drink a single beer tonight but this guy is an asshole in general. always judging me on anything possible. now he is going to be late picking me up. once we go out, I bet we will go somewhere and he will be his usual asshole self. But I really want to go out (egardless if I'm not going to be drinking. I'll let you all know how much of a dump he ends up being tonight.

he can't go out because his brother was drubk and he has to stay at home with him.. so I guess I'm stuck at home

i'm sick :-(

jdfdjkfcjknvjkcxnvjkcnvdfsc
feel like such utter & complete shit.

went to dr. spent $300. cant afford to get needed follow up. depresssssssssed

that is part of my depression at the moment. first dentist visit is gonna be $100 (at the fucking NYU dental school!!) and the follow up to get a crown is gonna be $600 :((((((

i feel ya bro.

i dont have a job & my one 'investment opportunity' 4 future capital is getting eaten up by dr. bills :-/

i don't have a job and i have like 2 friends and i am v v frustrated :(

move back to ny my friend has a room open at the end of the month $650 o-oooo

i will be yr friend.
i don't really have any friends either, co-workers aside.

i don't want to move back to ny (yet)
i really like it here!
i just don't know anyone :(

i just applied for a pt job way below me that i probably won't even get an interview for anyway.
sigh.

i don't have a job and i have like 2 friends and i am v v frustrated :(

― tehresa, Tuesday, October 20, 2009 5:44 PM (4 minutes ago)

^^ lol escapist moving adventure :(

not lolling at you, lolling with you

yeah i like the idea of possibility but uhhhhh i don't know what to do now

actually i am glad i moved but yeah now what

xp tza: hung out w/a friend of mine in her 40s yesterday who also works in arts admin, and had moved to the SF Bay Area during the recession of the early 90s, and she said she had about 20 job interviews with no luck before she got hired somewhere. Hang in there.

i have a feeling i will never be fully satisfied anywhere bc i am impatient and perfectionist and i am probably just making myself more miserable but damn it, i worked pretty hard and i just want a real job now please ok?! thanks!

aw t u sound like ari right now

& me, sort of

cept i am OLD and you guys are all young and in less debt and stuff

direct loans keeps emailing me about how i have to start paying them in december and i'm like uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i'm kinda like that too - having a small area in which i can do things the way i think they should be done keeps me sane.

meanwhile - my life is half over and all i have to show for it is a pretentious diploma and eye wrinkles

i got all that too

yeah, but you're younger than me! You've got more years left to accomplish stuff.

where u living again, tehresa?

seattle

cept i am OLD and you guys are all young and in less debt and stuff

― tehresa, Tuesday, October 20, 2009 4:57 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

real. talk.

god debt sucks

chinese marketing man salary is real dope in china and barely keeps my loan payments at min

i don't understand that sentence at all, hoos

life is long, my emos

it's written in cantonhoos

yeah i'm not that worried about debt tbh. gonna try and take advantage of recent loan forgiveness legislation iirc

velko otm

Results 1 - 1 of 1 for "what up my emos". (0.52 seconds)

i gotta get on top of my student loans like woah. i only went to school for two years! i should be able to pay these shits! but i get behind, and then it's like "uughhhhghgh,"

No results found for "what up my emus".

Results 1 - 1 of 1 for "what up my anus".

ew

sorry. u guys are on income based/income contingent right?

RIP my anus

― i yelled "BIG HOOS" but i was yelling at my steen (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Wednesday, July 1, 2009

i mean i can't decide what plan is right for u (+ watch out for interest) but i'm cruisin on income contingent atm

lol they just send me a bill and i send them about 1/3 to 1/2 what they ask for, depending on how broke i am at the time o_o

i don't have a job and i have like 2 friends and i am v v frustrated :(

― tehresa, Tuesday, October 20, 2009 5:44 PM (4 minutes ago)

^^ lol escapist moving adventure :(

― steamed hams (harbl), Tuesday, October 20, 2009 2:49 PM (51 minutes ago) Bookmark

otm on both fronts :/

ian! go on the website and change your payment plan! there's a calculator on it that tells you how the plans change the total amount owed too.

yes i suppose i ought to do this.
there is a lot of shit i have to figure out though.

like, uh, how to log in to the website. or uhh.. everything else?

you gotta know your PIN but there's some way of resetting it i think.

https://www.dl.ed.gov/borrower/BorrowerWelcomePage.jsp

oh yeah it's there on the left

oh, i logged into the citibank page cuz i got my loans thru them and am changing my plan as i type this.
thank you for your nudge in the right direction harbl.

okay tomorrow i am gonna get copies of my paychecks and apply for income-based repayment! :D

; )

u r so sexy when u wink like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol

damn look this thread is even bring ian and harbl 2gether in a romantic fashion

hey max keep it on the down low dude.

didnt mean to blow up ur spot dude

i dont think harbl even noticed

noticed what

;-)

wow u guys

RIP my anus

― i yelled "BIG HOOS" but i was yelling at my steen (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Wednesday, July 1, 2009

bein broke is really stressful and wearying

being broke, sick & having messy room -- im hitting the trifecta atm

yah im at the point where just getting one meal a day is stretching things - feelin really really shitty. and i no ive been an irritable jerk (lol moreso i guess) to a bunch of my friends and i never see them anyway because i have a tonne of work and im too broke to go out anyway and just unpleasant to be around. it just sucks

FUUUUUUCK

I'm listening to my DJ Set for the 100th time. It is very soothing to me and I would love to share it with the world (maybe someone out there would actually really really like it. that would make me happy)

I thought about going out tonight - but whenever I go out I feel like I'm in trouble when I come back home; so why go out at all. Yeah I would like to meet my friends at a bar while singing karaoke but I'd prefer to do it while drinking. And since I'm poor and I live with my parents and their word is that if they ever notice me having drank one beer then they will take away my car privileges, I just avoid going out all together. On the plus side I haven't gone out to buy cigs so I've haven't had a cig in a week.

"Stuart's staying in because he thinks it's a sin to ever leave the house at all".
But I really should go out :/

fuck

no details

suffice to say

just downed my sleeping pill w/the last of my warm malt liquor

fml

I ended up going out and singing "she blinded me with science" at the karaoke bar anyways. It was fun even though I didn't have the liquid energy that allows me to hit on girls

That was an awesome karaoke song I want to perfect it for another day :)
(meaning that I want to learn all the weird vocal grunts that don't make it to the karaoke screen)

my car is broken
my computer is broken
i just quit the thing i've been doing for the last 6 years

life and finances and relationships now in upheaval
\(o_O)/

u quit band or

!!!

waht!

gosh.

HOOS :(
*HUGGSZ*

grouchy

getting old

Quietly hoping I dont end up on the breakup thread some time in the next six months tbh

aww

well if you do, just know mandee and i are right here waiting for u

hahah <3

I dont know. Things are fine but I dont feel fine you know? Feeling really invis.

btw emo blog entry fyi

ancient Greeks believed that death and sleep were brothers.

you heard it here first, y'all!

nas said they were cousins, f that!

in ancient greece they were both iirc

oh, snap

that's fucked

"I hate myself and I want to nap"

lololol

Kind of rly want that on a tshirt now, haw.

daaaaaaaaaaaaaaag xxxp

Halloween : Thousands of miles away from friends :: Christmas : Thousands of miles away from family

after rejoicing that we got 'verbally' approved at our GC interview, we've now received a weird letter that basically says we're not. i might have to leave the US now :( :(

OMG WHAT!?

yeah... don't really know what's going on and pretty freaked out. whole process was going real smoothly (relatively speaking), interview was a breeze (woman told us we were basically approved within like 2mins), told we were approved but just waiting for name checks from NZ (which i know are fine bc i had a police clearance done before i left).

then we got this weird notice-of-approval for the original petition (USC spouse has to file a petition to get the ball rolling), out of nowhere, that states:
your petition has been approved but the person you are petitioning for is currently not eligible to adjust status (paraphrasing)

not sure how we got to the interview stage if i wasn't eligible to adjust

what!!!!!!! noooooo!!!!!! <3 good luck!

we are pretty godamn fucked if my app has been rejected tbh

i have a strong feeling this will just be some silly red tape bureaucratic miscommunication type thing. <3s your way, yall

the letter arrived a couple of weeks ago and that's what we kept telling ourselves but now we're getting more panicked by the day. GC was due by the end of september or earlier. need to make an infopass appt to speak to a human about this but am also scared to find out (crazy spazzy talk but i'm sort of in denial).

and USC suffered their worst defeat in forever so ytth is extra sad ;_;

i will harbor you if they come to deport you - washington is near canada. sayin.

will be stop on underground railroad

crossin my damn fingers but also knowing there is nothing to worry bout <3

<3 <3 <3

i am manifesting that when i get home from work tomorrow my goddamn GC will be in the mail box

on the plus side:
1. the longer my GC takes, the longer i have to only pay 9% taxes
2. haven't received a letter addressed to ME (the petition approval was my husband's) stating my app has been rejected

emo blog entry #2

thought i had maybe a new BFF in this town. turns out i was wrong. supposed to talk to my oldest BFF today but speakers/screen are broke on my husband's computer so no skype :( gonna go hang out with a priest from NZ instead.

awww hugs <3

justine!!! this'll all work out gangbusters, i know it.

metta!! <3 <3 <3

Justin3 - sweetie - this sounds really scary, but I can't see how it won't work out okay.