Ask An Australian

Muriel's Wedding because it established the lucrative "crap Australian ABBA tribute band" industry, earning billions for the nation.

Australians: if you could invent a new way for entertainment media to stereotype Australians, what would it be?

I like to see the old school bigoted drunk meshed with the office dickhead in a fucking Italian suit because it's the reality these days. Especially when they complain about lazy aboriginals and talk about the U2 concert they went to whilst having sushi for lunch.

Yeah drunk yuppies in King street getting into fights outside night clubs.

Oh wait I know: Italians and Greeks being horrible racist assholes about Lebanese and Arab people even though they're all 2nd generation themselves, jeez people.

Australians, do you secretly wish that Neil Finn was one of you?

racists and yuppies are not aussie phenonmenons.

Aussies: Crocodile Hunter or Crocodile Dundee?

such a loaded question.

but the answer is CD

Do koalas shag well?

Do you really say "G'Day Mate" to eachother?

I say "g'day" quite a bit actually.
And when I have to speak to someone (a dude) I don't know I think I almost always call them "mate".

I think Kiwis say g'day too?

I dont say g'day unless I'm taking the piss, but I'll say mate sometimes (usually when I'm shitty at someone ie "mate cut it out")

yeah, mate has become a really passive aggressive term. i like calling people "cobber". G'DAY COBS

Do you really kill innocent people in the outback for sport?

What is your favorite Australian beer? Do you hate Fosters?

innocent is such a relative term

Everyone claims to hate fosters. ive never had it so i dont know. ill drink the "ice" beers because im a vodka drinker and those are about all i could stand. when i was trying to be cool in school id drink VB - the REAL Oz beer (made by the same people as fosters btw)

A HARD EARNED THRIST NEEDS A BIG COLD BEER, PEOPLE!!!

http://www.world-discovery.de/Bilder/diary/Victoria%20Bitter%20-direkt%20nach%20Haake%20Beck!.jpg

Whan shagging koalas, does vegemite make a good lubricant?

I also luv VB. Even though they lowered the alcohol content by 0.1% or whatever.
I was in a bottle shop the other day and these two sweaty middle-aged builder types were looking at beers alongside me, they pondered teh new VB thusly: 'It's a fucking disgrace.' 'fucken oath.'

aww i kind of miss fuckin oath

nutella is better (xpost)

astrailians -

why is Adelaide a half hour behind Sydney? why not a whole hour?

i like how you said sydney.

waht does an australian look like? i mean in general there is some sort of look. i was waiting for the airtrain a few weeks ago and there was this couple standing there waiting too an i realized that i thought they were australian. not like i thought to myself oh i bet those are some australians right there. no. i had subconsciously labeled them australian. like w/o even thinking abt it. turns out they werent australians. but there must be some way australians looks like. im pretty sure there is.

i like how you said sydney.

-- sunny successor, Friday, August 24, 2007 9:48 AM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

?

not melbourne or brisbane (also on the east coast). screw those suckers.

when i say a guy looks australian its usually stumpy calves and long torso. some australian guys have REALLY long torsos. the women? large slightly wonky eyes, mean lips and plain faces.

i dont know my Aus geography from my Karachi geography. i just find it fascinating that two major cites could be a half hour apart instead of one hour.

or two or zero or whatever.

lol i dont even know if Adelaide is a "major city"

yaha ss i think they did pretty much look like that

wau

Adelaide has a WOMAD and I don't think Peter Gabriel would give it to some pissy little town, no sir.

Also, VB is nothing more than cat's piss for bogans. Coopers is the beer to drink, son.

An Australian has yet to answer my question.

Some states observe DST and some don't which makes it even more fucked up.

Still not an answer, but I'm no Australian either.

I wouldve thought because Adelaide's not all that far from the east coast rly? Like Perth is 3 hours behind us but Adelaide isnt 1/3 of the way along (which'd mae a 1 hour diff plausible)

PS I am talking out of my arse. I have no idea.

i had no idea there were any time zones on the planet half an hour off from any others before today.

Check out China for something really fucked up.

its just a measurement from the 180 degree mark, right? nepal has 1/4 hour time diffs.

so yeah, what trayce said

Central Standard Time (pretty much Adelaide and Darwin) is a retarded and woefully out-of-date system made about a million years ago for god knows what purpose of having us 30 minutes behind the East Coast.

We should have switched to EST a loooong time ago but everytime The Man tries to do that, a bunch of whiny farmers complain about having to get up at 7am or something and thus, we're held back by a bunch of toothless hicks.

Which only sort of answers your question, Gradski.

lol EB with the str8 answer.

thanks!

2. Pato:

Spanish slang used in Panama and other central american countries that defined a homosexual male.

Ese man es manso pato.
That man is very gay.

Yep King of the pato's mr King Boy

thats not a question

And not even Australian-related.

what the fuck

is john howard going to win this election? what happened to kim beazley? THX!!xoxoxox

No, because we have RUDDMANIA!! Kim Beazley was harpooned by Japanese whalers. No probs. XXOXOXOOXX

On teh news last night they were saying that it could be a Labor landslide at this stage.

And yes, non-Australians, that is how the Australian Labor Party spells Labor, ok?

Also they were saying in a poll that 85% of Labor voters feel that Rudd's strip club visit shows him to be a "normal aussie bloke" or some shit like that.

why does "Australian Labor Party" spell labour wrong?

From teh Wiks:

While it is standard practice in Australian English to spell the word labour with a u, the Party has spelt it without since Labor cabinet minister King O'Malley thought he would "modernise" the name;[6] at the time, it seemed likely that Australia would move to American spellings.

^that was in 1912.

that is how we spell labor in the USA.

Yep, hence the "Labor cabinet minister King O'Malley thought he would "modernise" the name;[6] at the time, it seemed likely that Australia would move to American spellings."

I know americans spell like that, but australians are our brothers in english spellings.

Maybe King O'Malley should've tried modernizing the name.

super karachi bros

touche xp.

I like that we had a minister called King O'Malley. He sounds like he should be Moomba king or some shit :D

How do I fill a three hour DJ set for 50-70 Australians ages 21-45?

dont make me start an ILM thread.

sorry, ages 27 to 45.

eagle rock!

?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bpSnA3CCoM

omg! what a great trip down memory lane. This is one of those songs you can't help breaking into a boppy jig whenever you hear it, it's so great! Very much a classic.

!!

this is awesome!

ysi?

I don't have it,

I'll try to find it for you

not on oink ;_;

I've got it queued in slsk. it may take a while tho

352nd in line :/

But the downloads are going fairly quickly.

Grads, the whole album (vinyl rip?) is here: http://ausrock.blogspot.com/

;-)

ok, eagle rock is still in the pipeline, but here is another OZ ROCK CLAASIC that i downloaded for u.

Most People I Know (Think That I'm Crazy) - Billy Thorpe & The Aztecs

The older dudes will dig especially.

KHE SAHN!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!

http://www.jeans4genes.com.au/images/useruploadedimages/92/barnes.jpg

Surely that road to the holy grail song

Also, is it just a Queensland thing that when Eagle Rock comes on you dack yourself?

If you play it, Grady (and if this shit finally downlaods), you'll have to let us kno.

EEAGLE RROCK:D

I will stop posting on this thread now.

Am I gonna see your face again?

No, no way, get fucked, fuck off.

Where can I get those BARNSEY jeans? I'd srsly wear them with a Central Districts jumper and a pack of Winny Blues around Elizabeth.

"don't change" by INXS!!!

"change in mood" by kids in the kitchen

also: everything in the PSEUDO ECHO THREAD FUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXORS

Note: you'll have to wait until everyone is drunk to play khe sahn so everyone can sing along with a tear in their eye even though they were probably born well after vietnam.

also: FARNZIE

oh i just remembered my mums sent pp a cd called "AUSTRALIAN LEGENDS" with a lot of these songs on it. Want me to ysi?

plz.

Also, these all seem like great suggestions so far and I'm very appreciative, but its not like an Aussie party or anything. It's just a club gig in a place that usually doesn't have a dj. And on this particular night there will be an abundance of Australians. So, non-aussie suggestions that might go over well is encouraged.

that age group? anything 80s.

;-)

Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd said: "Winning the right to host the 2018 Fifa World Cup is a Herculean task, but overcoming tough odds is what Australian football does best."

Australians, can you please provide me with some examples of these tough odds being overcome because I sure as fuck can't think of any.

here is one: when i tried out for macquarie university soccer it was january and i'd been in the country for four days. i was jetlagged and it was 36C. after ten minutes i threw up under the shade of a eucalyptus tree, but i still made the team. that is true grit.

admittedly i made the sixth team (of six), but i was their second best player!

getting an entire state obsessed with one of the most tedious sports in history is pretty tough odds

victoria and afl?

Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd said: "Winning the right to host the 2018 Fifa World Cup is a Herculean task, but overcoming tough odds is what Australian football does best."

Australians, can you please provide me with some examples of these tough odds being overcome because I sure as fuck can't think of any.

― Limoncello Carlin (The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics), Friday, 6 February 2009 01:29 (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Not starting a riot on Lygon street after this http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/world_cup_2006/4991534.stm

Also, is it just a Queensland thing that when Eagle Rock comes on you dack yourself?

― W4LTER, Thursday, 18 October 2007 04:40 (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

WFT?

Calling AFL tedious is pretty rich if you come from the US or UK/Europe.

xpost

or anywhere in the world pretty much.

except melbourne

who is a greater national hero, mel gibson or nicole kidman

Mel Gibson at least starred in Mad Max (1 & 2)

who is a greater national hero, esteban buttez or naomi watts

esteban by far

neither mel or nicole are australian

so wait are australians calling soccer "football" now or does he mean afl or rugby or something?

nor?

kevin's just a ponce

overcoming tough odds is what Australian football does best

Which sort of football, as SS just asked. If he means soccer then it makes sense: we never make it into the world cup, is the obvious one, so the one or 2 times we have everyone acts like we won the moon.

let's all win soccer on the moon hulahguahlaughhlaghualagh

overcoming tough odds is what Australian football does best

You'd think it was pretty unlikely that a football player could over play again following his partying with a biker days before the biker went on an amphetamine-fuelled rampage that culminated in a murder and two other people being shot wouldn't you?

Tough odds are:

- All major grounds are oval shaped. You can't see a fucking thing!
- "Soccer" is a "pooftah" game.
- Qatar's massive bid.
- Kosmina got the arse from Sydney FC which reduces A-League comedic incidents by about 350%.
- Australian Rules is a superior sport.
- It's just another excuses for the Serb and Croat communities to instigate urban warfare on each other.
- Townsville said they couldn't loan $10 to the bid after signing up Robbie Fowler for the NORTH QUEENSLAND FURY.
- There's still a few people in Sydney who insist that Rugby League is a sport.
- IT'S GOING TO BE FOURTY FUCKING DEGREES TOMORROW AT LEAST
- At least England will fuck it up somehow and won't win the bid.

we never make it into the world cup

We're leading our qualification pool! If we beat Japan next week, we're all but set for 2010.

Soccer doesn't exist, it's football.

assball

Y'all should play it in Chicago again. Great stuff.

Tough odds are:

- All major grounds are oval shaped. You can't see a fucking thing!
- "Soccer" is a "pooftah" game.
- Qatar's massive bid.
- Kosmina got the arse from Sydney FC which reduces A-League comedic incidents by about 350%.
- Australian Rules is a superior sport.
- It's just another excuses for the Serb and Croat communities to instigate urban warfare on each other.
- Townsville said they couldn't loan $10 to the bid after signing up Robbie Fowler for the NORTH QUEENSLAND FURY.
- There's still a few people in Sydney who insist that Rugby League is a sport.
- IT'S GOING TO BE FOURTY FUCKING DEGREES TOMORROW AT LEAST
- At least England will fuck it up somehow and won't win the bid.

― The Loneliness of the Middle Order Batsman (King Boy Pato), Friday, 6 February 2009 22:22 (1 year ago)

prescient

Hahaha.

when did u start saying "look!" b4 every sentence

(cld just be sportsmen)

2002

thx

ppl often say it when they're trying to be truthbomby iirc

who is the cutest australian

besides kbp

QGP

that bird from packed to the rafters

ppl often say it when they're trying to be truthbomby iirc

― yuoowemeone, Sunday, January 9, 2011

i got the impression it was like, "hey i'm gonna level with u here", kind of similar i guess

here we say it in that tone when we're mad exasperated with someone so it's kind of comically o_O to hear clarke say it 10 times to atherton, say

haha

sports use is down to media training i reckon - gives user time to formulate (bland) answer without sitting there saying nothing

that bird from packed to the rafters

thot they meant ilxors

well, really

http://www.atyp.org/images-index/zoe_ventoura_web.jpg

posts as "Princess TamTam" iirc

ME.

(oh come on)

based on my experience, maybe

haitch is pretty cute tho

*flutters eyelids*

*sulks*

http://www.posters.ws/images/846802/blondes_have_more_fun.jpg

i am pretty easy, has to be said

QGP

don't horn in on my racket, jim

was just keeping the theme. no cut lunch

Why is this on The Soup blog?? Do I need to come down there?

http://www.thesouptv.com/latest/if-you-re-sexy-and-you-know-it-film-your-dance/295333

No, because we have RUDDMANIA!! Kim Beazley was harpooned by Japanese whalers. No probs. XXOXOXOOXX

― King Boy Pato, Tuesday, August 28, 2007 7:24 AM (6 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

let's all win soccer on the moon hulahguahlaughhlaghualagh

― carbonara not glue (electricsound), Friday, February 6, 2009 3:09 PM (5 years ago)

when did u start saying "look!" b4 every sentence

― zvookster, Sunday, 9 January 2011 21:53 (5 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

(cld just be sportsmen)

― zvookster, Sunday, 9 January 2011 21:54 (5 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ppl often say it when they're trying to be truthbomby iirc

― yuoowemeone, Sunday, January 9, 2011

This Australian tonal usage is now pervasive throughout Irish sport, btw, presumably through the influence of your rugby coaches.

Incidentally there's a rough equivalent with English working class football people, where they'll suddenly say, "but no" and follow it with something serious, as if switching from a BANTER mode that often wasn't actually present.

Pollies do it too, a bit. "look the thing is, [insert massive load of bollox here]"

is courtney barnett very famous in australia

At least among the young/indie/JJJ crowd, yeah for sure.

My friend looks like her.

mine looks like Penn Gillette.

But seriously, how did Australia get away with not doing putting a supergroup together to fight hunger in the 80s? UK did. USA did. CANADA DID, WITH VERSES IN FRENCH EVEN.

You had the Peter Garrett, Colin Hay, the INXS dudes, Olivia Newton John... Could've called it "Southern Cross (To Bear)" or something like that.

Some curly-headed dude going balls out on the chorus, rest of the world goes Wow, who's that? And you all are, IT'S JIMMY BARNES, MATE. YOU'RE THE ONES WHO HAD STEVE PERRY AND BURTON CUMMINGS IN FRONT ON YOURS.

Hm... no, we did do one, I think. Wait here I'm gonna look it up. I think it involved the chantoozies or some horror. LOOK WHAT YOURE MAKING ME DO.

OK so we did a concert. No singles I can recall.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/OCyREBfnilA/maxresdefault.jpg

I dont ever recall watching Oz for Africa tho, it looked like balls.

A concert. May as well have done an ice bucket challenge too.

S-' friend really does look quite a lot like courtney barnett.

rest of the world goes Wow, who's that? And you all are, IT'S JIMMY BARNES, MATE.

ahahahaha!!

kinoath.

Can any fellow Australian interpret this for me? Maybe it's regional:

"whazzat mate? You want me to give you a fair go? There's no need to bung it on with me, you stunned mullet. Your pals left you like a shag on the rock. You managed to sneak by the doorman but I know a ring-in when I see one. Once I reach into my utility pouch it's all over for you. You've got me hopping mad now."

― Neanderthal, Saturday, March 26, 2016 12:12 PM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"What was that, good sir? Do you implore justice in my judgement? Sir, you are an imbecile and, as such, your buffoonery is quite transparent. Your friends left you complete alone. You may have initially fooled them into acceptance but I can detect a charlatan when I see one. Prepare for the end, good sir. It will come at the hands of an item in my gentleman's pouch. Possibly a tool of some sort. You have certainly vexed me. "

Chuzwozzer.

where should I go in Canberra to drink good local craft beer and whisky

Sydney.

My man knows of what he speaks.

http://i.imgur.com/i9TKtyq.jpg

Wig and Pen in the CBD (Civic) isn't too bad.

For beer anyway.

Be aware that the assholes in Canberra dont let you smoke anywhere you can drink, not even outside :(

Awesome, Wig & Pen is just around the corner from where I'll be holed up.

so how was it?

Flying out Saturday. Are there any kinds of American candy that Australians like and can't easily get a hold of?

Flying to the land of Tim Tams and Kinder Surprise, and you ask them if they want Reese's Pieces?

yeah, I don't know what I was thinking.

http://www.grubstreet.com/2014/06/piccolo-me-australia-nutella-iced-coffee.html

Yes, that's a glob of Nerd-spiked Nutella on a stick.

I mean if you get all the wonka stuff, sour patch kids and now all the haribo shit is available there, I'm basically out of options! Thank goodness for this now-defunct blog about candy in Australia (http://lollyaddict.blogspot.com/)

I used to be excited to get those spicy cinnamon bullet things when people visited from America, but I went to the US each of the last three years and didn't even think of them

You mean these things?

http://i.imgur.com/2QXSti3.jpg

America sure is known for some gross shit.

Who was the guy who used to call Tombot "Reese's Pieces" b/c El Tomboto = E.T.? What a trip.

Oh, maybe that's the solution. I could bring Atomic Fire Balls

Bring some northwestern beers and local artisanal doughnuts imo

Veg has an Australian friend visiting. She might have some good ideas.