dumbest mohawk dude being a jerk at the coffee shop can he get any worse?

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jesus

Poll Results

Option	Votes
i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby.	3
i will borrow a damn truck & go to home depot if i have to. that is how doable it is.	3
hey. dumbass. (trying to get the attention of his GF)	2
shut up. i am making shrimp cocktail.	2
burp excuse me.	2
that IS daddy's coffee. but it needs a little more sugar.	1
whats up? everything is up. what a stupid question.	1
fuck you, it is the only time i get to play with my nieces.	1
nobody knows my passcode.	0
my ex in alabama - my sons mother - why is she not on facebook and what not?	0
i told her to join. she is asking me what i am wanting to show her anyway	0
and i told her my dick.	0
i wouldnt really show it to her if she wanted me to.	0
even if i wanted to, i wouldn't.	0
yes, i am playing cafe world.	0
why won't you answer me anymore?	0
stop poking the bear in the cage ok? you are worse than a damn two year old.	0
if you call him right now i aint leavin. i am in the middle of a download.	0
if somebody sat down in 20 years they could not ever figure out my passcode	0
and i will never forget it no matter what cause i use it 6 times a day.	0
plus i need somethin to do while waiting on this stupid ass movie downloads.	0
oh SHIT!! oh, there you are. (GF mumbles 'what?') MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!	0
who wants to 'do it' in a garden?!?! stupid fuck. aaaaaah!	0
if you say a damn word i am gonna throw this laptop at ya.	0
you know there is no way you can stay out at the house tonight.	0
this is the last time i am gonna tell you. i have told you 6 times already.	0
sucks balls. actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down.	0

― best use of bacon grease (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 00:52 (sixteen years ago)

and i told her my dick.

― bapes n bapes (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 25 January 2010 00:55 (sixteen years ago)

i am just sitting here playing cafe world, baby.

― tehresa, Monday, 25 January 2010 00:55 (sixteen years ago)

he is still going but i knew it would just be way too much for one poll.

― best use of bacon grease (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 00:56 (sixteen years ago)

i am just sitting here playing cafe world, baby.

― tehresa, Sunday, January 24, 2010 7:55 PM (50 seconds ago) Bookmark

^this

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Monday, 25 January 2010 00:57 (sixteen years ago)

this fucking guy

― to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 00:57 (sixteen years ago)

btw, his GF has moved over to the couch and put on headphones/reading a graphic novel/ignoring him

― best use of bacon grease (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 00:58 (sixteen years ago)

this 'looks' like it could be 'fun'

http://www.zynga.com/images/games/gameBig_cafeworld.jpg

― bapes n bapes (Whiney G. Weingarten), Monday, 25 January 2010 00:59 (sixteen years ago)

i will borrow a damn truck & go to home depot if i have to. that is how doable it is.

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 00:59 (sixteen years ago)

he just said "dude i got no furniture. what am i gonna do? say 'hey man, pull up a piece of carpet and have a seat, guest'. i can't do that."

I think maybe he should quit his important download and go get a job!

― best use of bacon grease (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:01 (sixteen years ago)

'that is how doable it is' may be my fave

― best use of bacon grease (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:01 (sixteen years ago)

can you plz sneak a pic of this dude?

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:05 (sixteen years ago)

doing it now. give me five.

― best use of bacon grease (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:06 (sixteen years ago)

http://blog.beliefnet.com/freshliving/high5.jpg

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:06 (sixteen years ago)

yeah 'that's how doable it is' should be a stock phrase in a down-homey kinda sitcom

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:06 (sixteen years ago)

"I am in the middle of a download" is getting slept on ITT

― Lee Dorrian Gray (J0hn D.), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:15 (sixteen years ago)

*burp* excuse me.

― harbl, Monday, 25 January 2010 01:19 (sixteen years ago)

'even if i wanted to, i wouldn't'

self-control is so . . . sexy, dontuthink

― mookieproof, Monday, 25 January 2010 01:20 (sixteen years ago)

this is as good as i could get because it was so obvious what i was doing.

http://i46.tinypic.com/2nrivk0.jpg

l-r: redneck, xavier who showed up later, GF on the couch

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:26 (sixteen years ago)

at what stage does someone asking you how you are 'get technical' this is an urgent question imo

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:28 (sixteen years ago)

haha

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:28 (sixteen years ago)

at what stage does "sort of down" = "technical"?

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:29 (sixteen years ago)

this guy is the rainmaker of display names i feel, t getting in on the the action early

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:29 (sixteen years ago)

'sort of down' is about as technical as i get on the phone tbh- 'hey is this helpdesk my computer is sort of down fyi tbh'

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:31 (sixteen years ago)

tbh tho

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:31 (sixteen years ago)

his name is sam. and he just revealed what his important download was.

"in about two minutes, i will have wall-e!"

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:31 (sixteen years ago)

shit i haven't even seen wall-e

― mookieproof, Monday, 25 January 2010 01:33 (sixteen years ago)

overrated imo

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:33 (sixteen years ago)

dude fuck ppl using coffee shop wifi for lol hueg torrenting---that shit slows EVERYONE's connection down

― mage pit laceration (gbx), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:35 (sixteen years ago)

so he can get worse!

not only is he an ass. he is slowing me down!!

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:36 (sixteen years ago)

couldn't you fuck with this guy's shit by unplugging the router for a minute

― Lee Dorrian Gray (J0hn D.), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:36 (sixteen years ago)

omg
2 sec before end of dl!

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:37 (sixteen years ago)

though i don't imagine he's the type that likes to watch the credits so

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:37 (sixteen years ago)

"in about two minutes, i will have wall-e!

maybe he was about to say wall-eye and got interrupted tho?

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:38 (sixteen years ago)

some new good ones:

"i aint even allowed to go to Bar Knoxville tonight anyway on behalf of no i.d."

"shut up your mouth because you already knew i was irish"

"i went out with a chick that was just like michelle in the 1st American Pie movie."

"me being from alabama has not one thing to do with this. it is just randomized what nots."

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:40 (sixteen years ago)

on behalf of no id!!!

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:40 (sixteen years ago)

randomized what nots!!!

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:41 (sixteen years ago)

shit this guy needs to post here

― mookieproof, Monday, 25 January 2010 01:41 (sixteen years ago)

I am trying to get a good video clip.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:42 (sixteen years ago)

maybe he already does ;)

― mage pit laceration (gbx), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:42 (sixteen years ago)

nij are you working there or just documenting this for the sake of future generations

― mookieproof, Monday, 25 January 2010 01:43 (sixteen years ago)

at the coffee shop? i worked here years ago. Now i just come here b/c it is next door to my house and has great coffee.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:45 (sixteen years ago)

should *I* play cafe world on fb, y/n?

― more like Goldblapp (King Boy Pato), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:46 (sixteen years ago)

i think no.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:47 (sixteen years ago)

i don't drink coffee and therefore don't understand these things sorry ;_;

― mookieproof, Monday, 25 January 2010 01:48 (sixteen years ago)

so disappointed in u

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:50 (sixteen years ago)

"first time ever being at myrtle beach. young. dumb. i thought i was mr. badass who knew it all. tons of awesome hot chicks everywhere. i walked straight into a plexiglass window and knocked myself out."

this was said to me directly after he asked where i like to go for a drink:
"monday nights at shooters bar they have free pool. ask for bennie. you are a reasonably attractive woman so i think he will probably give you a free beer, too"

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:51 (sixteen years ago)

how long Lord must we wait for these vids & pics

― Lee Dorrian Gray (J0hn D.), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:51 (sixteen years ago)

omg you are making this up

xpost

― horseshoe, Monday, 25 January 2010 01:52 (sixteen years ago)

I put up one pic. I am trying to get another one. The vids are not clear enough to tell what he is saying.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:52 (sixteen years ago)

oh man, myrtle beach!
was it first week?
i hope he likes to go cruising down the strip.

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:53 (sixteen years ago)

no way

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:56 (sixteen years ago)

'you are a reasonably attractive woman' be still my beating heart

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 01:56 (sixteen years ago)

is he wearing a crazy zack's t-shirt

― mookieproof, Monday, 25 January 2010 01:58 (sixteen years ago)

"you are a reasonably attractive woman"

http://www.posters.ws/images/834293/rudolph_valentino.jpg

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:00 (sixteen years ago)

wait is the mohawk dude ~kenan~

― mage pit laceration (gbx), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:00 (sixteen years ago)

hahahahaaaaaa

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:01 (sixteen years ago)

I should be home by now but I feel like I can't leave until they do. I don't to miss anything. This place closes at 10, so we only have an hour left of these lols.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:01 (sixteen years ago)

wait is the mohawk dude ~kenan~

yessssss

― mookieproof, Monday, 25 January 2010 02:01 (sixteen years ago)

actual lols at that

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:02 (sixteen years ago)

"worst thing i have ever done was leaving my favorite hair brush at that motel."

"i am still only at 52% of last house on the left"

"my food is spoiled now probably on cafe world. thanks a lot."

i just got a picture of his face:
http://i47.tinypic.com/2aj9mht.jpg

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:12 (sixteen years ago)

in that photo, he is asking if i was taking pictures of his friend.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:12 (sixteen years ago)

lol my food is spoiled!

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:13 (sixteen years ago)

"worst thing i have ever done was leaving my favorite hair brush at that motel."

"i am still only at 52% of last house on the left"

"my food is spoiled now probably on cafe world. thanks a lot."

all 3 of these are instant classics

― Lee Dorrian Gray (J0hn D.), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:17 (sixteen years ago)

what did you tell him you were doing? "I just need a picture of you for the internet. It's a lol thing"

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:18 (sixteen years ago)

tza - I guess this does have merit as a culture study.

i honestly said i was taking a picture of the ceiling.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:19 (sixteen years ago)

wait is there a pony tail i can't see? which would make it Perfect

― mookieproof, Monday, 25 January 2010 02:19 (sixteen years ago)

no ponytail. i wish.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:20 (sixteen years ago)

"my entire outfit - $20"

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:20 (sixteen years ago)

http://www.carinacharms.com/dev/images/items/LiveStrongYellowBracelet.jpg

― mookieproof, Monday, 25 January 2010 02:20 (sixteen years ago)

is his friend winking at you?

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:22 (sixteen years ago)

eeew. i didn't even notice that! gross. maybe i should leave now.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:23 (sixteen years ago)

"why every time i say 'green car' do you have to make a joke about a green card?"

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:24 (sixteen years ago)

i honestly said i was taking a picture of the ceiling.

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:27 (sixteen years ago)

there is a really neat ceiling in here - it is painted like starry night.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:28 (sixteen years ago)

ok now we need a pic of the ceiling

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:30 (sixteen years ago)

here is my friend adam with the ceiling:

http://hphotos-snc3.fbcdn.net/hs235.snc3/22244_272199422213_661682213_4556734_39223_n.jpg

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:33 (sixteen years ago)

that is a cool ceiling.

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:34 (sixteen years ago)

"i am taking my bag with me in the car because i may not go home with ya'll. that way whatever happens happens or what not. we might hook up with people or something. i am very very particular about my shit. I don't know if you have realized this."

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:36 (sixteen years ago)

i kinda had a clue!

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:36 (sixteen years ago)

y'know at this stage it doesn't even matter if you're just making this up or w/e

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:37 (sixteen years ago)

"i told you a long damn time ago to help me get my i.d. lady"

"if you knew where your wallet was, it would just be misplaced. but it is lost. there is a difference."

"state law requires now that you are aware of your shit at all times."

"quit being up my sphincter over mike and betsy's pellet gun. they took that pellet gun. debate closed."

"they are eating up all the damn food. betsy is driving me crazy wanting something to eat and what not. right after she is done eating she is a fucking slob and won't clean up. the government won't let us kill them, so what do i do?"

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:39 (sixteen years ago)

why would i make this up? how could i make this up?

lol

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:40 (sixteen years ago)

now that they are discussing mike and betsy, i am about to die. the convo is now moving too fast to keep up. Xavier just said "is that the dude that wants to be called Cowboy? the guy that thinks he is a sport specialist?"

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:41 (sixteen years ago)

"state law requires now that you are aware of your shit at all times."

is this from somebody's standup routine

― Lee Dorrian Gray (J0hn D.), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:42 (sixteen years ago)

"if you knew where your wallet was, it would just be misplaced. but it is lost. there is a difference."

guy is a walking will ferrell riff

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:42 (sixteen years ago)

i am afraid they are about to leave.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:44 (sixteen years ago)

rip man we hardly knew u

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:45 (sixteen years ago)

"state law requires now that you are aware of your shit at all times."

this is awesome. Does this gentleman have a distinct accent?

― tube socks and a box of krispy kreme (los blue jeans), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:45 (sixteen years ago)

you and your sister are actually characters from a short story y/n

― mookieproof, Monday, 25 January 2010 02:45 (sixteen years ago)

dude seems like some kind of Ray Smuckles/Nice Pete mind-meld

― the end times are coming, but they're just the beginning (WmC), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:46 (sixteen years ago)

his accent is very southern asshole. redneck ugly southern that is high pitched and fast, not that pretty deep south slow talk.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:48 (sixteen years ago)

i know exactly what you are talking about which is pretty much how i've been hearing all this based on the thread title and the type of things he says.

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:50 (sixteen years ago)

yeah i mean i've been hearing this guy's accent since 'i will borrow a damn truck'

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:51 (sixteen years ago)

his parting words:

"man this girl is a real time waster. worse than my ex."

"i aint playin your games. meet me here. i get my stuff. you go your way. i go mine. no parker brothers involved."

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 02:58 (sixteen years ago)

no need to bring up my family

― mookieproof, Monday, 25 January 2010 03:00 (sixteen years ago)

omg best line ever

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 03:01 (sixteen years ago)

which one, tza?

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 03:02 (sixteen years ago)

"no parker brothers involved."

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 03:04 (sixteen years ago)

i feel lost since they left and i went back home.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 03:51 (sixteen years ago)

me too

― mookieproof, Monday, 25 January 2010 03:51 (sixteen years ago)

thread's gone to pieces without him

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 03:56 (sixteen years ago)

to get technical about it, i am sort of down without them.

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 03:57 (sixteen years ago)

oh, the memories.

"hey. dumbass. why won't you answer me anymore?"

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 04:02 (sixteen years ago)

hey hey you guys remember that time when he told her his dick?

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 04:03 (sixteen years ago)

that was classic!

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 04:06 (sixteen years ago)

*burp* excuse me

― mookieproof, Monday, 25 January 2010 04:08 (sixteen years ago)

fuck you, it is the only time i get to play with my nieces.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 04:11 (sixteen years ago)

HEY who wants to 'do it' in a garden?!?!

― mookieproof, Monday, 25 January 2010 04:12 (sixteen years ago)

depends on how doable 'it' is

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 04:15 (sixteen years ago)

pretty doable iirc

― mookieproof, Monday, 25 January 2010 04:16 (sixteen years ago)

i will borrow a damn truck & go to home depot if i have to. that is how doable it is. tbh

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 04:17 (sixteen years ago)

i am almost in tears from this thread. if only cell phone pics existed!!!!

― Joint Custody (ian), Monday, 25 January 2010 04:18 (sixteen years ago)

everything is up imo

― mookieproof, Monday, 25 January 2010 04:20 (sixteen years ago)

they do!
xp

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 04:21 (sixteen years ago)

p.s. what is a "randomized what not"

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 04:22 (sixteen years ago)

"is that the dude that wants to be called Cowboy? the guy that thinks he is a sport specialist?"

and

"my whole outfit - $2-"

these two lines never got enough glory, imo

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 04:29 (sixteen years ago)

ohshit teach a bro to read athread more closely

― Joint Custody (ian), Monday, 25 January 2010 04:56 (sixteen years ago)

someone should write an essay bemoaning the sad state of the "dumbest mohawk dude being a jerk at the coffee shop can he get any worse?" thread

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 04:58 (sixteen years ago)

LOL I saw this thread when nij started it and Ive only just come back to it AND IVE MISSED EVERYTHING ;_;

― millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Monday, 25 January 2010 06:10 (sixteen years ago)

i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby.

― won't you be my GAPDY / come and make it rain down on NME (Curt1s Stephens), Monday, 25 January 2010 06:12 (sixteen years ago)

omg! I posted some of this dialogue on my facebook page along with the guy's photo and someone just commented that this guy is back in the coffee shop today (right now!) and that he has been in there a lot lately. You know what this means? I can get more quotes! But sadly, I have to work all day. :(

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 15:05 (sixteen years ago)

Still, a great development.

― Fetchboy, Monday, 25 January 2010 15:44 (sixteen years ago)

i liked his breezy exit from our lives tbh. i'm afriad that if he keeps coming back trying to outdo himself he might only make an ass of himself.

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Monday, 25 January 2010 15:57 (sixteen years ago)

that IS daddy's coffee iirc

― weatheringdaleson, Monday, 25 January 2010 16:04 (sixteen years ago)

I don't think he would try to outdo himself. In his mind, his behavior is perfectly normal. And not broadcast on the internet for ilx pleasure.

Apparently, the coffee shop has had it with him and they are just waiting on a reason to give him the boot. I stopped in after work, but he was gone.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 21:04 (sixteen years ago)

if somebody sat down in 20 years they could not ever figure out my passcode

― manichean ramen (latebloomer), Monday, 25 January 2010 21:29 (sixteen years ago)

He is less exciting today. He is here alone so he has nobody to talk to. He is singing "time is on my side" to himself, tho.

Here is my friend Katherine standing next to him:

http://i49.tinypic.com/svgysw.jpg

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 22:52 (sixteen years ago)

His friends just came in. Same time as last night, tbh. Turns out they have a new apartment they just got today - all three of them!

"i filled it all out - all their papers and what not. then it comes about that they had filled all the efficiencies. so because of such, it turns out that they bumped me to a one bedroom for the same price."

"it has all new light switches and plug outlets."

"if i have to sit in the sink, it is important that i wash my ass today."

"and now to what you are all wondering. what to sleep on?"

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 23:35 (sixteen years ago)

"i know it ass but then what? how do you spell assassin? ass ass and then in?"

"how do you spell assassin? NO THAT IS WRONG. SHUT UP!"

"went to check my mail and there was a shit ton of stuff in there because i had not checked it in months. pulled out some handwritten card. i was like 'wait a minute!' thinking it looked like a christmas card and it might have money in it. it was some weird jesus card but it had enough cash to buy cigarettes, get some eggs and get a cup of coffee and now i am broke again."

"that was the whole deal with the Snus. I was quitting cigarettes. I will fucking put a knot in your head if you make fun of Snus again."

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 23:41 (sixteen years ago)

He is singing "time is on my side" to himself, tho.

it's because he knows that ino one in 20 years could not ever figure out his passcode

― randomized what nots (latebloomer), Monday, 25 January 2010 23:42 (sixteen years ago)

i think he knows what i am doing. i can't quit giggling at him. pretty pretty happy his pals showed up.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 23:43 (sixteen years ago)

"if i have to sit in the sink, it is important that i wash my ass today."

my new tattoo

― Lee Dorrian Gray (J0hn D.), Monday, 25 January 2010 23:45 (sixteen years ago)

"everything is clean. there is a shelf made at some point in time and numb nut had no clue what they were doing. i will have to fix that.

"On the patio i have wood trim going all the way around. if we can find some chicken wire we can keep pigeons and what not out of there. there is a can up there that is meant to keep pigeons from roosting. we can do it with chicken wire. everything can be easily fixed."

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 23:46 (sixteen years ago)

that's how, in a word, doable it is.

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 23:57 (sixteen years ago)

"i said now all we need to do is go back to the mission, steal blankets and stuff them in our backpacks and take that back to the apartment. i mean, must have at least a towel."

"i know the structure of biology and how all that works"

"i used to have an 8 and a half foot sweet ass garden tub. Man, that was so nice. You could dive into it. I remember that."

"i have become a cheese master. click to add milk! you plant clover. feed the cow. take the milk and put it in the cheese maker. or you can feed it to a rat but i don't know what the hell you would do that for."

"i waited three freakin' days for this apple tree to blossom and i only get one freakin' apple?"

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 25 January 2010 23:58 (sixteen years ago)

bunch of fun guys prove tubs aren't just for gardens anymore!

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Monday, 25 January 2010 23:59 (sixteen years ago)

"i made you a cookie but i ated it. no eated it. it says eated it. there are so many of these cats."

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 00:01 (sixteen years ago)

haha

― won't you be my GAPDY / come and make it rain down on NME (Curt1s Stephens), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 00:01 (sixteen years ago)

"i want a neon purple fucking shag rug to throw in the midst of the living room. i will have it.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 00:03 (sixteen years ago)

oh he definitely will

― ENERGY FOOD (en i see kay), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 00:04 (sixteen years ago)

"i could get a matching green one and have a joker motif"

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 00:04 (sixteen years ago)

dude is dreaming big

― won't you be my GAPDY / come and make it rain down on NME (Curt1s Stephens), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 00:18 (sixteen years ago)

"they have done this where you have to have the window open for it to do it's thing. it don't run hidden. you can't ever close cafe world."

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 00:32 (sixteen years ago)

lonely guy just thinkin baout cafe world

― Lee Dorrian Gray (J0hn D.), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 00:33 (sixteen years ago)

I wasn't aware that closing cafe world was ever a consideration for this guy.

― won't you be my GAPDY / come and make it rain down on NME (Curt1s Stephens), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 00:33 (sixteen years ago)

He has apparently roped Xavier into just sitting beside him watching the screen. Trying to get a picture of this.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 00:34 (sixteen years ago)

http://i50.tinypic.com/2a67eit.jpg

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 00:40 (sixteen years ago)

and what not

― mage pit laceration (gbx), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 00:47 (sixteen years ago)

my friend tommy from HS says "and what not" all the time, in a v v thick minnesotan accent. thought it was a strictly MWern thing tbh

― mage pit laceration (gbx), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 00:48 (sixteen years ago)

As my friend Kat and I were leaving the coffee shop tonight these dudes were standing outside smoking. Kat was getting her bike and he said "I used to ride a bike. I was really good at it. I could soak people with my super soaker from my bike. I was that good."

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 02:15 (sixteen years ago)

it was that doable

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 10:00 (sixteen years ago)

my high school (sc) friends lovvvved "and what not" but i always thought it was "and whatnot". "and what not" makes me think it should be padgett-themed or something.

― actually if you want to get technical about it i am sort of down. (tehresa), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 10:04 (sixteen years ago)

Was he as much of a jerk to his girlfriend the next night? Because other than that (and the cigarettes) he seems like a lovable doof.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Tuesday, 26 January 2010 10:52 (sixteen years ago)

my friend tommy from HS says "and what not" all the time, in a v v thick minnesotan accent. thought it was a strictly MWern thing tbh

long-lost French buddy wd end many sentences with "and whatnot-whatnot"
was supremely chilled and friendly on every occasion I met him but apparently had reputation for repeatedly going wild and crazy in the moshpit at the metal club and getting thrown out
lonely internetter just thinkin baout whatnots

this thread = A+ btw

― canna kirk (a passing spacecadet), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 11:18 (sixteen years ago)

request thread title change to 'can he get any better?' tbh

― Not even if your arse had nipples (darraghmac), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 11:30 (sixteen years ago)

Another thread that makes me wish there were an ilx hall of fame.

― the faggiest vampire (Jesse), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 14:40 (sixteen years ago)

I heard them tell the barista they would be back at noon today and I am working from home so I feel drawn like a magnet to that place.

Was he as much of a jerk to his girlfriend the next night? Because other than that (and the cigarettes) he seems like a lovable doof.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Tuesday, January 26, 2010

She was only with him for about ten minutes, so we didn't get to see his full array of rudeness for her. He was pretty chill last night, tbh. Just playing cafe world, baby.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Tuesday, 26 January 2010 15:02 (sixteen years ago)

This trio has become a permanent fixture at Java and the owners are very o.O about them always being around, but what can they do?

Today has awarded me these gems so far:

"Just chaps, dumbass. You don't have to say assless chaps. If they had an ass, they would be pants. Don't be a fucking idiot." <--- this are wise words, tbh

"I stayed with her through her pregnancy but then I had my own shit to do."

"Back it up. Back it UP! For starters - bad idea to mix Everclear and Aftershock. I don't play games with drinks. YOU SHOULDN'T EITHER"

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Thursday, 28 January 2010 16:38 (sixteen years ago)

this guy

― randomized what nots (latebloomer), Thursday, 28 January 2010 16:50 (sixteen years ago)

what's the point of not playing games with drinks

― genial anarchy (darraghmac), Thursday, 28 January 2010 16:52 (sixteen years ago)

OMG THE TITLE IS NOW SO APPROPRIATE. HE CAN GET WORSE. I actually felt like vomiting and crying when listening to this convo.

(on those who died in concentration camps):

"I have no remorse for those people. They had no real faith in their religion or they would have risen up and revolted and shit. They just let themselves die instead. Stupid."

"Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven."

"I mean, damn. Take a shower or something instead of just layin' there in the dirt."

"I had a family member die at Aushwitz. He fell of a guard tower."

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Thursday, 28 January 2010 16:57 (sixteen years ago)

okay no

― struck through in my prime (HI DERE), Thursday, 28 January 2010 16:59 (sixteen years ago)

pizza comment- i'm trying to link this to the auschwitz theme and just not getting it?

― genial anarchy (darraghmac), Thursday, 28 January 2010 17:06 (sixteen years ago)

Jews were put into ovens in concentration camps

― struck through in my prime (HI DERE), Thursday, 28 January 2010 17:07 (sixteen years ago)

(although I did think they were already dead by that point? regardless, I think the important point here is that this guy is a major tool)

― struck through in my prime (HI DERE), Thursday, 28 January 2010 17:08 (sixteen years ago)

yeah i know the ovens, i just don't get the 'pizza' reference in any way shape or form.

guy jumped the shark here though.

― genial anarchy (darraghmac), Thursday, 28 January 2010 17:11 (sixteen years ago)

ah ok just worked backwards, its a 'what's the difference' joke. niiice.

― genial anarchy (darraghmac), Thursday, 28 January 2010 17:11 (sixteen years ago)

dumbest dude on the dumbest mohawk dude being a jerk at the coffee shop thread

― that sex version of "blue thunder." (Mr. Que), Thursday, 28 January 2010 17:14 (sixteen years ago)

"I had a family member die at Aushwitz. He fell of a guard tower."
"I had a family member die at Aushwitz. He fell of a guard tower."
"I had a family member die at Aushwitz. He fell of a guard tower."
"I had a family member die at Aushwitz. He fell of a guard tower."
"I had a family member die at Aushwitz. He fell of a guard tower."

― his power told him (about the fish) (gbx), Thursday, 28 January 2010 17:18 (sixteen years ago)

^^^ like i can't tell if that's just snarky 'oooh if we're being naughty i may as well make a joke about how i'm RELATED to Nazis' or if the guy actually had a nazi guard relative

― his power told him (about the fish) (gbx), Thursday, 28 January 2010 17:19 (sixteen years ago)

the rest of the exchange is despicable, of course, but that line out of context is actually kinda funny, in a vvv dark way. almost seems lifted from something.

― his power told him (about the fish) (gbx), Thursday, 28 January 2010 17:20 (sixteen years ago)

it being a punchline would be in line with the rest of it.

― genial anarchy (darraghmac), Thursday, 28 January 2010 17:21 (sixteen years ago)

its an old (bad) joke, isn't it? trying to think where i've heard it before.

― ALIAS: Pete Townshend (stevie), Thursday, 28 January 2010 17:21 (sixteen years ago)

lol @ me, I thought that was continuing the "railing against passivity" theme and that he had a Jewish ancestor who tried to storm a tower

I am finally at the age where I get really happy when I display stupid flashes of naivete because it means I'm not a total cynical bastard

― struck through in my prime (HI DERE), Thursday, 28 January 2010 17:33 (sixteen years ago)

ignorance of the game isn't a winning strategy mr perry ur off the team

― genial anarchy (darraghmac), Thursday, 28 January 2010 17:36 (sixteen years ago)

pretty sure bernard manning used to tell this one iirc actually

― ALIAS: Pete Townshend (stevie), Thursday, 28 January 2010 17:37 (sixteen years ago)

I want to slug him.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Thursday, 28 January 2010 17:38 (sixteen years ago)

suggest banned from coffee shop

― djembe jivin’ sidekick (Curt1s Stephens), Thursday, 28 January 2010 18:09 (sixteen years ago)

Actually, my first reaction to reading Nijoli's post was to cast my eyes furiously about the screen for the appropriate button.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Thursday, 28 January 2010 18:10 (sixteen years ago)

I wonder if he knows he's being noted down now so he's saying challop shit for lulz?

― millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Friday, 29 January 2010 05:16 (sixteen years ago)

This guy is not that smart, Trayce.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Friday, 29 January 2010 05:17 (sixteen years ago)

Darn.

― millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Friday, 29 January 2010 05:57 (sixteen years ago)

half-expecting him to say something about not being able to turn his face into a heart

― latebloomer, Friday, 29 January 2010 09:14 (sixteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― System, Sunday, 31 January 2010 00:01 (sixteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― System, Monday, 1 February 2010 00:01 (fifteen years ago)

aw. i am really glad "cafe world, baby" won.

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 1 February 2010 02:07 (fifteen years ago)

i think there needs to be a runoff poll

― tehresa, Monday, 1 February 2010 02:08 (fifteen years ago)

"I told her my dick" wz robbed.

― millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Monday, 1 February 2010 02:14 (fifteen years ago)

"I told her my dick" wz robbed <--- new user name?

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 1 February 2010 02:17 (fifteen years ago)

Bwahaa =)

― millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Monday, 1 February 2010 03:20 (fifteen years ago)

http://i50.tinypic.com/wakeoz.jpg

― tube socks and a box of krispy kreme (los blue jeans), Monday, 1 February 2010 06:06 (fifteen years ago)

He just walked in with his dumb friend Xavier.

"i commenced to dry shaving because your razors suck. no water.no nothing. better than that shit you had."

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 1 February 2010 22:57 (fifteen years ago)

he really is a negative nelly.

― tehresa, Monday, 1 February 2010 23:00 (fifteen years ago)

oh my god. he is playing cafe world STILL.

"i am just waiting on these tomatoes. done everything else i have to do today."

― i am just sitting here playing cafe world baby (Nijoli), Monday, 1 February 2010 23:08 (fifteen years ago)

seven months pass...

whats up? everything is up. what a stupid question.

sorry for the revives but i haven't seen these before these rule man

― dude (del), Thursday, 30 September 2010 23:01 (fifteen years ago)

one year passes...

fuckin' cafe world

― how's life, Monday, 30 July 2012 19:40 (thirteen years ago)

"if somebody sat down in 20 years they could not ever figure out my passcode"

ok i somehow never saw the bump with the holocaust jokes. omg

― the most astonishing writer on ilx (roxymuzak), Friday, 3 August 2012 01:04 (thirteen years ago)

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