teen lyfe

for the next month, i have a teenager living in my house.
i would like to catalog what this involves

• plastic recycling is 90% powerade bottles
• cardboard recycling is 100% pizza boxes

aluminum recycling is 90% fourloko cans?

sorry, this is not my thread. i will fuck right off.

is this teenager male or female?

he is male. aluminum recycling has quite a few 4 loko and joose cans tbh.

this is going to be educational and important.

bookmarking

fapping? pizza, soda, top 40 music, moar stereotypes about teenagers. "TEEEEEN-AGE-UHS. you give 'em an inch and they SWIM ALL OVER YOU" - Sebastian, The Little Mermaid.

wait, how old are we talking here? this makes an important difference.

* plastic recycling is 90% powerade bottles
* cardboard recycling is 100% pizza boxes

― (♥_♥) http://i46.tinypic.com/monk6.jpg (roxymuzak), Friday, November 12, 2010 12:59 PM (5 hours ago) [IP: 68.34.216.83] Bookmark

otm

13 yr old shd not be on the loko

he is 18

*- thinks communal living means throwing bottle caps on the floor and stealing my candles
*- took 2 days off of work to play something called "black ops"

can you send him back?

he's being sent back in about 20 days

well, hide the candles till then

its that kinda thing

* teen: some stuff on the food network is cool. that ace of cakes show. they make cool cakes. they made a uh...an uh...exorcist cake and they made her head spin around and puke.
his friend: those cakes better taste good too man
teen: im sure its good dude. they use a lot of marzipan and stuff.
friend: marzipan doesnt taste good.
teen: unless that stuff isnt edible, cause it looks good.

typing as it happens. they are getting baked in the living room.

why is this kid with you?

he is a roommate of my BF's, i just moved in with my BF
we are waiting for him to move downstairs

so this teenager is yr boyfriend huh

shit, in his dreams

ew i would never date someone who shits the bed #nojudgements

• ass crack is ALWAYS out
• puts blue powerade in a nalgene
• yells "fuck" as loud as can be at video games

haha sorry, sorry

wow

lol

some backstory: this guy moved in while my BF and i were on tour for a month, so he had a month to get all comfy in the place w/out a reasonable influence around. when we got back, my BF was freaking out. "a ween poster? seriously? a reservoir dogs poster? i am a 27 year old man", ripping said posters off the wall and immediately cleansing the entire premises. there was trash EVERYWHERE, all over the floor, etc. BF broke it to the teen in mid-Oct that he should check out a new apartment 'cause he wants to live with me and the apt isn't big (read: clean) enough for that to happen. simultaneously, our downstairs neighbor (we live in an enormous "punk house" that used to be a convenience/grocery store, before that a motel. its big and weird) went nuts and we had her taken to the hospital (see "what is happening to our borad" for a more detailed account). her (ex?)boyfriend needs a new roommate so we're all like, oh great, solved everyone's issues at once. so right now, we're "toughing out" the awkward in-between period

nb: my BF has lived in the apartment for 2 years

• friends come over a lot
• friends include: 1. a girl who thinks she lives @ our house and bugs everyone in every apartment, has a dog and just kinda lets him pee anywhere and everywhere, lets call her Barbara. 2. EG, teen's BFF since 1st grade, he is my favorite and i never really mind him coming over. likes to get baked and listen to kind crimson. he was the straight man in the conversation posted above 3. a guy who looks a lot like sideshow bob, by far the worst of the friends. plugs into my little practice amp and just starts playing slap bass at all times, even when people are watching a movie. very aspie way of moving around, likes to quote monty python. i hate him. 4. bike repair guy david, he's ok, but dates barbara :/

• nb: they all think bottle caps go on the ground (except EG)

"a ween poster? seriously? a reservoir dogs poster? i am a 27 year old man"

otm

• i moved my furniture into the living room and arranged it in a normal way. the living room is pretty big. he had it so that the couch was right up against the tv and all the chairs were kinda lined up behind it. i spread everything out, and he was like, "how will i see black ops"???? and i said "i don't know, get a bean bag?"

• posters to date: peelander-z, v for vendetta (really???), reservoir dogs, nosferatu, a computer print-out that says "destruction of the civilized world", einstein on a bike (?), the clash - london calling, ween, a clockwork orange, an m.c. escher print

i can relate to slap bass anecdote big time, used to be in a band with a guy who transcribed & learnt a bunch of flea and primus solos. feel like slap bass is a p fitting symbol & microcosm for the downfall of my generation

• put a passive aggressive note on my record player that says "no weather report!!! this turntable will self destruct :)"

• the teen said of his friend david: "he hates everything good! he hates RUSH, he hates MAGIC CARDS, he hates..." cant make this up

xp to be clear, *I* put the weather report note on the turntable

ps there are magic cards all over the fuckin crib

• barbara is here

he was like, "how will i see black ops"???? and i said "i don't know, get a bean bag?"

― (♥_♥) http://i46.tinypic.com/monk6.jpg (roxymuzak), Monday, November 15, 2010 3:36 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

feel like neither of you even knew what the other was talking abt

we didnt

we talked it out

he hates RUSH, he hates MAGIC CARDS

lol

i died over that. the kid can be lovable tbf

roxy if u can't listen to weather report, the first joe zawinul solo alb is great (or the s/t one not sure if it's first) is great and better than any weather report alb i've heard, and it wouldn't violate the rules.

uh, HE cant listen to weather report. the turntable is mine. weather report are the worst crap on earth.

the idea that a child with 15 more days in the apartment can make "rules" is lol though

my respect for weather report went up a tiny bit when I found out that Jaco ate a bucket of fried chicken before every performance because he liked his fingers to be super greasy when playing fretless

i fucking hate jaco but i did invent a dish called tacos pastorius

what goes into a taco pastoriu????

regular tacos +4 kinds of shredded cheese, plus a cheese sauce drizzled over top

haha oops! zawinul record is good regardless, more like "in a silent way"

hate jaco's tone

but maybe there are "cool early" weather report record, they seem like that kinda band

lol bassists

• home now, smoking a peach blunt and listening to fucking rush

cmon working man = \m/

yall

this is in my own home on my own record player

youd be over listening to to sawyer every day too

well tbh ppl wouldn't be playing random shit on my record player so lay down the law beyond weather report

LOL Roxy it sounds like u r living with the ex of mine who just dumped me haha (except for the age).

weather report rules, jaco pastorius rules, fuiud

the teen said of his friend david: "he hates everything good! he hates RUSH, he hates MAGIC CARDS, he hates..." cant make this up
― (♥_♥) http://i46.tinypic.com/monk6.jpg (roxymuzak), Monday, November 15, 2010 3:46 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i now suspect this teen is my 14 year old past self warped forward in time

that is all-time adorable

"a ween poster? seriously? a reservoir dogs poster? i am a 27 year old man"

Wait. Your boyfriend plays in a heavy metal band and live in a "punk house". Is this a "narcissism of small differences" thing?

I am thirty and play in a metal band and live in the same house. We are adults. TY for stereotyping all metalheads

well we all post on ILX so no one should really be casting aspersions

Once I reached 20, I forgot what it what it was like to be a teenager. All I recall were the constant mental breakdowns and getting heartbroken over EVERYTHING! I also wrote tons of fan fiction about actors I was in love with. o_O

he writes in a journal a lot. he's a nice kid all told. just doesnt know how to live with other people (that aren't his parents) yet.

am thirty and play in a metal band and live in the same house. We are adults. TY for stereotyping all metalheads

I was just joking, Roxy - no butthurt feelings?

ps once my BF caught him watching/jerking off to(?) porn in the middle of the night in the living room. it was v uncomfortable all around

"doesn't anyone fucking KNOCK anymore?"

home now, smoking a peach blunt and listening to fucking rush

Mind wandered, read this as a "what's happening to our borad" post, thought, DAYUUUM rox, I know you metal and shit but a PEACH BLUNT? lol

Also, have never heard of Weather Report. Took me another 10 posts to catch on.

i smoke plain blunts tbh

also with the porn incident, we were all home at the time and my BF walked into the living room frm our adjoining bedroom. lol

How have things been with the little guy?

i was at poison lawn for a show last weekend and i was trying to figure out who the teen was from this thread.

just sayin-- there are plenty of adults who live in punk houses, play in bands, and are completely unashamed of still having roommates. not all of us can find cushy jobs, or want to.

is that the same thing as being homeless i dont understand *sips craft beer from jewel encrusted selvedge denim challis*

nothing wrong with flavored blunts imo

i am an adult who lives in a punk house, plays in bands, and is completely AShamed of still having this roommate!

things are fine with the kiddo, one of his friends has even become my friend and we bet on the pats/colts game together - i whooped him and predicted the exact final score as detailed on ilnfl under heading "its lasagna time'

something that gets on my nerves is that he is loud first thing in the morning and when people are reading and stuff, he also does drumming sounds with his mouth constantly. these are both things that will go away within two years, ime. every person i've known who does these things drops them at about age 20

6 days to go!

DUDES! I was just bustin' on Roxy. I don't give a fuck. That said, maybe there are adults who listen to Ween and like Reservoir Dogs.

no one is talking about you anymore dude lol

I don't listen to Ween. wtf?

i am going to miss his friend EG!

• he thanked me for cleaning up the place and doing the recycling and being a good housemate
• his friend stole my jacket

no one is talking about you anymore dude lol

― 867-5309 (abdul) (roxymuzak), Wednesday, November 24, 2010 5:03 AM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark

lmao owned

If I ever start a band they are being called KIND CRIMSON fyi

i listen to ween :/

3. a guy who looks a lot like sideshow bob, by far the worst of the friends. plugs into my little practice amp and just starts playing slap bass at all times, even when people are watching a movie. very aspie way of moving around, likes to quote monty python. i hate him.

^ this guy sounds insufferable

lol. yes.

Ion't feel like I was "lmao owned", Princess Tamtam. More like: if Roxy harbors ill feelings toward the dude for shutting her out of his D&D game, she can't give him too much shit for liking Magic Cards, is all.

once youre "lmao owned" youre "lmao owned", that is that, move on

roxy, i understand being a bit ashamed of having THIS roommate. but in general, having roommates isn't really something i feel one should be ashamed of. that's all.

gettin all sensey-defensey up in here wtf

for real, need more teen status updates, less of everything else

• his mom bakes him tons of treats. the woman really must be baking 24 hours a day. the bad thing is that he never eats them! they just pile up
• he eats doritos and pizza pretty much exclusively (this reminds me of a thread ally had about wondering how her roommate didnt develop scurvy). i always offer him some of what i cook for myself or andy, but he never wants it. when he goes grocery shopping he buys a bunch of pizzas and different kinds of doritos. the fact that he comes home with a variety of doritos is really funny to me.
• he is very generous with weed to me, but not really to any of his friends
• he has been listening to this album a lot http://images.artistdirect.com/Images/Sources/AMGCOVERS/music/cover200/drc400/c466/c46643vy8bk.jpg

• he does not drink coffee
• i gave him a large book of graf artists' stickers and he was truly overjoyed. he immediately put 8 of them on his bong

lolz.

spent the night thinking about the development of KIND CRIMSON btw. Gonna show Kanye how prog rap needs to be done.

• me and BF were watching a very quiet movie and he rolled in simultaneously eating very sloppy spaghetti, sloppily, and beatboxing

the only thing that would complete that sentence for me is if it ended with "while on rollerblades"

seriously, imagine what it sounded like

while on rollerblades

haha he would have fallen and made a blarp sound with the spaghetti, cause that room is carpeted

would make an excellent lil three pannel comic imo

http://images.artistdirect.com/Images/Sources/AMGCOVERS/music/cover200/drc400/c466/c46643vy8bk.jpg

icey cut an album, huh

his friend EG came over last night and me, him, the roommate, and my BF rolled a huge blunt and ate the thanksgiving leftovers
A+

o_O xp

• his friend that i like had a weird hoodie that i kind of liked, it had a little man on the back and a lot of bright colors but said "it is difficult to be alive", i thought it was so weird, turns out it is from an emo web comic and is supposed to be emo not funny BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• my BF banished one of his friends from the house (barbara). it was for good reason and the teen admitted she sucked. so that's solved

• the slap bass guy actually hasnt been back since i posted about him, which leads me to believe he may be reading this O_O

• time is winding down w/ the teen

as someone who grew up with a bro 4 years my junior this thread is relevant to me — you should just continue updating about stuff that he does even after he moves out

well im sure i'll still see him a lot. he will be downstairs from me! its all self-contained apartments though, so its not like he'll live in my same house, so i won't see him daily. like i said, the place is arranged weird. for example, it's impossible to tell who is home unless i go out side and go down a set of stairs to the backyard and look at the cars in the downstairs parking lot. it's a big place.

c'mon, what did Babs do

Babs list

• waltzed into apartment w/out knocking at all times, even when teen was not home
• let dog shit and piss everywhere
• left dog at apartment for hours unsupervised several times
• came in and cooked and left dished everywhere
• used things that belonged to people in the apartment without asking
• left trash everywhere
• made things in the apartment disappear
• was annoying and stupid as fuq

the dog thing was the straw, tbh

i also did not like the way she treated the teen in general and was always hoping he would open his eyes to this. i think he has. she was kind of stringing him along as a "just friends" thing, and he clearly liked her as more than friends, which isn't her fault, but she used this to get things from him, like weed, groceries (!), etc

I just don't get thievery. I am no saint but who could stoop so low to steal from someone's house, esp. someone you know. Disturbing.

classic thread bc it sounds like teen grew up a lil from being in ur presence, even if only for a month *no sarcasm*

i think he might have. i tried to be a cool influence but we all know that usually backfires and makes you look like an annoying square. haw.

the thing with babs is she didn't so much steal, it was just small things started going. like, a thing of post-its, that style of thing. and once i noticed a keyfob i had sat on the coffee table an hour prior on her keychain.

and she would just come over and cook our food! we're not your parents, ho

yeah the dog thing is really f-ed up and inexcusable

dog shit and stealing are just plain awful but this

• came in and cooked and left dished everywhere

oh yeah and

* his friend stole my jacket

― 867-5309 (abdul) (roxymuzak), Wednesday, November 24, 2010 5:09 AM (5 days ago)

this was her (got it back)

xpost can gangsters not clean up after themselves or

oh i forgot this lovable anecdote!

• teen's older brother (mid 20s) lives in the apartment next to ours. he is getting his masters in russian literature and we share interest in a couple authors and talk about that a lot. i have developed a friendship with him and he is very smart and cool, has a great relationship with his longterm GF, has his shit completely together and is just really worldly and interested in being worldly and knowing a lot, etc. i did not know he was the teen's older brother until recently. they look and act completely different, and seem to have completely different interests.

<3cute<3

awww future brosef imo!!!

hahahaa

babs ws y/n

just tryin to see Our Buddy's rationale here

trying to find rationale in an 18-year-old's romance is a fool's game

<3

crut's right. she has a couple signifiers that a teen would find ws, for example she has long flowing hair and a butt, but she's also kinda gross.

his rationale is that he wants to have sex. it is not a mystery.

and no i definitely ws, she disgusts me on many levels. she has flirted with me tbh

haha wNs

why because she look intersting

Chantilly lace and a pretty face
And a pony tail hanging down
A wiggle in the walk and giggle in the talk
Makes the world go round

no chantilly lace, face is slightly weird
pony tail DOES hang down
no wiggle in the walk, quite a bit of giggle but its more of a braying sound
makes the world full of bottle caps and dog piss

Dog piss is defininitely a bannable offense as is eating my food.

no chantilly lace, face is slightly weird

there's a great post punk song here

her jawline's not perfect, but that can be altered

pix

http://thenastyboys.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/chris-hansen.jpg

all available pics would be extremely flattering because they would be from facebook and you would mistake her for a supermodel

shes actually 20! xpost

ya but ice cr?m is 62

im immature tho

all available pics would be extremely flattering because they would be from facebook and you would mistake her for a supermodel

― tim lincecum in a giants snuggie (roxymuzak), Tuesday, November 30, 2010 12:53 PM (19 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

so what im getting from this is shes p hot and she uses it to treat her almost exclusively male circle of friends poorly

what im getting from this is where are the pics

i always untag photos that show my humpback and chronic eczema on my face. most of my fb photos r like riley from buffy x-ed w/ michaelangelos david

haha well more like shes inda cute and befriends a bunch of really spotty crappy teenage boys with low self esteem and abuses them because she has terrible self esteem. i feel bad for her for this and other reasons i won't go into here, but not bad enough to continue letting her shit on the teen (and her dog on my carpet). she's also crashingly dumb, like can't read subtitles dumb. *can't*

*kinda cute, not inda, lest that be mistaken for some kind of takeoff on indie. she's very average but does have v beautiful long hair, have i mentioned this hair enough btw

hey i just realized that both babs and the teen are featured in some of those pics of everybody in their underwear at the metal shows!!!

haha on review, EVERYONE mentioned in this thread is in at least one of those pics

*sound of ilx collectively scrambling*

thread isn't searchable really so they'll have to have it bookmarked

I know I've seen those but where?

• teen woke up with an incredible idea this morning. last night we were talking abut how we liked to have some soft noise going while we studied or read, and today he rolls into the living room with the idea for a desktop cat in "hen position" (legs tucked under) that purrs softly while you work.

hen position lol

http://www.flickr.com/groups/catloaves/

http://pages.sbcglobal.net/wompa164/Pictures/kittyloaf80.gif

<3 this thread btw

teen woke up with an incredible "idea" this morning.

my favoured term for cat loaves is "hovercraft cats" but "hen position" is good also

http://i54.tinypic.com/2qbyiht.jpg

I used to call this position (crouching, but not in attack mode) the "thumbs position" because when I was a kid I would cut out and save the cutesy cat & dog classified ads that animal shelters put in the newspaper ("Honeybunch, age 3, Providence, RI: mommy and daddy don't wuv me anymore. will you?"), and one of my favorites was a crouching kitty named Thumbs.

somebody ought to name and categorize every possible cat position, if this hasn't been done yet.

http://thatsnoice.com/hovercats2.gif

well goddamn

x-post aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh :D

roxy minor suggestion but would you consider changing the name to "tacos AL pastorius"

a bit awkward imo

u. <3 it i mean cmon

what?

give this 2 me im v drunk

the tacos???

i would like a taco please

tacos 4 evry1

hell yeah

do u ship to canada

what is happening?

roxy is making tacos al pastorius and shipping them to quebec

awesome

tacos pastorius is the name of the dish

haw

but can we at least talk about this

is his name jaco al pastorius?

no but tacos al pastor

omg. how long can this go on?

tacos pastorius is hilarious.

tacos al pastorius is not funny at all.

thanks slocki glad we talked

tacos pastorius is the name of the dish

ok.
but do you ship to canada

if the price is right

rrrobyn, show her the money

it's a rainbow of fruit flavoured money even
it can be yours

(at slightly under par)

do we have a deal...?

we can do this in loonies and twonies, put them in a sack or a chest, you will feel like a pirate

tacos pastorius is hilarious.

tacos al pastorius is not funny at all.

― Sister is dating a (CONTROVERSIAL MOD EDIT) (Nijoli), Monday, December 6, 2010 10:11 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

u are so weird they are like both equally funny

i am so weird. :)

the thing is one is more jaco pastorious and one is more al pastor

i set out to make a pun on jaco pastorius, not on tacos al pastor. hence the cheese

also nij u have really shown yourself to be a freak in this thread

oh no! a freak?

i haven't had a drink in seven days and just had six. i am likely talking jib and should quit posting.

a joke on max calling you weird

oh!

man, i have been slow all day.

u are both so weird

peace out

7 words max strikes again

you don't understand, tacos pastorius is the name of my dog

!!!!

!!!!

!!!!

twelve exclamation points emily

tepe

counting exclamation points when shit gets real

the teen got me an xmas present: a book on amateur forestry! i love it!

aw

i got him iron maiden stuff and truffles and i knitted a toy for his cat

just fyi

that is seriously heratwarming!

my herat is warmed

d'oh

afghanistan is usu pretty cold this time of year

is herat the new borad?

the child is giving a speech on chuck mangione in school today!

also why do people do this:

aluminum recycling is 90% fourloko cans?

― kkvgz, Friday, November 12, 2010 2:01 PM (2 months ago) Bookmark

sorry, this is not my thread. i will fuck right off.

― kkvgz, Friday, November 12, 2010 2:01 PM (2 months ago) Bookmark

makes you look like a person who has been horribly abused by message boards

No, no! It's just that I realized you had obviously started a thread to catalog your own experiences. You're probably right that I was unneccessarily apologetic though.

shook based posters

the child is giving a speech on chuck mangione in school today!

― dark link (roxymuzak), Tuesday, February 8, 2011 9:12 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^this is awesome

didnt chuck mangione make a south park appearance?

he was the spokesman for Mega Lo Mart on King of the Hill

hes been on loads of king of the hills

lol @ "the child"

imagine it in a yelling, emphatic excited voice, its celebrating him

for unto us the child is born

http://mykidentity.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/child.png

he is beatboxing in my kitchen atm

old times

awww

something that gets on my nerves is that he is loud first thing in the morning and when people are reading and stuff, he also does drumming sounds with his mouth constantly. these are both things that will go away within two years, ime.

stunned by how perfectly i called this tbh

ive been hanging out with him a lil lately, he moved back into one of the apartments below ours. kid's growin' up. his apartment is kind of clean, although decorated literally from floor to ceiling in anime stuff

the teen said of his friend david: "he hates everything good! he hates RUSH, he hates MAGIC CARDS, he hates..." cant make this up

hahaha he was complaining about this same thing today!

awww <3

this is one of my favorite threads

"some day, if i get the chance, id like to wear a bowtie"

lyfe goals

u don't "get" the chance, you make the chance imo

i love this thread

i hope that his bowtie will not be of the clip-on and/or spinning novelty variety

making drum noises with my mouth was a huge problem for me in my teens, too... have large grown out of it but still catch myself doing it at times when i'm nervous or bored

now that he does not live in my home I enjoy seeing and interacting with him