WE'RE EXPECTING !!!!!!

And here's what happens after you appear in the WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thread.

http://www.kristieliasblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/pregnancy-portrait-photographer(pp_w900_h1125).jpg

Could you two have waited, like, another month before doing this?
http://www.mayadphotography.com/wp-content/themes/RAWfolio/php/tt.php?src=http://www.mayadphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/20120204_145516.jpg&w=900&h=600&zc=3&q=100&a=c

Better count the fingers on this baby one more time after it's born.
http://photographyjulia.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/boulder_maternity_photos6.jpg
(And, why - the - hat?)

They sure have improved sonograms since the old days, haven't they?
http://www.a-fotografy.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/East-lothian-maternity-portrait-photographer1.jpg

http://www.jodieotte.com/blog/1111/outdoor_maternity.jpg

Look out for Vic Morrow!
http://www.ellegphotography.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/ellerman-215.jpg

http://xaxor.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/WTF-pregnancy-portraits5.jpg

And finally,
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7fy2lxPnu1qiewrho1_500.jpg

And these aren't official portraits, but posting these to get them out of the way.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MnxTSlefj3Y/TlcM1Sehy2I/AAAAAAAAAEY/2cCjFdAIsmo/s1600/pregnant+with+gun.jpg

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080210191235/aliens/images/9/94/Alien_facehugger.jpg

Stockholm syndrome in those last pics from pp

https://dl.dropbox.com/u/1484956/alien%20expecting.png

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MnxTSlefj3Y/TlcM1Sehy2I/AAAAAAAAAEY/2cCjFdAIsmo/s1600/pregnant+with+gun.jpg

http://www.engr.uark.edu/directory/594.php

"The YOU of A" is the University of Arkansas' catchphrase? That is a shame.

What strikes me about the gun pictures is how murderously aggressive the men look, while the women just look pregnant and content and not like an angry, gun-wielding, Dockers-wearing wingnut has them in a headlock.

And I mean, what's the point of that picture? "Don't fuck with my pregnant wife, pictured here in a headlock, or I'll fucking shoot you!" Do they hang these up on their doors under the "This property protected by Smith & Wesson" sign? Do the wives have shirts printed with these pictures to wear when their husbands aren't in headlocking distance? Is this their Christmas card and do people subsequently decline to pay holiday visits for fear of being shot? I just have so many questions.

"I have captured and drugged your pregnant wife and if you attempt to retrieve her, I will shoot you in the face!"

http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5019/5478317699_db0a585c8d_z.jpg

http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2291/2253247437_bd20575fc4.jpg

You should try having an angry, gun-wielding, Dockers-wearing wingnut get you in a nice, tight, inescapable headlock sometime. Before you know it, the sense of security will overwhelm your synapses with the loveliest chemicals and you will not be able to remember how you lived before.

A paternity test might be your best shot for an answer.

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8449/8017001277_c01cdaf73b_c.jpg

Wasn't crazy about this one at first, until I imagined how nice a velour cushion would feel on one's own bare ass.

http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6225/6852366366_1622497941_c.jpg

^^ 70s roman polanski film vibe w/ that one

Do you think that photographer did some Photoshopping in the crotch area there? Something looks weird.

she actually has no vagina.

I don't understand the need to take off your shirt and SHOW me you are pregnant. If you tell me that you're pregnant, I'll believe you. It's been done before. Just write it on your standard stationary. Give me visual evidence when you get the highest score in Donkey Kong.

What strikes me about the gun pictures is how murderously aggressive the men look, while the women just look pregnant and content and not like an angry, gun-wielding, Dockers-wearing wingnut has them in a headlock.

― carl agatha, Saturday, December 29, 2012 12:57 PM (3 hours ago)

What (also) strikes me about them is the astonishment that there is more than one couple that wanted to be photographed in that pose

Is the left not a parody of the right?

Apparently, since the pic on the right is on about 30 blogs but I can't find the other one elsewhere (tineye.com is so useful). But the woman in the parody doesn't look as happy/oblivious as the original

http://i.imgur.com/crvqoWl.jpg

!

aaaaahahahahaha

lollll

OMG lololol

http://i.imgur.com/EPLkvQH.jpg

oh my

Found a smaller size, did an image search for something bigger, ended up posing something with a watermark. So off my game.

http://youarenotaphotographer.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/baby-punch.jpg

http://youarenotaphotographer.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/baby-arch.jpg

haha wat

I'm sitting here with my jaw dropped, unable to look away.

O_o

I know this isn't the right thread, but neither was the WE'RE EXPECTING thread either.

http://i.imgur.com/yp7IkCr.jpg

it kinda belongs on the irrational anger thread cuz it's driving me nuts that the dates go 2010-2005-2012 instead of chronologically left-to-right

i also want to graffiti 'klaatu barada nikto' underneath it

x-post - I can tell you right now that I hate that couple. A lot. Also the chronology thing is annoying at first but it's sorta like a monogram with the wedding in the middle and each kid on a side. Better not have any oopsie third babies. Decorating nightmare.

It's a shame they all died though.

irl lol

at pp's post, not the horrible horrible wall of awful

how can they have gone to the trouble of building a monument to the time of their children's births without specifying AM or PM?

ok i guess the wedding was presumably 2:30 pm but this doesn't excuse the left and right

plus now i'm gonna have to celebrate the strangers' births four times each year: 8:23 am + 8:23 pm on Dec 11th, 7:30 am + 7:30 pm on Feb 13th
fuck!

How could they have gone to the trouble without pausing to think about how awful and dated that's going to look in like two years? Maybe one at this point.

A+ thread

That St. Louis one makes me think the Arch is the father every time.

who the fuck would put a clock that low down on the wall?

not the same thing exactly but a family i knew in high school had a stillborn about 10yrs prior; they had photo of the stillborn on a mantelpiece with a permanent light over it

the mom signed christmas birthday cards etc from the family + baby's name "in heaven"

they were the nicest ppl but it weirded me out sooooo much

There's only one way that could've been any worse.

clock?

mantlepiece

I want to do one of these where I'm dressed like a celeb magician a la david blaine, and it's styled as though the due date is the day I'm going to do my fantastic new trick

like "ON 11/7/2015, THE MYSTERY IS REVEALED..." and my hands are dramatically hovering over her belly

You just had your chance and you let it slip away... Guess you're going to have to have three kids.

http://i.imgur.com/Bnn7YPa.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/FvIYRIr.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/Okp3soI.jpg

incredible

curious abt the process like did they ask the doctor to inform the custom exploding ball maker or what

dude cmon the parents have a doctor/pa write it on a piece of paper and place it in a sealed envelope and then the parents give it to a trusted friend who makes the arrangements

wow i guess we all know how grady wld handle it now

trusted friend should've had them fill the ball with ash, that would've made for great photos

imagine the mixed feelings that would occur if they forgot to load up the ball with pink/blue smoke, BUT the guy absolutely crushes the pitch and knocks it over a nearby apartment building, the longest homer that anyone had ever even heard of at that field?

lmao

http://www.rattleandmum.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Screen-Shot-2012-09-23-at-2.36.37-PM.png

uh oh. looks like a breech.

artist's conception

tim heidecker looks pleased

http://i.imgur.com/ZJrpYYm.jpg http://i.imgur.com/VV0z2f7.jpg

waht

oh lol pplains I forgot what this thread was and also what you look like

viz., not that guy

trusted friend should've had them fill the ball with ash, that would've made for great photos

― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, December 3, 2015 2:40 PM (3 months ago)

then as he hits the ash ball friend should yell GENDER IS A CONSTRUCT then run away

Who leaves the seat down when vomiting?

good lord https://twitter.com/anamardoll/status/728591694581530625

Thank you for your vigilance, polyphonic.

http://i.imgur.com/533wvOP.jpg http://i.imgur.com/JXaNRcp.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/nVbHjjL.jpg http://i.imgur.com/kiBI51n.jpg

blue chlorine gas, hopefully

then they glance up and recoil in horror at the giant mutant baby with a gunshot wound that emerges from the cloud

I was hoping for Prince he'd be reincarnated somewhere else.

chivers y/n

why does the man get to do the shooting

cause he did the shooting a few months ago

amirite

WHOAAAAAÄÁÂÆÆÃÅĀ

cheers all around

http://67.media.tumblr.com/9fea0e23116cdea3ae85418307243c83/tumblr_o80rtbY3FJ1utw2woo1_500.jpg

my face as i scroll through this thread

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/7f/bb/4d/7fbb4d492c7d87a7fe564dda52451203.jpg

Stevie D started this on the GETTING MARRIED thread.

http://youarenotaphotographer.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/IMG_20160305_132616.jpg

I'm never going to eat spaghetti sauce again.

http://i.imgur.com/3M0XOOz.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/8osXCfW.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/vhjl4oV.jpg

__________________________________________________________________

http://i.imgur.com/a5TQL4k.jpg

Well, praying and fucking. Couldn't fit all that on the chalkboard though.

__________________________________________________________________

Glad to see these shirts making a comeback going out of style after 9/11.

http://i.imgur.com/Kjr7XQ0.jpg

These shirts also due since going out of style in 1000000000 B.C.

http://i.imgur.com/NEpLZN7.jpg

__________________________________________________________________

And I thought white people numbers were supposed to be going down.

http://i.imgur.com/UAPmSIO.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/3BSdW2Y.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/NoZ0n0E.jpg

But I guess not.

But I guess not.

http://i.imgur.com/i9mzJhl.jpg

we got a ziti in the oven #prego

that last one is good!

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Coy0x6KVMAA9UNv.jpg

More like 'we're aborting!!' :'-/

I mean, dude wearing a baseball glove instead would still get the point across. No one's going, ok, so who's this guy in the photo, what's his role in all this?

whoa yeah that is some ill-advised imagery

should have Griffey Jr. swing the bat for a true "hall of fame induction"

http://67.media.tumblr.com/b8609a594da258e90f7ce0df952876ac/tumblr_odgk8jjLjn1utw2woo1_1280.jpg

intense

burning man was great this year

congratulations on yr babby dragon

Found this on an "expecting" page, so I knew that the baby clothes was for a new sibling.

But I had to stare at it for like another five minutes before...

http://i.imgur.com/PuE0k4m.jpg

...I realized, oh. They're German.

Mormons in Germany?

Germons

sorry

Did gerald scarfe ever have some sort of animated German blood like a hole in Europe, spilling over its borders? Would've been some trenchant commentary I tell you.

utah has many wonderful german-americans within its borders

And they're expecting more!

Always

Wasn't crazy about this one at first, until I imagined how nice a velour cushion would feel on one's own bare ass.

🗻

i'm sad some of these are no longer up. i love this thread more than life itself.

it's a reason to live for sure

Here are some I was able to dig back up:

Could you two have waited, like, another month before doing this?

http://i.imgur.com/7sGjmLf.jpg

__________________

They sure have improved sonograms since the old days, haven't they?

http://i.imgur.com/yr0dnsE.jpg

__________________

and this one was unfortunately lost to the sands of time.

http://i.imgur.com/1oNZirU.png

lol thank you

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14721626_10157624893750525_3983417427375602258_n.jpg?oh=915f1f9e6caf34ed35976841b39b9ef0&oe=5896A70F

it's happening!!!

OMG Frogbs my man, congrats!!

aw!

<3

you really should have taken your shirt off and drawn something on your belly though

frogbb

awesome congrats, fb.

However, this is still the 1p3G thread "WE'RE EXPECTING !!!!!!" so I have to ask - is that your reenactment of the conception?

bsha'a tova big <3's frog-man

Gratsbs

thanks all!

http://i.imgur.com/6D0QvZa.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/8xLuSMz.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/4WDhLcD.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/7E9HQE1.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/WDSFvSU.jpg

https://img0.etsystatic.com/128/1/8600799/il_340x270.887007654_q2js.jpg

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/6d/65/52/6d6552d5d35839d5784d73eceb6b66ca.jpg

Nothing makes me madder at the cisnormative gender binary than this thread

yeah i feel genuinely bad for these future children with sexist parents

Nothing?

I mean, not today, at least.

Fair, fair

Today, personally, it's having had to do woodwork rather than home ec in 1995 maybe in the alternative universe my pearl barley today woulda come out partways edible

Fuck the cistem

Slightly off-canon, but

http://i.imgur.com/zBS1yWi.gif

How is helium babby formed

http://akns-images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/20161114/rs_600x600-161214122355-600.ryan-lochte.cm.121416.jpg

the We're Expecting announcement that makes everyone in the family feel weird

or just... everyone, period

this is what the baby from the nirvana album looks like now

smells like a bad idea

what https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C286-H6UAAAYz8C.jpg

honey im feeling a little bloated

https://twitter.com/CharlesFinch/status/823942113838542848

(I posted this to the parenting board yesterday)

there's no chance that it tells u the gender is there

how would a piss test do that?

idk maybe new tech - i didn't know until last week that they could tell gender from blood work now! (uh, hint.)

!

rly? yay mordy then?

obvs on the dl for now but yes await further reports (& uh all ilxors invited when such a thing may happen:p)

<3 hope all goes well, will keep on the dl

heyo! mazel tov

(I posted this to the parenting board yesterday)

― Οὖτις, Wednesday, January 25, 2017 4:41 PM (twenty-eight minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

being a not-parent, i didn't see that, but yeah i did steal it from that tweet

I don't even think that company's around anymore. https://www.omega-pharma.com/en/segmenten_en

Wonder why.

(I know this is likely translated from Dutch, but c'mon.)

Predictor is a brand name with an impressive heritage and a strong reputation. Initially, the brand referred exclusively to pregnancy tests, but nowadays the assortment also includes other products for self-diagnosis and products to help couples with a wish to have a child to achieve their dream.

Mazel tov!!! I have never celebrated this particular simcha because I am too old to have babby-having friends, apparently:(

nb point of interest in my community we don't say MT until the actual event bc of ayin hara / evil eye, instead the commonly accepted phrase is b'sha'a tova ('in a good time') but appreciate anyway warm feelings <3

oh I take it back, and thank you for telling me :)

b'sha'a tova!

Congrats Mordy!!

http://i.imgur.com/jECsfER.jpg

Kind of a weird way to announce you're having septuplets, but ok?

http://i.imgur.com/mO9vwz2.jpg

And hey look, they're apparently having twins.

http://i.imgur.com/a53fWqR.jpg

That's not my father. That's just my reflection.

http://i.imgur.com/D9jKHgj.jpg

Always thought Caesarians were a little messier.

http://i.imgur.com/RUlhm3t.jpg

Getting tired of these yet?

http://i.imgur.com/vPE0uvO.jpg

Got

http://i.imgur.com/vFqYfMo.jpg

To

http://i.imgur.com/AF99rUG.png

Catch

http://i.imgur.com/wfLTZsJ.jpg

Them

http://i.imgur.com/264HRAA.jpg

All!

http://i.imgur.com/J1BETHa.jpg

And I don't even know if this is a pregnancy photo or not. Time to do some unexpecting.

These cheered me up tonight! Lol!!!

http://i.imgur.com/JNlhE5G.jpg?1

the camera? his capacity to humiliate his unborn child?

Dudes in a wheelchair

?

oh whoa did not see that

.....How?

I didn't notice it at first either

I think I was too focused on trying to convince my brain that it wasn't Paul Reubens in the photo

Fair. I guess the combo of his being seated and the actual message made it an obvious thing to look for for me

family jewels pretty resilient eh

My mans really took a pitch on a gender reveal 💀💀 pic.twitter.com/R2ZGG9Y2SX

— Insane Athletes (@Insane_Athletes) July 17, 2017

Starting to miss the days before ultrasound.

https://i.imgur.com/o2YU62s.jpg

I take it only one of them likes black olives?

Maybe they put “girl” on one side and then “boy” on the other (potentially a different topping?) and then took off the “boy” side when they heard the news?

who puts olives on afterbirth anyway

I don't understand what straight people think babies are pic.twitter.com/ezHTkR1qX3

— Onson Sweemey (@ChurchCarlton) February 19, 2018

luv2force traditional gender roles on my developing foetus

https://i.imgur.com/LLSMG7K.jpg

"Sorry. Gotta go back to the house to get my tiara."

Alternately,

https://i.imgur.com/LOkjjnd.jpg

"Sorry. Gotta go back to the house to get my tiara."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECE86WwWswI

oddly mesmerizing

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dea1fkCX0AEekcg.jpg:large

Those naughty hets

they haven't really been naughty their pinkies aren't at the corner of their mouths

being naughty by upholding the social norms of partnering up and having a baby, the scandal

Why are people like this!?! A+ thread.

I am very glad that all these people found a partner that isn't embarrassed by this.

I mean, I figured it was photoshopped, but I still had to check.

https://i.imgur.com/0UwM0iJ.jpg

ban sex

Ban cameras.

I was mesmerized by the WTC pic and now I'm just mesmerized by that lady's belt situation.

Haha. I only now noticed the WTC.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeX1s5-txmk

https://d2w9rnfcy7mm78.cloudfront.net/2049799/original_e3c917b91b30d594cb9c12d09262e0c0.jpg

The straights are at it again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqlyznE7eVo

All that and I still don't know what kind of babby it is!

So focused on the dogs' reaction, I didn't even see what the reveal was.

We’re having a baby daughter!!! Crys and I are so excited and can’t wait to meet you Cookie Dough! 🤰🏻🍪 #GodIsGreat #Family #DadTime pic.twitter.com/XtLVS1wJqy

— Austin Cook (@austincookgolf) August 20, 2018

Trying to work out where exactly the "reveal" was there, but guessing this is probably a colour vision problem on my part.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/border-patrol-agent-ordered-to-pay-dollar220k-after-starting-47000-acre-wildfire-at-gender-reveal-party

I’m disappointed that the article didn’t reveal the gender of the baby

harbl!

I hope they named the kid Tanner

You know what, they knew going into this that parenting would be expensive

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYgDJSpZmX8

That’s my gender.

Just the black balloon bedecked with question marks, running away

Congrats pplains

it is a mystery

Video of explosion at border agent's gender-reveal party that sparked Arizona wildfire released https://t.co/wNCzzaU0Pi pic.twitter.com/K8ClaoNsWF

— Arizona Daily Star (@TucsonStar) November 26, 2018

so, so dumb

Straight people continue to be the cause of all misfortune

i had to

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DQpjorzWAAIwjtH.jpg:large

god damn it

hawt

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D26smimWwAE1Tcs.jpg
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D26smilXQAE1iSi.jpg

The straights are at it again

boy are they ever

GORT
KLAATU
BERADA
NIKTO

I’ll take “Aspirational names that convey white class privilege” for six hundred, Alec.

Channing surely more privileged-sounding than Tatum.

this is just north american whiteness

like white trash kids are also called Braygron or whatever

TROGDOR

i was in line at the grocery store and some reality tv star i'd never heard of was on the cover and her baby's name was "CREW" and i got IA

Does this constitute cultural appropriation? A couple decades of whites making fun of African American naming practices culminating in little Lakynns and Tatums running around is somehow both weird and predictable

seriously, can someone explain these names (to a European)? What's the etymology? Never seen anything like them

I remember introducing my American (then) girlfriend to an English friend called Alistair and she thought it was the strangest fkn name she'd ever heard

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--myApFkw1--/c_fit,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/pl5pkdalrpcm1hzw359z.jpg

seriously, can someone explain these names (to a European)?

take some names, cut them into individual syllables, put them in a hat, then randomly pick and combine between two and four of them

wherever possible, replace a vowel with a 'y'

congrats, now your beautiful caucasian baby is saddled with a stupid name

Funny how, these (white) US names all sound futuristic and computer-generated, whereas in the part of Europe where I'm from, the trend for parents is to dig out outdated retro names from a hundred years ago.

From top 100 girls names in 2008 UK, these are all names I associate with women of my grandmother's generation

4. Lily+0
5. Ava+1
11. Grace+3
16. Evie+0
19. Elsie+27
20. Alice+3
29. Florence+10
34. Matilda+0
52. Penelope+14
70. Gracie+19
72. Esme-27
81. Rose-4
96. Victoria new!

Sinutab? Propecia? Did somebody try to sneak those into that graph to make fun of black kids names?

yes. and I apologize if I opened the door to that being posted, but it's definitely racist

Those are two different women in the pics right?

xp it's an old Onion infographic https://www.theonion.com/most-popular-u-s-baby-names-1819586596 my apologies, I should have just linked or not posted it at all

huh, it's weird that the 1999 Onion graphic style just says "2019 facebook meme" to me now

NOBODY:

FUTURE DAD: Here, let just take my shirt off too.

https://i.imgur.com/b0T5oxW.jpg

"Maybe if I just sorta start creeping away slowly, she won't even notice –"

https://i.imgur.com/Ygdo9CI.jpg

"Dammit! She caught me."

https://i.imgur.com/oq1iFi6.jpg

The thing about these that gets me is, like, other people have had a baby before you clods, why are you burdening us with this as if you are the inventors of pregnancy

Does this constitute cultural appropriation? A couple decades of whites making fun of African American naming practices culminating in little Lakynns and Tatums running around is somehow both weird and predictable

― rob, Monday, April 1, 2019 6:10 PM (yesterday)

I totally get this line of thought, and 'white people names' are often pretty stupid, but Tatum isn't a new invention by a long shot.

damn you're right, apparently it's Old English! but yeah, in terms of those two photos, the girls' names list is considerably more "innovative" than the boys', so gender would unsurprisingly be a big factor here too

Your children should be named for a dead relative, all other options are questionable

I find it interesting that Tatum was originally a feminine name (Tatum O'Neal was the first Tatum I ever heard of, and cursory research seems to suggest it skewed heavily female). I think the fact that there's at least one famous man with it as a surname gives it a more masculine feel, and possibly the 'um' ending feels more masculine too??

Sorry, this is a bit off the topic of laughing at idiots.

my problem with "Tatum" is it sounds like a name you'd give to a porky puppy

Funny how, these (white) US names all sound futuristic and computer-generated, whereas in the part of Europe where I'm from, the trend for parents is to dig out outdated retro names from a hundred years ago.

‘tatum’ sounds like some kind of heavily-processed potato product

Tatums, gotta munch’um!!!

*mynch

The straights mormons are at it again

― moose; squirrel (silby), Monday, April 1, 2019 3:21 PM (two days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfIehCrO4Zs

lmao

polio coming for all the unvaccinated children of essential oil moms pic.twitter.com/yJIe8hniKX

— ΘΎΡΑ (@piramno) April 14, 2019

harsh but fair

https://i.imgur.com/ZW6SW4n.jpg

the answer to that question of course is, as always, no

i saw this photo right after reading a chapter about the largest cattleyard operations in the world to that point, mid-1800s Chicago, with a description of a well-do-do urbanite lady standing expressionless in a small patch of open space in the middle of the chaos, with blood running underneath her shoes

Had she just given birth?

lol

you know, the text didn't say!

it didn't say that she had not NOT just given birth, so

A woman in Iowa died during a gender reveal announcement on Saturday after flying debris from an explosion from what amounted to a homemade pipe bomb struck her, the authorities said on Monday.

The woman, Pamela Kreimeyer, 56, died instantly after she was struck in the head by a piece of metal from a device that was intended to reveal the sex of the baby, the Marion County Sheriff’s Office said in a statement on Monday.

...“Our investigation showed that members of the Kreimeyer family were experimenting with different types of explosive material on Friday and Saturday in an attempt to record a gender reveal that could be posted on social media for friends and family,” the statement said.

The family was trying to create a device that could shoot colored powder into the air to share the gender of the baby, the statement said

Gunpowder was placed in the bottom of a homemade stand that was welded to a metal base.

“A hole had been drilled in the side for a fuse, a piece of wood was placed on top of the gunpowder and colored powder was placed on top of the board,” the statement said. “Tape was then wrapped over the top of the metal tubing, inadvertently creating a pipe bomb. Instead of the gunpowder shooting the powder out the top of the stand, the stand exploded sending metal pieces flying.”

One of these metal pieces struck Ms. Kreimeyer in the head, “causing instant death,” the statement said.

She was standing with other family members about 45 feet from the device. The projectile that struck her continued 144 yards farther through the air and landed in a field, the statement said.

but what was the baby’s gender tho

"inadvertently creating a pipe bomb" jesus

chef's kiss to that gender reveal

Well then.

I guess...

https://i.imgur.com/TCIgxtK.gif

... she wasn't expecting that!

something something nuclear family

- "Psst. By the way, the baby's going to be a girl!"

- "Ok, that's great. Listen, I think he's about to do the eulogy..."

This may be the worst + funniest gender reveal I have seen

https://www.instagram.com/p/B4IzA14gTje

whatever happened to just posting an ultrasound on Facebook and having half the people guess incorrectly?

young people today do everything wrong

I mean, if you're looking for a silver lining, this happened during the gender bomb prep, not during the full-on reveal with 36 close relatives standing around it.

after human cloning is perfected, people will reveal the gender of their baby at a party by murdering their favorite aunt/uncle. then they will feast on smoked michael bay.

https://i.imgur.com/newdIWa.jpg

ahahaha

You're right, this is the wrong thread. Let's pray that there's never a right thread for these, ok?

https://i.imgur.com/GykEMsH.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/LoWNXiC.jpg

The dang hets don’t know when to take a break

diabetesdiapersanddeadlifts

https://66.media.tumblr.com/cd024949509273abef7bea75f2b6b41c/tumblr_p11ntiU3is1ud05ppo1_1280.jpg

this would make all three series so much better

i socialized my ilx thought on twitter, i'm sorry

This is why copyright sucks. Baby Jesus Sonic with Batman and Shrek as Joseph and Mary, guest starring Wayne Gretzky as the wise man, would be incomparably greater, even if it were poorly executed. SEGA, Disney, and WB wouldn't let it happen because they know they can't compete. https://t.co/mQKK5l4h0H

— a load of baloney (@weinventyou) April 1, 2020

what's weird is i don't think most people are recognizing all the Nativity scene references. i guess they're obvious enough that they don't bear mentioning, but i love the subtle inclusion of jesus/sonic, shrek as the virgin mary, batman as best supporting actor in a miniseries.

https://www.reddit.com/r/classic4chan/comments/51aza7/request_batman_embracing_shrek_whos_pregnant_with/

The queen is tethered to my belly inside of a cage. Poetry. pic.twitter.com/KyAJQLEza5

— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) July 3, 2020

amazing! unbeelievable!

I'm not sure what disturbs me more: the bees, or "Poetry."

the baby's name will be poetree

Poignant explanation from the Bee Lady (who, btw, is still carazy as hell.)

I.. couldn't see an explanation about why she has bees on her, which to me was the notable thing about the photos
Many sympathies and best of luck to her family though

Combo of difficult experiences + love of bees?

I mean, no, it doesn't add up on my calculator, per se...

some kids don't know their parents are crazy until high school. Kids itt have a leg up there.

I mean, is this lady a beekeeper? Or did she just hire bees specifically for this purpose????? Is this even a thing?

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EhFT9lnXcAMu6lR?format=jpg&name=large

love this.

is the truck the dad?

sure is, proud papa!

truckbaby x1000

You talk a small game for someone with such a big truck.

hate when i'm driving my 18 wheeler and this happens

Like you all have never heard of a baby carrier.

m'lady

strong Transformers 9 energy

#ElDoradoFire | SAN BERNARDINO/ INYO/ MONO UNIT |
El Dorado Fire Cause pic.twitter.com/PNBQWMXMwK

— CAL FIRE (@CAL_FIRE) September 7, 2020

assholes

sanpaku posted about that this morning, along with ANOTHER gender reveal fire (that one was only 10 acres, though)

fucking crazy man

surely a cake would suffice

throw some candles on there, you can still burn shit down while revealing

https://i.imgur.com/m94366y.jpg

I hate these can u imagine if gay people invited their family over for a party so they could wear shirts that said “the cum came from HERE and went THERE!” my family would never speak to me again pic.twitter.com/PRvKQc5AQr

— dylan (@dylaneatswings) November 23, 2020

How it started. How it’s going. pic.twitter.com/KZaFkFgGrU

— YS (@NYinLA2121) December 1, 2020

https://www.cnn.com/2021/02/08/us/man-killed-cannon-baby-shower-trnd/index.html

the fact that it was an irl ~cannon~ filled with ~too mich gunpowder~

like

folks

what were they even trying to do here bc surely their intent was not to kill a friend jfc

The homeowner had purchased the cannon at an auction and had fired it several times before

imagine having this dolt for a neighbour.

Would it be untoward to say... that someone wasn't expecting?

not untoward at all.. very toward actually

CNN supposedly such a trusted news source, and yet, not one word about the baby's gender.

Someone blew up a gravel pit with tannerite for a goddamn GENDER REVEAL and now our tap water is brown.

— Maggie ‘The Sluttiest Little Farmer’ Jasmin (@Magsalicious) April 22, 2021

What, what I ask you, is wrong with the hets

what indeed

UPDATE: Kingston police say approx. 80 pounds of Tannerite were used at that gender reveal party that caused a massive explosion that shook homes for miles. Man who detonated it has turned himself in to police and is cooperating. Police haven’t decided on charges. @UnionLeader

— Jason Schreiber (@Schreibernews) April 22, 2021

fun context--in its intended purpose tannerite is supposed to be used 1-2 lbs at a time.

also, new hampshire

would've been better if they'd made the water blue or pink depending on the sex of the child.

and yet trans people are considered the danger to society

lol

My organization has hidden the gender of 5 babies around the city. We will reveal one every hour until our demands have been met

— ALEX “THE POSTING PHREAK” PTAK (@PtakJokes) April 23, 2021

lmao

maybe the worst ever

I'll never delete Facebook. pic.twitter.com/FXXqKkU34p

— Leo I guess (@Leodgrad) September 18, 2021

oh wow, uh, congratulations big guy

i’m surprised she didnt include a gleeful selfie of her peeing on the stick as well

hahaha

idgi, is the premise that she might have frozen the pregnancy test in a popsicle and then documented it's melting and his reaction, if she were NOT pregnant?

oops its. please saddle me with cone of shame asap

has anyone saved the 9/11 version of this? dead link above.

https://i.imgur.com/0UwM0iJ.jpg

obvs not really the right thread but

my most hated genre of family photos pic.twitter.com/ndJFmMDlum

— amy ⚢ (@chlorofem) December 19, 2021

🤮

The absolute CHAOS of this onesie my mom sent us for the baby… pic.twitter.com/wH7l9sASBI

— Evan D. Watkins (@VanWatz) March 11, 2022

Baby mom needs to get checked out at a hospital asap

I want to see your heart like AN ANIMAL.

i had to read that shit like 5 times to even mildly comprehend it

looks like it was designed on horseback

looks like it was designed on horseback

lol, I don't even know what this means, but it's a perfect description.

https://www.ocregister.com/2023/09/05/pilot-dies-after-plane-crashes-during-gender-reveal-party-in-mexico/

And in Iowa in October 2019, a gender reveal party went south when the family unintentionally built a pipe bomb. When the device went off the entire pipe exploded, sending shrapnel flying that hit and killed a grandmother standing nearby.

lmao/r.i.p.

i predict that the kids born from these tragedies will have powerful dark magic about them

in the video of the plane crash, the camera follows the plane briefly after its wing detaches and then starts plunging to the ground, then pans back to the happy couple embracing under a cloudy streak of pink. i'll (hopefully) assume they didn't see it was crashing.

First time I saw the video, I thought the pilot was doing a fancy trick.

... by making his wing fold back on to the — Look, I didn't say I was paying that much attention to it.

"if the left wing falls off, it's a girl..."

I feel like I know it's a "her", but sometimes my wings bend back

https://www.yahoo.com/news/couple-whose-gender-reveal-party-231646082.html