Donkey Kong Suh and the very bad no good horrible Week 3 - NFL 2014

Tampa Bay at Atlanta
San Diego at Buffalo
Washington at Philadelphia
Tennessee at Cincinnati
Dallas at St. Louis
Houston at N.Y. Giants
Baltimore at Cleveland
Green Bay at Detroit
Indianapolis at Jacksonville
Oakland at New England
Minnesota at New Orleans
San Francisco at Arizona
Denver at Seattle
Kansas City at Miami
Pittsburgh at Carolina
Chicago at N.Y. Jets

thank god we had donkey kong suh at least

whoa I didn't know there was a Super Bowl rematch this early. in Seattle no less.

I know they're invincible at home but I secretly think they're gonna lose this one

Tampa Bay at Atlanta - Falcons
San Diego at Buffalo - Chargers
Washington at Philadelphia - Eagles
Tennessee at Cincinnati - Bengals
Dallas at St. Louis - Cowboys huge
Houston at N.Y. Giants - Texans
Baltimore at Cleveland - Browns!
Green Bay at Detroit - Lions
Indianapolis at Jacksonville - Colts
Oakland at New England - Patriots. RAIDERS BEAT THE SPREAD
Minnesota at New Orleans - Vikings
San Francisco at Arizona - Cardinals if Palmer plays
Denver at Seattle - Seattle
Kansas City at Miami - Dolphins
Pittsburgh at Carolina - Panthers
Chicago at N.Y. Jets - Bears

Last week 8-8, so far a totally mediocre 17-15.

Tampa Bay at Atlanta- Tampa looks horrible, give me Falcons at home.
San Diego at Buffalo- This is a pretty interesting matchup. I'm curious on who wins here. I'll go Buffalo, but I figure this one could go either way. It will be interesting to see how these teams develop out.
Washington at Philadelphia- Philly just plum wore out Indy's defense in the second half. Chip Kelly has a crazy form of football and it's enjoyable to watch. I don't think Philly's defense is all that, so I could see them playing anyone to some scores. Hatcats got more to prove, give me the Eagles.
Tennessee at Cincinnati- Cincy is looking pretty good. I think the big thing is that they have had some key injuries that have hobbled them a bit down the stretch in their playoff runs. Dalton is totally in that mash with QBs that seem to get exposed in the red zone. Dalton is decent, but he can't make those laser tight end zone throws like the top dogs. Titans are a mediocre mystery that might show up this week...give me Cincy either way at home.
Dallas at St. Louis- I guess Dallas, hard to figure on this match up.
Houston at N.Y. Giants- Giants are bad and the Texans seem to be setup to make hay with their 2-14 schedule.
Baltimore at Cleveland- Hard to tell...fuk B-more, I'd rather see the Browns win so I will pick Cleveland.
Green Bay at Detroit- I guess Green Bay, as I just don't trust the Lions.
Indianapolis at Jacksonville- Indy needs the win and if they lose to Jville, they are in trouble.
Oakland at New England- Pats
Minnesota at New Orleans- Saints are the best 0-2 team.
San Francisco at Arizona - I think this is a toss up. I'm going AZ.
Denver at Seattle - I'm going Seattle, but I would like to see the Broncos beat them in that stadium.
Kansas City at Miami- Andy Reid's clubs just flat often have problems running a 2 minute drill. They were moving the ball all over the place against the Broncos. I don't like either club and figure toss up...Go Dolphins at home.
Pittsburgh at Carolina- I'm going Carolina.
Chicago at N.Y. Jets- I still can't believe the Bears won last week. Jets play clubs tough, so I would believe a close and kinda fugly game. I'll go with the Bears.

Oakland at Pats = crying

THEY WILL BEAT THE SPREAD VEG

*sells tv*

Last week was very weird in terms of W/L; felt like we learned nothing definitive about almost any of these teams in the first two weeks except that the giants suck.

I've read some stuff from nerdier football writers that say Eli has actually not been bad, just every other element of the Giants offense has.

When asked by ESPN in 2013 how many kids he had, Peterson said, “I know the truth, and I’m comfortable with that knowledge.”

same

aaaand....the vikings reverse their decision, place peterson on excempt list #clownshow

http://www.startribune.com/sports/vikings/275388801.html

at 1 a.m. central time! bet it was a fun night in the vikings offices.

"A source close to Goodell told Peter King of TheMMQB that 'Roger has determined that he will be a leader in the domestic-violence space.'"

welcome to domestic-violence space, I am one of the leaders here.

in domestic violence space, no one can hear you scream

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2014/09/17/panthers-announce-greg-hardy-takes-voluntary-leave/

"voluntary leave"

https://twitter.com/tylerbaldwin/status/512348339136757760

jesus fucking christ

sigh

As pointed out on Fansided, if AZ drops Dwyer they'd like pull up Chris Rainey from the practice squad...except Rainey has been previously dismissed from an NFL team because of domestic violence.

Rainey's full on, too. He was stalking women even when he played for the Florida Gators.

3rd AZ backup RB is apparently named Stepfan which i guess is an unconventional spelling of Stephen but i really hope it's pronounced Step-fan.

It is.

that's fantastic

Falcons utterly obliterating the Bucs.

never ever ever kick to hester

Hester looks like 2007 version of himself. Hot damn

put hester in the Hall

Just tied Deion's record. To Prime's credit, he predicted it before the game.

he broke it

Sorry. Broken it not tied

this is an incredible game

i see thursday football is still a brilliant idea

let everyone go home at half time ffs

good god, tampa

bring back schiano

falcons defense was a strong fantasy play this week

I definitely wasn't down for a Tampa and Atlanta mid-week game, but man that is one fugly half time score. The Bucs suck!

I swear sometimes the real world is getting closer every day to becoming like The Onion.

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2203196-peyton-manning-infers-pizza-business-is-good-in-colorado-due-to-legalization

"Pizza Business is Good" or a line out of that article has to be the header for next week.

i switched to high school football and am not regretting it

bobby rainey man

If you don't like watching an entertaining offense hitting on absolutely all cylinders, then I guess this isn't your game. But when the Falcons are on, especially in the Dome, they an offensive machine. I'm enjoying this game quite a bit.

Just don't get anybody (Julio, Ryan et al) hurt.

this might be the worst effort i've ever seen from an nfl team

this doesn't really make sense

the record is 63-0 right

73-0, doable!

http://images.bwbx.io/cms/2014-09-17/feat_nfl39__01__970.jpg

Never thought I'd say this but I'm starting to consider that Schiano may have actually gotten the best out of those guys

not sure i've ever heard roger goodell speak before

he seems kind of dim

He's a moron

three of the first five questions were from nfl network employees

"How can we be more awesome?"
"I'm glad you asked that..."

i feel like there's a good thought piece to be written comparing the NFLs need to control this narrative apart from common sense and with utter derision to the horror and demands of the public and #gamergate

mistakes were made

really earned his 44 mil there

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bx61lvOIcAAdfLD.png

Frank Luntz: "This was language perfection."

haha yeah right buddy

guy in my office was wearing a tim brown raiders jersey today

in road white tho, wtf

I still have mine. Also road white, & tiny ladies' fit. It was a present from Mr Veg when I got out of surgery in 2002. Doesn't fit anymore

Dunno that I would wear it now even if it did.

<3

http://espn.go.com/espn/otl/story/_/id/11551518/how-ray-rice-scandal-unfolded-baltimore-ravens-roger-goodell-nfl

I love the raiders white jerseys. And I'm not a fan of the team. I'll take a jack Tatum, George Atkinson or skip "dr death" Thomas model any day though.

I have a good old black & silver Ken The Snake Stabler jersey that I can wear proudly til the day I die :D

that's what I learned about trying to buy new player jerseys - the old guys won't disappoint you nearly as much

Very true. But if the media scrutiny was the same back in the 70s as it is now, I'm not sure how many Raiders would be Able to play every week. I think Ted Hendricks and John Matuszak made aldon smith and Ray McDonald look like choir boys.

LET ME HAVE THIS

well, if you're okay with Tatum . . . xp

it was a different time, etc, but 30+ years later there's no call for celebrating what he did

rip rob bironas. you were a pretty good kicker.

shit. RIP.

rams up 14 on dallas before the west coast finishes its first bowl of corn flakes

aaaand 21-0 rams on a romo pick 6

http://www.qwertysqoncepts.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/jesse-jackson-crying.jpg

awww romoception, missed it

gronk just ran over like four raiders

i am watching the soccer, my heart just wasnt in it this morning

phl vs was seems like a crazy game. v nice throw and route on that matthews td there

oakland d front totally owning ne. just domination. pats o line so bad. can't run the ball or protect brady at all.

Philly's defense is pretty bad. Washington just ground up clock against them.

Austin Davis has been pretty much flawless, believe it or not

hahahah desean jackson is such an asshole

Jared Cook dropped a wide open touchdown pass in the endzone and decided to shove his QB on the sidelines afterwards

lol @ brady actually blocking a guy

patriots offsense is still bedridden but at least seems to be out of the coma

Jared Cook dropped a wide open touchdown pass in the endzone and decided to shove his QB on the sidelines afterwards

― Matt Armstrong, Sunday, September 21, 2014 3:29 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah this kinda burned me up

would rather have seen chip go for it there

Romo looks a lot better this week, deep ball way way better

Morris Claiborne being a bust is so surprising. Pretty terrible NFL CB at this point.

everyone who's scored in the oakland/NE game is a '--kowski'

WILFORK!

More like forsuck

i know there was no reason whatsoever for wilfork to try and start running back that INT but i still wanted him to do it

derek carr looks like he might be pretty good

oh man FITE on the field in philly

Foles' gold

flacco/steve smith is a great combo

that hit on foles wasn't just late, it was just assault

feel bad for rams and cleveland, so close

blake bortles added to the pyre in jacksonville

Another week another close loss at the last minute. God fucking dammit. All the Browns had to do was get a goddamn first down, Hoyer could not have done any better, how many incomplete passes did he have? three? jesus I am pissed.

yeah hit on foles was low down

this stuff always happens with washington/philly

with forbath's kicking lately, washington being set up for one heartbreaking loss right here right

seattle! completion to wilson. that was hilarious. the wobble on that throw

gotta say philly and washington scored a lot of points for 2 teams starting backup qbs

what do u mean? foles is the starting qb for philly

yeah but...

Foles has starter chops for sure. And Cousins is only a backup on paper, because everyone knows RGIII is a pitiful bust.

every QB is a receiver today

michael floyd is goood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnK-jYzaWtw

South Park/Comedy Central apparently aired this in the 4th quarter of the Iggles/Hatcats game, but only in the DC market.

What is up with the niners in the second half?

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/11565197/colin-kaepernick-san-francisco-49ers-hurled-racial-slur-chicago-bears-lamarr-houston

classy krapernick

well, if you're okay with Tatum . . . xp

― mookieproof, Saturday, September 20, 2014 1:02 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it was a different time, etc, but 30+ years later there's no call for celebrating what he did

― mookieproof, Saturday, September 20, 2014 1:07 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm totally ok with Tatum. The guy was a beast. What the fuck are you talking about?

A clean hit that paralyzed a guy? That shit happens.

drew stanton tricking me into thinking he's not drew stanton before that insane throw reminded me

as a rule, if you have one receiver on that half of the field and there are 6 guys around him, probably someone is open elsewhere

The SF/Arizona game is pleasantly physical

SF is imploding

Nah the refs beat em two weeks in a row is all

i saw the south park thing on tv here during the wash/philly game

there was also a poorly produced ad from the washington team telling you what number to call to get your club level season tickets, quantities are limited. nope

i live for pissed off harbaugh

Kaepernick's a ref?

Yes

oakland has been kinda boned w/ travel huh? @ jets, @ pats and next week a home game in london

BOOOM goodnight denver

yeaaaaaaahh seahawks <3

welp!

wtf was peyton looking at

whoa

damn

wow peyty

peyty still doing that

seahawks burned twice on the same play down the left side

afc champ game 2007 nightmares

yeah you're right

just want to see beast mode run over everyone and win this game with a td

^^^^

beeeeeeast

shouldve called heads

Holy fuck do I love when Manning loses

otm

Albert Brooks on twitter-
That last drive by Peyton Manning was so spectacular I'm buying a Buick

Next tweet - I'm returning the Buick

oakland has been kinda boned w/ travel huh? @ jets, @ pats and next week a home game in london

― johnny crunch, Sunday, September 21, 2014 11:20 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

10,000 more miles than the number 2 team in travel miles this year

travel miles are a huge competitive balance problem in pro sports, drives me crazy

drew stanton tricking me into thinking he's not drew stanton before that insane throw reminded me

― Roberto Spiralli, Sunday, September 21, 2014 10:36 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I guess a solid backup though?

Anyway, how 'bout them Cards?

i am considering fantasy benching roffles for big ivy fitzgerald, that's how off dude looks

ike taylor gonna be on the shelf for a while, ouch

feel like ben heard me

that could be a career ender. brutal.

"Anyway, how 'bout them Cards?"

Bruce Arians impresses me as a coach. Arians seems to be a coach that works what his club does depending on his personnel and the situation instead of being stuck into some "system". I think he has gotten about max production out of the talent he has on the roster. It's a big win as with the big dog Seattle in the same division and at least on paper decent club in SF, you got real competition.

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/11565197/colin-kaepernick-san-francisco-49ers-hurled-racial-slur-chicago-bears-lamarr-houston

classy krapernick

― Mordy, Sunday, September 21, 2014 6:30 PM (4 hours ago)

kap is black

sorry, reposting from pickem thread.

http://cdn1.vox-cdn.com/imported_assets/2390764/wes-welker-gets-laid-out-n.gif

man, i sorta want this guy to just hang up the pads with his concussion issue. at what point does a receiver become a defenseless receiver and then become fair game due to defense making a play on the ball/interception? was he ever a defenseless receiver here?

yea i thought it was bizarre nantz and simms didn't even talk abt that hit as questionable

I hate to laugh at a dude's injury but, geez

http://deadspin.com/lions-linebacker-injures-himself-while-celebrating-1637393868/1637664307/+samer

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ByHD1KJIcAAdM9p.jpg

i....don't object?

you really should tho

i think the problem with press conference outfits is that these guys fail to realize they're not in, like, saint tropez, and instead there's a hideous carpet and industrial gray wastebasket framing their looks.

man, i sorta want this guy to just hang up the pads with his concussion issue. at what point does a receiver become a defenseless receiver and then become fair game due to defense making a play on the ball/interception? was he ever a defenseless receiver here?

― music for cryonic suspension (Hunt3r), Monday, 22 September 2014 15:56 (4 hours ago) Permalink

the seahawks had like 5 hits on defenseless receivers in the 4th, the refs called the game like it was 1993 (which I liked, but is bogus).

I'm surprised Seattle doesn't get more heat for this, they seem to be very adept at the "they can't call holding every time" strategy and I think they are quite good at feeling out what the refs are and aren't calling. there's a certain brilliance to it I must admit.

"Janay Rice is still the one suffering the most because now she has an unemployed husband." -- Steve Bisciotti

@patrick_hruby
Did the Ravens sue ESPN and open themselves to depositions and discovery? No? Then it's all noise aimed at manufacturing public doubt.

yup

ravens heel turn is really something to behold

"Janay Rice is still the one suffering the most because now she has an unemployed husband." -- Steve Bisciotti

― mookieproof, Monday, September 22, 2014 4:54 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Holy shit if he really said this.... Did he?

yeah

amazing game so far

l o l @ j e t s

this isn't even special jets, this is just normal jets

I feel like the Bears are super bowl contenders

the new pieces on defense are so impressive, Cutler looks healthy, they have those receivers

jeffery has dropped a couple gimmes so far

(not the 3rd and goal, he was not open there)

bennett had a horrible drop too lol. I maintain these receivers are good!

damn, Gruden is tearing Geno Smith apart. the dude who likes everyone.

Geno wasn't that bad, they need receivers very badly

he'll probably never be more than like the 13th best QB but that offense has a lot of issues

but that offense has a lot of issues

c+p phrase into any Jets thread for the last howevermany years.

jets offense last night did not look appreciably different to sanchez/schottenheimer

eh i think they look better; the no huddle looks like it can be p effective but they def lack downfield threats

not sure a brian schottenheimer offense has ever had 430 total yds

maybe more effective overall, don't know if i am willing to concede that yet, but the volume of head scratchers definitely rang familiar.

pretty ferocious on the other side of the ball tho. i am very excited about NE getting tenderized by cincy and buffalo before playing the jets on a thursday night. every pats possession is going to be a mini somme

jets secondary could legitimately all be released and replaced by jags and nothing would be different

http://www.psmag.com/navigation/politics-and-law/nfl-football-sports-military-problem-masculine-institutions-90980

pretty ferocious on the other side of the ball tho

^fantastic front 7. the d-line is awe inspiring.

xpost tuned out when she took 538's "same income bracket" sleight of hand at face value

rob bironas tried to run a couple cars off the road before he crashed the other night. i know he was a kicker but i wonder if he "got his bell rung" a few times over the years? apparently he told his wife he was going to bed but instead went out for a drive.

the Rob Bironas story is really bizarre. I wonder what they'll find in his bloodstream ??

def doesn't read like the behaviour of someone in a healthy frame of mind.
scary shit.

somewhat reminiscent of http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=1892359

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2209671-green-bay-packers-fans-blame-olivia-munn-for-aaron-rodgers-poor-play

That's silly, but also I don't mind blaming her for bad things. She's awful.

i hate that narrative, even in jest

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/ByUra4NCYAApDD4.png

http://deadspin.com/the-dolphins-stadium-is-literally-built-on-an-indian-bu-1638547584

"Correction: That's not a squirrel or a horse, that's James Harrison"
i lol'd

that *is* adorably surreal

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-would-nfl-punish-your-infractions-964