RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY week 5 thread RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY RANDY

wait, who's Randy?

rnady maouse

there was not enough domination in that game last nite. are the pats losing their gusto for pounding on shitty teams?

yeah i would've liekd to ahve seen more stepping-on-throats. still, they did drive a wedge between carson and chad so that is pretty kewl!

now that half of Indy's roster is injured/dead and pitt's lost their first game, i'm ready to buy in 100%. (watch them lose next week now)

rndoy 4 mvp btw

yes moss is playing out of his miiiind right now - that jump over the defender's shoulder td catch was so bonkers.

kinda sad in comparison to see ocho cinco dropping balls left and right.

real talk, this is as excited as i've been about football since 2002 and vick's overtime run against the vikings, or the 03 SB win (04 felt kinda ho-hum)

ocho was weird like that last year too, having that insane 3 or 4 game stretch where he was like the god of ballcatching, but then a bunch of games with bad drops and inconsistent play. kinda sums up the bengals in general i guess~

i wonder why Randall Gay doesn't go by Randy.

The only good thing about Brady-to-Moss is that they'll win so many games, they'll be able to take off the last three regular season match-ups and my dominating fantasy football opponents will lose.

a friend and I were discussign this last night, and if the Pats reach 13-0 i guarantee the second string will come out. Belichick is only interested in rings, not records. he's the Mr. T of super bowl jewelry.

CLE @ NE - ne
SEA @ PIT - pit
CAR @ NO - no
DET @ WAS - was
NYJ @ NYG - nyg
MIA @ HOU - Hou
ATL @ TEN - Tn
JAC @ KC - kc
ARI @ STL - ari
TB @ IND - ind
SD @ DEN - DENVER DO U C
BAL @ SF - SF
CHI @ GB - GB
DAL @ BUF - DALLAS U MAD

a friend and I were discussign this last night, and if the Pats reach 13-0 i guarantee the second string will come out. Belichick is only interested in rings, not records. he's the Mr. T of super bowl jewelry.

totally disagree. belichick is looking like he wants to destroy the league this year (see going for it on 4th down w/the game already in hand v chargers). 18-0 is like 1mx better than the plain old super bowl and 1000% worth the risk to go down as THE GREATEST TEAM EVAR!!!!

uh 19-0

Did you see the map last night where they polled the nation on who would win between Cincy and NE? THEY EVEN MADE A REFERENCE TO THE 1972 ELECTORAL MAP.

Obviously, Belichick is filming me.

you guys are forgetting something - the brownz

poland

rambo!

chromeo crennel

i don't know how anyone can like the pats after enduring kornheiser's boner for them last night. it took 3 quarters for them to acknowledge there was another team on the field.

this is not the pats fault.

Cincy were the supporting cast in that game. they were behind after about 2 minutes and did little worthy of report for the rest of the game. the Bengals players who would typically stand out in a game were anonymous. dude might be a gigantic tool with a man crush on Brady, but he can only report what's on the field.

kornheiser must go tho agreed. his whole jokey pop-culture references schitk is completely unacceptable.

i watched it on mute.

browns game could actually be interesting - is it first time browns have played pats since romeo took over? homeboy can put a defensive gameplan together~

kornheiser's funny every now and then when he actually relaxes and just bullshits a little instead of being in that mode where he has to constantly yak and try to be entertaining in order to justify his presence. mostly he is horrific tho, ya~

yeah maybe tho im thinking the uh talent gap might be a bit much to overcome - and im sure belichick is amped to fuck wit his old employee's hed xp

jokey pop-culture references schitk

this is definitely what irritates me the most. he mentioned some band last night...i wish i could remember. anyway, i wanted to throw something at the screen

yeah espn was all we need someone to appeal to the irreverent myspace generation - oh i know lets get this 60 y/o weirdo

i am so excited i am shaking like jesse spano, jho will u hold my hand

roberto were you thinking of when they were playing springsteen w/brady on screen and he said "that guy is THE BOSS of the nfl"? cause that was preeettty stupid.

yah dont worry canky i got u

clearly the following WILL occur!!~

CLE @ NE - ne
SEA @ PIT - sea
CAR @ NO - car
DET @ WAS - det
NYJ @ NYG - nyg
MIA @ HOU - mia
ATL @ TEN - ten
JAC @ KC - jax
ARI @ STL - ari
TB @ IND - ind
SD @ DEN - den i suppose
BAL @ SF - sf
CHI @ GB - CHI!
DAL @ BUF - DAL

I'm not making my picks this week until at least tomorrow when the DVOA comes out. I am pretty stoked about the first week of opponent adjusted nfl dungeon master's screen but am only excited enough to be kind of magic missile about it not pill addicted SBTB strippers about it

yeah i am super curious abt the opponent adjusted rankings. no way is the TB defense really 3rd best

good sign for the bears: the cubs are playing in the NLDS that same day so no one will notice when my prediction is proven rong and farv throws for 5 tds and runs for another 2.

RANDY RHODES

CLE @ NE - ne
SEA @ PIT - pit
CAR @ NO - no
DET @ WAS - det!
NYJ @ NYG - nyg
MIA @ HOU - hou!
ATL @ TEN - ten!
JAC @ KC - kc
ARI @ STL - ari
TB @ IND - ind
SD @ DEN - sd!
BAL @ SF - bal!
CHI @ GB - gb
DAL @ BUF - dal

no arrows!

well also the opponent adjusted rankings should help make the point that new england is crushing loser ass butt teams so far (although yes 25% of each of those teams' stats have been from getting their loser ass butt crushed by the pats)

crushing losers is meaningful -its waht good teams do - especially when its by 25ppg

id be more suspicious of indy barely beating two mediocre teams

NE supposedly had a tough opening schedule - their main divisional rivals on the road, and then two supposed playoff contenders in the next three. there's no doubt that they've been lucky with the way certain teams have fallen off this season, but you can't argue with the consistency in scoring and not conceding points. you can probably play with statistics until you make the Pats look like the worst team in the league, but that won't make it so.

the Browns game is a horrible banana skin for them. it's one of thoe situations where you get no credit for the win, but you get pilloried if you lose. and the up-and-down way Cleveland have been playing so far - anythign could happen. the Cowboys game is obviously the one people are looking forward to as being the first 'proper' test, but however well Romo is playing, if the Pats bring their game like they have done consistently so far this season, i don't know why anyone thinks Dallas will be any competition for them.

FO has this whole thing about how truly great teams beat lesser teams decisively, like "stomps" versus "guts"

i buy into this theory depending on how it applies to my favorite/least favorite teams at that particular moment~

i'm not worried about HOW indy wins anything, since they proved me to be a charlatan and a jackass last year with my constant chicken littling abt their defense. but 20 of their starters are suddenly, like, dead. that's kind of a big deal (snorg.jpg)

to your credit their d stepping up like that in the playoffs was pretty much the strangest thing thats ever happened in the nfl

You guys, it's not worth creating a "Kickass Media" thread for, so I'm just going to use this thread to say how much I'm enjoying Keyshawn at E$PN. No Irvin screaming, no Sharpe speech impediment, just quiet confidence and decent analysis. (Granted, I haven't seen every minute he's been on the air.)

ok you two we'll give you jobs but... you have to work together. and bill you have to wear one of keyshawn's suits ok.

anyone else think cowher is weird during analysis, like he's about to crack up laughing or punch someone? boomer is tempting fate with him, i tells ya! lol @ his comment to shannon sharpe re: griese: "when was the last time the guy played? i think his last completion was to you, LOL!"

i am so excited i am shaking like jesse spano

ilu Ade!

hey horseshoe - i'm glad i was wrong about the Bills going winless. i thought Edwards looked pretty decent on Sunday. 2nd place in AFC East is there for the taking!

the Browns game is a horrible banana skin for them. it's one of thoe situations where you get no credit for the win, but you get pilloried if you lose

That's more an issue for the talking heads than for the team though. You get exactly one W's worth of credit for the win, which is what they count up when they determine who gets home field through the playoffs.

i know, right? AFC East is the shittiest lol. go Bills.

I didn't watch the Chargers game last week, so I don't know the exact particulars, but it seems weird as hell that Tomlinson can have something like 112 yards at half time and only get 132 for the game. That is EXACTLY one of the things that went wrong in that game versus NE last year in the playoffs. Why is Phillip Rivers throwing the ball 42 times? It seems to a moron like me (34-28 this year) that you need to RUN THE FREAKIN BALL. When the Chargers were in overdrive last year, Rivers was throwing the ball maybe 20 times a game.

who do you think the pats are going to lose to this year? they're going to lose at some point, i don't really believe they'll go undefeated anymore than i believed that the bills would go winless so they're gonna lose at least once. but to whom?

i'm looking at the dolphins game in miami the week after going dallas.

oh yeah, i mean to say that i don't think they'll lose to any of the teams who look like they should have the best chance to beat them. i think it will be a team like miami or philly or baltimore.

yeah obv it just takes one off game so the chances of them actually blanking the league are wicked low. as i recall when the 49ers had their 1 defeat season they lost to pitt who sucked then. indy in indy will be though tho.

i don't see the Pats not scoring in any games this season, which means they'll have to be outscored. and i agree that a loss is more likely to come against a team they're not 100% focused for - so i think they'll beat Indy, although if Manning spends all game throwing bombs behind the NE corners like in the 4th quarter of the championship game, you can never tell. likewise, although Dallas have the offensive weapons, i think the Pats will be too primed for the game. it'd take a big scoring team like Cincinnati (albeit later in the season and with a fit D). Eagles is a definite possibility, although that would seem more likely if that was in Philly.

regardless, i stand by my prediction that even if they get through 13 undefeated, they will put out a second string that loses one of the last games, maybe the very last one at the Giants.

Eagles is a definite possibility

Shoot, if you wanna talk about banana peels...

I didn't watch the Chargers game last week, so I don't know the exact particulars, but it seems weird as hell that Tomlinson can have something like 112 yards at half time and only get 132 for the game. That is EXACTLY one of the things that went wrong in that game versus NE last year in the playoffs. Why is Phillip Rivers throwing the ball 42 times? It seems to a moron like me (34-28 this year) that you need to RUN THE FREAKIN BALL. When the Chargers were in overdrive last year, Rivers was throwing the ball maybe 20 times a game.

-and this, in a nutshell, is the patented norv turner "last thing you'd expect"(tm) offense. what? running back's going crazy? shut him down! go to the air: it's the last thing they'd expect! qb getting killed? keep going to the air: it's the last thing they'd expect!

wtf I cannot make these last three picks without augmented nerd force and FO is down wtf wtf

these picks being

seattle @ pittsburgh
baltimore @ san fran
detroit @ washington

I'm in the lead in the office, I don't want to f this up

Steelers better "on average" but also more inconsistent. I'm giving it to them on being at home and coming off a loss on the road. Tomlin's going to ride their ass this week in prep, he's got something to prove, Holmgren probably gave his starters the week off for winning.

Ravens are old, SF is dumb. Can Dilfer make anything happen behind that O-line? No. Can he dump it off enough times for 3.4 yards to keep Stover from winning it for the Ravens? Depends on Nolan's game plan more than anything. Game is garbage anyway, on games I consider garbage I like to take the wacky option, therefore the Forty-Dilfers to win it by 4.

Lions @ Skins - God, the Skins. Eagles tore the Lions apart because they do actually know how to score when they aren't being owned by a half decent pass rush. Skins couldn't win hosting the Giants because of red zone performance; they won't outscore the Lions either.

SD @ Denver - Norv Turner sucks and also Shawne Merriman gives about half a shit since he was in-studio for NFL Total Access last night wearing a pinstripe suit. Shanahan by two Elams and a filthy gadget play.

Brains Johnson in the office sez TB to bring it to Indy in the dome. I say TB still runs a variation of the Cover 2 and Harrison being out couldn't even save a team with two of the best man corners in the AFC if not the league. Also, dome.

GB, duh
NE, ugh
Dallas, urk
AZ, duh (anybody playing the rams is a duh which is just sad)
TN, duh
NYFG, duh

Houston over Miami, trent green will be sacked 4 times, not a blowout by any means though which should help take some of the glossy sheen off of Schaub, our lady romo of 2007

NO over David Carr. Hopefully the Aints spent that extra week in prep looking at tapes of themselves sucking and going out and working on it, otherwise SP is a hippie and they deserve their season.

KC over Jags because apparently the more the starters get beat up, the better the Chiefs play. And even more starters are beat up this week than last week. Herm uses his IR exactly the opposite of the coaches from Tuna's tree, he confuses you by saying everybody's got broken lungs and knee cancer, then plays all the hurt people.

CLE @ NE - Browns couldn't put pressure on a lol old mcnair until the end of the game. Their DB's are below average. Still can't stop the run. Only chance for the Browns is to go deep, early and often and hope the game is still close midway through the 1st Q. Belichick has a reputation for cheating btw.
SEA @ PIT - Steely McBeam
CAR @ NO - it doesn't matter, we are all diminished that these two are playing each other this weekend
DET @ WAS - Washington
NYJ @ NYG - Giants had more sacks than Kenny G last weekend so I will call them the NYKennyG's.
MIA @ HOU - oilers win this one
ATL @ TEN - ;_;
JAC @ KC - :-(
ARI @ STL - ;(
TB @ IND - are there any teams from pre 1980 playing this weekend?
SD @ DEN - SD
BAL @ SF - Sf because Stover can't kick anymore
CHI @ GB - madden wins
DAL @ BUF - Dallas

bulger is riding the pine this week in favor of fritatta

(WBZ) BOSTON Things are going so well for the New England Patriots these days it's hard to find mistakes.

But someone made one on the team's flight to Cincinnati, according to the Boston Globe.

The paper reports that no one noticed the in-flight movie, the 2003 Al Pacino film "The Recruit" also starred Tom Brady's ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan.

As soon as her name appeared in the opening credits, someone reportedly had the movie replaced.

Moynahan gave birth to Brady's son John Edward Thomas on Wednesday, August 22.

Moynahan, 36, who is originally from Longmeadow, Massachusetts, announced in February that she was pregnant with her first child. The announcement came only a few months after she and Brady ended their three year relationship.

Brady is now dating model Gisele Bundchen.

Moynahan is a former model who has starred in such films as "Coyote Ugly," "I, Robot" and "The Sum of All Fears." Her television credits include "Sex and the City" and the ABC series "Six Degrees."

lol

Tom Brady can never watch "I, Robot" again! Ha, his life sucks.

I wonder if Belichick (played by Al Pacino) stuck that film in there to test Brady's (played by Colin Ferrel) reaction.

the whole story is a cover-up for the fact that the film was actually stopped and replaced because it is about SPYING and ESPIONGAE and how it DOESN'T PAY

CLE @ NE - another professional dismantling by the Patriots.
SEA @ PIT - v intriguing. 'Hawks look ok recently. i think the last game was an aberration for the Steelers, though, and they should win this.
CAR @ NO - Brees won't win this game playing badly, but Carr might. i predict more rubbish and a Panthers win.
DET @ WAS - Detroit needed a lot of help to beat the Bears. 'Skins won't be so generous.
NYJ @ NYG - Giants keep winning
MIA @ HOU - Houston. Miami aren't as bad as they are making themselves look, but they probably won't fix that in this game.
ATL @ TEN - Titans.
JAC @ KC - Chiefs. they have a little momentum now. i'm sure it'll drop off soon, though.
ARI @ STL - just can't see what Rams could do to win a game right now. fuckin' Bulger, waste of a third round pick. i panicked when the QBs started to go.
TB @ IND - after last season, this could swing on whether Bob Sanders plays. i have to go Colts but there's a real chance of an upset here.
SD @ DEN - Chargers. i don't like either of these teams right now, but i think SD have started to paper over the cracks.
BAL @ SF - despite cracks showing, Ravens D to score more points than either offense.
CHI @ GB - Bears! madness, i know, but i got a feelin'.
DAL @ BUF - Cowboys.

ronnie brown is the new lt, dudes.

It appears that way.

Why couldn't it be Maurice Jones-Drew though?!

jones-drew is more nu-westbrook.

Brains Johnson has the Dolphins in the next game but I just don't see them getting the win. then again garbage = wacky so maybe I should adjust my stance

or rather ronnie brown is the 2007 stephen jackson in the sense that he is on pace to have a hueg year for total yards, but no one will realize until 2008 fantasy drafts.

the dolphins are awful. texans w/o andre johnson are also awful. i wouldn't risk a headache over that game.

thinking hard about football minutiae and staying the office pick-em champ is one of the things that's keeping me from getting a headache

i wish Steven Jackson was the 2007 Steven Jackson. i came out of the draft with Jackson, Westbrook, Bulger and Andre Johnson. now i'm reduced to picking between Muhsin and Donte' and am seriously weighing up starting Kevin Faulk. if anyone else has been as unlucky with injuries as me, have a badge.

ok then pick the texans. dolphins are the real worst team in the nfl. shoddy offense, aging defense (whose real achilles heal is the young players that have to play). it'll be something like 21/17-14/13.

the only way the fins win is another super human game from ronnie + an absolute stinker from schaub and nem.
trent green is no longer a 'manager of the game.'

I don't know when the Dolphin bye week is, but Beck will probably be starting on the other side of it.

THE FUTURE.

i was gonna wait until tomorrow's injury reports come out but screw it, i'm bored.

CLE @ NE - i'm no football judas, pats.
SEA @ PIT - pissburgh snaps back after last week.
CAR @ NO - hey, carolina isn't that good either, i'll take the lousy team playing at home.
DET @ WAS - see above only substitute mediocre for lousy, washington.
NYJ @ NYG - nyg ugh, they gotta play this game? i'll take the giants.
MIA @ HOU - houston.
ATL @ TEN - tennersee.
JAC @ KC - coin flip, i'm not sure if jacksonville is as good as i think they are or if kc is as bad as i think they are. when in doubt, take the home team, kc.
ARI @ STL - bulger's broken ribs are finally keeping him out, right? who's his back up? no matter, arizona.
TB @ IND - proving once again there's more than corn in indiana. colts.
SD @ DEN - the winner will not be the viewing public, that much i'm sure. both teams started out running the ball down their opponents throats on sunday then mysteriously abandoned the run. both lost. this could end in a tie. i'll go with denver.
BAL @ SF - is alex smith still out? if so i'll take the nevermore ravens.
CHI @ GB - i should have bought cheese curds at the farmer's market last weekend, i won't make the same mistake this week. green bay.
DAL @ BUF - barring early season snow fall, dullest.

Frerotte is starting for the Rams, Alex Smith might be out for the rest of the season for the 49ers if he has the surgery.

GUS FREROTTE IS STILL PLAYING FOOTBALL WTF

but may be better remembered by an incident in which he injured himself by ramming his head into a padded cement wall in celebration of a touchdown in a 7-7 tie against the New York Giants on Sunday Night Football, giving himself a concussion.

http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1010/156705.1010.A.jpg

Even if he doesn't have surgery, Alex Smith is going to miss at least two games.

brownie, that was EXACTLY what i was thinking. mark rypien is backing up tony romo.

we have a saying in washington: when you get on the gus bus, the last stop is the playoffs.

...but, hell: heath shuler's in congress, so what do i know?

CLE @ NE - NE
SEA @ PIT - I don't think the o-line will look as bad as last week. Pitt
CAR @ NO - Banish Carolina already. No Deuce so everything is on Reggie. NO I hope.
DET @ WAS - Kitna's Kats
NYJ @ NYG - Both NY teams are ass, but the Giants at least sometimes show some D. Giants
MIA @ HOU - I was wrong about Ronnie Brown, but it won't matter. Texans
ATL @ TEN - Vince Young has fun. Titans
JAC @ KC - Jax always plays down to the competition. KC
ARI @ STL - Arizona showed some semblance of life last Sunday. The Rams are already dead.
TB @ IND - Indy
SD @ DEN - The San Diego collapse continues. Broncs
BAL @ SF - I so hope that Baltimore is falling apart. Brian Billick deserves all the pain and suffering he gets. SF
CHI @ GB - Brett Farve has fun. Pack
DAL @ BUF - Dallas

lol one of my new coworkers is cousins with the guy who's starting in place of petitgout this week! and I was just dogging on them because I say even though the Colts have like 4 big starters out the Bucs are missing their starting RB and starting LT - which sounds like a certain game last week

i wonder how reggie bush is gonna fare the rest of this season. i can't tell if the guy just can't deal with the typical rb load in the nfl or if NO can't get him open or both. the guy is probably more dave meggett/eric metcalf than anything else. maybe they should turn him into a slot receiver full-time.

i haven't seen a lot of reggie bush but in the 20 games he's played he's had 12 or more carries 4 times, it's hard to get in a rhythm when you don't get the ball. the one time he had 20 carries he gained over 100 yards on the ground. i wouldn't be ready to call him a bust yet but he's going to have to shoulder the load from here on out.

Titans -- I've got a feeling that Atlanta will play them close.

KC -- The Chiefs are at home and I really have no idea week to week if the good Jaguar team will show up or not. Either way, I think these clubs are about the same.

INDY -- I think the Colts can weather having Harrison and Addai out more than not having Rob Morris (who is gone for the year) or Bob Sanders. Kenton Keith who played back about half the game last week looked pretty good. Indy has some pretty good TEs with Utecht and Fletcher, so if they want they will be able to put Clark out more on the slot. I haven't seen Tampa play.

Cards - The wheels have come off with the RAMS. They are benching Bulger only because they cannot bench their offensive line.

NE - What the hey, the Cards beat the Steelers last week, anything could happen. (Probably not.)

Carolina - I have no idea who is going to win this game, but the Saints have looked pretty crud so far.

Giants - Where the heck did that D come from? You know the thing that has impressed me most about the last two Giants wins is that they have been laying off the dumb penaltys. I think getting rid of Luke Pettigout is good for +40 yards of offense as that guy would get more false starts and holds than the entire Colt offensive line in a month. I have not seen the Jets play, but I don't think I am missing much.

Steelers
Broncos

'Skins - Detroit winning on the road again...I'll have to see it to believe it.

49ers - I'll go with SF defense and Dilfer at home over the Ravens.

Green Bay - The Bears are heading into hybernation early this year.

Dallas

w/r/t to reggie, they'll probably give him 10-12 straight handoffs up the middle/off tackle, 5-6 tosses and like 5-6 swing passes/screens that are effectively 'runs.'

tampa reminds me a lot of the titans w/r/t to the colts, scrappy qb who is accurate and mobile, two decent, fresh running backs, good physical defense.

+ the injuries= a close game, i think.

37-25 after a 7 for 14 pick last week. Pleh.

<i>if anyone else has been as unlucky with injuries as me, have a badge.
-- Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 3 October 2007 18:42</i>

1. (7) Rudi Johnson
3. (39) Deuce McAllister
4. (58) Terry Glenn
8. (122) LaMont Jordan

Please send me my badge.

New England / Cleveland - Alright, already; I believe in Cleveland's offense. So this'll be a high scoring New England win.

Seattle / Pittsburgh - The Steelers are the obvious pick: tough loss, playing at home, looks like a better team... I'd like to go against the grain and call an upset, but I guess I'll pick Pitt. This should be a really good game.

Carolina / Nawlins - This looked like a good game at the start of the season, didn't it? NO, in a grind-it-out "emotional" win. Still no playoffs.

Detroit / Washington - I'm on the Raiders and Lions bandwagons this year but Washington has had a pretty stingy defense. Still picking Lions, but Skins could revolt and make this a statement game.

New York / New Jersey - Good mostly because it means I get to watch two other non-ny teams that day. My hearts not really in it, but I'll pick the Gints.

Miami / Houston - Not buying Houston as a team to beat. Miami

Atlanta vs Ti'aaaaaaaans - Tennessee Tennessee Tennessee! My survival pick! Don't let me down, boys!

Jacksonville vs Kansas City - We all lose. Jacksonville, I guess.

Arizona / Rams - St. Louis is officially the worst team in the league.

Tampa Bay / Indy - Fuck it, I'm picking Tampa Bay in the upset based on nothing but stats. STATS, DO YOU HEAR ME?

San Diego / Denver - The Chargers keep losing must wins but I HAVE to hope that they can bring an a-game to this; otherwise it's gonna be open mutiny. Bolts.

Baltimore / San Francisco - Three words: Dill. Fer. Ravens.

Chicago / Green Bay - ESPN'S NFL Primetime had a great moment where Ditka, when asked if the Bears had to stay with Griese on the field replied "Well, that other guy, I forget his name..." "Grossman?" "Yeah, him; they can't play him..."
Rex is so bad he's forcing Ditka to fake brain damage. And his backups not much better. HAVING FUN!

Dallas / Buffalo - God, I shoulda hung onto this for the survival pick. Dallas, obviously.

fuck, broadcast tv schedule for chicago is:

cbs early game giants/jets
cbs late game broncos/chargers

fox early tba (not even listed as NFL FOOTBALL GAME TBA)
fox late tampa/indy

gotta go to a bar to watch the pats, i hate that. i don't have the $$$ for that. fuckers.

and dammit, a friend locked herself out so i had to run over to her place with her spare keys and when i got back one (or both) of the wiener dogs i'm watching had somehow got hold of one of my oven mitts, pulled it to the floor and pissed on it. thanks dogs.

dang I took the titans too, fork :/

Safe picks seem like Titans, New England, Giants, Dallas... maybe Arizona and Green Bay. And Indy if you swing that way, but I'm being contrary. Everything else could go either way in my mind.

i'm not sold on the giants being a safe pick.

oven mitt = threat

maybe, not quite as obvious as a black hand (or paw) painted on my front door but dachshunds are breed known for their nuanced subtleties.

i wonder how reggie bush is gonna fare the rest of this season. i can't tell if the guy just can't deal with the typical rb load in the nfl or if NO can't get him open or both.

We haven't had a chance to see if he can take the load yet, since he keeps getting hit behind the line of scrimmage. Deuce wasn't having much luck either. And Brees is "not playing well."

When all of your skill players slump at once, the problem's probably the O-line. Until that's sorted, we Just Won't Know about Reggie.

In survival news, I'm probably going with Tennessee as well. Arizona's pretty tempting, but would break my No Road Teams Ever Period survival rule.

it wasn't a patriots oven mitt by any chance?

http://spln.imageg.net/graphics/product_images/p733196reg.jpg

i bit it in my survival league last week. THANKS SAN DIEGO!!!

on the plus side i'm over 88% in the college pick 'em league.

xpost, no, red one from crate and barrel that i got when i had an all red kitchen at my last apartment.

I'm actually leaning toward Green Bay for survival now...

i took dallas.

other than the teams favored by double digits (ne, dal, indy) i really think 'zona and baltimore are leadboxpipelock or whatever picks this week...

so far i'm 37-25 against the spread this season..

Can't believe Seattle is getting six @ Pittsburgh. Why does nobody think Seattle is any good?

they're on the road playing a team that prior to last week was being touted as one of the top 3 teams in the league. so they're getting 3 points for being on the road, and probably another point/point and a half because most of the action would be on pittsburgh. the spread isn't just about who is better, relatively. it's main function is to make sure a somewhat even amount is wagered on each side.

CLE @ NE - NE
SEA @ PIT - PIT
CAR @ NO - NO
DET @ WAS - DET
NYJ @ NYG - NYG
MIA @ HOU - HOU
ATL @ TEN - TENN
JAC @ KC - KC
ARI @ STL - StL
TB @ IND - Indy
SD @ DEN - SD (totally unsure about this one)
BAL @ SF - BAL
CHI @ GB - GB
DAL @ BUF - Dallas

Brains Johnson in the office sez TB to bring it to Indy in the dome. I say TB still runs a variation of the Cover 2 and Harrison being out couldn't even save a team with two of the best man corners in the AFC if not the league. Also, dome.

plus petitgout is down for the season, which leaves who-the-fuck-knows on dwight freeney for the whole game. i like the indy defense in this game imho~

I think the Colts can weather having Harrison and Addai out more than not having Rob Morris (who is gone for the year) or Bob Sanders.

then again this is pretty otm

looks like travis henry might have a one-year suspension coming up for a repeat violation of the drug policy!

he's trying to landis it right now, but i'm guessing it won't work

why does the nfl test for weed? theyre just fucking themselves. makes no sense.

ILNFL pix 'em! composite predictions:

CLE @ NE - NE (100%)
SEA @ PIT - PIT (92%)
CAR @ NO - NO (73%)
DET @ WAS - WAS (58%)
NYJ @ NYG - NYG (100%)
MIA @ HOU - HOU (73%)
ATL @ TEN - TEN (92%)
JAC @ KC - KC (82%)
ARI @ STL - ARI (92%)
TB @ IND - IND (92%)
SD @ DEN - DEN (55%)
BAL @ SF - TIE
CHI @ GB - GB (82%)
DAL @ BUF - (92%)

yesimbored.

i'll let you guess which way the last one went. you may won't be surprised.

Peter Schrager, FoxSports.com: “Brenda Warner alert! The Cardinals take on the Rams in St. Louis this weekend. I’d be shocked if FOX didn’t give us 10-12 shots of the starting (er, backup) quarterback’s wife. It’ll be like 1999 all over again. Minus the whole Rams winning or being a competent team on offense thing, of course.”

so true, thank god its blacked out here

I won't be able to see the beginning of the Bills' Monday night game because I'll be teaching. I have decided that this bodes well for their chances because I've caught all of their games so far this season and they have sucked ass.

[20:34] HELLA LIKE DYING: if mccown plays for one more second for the rest of the season, i will shit so hard that al davis will feel it

have dudes heard the rumor of andy reid stepping down/taking a leave of absense or whatever?? i hope this is true because then i can go off about THE NEW YORK GINATS SAKKING ANDY REID INTO RETIREMENT, AMIRITE!!!!

lol giants

oh man motherfucking skins and ravens splitting the afternoon into two unwatchable bullshit halves with no alternative

fuck this market on days like this

I *heart* you MoJo Drew!

Also, lol @ Larry Johnson. u stink.

"Tony Gonzalez makes chicken salad at the fifty-yard line"

JAX @ KC here. I have no idea what the above statement made by the play-by-play guy means.

Making good receptions = making chicken salad, I guess.

man i hate chicken salad.

I hate to see Trent Green hurt again, but that was the stupidest block I've ever seen a QB make.

the jets are boring, but laverneus coles is awesome.

wtf is wrong with the giants

that's it, I'm getting Sunday Ticket

hey at least we all have chi-gb tonight.

with the added bonus of Fun Favre.

I'm sorry, Tom! Giants' running game looks good, at least.

guys, every week the Pats play awesome I lose a little mmore of my will to live.

also, I am drinking the lone beer in my entire house. ;_;

I'm not looking forward to 3.5 hours of Madden talking about how much fun Favre will be having.

jesus, Jets just returned Giants kickoff after TD for a TD. these are the Jets!!! the Bills beat them last week!!!

leon washington is kind of a baller, dudes.

leon washington is kind of really a baller, dudes.

omg Randy Cross talked extensively about his cankles just now!

shoutout to Ade, clearly

guys, every week the Pats play awesome I lose a little mmore of my will to live.

your will to live = currently unthreatened. this is pretty poor all round. Pats can't punt, for a start, which is only being exposed now that Brady is having an average game. CURSE YOU SAUERBRUN!

oh good. I just saw the score at the end of the first half and was disheartened.

Jaysus, it hurts me to watch these Saints. Reggie Bush is useless as a running back -- he hits the pocket and drops like a rock.

lol Chad Pennington

calling a timeout on 4th and Goal at :57 in the 4th Quarter to go for an unnecessary touchdown: C or D?

turning it over and then having your defense score on the very next play: C or D?

AARON ROSS GUYS AMIRITEE

yeah, he had a great game.

also, dallas clark is a good one.

the Colts D looks pretty impressive. I haven't gotten to watch the Colts all season. it's nice.

GODDAMN THIS FOX ROBOT

saints meltdown argh i don't know if i should bitch about crazy poorly thrown passes or constant high school dropped ones

"this is just Tony Dungy football" suck on that, Gruden!!!

aw Drew Brees in postgame press conference looks like he wants to die. :(

Thorpe's looking like a pretty great return man.

DA with 3 first half interceptions and then a winslow fumble and it's returned for a TD and i want to punch Tom Brady

we hold the Patriots to a field goal on their opening drive, get the ball back and get to the Pats one yard line and...

Dan Dierdorf wants to sleep with every member of the Patriots.

brownie OTM. :(

I don't get why the colts didn't call a timeout earlier in that drive and try for a TD before the field goal.

dear coach gibbs,

please continue using mike sellers often. dude is a freakng savage and he eats children.

thanks.

jqh

WHAT IS THE POINT OF TONY SIRAGUSA?

also, apparently it doesn't matter if 57 Colts are injured.

both games on here now are blowouts, same with the sox/angels game. so bored.

i'm watching the Ravens god help me.

Siragasso sea is pointless

Pam Oliver is turning into a transsexual and I'm turned on :/

she is not you take that back brownie i love her!

i saw her today for five seconds and it's all true. So glam.

MY EYES DO NOT DECEIVE :/

i am actually happy, cbs switched to 49ers/ravens.

although i've had 8 beers. TRANNY BEER GOGGLES

yay!!! cbs2 chicago switching away from Denver/San Diego blow out to a more competative game!!!!

BOOOOOOO!!!!!! THEY'RE SWITCHING TO THE SF/BALTIMORE GAME!!!!
At half time one of the cbs yahoos said "san francisco is setting offensive football back 50 years."

watching blow out or watching ugly game, which would you prefer?

i'm turning to fox.

glam does not equal man

WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE GOOSE'S PLAYING HISTORY???

GO SF

Dilfer? I HARDLY KNEW HER

ugly always wins over blowouts in my house.

horseshoe it's all true/Oliver is more like me than you

I know the TB defense must be tired, but this Keith kid can play.

ILU BROWNIE!

dig reggie wayne's wilting stay in bounds move

did h just say uglies always give blow jobs at his house?

no, that's what the backseat of the car is for.

lol fox: "remember our yellow line is unofficial" i.e. RONG

whoa SD had a total of THREE receptions by a wr today, is that a record?

i doubt it, i've seen tommy hodson/marc wilson era pats complete less than 10 passes in a game.

but maybe.

i guess what i'm saying is i don't know shit.

I lurve you Deshawn Wynn!

i didn't start wynn. ;_;

(xxxxp)...plus all 3 recepts by the same guy! where is the tim kirkjian of the nfl?

THROW TO DRIVER ALREADY, FAVRE.

STOP CED BENSON GB D/ST!!!!

i'm down by like 19 points.

"playing like a kid again..." good lord, bob costas.

Jaysus, it hurts delights me to watch these Saints.

Off-topic, but is Beowulf supposed to look like a shitty videogame or do they just not realize how bad their cgi is?

every time this guy Poppinga does something I think they're talking about that chick from Boy Meets World.

lol

i've turned the sound off, listening to motorhead, clorox girls, nazi death camp, dusty sprinfield, bunker hill mix right now.

wow, green bay oughta be embarrassed. i have their d/st so i hope to hell they return this kick off.

yeah I don't understand how the Bears ended up leading?

lots of penalties and general bad play by gb.

bears played like shit too but came on strong in the 4th.... wtf now?

Brett must have stopped having fun early in the 3rd quarter.

ba-dum tsch!

lmbo

i got 12 from 13 today! i deserve some kind of parade.

first we have to have the parade for deion recognizing that he has bad grammar

Yay I like football again! Go Chargers!

i wanted to watch the pats game so a friend and i went to this stupid bar where the season pass is - but there was no where to sit so we had the worst idea evar: yoo guys i went to buffalo wild wings yesterday!!!!!! omg that is the strangest place in the whole world - sort of a purgatory/death star vibe and everyone is jets fans. and the food - we got a sampler thingy of onion rings motz sticks nachos and (boneless wtf) wings - it was soooo gross. how the fuck do you fuck up a mozzarella stick? they did have many many large tvs tho.

also the beers are 23oz - which could lead to some hilarious hyjinx if you dont realize it till after you drink them and it's mid-afternoon.

"i did not realize this big beer i was drinking was a big beer."

everyone is jets fans

ahahaha so that's where they all are!

everyone is jets fans

ahahaha so that's where they all both are!

no srsly the beers didnt look that big

Marketing genius. "BUFFALO WILD WINGS: You won't realize how big it is until it's in you."

that slogan could be used... to market a lot of things...

so, tonight's game...

...well at least I'll miss probably the first three quarters of it...

why's that?

I teach a class Monday and Tuesday nights. it is a bummer but maybe a SMALL MERCY this week.

I have missed krazy kornheiser antics all season!

awwww.

The new WFMU schedule has my favorite show on Monday nights now, so the game will have a good soundtrack.

Who's on Monday nights?
Also: this game will not be much fun.
Also: Yay Chargers! Wake up gentlemen!
Also: Frowny face Nawlins.

no cable and no money to go to a bar so i'll miss the game this week.

*Spoiler*

The Cowboys will win.

Who's on Monday nights?

Scott Williams moved there from Friday afternoons.

I honestly can't remember the last time I saw a game take place in Buffalo.

i think this game will be plenty fun! explain your reasoning, tofu.

Buffalo's in throwback unis - ALL BETS R OFF!

I WOULD HAVE SEX WITH ALL THIS MARSHAWN

Trickery!

Bills pick and runback..omglol!

Buffalo's only enemy now is teh clockz.

omglol has now become omgwtf!!

'course, the Cowboys have been slow in the first half all season.

espn won't load for me and i still don't have cable so i'm relying on ilnfl for updates. i take it buffalo is up?

how's t.o. doing? i'm down 23 in my other league.

The player's doing fine... the QB just hasn't found him in the first quarter.

it's a minute into the 2nd and the cowboys are just now finally getting into buffalo territory.

http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/645/im003732bu0.jpg

ilu pp and tivo! That was hilarious.

this game is great!

HAW

This game is going to break my heart.

O
M
G

Four picks...aaaaag!

lol at romo

lol brad johnson wearing helmet

roffle roffle

nobody circles the wagons etc etc, but with four picks and only a 7pt lead...

In one of my "just for fun" leagues, I've got Tony Romo. "Optimal Line-Up" tells me that I should've played Daunte Culpepper.

lol Raiders on bye

OMFG OMFG OMFG

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I MISS THE FIRST HALF!!!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

GUYS TELL ME WHAT I MISSED!

oh i dunno, this game isn't any fun.

Romo picked 4 times
Bills DEF is full of replacements, yet playing like a top five squad
When Romo passes to one of his own team, it's Witten
Kornheiser is having a hard time talking because his whole gameplan tonight was to kiss Romo's ass

GUYS TELL ME WHAT I MISSED!

Throwback mojo!

HOW BOUT THAT KELSAY PICK SIX I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THIS KELSAY DUDE IS I KISS YOU ALL!!!

ROGERMEXICO OTM THOSE HELMETS ARE THE HOTTTTNESSSSS

With 8:48 to go in the 3rd, it's Buffalo 24, Dallas 13...

...and Buffalo's O has scored 3 points.

guys I may explode.

Why in the name of all that's holy do you call a reverse on 3rd and 1?

Play-action, fine, but a slow-developing reverse???

yeah, that was nonsensical. earlier I was kind of feeling like kissing Dick Jauron on the mouth, but now not so much.

ok no one cares but i love deon anderson cuz hes from uconn and despite being a cowboy

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

oh for fuck's sake

AM I MAKING THIS GAME UP IN MY HEAD???

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!1!1111!eleventy!1!!

romo is sleeping, our world is his nightmare

rogermexico, did you see Thurman and Jim Kelly?? <3 <3 <3

Thurman remains one handsome man and OMGWTF NOOOOOOOO... so close to another pick

Thurman remains one handsome man

that is exactly what my sister just texted me!

also, yeah, that McGee near-interception was a heartbreaker. but the dude's having a pretty solid game; it's hard to fault him.

Jim Kelly remains one big lunk and I'm totally not faulting McGee. But it would have been nice to have a less exciting finish than we're about to get. We've suffered and we deserve it.

(though I still love Wade too)

hold me

Ohhhhhh T.O.!!!!

omfg

an onside kick that worked!!

wait what happened there?

was it ruled interference and then challenged and then upheld?

sorry i was watching my other least favorite team loose at baseball.

no catch, ball hit the ground

incompletion!

btw i am asking about the onside kick.

oh, dallas missed the 2-pt conversion, but then had a good onside kick.

but it didnt look like they caught it... was it ruled interference and then challenged by buffalo and then upheld?

THROW ANOTHER PICK TONY

the onside kick? Hurd touched it, sending the ball into play and then it was recovered by Dallas at the Buffalo 47.

O HOLY SHIT....THE CURSE OF SHANAHAN STRIKES AGAIN!!!

LOL shanahan'd

oh ok thanks sorry i was watching baseball

fuckin shanahand job (want the bills to win but that shit is lame)

I CANNOT BELIEVE THE COWBOYS ACTUALLY WON!

oh well

ugh I want to die

FUUUUUUUUUCK

bilolls

holy shit what a weird game

rogermexico? you ok?

Is Jerry Jones married to Barbara Eden? I thought I just saw her up in the box with Jones and Michael Irvin.

y'know, now's probably not the time to point this out, but three runs up the gut on that last Buffalo possession would have made all of the tomfoolery of the last 30 seconds moot.

also this is the worst thing that has ever happened.

I hate the Cowboys but fuck the Bills for that time out.

FFCK YU FOTBBAL GODS

also, Bills fans all look kinda rough. like they transplanted the Florida panhandle to upstate NY rough

really wish Folk had grabbed his crotch a couple of times while pointing to Juaron

lol @ the panhandle (it's true!)

why can't the Bills just lose the damn game in the first quarter so all my hair doesn't go gray?

xpost dude, Buffalo is a dying town

Urban Meyer did the same thing with the time-out against Auburn the other day.

bnw otm about the Shanahan shit. fat lot of good it did Jauron. maybe if he learned something about how to call offensive plays he wouldn't need that douchery.

also, lol @ yankees.

i dont get it. doesnt it just give the kicker a "practice" kick...seems like it could only help....

Yeah, it's only got a 50% success rate thus far.

Best game I've seen this season; who woulda thunk it?

I've never kicked an actual field goal, but I would assume that 50+ yarders take some energy - maybe the hope is that a kicker won't have enough ooomph to get it through the uprights?

Best game I've seen this season; who woulda thunk it?

-- forksclovetofu, Tuesday, October 9, 2007 4:34 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

ANYONE BUT YOU, APPARENTLY

it's called icing the kicker, and i don't get all the animosity - it's a widely used tactic and it aint against the rules or nothin!

37-38

Don't call it a comeback...

poor old Buffalo. incredible performance from that makeshift defense, but totally let down by unproductive offense, never more so than on that mismanaged final drive. i was hugely impressed by how Romo kept his head at the end there to get them in kick range, despite having the worst game of his career up to that point; and fair play to that kicker dude for beating his PB (twice) for the game winning FG. but still, balls, and fuck the Cowboys.

13-1 for me! fuck you, too, Jaguars. in my head Jax are much worse than they actually play, but i'm pretty sure i'm right and reality is wrong.

it's called icing the kicker, and i don't get all the animosity - it's a widely used tactic and it aint against the rules or nothin!

-- cankles, Tuesday, October 9, 2007 6:49 AM (Tuesday, October 9, 2007 6:49 AM) Bookmark Link

yeah, i don't get it either, i've seen it used for at least 25 years and had never seen it work until this year. the shannahan one was kind of dubious because it was called so late that the snap occurred and a kick was attempted which seems to me to border on unsportsmanlike conduct but whatever.

ANYONE BUT YOU, APPARENTLY

ILNFL pix 'em! composite predictions:
DAL @ BUF - DAL(92%)

'Cept for you stencil, I don't think anyone really saw this as an interesting game; smelled like a blowout.

called so late that the snap occurred and a kick was attempted which seems to me to border on unsportsmanlike conduct

this is what i'm uncomfortable with, too. icing the kicker is one thing, but this new thing of timing it so the snap occurs anyway and they have to re-kick is way l-l-lame. how you gonna fix it, though? i say let a snapped play go unless either team has clearly already reacted to the timeout call.

how you gonna fix it, though? i say let a snapped play go unless either team has clearly already reacted to the timeout call.

yeah, i mentioned this elsewhere, all it would take is one week where the ref says the coach didn't call a timeout and the play stands and the problem would take care of itself.

yes, the animosity is because it was called right at the moment of snapping the ball - which really makes it questionable to me about when it was called. Not like there's anyway to verify that the center's hands hadn't started moving as Shanahan/Juaron/etc. called the time-out.

yeah, i say treat it more like a baseball umpire treats a timeout request from a batter. once he steps out of the box and time isn't granted he rarely waits until the last second again.

eh, it happened in the falcons-steelers game last year too. that one was funny because the dude actually missed the kick-that-didnt-count and then proceeded to knock in the next one. i guarantee you that nobody around the league considers it 'cheating' or anything. it's just somethin' u do~~

yeah but is it "sportsmanlike conduct"?

lol who gives a fuck

if the Pats lost a game* because they missed a FG they already kicked then i'd sure give a fuck.

*clearly a wildly hypothetical situation

http://www.latexmaskcentral.com/images/Archives/Kuato_3100thumb.jpg

you've got to go with your gut, and my gut says no.

All the Bills had to do was guard the out-of-bounds lines to make sure the clock ran out. On the third to last play of the game the Cowboys' receiver was completely wide open, standing alone next to the line. That was a total defensive breakdown, and the Bills should be embarrassed. I don't care how beat up their defense is, that was pathetic. There wasn't a Bills defender within 10 yards of that guy, as far as I could tell.

god to have cable. I read a recap of the game and still can't get my head around what happened.

Timeouts: eh, just make the timeout on a kick only callable with more than 5 on the play clock. Forcing a team to kick two winning field goals at the end of a game is shanahan level douchery and I for one will stand for it.

Or how's this- WREST CONTROL OF THE GAME FROM THE CONTROL FREAK HEAD COACHES AND DON'T ALLOW THEM TO CALL TIMEOUTS AT ALL. GOD THE NFL

*not stand for it