GIANT JERK SHOOTS HIMSELF IN LEG: it's week 14! :D

yes, i know there is "technically" one more game this week but seriously, c'mon man.

OAK @ SD this is so ghetto. i'm going with oakland because honestly, i don't think sd is done embarrassing themselves
JAC @ CHI chicago
CLE @ TEN tennessee tho i am kinda feelin' the browns too!
MIN @ DET detroit will not win a game this year
CIN @ IND indy
ATL @ NO atlanta
PHI @ NYG giants will not lose another game this regular season (note: prediction invalidated if they go all ridiculous and "rest" their starters but i don't see coughlin making a mistake like that since it involves allowing players to have a day off)
HOU @ GB green bay
MIA @ BUF you know i'm gonna say buffalo, why not?
NE @ SEA yikes. new england, cos i don't think they'll play THAT badly two weeks in a row
KC @ DEN denver
NYJ @ SF PLEASE LET IT BE SAN FRANCISCO
STL @ ARI arizona for sure, there might actually be real explosions
DAL @ PIT pittsburgh
WAS @ BAL ooh this will be good! i think washington will bounce back and have a strong game but this is kinda 50/50 to me
TB @ CAR you gotta be shitting me, a watchable monday night game? except for the hideousness of both of these teams' uniforms, of course. carolina

so, are the cardinals the bizarro rams or vice versa?

I cannot believe you are feeling the browns. Are you drunk?

OAK @ SD this is so ghetto. i'm going with san diego because honestly, i don't think oak is done embarrassing themselves
JAC @ CHI Cats
CLE @ TEN Ten
MIN @ DET detroit may be shut out
CIN @ IND Whorse
ATL @ NO NO
PHI @ NYG McNabb might get pulled again.
HOU @ GB GB
MIA @ BUF MIA in a shameful Buffalo performance.
NE @ SEA Seattle may be shut out
KC @ DEN Whorses
NYJ @ SF NYJ although let the record show what happens when Brett has to throw to win the game.
STL @ ARI Birds
DAL @ PIT pittsburgh in a fun festival. Please let TO run a lazy route underneath.
WAS @ BAL Baltimoar
TB @ CAR Tampa

I have to be drunk to feel anything about this season.

I cannot believe you are feeling the browns. Are you drunk?

― brownie, Monday, December 1, 2008 5:05 PM (9 minutes ago)

i'm really, really sick if it helps

it does, thanks

OAK @ SD most weeks i'm like, the super chargers can't be THAT bad, and most weeks they prove me wrong.. still.. chargers.
JAC @ CHI zzzzzz jacksonville
CLE @ TEN i'm thinking this could be closer than it looks but do the browns even have a QB now? tennessee
MIN @ DET "detroit will not win a game this year"
CIN @ IND indie
ATL @ NO looking forward to this!!! saints?
PHI @ NYG depends on which philly team shows up.. giants
HOU @ GB don't care. green bay
MIA @ BUF let's go beast mode!
NE @ SEA pats don't lose two in a row, come on (but can someone check on wes welker and make sure he didn't die?!)
KC @ DEN denvers
NYJ @ SF GO SINGLETARIES let the jets choke & lose the division to new england again
STL @ ARI
http://s.azcentral.com/home/File-/picture/50763/1/0/258/1024/
DAL @ PIT pittsburgh, IMHO second best team in the league & right now would bet on steelers-giants super bowl (although i have seen 10X more games of these teams than of tampa bay, carolina, tennessee)
WAS @ BAL i don't know how skins will put more than 6 points on the board vs ravens defense. z-man better figure out something
TB @ CAR this should be good! tampa bay

PIT too inconsistent. though i guess everyone else except NYFG is too. lost at home to indy, almost lost at home to the chargers, kind of shit the bed in philly...

brownie i'm sorry but i love that ken dorsey is starting

too bad winslow is hurt

OAK @ SD san diego is going to win this 19-3. what an embarrassing season
JAC @ CHI jax really suck but i don't think the bears have anything left. bears though
CLE @ TEN titans rout duh lol ken dorsey
MIN @ DET the funny thing about this is that if they could bottle up peterson they could have a chance at winning but the titans just ran for 445432 yds
CIN @ IND the colts suck i can't wait for them to lose in the first round to the broncos, winning this tho obv
ATL @ NO the falcons are so awesome - america's team for the new decade
PHI @ NYG giants. rollin rollin rollin we ain't lost in weeks
HOU @ GB this game is going to be way closer than most ppl think - in fact, fuck it: TEXANS
MIA @ BUF phins delete the bills season in toronto
NE @ SEA this is gonna be 30-0 pats at half i think
KC @ DEN den- i still think that they can make a run in the playoffs despite their shitty D
NYJ @ SF jets, but this one will probably be close too and no one will be paying attention
STL @ ARI cards
DAL @ PIT steelers, some good lol moments from romo obv - this will be one to watch
WAS @ BAL good, close game but i like the redskins - they seem to win "big" games when no one is paying attention to the "big" games
TB @ CAR totally looking forward to this one - williams/stewart are fuckin awesome + steve smith's craziness = we can get behind the panthers. i think they win

^^^ unfortunately skins-ravens was flexed to sunday night prime time, this does not bode well for us!

i had a pet theory abt da bears winning prime time games that got shot 2 shit last night

mostly cuz they tried to run up the middle on every down

always look forward to shots of ray lewis yelling and flexing

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3740122

Six players, including the heart of the Minnesota Vikings' stout defensive line, were suspended for four games without pay by the NFL on Tuesday for violating the league's anti-doping policy.

All six were punished for using a diuretic, which can serve as a masking agent for steroids.

The suspended players were running back Deuce McAllister and defensive linemen Charles Grant and Will Smith of New Orleans; defensive linemen Kevin and Pat Williams of Minnesota; and long snapper Bryan Pittman of Houston.

lollll

fuk u, NO and MIN

Vikings are fuuuuucked

Can't professional athletes excessively shit and piss in peace?!?!

the league has to stick to its guns on this one, but it's kinda ridiculous since these are all clearly just fat guys trying to make weight. interestingly enough, grady jackson was caught taking the same shit but isnt getting suspended, and is actually suing the company for not listing its ingredients right? idk man idk~~~

i mean when the league gives you a list of what specific supplements and shit you can put in your body i cant really have sympathy for dudes gettin busted for loadin up on mega horse laxative

it is the no fun league after all

New commish is such a dick.

and long snapper Bryan Pittman of Houston
and long snapper Bryan Pittman of Houston
and long snapper Bryan Pittman of Houston
and long snapper Bryan Pittman of Houston

i mean when the league gives you a list of what specific supplements and shit you can put in your body i cant really have sympathy for dudes gettin busted for loadin up on mega horse laxative

yeah this is basically how I am feeling about it, plus if these teams' personnel people from the GM on down were running shit properly you'd think this kind of thing would be pretty easy to head off at the pass. if I'm paying X huge pile of $ for your body and your mind to be at my organizations' complete disposal seven months out of the year then I would think it might be worth P amount of my time and a E extra $ to make sure you're in shape to play, including but not limited to having league-approved piss

otoh jc the league also gives you a huge list of specific supplements and shit that you CAN'T put into your body in conjunction with the other list so if this supplement fails to be on EITHER list i can see the confusion. i don't think this is fair -- they shouldn't be suspending players if the supplement isn't on either list, AND it fails to list a key ingredient in its ingredient list that would lead to it being disallowed.

cankles otm in that the league has to stick to its guns but the league could also provide better ways to manage this shit (and also how about ending the fucking making weight ritual that leads dudes to do shit like this to begin with).

if I'm paying X huge pile of $ for your body and your mind to be at my organizations' complete disposal seven months out of the year

there is something about this phrasing that is really gross to me. they're not slaves.

When it's all said and done, do you guys think Reggie Bush or LenDale White will finish his career with more rushing touchdowns?

reggie bush has to get past the line of scrimmage once in awhile in order to score a rushing td so i'm gonna go with lendale

lol @ reggie bush & the line of scrimmage

guys did you miss the part where I called professional football players slaves

reggie bush & the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, awful gay line of scrimmage

I guess it isn't fair to compare them strictly on rushing since Bush does at least half of his damage as a receiver.

reggie is better as a receiver or returner than a rb, he doesn't seem to be big on contact with those 300+ lb dudes. but then again if most of my social life involved vegas threeways with kim kardashian i might try to avoid that shit too.

OK I am going to try to have a comment for every game this week:

OAK @ SD Awful game. I would not be surprised to see Oakland sneak a win, but my pick is the BOLTS
JAC @ CHI Jax played with no pride or fire at all on Monday. Hence, BEARS.
CLE @ TEN 3rd-string QB = no doubt TITS victory.
MIN @ DET Williams wall suspension enhances the case that this is Detroit's last best chance but who the hell would pick them? VIKES.
CIN @ IND I kind of wish I had seen the Browns hold Indy to 10 points and no offensive TDs last week. This will not happen again with a bad team, COLTS.
ATL @ NO Will I see the Falcons play at all this season? I hope so. But here I like SAINTS at home playing for pride.
PHI @ NYG GINTS are just a really well-built team. One of the most impressive groups in the NFL in a decade.
HOU @ GB I saw Steve Slaton on Monday an he's an impressive runner--fast and smart. Catches well too! COWS.
MIA @ BUF I always pick the FINS because they seem to get relatively favorable matchups. This is another against a reeling Bills team.
NE @ SEA PATS will be pissed this game was flexed out.
KC @ DEN Can't help but pick BRONCS they are way too talented to lose to a team like KC at home.
NYJ @ SF Since I cannot think of a single thing the niners are good at, it will be JETS.
STL @ ARI CARDS at home against a bad D = huge day through the air.
DAL @ PIT BOYS because I can't bring myself to pick the stillers in a close game. They have a good defense but their offense is nothing special, and Dallas can hang with that.
WAS @ BAL in the biggest test of the one-syllable nickname rule, RAVES/BALLS/BIRDS are gonna wreck washington. Total annihilation.
TB @ CAR Nice! Big Monday game w/two teams I haven't seen. I hate Carolina and have a secret fondness for the BUCS, so they will win.

re: Bush I feel like despite the fact that Payton is a good offensive coach there are better ways to use Reggie. When he and McAllister were both healthy, did they play them at the same time often? If I had Bush I would keep him on the field with 2 WRs and a stronger, pummeling RB. For each play you could motion him to the slot, run a pitch, set up a screen, run straight handoff using the bigger RB as an FB, etc. Would that be so hard to incorporate?

Would that be so hard to incorporate?

No, but you'd need a pounder who was also a good and willing blocker, and I'm not sure if Deuce was willing to be that guy.

I cannot think of a single thing the niners are good at

forgot about lolz

truth--good correction Schef.

did any of u read the full nfl statement on the "steroid" suspensions? it includes a curious statement about how they don't want players taking supplements AT ALL, which begs the question: why have an "allowed"/"disallowed" supplement list AT ALL? just list your banned substances, and if a player shows up positive for one, you can easily be like, "we don't like supplements at all, not our fault you accidentally ingested a banned substance via a poorly-labeled supplement".

seriously it doesn't make sense to me, the way they do things, esp in light of them claiming ALL supplements are stupid and bad.

forgot about lolz

Joe Nedney is a pimp.

I think this is the first Rick Reilly column I ever learned something from:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3737653&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab2pos1

Q: When can the first-string QB reenter the game if the third-string quarterback is inserted before the fourth quarter?

Correct answer: Never. If the third quarterback is inserted before the fourth quarter, a team's first two quarterbacks cannot be used in the game at any position.

pls explain rule.

Joe Nedney is a pimp. <---- week 15 thread title nominee

Damon Huard, QB, Chiefs: "If the punter touched it, then the game is over."

^^ what?

we don't like supplements at all, not our fault you accidentally ingested a banned substance via a poorly-labeled supplement".

i think this is like the usada position for olympic sports. athlete is strictly liable for shit in her body

begins to explain the chiefs of late xp

OAK @ SD both of these teams blow, it's pretty embarrassing that los angeles doesn't have an nfl team and the allegiances around here are divided between these two franchises. i'm gonna pick oakland.
JAC @ CHI i have a weird feeling about this game. like some bizarre shit is gonna happen. bears.
CLE @ TEN tits
MIN @ DET if detroit was going to win, they would win this game. but they won't.
CIN @ IND colts. btw i actually think that the bengals are the most embarrassing team in the nfl because they actually have some players on offense, the lions got no one other than "dub narcotic" at wr
ATL @ NO matt ryan is dope imo. atl
PHI @ NYG i hate my fantasy team. i have mcnabb and favre. i started mcnabb two weeks ago and favre this past weekend and of course the one who lit it up was the one i benched. giants.
HOU @ GB texans!
MIA @ BUF bills
NE @ SEA it would be awesome if the seahawks won, but it will be the pats
KC @ DEN denver, but who the hell knows really. it'll come down to a punt at the end of the game somehow involving damon huard
NYJ @ SF i'm feeling the niners but i think the jets will bounce back
STL @ ARI something like 55-7 arizona
DAL @ PIT steelers
WAS @ BAL i hate the ravens with a hate usually reserved for teams that aren't the nfl equivalent of the marlins. i think it will be the skins
TB @ CAR gross. bucs

OAK @ SD At this point I am rooting for the higher draft pick. Oakland.
JAC @ CHI Jacksonville is a total mess. That Houston game was an embarrassment. Bears.
CLE @ TEN Ken Dorsey is pretty awesome, but I'll go with the Titans.
MIN @ DET I might pick Detroit were the Williams brothers actually not playing in this game, but I'll go Minny.
CIN @ IND The Colts are practically invisible this year, and yet they're 8-4. Weird season.
ATL @ NO I think New Orleans is going to sneak away with this one.
PHI @ NYG Would the Giants be better or worse if they still had Strahan and Osi? Is it just me, or have they been completely unaffected by the loss of those dudes?
HOU @ GB Green Bay on the tundra.
MIA @ BUF What happened to Buffalo, and what happened to Trent Edwards? Miami.
NE @ SEA I'm going to miss Seattle's head walrus after he retires. NE.
KC @ DEN Denver. Kansas City is garbage.
NYJ @ SF. Jets, come on.
STL @ ARI. For like the tenth time, I will pick STL as the upset winner, and for the tenth time I will be wrong.
DAL @ PIT Dallas in a SHOCKER.
WAS @ BAL Washington needs this one more, I think.
TB @ CAR Carolina I guess.

I had a dream last night where it was thanksgiving again and it was a big family affair and I was going to show up apparently wearing a scary black RAIDERS t-shirt that had obscene lyrics (I don't know what) quoted on the back and this was some kind of big "fuck you deal with it" thing for me, in the dream. None of it made any sense but it cemented my decision to root for Oakland tonight, lol.

ATL @ NO I think New Orleans is going to sneak away with this one.

wouldnt shock me - honestly i would be equally unsurprised if the falcons went 8-8 or 12-4 at this point

OAK @ SD this is one of those games where you don't know which team will turn up shittier
JAC @ CHI Bears still playing for something
CLE @ TEN looks like possible shut out
MIN @ DET if Lions win a game it will be against a middling team like Vikes who forget to switch on, but AP could get 500 yards against that run D
CIN @ IND wish i could see anyway Cincy win this
ATL @ NO even with Brees's production NO are poor
PHI @ NYG excited to find out how Reid kills his team this week
HOU @ GB current Pack D can be dominated by an offense but Texans not that kind of offense
MIA @ BUF Fins should stay in control against crisis team Buffalo Bills
NE @ SEA good chance NE will win all their remaining games. fair chance that that won't be enough.
KC @ DEN you can't spell revenged without denver
NYJ @ SF wish i could see anyway niners win this
STL @ ARI Cards bounce back with comfortable tanking of St Louis cannon fodder
DAL @ PIT interesting game. Steelers got big weather assist vs Pats. may well work that way again but if you can catch you can throw on them for sure
WAS @ BAL wish this match-up was earlier in season, but Skins look poor now and will struggle to create any offense
TB @ CAR good game, crucial game. i think Bucs might be better and a win here would likely win them the division.

wouldnt shock me: the 2008 ilnfl summary thred

yeah redskins look terrible right now. campbell is not the problem IMHO.

The shine may be off Zorn a bit as an offensive coach.

collinsworth is really awful this year

Chargers should play the Raiders 16 times per year.

and then lose in the playoffs.

Rivers has 4 completions from 6 passes and 2 TDs? lololol

lol @ nfln previewing next week's saints @ bears game by cutting to a shot of a glum-looking grizzly bear lounging around in the SD zoo

So with 2 minutes left in the game, up 34-7, Sproles fumbled a punt return. Norv decided to challenge the ruling, apparently just to fuck with Al Davis; as the referee announced it, both Norv AND the referee were giggling. That was some vindictive shit.

And on the next play Andrew Walter threw a pick.

Also, on fourth down, Andrew Walter needed Darren McFadden to catch a ball over the middle, and McFadden was like "ehhhhh no thanks," not even bothering to raise his arms to catch an easy ball over his head. Walter was so fucking furious.

I wish I could enjoy this more, but I can't shake the idea that my team is filled with lazy, vindictive assholes who don't care if they win.

Jarrod Cooper RIPPING into JaMarcus Russell in the local postgame show.

Shane Lechler, we have got to get you to a better team, homie.

Shane Lechler, seemingly completely serious: "We're doing a lot better: we just need to get better in offense, defense, and special teams."

Now Jarrod Cooper is ripping into Kwame Harris. I would like to hang with this dude.

Here is a cool article about Jarrod Cooper. He likes dogs:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/02/05/SPG6URQ3V.DTL

aw

OAK @ SD - At this point, it don't really matter much.
JAC @ CHI - The Bears flopped, but with the Vikings probably losing both the Williams, I have to think they still have a chance to win the division.
CLE @ TEN - Cleveland going to win with Ken Dorsey? Maybe if he could play with all ex-Hurricanes.
MIN @ DET - If the Williams don't play, I'd say this is do or die for the Lions. Viks should win either way.
CIN @ IND - It has gone so wrong for Cinci. A few years back the Bengals played in Indy and it was like the new hotshot offense meeting the reigning hotshot offense. I have to think the Colts are going to drop a big asswhupping on someone and put 40 on the board, but it never seems to happen. I'll say this although the numbers don't say it, as Cinci's offense cannot control the clock for nothin', the Bengals D is improving. They need an edge rusher, but they are really not far from being competent. Teams cannot just run up the middle on them like they have the past couple of years. Domata Peko is a pretty cool player. Indy just cannot run the ball to the edge at all. Indy is only 22nd in the league in total offensive yardage! That seems hard to believe.
ATL @ NO - I still have to take the Saints at home. I wouldn't think the Falcons would win on the road in SD. If they knock off NO on the road, I'll be impressed.
PHI @ NYG - I've got an odd feeling that the Eagles will pull an upset, that division is just like that.
HOU @ GB - These two teams are hard to figure, both have looked good and like crap. There should be plenty of scoring. I'm sure there are plenty of knobs blaming not bringing back Brett F. for the Pack collapse, but their defense has turned to shite. If Green Bay didn't get so many turnovers, they wouldn't even be in a game, as teams run and pass on them like it is techmobowl. Houston just doesn't quite fit together yet, they need something on defense, maybe a big widebody to clog up the running lanes.
MIA @ BUF - I'd think Miami, but I think the Bills might bounce back in the cold.
NE @ SEA - NE should walk. Boston fans are a freaking odd lot, in that there can be ANY vocal fans who are saying NE should trade off Brady and keep Cassel, in fear of his knee and age. I got two words to that...Danny White. To be honest, I could almost see the Pats maybe doing it. They are kind of cold blooded and odd in personnel matters sometimes.
KC @ DEN - I'd think the Broncos should win, but hey you never know with these guys. They blew their first game with the Chiefs with a bunch of dumb turnovers. I'm not a big Bronco fan, but I love watching Cutler throw the ball. The guy reminds me of Marino.
NYJ @ SF - I could see the Jets laying another egg, but that would be too funny.
STL @ ARI - Cardinals should win - period.
DAL @ PIT - This is an interesting game. The Steelers are walking the gauntlet down the stretch and it looks like the Ravens might make it interesting. Dallas needs a win as it is going to be tight getting the wild card. I'll take the Cowboys.
WAS @ BAL - They are kind of the same team and this is a hard one to pick. I suppose I'll go with the Ravens at home.
TB @ CAR - I really don't have any idea how good any of these teams might be. Neither one has played anyone from the NFC East or beaten any of the good AFC clubs. Tampa is 9-3, but they have made a bunch of hay off of the NFC West. I suppose Tampa is a bit better, but better than what? I'd say the Bucs are going to be the prime contender to get a bye in the playoffs and get knocked off by a wildcard team. Carolina is too helter skelter, which is kind of their thing, kind of like the NFC version of Jacksonville.

great point about cinci - their defense wasn't that bad last year either, and keith rivers was apparently playing well before going down for the year

i'm thinking lions upset, provided kev/pat dont play - feels like their best chance to win a game this year, anyway

re: TB & CAR, i had carolina pegged to rebound & win the division this year and they've clearly played well, but at the same time they seem as underachieving a 9-3 team as you'll find. they're the most balanced team in the division tho, defense solid but not as good as tampa's, offense solid but not as good as atlanta's or new orleans', solid on special teams - just all around alright, with the POTENTIAL to be very good on offense (the fact that it hasnt come together on that side of the ball remains the biggest mystery to me - i like what they have with the power downhill running game and guys like gross, kalil, wharton, otah on the o-line, a healthy steve smith and delhomme to work the play-action passing game downfield. delhomme really sticks out as not playing well this year but i have to wonder if there's more to it than that)

tampa OTOH has been super consistent, you pretty much get the exact same team every week - fantastic defense, ugly offense (they had a running game last year, but they're basically just back to letting garcia make shit up at this point), smart gameplanning and a well-prepared team. i've given gruden a lot of shit before, calling him overrated etc, but it's really tough to make that case in the face of the highly prepared teams he's fielded the past couple of years, tampa's really getting the most out of its talent. his offensive concepts are still horseshit tho.

i'm nervous about this weekend but one reason to give atlanta the edge is that deuce mccalister and both of NO's starting DE's (grant, smith) aren't playing.

Boston fans are a freaking odd lot, in that there can be ANY vocal fans who are saying NE should trade off Brady and keep Cassel, in fear of his knee and age. I got two words to that...Danny White. To be honest, I could almost see the Pats maybe doing it. They are kind of cold blooded and odd in personnel matters sometimes.

boston sports media possibly the most hostile in the country? it's super harsh even when the teams are winning championships. far as i know, brady doesn't make near as much money as peyton and a number of other QBs, but i think if the pats believed it was the best strategic move, salary cap & otherwise, they would def trade him, just like deion branch, lawyer milloy, asante samuel.

I don't think they'd trade Tom Brady in any circumstances unless they didn't believe he'd ever be healthy again.

i think people are making Pats out to be colder and more cynical than they are. the current organization has rewarded loyalty with loyalty and that would count for a lot with Brady, especially the way he has moderated his salary demands so the team can afford him and keep winning. it'd take a lot before they let him go, no question.

so poly otm, basically

The thing about Boston fans and some media is I cannot believe they would even THINK something like this about Tom Brady. Manny is Manny, that kind of made sense, but this is freaking Tom Brady having a knee injury after having the most godlike passing season ever. The Niners were pretty cold blooded often times on their big guns (and it probably did extend their strong streak), as they pushed off Montana, Rice, and Ronnie Lott while they still had some gas left in the tank, but their fans were not happy about it with some being vocal that it maybe should be done.

The trade Brady/keep Cassel discussion is based on the belief that the organization doesn't see a big difference in their value (age and injury included). From a fan's perspective that is batshit, and if that is their actual assessment my faith in them has been misplaced.

So let's review:

Tom Brady is not Matt Cassel

Tom Brady is not Lawyer Milloy or Asante Samuel, and he is sure as shit not Deion Branch.

Matt Cassel is not Steve Young and the team would not be replacing one hall-of-famer with another.

I really try hard not to go down this path, but Tom Brady has done things that are go way beyond stats since he has been the QB here.

i should prob give the organization more credit. the fans commenting on boston sports articles (as well as many of the ppl who write them) seem to have an excessively short term memory, lasting two weeks at the most. same dudes who were yelling after they lost to miami week 3 or whatever, bench cassel and call daunte culpepper.

in other patriots news, they called up junior seau again. <3 <3 <3 junior seau

The trade Brady/keep Cassel discussion is based on the belief that the organization doesn't see a big difference in their value (age and injury included). From a fan's perspective that is batshit, and if that is their actual assessment my faith in them has been misplaced.

So let's review:

Tom Brady is not Matt Cassel

Tom Brady is not Lawyer Milloy or Asante Samuel, and he is sure as shit not Deion Branch.

Matt Cassel is not Steve Young and the team would not be replacing one hall-of-famer with another.

I really try hard not to go down this path, but Tom Brady has done things that are go way beyond stats since he has been the QB here.

― vampire baseball (call all destroyer), Saturday, December 6, 2008 2:17 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yeah the insanity of this line of discussion is just... guh. matt cassel is, BEST CASE SCENARIO, billy volek 2 elecric douchealoo. brady's leg could fall off and he'd still be a better long term option than rusher mcfumbles.

*electric

how do you even know if you spelled douchealoo right, though

also aren't the people talking about this on boston sports blogs or wherever the same people who elected mitt romney

let's talk about this instead http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v444/72/104/71101469/n71101469_31831819_5630.jpg

yet another nfc east division game on my tv! i'm sure giants-eagles will be entertaining but wish the other channel had ATL/NO instead of another stupid bears game.

if only there were some ilnfl posters from florida or the mountain time zone to make you feel better about your predicament.

lol, the info screen for the early CBS game says "Exhibition: Cincinnati at Indianapolis"

lol x 2, the actual game they're showing is Cle @ Tenn

is anyone else getting cartoons on CBS instead of football?

like i had pregame with the dudes in the studio and then at the top of the hour it went to cartoons

I've got Jags @ Bears.

Sounds like the feed is busted -- that happened with TBS during the baseball playoffs this year.

how is that even possible

http://www.google.com/search?&q=boat+anchor+fiber+optic

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x18/gr8080/IMG_0430.jpg
l-r: CBS, FOX

fuuuuuuuck come on philly

whoa did anyone just see that air force ad that was like "how do you find an enemy who hides among innocent people... well basically we just watch everyone"

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp127/deanofsomething/manning-dallas.jpg

l-r: bestseller shelf @ bookstore in my neighborhood

100% terrible play call right there philly, what was that about?

so bad. that first down pass across the middle was bullshit right there for the giants, should have been delay of game

YES YES YES

fox robot doing the ickey shuffle just now! :)

dude that jump over the line on the FG block was NUTS

maybe brandon jacobs should be in those unstoppable ads.

LETS GO D

two tvs: why?!

when you move to hawaii they just give you two tvs

YES

wau, football giants not looking so hot! come on eli, 2 minutes! (gotta root for eagles to stay out of that wild card race)

fucking penalties

tom coughlin starting to turn red..

this is usually where we throw a pick and it gets returned for a touchdown

mcnabb is fucking awful UGH

this kind of good stuff...never...happens for us

holy shit that greg olsen catch

*hangs self*

!!!

O_O O_O O_O

that was unexpected

fwiw im looking forward to the kevin keller era here on ilnfl

looks like you might have already missed it, unless he was lying to us, if he was he should be banned imo

this is why as an eagles fan you must never let your guard down. ive been burned by this team too many times

lol @ Vikes-Lions game. real football.

as a redskins fan, i hear you.. since the early 90's..

yeah how is that vikings-lions! i saw "highlights" just now @ halftime: vikings LB gets injured by chop block, gus frerotte carted off the field

the normal in-game emotional arc of an eagles fan:

fucking penalties

― k3vin k., Sunday, December 7, 2008 2:21 PM (15 minutes ago)

this is usually where we throw a pick and it gets returned for a touchdown

― k3vin k., Sunday, December 7, 2008 2:24 PM (13 minutes ago)

this kind of good stuff...never...happens for us

― k3vin k., Sunday, December 7, 2008 2:27 PM (10 minutes ago)

*hangs self*

― k3vin k., Sunday, December 7, 2008 2:29 PM (8 minutes ago)

LOL
i was gonna say, another change for giants to score a touchdown..

chance

that was slightly more expected

what the fuck is going on here

OMG SO MANY GARBAGE BAGS, SO MUCH BEAUTY ON THE FIELD

JERSEY'S WHERE IT'S AT

this thumbface commercial is unpleasant

** breaking news from chicago-jville game **

david garrard, well dressed on arrival @ soldier field
http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp127/deanofsomething/garrard.jpg

LOL he looks like my biology professor!

did coughlin just drop the f bomb when the call was made there?

i've benched Westbrook on my fantasy team three times this season and i swear it's been his three best games. i should have figured a way to make some $ from this already.

this is usually where the other team marches down the field for a score in about 4 plays, followed by a three-and-out or turnover (depending on the game), followed by a clock-eating touchdown drive by the opponent leaving less than two minutes for us to score, at which point we march down the field only to throw a pick when we should have kicked a FG to tie

you are forgetting a missed 4th and 1 conversion

you know, if westbrook was gonna get a 15 yd celebration penalty, he should've at least pretended to shoot himself in the thigh or something

LOL

where is T.O. when you need him

and yeah, jordan, you're right. though that could certainly fall under the "turnover" as said above. i.e. turnover on downs

omg. (un)believeable

Giants' run blocking seems so much more exciting than everyone else's. it's fascinating to watch.

sorrow

okay, things are not going according to plan. this is weird

usual "plan" being crash and burn, then?

oh yes. i mean in all fairness to the eagles it's usually an end-of-the-game thing but we're up by two scores right now!

yeah barring another blocked FG --> TD, football giants are done. i'm stunned actually. was it hixon who dropped that deep pass in the first quarter? all downhill since then.

yeah, it was hixon. i'm really happy right now. playoffs are still a longshot, but i have a LOT of friends who are giants fans. this is going to be good.

my concern has now become whether the lionz die today again or not

probly

rly rly need lions to win
giants TD...this can't happen, right? it's over

who the hell is darcy johnson?!?!

this game perplexes me. that 4th & 1 where they called a pass -- why? of course 15 seconds is still more than enough time for the eagles to screw this up and the giants to somehow win but still, what was this.

i want the giants to win so bad this will be hilarious

the giants played this game like they've already clinched and don't give a shit. it's comforting to see those clowns return, i guess, but c'mon man.

btw kev -- you should be rooting for the eagles to NOT make the playoffs. making the playoffs will only extend the reid/mcnabb era that peaked years ago. root for your team to die. sometimes it's necessary

we won!

omg WHO even gets offside during a kick?!

xpost i agree with jordan -- andy reid needs to be stopped at all costs.

Minnesota 20, Detroit 16

lol XD

i'm just hoping the #(%&ing redskins play tonight's game like they DO give a shit. i don't know what exactly is wrong in washington.. someone @ skins blog commented that cooley said on the radio, all the players know what the problem is but nobody can talk about it. WHAT?!

oh hai new orleans atlanta! YAY

schef, you guys screwed up how many 4th and short today? i was baffled by the last one, why didn't they just run the football?

zorn? xp

well, go steelers

xpost minnesota really was worryingly close to losing that game for a period, and i'm kind of sorry we were unable to watch that game because there were punches thrown and ejections!!

xpost again FUCK them putting on new orleans atlanta instead of houston gb. I'M SO GLAD I GOT TO SEE DREW BREES TAKE THAT KNEE, THANKS FUCKOS.

xpost yet again tell me about it :(

seriously was the giants performance some kind of delayed plaxico reaction or something? they all looked exhausted and bored and distracted. antonio pierce played terribly and all the receivers were dropping balls left and right.

haha yeah i think jared allen was trying to hurt ppl again today and then someone tried to tear his acl or some shit

^^^ yeah punches were thrown and allen went after the dude who hit him

i take back the "fuckos" comment, that gb game was on cbs for some reason

yeah idk schef it certainly looked like that -- no spark at all. it was like they showed up today and it was windy and cold and they just said "fuck it"

btw fox are still fuckos

i take back the "fuckos" comment, that gb game was on cbs for some reason

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Sunday, December 7, 2008 3:04 PM (14 seconds ago) Bookmark

afc team in nfc stadium = cbs

there were a lot of times that the defense was ON mcnabb and then pulled up -- guys, i know he just had babies and everyone kinda pities him in general but you need to sack him anyway.

xpost that rule is weird? i didn't know that was the rule tho, thankin u

that was a nice thing that they just showed in the MIN locker room but i will never be able to get over the fact that brad childress looks like a simpsons caricature of a 7th grade biology teacher

HOU @ GB this game is going to be way closer than most ppl think - in fact, fuck it: TEXANS

i predict

j0rdan - i don't know what's up, how zorn is dealing with a really terrible stretch. could be mostly his problem, eg trying to install an offense w/players not suited for it, maybe including campbell. no idea how this will play out in the long run. 15+ years of being disappointed with this team in the snyder era, actually i am trying to figure out where the heck to go tonight that doesn't have a tv & just tape the ravens game & find out what happened afterward.

schef, one of the announcer dudes on the sidelines pointed out that re: plax situation, last week it happened so close to the game the national media didn't really have time to all descend on them, but ever since it's been super bowl level of cameras everywhere

also YEAH STEELERS

dear tony romo:

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k59/tx4coe/clapping.gif

really really need dallas to lose. i *think* if dallas loses and we win out, we're basically in.

It was four weeks ago that the Browns last scored a touchdown.

so let's not go sucking each others' dicks just yet is what you're saying? xp

um patriots?

http://www.playzgame.com/images/avatars/anti-pacman.gif

15 yard penalty for putting the ball under your shirt after scoring? is this what we have come to?

F.Gore up the middle tackled in End Zone for -37 yards, SAFETY (S.Ellis).

what is this?

oh, it went away. how peculiar. whatchoplayinat, ESPN.com?

the announcers keep making fun of tony romo who is obv freezing his ass off out there.

two of the patriots' linebackers were, as of like a week ago, 1) running a ups store (colvin) and 2) surfing (seau)
defense is completely decimated at this point.

christ, bruschi and wilfork are out too??!

good game everyone, dallas and pittsburgh both. you guys look like real winners today.

http://sandiegopreviews.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/125/files/2007/12/winners-and-losers.jpg

both of these teams should go --> this way

dear tony romo again:

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k59/tx4coe/clapping.gif

ok, another team turning it over like 5 times v pittsburgh.. and it's not even raining.

maybe romo should put on a sweater and some mittens

and have some hot cocoa on the sidelines between INTs

guys he once lived in wisconsin 10 years ago, he's not cold, he's totally used to this, shut up

im happy i dont have to watch this peter king jizz fest of a game

it's awful. if i see one more int or fumble by someone not named "tony romo" i'm going to leave my own house in protest. nb i probably won't do this but i'll be annoyed.

on the other channel, sf is beating the jets a+

It's v cold in NYC = not going out = u r a liar

i have stl - ari and kc-den and i find both preferable to GUTSY BEN vs TORTURED TONY

http://file042a.bebo.com/10/large/2008/01/26/10/4884835567a6716591432l.gif

Jets Fans: see what happens when Brett has to play catching and throw the ball around in the 2nd half? Sad story dudes.

mighty mike welker!

what, the new york favres are losing?!

sup with welker? i see pats finally ahead in that one..

Dick Enberg decided his catch on the 2pt conversion was so good that he's Mike Welker now.

Seneca Wallace QB
20-28, 212 yds
3 TDs

^damn

Seattle Rush Yds Avg Lng TD FumL
S. Wallace 3 47 15.7 23 0 0

yeah, am sick of that dude today. enough yards on the scramble too.

id like to stop in a little late here to say mike tomlin wtf is the matter w/u dude

twice he has run away from rushers full speed towards his own end zone and made clutch passes.

FUMBLE. tough break Seneca, Sarge put the curse on you.

all right welkah! i'm really glad he didn't die last week.

omg the steelers are playing like a team

god joe buck SHUT UP

oh, and the favres lost!!! YAY

haha imagine joe buck shutting up

i am watching this game now

wade phillips looks perpetually befuddled by football

omg pitt receiver got leg twisted off

washington.. ugh that was nasty

fyi the steelers/cowboys game is way better if you mute the tv and put on the blade runner soundtrack, like, really loud

all right stillers!

oh, it went away. how peculiar. whatchoplayinat, ESPN.com?

― None of this bands are indie (Roberto Spiralli), Sunday, December 7, 2008 5:03 PM (2 hours ago)

pacman jones isnt even good at returning kicks

omfg the first three quarters of this game was some of the most unprofessional, boring, awful football i've ever seen. why u wait til 2 minute warning to decide to play football.

also <3 washington getting up and leaping 3 feet in the air and making a big show of excitement to prove his leg works still

i guess "ever" is an exaggeration i mean i did watching giants play cleveland

re ESPN, totally - i was taking an IT class last season, on the weekends, spent quite a few sunday afternoons not learning javascript for shit, because i was busy on gamecast trying to figure out the hell was happening w/important games. i guess i also missed a lot of the .NET lessons for the same reason but who cares

OMG JOE BUCK IS THE WORST

lol @ talkin to the teevee: buck: "the cowboys have their playmakers on the field!" alex: "does that mean aikman finally got sick of this and is on the field?"

hay nice play dallas good lookin

yeah, but schef, did you watch philadelphia vs cincinnati?! worst of the worst

OFMG

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

o lol

!

DEAR TONY ROMO YET AGAIN:

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k59/tx4coe/clapping.gif

the next sentence buck said after playmakers was: "pittsburgh has their defense on the field".

uh, yeah, I guess they do!

HAHAHAHAHAHA ROMO

^true xxxxxxp

really, really need pittsburgh here

YES

thankin u cowboys for your lolz and yr helpin my team out

how the fuk did pitt win this game - they had like 67 yards totl offense through 3 quarters

i mean what was tony romo even looking at down there

omfg i love tomlin

xxp 14 pts in 30 seconds

maybe next time it's 19 degrees out romo will stop being a lol hardman and put on some sleeves

who am i kidding, he'll still throw three interceptions then too

unless they are magic sleeves

guys fuk tony romo tomlin is the best coach in the nfl he chest bumped big ben

u guys see that shirtless guy in the stands poring ice water all over himself - prob at the hospital right now

the officiating in this game has been absolutely retarded, none of the spots have made any sense and everyone's pulling egregious penalties and not getting called

xpost tomlin is great tho fwiw in terms of best coaches, in the jets game phil simms explained that singletary said at the half that he told the defense "it's time to put on big boy pants" <--- this is key

xxpost yeah wtf was that? also how was no one sitting next to him freaking the fuck out about him throwing ice water all over everything

lol giants clinch today after all

lol

t.o. iz madd

when is he not?

ok troo

wow t.o. - was he just shouting at romo?

i guess if i were a steelers fan in the stands for the last 1:00 of this game, i wouldn't care

http://www.washrun.org/clubnews/news/terrell_owens.jpg
i guess not mad here

xpost the ice water guy was doing that back in the first quarter!!!

clearly the reason for the loss was not getting the ball to t.o. on every play.

maybe they were thinking "i kinda feel bad getting mad at this ice water guy right before he dies"

"let's not anger the crazy suicidal man further"

lol @ roethlisberger's line...it's so typical of him. something like 17/33 200yds 1/0

^80.0 pssrting

That NO/ATL game looked like a really good one.

It wasn't on TV around here, I got to watch the Colts dismantle the Bengals. Bengal QB Ryan Fitzpatrick (with the help of some of his receivers) pretty much gave the Colts 17 points, with a couple of interceptions and drop in the end zone leading to a field goal. The Colts offense is not really clicking, they will drive the ball then completely stall, kind of like a car with something screwy in the fuel injector system. I'm beginning to think that Addai's days as a quality back are gone, he doesn't have the burst anymore and is not enough of a banger to make up for it.

gah this 60min profile of julien schnabel is unbearable

hes at an opening wearing pajamas

ok, just saw ice water dude, i thought he was just spilling stuff out of a cup or something, WTF! who does that?!

u gize i turned off the stillers game and played video games instead

Hi NFL thread! So today the Patriots played an old-school, early 2000s Patriots game, coming from behind and making big plays in the second half while totally shutting the other team down after helping them look good early. I'm just going to ignore the fact that the team they did this to was the 2008 Seahawks.

Oh and fuck both the Cowboys and the Steelers apparently. Glad as hell I missed that one.

antwaan randle el just said his name in a hilarious manner - anyone see that

Missed it but he always goofs up those player intros--to attempt to make up for being a bad player.

dc run d not looking so hot

well, good to see the redskins haven't changed. campbell.. <sigh>

duke suggs is a pretty incredible name

This game is going to be a massacre. Ravens are really really well-coached.

this flacco kids got the juice imo like the way his passes look

Additionally I would not want him running into me.

he is big also he rides a bicycle according to john madden

how does now owning a car make him 'unassuming'

*not owning

he unassumed a car

Awww he was down but Ed Reed is such a hero.

backpedaling into end zone a+

I think I'm officially rooting for AZ to get to the Super Bowl now, just because they haven't even won their division since 1975 and now have it clenched.

o my challenging rulings

gonna go back to hating the NFL soon

Don't think I like that ruling.

its pretty lame like the ball is moving around slightly in yr arm and thats considered the beginning of a fumble even tho it doesnt pop out til u hit the ground - the ball moves around all the time in a nonfumble situation too - total bullshit way of looking at things really

ok, that was a good play on 3rd and long. few and far between.

xpost Yup, looked like textbook ground causing fumble to me.

wowo sellers rad run

<3 <3 <3 sellers hurdling again

WO IST WASHINGTON LEFT TACKLE?

man wtf @ mcgahee he looks truly awful

lol @ when they showed the BAL owner he was getting a beer

niice ravens owner sitting outside his box in the cold drinkin a brew

http://img224.imageshack.us/img224/1194/wilffinatorkz4.jpg

gj fox

omg michael phelps u r the worst u and yr crew all fucking w/yr phones fu - btw this game is boooring

Per one source, however, Allen believed after the hit that he was out for the year, and he insisted on playing so that he could go out in a blaze of glory.

yeah i am in #FO (lol) and nobody's even talkin about this horrid ass game

this game should be like 7-0 or 0-0

i will say tho, balz and indy are deffo the afc teams i'd least want to see in the playoffs at this point

i mean, if i was a team playing them, not least-want-to-see in the least want to watch sense

http://www.startribune.com/sports/vikings/35688854.html

so we all saw this on fox, right? did any of YOU see the naked player and just failed to alert the rest of the class?

dogg did u see the pic i just posted

no -- i have to log out to see pix! my bad bro

first plaxico shoots himself in the groin, now this -- cooley is catching so many breaks this year in avoiding "most embarassing moment"

i guess this game could be worse, but.. just like lots of other games, offense prob racked up quite a few more yards than the ravens but keeps stalling out.

Nice safe trick play.

ok the geico ad with the pile of money on a window washing platform is my fav commercial ever

you live a sheltered life

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3752018&campaign=rss&source=ESPNHeadlines

uh

youtube.com/watch?v=0HSCl8m_A38

there's a GLEAM

imo

oh no, no no, i hope none of the teams i want to watch next year ever play the browns

fumble y/n QUICK

fumble.

i think wash. picking up deangelo hall was prob a good plan.

i think it was a fumb too...the ball was moving (but not out) just before the knee went down

o u nuggnutt u

if portis was a fumble that was most def a fumble.

ravens D is too good in red zone

wow they just showed a graphic "ravens opponents ahve not scored a TD in prev 46 drives - franchise record"

holy shit, redskins scored a touchdown.

wtf is Jim Zorn doing?

punishing us

did mason just do some moonwalker shits for a celebration?

runrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunrunBOMB

yesss and the eagles move up in the wild card race :)

<sigh>. skins can't beat any good teams.

Westbrook showed up big these last two games. They have been such great games to watch.

I think it's more good defenses. Their offense looks totally punchless half the time. You're not going to drive on Baltimore with that three-step drop shit.

i wish someone other than madden was calling this game so i'd learn something.

BUT MICHAEL PHELPS IS A GREAT PERSON AND LIKES NFL

Annnnnd fuck running plays with :02 left down 14. Peace out y'all.

seriously, listening to these guys on the local postgame show talk about this is completely aggravating. keys to the game: turnovers, and not getting pressure on joe the flacco. ya think?!

also brian mitchell's expert commentary every week is that any explanation whatsoever for anything negative that happened on the field is "making excuses"

Buffalo is a mirage
Buffalo is a mirage
Buffalo is a mirage
Buffalo is a mirage
Buffalo is a mirage
Buffalo is a mirage
Buffalo is a mirage
Buffalo is a mirage
Buffalo is a mirage
Buffalo is a mirage
Buffalo is a mirage

Officer, I Just Shot Seven People (Bo Jackson Overdrive), Sunday, September 14, 2008 8:58 AM

― rogermexico., Sunday, September 14, 2008 4:47 PM (2 months ago) Bookmark

Seriously, suck it Buffalo. You all suck. Thanks for letting us sweep you.

Jets are 0-3 against California teams.

Seriously, suck it Buffalo. You all suck. Thanks for letting us sweep you.

― Eater of Mexicans (Bo Jackson Overdrive), Sunday, December 7, 2008 11:27 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i really don't have anything to say to this, because you were right and the bills are an embarrassment right now, but i have decided that i hate you.

me 2!

hey ally, ban bo jackson overdrive

Can you anyone tell me what Philadelphia has to do to make the playoffs? They are still within winning the Wild Card, right?

User has been successfully banned for 6 days

No sore winners on ILNFL

<3

on the other channel, sf is beating the jets a+

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Sunday, December 7, 2008 4:55 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

^^^otm

mordy: i just checked the standings. looks like philly has to win out, and atlanta has to lose at least one game, and we get the second spot. or, the loser of the CAR-TB game tonight has to lose twice more. but philly really really needs to win out.

u boned

no way philly beats the resurgent Browns next Monday night.

so I hate living in New England because I never ever get to see Vikings games

lolling @ bo jackson overdrive situation

also dan 4pm next sunday you will get to see a vikings game, it's the only game on fox.

! YAY

um wait i take it back because new england is on cbs at 4:15 :( i thought it was only pit-bal and den-car on cbs.

okay that was just cruel of you, I am weeping bitter tears of hating the Patriots now

lol boston

vikes were just on nationally last week ya know

also this is sooo OTM:

but i will never be able to get over the fact that brad childress looks like a simpsons caricature of a 7th grade biology teacher

― Bomb Sackantino (J0rdan S.), Sunday, December 7, 2008 9:09 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Last week I hadn't decided to actually try to watch one of their games!

lol i tried to watch it. it was not easy!

last game of season is giants-minnesota over xmas holiday

oh that will be FUN

I'll probably have to watch the Steelers with my father-in-law, though.

CURSE YOU FOOTBALL SEASON

childress looks like this dude: http://blogs.amctv.com/breaking-bad/bryan_cranston_chat_325.JPG

i'm going to be watching it in minnesota which will be a horrible reversal from the forcing-vikings-fan-to-watch-only-giants-games-with-giants-fans situation i've currently held court over D:

dang you may be able to watch yr beloved vikes via (http://atdhe.net) and/or (http://www.myp2pforum.eu/nfl-cfl-afl). dunno, tho -- the no fun league is pretty vigilant about stamping out this stuff

big ups to your father-in-law, btw

steelers fan cut me off in traffic yesterday, but i was feeling too good about romo int (3) to do anything but smile

:\

did anyone else notice this awesome espn stat they flashed earlier in the game - '3rd most carries in the NFL - minimum 100 carries'

fantastic

got kruk working the stats now? / morbs

I thought it said yards per carry, but it could easily have said carries and my brain filled it out and read something less stupid.

did anyone else notice how much jeff garcia looks like jerry jones? is botox on the banned substance list?

this game has actually been pretty good btw

these teams should be allowed on tv more often

i like the panthereses sassy night at the roxbury celebration dance

yeah this is a good game, i don't think i've seen too many of those lately

a+++ dance, you are right

feelin this game

suddenly tampa getting completely run over
plenty of time though. this is good.

i might not watch any more redskins this season to avoid hating nfl again.

did team espn figure out, if they give kornheiser a stack of random stats to announce, he will have less opportunity to say stupid things?

WOW, that catch!

http://i404.photobucket.com/albums/pp127/deanofsomething/tampa.jpg

http://assets.espn.go.com/photo/2008/1208/nfl_u_williams_stewart_412.jpg