When I throw up the ‘X,’ that means it’s time to put the kids to bed. It’s X-rated out there! The 2011 NFL Week 4 Thread

Detroit at Dallas
Carolina at Chicago
Buffalo at Cincinnati
Tennessee at Cleveland
Minnesota at Kansas City
Washington at St. Louis
New Orleans at Jacksonville
Pittsburgh at Houston
San Francisco at Philadelphia
NY Giants at Arizona
Atlanta at Seattle
Miami at San Diego
New England at Oakland
Denver at Green Bay
NY Jets at Baltimore
Indianapolis at Tampa Bay

Detroit at Dallas-- Lions
Carolina at Chicago --Bears
Buffalo at Cincinnati--Bills
Tennessee at Cleveland --Browns
Minnesota at Kansas City --VIkings
Washington at St. Louis -- Rams
New Orleans at Jacksonville-- Saints
Pittsburgh at Houston-- Texans
San Francisco at Philadelphia --49ers
NY Giants at Arizona --Giants
Atlanta at Seattle-- Falcons
Miami at San Diego-- Chargers
New England at Oakland-- Raiders
Denver at Green Bay--Packers
NY Jets at Baltimore--Ravens
Indianapolis at Tampa Bay-- Buccaneers

http://i.imgur.com/XZWSv.jpg

Detroit at Dallas
Carolina at Chicago
Buffalo at Cincinnati
Tennessee at Cleveland
Minnesota at Kansas City
Washington at St. Louis
New Orleans at Jacksonville
Pittsburgh at Houston
San Francisco at Philadelphia
NY Giants at Arizona
Atlanta at Seattle
Miami at San Diego
New England at Oakland
Denver at Green Bay
NY Jets at Baltimore
Indianapolis at Tampa Bay

29-19 on the year

Detroit at Dallas-- Lions
Carolina at Chicago --Bears
Buffalo at Cincinnati--Bills
Tennessee at Cleveland --Browns
Minnesota at Kansas City --VIkings
Washington at St. Louis -- Rams
New Orleans at Jacksonville-- Saints
Pittsburgh at Houston-- Texans
San Francisco at Philadelphia --Phi
NY Giants at Arizona --Giants
Atlanta at Seattle-- Falcons
Miami at San Diego-- Chargers
New England at Oakland-- Raiders
Denver at Green Bay--Packers
NY Jets at Baltimore--Ravens
Indianapolis at Tampa Bay-- Buccaneers <--- is this really Monday?

i'm like dante hall / i just throw up the x

shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots! shots!

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/09/27/jason-taylor-chad-henne-is-more-talented-than-mark-sanchez/

wow, what a ringing endorsement!

well tbf, mark sanchez has won two super bowls

10-6 last wk; 34-14 on the season

Detroit at Dallas-- Dallas
Carolina at Chicago --Bears
Buffalo at Cincinnati--Bills
Tennessee at Cleveland --Titans
Minnesota at Kansas City --vikings
Washington at St. Louis -- skins
New Orleans at Jacksonville-- Saints
Pittsburgh at Houston-- pitt
San Francisco at Philadelphia --eagles
NY Giants at Arizona --Giants
Atlanta at Seattle-- Falcons
Miami at San Diego-- Chargers
New England at Oakland-- Pats
Denver at Green Bay--Packers
NY Jets at Baltimore--Jets
Indianapolis at Tampa Bay-- Buccaneers

8 and 8 (yuck) last week, 30-18 overall

Detroit at Dallas - Lions, Romo may die
Carolina at Chicago - Bears should be up and angry for this; it's a major gut check
Buffalo at Cincinnati - GO FITZ
Tennessee at Cleveland - Tennessee but not with any joy
Minnesota at Kansas City - minnesota in the BATTLE OF THE 0z
Washington at St. Louis - Still think the skins are better than they look
New Orleans at Jacksonville - New Orleans should really light up the board here
Pittsburgh at Houston - Houston in a minor upset
San Francisco at Philadelphia - Iggles even with Gregor Samsa at QB
NY Giants at Arizona - Cardinals; the giants seemed lucky to me this week
Atlanta at Seattle - Picking Falcons as my survival choice
Miami at San Diego - Chargers
New England at Oakland - Pats but this should be a solid scrappy game
Denver at Green Bay - THE BELT
NY Jets at Baltimore - Ravens but I'm really unsure about this
Indianapolis at Tampa Bay - bucs over cololts

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ls5rzjTPrl1qzjykfo1_400.png

so is it time for us to just accept that Ryan Fitzpatrick is awesome?

im not entirely convinced its that time yet

yeah awesome is a major stretch right now

"better than chad henne" is appropriate, tho.

Detroit at Dallas - Lions
Carolina at Chicago - Bears Bears Bears
Buffalo at Cincinnati - Biiiiiills
Tennessee at Cleveland - Browns
Minnesota at Kansas City - CHIEFZ
Washington at St. Louis - Skins
New Orleans at Jacksonville - Saints
Pittsburgh at Houston - Texans
San Francisco at Philadelphia - Eagles
NY Giants at Arizona - Cards
Atlanta at Seattle - Falcons
Miami at San Diego - Chargers
New England at Oakland - PATS
Denver at Green Bay - Pack
NY Jets at Baltimore - Ravens
Indianapolis at Tampa Bay - Bucs

y'know, these threads would be way more exciting if we actually guessed on the lines. like is anyone seriously taking Jax here?

my picks:

Dallas -1.5
Saints -8
Skins pk
Browns -1
Bills -4.5
Vikings -3
Panthers +6.5
Steelers +4
Falcons -5.5
Giants -3
Dolphins +7
Packers -13 (in reality I never really gamble on such a big line, but I can see this game being total disaster for Denver)
Pats -6
Jets +3.5
Colts +10

IRL I am almost definitely taking that Steelers line, plus I think I'm gonna tease the Lions to +7.5 and the Saints to -2

also just teased 6.5 for Saints -1.5 and Tennessee +7.5, seems like a real solid bet

I actually would go with Denver +13. +13 is a loooot.

bets I've made so far are Lions +1 and Vikings -1.5

get your parlay card ready

Lions +1.5
Saints -8
Rams pk (surprised this is a pickem)
Browns -1
Bills -4.5
Vikings -3
Bears -6.5
Texans -4 (texans pendulum swings back to a win this week)
Falcons -5.5
Giants -3
Dolphins +7
Broncos +13
Raiders +6
Ravens -3.5
Colts +10

I went 12-4 in my pool this week and now I'm feeling stressed about next week...fuck...feel like Cincinnati's gonna upset the Bills but what a stupid pick that looks like...damn...pressure getting to me

Matt where'd you get Vikes -1.5?
As for the Pack/Broncos game, betting on lines that are like 12+ points is really difficult since a lot of these games can feature a team that's not really trying to score in the 4th quarter, I've been burned before w/ garbage time touchdowns and it really sucks. Obviously if New England's involved you don't really have to worry. But I don't see any advantage Denver has in this matchup, and the Pack's playing at home to boot, I can really see this game being like 14-0 after 8 minutes.

guys i'm going to gently suggest that you make a football gambling thread if you see this being a regular conversation?

yeah, the rest of us non-degenerates have no interest in it

no interest? don't you think debating whether the Packers will win by 14 or more is more interesting than "yes, I think Green Bay will win this one"? the truth about pick 'em polls is that it's very hard to outperform a guy who's always picking the team with the best record over a full season.

I actually don't understand what the gambling stuff means - point spread etc. I could Google it and learn obvs but the reason why I don't is that I also don't care
That said it doesn't bother me any if you talk about it

It's easy, taking Chicago -6.5 means you are betting that Chicago wins by 6.5 or more (their score minus 6.5), while Carolina +6.5 means you are taking their score plus that many points. So if you had Carolina and the score was Bears 27, Panthers 24, you'd still win

I only really bring it up because I think just picking the winner is useless as pretty much everyone's going to pick the Bears, or any other team that's favored by like 5 or more, so I predict everyone's going to have the same picks for like half these matches

well for one thing a lot of us participate in a yahoo pick'em group that uses confidence points so it's not just like things are endlessly tied. also if you actually read folk's picks closely it is interesting to see who has different ideas about some of the key games.

imo spreads aren't interesting because they say a lot less about football than they do about how ppl will spend their gambling money. but i know it's the kind of thing some ppl enjoy going on and on about which i why i was saying it's a perfectly valid thread topic.

your example is kind of weird too--granted the bears are at home but they kind of suck--carolina is a perfectly reasonable upset pick there.

I'm not sure on exact odds but I think 6.5 points is roughly 2:1 when it comes to pick'em, sure you might think Carolina can upset them (Fins could upset SD as well), but if I offer $10 for guessing the winner, is anyone actually picking Carolina there? I don't want to get into hardcore math or talk about standard deviations here, but the Vegas line is extremely unlikely to ever be "off" more than 2 or 3 points, so if all you care about is getting picks right, you'd have to be insane to pick Carolina. Just because they're associated with gambling doesn't mean this has to be gambling talk, IMO they say a lot more about football than a simple pick'em does

yeah but your premise is flawed because there's no money involved here--just the pride that comes from picking the games right! there's a nice little feeling from picking an upset that most folks missed.

I actually don't understand what the gambling stuff means - point spread etc. I could Google it and learn obvs but the reason why I don't is that I also don't care

^ this

i dont care about the weekly picks either, its just a way to jumpstart discussion for the week's games

I understand spreads but don't care about them.

I stopped doing picks because I am relentlessly bad at them.

everyone otm -- start a new thread

so two week 4 threads? that's stupid
for the record, I also think the Packers and Saints will win this week.

you could just make it an rolling gambling on nfl thread.

no, man -- just "football point spreads 2011" or some shit

if it's only like 2 or 3 ppl posting you guys won't need a new thread every week

we start new general threads every week bcuz every single one is like 900 posts

i mean i pretty much don't start reading these threads until the end of the week bcuz i don't care about ppl's picks but the thread is also updated infrequnetly enough that it's not a huge deal

yeah during the midweek this thread is more for breaking news and general nfl vibin

you could just make it an rolling gambling on nfl thread.

I don't really want to talk about gambling, I want to actually discuss who's favored and who's being under/overvalued. I'm not saying that everyone should be guessing on point spreads but I don't understand the uproar when a couple of us do it..?

yeah during the midweek this thread is more for breaking news and general nfl vibin

ummm discussing what the spreads are have to be included in this, don't they? or do we really not care that much about who is likely to win the games?

there was no uproar--it was a gentle suggestion.

to repeat, my sense is that a lot of ppl here are not interested in point spreads, as a vehicle for gambling or otherwise. i have no issue if a few folks do want to chat about those things, and i think a rolling point spread thread would probably foster that discussion and let yall get pretty deep into it.

the only spreads I want to talk about are the spread offense and sometimes cheese

http://www.footballtimes.org/AdvHTML_Upload/Spread60.gif

http://pinchmysalt.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/img_0844-version-2.jpg

that's cheese? looks like cinnamon malted babyshit to me

There is pumpkin in there too for some reason.

People are animals.

Surprising headlines: Bob Sanders has been placed on IR.

ok, can we discuss why the Colts hold onto Curtis Painter? apparently he doesn't even get to practice that much and got almost no reps when Manning was QB. when Manning goes down, they sign Kerry Collins (which is turning out to be a terrible signing). when Collins goes down, they work out other QBs to replace him. why have Painter on the team at all? why are you paying a guy that you obviously don't want to ever run out there? why not go after Gerrard?

melvin bullit and gary brackett also ir'd--colts truly snakebitten.

and yeah, the painter thing is a complete mystery. i think bringing in collins was a supreme act of vanity by polian but now i just have no idea.

Over everything I can't understand why Garrard does not have a job, he's much better than anyone the Jags or Colts have, and theoretically should be better than Hasselbeck, plus he should know those systems well - all you really have to do is beat the Texans. I really don't get the Jags' decision at all. If they wanted to start Gabbert, why not do it from Week 1? If they really thought McCown was a legit option, why bench him after two games? Is there any way to argue that this is anything other than the Jags cutting costs in lieu of actually trying to win?

I'd think the 49ers or Seahawks might be interested too...? I mean 7 wins should take the NFC West again

JEFF GARCIA!

But really, like I said before, Indy should just tank 2011 and draft Andrew Luck.

I mean, their entire system is built to revolve around a quarterback. It will never be Curtis Painter, and maybe not ever be Peyton Manning again. Either replace the integral piece or take half a decade to rebuild from scratch.

Well if they're going to tank, Jim Caldwell is the man you want.

I don't really think Tony Dungy was a great coach, but I'm pretty sure they'd win the 2009 Super Bowl with him

I also take the weekly picks seriously enough to pick "ban this game" or "nobody" as the winner a couple times a week, lol - but anyway looks like it all worked out also BRADY CUT HIS HAIR <drudgesiren.gif>

Dont know where to put this, but this new Payton book is going to be depressing for a guy like me who grew up worshipping him:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/football/nfl/09/27/walterpayton.book/index.html?eref=sihp&sct=hp_wr_a31&sct=hp_bf3_a2

:(

Yah that's sad.
What's the deal with Vince Young btw? Kinda shocked that he's not trying to gut out at least one start, injury or no. Isn't that how Vick's career got jumpstarted?

he's out of shape and doesn't know the offense

i think he has a bum hamstring too. Plus it's gonna be hard to overcome the fact that he's Vince Young.

He's living in a Kafkaesque nightmare.

Vince Young seemed like an arrogant signing to me. Like they think he'll magically improve as a pocket passer in Philly because Vick did.

He's 30-18 as a starter in the NFL. He isn't perfect, but someone was gonna grab him.

yeah i mean he's not derek anderson

Detroit at Dallas-- lions till they lose tbh
Carolina at Chicago --panthers!
Buffalo at Cincinnati--bills till they lose wtf
Tennessee at Cleveland --tits
Minnesota at Kansas City --chiefs
Washington at St. Louis --ugly game. skins.
New Orleans at Jacksonville-- nola
Pittsburgh at Houston--texans
San Francisco at Philadelphia --eagles
NY Giants at Arizona --gints
Atlanta at Seattle-- falcs
Miami at San Diego-- bolts
New England at Oakland-- pats
Denver at Green Bay--packers
NY Jets at Baltimore--ravens
Indianapolis at Tampa Bay-- bucs

lot of weird, risky games this week! i dig it.

browns vs titans

Browns have a ridic schedule the first couple of months of the season and I had them penciled in at 2-1 with a loss to the Colts (before Manning's injury became season ending). They don't play the Ravens or the Steelers until December which does not bode well because those teams usually improve as the season wears on while the Browns are on their 3rd string QB and a team full of staph infected invalids. Chris Johnson, I fear, will have his breakout game this Sunday, plus Browns have a lot of trouble against even mediocre defenses. Still, it's early and last year they got to the Saints, Pats and Jets before completely collapsing. This is a greatest possible schedule until the snow falls and even with a loss to the Titans these guys could be 7-3 before the hammer splits open hopes like a barrel of dream dashing monkeys cracking pie-eyed walnuts within a hurricane of degradation:

Oakland Raiders
Seattle Seahawks
San Francisco 49ers
Houston Texans
St. Louis Rams
Jacksonville Jaguars
Cincinnati Bengals

*actually 7-4 but whatever the season is over

12 - 4 last week. lots of road victories this week?

Detroit at Dallas
Carolina at Chicago
Buffalo at Cincinnati
Tennessee at Cleveland
Minnesota at Kansas City
Washington at St. Louis
New Orleans at Jacksonville
Pittsburgh at Houston
San Francisco at Philadelphia
NY Giants at Arizona
Atlanta at Seattle
Miami at San Diego
New England at Oakland
Denver at Green Bay
NY Jets at Baltimore
Indianapolis at Tampa Bay

Am I alone in thinking the Steelers are not very good? Browns will be just fine this year.

Chris Johnson, I fear, will have his breakout game this Sunday

I think so too.

everyone seems to want to think that the steelers have lost a step. need a few more games to see if it's true.

Detroit at Dallas - I still can't take the Lions on the road even though they screwed me last week in Minnesota. Dallas has probowl talent and pop warner brains, but I'm taking them to win either way.
Carolina at Chicago- Bears to win even though I am a fanboy, should be an interesting game, which is something you couldn't say most of the time about ANY Carolina Panther game.
Buffalo at Cincinnati- I'm probably way wrong but I'm taking the Bengals in an upset. It's not like they are on TV around here anyway (as it's not a sellout again).
Tennessee at Cleveland- God, I don't know either of these clubs or really can measure how good they are - I chose the Browns, but who knows really.
Minnesota at Kansas City- I got the Vikes on the road. They are a pretty decent 0-3 club really. What's the deal- give Petersen the damn ball. I can't believe that the head coach is that unhooked into his own offense.
Washington at St. Louis- I went Rams for some reason. Don't buy the Skins and the Rams are better than their record (I think).
New Orleans at Jacksonville- Saints can tend to play down to their opponent, but I think they SHOULD win.
Pittsburgh at Houston- I still can't buy the Texans until they beat someone good. I think talent wise they might hang with the Steelers, but they haven't beaten the Steelers or Pats etc.
San Francisco at Philadelphia- Eagles but I could see something weird happening.
NY Giants at Arizona- Should be the Giants, as even with all the injuries they got some real beef up front both on the o and d lines. They pushed the Eagles f-ing around last week.
Atlanta at Seattle- Falcons better win.
Miami at San Diego- SD should win, but they still have Norv as coach.
New England at Oakland- I'm picking Oaktown, as I just WANT them to win more than think they can get it done.
Denver at Green Bay- GB should outclass them.
NY Jets at Baltimore- Don't really know about either club, as both of them have laid an egg this year. Took b-more, as the Jets gave up a crapload of yards to the Raiders. This one would have to be about as obnoxious a group of players as you can get in the NFL 2011.
Indianapolis at Tampa Bay- Tampa should win, but the Colts D did man up last week. If blondie can complete 60% of his passes, it might be interesting.

the Rams are better than their record

Their defense is, but that offense is sorely lacking.

Arian Foster looks great

dan dierdorf is a talking mustache

dez bryant just jumped over the CB and caught a td

lol @ the j-ville field w/ wrong facing ydage arrows

can anyone hit me w/ an iggles stream?

dec looked basically unstoppable on that catch

dez*

kev

http://live-sports.me/streams.html
http://www.firstrowsports.tv/

steelers just getting gashed over and over up the middle, even by schaub.

arian foster looks pretty much unstoppable

he's so big

he looks like a LB playing RB

11 mind TD drive to open the game ain't bad

i know the dallas/detroit game is by far the most exciting thing happening but i have a v important redskins/rams contest to watch right now

i really wanted to watch saints/jags, for some reason not that not even i can understand

heheheh pittsburgh called for 'taunting'

he must have said something awesome

apparently colin kapernick is in at qb for SF

touchdown, washington redskins!

and this fox broadcast keeps cutting out for a few seconds at a time. i blame snyder

rofflesberger! sacked! loose ball! and the texans have it
loooooooooooooooool

ruh roh big ben

BEN SACKED AND FUMBLED WHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

awww they called it back :(

this is a seriously officious game here

the steelers' o line is getting bum rushed every play

goooooood LAWD

next texans drive should take us to halftime.

darren sproles has been really good

man the texans are gonna find a way to blow this aren't they....

come on Romo, give me a pick 6.

dez bryant

bears have 17 points, have thrown 1 pass

devin hester absolutely dominating on returns today.

24 pts now haha

DO NOT KICK IT TO DEVIN HESTER

oh fuuuuuuuck

andre johnson hurt...... hope it's just a hammy

he was holding his knee...

maybe it's a hammy

to me it looks like a hamstring pull but who knows

houston professional football is the ultimate in snakebit huh?

tv just told me that the rams leading the league in missed tackles is "a skewed stat because they play from behind a lot". rmde

rams keep dropping passes because they're about to get hit by landry obvs

arian foster is a man

matt stafford with negative fantasy points :(

cam newton w/ 2 rushing TDs

bradford -> SACK, FUMBLE

ryan kerrigan again!

ryan kerrigan is solid

"THIS GUY does not play like a rookie"

it should be noted that drafting pass rushers results in probably the greatest washout rate amongst high draft picks, and the skins seem to have gotten two stars in orakpo & kerrigan

TOUCHDOWN washington redskins!

yeah i'm 100% amazed that the skins managed to draft those guys and it worked out
if only they had sean taylor right now in the secondary along with landry, that was the plan..

oh stafford just had a brett favre special

but in a good way

arguably saved the game?

don't they usually slack off for the 1st half of every game anyways

detroit can't run the ball

Yes, Joe Buck, how ironic that Clayton Kershaw once played for a team called the Dodgers.

detroit can't run the ball in large part because their offensive line blows.

joe buck is such a cock

Ironic that Joe Buck got a job in sportscasting when his father did the same thing.

really really dumb block in the back by the texans on a blocked FG return.

smhouston

that's the second almost-INT rex has thrown in this game

wait how was that pick the bengals QB's fault when the receiver basically handed the guy the football

wow guy on the eagles tried to lateral the ball AT THE GOAL LINE
i keep wondering what the eagles do in practice that stuff like this keeps happening

the jaguars field is hideous

ronnie brown is actually the worst player in the nfl

lol @ todd haley/matt cassell screaming match btw

really?!
i bet cassell's been wanting to do that for YEARS

http://i50.tinypic.com/2yo4rh1.gif

http://i49.tinypic.com/10z3hxf.jpg

ronnie brown is actually the worst player in the nfl

btw this is otm

classic texans collapse forthcoming.

rams tweet of the day "If we threw a Haters Ball for the Rams they would drop it."

blocked kick!

king dunlap blocked akers on a fg. wonder if fans are still upset we cut akers

"If we threw a Haters Ball for the Rams they would drop it."

hah. this is great. bradford isn't getting any help from his receivers that's for sure

i wonder where coooooooley's been most of this season. i've seen a few comments from him where he's really happy about fred davis' success etc and i'm thinking, shouldn't you be a little worried about your job?

these are some really depressing blowouts here...

good grief rex you need a yard for the first down why you going to run 15 yards across the field first

rex rex rex what are you even doing that's a third pass that could've been picked by a more competent football team

lol romo pick 6

cleveland obviously emotionally and physically exhausted from last week's epic struggle against miami.

With his 22nd career rush TD, Rashard Mendenhall moves into tie with Walter Abercrombie for 10th place all time in Steelers history.

lololol

1st-10, Chicago 29
C. Godfrey intercepted J. Cutler for 9 yards

GREE HEHE

rohohoho

oh arian

ANOTHER romo pick 6?

OH, TONY

<3 gus johnson cassel > bowe call

god dammit nnamdi

the steelers o line is not very good

dan dierdorf wants to put his face in ben's crotch, apparently

wait is that TWO romo pick six? i need to be watching this game

yeah lol @ dierdorf "WHAT A PLAY BY BEN ROETHLISBERGER" (play results in incomplete pass)

the texans' safety just made a huge hit on hines ward to jar the ball loose on third down, and dierdorf's first analysis is "OH MY GAAAAAWD, WHAT A PLAY BY BEN. HOW DID HE STAY ALIVE THERE???"

dierdorf is p awful

announcers on the redskins/rams game were making fun of romo in the first half "what does he have now, a couple cracked ribs? two punctured lungs"

HELLO BAD REX

yeah ok that wasn't on rex alright i know but..

drew brees is 30-39 today

the steelers o line is not very good

too tru

so tennessee is actually pretty good?

imagine if the titans had a running back!

dan dierdorf: "i'm not a doctor"

SACK THAT ASSHOLE

roffles getting sacked will never not be entertaining

alllright Texans!

AYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

that was an awesome play by mario

wow calvin jr

oh man, can detroit do it again?

megatron has the throne as long as andre johnson is out

jesus christ, that is not even fair. it's really not.

"sometimes you just marvel at ben roethlisberger's raw athleticism and awareness of everything going on around him"

god, dan dierdorf needs to STFU

"while sexually assaulting women" xp

on the game losing drive, no less

fuck how is there still 12 mins left in this dallas game

nobody wants to score in the second half of this bears/panthers game

oh man, stafford

HAHAHAH ROFFLES

oh man, i switched the game. what happened?

damn, houston! why you going to screw it up like that!

roffles pick six
but then one of the houstons had to hit the QB late so it was all called back :(

meanwhile rams made this a ballgame and then BAD REX showed up

the minnesota vikings are... not very good

matt forte.

did greg gumbel really just say "texans in their win the game formation?"

marion barber just scored a TD and celebrated by doing a backflip onto his face

1st-10, Houston 11
J. Allen intercepted B. Roethlisberger for no gain

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_WH2yh36c2LM/SFp88kcLnpI/AAAAAAAAAJY/W33ZQRHlZsk/s400/Kool-AidMan.jpg

man I can't believe I'm gonna be stuck with broncos-packers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDnE4Vd3RxI

fuckin red zone quad box is intense

guys, oakland

http://cache.heraldinteractive.com/blogs/sports/rap_sheet/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/pats3.jpg

good lord how is buffalo tied in this game?!

ROMO!!!!!

jesus that was shit. lol

Lolromo

hey they didn't run it back for a TD this time.

welp

bengals d seems p good

bills d...leaves something to be desired

calvin johnson, man

megatron or death

there was a "beat"down "happening" when he plowed into the dallas secondary there

dallas wat happen

it's one thing when you're team sucks and you're just rooting for the upset every week. it's another when they're talking themselves up as the dream team and then blow 3 leads 3 games in a row the latest against SF. fuck this.

your*

lol dallas

calvin with his standard 2 touchdowns.

DETROIT <3

http://i.imgur.com/xxTan.jpg
sup?

tebow at quarterback!

tackled for a loss!

that went well

ROMO

http://oi51.tinypic.com/ipz8lj.jpg

fire juan castillo

fire juan castillo and fire Alex Henery

DALLOLS

that's 4th down hahahaha

lawlzy

cris carter bumped calvin up to 5th best last week, wonder what he'll say now.

Good job on counting downs Dallas Cowboys, Joe Buck.

YAY DETROIT

first buck wonders if romo can even throw it to the end zone.. then romo doesn't remember it's 4th down.. then buck takes a while to realize the game is over.. A+ DALLAS

if the eagles ship doesn't get turned around soon, reid isn't going to have a job next year

Wtf ROMO is trending

chad henne just broke his collarbone

just horrific

dammit richard seymour way to ruin an awesome sack

reid: "in all areas we were terrible today"

reid is fucking crazy if he thinks ppl are going to buy that this defense isn't the number one problem w/ this team. castillo needs to be fired this week.

dammit raiders

i'm surprised at seymour
no need to slam brady into the turf on that play at the start of the drive

i haven't seen much of the eagles but they have mad personnel problems on the d

i just checked the scoreboard to see (a) fins leading 6 -- 0 (o_O) and (b) someone named m. more is miami's quarterback (O_O). how can we be expected to succeed without our franchise QB?

man aaron rodgers is <3

who is miami's qb? poor henne.

matt moore, of carolina panthers fame

that guy has a bright future

raiders so many penalties pull it together

fins have no 3d string quarterback. good luck, m. moore!

this is the weekend of matt moores in FLA

kyle orton with a pick 6

my god, vincent jackson

wait what happened?

pats defense still can't get off the field

GB angling for an 84-3 win.

how in the world can denver fans think tebow is the answer

this jason campbell: i like the cut of his jib

hahahaha campbell will never learn how to slide

v jax is out of his mind

on the one hand i have nothing but respect for the raiders starting shit on every play, but on the other they look like a bunch of idiots.

i feel like it wouldn't be the raiders if they didn't

wes welker is just oo good

too

h8 him >:[

welkah!

of course, if any of the other receivers could get open..

if the defense could make a play or get off the field without giving up a score..

wow brady really did cut his hair (he's just a guy with a new haircut)

moment of silence for devin hester, all-time touchdown-off-punt/kick-returns champion

denver's in the game all of a sudden

oh no not mayo, they can't lose mayo

whoa jerrod mayo :(

oh that's not good, mayo is the #1 key player on that defense

LOVE RAIDERS RECEIVERS AND RBS

bill belichick has a purple pen fyi

maybe i should get a purple pen

Jacoby Ford end arounds!

oh campbell

chung! welcome back man

i was like TAKE A KNEE TAKE A KNEE CMON MAN

lucky with a turnover again. new england defense is significantly worse than last year.

timkawakami: I'd say Campbell threw into double-coverage there, but there has to be a receiver in the area for it to be double-coverage. [via Twitter]

i didn't think the ne defense could get worse but here we are, and no news yet on mayo
ugh

i mean with all the draft picks BB stockpiles every year why haven't they found a pass rusher yet

peter king harps on ^^

ochocinco! HI DERE

all matt moore -- of carolina panthers fame -- ever needed was a chance.

sorry to make a peter king point, heh, but i wonder about what he's doing on defense. they could've picked clay matthews iirc but traded down

take a shot brady GO FOR IT

yeah you gutless bastard.

aaron rodgers is ridiculous

seriously what the fuck was ronnie brown doing

h8 u welkah

fuk this gay earth

:( sorry kev and mordy

<3 rodgers

wow, ridley! where's THIS GUY been

effin pats

my optimism about ridley is almost shining thru my skepticism. most of the time he seems to run tough and decisive, but then he has a couple plays like that screen where he just hopped east and west behind the line of scrimmage for an age until the tackle came. hopefully the coaches can smooth that kind of shit out of his game

aaron rodgers is the best player in the nfl

jason campbell being made to look like the best player in the nfl tbh

the nfl has many dumb rules

i don't get if you run the ball into the endzone you can drop it immediately after you break the plane, but if you catch the ball inside the end zone you have to "fully" possess the ball or w/e

make up your damn minds refs

i don't get if you run the ball into the endzone you can drop it immediately after you break the plane, but if you catch the ball inside the end zone you have to "fully" possess the ball or w/e

― yung huma (J0rdan S.), Sunday, October 2, 2011 6:11 PM (4 minutes ago)

well you have to have possession of the ball, inside the endzone. a runner has possession of the ball so as soon as the ball breaks the plane under his possession, it's a score; a receiver has to establish possession in the first place. if a runner fumbled forward into the endzone he'd have to recover it with two feet in or whatever for it to be a TD

how bad is the nfc east btw, holy shit

brady is just too good

okay i can't watch this game anymore

welker is like the best rb in the nfl

painful to think how different the game would have been if seymour doesn't have that penalty

Darrius Heyward-Bey: no longer the worst receiver in the NFL!

AGAIN

WILFORK!

oh man

he is the interception leader on the team

wilfork island

loll

This game is sadface

LOL daria

i know VG. i like your raiders but too many mistakes.

2 keys to beating the pats: cover welker, throw away from wilfork. it's easy after that.

btw aaron rodgers has 78 tds today

Tebow watch?

nantz is almost BEGGING for Tebow

lol why is nantz at that game

how is tim tebow going to stop rodgers from putting up 49 points

i don't even want to know what is going on in the bird bowl

;_;

sorry brownie

it was a sad week

at least there's detroit

o detroit

miss u

how did cinci win idgi

don't answer, this week is behind us

haha they played really good d. and then pretty good offense in the second half. the bills just couldn't stop them.

so weird

That cincy couldn't be stopped

was it that dalton?

right said spread

this giants gmae

yeah dalton had a great second half! bills could stand to be better at pass rushing. and run stopping; there was also cedric benson.

damn that dalton, flummoxed the browns in week one

the giants game is waht

Why didn't you play like the last series for the whole game, Raiders ffs

GIANTS

i need a team

ugh don't pick the giants

EAGLES

WAIT

dies

"don't kick it to devin hester. this is a public service announcement."

- dan patrick

i always want to take a break from football after the late sunday games end, but nbc highlight show is so good ;_;

CARDS

no, giants

i like to think i'm unbiased about these things - like i'm a yankee fan but could admit the past decade red sox were a really fun team - but i just do not get how the giants are a likeable team

i love bart scott :-(

eh, the bills and lions r my teams. i'm just dramatic

GO JETS

;)

GO JETS

curse you

eli has good memories of cardinals stadium due to a certain win a few seasons ago

rodney: "thanks for reminding me about that, dan"
dan: "oh, you were in that game?"

GO JETS

this is never acceptable

i hope rex ryan has a heart attack

J.E.T.S.

Just Enjoying The Superbowl

guys i love ray rice

stop

IT'S THE RAVENS FYI

i'm sorry! i hate the ravens! but i have to root against the jets! also was ray rice even alive when baltimore stole the browns?

ray rice lent art modell the money to Baltimore in my mind

haha <3

to move to Baltimore

but w/e i'm playing it cool

JJJJJJJJJJEEEEEETTTTTTTSSSSS

i like the ravens! i have a lot of friends from baltimore!

christ

god i love ray lewis

he's like an angel (sorry brownie)

it's hilarious that THE DREAM TEAM was based on signing a cornerback, a defensive end, a wide receiver coming off of microfracture surgery, a third string quarterback and... a running back that tried to throw the ball back to the quarterback as he was being tackled today

jerks everyone

"In the opener against the New York Jets, the Cowboys had been 246-0-1 with a 14-point lead in the fourth quarter. Before Sunday's debacle, the Cowboys' biggest blown lead was 21 points, which last occurred in 1965 against the hated Washington Redskins."

oh my god I had no idea this happened:

"Schwartz was responding to what I thought was such a dumb comment from Cowboys defensive coordinator Rob Ryan that I didn’t write it last week. Asked about Calvin Johnson, Ryan said: "We work against better receivers with Miles Austin and Dez Bryant. They are probably two of the premier receivers in football, but this guy is right there. He’s almost that good. He’s excellent."

lol ray lewis

lol xp

lol ravens

FLACCO MORE LIKE INTERCEPTO

joe flacco is still a vampire fyi

DID COLLINSWORTH JUST COMPARE FLACCO TO PEYTY SMDH

"he looked like peyton manning out there"

alright let's pump the brakes, cris

lol j0rdan

he's like peyton manning if he means that flacco often plays as if he's wearing a neckbrace

amazing coverage by revis on that bomb to smith.

'sup crabs

by peyton manning did cris collinsworth actually mean MICHAEL VICK

I LOVE THIS GAME

ED REED <3

WHEEEEEEEEEEE

oh dear

that's a fumble

yes it is

o c'mon sublime jets

what the fuck

well

whoah

holy

gather 'round Jets fans, let me tell you about the time we beat the Ravens

THIS GUY RAY RICE

RAY RICE YOU LITTLE JUMPING BEAN

i didn't even know ricky williams was playing for the ravens this year!

"ricky williams is now the running back"

lol

ricky williams is one of my favorite athletes ever

he is a genius of our time

oh man

luv the massage therapist anecdote

Ravens are doomed

1st down 5 yards to go

lol sanchez

THE SANCHIZE

gross i didn't know the ravens had bernard pollard :(

now it's 3rd and 8

:/

i love it when certain teams can't even snap the ball properly..

terrible

haloti ngata is going to demolish this kid

haloti ngata is an excellent name

maybe for a raven

I wish b.j. raji, haloti ngata and tamba hali were on the same team.

c'mon flack

oooomg flacco

someone tackle him

ray rice is awesome btw

"that's a roethlisberger type play" except..

i love anquan boldin.

that was like watching a giraffe fend off wildebeasts

'sup jets, we are better than this

are you sure about that, brownie?

ed dickson is very good

R A V E N S

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrray

who knows these days

-al michaels

haha michaels sounded so disgusted

god, these reviews

this new challenge system on scoring plays is so stupid.

the old system was fine, idgi

this is the worst part of college football, adopted by the nfl

are you sure about that, brownie?

― Matt Armstrong, Sunday, October 2, 2011 9:17 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark

never been surer

nick mangold or like nick MANGLED

omg look how cute ray rice is

also i kind of love grumpy al

under the old system the jets would almost certainly not have challenged this.

cris collinsworth passed up a golden "that's what she said" there

oh my god that is the worst story i've ever heard in my entire life

nick mangold kinda looks like chris elliot

if i could describe my hypothetical least favorite person ever, it would be "someone who walks around in public in a sleeveless new york yankees jersey" -- let alone that person being REX RYAN

al is always grumpy! he's like that german christmas demon that haunts ilx

don't talk like that about rex

it's like i made this game up in my head

my god this team

*throws confetti in the air*

heheheheh they caught whatever the cowboys have, this is delightful

wtf sanchez

*afraid to say anything*

it was a good snap!

it's true. if you look in the NFL bylaws, there has to be a bumbling quarterback getting hit in the face with snaps in EVERY sunday night game.

i like how cris collinsworth started to make excuses for sanchez and then was like, "that's not a terrible snap..."

if I was this jets center's mother I would turn the game off. dude is getting blamed for everything.

it's jets time, now

"now, this jets offense has to do something"

- cris collinsworth

oohhhh, plexi

jesus plax

baltimore's been getting away with some unnecessary roughness penalties

all roughness is necessary vs the jets

oh this game has been great

the jets punter gets demolished, oh it might be a roughing the kicker on the ravens.... nope, the jets held

looks like the jets have this game won, i'm off to bed

i know, right? i am afraid to jinx it.

XP

YES

i could drink a case of this and not be full

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

call it a touchdown, it's the J E T S

lol it's still the second quarter

not feeling this

http://l.yimg.com/iu/api/res/1.2/vPayRFjb9gqx8WC8AshgIA--/YXBwaWQ9eXZpZGVvO2NoPTQwMDtjcj0xO2N3PTM2MDtkeD0xNTE7ZHk9MTtmaT11bGNyb3A7aD0yMDA7cT03MDt3PTE4MA--/http://d.yimg.com/a/p/sp/getty/d6/fullj.3a3fe5b356db09a655a4e2acfe43813c/3a3fe5b356db09a655a4e2acfe43813c-getty-127886036.jpg

Here is another classic Romo in repose image to add to your collection.

It's up there with his death pose last year when got hurt and the anguish of the botched extra point.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THAT WAS THE MOST AWESOME TROLL EVER

did rex call a time out just to scream at the refs??????

i think so?

does rex want to challenge a review?

they look like such babies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xgc0u3b60I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xgc0u3b60I

something bills and pats fans can unite about: this game

if mark brunell has to play in this game for any reason he will actually die

lol cris "oh boy"

oh my lawd

I do not know what Mike Carey has against the Jets punter but man that dude is getting blasted.

so the refs are cool w/ the jets punter getting his legs mutilated? sounds good to me!

I LOVE THIS GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME

oh, flacco

1st one: was paying attention to holding on other side of the line

2nd one: Pollard sort of blocked into the kicker

Next one: Ray Lewis gives intimidating stare, reminds Mike Carey that he can get away with murder

oh flacco, you are soooo flacco

i know that's good for the jets but lol flacco

just throw it out of bounds wtf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-ux-mnZTX8

sunday night games are funhouse football

I havent watched much nfl as of late but Ive seen all of the det/dal game and this.. shit is bananas

collinsworth like "seriously THIS GAME"

wait wtf was joe mcknight really blitzing?

I guess this game makes sense given that both the Jets and Ravens seem to be good for 1-2 games per year that are utter trainwrecks of football on both sides (I will always remember 2 years ago the Jets-Bills 9-6 game that refused to die, and the Ravens-Packers game that had the 2nd most penalty yards in the history of football and made Mike Tirico call an INT by saying "That was AWFUL!").

I will always remember 2 years ago the Jets-Bills 9-6 game that refused to die

this game is still happening iirc

was that the game that sanchez threw like 6 INTs?

One of my proudest ILNFL memories is threatening to burn down a Buffalo Wild Wings if it continued.

micahel oher is apparently not very good

okay, ravens, i enjoyed that flacco INT but don't give the store away

5, apparently. And it was 16-13, my bad. The important thing is both teams should have lost.

dude, flacco, throw the ball

one thing i would love would be a cris collinsworth bobblehead that shook its head sideways. i'd love to have it next to my computer during the sunday night games.

i feel like he's just 60% disgusted by whatever he's seeing on the field

I wonder if they could get a Tirico-Collinsworth and Gus Johnson-Jon Gruden simulcast so you could choose whether you want to be super-angry or super-excited on commentary.

SHENANIGANS

ohhhh shit that's the thing this game didn't have! FITE

lol derrick mason

gus johnson-jon gruden would rule

al michaels is acting like the jets o line is a bunch of high schoolers

OH U FUMBLED

derrick mason's triumphant return to baltimore was not really a storyline, was it

no they didn't really do much with that

I like how Michaels was "Awww, and there's movement on the left side" like he's just so disappointed in you, makeshift Jets O-line.

santa claus sanchez, throwing footballs into the crowd

Hahahahaha

half wouldn't be complete w/o a kick out of bounds

I don't know how NBC has maybe the two best comedies on television on Thursday from 8-9 and then their advertisements for that night now apparently consist of Whitney Cummings's face tattooed on Ed Helms's ass.

flacco 8-27 huh

is Bello wearing the hat too much or not enough?

i want to kick bob costas in the nuts

"feats of derring-do"

meanwhile, a 'high-ranking' nfl source says tony sparano is 'certain' to be coaching the dolphins against the jets. which is lucky for him, since that will be the first victory of our impending 127-game winning streak.

"feats of derring-do"

go lay on some train tracks

LOL the slomo bro nod!

OOOH FOXY KNOXY

when costas goes "is there any superstar in the nfl as exhilarating" i was all **kool aid man leap** OH YEAH!! A MEGATRON FEATURE! but no it was just some bullshit about romoface

i blame the producers as much as anything; i don't know how much opium i would need to smoke to determine that what the american people actually want is to hear monologuing at halftime in the year of our lord 2011

my guess was vick or romo xp

this game is destroying cris collinsworth's soul

i wish they'd put a little box showing collinsworth's face in the bottom corner of the screen -- pretty sure it would just be

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpy2nwV1lH1qhz3xro3_250.gif

are you fucking kidding me

FLACCO ARE YOU SHITTING ME

NM :D :D :D

"the more they throw it, the more bad things happen"

YOUR 2011 BALTIMORE RAVENS!!!!

lawl

SANCHIZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love you 4eva sanchez

i'm like a kid going down a slide for the first time, but for like 3 hours

maybe the jets should consider not sanchez

i mean, perish the thought, but

<3 COLLINSWORTH <#

he morphed into a jewish grandmother during this game

so, the whole afc is shit this year, right?

every team besides the saints and the packers is abjectly awful

saints pretty bad too tbh

"i know these defenses are good, but this is insanity"

WHAT ABOUT DETROIT

xp

btw this is the greatest game that has ever been played

yeah detroit is prob the third best team

my nfl power rankings would be

1. packers
2. saints
3. calvin johnson
4-32. everyone else is terrible

o brave new world where that can be true

xp

sanchez sucks. he just sucks and i hate him.

i kind of love him but he's terrible

if the jets can't run the ball, sanchez is unsustainable

omg that pitch play

get out of here with that shit

my opponent in fantasy this week has the ravens defense. They currently have 32 points.

drinks on me tonight, y'all -- i'm in such a good mood

Ive played too much xbox football to know that pitch never works

i'm buying out the bar

i would like to see a sci fi movie where a mad scientist accidentally combines the dna of mark sanchez, tony romo, joe flacco and, oh hell, jimmy claussen

http://i2.listal.com/image/2286639/600full-alien%3A-resurrection-screenshot.jpg

that's the plot of the human centipede II, actually

remember when cris collinsworth called jim flacco peyton manning o_O

When I throw up the ‘X,’ that means it’s time to put the kids to bed. It’s X-rated out there!

i don't think this game exactly fits richard seymour's description, but it has been x-rated in its own way

lol jim

I didn't realize until tonight how romo-y Flacco is.

ricky williams, the ageless wonder

how is it cris collinsworth's business whether young football players drink or smoke? i'm pretty sure he's drunk right now, so

lol @ "i think ray lewis is calling the plays at this point"

i guess cam cameron is coming down from drugs or something because he's finally calling the right plays

RICKY

somehow ricky still has those quick feet

yep, that's ricky williams

jets recover a fumble, seem kind of sad about it.

lol sanchize

dustin keller = shook

http://i54.tinypic.com/2iw0j8p.png

pretty much

HEY AL, SHUT YOUR CLOSET REPUBLICAN ASS UP

lol otm

digs at warren buffet not in your job descrip

11-34!

how can he be so far off on all these throws?

wow can't believe the bengals are 2-2 right now

marion barber just scored a TD and celebrated by doing a backflip onto his face

― congratulations (n/a), Sunday, October 2, 2011 2:57 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

http://gif.mocksession.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/MARION-BARBER-FLIP.gif

ha

something that got lost in last night's game was that, on multiple occasions, cris collinsworth used "DONG!" as an exclamation

i think my early anti-collinsworth stance is being borne out. i keep forgetting to post this where it belongs but it has important resonances here too: i have been using the 49ers on the new madden, and every time i score with vernon davis he says "vernon davis is one of the best cornerbacks in the league".

haha, madden is the worst fucking game

was it last year that they tried to shoehorn gus johnson mania into the game? fuck those guys

yeah, gus is still in there. he has some "moments" but they are so forced and awkward. he keeps calling frank gore "the inconvenient truth" which would be fucking awful if you heard it once, but i get it at least once a drive. in general the commentary is totally fucked up to a level that is well beyond any previous versions.

Donald Jones, Steve Johnson, David Nelson, Fred Jackson, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Scott Chandler

This list must be from a team from 1955 right

I guess Madonna is doing the superbowl halftime show. Get excited everyone.

is she going to bench press both teams

(I did not mean that euphemistically btw)

This list must be from a team from 1955 right

Chan Gailey likes to know everyone's names, so he doesn't draft players with names he can't pronounce.

"C.J. Spiller? He sounds great!"

That's why Posluzny doesn't play in Buffalo anymore.

"We gotta get rid of this marshmallow lynch guy.."

my miami team lived up to chad henne's sky-high expectations from last week: "I know one thing about these guys, they're not going to stop quitting."

He's fucking Yogi Berra.

he is doing no such thing!

The Chargers made Matt Moore look like a Pro Bowler yesterday. Thank got Brandon Marshall can't catch.

The Chargers have three wins. Those wins were against teams that are a combined 1-11.

That one win was the Chiefs, who scraped out a win against one of the teams the Chargers beat.

yes but we are a deeply underrated 0 -- 4 team.

"Thank got" lol

I think the Dolphins are the best of those three teams but who knows.

lol @ the Chiefs beating the Vikings, how can things get any worse for them?

The Vikings got worse in the second half again only this time they sucked in the first half.

2012 scenario: colts get number 1 pick, trade Peyton to Jets?

would never ever ever happen
Colts best chance for the future is to tank hard, pick up Andrew Luck (who is weirdly similar to Manning already), bench him for 3 years like Rodgers, then dump Manning (or hope he retires)

That's what I'm sayin'. If the Colts took out a full-page ad in the Indianapolis paper and told fans that was their plan, I'd be guessing a lot of the fans would go along with it. I mean, they've seen a glimpse of an ugly post-Peyton future already.

if Manning comes back and shows he's healthy in preseason, teams will make offers. I like just doing it now and starting over.

But yeah picking Luck and just letting it simmer for a year or two is fine too.

2012 scenario: colts get number 1 pick, trade Peyton to Jets?

bite your tounge. miami will select andrew luck.

and then luck will refuse to play for us and demand a trade.