''If you're going to go to the face, come with some knuckles, not an open slap,'' NFL 2013-14 WEEK TWO.

Jets @ Patriots
Panthers @ Bills
Browns @ Ravens
Vikings @ Bears
Cowboys @ Chiefs
Redskins @ Packers
Titans @ Texans
Dolphins @ Colts
Chargers @ Eagles
Rams @ Falcons
Lions @ Cardinals
Saints @ Bucs
Broncos @ Giants
Jaguars @ Raiders
49ers @ Seahawks
Steelers @ Bengals

Redskins

1:00 PM (ET)

Packers

Titans

1:00 PM (ET)

Texans

Dolphins

1:00 PM (ET)

Colts

Chargers

1:00 PM (ET)

Eagles

Rams

1:00 PM (ET)

Falcons

Lions

4:05 PM (ET)

Cardinals

Saints

4:05 PM (ET)

Buccaneers

Broncos

4:25 PM (ET)

Giants

Jaguars

4:25 PM (ET)

Raiders

49ers

8:30 PM (ET)

Seahawks

Monday, September 16

Steelers

8:40 PM (ET)

Bengals

gawd I only picked 5 last weekend, lol week one

10-6 week one

Jets @ Patriots - Got to go Pats, that's a sucker's bet taking the Jets off that win. NE would have to do like last week and turn over the ball for the Jets to win.
Panthers @ Bills - Panthers (I suppose)
Browns @ Ravens - Ravens got more firepower on offense, I'll take B-more.
Vikings @ Bears - These are generally good games either way. I'll take the Bears, but of course curious to see how Petersen runs against this year's Chicago D.
Cowboys @ Chiefs - Andy Reid probably has a couple of game plans for the Cowboys. I got to think Dallas getting Monte Kiffin and Rod Marinelli to work that defense could make this a pretty darn tough team to play. Those old guys know how to play tackle football. Dallas and I would curiously watch this game if available, as I haven't seen the Chiefs play in a while, so it is a total new club to me.
Washington @ Packers - Packers at home but this could be a good game.
Titans @ Texans - I still don't quite know what to make of that Titan/Steeler game last week. Probably not going to know how to read those 2 clubs for a couple more games. Loook at the playoff moxie the Texans showed pulling a big deficit comeback on the road. Probably hasn't happened too many times for Houston or Matt Schaub. Texans are kind of a mini-Atlanta in the AFC where they have had success, but still haven't won it as much when it counts. Hopefully Houston didn't print up any team suits for this week.
Dolphins @ Colts - Haven't seen either game, so I don't know if I should be impressed by the Dolphins kind of pounding Cleveland a bit or worried that the Colts got run on a ton by Oaktown and really kind of scraped out a win. Either way it's an old school AFC East rivalry game. I'm kind of feeling the Dolphins in an upset right now. Prove me wrong Indy.

Chargers @ Eagles - It seems the Eagles moved the ball a bunch. I got wonder about this Oregon fast break football working in the NFL. Oregon most games would really be much better athletes than their competition, that isn't going to happen in the NFL. Secondly, how is this going to work if some injuries pile up? Are the backups going to be able to get the job done? Also, if you run the plays that fast and it's a 3 and out, I could see it having a similar draw back to the old run and shoot where your defense gets tired because they keep going back on the field. I could see a possession game team being able to just keep Philly off the field if they can stop them quick. Eagles at home.

Rams @ Falcons- Falcons
Lions @ Cardinals- Cards at home, but possible good game.
Saints @ Bucs- Saints, but curious how it turns out.
Broncos @ Giants- Broncos and I don't think it will be close. NYG 0-2!
Jaguars @ Raiders- Raiders?
49ers @ Seahawks- Man, this is a matchup. 49ers looked just punishing on both sides of the ball. I hate the old 80s-90s Niners, but I love the makeup of this club and Harbaugh's coaching style. It's high tech smashmouth football.
Steelers @ Bengals- Bengals only win divisions when they can beat the Steelers. That's it...end of story. Cincy.

pats
bills
baltimore
bears
dallas
gb
txans
phins
sd
atl
det
tampa
denver
oakland
seattle
pitt

Lock of the week is Cincy over Pitt.

Looking like I'm attending rams v falcons.

that should be a good game, probably close enough to stay interesting without the real danger of atlanta actually losing.

more than usually terrified of the jets game, even tho i am quite sure they are still very bad, notwithstanding their week 1 win.

Jets @ Patriots
Panthers @ Bills
Browns @ Ravens - interested in this game, i think browns defense might be good and this will be a solid test of that
Vikings @ Bears
Cowboys @ Chiefs - hopefully kcc will shut down any fears from week 1 that dallas might be good this year
Redskins @ Packers - suspect redskins will either score 3 or 40, and that will tell us a ton about one or both teams
Titans @ Texans
Dolphins @ Colts
Chargers @ Eagles
Rams @ Falcons
Lions @ Cardinals - lions on the road, to the tune of riders on the storm
Saints @ Bucs - bounceback game for tampa
Broncos @ Giants
Jaguars @ Raiders
49ers @ Seahawks
Steelers @ Bengals

Jets played Tampa Bay and would've lost if not for a stupid penalty, so I feel comfortable saying the Pats have this.

yeah i didn't see much of the game but by all accounts no part of the tampa team turned up and they still should've won

i'm starting to buy in to the theory that tampa actually sucks

i think they have way too many legit good players to suck BUT i am not at all sure they have a qb

Josh Freeman is disappointing. Kind of like Sanchez, it seems like he knows less about the position now than he did when he was a rookie.

http://dy.snimg.com/story-image/3/86/4488179/151867-330-0.jpg

time to wheel out the freak

That guy needs a Steve Grogan-esque neck roll.

needs to be playing dueling banjos in a tree

stay in the pocketses, smeagol

http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2013/0911/eagles_crazy_g_mp_576.jpg

!!!

http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/74191/the-power-of-the-chip-kelly-offense

i thought i was already OD'd on chip kelly talk before the season started but tbf this is fascinating stuff

that is a cool piece!!

That's one of the all time great offensive formations right there.The first half of that game the other night was amazing, one of the more exciting things ive seen in a lifetime of watching football.

im def more jazzed to watch the eagles than any other team rt now; would like to see them vs san fran or seattle

will be most interesting after teams have 3 games of tape on them, and they go a three stretch on the road, denver, nyg and tampa. can they keep up with denver, can a smart defense like nyg figure them out.

wait what
http://sports.yahoo.com/photos/nfl-quarterbacks-with-one-eyebrow-slideshow/

HA! That's nuts.

You can add that Eyebrow art exhibit in with the freaky Phillip Rivers picture in the NFL Outsider art exhibit in about 20 years.

i enjoyed reading this:
http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/74191/the-power-of-the-chip-kelly-offense

sorry, didn't realize already posted. anyway.

lol these guys are fucked http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9664746/greg-schiano-tampa-bay-buccaneers-rig-vote-josh-freeman

another vote of confidence

this 'you ain't never had a party until you had a party in my city' opening song is probably the worst song ever

what is the chip kelly team going to do when the chip kelly offense has a few super quick three-and-outs and the chip kelly defense is exhausted and it's still q3

from what i understand chip kelly letting bill davis take the lead on d so i'm not sure it's appropriate to say "chip kelly defense"

i know, i'm just asking really what happens when they can't use up the clock and they need to.. i watched the pats run their fast offense a lot last season and when they couldn't get anything going, they really couldn't get anything going and the defense would end up exhausted

oh hai aaron dobson! welcome to new england!

if the eagles play at the level of the patriots i will have no complaints

double cover edelman and then brady has no one to throw to
not good

NYJ just sent *no one* back to catch a punt

what is the chip kelly team going to do when the chip kelly offense has a few super quick three-and-outs and the chip kelly defense is exhausted and it's still q3

― seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Thursday, September 12, 2013 8:29 PM (1 hour ago)

if what you're saying is they might not win every game, then i agree with you

man, aaron dobson

NYJ just sent *no one* back to catch a punt

― seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Thursday, September 12, 2013 9:31 PM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This happens all the time when the team is going for a block

this one was just a screwup, rex ryan was yelling his head off on the sidelines

these teams do not seem to be very good

Is Tom Brady the whiniest of the great quarterbacks?

no, not even close. Marino.

pats look like complete dogshit

as everyone knows i never ever ever ever ever ever everrrrrrrrrrr ever ever ever ever root for the jets

but i must admit that after watching brady's neck bulging out as he screams at a hapless rookie WR who had a pass hit the back of his foot, i would find it rather hilarious if the jets won

I'm pretty sure Dobson looks worse than Darrius Heyward-Bey has ever looked

so much bad football tonight

I'm trying to follow the play-by-play on my iPod. As far as I can tell they are basically just punting the ball back and forth to each other?

These Thursday Night Football games are always the worst.

next thursday nite is reid v. philly

The Pats offense will probably still be awesome when amendola and gronk are both out there (someday?)

NEVER THROW TO CLYDE GATES

EVERRRRRRR

i had to stop watching this game it is so bad

if i missed a brady yelling montage im gonna be kinda pissed tho

Is Tom Brady the whiniest of the great quarterbacks?

― polyphonic, Thursday, September 12, 2013 10:17 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah idk if hes even that whiney, more enraged

will be most interesting after teams have 3 games of tape on them, and they go a three stretch on the road, denver, nyg and tampa. can they keep up with denver, can a smart defense like nyg figure them out.

― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, September 11, 2013 3:07 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah everyone knows this is not going to last right

brady is gonna commit assault at some point this season... but against who?

- kenbrell thompson
- aaron dobson
- shane vereen
- write in candidate

NE offense has produced pretty meh results in their first two games. Jets defense is pretty decent. NE doesn't have a whole lot of run game.

Whatever becomes of this fast break football style that Kelly runs and the success it has, there are going to be people probably ripping off plays from him left and right probably even some this week. Run and shoot definitely put a ton of different plays into regular football use. Heck it and the Cincy no-huddle from the 80s put the shotgun into common usage.

def a lot of teams will be using those plays IN COLLEGE haha sick

WHAT A FUCKSHOW

Did Smith have more complete passes to Patriots than Brady?

good job good effort

did belichick just continue yelling until the two jets who were ejected actually got up, ran across the field and went back to the locker room
with one snap left in the game

I'm with Bill on that. If you get bounced from a game, you have to get off the field. It doesn't matter that there was only one kneel-down play left.

i hate thursday nite games in every way, but if you're going to have them, at least give them to a network with some experience covering live sports. jesus nfl network. as sloppy as the game was, i'd rate the broadcast as sloppier. shitty play by play, shitty color, shitty editing, shitty postgame show. one of a million examples: they spend about 20 minutes of postgame coverage ripping into julian edelman for blowing that one endzone route (and i'm still not entirely sure it was edelman who blew that one), and then they cut to a 5- or 6-question Interview with him in which they don't bother asking him about it. grrrr. they missed camera angles repeatedly. and they could maybe, like, show the postgame press confs instead of showing game highlights for the 30th time. grrr grrr. i really wanted to see belichick's face at the podium after that game!

shitty play by play

I'd agree with most of complaints, but I love Nessler and Mayock both.

they were really bad though, getting names wrong, missing penalties etc.

yeah it just seemed like both of them were regularly disconnecting, kind of like brady and his receivers. hopefully they get better as the season continues.

they spent half the game talking abt how impressed they were with smith, he finishes w a 27 qb rating

yup those dudes were bad, and as much as i enjoy mayock for the occasional interesting nugget he busts out, he gets some shit straight wrong and often. he is definitely working on the theory that pulling something out of his ass with confidence is better than not saying anything at all, which i guess makes him a sports broadcaster, omg i went there

anyway, never has a win felt so much like a loss

what are things only a pats fan would say for $200

lol. i don't think seeing your crappy team barely deserve to scrape past a super crappy team is the preserve of pats fans

they were really bad though, getting names wrong, missing penalties etc.

― Matt Armstrong, Friday, September 13, 2013 2:29 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Mayock blew the first penalty of the game when he thought it was a roughing call by Pace on Brady. This, despite the fact that the flag was thrown 20 yards down the field in the defensive backfield. Ultimately it turned out to be pass interference.

I hate Mayock and his shitty little voice. such bullshit that he does Irish games

so...just a reminder if those sunday games:

Panthers @ Bills
Browns @ Ravens
Vikings @ Bears
Cowboys @ Chiefs
http://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPG @ Packers
Titans @ Texans
Dolphins @ Colts
Chargers @ Eagles
Rams @ Falcons
Lions @ Cardinals
Saints @ Bucs
Broncos @ Giants
Jaguars @ Raiders
49ers @ Seahawks

http://cdn04.cdnwp.thefrisky.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/09/uhura-hell-yes.gif

CIRCLE THE WAGONS http://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPG INVADE LAMBEAU FIELD http://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPG ON THE MARCH BEWARE WISCONSONSITES STOP

i've prob seen fifteen jets/pats games, this was the worst

what are our preferred stream sites? are there any that are really good quality, ie don't lag/don't get taken down every 20 mins?

let's go washington department of football

did meriweather just showboat after hitting that guy
*after* the guy picked up 10 yards and a first down

when did the Bears uniforms become super turbo fugly

what! why would they mess up the best uniforms in the league? they're wearing those orange jerseys aren't they

They're wearing the navy with orange letters jerseys and the contrast is way way WAY too strong

http://deadsp.in/cn4HOnO

Every once in a while a headhunter knocks himself out like Meriweather did right there. He launched himself at that Green Bay back and that guy put his head and shoulder down and knocked Meriweather out.

http://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPG dfense huh

lol @ "the troubles continue for christian ponder"

On an ILNFL barely related thread, have you noticed that potato chip flavors have gotten pretty esoteric? I swear I just went to get some gas, mail a couple of things so I could get back and watch some football and saw a "chicken and waffle" flavored potato chips. That's pretty damn weird if you ask me.

thats why capitalism is the best system

they taste like maple syrup and chicken broth fyi

philly secondary looks awful

Sriracha potato chips I get because there are some people that hot food of anything is like crack cocaine and the sriracha sauce is like the speedball of the hot sauce world.

it is good to be michael vick in 2013

romo bailed out on terrible int by phantom offensive holding call smh

defensive obv

vick has the terminator scope on

twist!

holding my breath

amazing drive to win against the clock by chicago

sigh, rivers has carved us up all afternoon

what tf is happening in eaglels game

rip eagles

loooooooooooooooo......l

Benny hill theme

some amazing finishes here

they ran that exact play in "little giants"

only it worked iirc

bills!!!

texans should've been dead and buried after horrible int thrown by schaub in their own 20, but have somehow tied it up

the cowboys are such a rewarding franchise

is it true that ej manuel started crying on the field

lol how do u let their best receiver have a 10 yd cushion in end zone

bills and fins looking curiously like actual football teams.

don't understand why the colts, on the miami 23 and with time, went for the endzone every down.

alex smith looking more than respectable 2 games in. kansas city 2-0 and looking a little useful

bills!!!

― jbn, Sunday, September 15, 2013 4:17 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

fuck icing the kicker, but that was brutal on a guy who has already missed a couple

dolphins coming for that afc east crown

lol shit going wild with this kick in houston. 3 attempts and counting

so dumb...

seems like there are 1-2 weeks every season when dolphins look like they might put something together

yay broncos fumble near the end zone

rodgers had a really good game today

ESPN Stats & Info ‏@ESPNStatsInfo 4m
Aaron Rodgers: first player with 480 yards passing, at least 4 TD, 0 Int in game since Y.A. Tittle, 1962 Giants

ball no ball

rodgers had over 330 just in 1st half

why were the texans throwing the ball from the 2 yard line on third down in overtime

they got pushed back pretty hard on the 1st down run

why would they not just kick the field goal immediately

that would give titans the ball instead of walk off

guess that chip kelly offense caused the eagles secondary to suck today huh

that would give titans the ball instead of walk off

― Roberto Spiralli, Sunday, September 15, 2013 4:51 PM (15 seconds ago) Bookmark

ah i didn't realize it was the first possession

hahaha i can't believe brandon jacobs is back, what a world

tom coughlin's face is the color of the underside of a ballsack

rivers looks rejuvenated by the changeover at san diego but when the player who is burning you is eddie royal then you do have to wonder about the secondary. i didn't see enough of the game, but that looked like it would be the problem in preseason

brandon jacobs is almost unfathomably slow

the unasked question "where is kevin ogletree?" is finally answered

elol lmaonning

nantz calling the manning bowl on a crisp fall sunday is some dad boner holiday shit

mr. mark ingram, 1st round pick

terrifying holliday

eli has been plain bad today but lol at the giants all round. first 0-2 start since 1996

may it only get worse from here

amen

arizona is better than i thought, detroit played ok. gatorade shower is ott tho, cmon now.

'grats to the cards. nice tackle by mathieu to finish it.

AFC West 6-2, a couple plays away from 8-0

the color commentator on the chiefs game referred to Dontari Poe as "Dontario" literally every time he said it.

ha i noticed that!

while still fairly terrible, i am disappointed that freeman hasn't played quite disastrously enough for the pats to open the seasons vs 3 rookie qbs in succession

Poe has been absolutely dominant so far this season btw

man Demarco Murray averaged 2 ypc

lmao eli

tuff day for eli

maybe just dont throw into the end zone ever

maybe just don't throw ever

uh oh what happened to eli? i switched over to sunday night football

one million interceptions

i hope he made eli face after each and every one <3

is the NO/TB game on any channel?

Lynch is cheering for the Bucs at this point.

feed2all has it

yay the raiders won

fyi it was so much more facepalm in person than could ever be translated to any highlight package. Jags were so hilariously terrible but I was still convinced they were going to catch up for most of the game because wow our offense was not good. Can someone plz remind Denarius Moore that he used to be able to catch JESUS WTF

Saints did not deserve that win at all but Bucs deserved it even less.

so many guys use list their high schools now in the intros, didnt have a positive college experince

itd be cool if everyone just said randy university

Seattle defense so boss

beast mode yeah

this is a fun game

that was a weird thing w the blocked kick

doug martin is the real deal and it looks like the bucs defense is as well. it's really just that one little problem they have.

It's Freeman and Schiano. I don't think I've ever seen a defense play as dirty as the Bucs did that first half, and I lived through Greg Williams' Saints.

wtf weather why do you hate football

Al michaels weatherman amuses me though

Pierre Thomas had more yds/carry than Doug Martin tonight. I am totally stumped as to why Mark Ingram is allowed off the bench.

Detroit have been pretty amateurish thus far. 100 yards in penalties today. Few field goal attempts fluffed. Cost them the game.

i love the idea of schiano getting his dream nfl job but then losing it after two seasons because he's a legendary insufferable asshole. would be amazing.

seahawks/niners is best game in the nfl cuz it's the only one that approximates college atmosphere #factsonly

whoever was broadcasting the saints game today introduced a new technological wrinkle and i am still trying to figure out how they did it. whenever the ball was handed off to ingram, a blue line would be marked on the field and he would get tackled right at or just before that blue line.

dinosaur jr in the bolden montage

i was trying to work out if there was some hilarious wordplay like when they played blind melon after the weather delay

his dad is a dinosaur maybe

i didn't know that coleman was deaf, that's kinda cool the way they work that in the playcalling

loving this tbh

its crazy how much different Seattle is at home, this may be the year they blow through the playoffs with HFA

still SF is playing stupid and getting flagged for a lot of unnecessary shit

hahah richard sherman, beautiful

vernon davis tried too hard to catch that pass, thankfully he didn't hurt himself

loooool

http://d3j5vwomefv46c.cloudfront.net/photos/large/809074244.gif

richard sherman is a gem

nothing was funnier than when he got roasted by the falcons in the playoffs tho

thank u lagoon, i will lol @ that gif forever

love his expression after the sheet comes down

if eyes could murder...

vernon davis tried too hard to catch that pass, thankfully he didn't hurt himself

― J0rdan S., Sunday, September 15, 2013 8:59 PM (24 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

That's what happens when you hurt your hamstring

the only downside to this is having to see pete carroll so happy

BuzzFeed Sports ‏@BuzzFeedSports 2m
The 49ers have 207 yards of total offense and 121 yards in penalties.

What a disappointing and gross game.

no bueno

this game has been awesome/hilarious in its own way

http://i44.tinypic.com/2myu8nr.jpg

wtf @ that dude

So the Jaguars are going to literally be murdered on the field next weekend, right? Like, blood all over the place and only a half-full plane back to Jacksonville.

yep

I dunno, the Panthers had a close game with them last week.

Amused by beastmode walk in td

The Panthers are not the Jaguars, and also the Panthers didn't have to play them in Seattle.

I didn't realize until reading about it today how the Jags had gutted their defense this offseason. They are not good.

they are good to bet against in a survival league

I give Jim Harbaugh about two more years before a Dick Vermieil-style flameout. He cant keep this up.

Did he sneeze into his playsheet up there?

divisional powerhouses afc east and afc west have the best records in football after 2 weeks at 6-2. afc east is undefeated outside the division.

Following two pitiful losses to start the 2013 regular season, most Jacksonville Jaguars fans are already looking forward to having the No. 1 overall pick in next spring's 2014 NFL draft.

But one group of Jags supporters isn't ready to give up on 2013—or free-agent quarterback and North Florida product Tim Tebow.

According to a report by Sports Illustrated's John Otano, a collection of Jaguars fans will gather at the parking lot outside EverBank Field on Monday afternoon in an effort to convince the front office to sign Tebow.

Details about the rally come from Jags-Tebow.com, according to the SI report. The website's mission reads as follows: "Make it clear, we the fans, want the Jacksonville Jaguars to bring in Tim Tebow. You know you want to see this happen."

The rally is scheduled to start at 3:16 p.m. ET and last three hours and 16 minutes, playing off the Bible verse John 3:16, which Tebow famously wore on his eyeblack during Florida's win over Oklahoma in the 2009 BCS National Championship Game in Miami.

You know you want to see this happen.

This is some Bill Sommons shit but that's really the long and short of it right now

articles that shd be in the onion

they couldn't be worse with him

Henne had 65.8% and zero interceptions yesterday so actually they could be worse.

sorry: i meant to say they couldn't be worse to watch

What is kind of cool in the current Niner/Seahawk rivalry is that you really have two coaches that generally don't like each other and were rivals before they got to the NFL. Other than ex-asstant/head coach rivals, it's been a while since you had coaches that have beef like Harbaugh and Carroll.

grade A, prime beef

man wtf Dalton

Bengals defense looks awesome, Dalton looks like a fringe starter

jesus christ what a horrible call

I could have lived an entire full, wonderful life without ever hearing the phrase "Gruden Grinder"

gio bernard is speedy

I am loving Randy Moss, analyst: http://msn.foxsports.com/watch/fox-football-daily/video/importance-of-qb-wr-relationships-091613

http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/article/media_slots/photos/001/063/942/MegaTronTD_original.gif

incredible

catch, turn, Usain Bolt

<3 megatron

pretty fast

Kenny BrittVerified account
‏@KennyBritt_18
Looks like the Titans pullin that Jared Cook card .. Looking like this the last year ill be sayin #TitanUp .. So lets make it a Great year

not doing himself any favors there

When has Kenny Britt not been a dumbass?

he has definitely had his moments as a player but his off field shenanigans will narrow the market for him i am sure. i expect to see him try out in camp for the pats in 3yrs' time on veteran minimum.

https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/1238261_10151772984404504_1803867625_n.jpg

that's not really how knock knock jokes work

It fits the format, and it is awesome.

^^^

beard strongly implies that the joke actually took two full weeks to play out

and so it has