NFL Week 14- 2013 - "it should be a league rule saying that a defender can not tackle a player by his penis,"

Texans @ Jaguars (Thurs) - This is the kind of match up that we can be thankful for Thursday Football.
Bills @ Bucs
Vikings @ Ravens
Browns @ Pats
Colts @ Bengals
Lions @ Eagles
Falcons @ Packers
Chiefs @ Washington Hatcats (All they need to do in invite Bobby Bowden, Chipper Jones and that guy with the drum in Cleveland and they can have a summit discussing mascot issues.)
Dolphins @ Steelers
Raiders @ Jets
Titans @ Broncos
Giants @ Chargers
Seahawks @ Niners
Rams @ Cards
Panthers @ Saints
Cowboys @ Bears (Mon)

Jags are a lock this week right

I picked 'em.

So, not a lock.

Watch out.

All they need to do in invite Bobby Bowden

tbf to Florida State, the university has a longstanding partnership with the Seminole nation that's mutually beneficial.

Jags are actually playing pretty decent the past 3 or 4 weeks, they have been competitive in some of their losses. I don't think the owner wants to fire Kubiak, but if they lose out, I don't see him hanging around. I'd bet JVille's stadium will be half empty.

Yeah, I know about the Seminoles and FSU having that licensing deal, so Bowden is there to tell them how to get it right I guess. :)

I'm waiting for the NFL version of this though...

http://www.realclearsports.com/blog/stanford-tree.jpg

Wasn't one of the UFL teams named after a tree? Like the Redwoods or something?

off to google...Yep. I was right. Nocal team was named the Redwoods.

http://espn.go.com/blog/afceast/post/_/id/67692/grimes-on-steelers-wr-antonio-brown

this url was misleading to say the least

Texans @ Jaguars is just about the least compelling contest i can imagine right now in professional sports but it is going to determine who gets the first pick probably. hopefully on every possession both teams' qbs will take the first snap and run out the back of their own endzone. the game will be lost/'won' by whichever team has a pass rusher who can catch the qb before he gives them 2 points.

least compelling contest i can imagine right now in professional sports

cough *knicks/nets tonight*

tho obv for trainwreck purposes, its prob more watchable

Sometimes the first pick in the draft is something teams dont want. its like a weight around your neck. I guarantee the Jags show up tonight, theyve been pretty game the last few weeks.

no i agree, i was just foolin. it is admirable that there are teams that could/should be tanking but are playing some of their best football instead.

e.g. jags, bucs, and tbh the falx. i mean, even the texans could've not bothered shoeing up vs NE and no one would've said anything except they were outclassed by a better team, but they gave the home crowd a game

showing up, altho i could maybe try to pass off 'shoeing up' as a thing

agree. for some reason im looking forward to watching this game tonight

Michael Bennett ftw

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/10084412/michael-bennett-seattle-seahawks-pretends-russell-wilson-get-table

lol

somehow wound up reading some total guff article on a kicker conspiracy (k balls being doctored to make kicks go further) but it did turn up one nice bit of info:

In 2013, kickers make a higher percentage of 50+ yard field goals than kickers in 1960 made on all kicks of less than 30 yards (65.1% vs. 61.5%).

and specialist kickers started being included on rosters in the 50s, so my takeaway from this is, the first generation of kickers was reeeeeeally bad.

I'd have to do a count, but I would think a good portion of the NFL also plays indoors and when it is outside it is often on field turf. Every stadium used to have crappy field like Oakland, CHicago and Pittsburgh.

Last week 11-5, 155-66 for season

Texans @ Jaguars- probably a decent matchup. Jags are playing better, so I will take Jville.
Bills @ Bucs- I don't really trust the Bills on the road, but I think they might be a bit better than Tampa.
Vikings @ Ravens- Ravens need the win to have any shot, so give me b-more.
Browns @ Pats- Pats
Colts @ Bengals- Good matchup and a total pick em, but give me the Colts.
Lions @ Eagles- Eagles and another good matchup.
Falcons @ Packers- Packers I guess.
Chiefs @ Washington Hatcats- Chiefs but I bet Washington will make it tough.
Dolphins @ Steelers- Steelers, but I think Miami might be a better club this year.
Raiders @ Jets= Raiders
Titans @ Broncos- Bronocs
Giants @ Chargers- Giants
Seahawks @ Niners- Niners
Rams @ Cards- Cards
Panthers @ Saints - Saints
Cowboys @ Bears (Mon)- Give me the Bears, but Cowboys will probably win.

mike glennon is playing pretty well and tampa somehow look like a team. i think the bills defense is good enough that that game won't be a blowout, but it won't be a contest either. it seems incredible but after 0-8 start, tampa is going at worst split its last 8 and look good enough in the process that greg schiano might keep his job. and the state they were in week 2/3...that is insane.

How often does a team start 0-8 and then wind up .500? It can't be all that often.

Liking the jags tonight

8 minutes for Bridgewater

exciting finish tnite!

posluzny almost knocked that ball out

damn Matt Schaub

+ the winner of the #1 draft pick is

wow those jaguars cheerleader outfits really go for it don't they

Bridgewater and Luck in the same division could be really cool

tbh i didn't even realize until tnite that shaub was still qb for texans. i thought he was benched awhile ago

they put him back in in the 3rd cuz Keenum stunk

do u think they even pretend during camp that they're competing for the starting job? or even not start their rookie immediately at all (seems unlikely to me)???

kubes got fired

I honestly don't think the state of the Texans this year was Kubes' fault. Also, pretty low to can a guy one month after he had a stroke-like episode on the field.

i totally think this year is his fault. they have talent on that roster. i'd guess it's a little bit of an andy reid situation where club and coach just need a refresh.

i think putting schaub in the game last night kinda sealed the deal on what he's been doing for a while now, which is grasping at straws

feel like this dude is a second rate shanny, but that's based less on seeing his product and more on the fact he's from that tree and took lots of personnel from him.

i think he runs basically the same stuff that they used to run in denver--zone blocking, play action passing. it's pure vanilla.

Houston's downfall really comes down to the fact they are -18 in turnovers for the year. Defense is taking the ball away and they have thrown a shite load of interceptions. They got 8 losses by 7 points or less. They don't turn the ball over or conversely they get some interceptions on D they are probably around .500.

I'd think this could be a choice job, as they are going to have a good first round pick unless they traded it off and there is good talent on both sides of the field.

They obviously need to get better at QB.

jack del rio has to end up somewhere, right?

i would lol if they went from kubiak to del rio, talk about two guys who are decent at checkers but a little confused by chess

Story for both of them is that their clubs couldn't get over Indy (& Peyty) in the AFC South too.

I think they will both be head coaches again. I think both pretty much know what they are doing, but the players and clubs just didn't quite come together.

Del Rio put together a pretty nasty defense that was very competitive his whole time in Jville. They were competitive when Garrard had his couple good seasons. Kubiak had a pretty good offense with a total crap defense for the early part of his run.

At this point in the NFL, unless you have a top gun QB, you suck. You might be able to scheme your way with an OK QB to the playoffs for a year or so, especially if you got a good D, but extended playoff trips is about the 'great' QB.

once freed of peyton manning, the houston texans won the division twice, and promptly lost in the playoffs to teams with actual good coaches.

i always thought kubiak shouldve been fired years ago

he had some really talented teams and made them....ok.

apparently ppl think this job is attractive as hell - talent on the roster, #1 pick, owner who is loyal & patient & will be hands off

yeah that makes sense to me

sounds like he's in a good position to get cowher

or, sadly, maybe chucky

They were one of the teams Cowher was interested in a few years ago, but he opted to stay out and who is desperate enough to hire Cowher now?

Although, I guess Gruden still garners interest, so anything's possible. My money is on Lovie Smith, though.

apparently ppl think this job is attractive as hell - talent on the roster, #1 pick, owner who is loyal & patient & will be hands off

― johnny crunch, Saturday, December 7, 2013 2:56 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

their cap situation isn't great but JJ Watt+ #1 pick is pretty good

Their defense really wasn't that bad, the pick 6s and horrible special teams play really put a ton of pressure on it imo.

has anyone actually figured out what happened to matt schaub?

Dude got the yips and can't shake them.

http://i.imgur.com/kS6MBDo.png

set to murder someone

Why the hell is Kansas getting the NYC/SD game?

And Miami?

whats wrong with kansas

Miami/Boca = where NY'ers go to die.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgF7uWZMSdE

"It looked like his upper lip was caked in a mixture of dog crap and liquid cocaine."

lol kudos to peyton for playing it straight

lol that was great

http://www.vintagecardprices.com/pics/2120/89483.jpg

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/10101919/mike-shanahan-was-ready-quit-washington-http://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPG-2012-season

this story is wild

wow much snow philly

all over the place! this is crazy.

wild

this is like just watching the weather channel

http://cdn3.mocksession.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/2013-December-8-13-20-24.jpg

i've got on ravens/vikings because there is more snow an hour north of here so it's more fun to watch.. also the washington dept of football is already down 10

did pats rookie receivers completely disappear btw, i don't think brady's even looking at them

i shouldn't have suggested brady throw it in their direction, that didn't work out too well

Browns hanging tough.

http://www.clevescene.com/images/blogimages/2009/11/18/1258562612-picture_267.png

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ba_MvShCQAAAFYO.jpg

lol

oh no gronk :(

rip

it was a good run while it lasted

wow
pats are always terrible vs cleveland

luck was 10/20 79y 0 TDs at the half, now 12/24 184y 2 TDs

waiting for that blown two-point conversion to kill the browns

Snow football #1

wtf eagles!

phil/det getting over the 53.5 # is srsly wild

this has been the best 1:00 slate of the year hands down

wau vikings

baltimore!

this game

seriously, this game

cordarell!

no one playing defense anymore

did pats lose yet

good job vikes

five tds in 1:58?

This is ugly

Gostkowski is pretty good

was it really ever in doubt the browns would lose this game

oh wow cundiff

I can't believe the Pats won that

ludicrous

if the browns had faked that field goal they would've won. the pats had not a single player covering the 50 yards to the end zone.

holy shit the patriots pulled that one out of their asses my lord

I missed that Pats comeback to go catch the metro and was momentarily confused by the orange line train being absolutely packed and everyone on it looking glum as hell

Realized this train came from Landover/FedEx Field

two tds in 2:35

i had no doubt the Pats would win that one

actually in ~2:00 they left too much time and the browns almost won it as time expired except their kicker couldnt kick it far enough which is ironic considering hes the kicker like does he have something better to do idk

i had doubt the pats would win it that was like a 1 in 300 type comeback

or maybe one in a million not sure

hard to talk about odds when the rules for p.i. are completely arbitrary

When you are New England and have CBS and the refs sucking your collective dick it's amazing how the dice will roll in your favor

Hope Bernie pollard fucking kills Eric decker at some point this afternoon.

hard to talk about odds when the rules for p.i. are completely arbitrary

― call all destroyer, Sunday, December 8, 2013 5:34 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that was v much pass interference tho he impeded the shit out of him on like the five yrd line then they kept showing the replay of the borderline contact in the end zone

Bullshit. You're talking bullshit at this point

ho ok bill magill

youre not as i understand it as a defender allowed to put yr arm totally in front of a receiver and slow him down when the ball is in the air, thats pass interference

Well maybe you're not bullshitting and you simply dont know what the fuck you're talking about. That's probably the case. You don't know enough to be bullshitting

excellent point very well thought out you definitely seem like someone who is good at spotting bullshiting and can point it out good to others too thank you

You're welcome.

i know this is late but i only just got off the sn0wy roads and holy shit that philly game - i listened to the entire thing on the radio (well, i watched about 10 minutes at a bar but the rest was on the radio)

Wait till u see highlights of ravens Vikings.

during those 10 minutes in the bar i saw them carting AP off the field :(

Most unreal game in nfl history.

I love snow games, but I have to think the Detroit/Philly game would have been way better without the severe weather. Was pretty sloppy and boring imo.

I thought that game, steelers dolphins, and ravens vikes were awesome. Thank god for red zone. What a great football day

i counted 1 kick for points the entire philly/detroit game (a blocked extra point attempt from akers??) - everything else was 2-pt conversions

Chargers are just boat racing the giants

Mordy-for some reason the snow in that game seemed by far the worst of all the snow games today.

At Pitt, at Balt, at Philly and at GB all seemed to have significant snow. Wash might have but they showed nothing from that game on red zone. Philly seemed by far the worst

our road trip was cut short by the snow - they shut down I76 bc of a multiple fatality 50-car collision!!

fuck

Philly and Baltimore were the snowiest games. Green Bay, Washington and Pittsburgh all had snow on the field, but little in the way of snowfall.

Not a penalty against pollard. Clean hit

What was the penalty. Clean ass hit

ass hits are almost never clean

poopy ass hit poop everywhere

When i hit your mother in the ass it was relatively clean. I could tell there had been previous visitors but all in all it was not too bad

you are quite the scamp arent you, so witty

Coming from a man that used the word "poop" twice in one post I will take that as a compliment.

re: pats by rule i agree there *may* have been pi outside the endzone but ref threw the flag in the endzone based on perceived contact in the endzone and i think he was wrong to do so, thats a no-call 9 times out of 10.

whatev tho pats got jobbed at the end of two games this year so it evens out.

Tyrann Mathieu presumed to have torn ACL, I hate this sport

i saw him collapse as he walked off. it was clearly something bad. i don't know whether he has necessarily deserved it anyway, but if that is the reason he doesn't get DROY that would suck.

Alonso from buffalo is the leader in the clubhouse on that one. I feel bad for mathieu that sux.

holy fuck, just looking at the stat lines in the tampa vs bills game. tampa scored 27 points on offense while their qb completed 9 of 25 attempts for a mighty 3.6 avg. incredible.

i don't think redzone cut to that game once in the second half

re: pats by rule i agree there *may* have been pi outside the endzone but ref threw the flag in the endzone based on perceived contact in the endzone and i think he was wrong to do so, thats a no-call 9 times out of 10.

― call all destroyer, Sunday, December 8, 2013 6:56 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you reading the refs mind here, how do you know which contact he was throwing the flag on

because of how the penalty was enforced. they would've moved them to the spot of the PI if it was outside the endzone.

i just watched the replay of the fins/steelers ending with all the laterals.. i can't believe that actually worked. i've never seen that

yeaah but they couldve just been calling all of the contact not sure exactly how that works but there contact then more contact and its all sort of continuous

lol it was a bad call dood cmon

no it wasnt! there was a shit ton of contact and he was clearly impeded, that throw wouldve been perfectly on the money instead of on the fingertips if not, which i believe is the thing that rule was designed to rectify

they were both handsy but it wasn't the worst PI call i ever saw, i am surprised ppl are making so much of it.

mike pereira is angry about it somewhere on the internet

feel like one of the reasons is cause the replays didnt show all the contact

i just watched the replay of the fins/steelers ending with all the laterals.. i can't believe that actually worked. i've never seen that

― seriously, THIS GUY (daria-g), Sunday, December 8, 2013 8:55 PM (18 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i will maintain until i die that was an uncalled illegal forward pass on this play

they were both handsy but it wasn't the worst PI call i ever saw, i am surprised ppl are making so much of it.

― Roberto Spiralli, Sunday, December 8, 2013 9:03 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

well it handed the game to the pats. i didn't see anybody making that much of it but that's lol browns as much as anything.

i'd agree it was not the worst call ever but as a diehard pats fan i wouldn't have blinked at a no-call on that play.

imho you shd be able to throw as many forward passes as you want from wherever you want who cares

refs agreed on that play

my impression was that both refs and miami dolphins were looking around like okay w/e, this play never works

haha yes

it's cool watching highlights from the 50s when a lateral was nbd, just something you throw in on a running play if you feel like it

feel like one of the reasons is cause the replays didnt show all the contact

― lag∞n, Sunday, December 8, 2013 9:06 PM (34 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Seriously. Just shut the fuck up

oh bill you are such a mess

i am willing to fund a kickstarter where the two of you meet in atlanta and fight

i have to go all the way to atlanta while bill sits around yelling at people on the nets huh thanks but no thanks besides he hasnt even fought ade yet ill get winner meet them in dc

it's a christmas miracle

you fuckers better put this one on ppv

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uxn3RoqTOQ

i request toumas film it on his phone while yelling WORLDSTAR in finnish

you could always change it up & mudwrestle

what this is so fd up

http://i.imgur.com/lWYCZH4.png

mailman tahiti

http://i.imgur.com/DaNmyXH.png

doesnt like the caps man wow caps es no bueno

the finns are a laid-lack people

it's all about the spacing, man.

That crazy relay play reminded me of this, the most NewOrleansSaints sequence in team history before Brees/Payton changed everything:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTGco82JKHo

haha back when they were the aints

http://i.imgur.com/wAcXCc1.png

win probability pats/browns

http://i.imgur.com/KYbyMFd.png

lol

abominable megatron

http://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/737/4220/original.jpg

hahaha oh man

gronk tore both the ACL and MCL in his right knee, RIP

that first graph should go on the browns' helmets

rip gronk

heaven needed a fratboy

it was a cool career.

brandon marshall just threw the best block i've ever seen by a wr

josh mccown might actually be better than jay cutler

He looked great on that last drive

wow alshon

Gruden just called that one dead on with that bootleg play coming right after he said it would happen.

hey GO BEERS I MEAN BEARS

i'm all like to my wife "hey, your hometown team is doing really well and incidentally is beating my least favorite team of all time" and she's all like "i don't care"

psh. in philadelphia we all invested in the success of the eagles GO BEARS

aw man, this is great. merry christmas guys. bears eating the cowboys alive. delish.

i think trestman is as much an offensive genius as jason garrett is a terrible head coach.

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/10110834/mike-shanahan-washington-http://images.chron.com/blogs/askacat/hatcat.JPG-sit-robert-griffin-iii-rest-year

Is McCown the 2014 Bears QB?

cutler's a free agent and everything out of the bears camp has seemed to indicate they're not going to be the suckers who overpay for him