Footballers who really don't need to be on Twitter

http://l.yimg.com/a/p/sp/editorial_image/f5/f5d7e0d3cc20713549dc49944112e62b/this_is_how_a_footballer_introduces_himself_to_twitter.jpg

And then:

https://twitter.com/#!/HayleyGa11agher/status/95611671795609600

Hahaha

LOL

Thanks Paul.

sandroraniere Sandro Raniere
I had my check up today with the doctor, and he said my knee getting better.

What a shit cunt: https://twitter.com/#!/Georgeporter15/status/154992549965213696

The USA international was left stunned as Wigan's then second-string keeper Floyd Croll had Howard scrambling into the back of his net with an incredible Pat Jennings-esque kick at Moss Lane in November 2005.

Croll, now plying his trade lower down the football pyramid with Isthmian League outfit AFC Sudbury, immediately took to Twitter to remind the 32-year-old of his freakish feat.

'I have scored to haven't I Mr Howard #iownyoustill'

https://twitter.com/cesc4official/statuses/156436128906477568

Georgeporter15 George Porter
Pizza express is so underated.
27 Dec

footballers who need to be on ILX

oh Szczesnypaws

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/16498907.stm

jeez louise

It has a different meaning in Poland.

Rapists obviously dress badly in Poland

Not sure a guy in an Arsenal keeper's jersey can call other people out for dressing like a rapist.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-16511735

This joker apparently said he'd have to padlock his arse if he had the bed next to Gareth Thomas in Celeb Big Brother. Stay classy, footballers on Twitter.

if nothing else this is hopefully going to contribute to a widespread understanding that ppl on Twitter who do that 'hashtag followed by several words run together' thing after every single thing they tweet are horrible thickos

twitter hashtags are the most banal thing ever and possibly the most pass/agg thing ever when they consist of #compoundphraseshighlightingenemiesnotionalfaults

― jhøshea nrq (nakhchivan), Thursday, January 5, 2012 2:37 PM (6 days ago)

RT RT RT RT

can't believe footballers aren't experts in diplomatic language

Can't believe clubs let them near public fora uncontrolled

don't they get media coaching these days

yeah

I wonder, were media coaching graded, how many of them would pass it?

if you see what i mean, like

http://www.oxfordtimes.co.uk/news/9464684.Lee_Steele_sacked_by_Oxford_City_after_Twitter_remark_about_Gareth_Thomas/?ref=mr

wow. kudos to Oxford tbh

Wish the mighty O's would sack George Porter.

That Lee Steele was the thing I failed to link to just upthread because I am not good with mobile phone cutting and pasting. Some of the reaction to it on the (usually a cut above the rest) football forum I frequent has just added to my general misanthropy.

it's the usual really simple point - if i tweeted that with my name and professional status attached to it i would almost certainly be fired, DUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHH

Yeah, I would have thought so too. Though it's giving the "OMG, PC gone mad, are they banning joeks bruv lol" etc etc twunts a nice platform to air their general idiocy.

Talking of idiocy, Jeff Winter is a tool.

If you get rid of the 'who' in the thread title, you have my answer.

Rugby players who really don't need to be on Twitter

Wrong thread!!!!!!

Right thread!!!!!

this thread is going to be useful for me in my new endeavour. going to have a twitter called something like "footballers doing things" dedicated to RTing footballers who are going to nando's or the cinema, etc.

Basically all footballers do is talk about going to Nandos unless they are Joey Barton or Jos Hooiveld or Cillian Sheridan.

Or Dominic Cervi, he goes to Tropeiro instead, and quotes the bible a lot.

i live really near tropeiro and have never been. because i suspect it will be shite. celtic players liking it isn't really swinging me.

but im semi intrigued. i should go just to satisfy my curiosity.

steven caulker @stevencaulker91
it was all a dream i used to watch Swansea City in division 3 now they in the premier league playing top 4 teams

@ftbllrsdoinstff

ok ive started on this. just on a following spree at the moment, then ill let the sweet sweet tweets come to me. yes i understand there is no reason why anyone would want to follow an account that aggregates boring tweets by footballers.

ha, i was gonna direct you towards phil neville

he's going to be mvp i think.

Aww, the chat between Phil and Gary is quite endearing.

I would recommend the entire fucking Brentford squad ("training done...time to hit westfield") and Boro lad @joebennett27 (who has protected his endless Nandos and FIFA updates)

aye ive a few brentford. niall mcginn of brentford, who used to be at celtic, tweets about nando's about once a week. the holy trifecta is really the cinema, nando's and fifa, with coffee chains getting an honourable mention.

a friend and i actually went to the cinema then nando's today, pretending we were footballers for a day.

I have never been to Nando's

it's alright.

i am now following 274 professional footballers. that's enough for one night.

Neil38Etheridge Neil Etheridge
by ftbllrsdoinstff
Wow just goggled Jay-Z and I think e must have the biggest collection of sun glasses ever! Everything he wears he has shades to match!
9 hours ago

My favourite thing about following footballers on Twitter is seeing the deluded ones who believe the people who beg for retweets because footballer X is their favourite footballer. Seriously. No-one in the history of football has ever had Niall McGinn or Cillian Sheridan as their favourite Celtic player, yet every other week you get a "u cud huv been a Celtic legend, u were my fave player, please RT".

i wd rather eat in KFC than Nando's no lie

Well i just found out Nando's actually recently opened their first Dublin branch, perhaps i will go investigate it this weekend. Exciting

McGinn can't even hack it at Brentford, so the idea of him becoming a Celtic legend is laughable. Our keeper @rleegk has positioned himself as a sort of footballing Alain de Botton, tweeting a load of Clinton Cards 'inspirational' neuro-linguistic bullshit.