Footballers who really don't need to be on Twitter

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twitter hashtags are the most banal thing ever and possibly the most pass/agg thing ever when they consist of #compoundphraseshighlightingenemiesnotionalfaults

― jhøshea nrq (nakhchivan), Thursday, January 5, 2012 2:37 PM (6 days ago)

difficult christening shower (nakhchivan), Wednesday, 11 January 2012 20:50 (twelve years ago) link

RT RT RT RT

difficult christening shower (nakhchivan), Wednesday, 11 January 2012 20:55 (twelve years ago) link

can't believe footballers aren't experts in diplomatic language

Can't believe clubs let them near public fora uncontrolled

til the power failure (darraghmac), Wednesday, 11 January 2012 21:03 (twelve years ago) link

don't they get media coaching these days

Number None, Wednesday, 11 January 2012 21:05 (twelve years ago) link

yeah

I wonder, were media coaching graded, how many of them would pass it?

if you see what i mean, like

til the power failure (darraghmac), Wednesday, 11 January 2012 21:10 (twelve years ago) link

wow. kudos to Oxford tbh

Poppy Newgod and the Phantom Banned (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 12 January 2012 20:38 (twelve years ago) link

Wish the mighty O's would sack George Porter.

James Mitchell, Thursday, 12 January 2012 23:12 (twelve years ago) link

That Lee Steele was the thing I failed to link to just upthread because I am not good with mobile phone cutting and pasting. Some of the reaction to it on the (usually a cut above the rest) football forum I frequent has just added to my general misanthropy.

ailsa, Friday, 13 January 2012 11:32 (twelve years ago) link

it's the usual really simple point - if i tweeted that with my name and professional status attached to it i would almost certainly be fired, DUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHH

Poppy Newgod and the Phantom Banned (Noodle Vague), Friday, 13 January 2012 11:35 (twelve years ago) link

Yeah, I would have thought so too. Though it's giving the "OMG, PC gone mad, are they banning joeks bruv lol" etc etc twunts a nice platform to air their general idiocy.

Talking of idiocy, Jeff Winter is a tool.

ailsa, Friday, 13 January 2012 14:36 (twelve years ago) link

If you get rid of the 'who' in the thread title, you have my answer.

Do you know what the secret of comity is? (Michael White), Friday, 13 January 2012 15:08 (twelve years ago) link

Wrong thread!!!!!!

Then in walked Barbara Castle with the Lady Eleanor (Tom D.), Saturday, 14 January 2012 12:58 (twelve years ago) link

Right thread!!!!!

Then in walked Barbara Castle with the Lady Eleanor (Tom D.), Saturday, 14 January 2012 12:58 (twelve years ago) link

this thread is going to be useful for me in my new endeavour. going to have a twitter called something like "footballers doing things" dedicated to RTing footballers who are going to nando's or the cinema, etc.

zverotic discourse (jim in glasgow), Thursday, 26 January 2012 19:51 (twelve years ago) link

Basically all footballers do is talk about going to Nandos unless they are Joey Barton or Jos Hooiveld or Cillian Sheridan.

ailsa, Thursday, 26 January 2012 20:24 (twelve years ago) link

Or Dominic Cervi, he goes to Tropeiro instead, and quotes the bible a lot.

ailsa, Thursday, 26 January 2012 20:26 (twelve years ago) link

i live really near tropeiro and have never been. because i suspect it will be shite. celtic players liking it isn't really swinging me.

zverotic discourse (jim in glasgow), Thursday, 26 January 2012 20:34 (twelve years ago) link

but im semi intrigued. i should go just to satisfy my curiosity.

zverotic discourse (jim in glasgow), Thursday, 26 January 2012 20:35 (twelve years ago) link

steven caulker @stevencaulker91
it was all a dream i used to watch Swansea City in division 3 now they in the premier league playing top 4 teams

mizzell, Thursday, 26 January 2012 20:56 (twelve years ago) link

@ftbllrsdoinstff

ok ive started on this. just on a following spree at the moment, then ill let the sweet sweet tweets come to me. yes i understand there is no reason why anyone would want to follow an account that aggregates boring tweets by footballers.

zverotic discourse (jim in glasgow), Thursday, 26 January 2012 22:31 (twelve years ago) link

ha, i was gonna direct you towards phil neville

Number None, Thursday, 26 January 2012 22:44 (twelve years ago) link

he's going to be mvp i think.

zverotic discourse (jim in glasgow), Thursday, 26 January 2012 22:56 (twelve years ago) link

Aww, the chat between Phil and Gary is quite endearing.

I would recommend the entire fucking Brentford squad ("training done...time to hit westfield") and Boro lad @joebennett27 (who has protected his endless Nandos and FIFA updates)

oppet, Friday, 27 January 2012 00:21 (twelve years ago) link

aye ive a few brentford. niall mcginn of brentford, who used to be at celtic, tweets about nando's about once a week. the holy trifecta is really the cinema, nando's and fifa, with coffee chains getting an honourable mention.

zverotic discourse (jim in glasgow), Friday, 27 January 2012 00:32 (twelve years ago) link

a friend and i actually went to the cinema then nando's today, pretending we were footballers for a day.

zverotic discourse (jim in glasgow), Friday, 27 January 2012 00:33 (twelve years ago) link

I have never been to Nando's

Number None, Friday, 27 January 2012 00:34 (twelve years ago) link

it's alright.

i am now following 274 professional footballers. that's enough for one night.

zverotic discourse (jim in glasgow), Friday, 27 January 2012 01:09 (twelve years ago) link

Neil38Etheridge Neil Etheridge
by ftbllrsdoinstff
Wow just goggled Jay-Z and I think e must have the biggest collection of sun glasses ever! Everything he wears he has shades to match!
9 hours ago

My favourite thing about following footballers on Twitter is seeing the deluded ones who believe the people who beg for retweets because footballer X is their favourite footballer. Seriously. No-one in the history of football has ever had Niall McGinn or Cillian Sheridan as their favourite Celtic player, yet every other week you get a "u cud huv been a Celtic legend, u were my fave player, please RT".

ailsa, Friday, 27 January 2012 09:46 (twelve years ago) link

i wd rather eat in KFC than Nando's no lie

summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those tumblr whites (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 January 2012 10:21 (twelve years ago) link

Well i just found out Nando's actually recently opened their first Dublin branch, perhaps i will go investigate it this weekend. Exciting

Number None, Friday, 27 January 2012 10:34 (twelve years ago) link

McGinn can't even hack it at Brentford, so the idea of him becoming a Celtic legend is laughable. Our keeper @rleegk has positioned himself as a sort of footballing Alain de Botton, tweeting a load of Clinton Cards 'inspirational' neuro-linguistic bullshit.

oppet, Friday, 27 January 2012 10:40 (twelve years ago) link

oh god i can feel another poll coming on

summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those tumblr whites (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 January 2012 10:59 (twelve years ago) link

eh

'can't hack it @ brentford' isn't necessarily an automatic strikeout in the path to 'celtic legend'

teaky frigger (darraghmac), Friday, 27 January 2012 11:09 (twelve years ago) link

Yeah, League One is pretty competitive.

summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh those tumblr whites (Noodle Vague), Friday, 27 January 2012 11:10 (twelve years ago) link

this thread is going to be useful for me in my new endeavour. going to have a twitter called something like "footballers doing things" dedicated to RTing footballers who are going to nando's or the cinema, etc.

― zverotic discourse (jim in glasgow), Thursday, 26 January 2012 19:51 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

does this exist yet? i will follow

caek, Friday, 27 January 2012 11:16 (twelve years ago) link

i live really near tropeiro and have never been.

I work right next to it and have never been. We were supposed to go for Christmas lunch in 2010 but a fire prevented it. In the 18 months or so it has been there I have never seen more than two occupied tables.

ERIC CANONTA FOR PRESIDETN! (onimo), Friday, 27 January 2012 11:17 (twelve years ago) link

that's where the marketing team get on the case and 'spacious & comfortable' starts appearing on the leaflets

teaky frigger (darraghmac), Friday, 27 January 2012 11:21 (twelve years ago) link

does this exist yet? i will follow

https://twitter.com/#!/ftbllrsdoinstff

ERIC CANONTA FOR PRESIDETN! (onimo), Friday, 27 January 2012 11:22 (twelve years ago) link

I tried following last night, but Twitter wasn't playing nice.

ailsa, Friday, 27 January 2012 11:28 (twelve years ago) link

Following. Good work, Jim.

ailsa, Friday, 27 January 2012 11:50 (twelve years ago) link

'can't hack it @ brentford' isn't necessarily an automatic strikeout in the path to 'celtic legend'

Yeah I had forgotten about Rod Stewart tbf.

oppet, Friday, 27 January 2012 11:51 (twelve years ago) link

lol

teaky frigger (darraghmac), Friday, 27 January 2012 11:54 (twelve years ago) link

My favourite thing about following footballers on Twitter is seeing the deluded ones who believe the people who beg for retweets because footballer X is their favourite footballer. Seriously. No-one in the history of football has ever had Niall McGinn or Cillian Sheridan as their favourite Celtic player, yet every other week you get a "u cud huv been a Celtic legend, u were my fave player, please RT".

― ailsa, Friday, January 27, 2012 4:46 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

you can tell by how they retweet that they actually believe them?

mizzell, Friday, 27 January 2012 15:02 (twelve years ago) link

Errrrrrrrrrr, since when was Rod Stewart a "Celtic legend"?

Charles Kennedy Jumped Up, He Called 'Oh No'. (Tom D.), Friday, 27 January 2012 15:04 (twelve years ago) link

But good gag tho

Charles Kennedy Jumped Up, He Called 'Oh No'. (Tom D.), Friday, 27 January 2012 15:04 (twelve years ago) link

xposts. if they RT without comment someone who says "please RT because I think you're a legend", I sort of believe they believe it, or at least want to. "look at me, followers, someone thinks I'm a legend!"

ailsa, Friday, 27 January 2012 16:27 (twelve years ago) link


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